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(Utah Daily Herald Extra)   Alabama's last dry county, where pretty much everyone drinks but keeps voting against it   (heraldextra.com) divider line 132
    More: Interesting, Alabama, dry county, Clay County, open secret, drinks  
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9785 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Dec 2012 at 9:46 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-09 10:32:38 PM  
And I just saw on the news the other night that Weld County (in Colorado) is scrambling to make sure that marijuana won't be sold there.

There's also a lesson to be learned in my own town which is in the county next to Weld. In 2011, we voted to ban Medical Marijuana dispensaries. In 2012, we reversed that ban. Apparently the stoners are too lazy to vote unless the White House is in question.

Farking dumbasses.

Most people just don't seem to care. They think to themselves that they can get booze (or pot) so why bother taking the time to vote? Really? Do you realize how easy it is to vote? Apparently not.

I think I'm going to start a petition to make alcohol illegal here - just for the lulz (and to prove that it's too easy to put something on the ballot. FARK: I'll push to make it an Amendment to the state constituion - it's time someone trolled the system).
 
2012-12-09 10:32:49 PM  

atomic-age: PanicMan: eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

Yeah, I wish I could find some saving grace about Alabama, but there really isn't any. Huntsville is mostly tolerable. That's about it.

Here's one:

http://www.materspizza.com/

If my husband loved me more, he'd have one of those pizzas shipped to me.


I've never been to that part of the state, so I'll take your word for it. I've spent a lot of time in Huntsville and Dothan. I could tell you stories.
 
2012-12-09 10:33:01 PM  

BitwiseShift: Usually drinkers are more discrete in dry counties. Most days. Same thing for marijuana smokers -- more discrete in places that frown on marijuana. Serial killers really have the hardest time.


It is not often that I think of the word "mellifluous" when reading a Fark thread, but this is one of those times...
 
2012-12-09 10:33:25 PM  

namatad: Alaska

State law allows each village to decide on restrictions, and some boroughs may prohibit it altogether.[57]
Three terms describing Alaskan Villages in common usage:
A "Dry Village" bans both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Wet Village" permits both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Damp Village" permits possession of alcohol but bans the sale of it..


HOW THE fark is possession illegal??
SHEESHHHHH
I hate these people.
I am SOOOO going to get arrested in one of these dumb fark villages and then sue them blind.


But it's legal to possess up to 4 ounces of pot in the privacy of your own home, so there's that.
 
2012-12-09 10:33:26 PM  
Although the 21st Amendment repealed the prohibition of alcohol on the federal level, that Amendment does allow for its prohibition by state or local laws. Some states after the repeal passed local option laws granting counties and municipalities, either by popular vote or ordinance, the ability to decide for themselves whether to allow alcohol.

WTF
how is this still possible?
of course, these counties would probably ... oh I just quit
never mind
just .
 
2012-12-09 10:33:43 PM  

Robots are Strong: They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.


Apparently you don't know that dancing is against the rules. In fact, most southern baptists would likely say it's worse than an occasional tiny drink of alcohol, if you pressed them and reminded them that Jesus drank.
 
2012-12-09 10:35:41 PM  
Worked with a lot of them, back in the day.

"Can we bring you something to drink?"

"WE DO NOT DRINK!"

"Sorry, didn't realize y'all get all the moisture you need from gravy."
 
2012-12-09 10:36:05 PM  

zamboni: Man... there must be a lot of Baptists in that county!


76%, it looks like. One Catholic church too, damn. Wonder who screwed up and let the heathens in?
 
2012-12-09 10:37:31 PM  

Gyrfalcon:
Translation: Anyone who tries to get the law changed gets his ass handed to him in the next election by his opponent conveniently running on a "family values" platform, knowing full well that NOBODY will vote against "family values" whatever the hell that means.

Not unlike anyone in California who tries to get the three-strikes law amended and then gets clobbered by whoever wants to win running on a "tough on crime" ticket. Because we can't be soft on crime, right?


SHHHHHH!, that's too much honesty for FARK
 
2012-12-09 10:38:30 PM  

zamboni: Man... there must be a lot of Baptists in that county!


It's like the old joke...

Why do you have to take two Baptists with you when you go fishing?

Because if you take just one, he'll drink all your beer.
 
2012-12-09 10:38:41 PM  

wildcardjack: I moved to Tyler, Tx for college and in one month there were three drunk driver incidents because people had to drive on 70mph roads in order to get to the county line liquor stores. If the county had been wet then they could have gone to a street corner.

