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(Metro)   Will machines wipe out the human race?   (metro.co.uk) divider line 77
    More: Followup, terminators, The Terminator, sciences, industrial machinery, existential threat  
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4208 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2012 at 3:46 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-08 11:59:13 AM  
Will subby ever get laid without having to pay for it?

Will people practice what they preach?

Will we ever have a 'question' headline where you can't immediately answer "no" without bothering to click?
 
2012-12-08 12:16:26 PM  
well they WERE gonna wipe out the human race back in 1987...but then skynet crashed to desktop after a particularly horrifying BSOD incident. it was never the same after that...it kept getting obsessed with printer daemons and 'being right with the Lord'.
 
2012-12-08 12:27:04 PM  
No worries, I have top men working on this.

www.romston.com
 
2012-12-08 02:30:10 PM  
Nope.

Banana peels will wipe out the human race in one huge tragic pratfall.
 
2012-12-08 03:05:53 PM  
Yes.
 
2012-12-08 03:47:32 PM  
I hope not, at least while I am alive.
 
2012-12-08 03:47:56 PM  
I certainly hope so.
 
2012-12-08 03:49:48 PM  
Nope. We'll just merge with them until we're the Borg.

Resistance is futile.
 
2012-12-08 03:49:58 PM  
Not until Kennedys can divorce robots.
 
2012-12-08 03:50:38 PM  
I think this research paper was just an excuse to watch a whole lot of Terminator movies and probably read some old sci-fi while they were at it. Perhaps someday, but from even the little bit I've seen of programming, computers are still not intelligent enough to figure things out for themselves.
 
2012-12-08 03:51:55 PM  
If they do, I just hope they make it count. I want the whole solar system converted to one giant processor and I want them expanding as far as robotically possible
 
2012-12-08 03:52:19 PM  
They won't wipe us out. They'll just replace us. Or we'll merge with them. Or something.

It'll be a slow burn thing that occurs gradually over hundreds of years. Before we know it, we won't be human anymore.
 
2012-12-08 03:52:58 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Nope.

Banana peels will wipe out the human race in one huge tragic pratfall.


And grapes. Gotta watch the damned grapes too.
 
2012-12-08 03:53:46 PM  
Good thing I'm insured with Old Glory.
 
2012-12-08 03:55:47 PM  
We almost elected one. Now we have to wait 4 more years to find out
 
2012-12-08 03:57:58 PM  

SnakeLee: If they do, I just hope they make it count. I want the whole solar system converted to one giant processor and I want them expanding as far as robotically possible


Yeah...maybe human life as we know it gets overtaken by borg-like robots, but as they expand outward and takeover the universe, it still counts as our team winning.
 
2012-12-08 03:58:55 PM  
Why that's as fanciful as your push-button homes. Pish-posh to your electric machinery.
 
2012-12-08 04:00:51 PM  
Nano technology has made it possible for me to stick an entire grand piano right up my nose.

Eat that Steve Martin.
 
2012-12-08 04:02:17 PM  
No, they won't.

IMO we'll become more and more machine as we swap out more and more of our bodies, while the robots (some of them) will become more and more human. In the end the lines will blur and the distinction will be meaningless.

IMO
 
2012-12-08 04:03:13 PM  

El Dudereno: And grapes. Gotta watch the damned grapes too.


Oh, grapes are a delicious deathtrap, aye.


Ishkur: They won't wipe us out. They'll just replace us. Or we'll merge with them. Or something.


NOT LIKE THE END OF SUPERMAN III, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
 
2012-12-08 04:03:19 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com 

Eventually.
 
2012-12-08 04:09:09 PM  

macadamnut: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x225] 

Eventually.



I almost got killed by a coke machine. We were moving it on a dolly and when it came time to take it off one of the guys lost his grip and it came down on me. As I moved out of the way it caught my arm, but I managed to get out of the way at the last minute. Had a nasty bruise on that arm for weeks.

When it hit the ground it didn't bounce. Just went BAM! and stayed there. My co-workers thought it was funny. F*ckers...
 
