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(Fox 8 New Orleans)   It's a heartwarming family moment when your dad offers you instructional tips about having sex ... with your mom   (fox8live.com) divider line 110
    More: Sick, Luzerne County, university system, French Quarter, Bobby Jindal, LaToya Cantrell  
•       •       •

17176 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Dec 2012 at 11:50 AM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-10 04:57:53 AM  
It's shake n bake, and I helped?
 
2012-12-10 05:05:09 AM  
8 years old? What the hell?

It's one thing to have sex with your biological mother in certain circumstances. Especially if you've been separated since birth or thereabouts and meet again as adults. That's literally a classic blunder. There's even science to back it up. So that's only 9.9/10 on the creepy scale.

An 8 year old at all is 10/10, easily.

But to combine the two into one horrific lifestyle? That don't even go to 11. That's like a 12.5.
 
2012-12-10 06:13:25 AM  
With some stories, there are no words.
 
2012-12-10 07:05:43 AM  
...when you are the daughter.
 
2012-12-10 08:24:18 AM  
"What's wrong with a kiss, boy?"
 
2012-12-10 09:04:34 AM  
"Don't go diving straight for the clitoris!"
 
2012-12-10 09:16:12 AM  
He was home-schooled yet didn't know how to use utensils, but can find the G-spot because his molester father coached him on banging his mother.

Ugh.

Hopefully the boy lands in a good home and goes on to Penn State some day.
 
2012-12-10 09:58:42 AM  
Prosecutors said the boy lived in squalor and didn't know how to use eating utensils or tie his shoelaces when removed from his Plymouth, Luzerne County, home in August 2010.

Damn...fantasy ruined.
 
2012-12-10 10:16:06 AM  
The northeastern Pennsylvania boy, who was home-schooled, said he didn't know that sex with his mom was wrong until years later, when he was placed in foster care.

I hope the foster mom was hot. For his sake, of course.
 
2012-12-10 10:18:54 AM  
What a farked up childhood.
 
2012-12-10 11:52:14 AM  
oblig
1.bp.blogspot.com 
/doesn't apply to THIS article but hey, who's counting
 
2012-12-10 11:53:02 AM  
Was She HAWT?>??
/I'm betting, um no.
//Poor little Oedipus.
 
2012-12-10 11:55:34 AM  
Creppiness level of article: Abandon Thread.
 
2012-12-10 11:56:14 AM  
Ewwww. Ewwww. Ewwwwwwwwwww.
 
2012-12-10 11:56:15 AM  

CygnusDarius: Creppiness Creepiness level of article: Abandon Thread.


FTFM.
 
2012-12-10 11:56:53 AM  

ChipNASA: Was She HAWT?>??
/I'm betting, um no.
//Poor little Oedipus.


Now he's gotta gouge his eyes off, and live in a secluded island.
 
2012-12-10 11:57:45 AM  
How has someone not picked up the movie rights to this heartwarming tale?
 
2012-12-10 11:57:48 AM  
Well that was a lighthearted read. Now if you excuse me, I've got a horrible taste in my mouth and some vomit to clean up.
 
2012-12-10 11:58:15 AM  

doglover: 8 years old? What the hell?

It's one thing to have sex with your biological mother in certain circumstances. Especially if you've been separated since birth or thereabouts and meet again as adults. That's literally a classic blunder. There's even science to back it up. So that's only 9.9/10 on the creepy scale.


Oedipus approves. A little... Ok, now he's cutting hes eyeballs.
 
2012-12-10 11:58:29 AM  
So the dad raped little girls in 2002 and in 2005.

Then in 2005 or 2006 the mom started tapping the son.

Anyone here think that the mom caught the dad nailing kids and this twisted story is somehow the result?
 
2012-12-10 11:58:51 AM  
His... God damn it, I'm farking slipping on grammar this morning.
 
2012-12-10 11:59:21 AM  
Assuming he doesn't turn out to be the next Ted Bundy, his therapy bills will be astronomical.....
 
2012-12-10 12:00:34 PM  
Subby must hereby forfeit two Internets for his/her egregious failure to use the "Sick" tag.
 
2012-12-10 12:00:41 PM  
Well, that's homeschooling for ya.


/But seriously, WTF is wrong with those people FTA?
 
2012-12-10 12:00:56 PM  

freewill: Ewwww. Ewwww. Ewwwwwwwwwww.


I've never seen the letter "U" sent in digust before. Morse really *IS* the most versatile form of communication!
 
2012-12-10 12:01:37 PM  
Did junior and pop DP her?

I'm guessing that this started out as Pop's kink. An eight year old's woody is only about the size of your thumb. I can't see how that would be anything but a nuisance to a grown woman.
 