I think it's the stores outside the county that spend the most on keeping a county dry.


There's a college in Tyler?

Clicks (pool hall/bar) in Tyler still owes me a party. I was there one night and dropped my business card into their fish bowl for a drawing. It was the only business card in their fish bowl. I haven't been back to claim my prize.

For those of you confused about there being a bar in a dry county, they are actually "clubs". Most "clubs" will give you a free membership just for walking in the door.
 
2012-12-09 10:38:56 PM  
Roadtrip! We passed through a family values area on Sunday. We were a family but we had no values. "Why are you buying alcohol on the Lord's day," the shopkeeper asked my Uncle. "Why are you selling it," he replied.
 
2012-12-09 10:40:11 PM  

IamAwake: Robots are Strong: They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.

Apparently you don't know that dancing is against the rules. In fact, most southern baptists would likely say it's worse than an occasional tiny drink of alcohol, if you pressed them and reminded them that Jesus drank.


Yes, the joke as I'd always heard it was...

"Why don't Southern Baptists make love standing up?

They're afraid someone may see them and think they're dancing."
 
2012-12-09 10:43:28 PM  

Tourney3p0: Anyone feel like linking to their crime and divorce and inbreeding rates? Family values and all.


FTFY
 
2012-12-09 10:44:45 PM  

quatchi: He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?


"now"?
 
2012-12-09 10:51:40 PM  

Demetrius: eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

I just set foot in Alabama for the first time in my life today. First thing I saw coming through the clouds were a couple of huge churches. I got to thinking that damn, I'm a Yankee, a heathen, and by their terms at least, a librul. I'm pretty much not going to talk down here.

To be fair, I haven't heard "Y'all are from around here, are ya?" or "Roll Tide!" yet. But I've only seen family. I've got a full day down here tomorrow before I have to go to a funeral on Tuesday. Right now I'm in the hotel, and there are no less than 15 different religious channels on the TV. I did manage to get beer tonight though.

Sure, the cost of living might be cheaper around here, but other than that I haven't seen a single compelling reason to spend any time here.


beer on sunday,thats better than Massachusetts
 
2012-12-09 10:52:46 PM  

Memes Ate My Balls: Roadtrip! We passed through a family values area on Sunday. We were a family but we had no values. "Why are you buying alcohol on the Lord's day," the shopkeeper asked my Uncle. "Why are you selling it," he replied.


They just passed Sunday sales here a few years ago. The main opposition was from liquor stores. "Why are you making me work on Sunday?" seemed to be their main complaint. Not that anyone was forcing them to work on Sunday, but you know they would lose sales if they didn't.

My favorite liquor store is run by a Chinese guy. He's open every day* until midnight (when the law says he has to close) and he is always there.

* State law requires liquor stores to close one day a year. I think it's New Years Day, but maybe it's Christmas. I can't remember. I remember him telling me he had 180 messages on his answering machine when he got in the day after that.

The guy is probably a billionaire by now.
 
2012-12-09 10:53:54 PM  

namatad: Alaska

State law allows each village to decide on restrictions, and some boroughs may prohibit it altogether.[57]
Three terms describing Alaskan Villages in common usage:
A "Dry Village" bans both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Wet Village" permits both the sale and possession of alcohol.
A "Damp Village" permits possession of alcohol but bans the sale of it..


HOW THE fark is possession illegal??
SHEESHHHHH
I hate these people.
I am SOOOO going to get arrested in one of these dumb fark villages and then sue them blind.


It's more to protect people from drinking themselves straight into the grave than to appease the Jebus. This state has a drinking problem so bad it's visible from space. For some of the native population, alcohol is literally all they have in life. They get suicidally drunk 24/7. I've heard of bootleggers getting $300 per fifth of Jack.
 
2012-12-09 10:58:16 PM  

Twitch Boy: It's more to protect people from drinking themselves straight into the grave than to appease the Jebus. This state has a drinking problem so bad it's visible from space. For some of the native population, alcohol is literally all they have in life. They get suicidally drunk 24/7. I've heard of bootleggers getting $300 per fifth of Jack.


It seems like they might be more useful if they didn't need to spend every cent on booze or drive drunk to the next county to get more.
 
2012-12-09 10:59:09 PM  
Alabama has nothing on Kentucky.

