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(Today)   Article about how to have great sex as parents written by someone who either isn't a parent, has only one child and/or can afford to not raise their own kids   (today.com) divider line 20
    More: Unlikely, intimate relationship, parents  
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9467 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2012 at 1:44 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-12-08 01:46:33 PM
4 votes:
How to have great sex with kids in the house:

1. Don't have kids
2. Don't let kids in the house
3. Have great sex whenever you like
2012-12-08 02:00:38 PM
3 votes:

willicus: My wife is 35 weeks pregnant with our first, so I'm looking forward to our sex lives going back to well below normal in a few weeks years.


There we go.
2012-12-08 01:47:40 PM
3 votes:

Gulper Eel: The elvers are at their grandparents' tonight and so my wife and I have the whole day to ourselves, but we can't remember how to get a kick out of this article...


The fact that you know what juvenile eels are called makes me a little bit happier about the human race.
2012-12-08 02:01:59 PM
2 votes:
graphics8.nytimes.com
Knows a way you can have great sex with kids.
2012-12-08 01:47:06 PM
2 votes:
What is this "sex" you speak of?
I asked my wife, and she didn't know.
2012-12-08 12:16:59 PM
2 votes:
I'm assuming go get some strange isn't in TFA
2012-12-08 09:18:04 PM
1 votes:
You know, I have 3 kids and am happily married. Having sex 2-3 times a day with wifey right now. Just last night we went at it from 1am to 2am. Yeah sure we had our "dry" spells going almost a month at times but no complaints here. Our secret is that we really love each other.
2012-12-08 08:50:51 PM
1 votes:
Sorry, Subtard, article is pretty spot-on. Prioritize sex over other things (e.g. planning birthday parties your kids won't even remember), prioritize your spouse's needs over your kids' whiny wants or social pressures. Sorry you're in an unhealthy marriage and/or obsessive relationship with your non-dominant hand instead of with a mature adult woman but those of us who have both kids and successful marriages are perfectly happy taking the attitudes the article suggests.

/if you make lots of noise while your newborn sleeps, she will sleep through crazy screaming orgasms later in life just fine

//"lots of noise" includes crazy screaming orgasms
2012-12-08 04:51:17 PM
1 votes:
As someone who had 2 hours worth of fantastic sex this morning..id be getting a kick out of these replies, except that im too mellow to give a fark :)

/has kids
//priorities: marriage first...kids are 2nd.
///stop being helicopter parents
2012-12-08 03:33:40 PM
1 votes:

Spaz-master: [sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net image 720x537]


1.bp.blogspot.com
2012-12-08 03:07:26 PM
1 votes:

eltejon: skullkrusher: willicus: My wife is 35 weeks pregnant with our first, so I'm looking forward to our sex lives going back to normal in a few weeks.

/What? Why is everybody laughing?

my wife's sex drive went into overtime when she was preggo. Now, not so much. Little Life Ruiners

/congrats and good luck!

Had that happy time with our first kid too. It contributed to my go ahead for number two. Sadly, that lightning didn't strike twice and insomnia put a big damper on the fun (1 1/2 times in 40 weeks). But with both kids, she has been very ok and willing to let me fulfill my lactation fetish.


That was way more than any of us needed to know.
2012-12-08 02:50:54 PM
1 votes:

whistleridge: 2. Don't let kids in the house


You know how some folks have outside dogs? Well, I'm thinking about having a yard kid. I'll build him a treehouse or something, leave food at the back door, and get him one of those large water coolers run from an extension cord out of the garage. No way that little bastard gets in the house.
2012-12-08 02:46:59 PM
1 votes:

megarian: I'm tired of doing all the work. Le sexy time would be vastly improved if I wasn't the only one putting in effort.

Kids + sex = too much work.

I think I need to get a pool boy. Might be suspicious... I don't have a pool.


If you're the girl and you are doing all the work that means that you are too bossy in bed.

Trust me : If you told you man to "take you any way you (he) sees fit" he could manage it.

Your preconceived notions of what married sex should be like is what killed your married sex.
2012-12-08 02:45:39 PM
1 votes:
Get divorced;

as far as I can tell, the happiest 'parents' I can see are those who get to dump their kids on their Ex and go on a farky-farky vacation with their BF or GF
2012-12-08 02:42:58 PM
1 votes:
Go to your room kids I'm going to fark your mother

/never fails to work
2012-12-08 02:06:34 PM
1 votes:

willicus: My wife is 35 weeks pregnant with our first, so I'm looking forward to our sex lives going back to normal in a few weeks.

/What? Why is everybody laughing?


my wife's sex drive went into overtime when she was preggo. Now, not so much. Little Life Ruiners

/congrats and good luck!
2012-12-08 02:05:32 PM
1 votes:
Occupy your children. Sneak away for sex. Sneak back in as if you were back in high school.
2012-12-08 02:04:26 PM
1 votes:
Oh, I remember those fun days of, "Put on 'Bob the Builder' and let's go upstairs for 15 minutes."

My kids are 13 and 11 now. So today, we just say, "if the door is locked, and you knock, we will beat you repeatedly".
2012-12-08 02:03:05 PM
1 votes:

pxlboy: whistleridge: How to have great sex with kids in the house:

1. Don't have kids
2. Don't let kids in the house
3. Have great sex whenever you like

This. Not having kids and the girlfriend doesn't, either. Win/win.


We should all start a club with a newsletter and t-shirts.
2012-12-08 01:52:28 PM
1 votes:
no kids, sex free for so long can't remember what it feels like.

/shoot me. just, please, shoot me now
 
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