2012-12-10 12:01:42 PM  

CygnusDarius: His... God damn it, I'm farking slipping on grammar this morning.


Well, grammar can be slippery when it gets wet.
 
2012-12-10 12:02:05 PM  
Not dumbass, sad. This isn't a "sex offender list for pissing in public" thing or "niiiccceee" cougar teacher, this is really farking up some poor kids life.
 
2012-12-10 12:03:16 PM  
"Dumbass" seems like entirely the wrong tag for this story. Should be "Sick". Subby is either trolling or dumbass.

Anyways, yeah, that's sick. Not cool!
 
2012-12-10 12:03:32 PM  

Leeds: So the dad raped little girls in 2002 and in 2005.

Then in 2005 or 2006 the mom started tapping the son.

Anyone here think that the mom caught the dad nailing kids and this twisted story is somehow the result?


I'm not finding a situation where that makes much sense, but I'm not finding anything about this situation that makes any sense. Conclusion: PLAUSIBLE
 
2012-12-10 12:03:55 PM  
This whole thing is so farked up that my Chrome crashed trying to display the thread.
 
2012-12-10 12:07:04 PM  

meanmutton: This whole thing is so farked up that my Chrome crashed trying to display the thread.


Same here.
 
2012-12-10 12:07:39 PM  

JackieRabbit: Did junior and pop DP her?

I'm guessing that this started out as Pop's kink. An eight year old's woody is only about the size of your thumb. I can't see how that would be anything but a nuisance to a grown woman.

 
2012-12-10 12:07:40 PM  
Wasn't this a scene from Not Another Teen Movie?
 
2012-12-10 12:08:20 PM  
JackieRabbit Why do you ask these things!? MY HEAD!
 
2012-12-10 12:08:32 PM  

ChipNASA: //Poor little Oedipus.


I'd rather marry a duck-billed platypus...
 
2012-12-10 12:09:52 PM  
wow...just wow
 
2012-12-10 12:09:58 PM  
This story is packed solid with industrial-strength creepy. Un-farking-fathomable.

Kid's probably a complete disaster going forward. Execute the parents.
 
2012-12-10 12:10:18 PM  

CygnusDarius: ChipNASA: Was She HAWT?>??
/I'm betting, um no.
//Poor little Oedipus.

Now he's gotta gouge his eyes off, and live in a secluded island.


One of the funniest lines in any mover ever:

Oedipus: [walking around collecting donations] Give to Oedipus! Give to Oedipus! Hey, Josephus!
Josephus: Hey, motherfarker!

/History of the World, Part 1
 
2012-12-10 12:10:42 PM  
Crap like this is why a lot of people think Homeschoolers are up to no good.
 
2012-12-10 12:11:15 PM  
www.the-back-row.commimg.ugo.com
 
2012-12-10 12:12:01 PM  
"ate a pus" was what started the whole thing, I still want to know if she was Hawt. it makes a difference.
 
2012-12-10 12:12:26 PM  

MCStymie: This story is packed solid with industrial-strength creepy. Un-farking-fathomable.

Kid's probably a complete disaster going forward. Execute the parents.


This article just makes me want to go tear my clothes off, and run naked in the streets yelling "tekeli-li! tekeli-li!".
 
2012-12-10 12:14:11 PM  

corronchilejano: meanmutton: This whole thing is so farked up that my Chrome crashed trying to display the thread.

Same here.


Bingo
 
2012-12-10 12:15:43 PM  

doglover: That's literally a classic blunder.


personally, i prefer the use of "literally" only when making a literary reference.
 
2012-12-10 12:17:03 PM  
How would an 8 year old do that? Physically? I recall reading someplace that babies can get erections but I don't recall getting one myself before I was 10 when my dorm-mates taught me how to wank. And even then I was almost 12 before anything came out.

So I call bullshiat. Pics or it didn't happen.

At 8 years old I was afraid to kiss a girl on the mouth because that would make her pregnant. Especially on a moonlit night. That's what happened on the old movies on TV; the soaps my mother watched taught me that a baby born out of wedlock would never get a name, a truly horrible fate. How would it know when it's mama was calling it for supper? It would starve! Then too it's the name that determines sex: you can tell Becky's a girl because "Becky" is a girl's name, right? Racer X would never have a baby without a name, neither would Bret Maverick.
 
2012-12-10 12:17:19 PM  

JackieRabbit: CygnusDarius: ChipNASA: Was She HAWT?>??
/I'm betting, um no.
//Poor little Oedipus.

Now he's gotta gouge his eyes off, and live in a secluded island.