Wet counties, dry counties, wet cities in dry counties, by the drink sales in 100 seat restaurants with 70% food revenue, by the drink sales in 50 seat restaurants with 70% food revenue, by the drink at golf courses, by the drink at qualified historic sites, and small farm wineries.

See the complete list warning pdf here warning pdf 

There's even some dry precincts in wet areas this document doesn't even attempt to show because the pdf is already 5 pages.
 
2012-12-09 11:00:08 PM  
Legalize it, tax it, and regulate it!
 
2012-12-09 11:06:41 PM  

quatchi: IamAwake: Robots are Strong: They make love standing up so the lord thinks they're dancing.

Apparently you don't know that dancing is against the rules. In fact, most southern baptists would likely say it's worse than an occasional tiny drink of alcohol, if you pressed them and reminded them that Jesus drank.

Yes, the joke as I'd always heard it was...

"Why don't Southern Baptists make love standing up?

They're afraid someone may see them and think they're dancing."


Ha! Growing up in a town with more baptist churches than people, that sounds about right.

Mine was a line from Robin Williams Live on Broadway from about ten years ago, describing the church ladies that had volunteered as ushers for a show in Tennessee (If I'm remembering it correctly, it's been a long time since I've seen it).

//fark croquet!
 
2012-12-09 11:10:05 PM  

suckerpunch: Why do you you always take take two Baptists fishing with you?
Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.
/funny because it's true
//I know it's true because of the scowl my Baptist aunt made when I told her that joke


That's a Mormon joke too.
 
2012-12-09 11:15:40 PM  
The only time a Baptist won't try to save you is when you pass him in the liquor store aisle.
 
2012-12-09 11:15:51 PM  

Happy Hours: And I just saw on the news the other night that Weld County (in Colorado) is scrambling to make sure that marijuana won't be sold there.

There's also a lesson to be learned in my own town which is in the county next to Weld. In 2011, we voted to ban Medical Marijuana dispensaries. In 2012, we reversed that ban. Apparently the stoners are too lazy to vote unless the White House is in question.

Farking dumbasses.

Most people just don't seem to care. They think to themselves that they can get booze (or pot) so why bother taking the time to vote? Really? Do you realize how easy it is to vote? Apparently not.

I think I'm going to start a petition to make alcohol illegal here - just for the lulz (and to prove that it's too easy to put something on the ballot. FARK: I'll push to make it an Amendment to the state constituion - it's time someone trolled the system).


You in Larimer?
 
2012-12-09 11:17:58 PM  

Gyrfalcon: BitwiseShift: Usually drinkers are more discrete in dry counties. Most days. Same thing for marijuana smokers -- more discrete in places that frown on marijuana. Serial killers really have the hardest time.

Yes, there are only a few counties that allow serial killers to work openly and without glares from the general populace.


Thank god I live in Detroit. I wouldn't want to feel like a social outcast.

Hey, at least it's not drinking.

Alright, yes. It's drinking, too.
 
2012-12-09 11:24:52 PM  

edmo: That pretty well capture a lot about "family values." Talk a good story, do what you want, condemn others who do what they want.


Speaks to the home of the palest inbred FAS retards also being the cradle of white supremacy, really.
 
2012-12-09 11:26:04 PM  

wildcardjack: I moved to Tyler, Tx for college and in one month there were three drunk driver incidents because people had to drive on 70mph roads in order to get to the county line liquor stores. If the county had been wet then they could have gone to a street corner.

I think it's the stores outside the county that spend the most on keeping a county dry.


You are not even supposed to drink and drive iin the first place shiat head.
 
2012-12-09 11:39:49 PM  

12349876: Alabama has nothing on Kentucky.

Wet counties, dry counties, wet cities in dry counties, by the drink sales in 100 seat restaurants with 70% food revenue, by the drink sales in 50 seat restaurants with 70% food revenue, by the drink at golf courses, by the drink at qualified historic sites, and small farm wineries.


From California, liquor restrictions like that make me boggle. Still have some oddities around hard liquor, mixed drinks, it's a different license for restaurants to sell hard liquor so a lot of them don't, and good luck trying to open a new bar anywhere.

But you can usually buy pretty much anything at a super market Monday through Sunday.

Lutz: Sam Kinison talking about hiring a limo at 3am after a show specifically to clean out their liquor supply.
 
2012-12-09 11:47:34 PM  
oi50.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-09 11:52:42 PM  
Wayne Watts, the county commission chairman and a former police chief, says it's an open secret that you can buy it from bootleggers, too.

