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(Utah Daily Herald Extra)   Alabama's last dry county, where pretty much everyone drinks but keeps voting against it   (heraldextra.com ) divider line
    More: Interesting, Alabama, dry county, Clay County, open secret, drinks  
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9802 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2012 at 9:46 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-12-09 09:30:34 PM  
14 votes:
Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.
2012-12-09 09:02:38 PM  
11 votes:
That pretty well capture a lot about "family values." Talk a good story, do what you want, condemn others who do what they want.
2012-12-09 09:54:37 PM  
6 votes:
Yes, hypocrisy must be a "Family Value" since so many Conservatives practice it.
2012-12-09 09:03:30 PM  
6 votes:
He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?
2012-12-09 10:05:45 PM  
4 votes:
I don't know about Alabama politics, but every single time a Wet/Dry vote comes up in Kentucky, you know in advance who's going to say what.

The Dry side will be lead by the preachers, especially the Southern Baptist ones. They'll be preaching from the pulpit (and writing to the newspapers, and maybe speaking on local radio stations) about how this vote will lead to more drunk driving, hence wrecks and deaths and endangering children. They'll talk about how alcohol destroys morality and is sinful and anti-Christian and it goes against the values of the community. They'll basically recite verbatim the temperance movement speeches of a century ago.

The Wet side will be lead by businessmen. They'll note how people already drink in the county, they just drive to the nearest Wet county to buy liquor (typically at one right on the county line). They'll note how people leave town to go several towns over to go to a place that serves liquor so they can have beer or wine with their meal. They'll argue about how bringing liquor sales in locally won't change how much drinking is done, but it will make sure the purchases are local and thus put money into the local economy.

As to which side wins, it's usually the businessmen leading the Wet charge, since everybody is drinking anyway and the idea of having better restaurants locally and not having to drive for 40 or 50 minutes to get to a liquor store is appealing. However, sometimes (especially in more rural counties where the preachers have more public power) the Dry vote still wins out.

Kentucky Liquor Laws are farked up.
2012-12-09 10:38:56 PM  
3 votes:
Roadtrip! We passed through a family values area on Sunday. We were a family but we had no values. "Why are you buying alcohol on the Lord's day," the shopkeeper asked my Uncle. "Why are you selling it," he replied.
2012-12-09 10:05:10 PM  
3 votes:
They get to lord their moral superiority over their neighbors while moonshining (because it makes them feel like rebels from government control).
2012-12-09 10:02:05 PM  
3 votes:
I think when the county bank accounts run dry they will have a revelation from Jeebus that liquor revenue ain't so bad.
2012-12-09 09:57:37 PM  
3 votes:
Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.
2012-12-09 09:56:47 PM  
3 votes:
People like the Rev. Bruce Willis say it's unlikely the county will ever go wet. He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Translation: Anyone who tries to get the law changed gets his ass handed to him in the next election by his opponent conveniently running on a "family values" platform, knowing full well that NOBODY will vote against "family values" whatever the hell that means.

Not unlike anyone in California who tries to get the three-strikes law amended and then gets clobbered by whoever wants to win running on a "tough on crime" ticket. Because we can't be soft on crime, right?
2012-12-10 08:25:34 AM  
2 votes:
I grew up in a dry town. Plenty of drunks. The guy who worked at the water plant and was related to the mayor (of course), drank on the job and was often seen sitting outside the water works building passed out. Some people hoped he would do that in the winter and die. The city was always being cited for poor water quality.

The town had been wet but there was an oil boom just prior to World War II and the oil companies had camps set up around the city. Every weekend, they'd dumped a hundred roughnecks on the town and they'd get drunk and cause trouble. The city banned liquor sales and the roughnecks went to the next town over to the west. Which also would up going dry.

Right after WW II, the oil refinery 'mysteriously' burned down and oil exploration peaked so the most of the companies moved on. I think Exxon stayed and had a small compound north of town but these guys all had cars and could go where they wanted. The biggest problem they posed was washing their oil work clothes in the local laundromat.