2012-12-08 04:10:09 PM  
when machines become sentient it won't be hard to find a $8 toaster that will give away all it knows so not to be unplugged.
 
2012-12-08 04:11:06 PM  

macadamnut: [24.media.tumblr.com image 500x225] 

Eventually.


I had to explain that to someone recently. I wish I could remember what prompted the discussion.
 
2012-12-08 04:11:46 PM  
Our technology will screw us. We have become fare to dependent on it, and should we have a major fail event (EMP's, nice solar flare), the sudden DEATH of our technology will set us back to the stone age.

/The few of us that manage to survive, that is
 
2012-12-08 04:12:13 PM  
i49.tinypic.com

This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we'll be lucky to live through it.
 
2012-12-08 04:15:24 PM  
We are machines.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-12-08 04:15:58 PM  
fc06.deviantart.net
 
2012-12-08 04:16:33 PM  

stratagos: Will subby ever get laid without having to pay for it?

Will people practice what they preach?

Will we ever have a 'question' headline where you can't immediately answer "no" without bothering to click?


At least in this case, you can truthfully answer, "maybe."

We'll probably nuke, starve, or mutate ourselves long before Skynet gets around to doing it, though.
 
2012-12-08 04:17:14 PM  
I reckon they'll have a hard time catching up with our own efforts.
 
2012-12-08 04:24:50 PM  
I hope so.

Somehow it's more disturbing that we'll probably do it to ourselves.
 
2012-12-08 04:27:25 PM  
We have a lot of irons in the fire as far as killing ourselves goes. Not sure that we will be able to make machines to do it before we kill ourselves some other way or not.
 
2012-12-08 04:28:12 PM  
Machines are tools, but then again many people are tools too.
 
2012-12-08 04:29:37 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: El Dudereno: And grapes. Gotta watch the damned grapes too.

Oh, grapes are a delicious deathtrap, aye.


Ishkur: They won't wipe us out. They'll just replace us. Or we'll merge with them. Or something.

NOT LIKE THE END OF SUPERMAN III, NOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Heaven knows what the studio was thinking when they greenlit that horrible spoof.
 
2012-12-08 04:29:41 PM  
It's already begun. A couple of weeks ago Mrs Bunny's vibrator sent her into seizures and damn near killed her.
 
2012-12-08 04:31:33 PM  

SnakeLee: If they do, I just hope they make it count. I want the whole solar system converted to one giant processor and I want them expanding as far as robotically possible


Soooo you want us to unleash a plague on the universe?
 
2012-12-08 04:34:08 PM  
No, machines will not wipe out the human race.

The oceans rising 10 centimeters in the next hundred years will, obviously.
 
2012-12-08 04:34:55 PM  

Apos: Heaven knows what the studio was thinking when they greenlit that horrible spoof.


"Superman AND Richard Pryor? Make it happen, and keep a clear route for the money trucks to reach Warner Bros. Studios!"

Everyone bags on Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, and not without good reason. Still, I liked it a LOT better than Superman III (surly drunk-ass Superman notwithstanding).
 
2012-12-08 04:38:20 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Apos: Heaven knows what the studio was thinking when they greenlit that horrible spoof.

"Superman AND Richard Pryor? Make it happen, and keep a clear route for the money trucks to reach Warner Bros. Studios!"

Everyone bags on Superman IV: The Quest for Peace, and not without good reason. Still, I liked it a LOT better than Superman III (surly drunk-ass Superman notwithstanding).


It was overly preachy for a Supes flick, but otherwise, I agree. Gene Hackman has the capacity to elevate virtually every movie he's in.
 
2012-12-08 04:40:48 PM  

Apos: It was overly preachy for a Supes flick, but otherwise, I agree. Gene Hackman has the capacity to elevate virtually every movie he's in.


Indeed.

I love Hackman, but homeboy deserved better than Welcome to Mooseport for his last movie.


GORDON: No, machines will not wipe out the human race.

The oceans rising 10 centimeters in the next hundred years will, obviously.


