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(Metro)   Planking was so yesterday. Milking was just about pouring milk on yourself. But porting, the act of pouring a bottle of port all over yourself could just be the most pointless Internet craze yet. Bonus: You waste a bottle of booze   (metro.co.uk) divider line 103
    More: Stupid, Durham University, Newcastle University, internet craze  
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5062 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2012 at 3:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-08 04:06:07 PM

foxyshadis: ladyfortuna: lordjupiter: The internet is out of ideas.

I've got an idea. Wait for someone to do this, and then set them on fire*. That'll take care of the problem pretty quickly.



*assuming port has enough alcohol to make it flammable, I don't actually know if this is true.

It does, but it evaporates very quickly when it's poured out like this. It might work if you offered them a smoke right away, while the volatile fume cloud is still building up around them.


Sorry to be the naysayer, but at roughly 20% abv, port isn't flammable....
 
2012-12-08 04:06:11 PM

foxyshadis: ladyfortuna: lordjupiter: The internet is out of ideas.

I've got an idea. Wait for someone to do this, and then set them on fire*. That'll take care of the problem pretty quickly.



*assuming port has enough alcohol to make it flammable, I don't actually know if this is true.

It does, but it evaporates very quickly when it's poured out like this. It might work if you offered them a smoke right away, while the volatile fume cloud is still building up around them.


I was thinking more like this:

i391.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-08 04:06:19 PM
I like the fact that idiots identify themselves publicly like this. It makes them so much easier to avoid.
 
2012-12-08 04:06:41 PM

kim jong-un: So, what is a decent port to drink?


Oh, you know, any ol' port in a storm.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...

... I'll go now.
 
2012-12-08 04:08:49 PM
Fun Fact for those about to get into port: Port will give you one of the most crippling, horrible, and reverse peristaltic hangovers you can possible have. Proceed at your own risk...
 
2012-12-08 04:10:12 PM
you know with all of these "trends" going on why don't these folks who want to be hip just escalate it to the next thing: gassing

NSFW and/or those with weak hearts or squeamish constitutions

I know totally different message there but you get the really gung ho idiots to do this, the gene pool gets cleaned a bit and we get to use the air they were wasting.

/Darwin wins, we win
 
2012-12-08 04:10:50 PM

breakfast_in_bedlam: Fun Fact for those about to get into port: Port will give you one of the most crippling, horrible, and reverse peristaltic hangovers you can possible have. Proceed at your own risk...


Haven't had that experience. What the heck are you drinking?
 
2012-12-08 04:18:28 PM

St_Francis_P: breakfast_in_bedlam: Fun Fact for those about to get into port: Port will give you one of the most crippling, horrible, and reverse peristaltic hangovers you can possible have. Proceed at your own risk...

Haven't had that experience. What the heck are you drinking?


I dunno, was years ago. Got drunk at a port tasing and the next day was hell. Whimpering and moving my forehead around the rim of the bowl in order to find a cold spot hell...

I sell wine and spirits and have a scary tolerance for booze. I can put away 1/2 a fifth of Bourbon and still confidently ride my motorcycle home, but that port knocked me the hell out.
 
2012-12-08 04:21:43 PM
Why not just use Kool-Aid. It's cheap and it could be called L-AIDing.

imgboot.com
 
2012-12-08 04:24:12 PM

Thrakkorzog: Why not just use Kool-Aid. It's cheap and it could be called L-AIDing.

[imgboot.com image 472x321]


[howaboutno.jpg]
 
2012-12-08 04:26:51 PM
You'd think they'd at least make it a portmanteau. Portmantling or something.
 
2012-12-08 04:27:06 PM

breakfast_in_bedlam: Thrakkorzog: Why not just use Kool-Aid. It's cheap and it could be called L-AIDing.

[imgboot.com image 472x321]

[howaboutno.jpg]


you're no fun anymore
 
2012-12-08 04:28:25 PM
Where's plank porting? Too dangerous for the snowflakes?

Come on let's start some real combo idiocy kids.
 
2012-12-08 04:28:44 PM

Morchella: You'd think they'd at least make it a portmanteau. Portmantling or something.


You're talking about modern college students. They're no longer expected to be clever.
 
2012-12-08 04:31:42 PM

kim jong-un: So, what is a decent port to drink?


Cancun.
 
2012-12-08 04:31:52 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Call me a pessimist, but I have great doubts about Liquid Nitrogening ever taking off.


Napalming didn't go over so well, either.
 
2012-12-08 04:33:31 PM

ArcadianRefugee: Napalming didn't go over so well, either.


It never does.
 
2012-12-08 04:42:09 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Call me a pessimist, but I have great doubts about Liquid Nitrogening ever taking off.


Some people still like it

blog.rottencotton.com
 
2012-12-08 04:46:30 PM

breakfast_in_bedlam: Sorry to be the naysayer, but at roughly 20% abv, port isn't flammable....


Well, it's not like we're lighting a bottle of port here. I was thinking about how flammable someone would be once it's poured on them.

Clothes probably make a bigger difference than the liquid, though.
 
2012-12-08 04:51:18 PM

mgshamster: Some people still like it

blog.rottencotton.com


Boris Grishenko would agree with you.
 
2012-12-08 05:00:12 PM
pluckychicken.files.wordpress.com
Blasphemy! 
 
2012-12-08 05:06:34 PM

Prank Call of Cthulhu: I'd like to start a rumor about the real hot new fad. It's called "contributing." You take a picture of yourself doing something that improves the human condition. It's awesome. All the cool kids are doing it. You should try it.

Go pick up litter, adopt a homeless animal, help an old lady cross the street, set a Republican on fire, help someone change a tire, rake your neighbor's leaves, run over a Westboro Baptist Church member, volunteer at a soup kitchen, plant some tulip bulbs, or something else that makes the world a better place, and take a photo of yourself doing it.