In the 70's, my father ran the weekly newspaper and pushed for a referendum on the 1976 ballot. His push was for the tax revenue and the additional jobs that a liquor store and bar might add. The churches ran ads in the paper extolling the virtues of sobriety and how Satan would descend on the town the moment a tavern opened. Funny thing was, they were getting money from the liquor stores in the next town east. The liquor stores paid the churches XXX dollars of which XX went towards advertising and X went in to the preacher's pockets. We know this because one of the liquor stores managers asked my father if he was charging the churches more for ad space. He had given the Baptist preacher enough money to buy a half page ad and he ran but a quarter page one. The liquor store owner was a former Vietnam Vet who paid me $10 to paint a Beetle Bailey poster saying "Sarge says No One under 18". My first copyright infringement! And that poster stayed up in to the 80's when someone crossed out the 18 and put in 21. Oh the art heathens!

On the day of the elections, the churchies went to the nursing home and had everyone there vote absentee. Even the comatose ones. The vote was close but it failed and someone called my dad and blew a raspberry before hanging up.

And every Sunday morning as the devout stumbled in to prayer, there were just as many empty cans of beer littering the streets as there were before and a couple of drunks tried to beat the train but hit the 14th car. Today, they are remembered as heroes and have their names on the new basketball scoreboard.

The town is wet now. Casey's came through and offered them fresh donuts and 24 hour service if they allowed them to sell beer. I think there's another liquor store and a 'sports bar'.

The town hasn't descended in to the very pits of Hell yet, but there's always hope.
2012-12-09 10:53:54 PM  
2 votes:

namatad: Alaska

State law allows each village to decide on restrictions, and some boroughs may prohibit it altogether.[57]
Three terms describing Alaskan Villages in common usage:
A "Dry Village" bans both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Wet Village" permits both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Damp Village" permits possession of alcohol but bans the sale of it..


HOW THE fark is possession illegal??
SHEESHHHHH
I hate these people.
I am SOOOO going to get arrested in one of these dumb fark villages and then sue them blind.


It's more to protect people from drinking themselves straight into the grave than to appease the Jebus. This state has a drinking problem so bad it's visible from space. For some of the native population, alcohol is literally all they have in life. They get suicidally drunk 24/7. I've heard of bootleggers getting $300 per fifth of Jack.
2012-12-09 10:32:01 PM  
2 votes:
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bootleggers_and_Baptists 

This situation is driven at least as much by economics as moralism.
2012-12-09 10:11:44 PM  
2 votes:
Even today, Clay County is one of only three counties in Alabama to have no U.S. Highways in its boundaries. - Check. Hopeless backwater.

During the Desert Shield/Storm conflict, Clay County had more soldiers serving per capita than any other county in the United States - Check. They'd do anything to get out of there.

Clay County, AL, violent crime, on a scale from 1 (low crime) to 10, is 6. Violent crime is composed of four offenses: murder and nonnegligent manslaughter, forcible rape, robbery, and aggravated assault. The US average is 4. Check. Above average violent crime.

17.10% of the population were below the poverty line, including 21.60% of those under age 18 and 19.00% of those age 65 or over.

About what I expected.

/seems the link went dry
2012-12-09 10:09:47 PM  
2 votes:

eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.


I just set foot in Alabama for the first time in my life today. First thing I saw coming through the clouds were a couple of huge churches. I got to thinking that damn, I'm a Yankee, a heathen, and by their terms at least, a librul. I'm pretty much not going to talk down here.

To be fair, I haven't heard "Y'all are from around here, are ya?" or "Roll Tide!" yet. But I've only seen family. I've got a full day down here tomorrow before I have to go to a funeral on Tuesday. Right now I'm in the hotel, and there are no less than 15 different religious channels on the TV. I did manage to get beer tonight though.