People like the Rev. Bruce Willis say it's unlikely the county will ever go wet. He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.


img.chan4chan.com
 
2012-12-09 11:54:05 PM  

suckerpunch: Why do you you always take take two Baptists fishing with you?

Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.

/funny because it's true
//I know it's true because of the scowl my Baptist aunt made when I told her that joke


Growing up, I always thought my great aunt was an alcoholic because whoever was hosting a family gathering picked up a sixer of Miller High Life (I think) for her and she'd drink it constantly. I didn't find out until I was older that she was baptist, unlike the rest of us, and only drank when she was away from her community.
 
2012-12-09 11:54:18 PM  

PanicMan: eraser8: Alabama is a horrible place.

It really is. I'm not joking.

Yeah, I wish I could find some saving grace about Alabama, but there really isn't any. Huntsville is mostly tolerable. That's about it.


I grew up in Birmingham, now live in Atlanta. It is like night and day. B'ham is not as bad as people say, but I would never go back. Well, not until warrant expires.
 
2012-12-09 11:56:56 PM  

atomic-age: You in Larimer?


Yup

Will you sign my petition to make alcohol illegal?

It would be kind of funny if it made it to the ballot. Not that I'm serious about it, but it would be more to make a point.

I just want to see all these people freak out about making alcohol illegal and repeating the failure of Prohibition - and then ask them what about cannabis?

Oh well, that's different, lol
 
2012-12-09 11:59:46 PM  

The Beatings Will Continue Until Morale Improves: I think when the county bank accounts run dry they will have a revelation from Jeebus that liquor revenue ain't so bad.


This--or, more properly, eventually tax revenue will drown out the SBC and neopentecostal whargarbl.

This is pretty much exactly what's happening in Kentucky now--Appalachia used to be a stronghold of Prohibition, but a lot of the counties and communities along I-75 and US25E have started going moist if not outright wet because they were haemorrhaging tax revenue to Jellico and (more importantly) many casual dining places were refusing to open franchises unless beer and alcohol sales were allowed. (I do know that the issue of restaurants demanding the ability to sell beer with a meal was a big part of why Corbin went wet.)

The big question is if this particular county is near any tourist or travel routes (in which case they may eventually go wet or moist) or if it's pretty much BFE, Alabama (in which case the SBC and neopente "temperance" lobbies may have better luck--and yes, temperance lobbies still very much exist in areas where prohibition still exists).

Another question is how Alabama's liquor laws are set up--if it's anything like Kentucky's (where a community can go moist or wet even if a county is dry, or if they have special exemptions for wineries and distilleries) that could well open things up to allowing the county to go wet. As amazing as it seems, most of the counties where distilleries operate in Kentucky were formerly wet--it was pretty much the introduction of the Kentucky Bourbon Trail as a major tourist attraction and the distilleries pointing out that they couldn't legally give out samples (even for educational purposes showing the process of bourbon maturation) that led to changes in the law and for those areas eventually to get distillery exemptions (and eventually for a lot of those counties to at least go moist if not fully wet).

IF the laws are like they are in KY (in that they give distillers' exemptions for local sales and sampling), an enterprising individual could get the $10,000 federal bond fee up and start a white-dog distillery (selling "moonshine", actually in this case "white dog" unaged corn whisky cut to 80-100 proof). :D
 
2012-12-10 12:18:09 AM  

jayhawk88: 76%, it looks like. One Catholic church too, damn. Wonder who screwed up and let the heathens in?


See, that's the thing. I checked--nearest synagogues are north of the county line, but the Catholics have to buy theirs somewhere--maybe they get it shipped from the diocese?
 
2012-12-10 12:22:25 AM  

gibbon1: From California, liquor restrictions like that make me boggle. Still have some oddities around hard liquor, mixed drinks, it's a different license for restaurants to sell hard liquor so a lot of them don't, and good luck trying to open a new bar anywhere.

But you can usually buy pretty much anything at a super market Monday through Sunday.


I was shocked when I first moved to California that I could buy a handle of rum at 1:55 am at nearly any convenience store in a major city. The prices were so low that I couldn't believe it.
 
2012-12-10 12:23:04 AM  
So "family values' == "hypocrites" ... Yes that matches my results.
 
2012-12-10 12:23:13 AM  

atomic-age: Somacandra: There must be an exception for sacramental wine for both Catholics and Jews. There was in the Prohibition laws.