One of the funniest lines in any mover ever:

Oedipus: [walking around collecting donations] Give to Oedipus! Give to Oedipus! Hey, Josephus!
Josephus: Hey, motherfarker!

/History of the World, Part 1


Hot Tub Time Machine did this pretty well, as well. (Young adult) kid sees one of the characters doing the kid's mom, dives at the guy in a rage, yelling "Motherfarker!", knocking him away. the movie was full of casual profanity, and I'm convinced that was only so this line would seem natural.
 
2012-12-10 12:19:06 PM  

Principal Clarinet: With some stories, there are no words.


And thankfully, no pictures.
 
2012-12-10 12:19:45 PM  
That is *never* heartwarming. Embarrassing, yeah.
 
2012-12-10 12:19:54 PM  
doctor: is your daughter sexually active?
father: ummm...nope. she jus lays there like her mama
 
2012-12-10 12:20:34 PM  

CygnusDarius: MCStymie: This story is packed solid with industrial-strength creepy. Un-farking-fathomable.

Kid's probably a complete disaster going forward. Execute the parents.

This article just makes me want to go tear my clothes off, and run naked in the streets yelling "tekeli-li! tekeli-li!".


THAT is fathomable. Proceed when ready.

/Gonna go scrub my brain with a wire brush
 
2012-12-10 12:21:21 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-12-10 12:22:05 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Principal Clarinet: With some stories, there are no words.

And thankfully, no pictures.


It's the little things that make life worth living.
 
2012-12-10 12:22:07 PM  
I'm all for messing with kids minds (why else have kids?) but this is WAY beyond anything I'd even think of!
 
2012-12-10 12:22:32 PM  

The One True TheDavid: How would an 8 year old do that? Physically? I recall reading someplace that babies can get erections but I don't recall getting one myself before I was 10 when my dorm-mates taught me how to wank. And even then I was almost 12 before anything came out.

So I call bullshiat


Kids hit puberty earlier these days (probably because of better nutrition and hormones everywhere). And even if he hadn't hit puberty yet, he'd probably still enjoy the sensations.

As for erections, my 4 year old has morning wood sometimes (complicating the morning potty trip a bit). He's asked "why is my penis sticking up?" and I gave the detailed explanation of "they do that sometimes". (Hey, it's accurate...)
 
2012-12-10 12:22:35 PM  
Luzerne County? My shock and surprise is down to about a 3 from the 10 where it was when I read the headline.
 
2012-12-10 12:23:46 PM  
VC Andrews seen taking notes.
 
2012-12-10 12:23:51 PM  

8DragonFark: I'm all for messing with kids minds (why else have kids?) but this is WAY beyond anything I'd even think of!


I thought that was the reason some parents played D&D with their kids.
 
2012-12-10 12:25:22 PM  
He's going to live with his aunt and uncle. Wut? sounds like out of the frying pan, into the fire.
 
2012-12-10 12:27:25 PM  
Thank God this story didn't happen a little more down South. We catch enough shiat as it is.. ;)
 
2012-12-10 12:28:16 PM  
The Aristocrats!
 
2012-12-10 12:33:17 PM  

blottoman: He's going to live with his aunt and uncle. Wut? sounds like out of the frying pan, into the fire.


Exactly what I was thinking.

Pennsyltucky isn't called that for no reason. It's all badlands west of the Schkukyll
 
2012-12-10 12:37:11 PM  

blottoman: He's going to live with his aunt and uncle. Wut? sounds like out of the frying pan, into the fire.


If that whole genetic line is farked that way (in more ways than one), I might suggest putting the kid in adoption, in another english-speaking country, and heavy counseling and observation for a few years.
 
2012-12-10 12:38:01 PM  
Plymouth, Luzerne County

My wifes entire family is from Plymouth PA. Not sure where I'm going with this...

karmaceutical: Crap like this is why a lot of people think Homeschoolers are up to no good.


To continue to draw the politics out of this, this is what happens when you have "bi-partisan compromise". Hard core liberal/union membership joined with conservative christian homeschool values.

Pick the side you want to hate and lets discuss. Or, like me, figure politics doesn't have a place in this.
 
2012-12-10 12:39:12 PM  
Sound household. "Can Jimmie come out and play?" "In a bit, he and his mother should be coming any moment now."
 
2012-12-10 12:41:27 PM  
Ah, old style homeschool math.

"Ma, how much does 8 go into 39?"
"Hmmm...about 4 inches..."
 
2012-12-10 12:44:02 PM  

corronchilejano: meanmutton: This whole thing is so farked up that my Chrome crashed trying to display the thread.

Same here.


I have gotten that in a different thread, twice.