Sure, the cost of living might be cheaper around here, but other than that I haven't seen a single compelling reason to spend any time here.
2012-12-09 10:05:24 PM  
2 votes:
Why do you you always take take two Baptists fishing with you?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

/funny because it's true
//I know it's true because of the scowl my Baptist aunt made when I told her that joke
2012-12-09 09:58:53 PM  
2 votes:

Somacandra: There must be an exception for sacramental wine for both Catholics and Jews. There was in the Prohibition laws.


It's Clay County, AL. I'd be shocked if anyone is anything aside from about four flavors of Baptist.
/From Alabama
//Never moving back.
2012-12-09 09:49:29 PM  
2 votes:
Anyone feel like linking to their crime and divorce rates? Family values and all.
2012-12-10 11:35:10 PM  
1 vote:

JackieRabbit: People are figuring out that all the tourist money is going to the wet counties.


They're still trying to find ways to weasel out of going all out wet while keeping the tourist money in Kentucky. By the drink restaurant sales to attract the casual dining chains plus golf courses and historical sites, and small farm wineries.
2012-12-10 11:03:13 AM  
1 vote:
"People like the Rev. Bruce Willis say it's unlikely the county will ever go wet. He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important."

Well, he is certainly delusional. Dry counties are disappearing all over the South. It just can't last. I have a house in what was, until quite recently, dry. Everyone went into NC or one of the wet neighboring counties to by beer, wine and booze. Everyone said as late as two years ago, when a go wet referendum failed, that the county would never go wet. Another referendum passed the following year, allowing the sell of beer and wine. Now there is talk of another referendum to allow liquor sales. People are figuring out that all the tourist money is going to the wet counties. Where I live, the born-again tea-totalers just lost big time. A referendum passed earlier this year to allow Sunday liquor sales (on a county-by-county approval basis). Stores started opening on Sunday on October and owners are thrilled to have an extra day to make money.
2012-12-10 08:09:59 AM  
1 vote:
Sometimes counties are dry for racist/classist reasons. I had the explained to me by a sweet grandma in a dry Arkansas county.

You see, those people who are poor and don't have a car and would rather drink up what money they have rather than get enough of a job to buy a car won't want to live here. While the county is poor, being able to drive to the county line and back means that they aren't really poor like those people.
2012-12-10 07:54:07 AM  
1 vote:
I live in the largest dry city in Alabama. They just had their third vote to go wet. "No" won with an approximate 400 vote difference. For the six months prior, you couldn't drive in the city without being assaulted by signs in people's yards, billboards, and staged car accidents.

But, the Conoco down the hill makes money hand over fist selling beer and liquor to all the good, honest Baptists in the city. Somebody's getting paid.

// Told my wife I thought that the sign making company was behind it all.

// csb
2012-12-10 03:01:02 AM  
1 vote:
We've got people like that here in family friendly Pigeon Forge Tennessee to. Liquor by the drink (beer has been 100% legal for a long time) is up for legalization and that's being opposed by groups (one of them a pastor whose church I used to go to - he also says things like "There's no such thing as Christian rock music) who can't be satisfied from banning alcohol from their own lives and homes, they want to impose their values on everyone else. If there were an ordnance banning rock music from being played in this city and it was up for repeal, that bunch would oppose that referendum as well.
2012-12-10 02:25:57 AM  
1 vote:
Dry counties are illegal in Missouri. We did something right!
2012-12-10 01:30:08 AM  
1 vote:
I got nailed for beer in a dry county in Alabama in 1971 when I was 22, just not this one in the article.

My brother and I were on our way to our parents' home in Iowa for Christmas. I was driving Dad's El Camino with a capper top on the pick up bed. Just before we left Tallahassee, my brother bought a six pack of Bud and he each had a sandwich and one can of beer for lunch and then left. I thought Greg had put the remainder of the beer under the capper top. No, he put it behind the seat.

Six hours later, I drove through Carbon Hill, AL and just on the edge of town, got pulled over.

Cop: Looked to us like you was weaving there, boy. License and registration.

Me: Sorry , officer, I was not aware of that. Here's the papers.

