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(Utah Daily Herald Extra)   Alabama's last dry county, where pretty much everyone drinks but keeps voting against it   (heraldextra.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Alabama, dry county, Clay County, open secret, drinks  
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9809 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2012 at 9:46 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2012-12-09 10:05:24 PM  
8 votes:
Why do you you always take take two Baptists fishing with you?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

/funny because it's true
//I know it's true because of the scowl my Baptist aunt made when I told her that joke
2012-12-09 10:38:56 PM  
4 votes:
Roadtrip! We passed through a family values area on Sunday. We were a family but we had no values. "Why are you buying alcohol on the Lord's day," the shopkeeper asked my Uncle. "Why are you selling it," he replied.
2012-12-09 10:20:50 PM  
4 votes:

Robots are Strong: L.D. Ablo: Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.

They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.


www.hotflick.net

And just what makes you think that's ok?
2012-12-09 10:05:35 PM  
4 votes:
Usually drinkers are more discrete in dry counties. Most days. Same thing for marijuana smokers -- more discrete in places that frown on marijuana. Serial killers really have the hardest time.
2012-12-10 01:07:44 AM  
3 votes:

pion: Fade2black: I'm not racist, honest!

If you have to say you're not racist, you are. Sorry, bro.


Bullshiat! Some of his best friends are white.
2012-12-09 09:27:44 PM  
3 votes:
FTA: People like the Rev. Bruce Willis say it's unlikely the county will ever go wet. He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

So much awesome in that paragraph... Yipiee Ki Yay mothermoonshiners

<inigomontoya.jpg>
/ Family values do not work that way
2012-12-09 09:03:30 PM  
3 votes:
He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?
2012-12-09 10:35:41 PM  
2 votes:
Worked with a lot of them, back in the day.

"Can we bring you something to drink?"

"WE DO NOT DRINK!"

"Sorry, didn't realize y'all get all the moisture you need from gravy."
2012-12-09 10:13:49 PM  
2 votes:

L.D. Ablo: Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.


They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.
2012-12-09 10:05:20 PM  
2 votes:

L.D. Ablo: Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.


You know........
1.bp.blogspot.com
.........Buttholes.
2012-12-09 09:30:34 PM  
2 votes:
Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.
2012-12-10 01:13:01 AM  
1 vote:

quatchi: He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?


Hell, they put it on a track and made a sport out of it.
2012-12-09 11:54:05 PM  
1 vote:

suckerpunch: Why do you you always take take two Baptists fishing with you?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

/funny because it's true
//I know it's true because of the scowl my Baptist aunt made when I told her that joke


Growing up, I always thought my great aunt was an alcoholic because whoever was hosting a family gathering picked up a sixer of Miller High Life (I think) for her and she'd drink it constantly. I didn't find out until I was older that she was baptist, unlike the rest of us, and only drank when she was away from her community.
2012-12-09 11:15:40 PM  
1 vote:
The only time a Baptist won't try to save you is when you pass him in the liquor store aisle.
2012-12-09 10:32:38 PM  
1 vote:
And I just saw on the news the other night that Weld County (in Colorado) is scrambling to make sure that marijuana won't be sold there.

There's also a lesson to be learned in my own town which is in the county next to Weld. In 2011, we voted to ban Medical Marijuana dispensaries. In 2012, we reversed that ban. Apparently the stoners are too lazy to vote unless the White House is in question.

Farking dumbasses.

Most people just don't seem to care. They think to themselves that they can get booze (or pot) so why bother taking the time to vote? Really? Do you realize how easy it is to vote? Apparently not.

I think I'm going to start a petition to make alcohol illegal here - just for the lulz (and to prove that it's too easy to put something on the ballot. FARK: I'll push to make it an Amendment to the state constituion - it's time someone trolled the system).
2012-12-09 10:18:33 PM  
1 vote:
Allow me to shed light on the "Family values" scenario:

Not family values - Going out to a bar, getting hammered and nailing the 55 year old waitress that works there.

Family values - drinking booze that you made in your backyard with close freinds and family and nailing the woman that lives there.

/I meant your wife
//sick bastards
2012-12-09 10:09:00 PM  
1 vote:

atomic-age: Somacandra: There must be an exception for sacramental wine for both Catholics and Jews. There was in the Prohibition laws.

It's Clay County, AL. I'd be shocked if anyone is anything aside from about four flavors of Baptist.
/From Alabama
//Never moving back.


Same here. My parents still live in Bama and keep trying to get me to move back there - it's not happening. I'm happier living in Jersey (and I hate Jersey).
2012-12-09 10:07:55 PM  
1 vote:

BitwiseShift: Usually drinkers are more discrete in dry counties. Most days. Same thing for marijuana smokers -- more discrete in places that frown on marijuana. Serial killers really have the hardest time.


Yes, there are only a few counties that allow serial killers to work openly and without glares from the general populace.
2012-12-09 10:00:45 PM  
1 vote:

doyner: Alabama has nothing on Arkansas in this regard.


Kentucky is so messed up it gets it's own page.
2012-12-09 10:00:17 PM  
1 vote:
Thats what happens when church folks and bootleggers form a coalition .
2012-12-09 09:58:33 PM  
1 vote:
Man... there must be a lot of Baptists in that county!
2012-12-09 09:58:23 PM  
1 vote:
Rev. Bruce Willis?! fark yeah!
2012-12-09 09:57:37 PM  
1 vote:
Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.
2012-12-09 09:47:52 PM  
1 vote:
I lived in a dry county in west Texas. You knew you reached the county line when there was a liquor store next to the highway in the middle of nowhere.
2012-12-09 09:44:28 PM  
1 vote:
2012-12-09 09:02:38 PM  
1 vote:
That pretty well capture a lot about "family values." Talk a good story, do what you want, condemn others who do what they want.
 
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