I suspect some ad is non-compliant with Chrome.
 
2012-12-10 12:45:34 PM  

CygnusDarius: MCStymie: This story is packed solid with industrial-strength creepy. Un-farking-fathomable.

Kid's probably a complete disaster going forward. Execute the parents.

This article just makes me want to go tear my clothes off, and run naked in the streets yelling "tekeli-li! tekeli-li!".


Ha!
 
2012-12-10 12:46:29 PM  
A couple was convicted Friday of sexually abusing their young son, who testified he had frequent sexual encounters with his mom while his dad offered him instructions or tips on what to do.

I smell a book/movie deal.
 
2012-12-10 12:47:26 PM  

madgonad: corronchilejano: meanmutton: This whole thing is so farked up that my Chrome crashed trying to display the thread.

Same here.

I have gotten that in a different thread, twice.

I suspect some ad is non-compliant with Chrome.


I've been seeing constant complaints on twitter about Chrome crashing for people. I'm guessing it has to do with the various Google services that were down for awhile this morning.
 
2012-12-10 12:49:18 PM  

Buggs: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x316]


HI MOM!

i29.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-10 12:49:28 PM  

The One True TheDavid: How would an 8 year old do that? Physically? I recall reading someplace that babies can get erections but I don't recall getting one myself before I was 10 when my dorm-mates taught me how to wank. And even then I was almost 12 before anything came out.


What? You either have a bad memory or there was something physically wrong with you. I got frequent boners all my childhood life and I played "I'll touch yours if you touch mine with the little girl up the street a lot." I always got a throbber from it. I didn't have a clue about what it meant, though; it was just deliciously wicked. It was the same with all my buddies. We teased each other relentlessly about our spontaneous hard-ons.
 
2012-12-10 12:50:30 PM  
i256.photobucket.com
i211.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-10 12:50:45 PM  
The post count on the front page of Fark was 69 for this thread when I spotted it.

/I DO NOT have the weirdiest boner.
 
2012-12-10 12:53:19 PM  
Gaseous Anomaly:

As for erections, my 4 year old has morning wood sometimes (complicating the morning potty trip a bit). He's asked "why is my penis sticking up?" and I gave the detailed explanation of "they do that sometimes". (Hey, it's accurate...)

I had a bad-taste joke here but I decided not to post it.
 
2012-12-10 12:54:13 PM  
homeschooled?

i65.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-10 01:09:51 PM  
Imagine a scenario where this kid catches up with crazy Canadian cat-killer chick also talked about today.
 
2012-12-10 01:12:34 PM  
Home schooled and hot for teacher...


garykordan.photographyblogsites.com
 
2012-12-10 01:14:27 PM  
 
2012-12-10 01:29:46 PM  

JackieRabbit: Did junior and pop DP her?

I'm guessing that this started out as Pop's kink. An eight year old's woody is only about the size of your thumb. I can't see how that would be anything but a nuisance to a grown woman.



How the hell do you know how big my thumb is, you pervert!
 
2012-12-10 01:33:09 PM  

The One True TheDavid: How would an 8 year old do that? Physically? I recall reading someplace that babies can get erections but I don't recall getting one myself before I was 10 when my dorm-mates taught me how to wank. And even then I was almost 12 before anything came out.

So I call bullshiat. Pics or it didn't happen.

At 8 years old I was afraid to kiss a girl on the mouth because that would make her pregnant. Especially on a moonlit night. That's what happened on the old movies on TV; the soaps my mother watched taught me that a baby born out of wedlock would never get a name, a truly horrible fate. How would it know when it's mama was calling it for supper? It would starve! Then too it's the name that determines sex: you can tell Becky's a girl because "Becky" is a girl's name, right? Racer X would never have a baby without a name, neither would Bret Maverick.


You know how people accidentally post in the wrong thread? Well, this isn't your group therapy session.
 
2012-12-10 01:55:29 PM  

dabbletech: JackieRabbit: Did junior and pop DP her?

I'm guessing that this started out as Pop's kink. An eight year old's woody is only about the size of your thumb. I can't see how that would be anything but a nuisance to a grown woman.


How the hell do you know how big my thumb is, you pervert!


I have your smartphone tapped. Your thumb makes me hot, studly man!
 
2012-12-10 01:57:56 PM  
Does this family know how to party, or what?!?
 
2012-12-10 01:59:55 PM  

doczoidberg: Does this family know how to party, or what?!?


Family reunions must be like the last days of Caligula.
 
2012-12-10 02:19:16 PM  
 
2012-12-10 02:22:06 PM  
niiiiiice
 
2012-12-10 02:23:38 PM  
Hey, motherfarker!
 