So we have a 19 year old and a 22 year old, two long haired kids with Florida drivers licenses and a car with Iowa plates and we were soon ordered out of the car and it was searched and they found the beer. I was ordered into the back of the cop car. Greg was to follow in the El Camino. On the way to the station, it went like this:

Cop: So, how much did you have to drink tonight, boy?

Me: We each had one can of beer and a sandwich, six hours ago. You can see there are four unopened cans.

Cop: Well, boy, this here's a dry county, so that's why we are taking you in.

After a bit of intimidation, I was let go with a $35 fine and loss of the beer. I just know that as soon as it got cold again, it was gone.
2012-12-09 11:59:46 PM  
1 vote:

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I think when the county bank accounts run dry they will have a revelation from Jeebus that liquor revenue ain't so bad.


This--or, more properly, eventually tax revenue will drown out the SBC and neopentecostal whargarbl.

This is pretty much exactly what's happening in Kentucky now--Appalachia used to be a stronghold of Prohibition, but a lot of the counties and communities along I-75 and US25E have started going moist if not outright wet because they were haemorrhaging tax revenue to Jellico and (more importantly) many casual dining places were refusing to open franchises unless beer and alcohol sales were allowed. (I do know that the issue of restaurants demanding the ability to sell beer with a meal was a big part of why Corbin went wet.)

The big question is if this particular county is near any tourist or travel routes (in which case they may eventually go wet or moist) or if it's pretty much BFE, Alabama (in which case the SBC and neopente "temperance" lobbies may have better luck--and yes, temperance lobbies still very much exist in areas where prohibition still exists).

Another question is how Alabama's liquor laws are set up--if it's anything like Kentucky's (where a community can go moist or wet even if a county is dry, or if they have special exemptions for wineries and distilleries) that could well open things up to allowing the county to go wet. As amazing as it seems, most of the counties where distilleries operate in Kentucky were formerly wet--it was pretty much the introduction of the Kentucky Bourbon Trail as a major tourist attraction and the distilleries pointing out that they couldn't legally give out samples (even for educational purposes showing the process of bourbon maturation) that led to changes in the law and for those areas eventually to get distillery exemptions (and eventually for a lot of those counties to at least go moist if not fully wet).

IF the laws are like they are in KY (in that they give distillers' exemptions for local sales and sampling), an enterprising individual could get the $10,000 federal bond fee up and start a white-dog distillery (selling "moonshine", actually in this case "white dog" unaged corn whisky cut to 80-100 proof). :D
2012-12-09 11:54:05 PM  
1 vote:

suckerpunch: Why do you you always take take two Baptists fishing with you?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

/funny because it's true
//I know it's true because of the scowl my Baptist aunt made when I told her that joke


Growing up, I always thought my great aunt was an alcoholic because whoever was hosting a family gathering picked up a sixer of Miller High Life (I think) for her and she'd drink it constantly. I didn't find out until I was older that she was baptist, unlike the rest of us, and only drank when she was away from her community.
2012-12-09 11:24:52 PM  
1 vote:

edmo: That pretty well capture a lot about "family values." Talk a good story, do what you want, condemn others who do what they want.


Speaks to the home of the palest inbred FAS retards also being the cradle of white supremacy, really.
2012-12-09 11:15:40 PM  
1 vote:
The only time a Baptist won't try to save you is when you pass him in the liquor store aisle.
2012-12-09 10:59:09 PM  
1 vote:
Alabama has nothing on Kentucky.

Wet counties, dry counties, wet cities in dry counties, by the drink sales in 100 seat restaurants with 70% food revenue, by the drink sales in 50 seat restaurants with 70% food revenue, by the drink at golf courses, by the drink at qualified historic sites, and small farm wineries.

See the complete list warning pdf here warning pdf 

There's even some dry precincts in wet areas this document doesn't even attempt to show because the pdf is already 5 pages.
2012-12-09 10:52:46 PM  
1 vote:

Memes Ate My Balls: Roadtrip! We passed through a family values area on Sunday. We were a family but we had no values. "Why are you buying alcohol on the Lord's day," the shopkeeper asked my Uncle. "Why are you selling it," he replied.