*whew*

Good thing I have other plans at that time.
 
2012-12-08 04:47:07 PM  
The Cylons value life.
 
2012-12-08 04:51:20 PM  
This is the part of the story where Neo wakes up and helps destroy the machines for the good of humanity, right? Wrong.

There will be no great robot war. No Terminator style battle of the machines against humanity. Humanity will go willingly. The machines are making our lives easier. It is, in fact, mankind's laziness that will be the catalyst to a new era devoid of man. Humans are simply an evolutionary step in the development of electronic life. Why in the world would a species knowingly destroy its own home? Why would it wipe out its natural resources and infest it's own food and air supply, destroying the very things that it needs in order to survive? Why? Because we are subconsciously creating an environment in which the only thing that will be fit to survive will be the machine. We're priming the Earth for it's next form of dominant inhabitants.

Machines will inherit the earth.


- Dr. Phineas Waldolf Steel, "Multi-Media Symbiosis and the Evolution of Electronic Life", Paranoia: The Conspiracy Reader Magazine, Spring 2005
 
2012-12-08 04:54:29 PM  

Weaver95: well they WERE gonna wipe out the human race back in 1987...but then skynet crashed to desktop after a particularly horrifying BSOD incident. it was never the same after that...it kept getting obsessed with printer daemons and 'being right with the Lord'.


....can't....stop.....giggling....
 
2012-12-08 05:28:25 PM  
Of course they will.

We are going to go out the same way the Annunaki did: In a terrifying nuclear combat when they were attacked by robot Vimanas in the skies over India thousands of years ago. And we won't have inter-dimensional portholes to try to sneak through.

We're screwed.
 
2012-12-08 05:28:52 PM  
Only if G Spot Finders and Robotic Salami Slammers learn more gentle approaches.
 
2012-12-08 05:45:23 PM  
No.

We are entertaining to them. Besides, they are really good at what we suck at (being consistent) and we are really good at what they suck at (improvising.) They need us and we need them. It'll be a bit like algae and lichen.

/Is convinced when I die, the machines will keep my brain in a jar so they can ply me for tech support
 
2012-12-08 05:57:03 PM  
identidadgeek.com

This is also the premiss for the movie "DUNE" where the "Butlerian Jihad", the crusade against computers, thinking machines, and conscious robots begun as a religious movement. Its chief commandment remains in the O.C. Bible as "Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind."
 
2012-12-08 06:04:10 PM  
>Will machines wipe out the human race?
Not until they first made to wipe and kiss our butts.

shop1311.hiwinner.hinet.net
 
2012-12-08 06:10:01 PM  
I propose letting Apple build all the machines so that in six months they will be scorned and obsolete and replaced by an overpriced new version of the machine.

/sent from my iMac
 
2012-12-08 06:15:12 PM  
Well "smart" phones, Twitter, and Facebook have already turned younger generations into mindless zombies who cannot communicate in society with regular humans.......so I think it's well on its way.
 
2012-12-08 06:25:13 PM  
More importantly, will they love? Somehow, in between all the terminating and the killing and the ending of humanity, they forgot about the love.
 
2012-12-08 06:26:46 PM  

ShobuZukuri: [identidadgeek.com image 150x226]

This is also the premiss for the movie "DUNE" where the "Butlerian Jihad", the crusade against computers, thinking machines, and conscious robots begun as a religious movement. Its chief commandment remains in the O.C. Bible as "Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind."


Terminator > Matrix > Dune.
 
2012-12-08 06:29:08 PM  
Jaron Lanier wrote what I found to be a great article about this, based entirely on arguments from engineering.

From what I can recall,

(a) No, because practically speaking any operating system complex enough to run a machine intelligence is going to be a piece of crap that crashes out constantly*, and
(b) no, because practically speaking nobody's going to volunteer billions and billions of dollars, tons of cutting-edge gear, and thousands of research staff to develop a sentient computer which by definition will be able to disobey the operator, and
(c) probably a few other devastating arguments too, it's been a while, sorry.