2012-12-10 02:24:10 PM  
"Ewwww, we're related!"
"Only by blood."

static.cinemagia.ro
 
BHK
2012-12-10 02:31:13 PM  

karmaceutical: Crap like this is why a lot of people think Homeschoolers are up to no good.


Yep. In government schools, no child is ever molested by teachers.
 
2012-12-10 02:54:56 PM  
Traumatized or not, that poor kid has no future to look forward to in Wilkes Barre.
 
2012-12-10 03:37:34 PM  
Does anybody in Wilkes-Barre really have a future to look forward to?
 
2012-12-10 03:37:40 PM  

thismomentinblackhistory:
Hopefully the boy lands in a good home and goes on to Penn State some day.



starttroll.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-10 03:43:01 PM  

HAMMERTOE: Does anybody in Wilkes-Barre really have a future to look forward to?


My mom went to Wilkes U. and had a very successful career as an AT&T exec.

But I have to admit, she's lousy in bed.
 
2012-12-10 03:48:30 PM  

JackieRabbit: dabbletech: JackieRabbit: Did junior and pop DP her?

I'm guessing that this started out as Pop's kink. An eight year old's woody is only about the size of your thumb. I can't see how that would be anything but a nuisance to a grown woman.


How the hell do you know how big my thumb is, you pervert!

I have your smartphone tapped. Your thumb makes me hot, studly man!



Who is this eight year old?

gifs.gifbin.com
 
2012-12-10 04:28:40 PM  

Gaseous Anomaly: As for erections, my 4 year old has morning wood sometimes (complicating the morning potty trip a bit). He's asked "why is my penis sticking up?" and I gave the detailed explanation of "they do that sometimes". (Hey, it's accurate...)


When my son was small I had him shower with me in the big shower/tub. It was expedient and I knew he was getting clean. When he was about 6 he says to me, "hey dad, this skin here below my willie, it's got two things in it. They feel like balls. What are they?"

"Those're your balls, son. Go easy on 'em."

OK.

Another time he said, "Hey dad, the skin on my balls is all wrinkled. It looks just like a brain."

"Yep."

What I didn't tell him was that it functions much like a brain, too.


It never occurred to me to have him copulate with his mother. Of course, after our second kid was born she pretty much quit copulating altogether, so it might not have mattered.
 
2012-12-10 04:35:21 PM  
Oh, and I thought that mother-son sex was Taboo
www.giallogoblin.com
 
2012-12-10 04:40:56 PM  
Yeah... Creepy.
 
2012-12-10 05:03:08 PM  

buckeyebrain: The Aristocrats!


and scene.
 
2012-12-10 05:20:38 PM  
 
2012-12-10 05:23:34 PM  
I have had sex with a lot of mothers in my lifetime and yes even when I was underage, but never with my own mother and my dad was not there providing instructions. I am going to have to be on the side of I am not ok with this.
 
2012-12-10 05:29:59 PM  

RagnarD: "It started when I was 14, my mom was 37"

 

Now with the very important quotation marks
And, NSFW
 
2012-12-10 06:25:19 PM  

madgonad: corronchilejano: meanmutton: This whole thing is so farked up that my Chrome crashed trying to display the thread.

Same here.

I have gotten that in a different thread, twice.

I suspect some ad is non-compliant with Chrome.


Switch to Netscape Navigator - it's more robust
 
2012-12-10 07:01:57 PM  
Strangest boner.jpg
 
Skr
2012-12-10 07:04:13 PM  
I'm assuming this wasn't one of the team building activities where the kid was just having a second birth into a new life. Over and over again.
 
2012-12-10 07:15:30 PM  

RagnarD: RagnarD: "It started when I was 14, my mom was 37" 

Now with the very important quotation marks
And, NSFW


Reading reddit is a little... Odd. That, and... That was freakin' odd.
 
2012-12-10 11:15:58 PM  

dittybopper: freewill: Ewwww. Ewwww. Ewwwwwwwwwww.

I've never seen the letter "U" sent in digust before.


Now, sending "digust" without the letter "u" - that would be a challenge.
 
2012-12-11 12:49:46 AM  
media.salon.com

Not impressed.
 
2012-12-11 01:04:43 AM  

RagnarD: RagnarD: "It started when I was 14, my mom was 37" 

Now with the very important quotation marks
And, NSFW


I read through that and... Yeah. I have no idea.
 
2012-12-11 11:29:13 AM  
tancast.com
Approves


/eight year olds, dude....
 
2012-12-11 11:48:32 AM  

Principal Clarinet: With some stories, there are no words.


I'm guessing this is not one of them since you managed to use seven.
 
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