They just passed Sunday sales here a few years ago. The main opposition was from liquor stores. "Why are you making me work on Sunday?" seemed to be their main complaint. Not that anyone was forcing them to work on Sunday, but you know they would lose sales if they didn't.

My favorite liquor store is run by a Chinese guy. He's open every day* until midnight (when the law says he has to close) and he is always there.

* State law requires liquor stores to close one day a year. I think it's New Years Day, but maybe it's Christmas. I can't remember. I remember him telling me he had 180 messages on his answering machine when he got in the day after that.

The guy is probably a billionaire by now.
2012-12-09 10:51:40 PM  
1 vote:

Demetrius: eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

I just set foot in Alabama for the first time in my life today. First thing I saw coming through the clouds were a couple of huge churches. I got to thinking that damn, I'm a Yankee, a heathen, and by their terms at least, a librul. I'm pretty much not going to talk down here.

To be fair, I haven't heard "Y'all are from around here, are ya?" or "Roll Tide!" yet. But I've only seen family. I've got a full day down here tomorrow before I have to go to a funeral on Tuesday. Right now I'm in the hotel, and there are no less than 15 different religious channels on the TV. I did manage to get beer tonight though.

Sure, the cost of living might be cheaper around here, but other than that I haven't seen a single compelling reason to spend any time here.


beer on sunday,thats better than Massachusetts
2012-12-09 10:40:11 PM  
1 vote:

IamAwake: Robots are Strong: They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.

Apparently you don't know that dancing is against the rules. In fact, most southern baptists would likely say it's worse than an occasional tiny drink of alcohol, if you pressed them and reminded them that Jesus drank.


Yes, the joke as I'd always heard it was...

"Why don't Southern Baptists make love standing up?

They're afraid someone may see them and think they're dancing."
2012-12-09 10:38:41 PM  
1 vote:

wildcardjack: I moved to Tyler, Tx for college and in one month there were three drunk driver incidents because people had to drive on 70mph roads in order to get to the county line liquor stores. If the county had been wet then they could have gone to a street corner.

I think it's the stores outside the county that spend the most on keeping a county dry.


There's a college in Tyler?

Clicks (pool hall/bar) in Tyler still owes me a party. I was there one night and dropped my business card into their fish bowl for a drawing. It was the only business card in their fish bowl. I haven't been back to claim my prize.

For those of you confused about there being a bar in a dry county, they are actually "clubs". Most "clubs" will give you a free membership just for walking in the door.
2012-12-09 10:36:05 PM  
1 vote:

zamboni: Man... there must be a lot of Baptists in that county!


76%, it looks like. One Catholic church too, damn. Wonder who screwed up and let the heathens in?
2012-12-09 10:33:43 PM  
1 vote:

Robots are Strong: They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.


Apparently you don't know that dancing is against the rules. In fact, most southern baptists would likely say it's worse than an occasional tiny drink of alcohol, if you pressed them and reminded them that Jesus drank.
2012-12-09 10:33:25 PM  
1 vote:

namatad: Alaska

State law allows each village to decide on restrictions, and some boroughs may prohibit it altogether.[57]
Three terms describing Alaskan Villages in common usage:
A "Dry Village" bans both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Wet Village" permits both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Damp Village" permits possession of alcohol but bans the sale of it..


HOW THE fark is possession illegal??
SHEESHHHHH
I hate these people.
I am SOOOO going to get arrested in one of these dumb fark villages and then sue them blind.


But it's legal to possess up to 4 ounces of pot in the privacy of your own home, so there's that.
2012-12-09 10:32:38 PM  
1 vote:
And I just saw on the news the other night that Weld County (in Colorado) is scrambling to make sure that marijuana won't be sold there.

There's also a lesson to be learned in my own town which is in the county next to Weld. In 2011, we voted to ban Medical Marijuana dispensaries. In 2012, we reversed that ban. Apparently the stoners are too lazy to vote unless the White House is in question.