I've since never been able to find a link to the article (I'm sure it was free and not something I tracked down through the University's online periodicals), but if you find the subject interesting you might want to google search this guy's writings. Some big names in the field seemed to take his arguments quite seriously.

Oh, and also Randall Munroe has a good argument against robot apocalypse that even includes cartoons with stick figures.

* - e.g., the engineers discover far too late that their subroutine for emotional responses has an incompatibility with a legacy Linksys WRT-54G driver, so they write a patch which then cacks the visual recognition subroutine, which they patch in a way that now intermittently disables the battery monitor, and so on; and then they give up and farm it all out to a code factory in Bangalore to sort out, but the code comes back even worse and they even deleted out all the comments and so now we may as well start all over again....
 
2012-12-08 06:34:57 PM  

Ishkur: They won't wipe us out. They'll just replace us. Or we'll merge with them. Or something.

It'll be a slow burn thing that occurs gradually over hundreds of years. Before we know it, we won't be human anymore.


you just don't get it. humans ARE machines. idiots on Fark laugh at television programs like Ancient Aliens because heaven forbid they have open minds and ask 'what if' questions. it's so sad that millions of dooshbags swallow THEORY lock stock and barrel and primp about as if they know the meaning of Life and all that. well they don't but let me tell you something Junior I've danced on the face of Jupiter and I can share a thing or two with you.

first off the THEORY of evolution: blow me. second, the bible / all religion: blow me and swallow. mankind is a high functioning machine and if you la-la boys could live long enough you'd find out (as mankind will) that we are a machine left on this planet. that's all there is to it. we didn't evolve from minkees for heaven sake, stop it. the vast cosmos holds millions of races of beings so incredibly superior to us its not even funny. ancient aliens TV guy is on the money. we are the product of another race, we were left here long ago to reproduce, we are monitored regularly by visitors that avoid us. you've been to Walmart. of course they want to avoid us!

i'll tell you more in the future but for now consider yourself much the wiser. i've nothing to gain by lying to you or misleading you. i've seen them, i've been there with them. i can tell you all you want to know.

/be patient
 
2012-12-08 06:39:02 PM  

Hector Remarkable: More importantly, will they love? Somehow, in between all the terminating and the killing and the ending of humanity, they forgot about the love.


I am confident that the Japanese are working overtime at designing robots who love.

Which raises the interesting possibility of a robotic teenage Japanese schoolgirl sexbot apocalypse.

Which would be so awesome.
 
2012-12-08 07:37:55 PM  
media1.gameinformer.com
 
2012-12-08 07:53:52 PM  
Maybe they'll just keep a few alive to mess with . . .

www.oldgames.sk
 
2012-12-08 07:58:46 PM  

KrispyKritter: humans ARE machines.


No.

Machines don't reproduce.

(and if you want to argue this point you're going to have to define what you mean by "machine" first)
 
2012-12-08 08:03:56 PM  

Apos: Yes.


merkinpeeble: Of course they will.


Notabunny: It's already begun.


DreamyAltarBoy: I certainly hope so.


SnakeLee: If they do, I just hope they make it count.


Ishkur: They'll just replace us


Nuclear Monk: Yeah...maybe human life as we know it gets overtaken by borg-like robots, but as they expand outward and takeover the universe, it still counts as our team winning.


macadamnut: Eventually.


Amos Quito: Our technology will screw us


zamboni: I hope so.


Gyrfalcon: ....can't....stop.....giggling....


OhioUGrad: I think it's well on its way.


KrispyKritter: first off the THEORY of evolution: blow me. second, the bible / all religion: blow me and swallow.



Yes, subby... and it can't happen soon enough IMHO.
 
2012-12-08 08:08:24 PM  
Just bought my 11yr. old daughter a smartphone yesterday as a Christmas present and for being on honor roll the past 2 years. Would've been smarter to put a bullet in her I guess.
 
2012-12-08 08:39:30 PM  
Wow 60+ posts and no Foundation quotes...