It's Clay County, AL. I'd be shocked if anyone is anything aside from about four flavors of Baptist.
/From Alabama
//Never moving back.


Ah yes, the religious diversity of my home state. True story from a native Alabamian:
My cousin went to Auburn (don't worry; we forgave her) and was moving into a room with 3 other girls whom she hadn't met yet. She was the third to arrive on move-in day, but only one of her roomies was in at the moment she showed up. My cousin introduced herself, and to make conversation, she asked how things were going with the other person. Her roomie pulled her close and whispered conspiratorially, "Well, I'm Baptist and the other one's Methodist, but so far there haven't been any problems."

/CSB
 
2012-12-10 12:25:03 AM  

Somacandra: jayhawk88: 76%, it looks like. One Catholic church too, damn. Wonder who screwed up and let the heathens in?

See, that's the thing. I checked--nearest synagogues are north of the county line, but the Catholics have to buy theirs somewhere--maybe they get it shipped from the diocese?


Meh, I would hope guess they don't really need wine. If God is powerful enough to literally (according to Catholic faith) turn wine into the actual blood of Christ, seems like he could do the same with water, Caprisun or even battery acid. Divine magic is magic.
 
2012-12-10 12:28:14 AM  

TV's Vinnie: L.D. Ablo: Why, that is a traditional Republican value.

Publicly condemn something and then secretly enjoy it.

Just like their sex, government spending and how they pretend to be Christians while never reading the Bible.

You know........
[1.bp.blogspot.com image 320x134]
.........Buttholes.


It goes both ways Libtards. I'm not racist, honest! You people are sick!

"...honey, is that a black guy walking toward us? Cross here."

"You won't give me X service without more taxes? fark that, make the rich pay! My Liberal Arts degree doesn't buy me a living after my iMacs and daily Lattes!"
 
2012-12-10 12:39:14 AM  

doyner: Alabama has nothing on Arkansas in this regard.


It was nutty, I tell you. I lived a while in Lonoke County, which sucked if you dined in the county, because most restaurants sucked to begin with. Seriously needed beer or wine to offset the cuisine there (The Mean Pig BBQ was the awesome exception--when it was open--and beer there would have been so awesomer). Fortunately, I lived not too far from the Pulaski line, and there was a huge warehouse for alcohol just yards over the county line on US 67/167.
/So great being able to get Chimay Blue or GB Marzen 3 minutes from my place here in CA.
 
2012-12-10 12:49:11 AM  
DRTFA but in one of the articles about this, it said the AL Alocholic Beverage Board pays this county like $314k/year to be "dry" due to lost income from taxing alcohol. How about taking that away and see how they vote?
 
2012-12-10 12:49:54 AM  

davidphogan: gibbon1: From California, liquor restrictions like that make me boggle. Still have some oddities around hard liquor, mixed drinks, it's a different license for restaurants to sell hard liquor so a lot of them don't, and good luck trying to open a new bar anywhere.

But you can usually buy pretty much anything at a super market Monday through Sunday.

I was shocked when I first moved to California that I could buy a handle of rum at 1:55 am at nearly any convenience store in a major city. The prices were so low that I couldn't believe it.


Yeah California was a bit of culture shock when I went out there with all the convenience stores and drug stores selling hard liqueur. Texas was weird as well with drive-thru windows on liqueur stores in some places and some places dry counties.
 
2012-12-10 12:51:10 AM  
since when did this guy became a reverend?

portabletv-media.s3.amazonaws.com
 
2012-12-10 12:52:13 AM  

quatchi:

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?


There was a time when it wasn't?
 
2012-12-10 01:00:57 AM  

OooShiny: quatchi:

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?

There was a time when it wasn't?


I know moon shining is a family value at least with some of my relatives up on Sand Mountain.
 
2012-12-10 01:06:21 AM  

Fade2black: I'm not racist, honest!


If you have to say you're not racist, you are. Sorry, bro.
 
2012-12-10 01:07:44 AM  

pion: Fade2black: I'm not racist, honest!

If you have to say you're not racist, you are. Sorry, bro.


Bullshiat! Some of his best friends are white.
 
2012-12-10 01:13:01 AM  

quatchi: He says people won't vote for it in a rural area where family values are important.

Bootlegging is a family value in Alabama now?


Hell, they put it on a track and made a sport out of it.
 
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