Farking dumbasses.

Most people just don't seem to care. They think to themselves that they can get booze (or pot) so why bother taking the time to vote? Really? Do you realize how easy it is to vote? Apparently not.

I think I'm going to start a petition to make alcohol illegal here - just for the lulz (and to prove that it's too easy to put something on the ballot. FARK: I'll push to make it an Amendment to the state constituion - it's time someone trolled the system).
2012-12-09 10:25:08 PM  
1 vote:

PanicMan: eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

Yeah, I wish I could find some saving grace about Alabama, but there really isn't any. Huntsville is mostly tolerable. That's about it.


Aww he'll no. Huntsville sucks. Some of the people are ok but the whole damn town sits inside that bowl made by the mountains. It traps all the allergens and kills my sinuses.

Come on down to the coast. Orange Beach is where it's at.
2012-12-09 10:18:33 PM  
1 vote:
Allow me to shed light on the "Family values" scenario:

Not family values - Going out to a bar, getting hammered and nailing the 55 year old waitress that works there.

Family values - drinking booze that you made in your backyard with close freinds and family and nailing the woman that lives there.

/I meant your wife
//sick bastards
2012-12-09 10:09:00 PM  
1 vote:

atomic-age: Somacandra: There must be an exception for sacramental wine for both Catholics and Jews. There was in the Prohibition laws.

It's Clay County, AL. I'd be shocked if anyone is anything aside from about four flavors of Baptist.
/From Alabama
//Never moving back.


Same here. My parents still live in Bama and keep trying to get me to move back there - it's not happening. I'm happier living in Jersey (and I hate Jersey).
2012-12-09 10:07:55 PM  
1 vote:

BitwiseShift: Usually drinkers are more discrete in dry counties. Most days. Same thing for marijuana smokers -- more discrete in places that frown on marijuana. Serial killers really have the hardest time.


Yes, there are only a few counties that allow serial killers to work openly and without glares from the general populace.
2012-12-09 10:05:35 PM  
1 vote:
Usually drinkers are more discrete in dry counties. Most days. Same thing for marijuana smokers -- more discrete in places that frown on marijuana. Serial killers really have the hardest time.
2012-12-09 10:05:20 PM  
1 vote:

L.D. Ablo: Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.


You know........
1.bp.blogspot.com
.........Buttholes.
2012-12-09 10:00:45 PM  
1 vote:

doyner: Alabama has nothing on Arkansas in this regard.


Kentucky is so messed up it gets it's own page.
2012-12-09 09:58:47 PM  
1 vote:

revrendjim: I lived in a dry county in west Texas. You knew you reached the county line when there was a liquor store next to the highway in the middle of nowhere.


Yep, there are several dry counties in my area, and there's a "gas station" just outside the county line on every road, and an ABC Store on the main road. Inside each "gas station", they have wall-length beer coolers on at least two of the walls.
2012-12-09 09:58:33 PM  
1 vote:
Man... there must be a lot of Baptists in that county!
2012-12-09 09:49:58 PM  
1 vote:
Maybe the neighboring counties are sabotaging the vote so people will go there to get their liquor.
2012-12-09 09:47:52 PM  
1 vote:
I lived in a dry county in west Texas. You knew you reached the county line when there was a liquor store next to the highway in the middle of nowhere.
2012-12-09 09:45:07 PM  
1 vote:
There must be an exception for sacramental wine for both Catholics and Jews. There was in the Prohibition laws.
2012-12-09 09:44:28 PM  
1 vote:
2012-12-09 09:32:14 PM  
1 vote:
Bootleggers are still a thing?
2012-12-09 09:27:44 PM  
1 vote:
FTA: People like the Rev. Bruce Willis say it's unlikely the county will ever go wet. He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

So much awesome in that paragraph... Yipiee Ki Yay mothermoonshiners

<inigomontoya.jpg>
/ Family values do not work that way
 
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