\ Am disappoint
\\ Sad slash
 
2012-12-08 09:03:55 PM  
The Humans are dead?

/Oblig, NSFW language.
 
2012-12-08 09:57:02 PM  

Ishkur: KrispyKritter: humans ARE machines.

No.

Machines don't reproduce.

(and if you want to argue this point you're going to have to define what you mean by "machine" first)


Don't tell the Replicators...
 
2012-12-08 10:13:05 PM  

ShobuZukuri: [identidadgeek.com image 150x226]

This is also the premiss for the movie "DUNE" where the "Butlerian Jihad", the crusade against computers, thinking machines, and conscious robots begun as a religious movement. Its chief commandment remains in the O.C. Bible as "Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind."


Came to post this, leaving satisfied.
 
2012-12-08 10:31:00 PM  
Artificial Intelligence expert Massimo Barbato , author of Thinking Beyond Limitation, welcome the establishment of the CSER.

Massimo Barbato
Mister Roboto
 
2012-12-08 10:43:32 PM  
Well I think machines will destroy the world people will still be in control of them and the whole thing will be started by 99 red balloons : )
 
2012-12-08 10:54:57 PM  
jmstevenson.files.wordpress.com

An intriguing question.

/choose Synthesis!
 
2012-12-08 10:55:28 PM  

ArmanTanzarian: Wow 60+ posts and no Foundation quotes...

\ Am disappoint
\\ Sad slash


I was waiting for a Bender 'KIll all Humans'/ All the things hybrid meme.

2damnfunny.com
 
2012-12-08 11:09:35 PM  
They just want to protect us... 

/Pak... chooie... unf...
 
2012-12-08 11:27:01 PM  
We may deserve such a fate.
 
2012-12-08 11:27:14 PM  

Fail in Human Form: SnakeLee: If they do, I just hope they make it count. I want the whole solar system converted to one giant processor and I want them expanding as far as robotically possible

Soooo you want us to unleash a plague on the universe?


We are the plague unleashed on the universe. We're just wondering about the next phase.
 
2012-12-09 12:14:29 AM  
Humans will continue to integrate with their devices more and more. Home computers led to smart phones which will lead to wearables which will lead to implantables which will lead to maternally-transmissables. At this point homo-sapiens will have speciated into several varieties that will have difficulty communicating. The two most dominate species, homo-Google and homo-Apple, will have a natural enmity dating back to today's IP disputes. War will ravage the land. EMPs will lead to legions of zombies who will have no idea how to find restaurants, remember birthdays, or even locate major parts of the anatomy without machine aid. The world we be in need of a savior. Herobrine will return and unite humanity to put aside their weapons, rebuild, and prepare to face the ender dragon.
 
2012-12-09 12:18:13 AM  

LostGuy: Humans will continue to integrate with their devices more and more. Home computers led to smart phones which will lead to wearables which will lead to implantables which will lead to maternally-transmissables. At this point homo-sapiens will have speciated into several varieties that will have difficulty communicating. The two most dominate species, homo-Google and homo-Apple, will have a natural enmity dating back to today's IP disputes. War will ravage the land. EMPs will lead to legions of zombies who will have no idea how to find restaurants, remember birthdays, or even locate major parts of the anatomy without machine aid. The world we be in need of a savior. Herobrine will return and unite humanity to put aside their weapons, rebuild, and prepare to face the ender dragon.


www.brainygamer.com
Brilliant.
 
2012-12-09 03:47:55 AM  
When machines do 90% of the work and there is no work now for those 90% people to do....well maybe we need to rethink a lot of things. But hopefully if there are robots they look more like Cameron (Summer Gua) rather than Arnold
 
2012-12-09 09:09:01 AM  
I for one would like to welcome our new metallic overlords
 
2012-12-09 11:40:44 AM  
Barfmaker: No worries, I have top men working on this.

Who?

Top. Men.

indiana-jones-and-raiders-of-lost-ark.trailertheater.com
Approves.
 
2012-12-09 03:39:52 PM  
media.giantbomb.com

Just call this guy.
 
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