They're already doing it. As with most AW's, they are only doing it for a few minutes until the cameras are off.

cdn1.elitedaily.com
 
2012-12-08 05:12:28 PM

foxyshadis: breakfast_in_bedlam: Sorry to be the naysayer, but at roughly 20% abv, port isn't flammable....

Well, it's not like we're lighting a bottle of port here. I was thinking about how flammable someone would be once it's poured on them.

Clothes probably make a bigger difference than the liquid, though.


The port is more likely to put any fires out. 20% abv won't even stop port from freezing. You need roughly 32% abv to protect from freezing and about 50% abv for flammability.

/I know I'm being a bit of a prig here, but I sell booze so I know about this kind of crap so as to prevent people from freezing that which should not be frozen and keeping an open flame around that which should be treated gingerly around an open flame, etc...
 
2012-12-08 05:21:39 PM

breakfast_in_bedlam: foxyshadis: breakfast_in_bedlam: Sorry to be the naysayer, but at roughly 20% abv, port isn't flammable....

Well, it's not like we're lighting a bottle of port here. I was thinking about how flammable someone would be once it's poured on them.

Clothes probably make a bigger difference than the liquid, though.

The port is more likely to put any fires out. 20% abv won't even stop port from freezing. You need roughly 32% abv to protect from freezing and about 50% abv for flammability.

/I know I'm being a bit of a prig here, but I sell booze so I know about this kind of crap so as to prevent people from freezing that which should not be frozen and keeping an open flame around that which should be treated gingerly around an open flame, etc...


I now have you farkied as "the booze merchant"
 
2012-12-08 05:29:02 PM

D_Evans45: I think we all know, the only acceptable time to ever waste alcohol is if the bottle from which it falls is a 40 ounce container. It should be some of the finer varieties of malt liquor like Mickeys, or Olde English. It is however acceptable, in times of hardship, to pour out a cheaper swill like Magnum, or King Cobra.

[changethetopic.com image 164x308]


nubian, please...

cdn-ak.f.st-hatena.com
 
2012-12-08 05:38:43 PM
5 or 6 morons doing something once is all it takes to make an internet craze in England. It sounds so painfully dull over there.
 
2012-12-08 07:05:52 PM
Brits just take things too far...
 
2012-12-08 07:06:25 PM
www.tamarwhyte.com

Wanking.

It also helps African kids.
 
2012-12-08 07:07:02 PM
Dumbassing
 
2012-12-08 07:10:50 PM
Faith Hilling?
/took this long?
 
2012-12-08 07:38:13 PM
We need to just get right to the end of these trends. I propose 'Pooping'.

Basically, you just poop on somebody and take a picture of the process.
 
2012-12-08 07:40:42 PM
t.qkme.me
 
2012-12-08 07:46:28 PM

NaughtyByNurture: We need to just get right to the end of these trends. I propose 'Pooping'.

Basically, you just poop on somebody and take a picture of the process.


Been done. I think they call it "scat porn". I'm not looking that up either.
 
2012-12-08 08:02:16 PM
I think we should promote "FARKING" where you pour a bottle of Port (or other form of booze) down your throat.
 
2012-12-08 08:13:20 PM

kim jong-un: So, what is a decent port to drink?


Trentadue Chocolate Amore is not only very tasty, but pretty damn affordable. For another $10 you can get their Angelica, which is out of this world!
 
2012-12-08 08:36:14 PM
What's wrong with milking?

img3.visualizeus.com
 
2012-12-08 09:48:47 PM

kim jong-un: So, what is a decent port to drink?


You have to get the good and expensive port. You know, the ones that come in the gallon jugs for $3.99 vintage last Thursday.
 
2012-12-08 10:03:59 PM

mgshamster: breakfast_in_bedlam: foxyshadis: breakfast_in_bedlam:
I now have you farkied as "the booze merchant"


As do I, now.
 
2012-12-08 10:51:53 PM
Still better than leisure diving!
 
2012-12-08 10:53:35 PM

kim jong-un: So, what is a decent port to drink?


Taylor Fladgate 20 year old tawny port.
 
2012-12-08 11:26:48 PM

Mock26: kim jong-un: So, what is a decent port to drink?

Taylor Fladgate 20 year old tawny port.


That's what recommended, as well. It's probably my favorite.
 
2012-12-09 12:07:56 AM
Eh, its just wine. Ill save my outrage for when they start Single Malt Scotching.
 
2012-12-09 01:10:51 AM

kim jong-un: So, what is a decent port to drink?


Cockburns vintage tawny. Hey, I lived in Oporto for three months, so I should know.
 
2012-12-09 05:30:08 AM
Did no-one RTFA? It's a viral campaign for some random washing powder; the videos will be used to show how the shirts wash whiter than before. "We were approached by a high street washing powder brand,"
 
2012-12-09 09:41:47 AM
www.redbullusa.com

Copycats, It's been done before. At least use something nobody wants to drink.
 
2012-12-09 11:09:38 AM
oh long johnson
 
2012-12-09 12:19:28 PM
Milking?
carlosnightman.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-09 12:46:22 PM

St_Francis_P: By the looks of it, they're using ruby port. You don't want to drink that.


What the Sams hell are you talking about? Rent port is a fine after dinner/toasting drink.
 
2012-12-09 12:49:02 PM

kim jong-un: So, what is a decent port to drink?


I like Presidenial myself.
 
2012-12-09 01:03:25 PM

Im_Gumby: Milking?
[carlosnightman.files.wordpress.com image 850x505]



Is that from a movie, if so which one? After seeing this picture, I am compelled to know just what is going on in that picture.
 
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