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(Salon)   The one terrifying monster Stephen King sees in his nightmares and cannot confront? His mother-in-law   (salon.com) divider line 58
    More: Scary, mother-in-law  
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9246 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2012 at 12:09 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-08 11:57:11 AM
Nothing to see here. Carrie on.
 
2012-12-08 12:21:16 PM
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-12-08 12:21:26 PM
lampmonster.jpg
 
2012-12-08 12:22:06 PM
Dammit, El Loco!



/ literally lol'd when I refreshed!
 
2012-12-08 12:22:20 PM
The 'Proper Ending' monster ?
 
2012-12-08 12:23:28 PM
I like to think that Creep Show and Cat's Eye are the things that haunt Stephen King's nightmares the most.
 
2012-12-08 12:25:28 PM
Random unsettling Steven King moment: While walking my dog this morning a van passed by me slowly. In the corner of my eye I saw printed on the side: "The Soul Extractor". I took a few more steps before stopping, closing my eyes and thinking "please don't be what I think I just saw". I opened my eyes and turned to face the horror. "The Soil Extractor" - a carpet cleaning service.

I guess I won't be taking a ride to hell today.
 
2012-12-08 12:25:32 PM
I don't mind my mother in law. It's my father-in-law I'd like to drop into a shallow hole.
 
2012-12-08 12:27:32 PM

VegasVinnie: Random unsettling Steven King moment: While walking my dog this morning a van passed by me slowly. In the corner of my eye I saw printed on the side: "The Soul Extractor". I took a few more steps before stopping, closing my eyes and thinking "please don't be what I think I just saw". I opened my eyes and turned to face the horror. "The Soil Extractor" - a carpet cleaning service.

I guess I won't be taking a ride to hell today.


They never pick you up on the first pass. You saw what you were meant to see.

/Dog's gotta be walked in the evening, too, don't it?
//Wait--was that the van again?!
 
2012-12-08 12:30:14 PM
I misread that as Stephen Hawking and thought why would a guy who's mastered advanced maths and theoretical physics still fear his M-I-L? If there was one person who could literally go "pow, to the moon" with her, it would be a guy like Stephen Hawking.

/just use his connex at NASA and the ESA and get it done
//in space you can't hear your M-I-L nag
 
2012-12-08 12:33:38 PM
I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.
 
2012-12-08 12:37:15 PM
This does not surprise me. Horror stories exist on the edge of taboo and censorship. In movies like Carrie this made painfully obvious but an alert reader can spot trends as taboos fall or change.

Mother-in-laws were the subject of an enormous number of jokes in the 1950s but PC thinking killed them. This is probably connected to the rise of feminism. The old Male Chauvinist Pig thinking dominated comedy in the 1950s. A wartime generation still resisted women who wanted to remain in the workforce after the wartime effort was dropped like a stone and reaction set in. You could still laugh at ethnic jokes and other bad-taste gags because the rising Jewish comedians shared the concerns of earlier generations, and you could still laugh at mothers-in-law although it was increasingly unacceptable to laugh at blacks and Jews.

Great historical events (such as the Holocaust) as well as changes in what is considered taboo make for the rise of many types of jokes and their inevitable fall. For example, it is believed that elephant jokes replaced N-word jokes in the 1960s. This may seem far-fetched, but then look at all the Voodoo, Jungle Adventure and Zombie movies that were made in the 1930s and 1940s. America was exploring the edges of its views on African Americans. To this very day, the Reverend Pat Robertson believes that Haiti is being punished for a deal with the Devil. He obviously watched too many of those Zombie and Voodoo movies back in the 1930s and 1940s.

The Mother-in-Law joke is dead. Comedians now joke about masturbation or gay marriage. In fact, now that the mother-in-law joke is dead, horror is probably the only genre free enough to deal with anxieties and fears about mothers-in-law. Taboos are born as well as die.
 
2012-12-08 12:43:56 PM

OscarTamerz: I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.


Oh, I don't know. I think he writes them (with a bit of help from his wife), but he just doesn't write well anymore.

What was his last REALLY good book? Something from the early 90s?
 
2012-12-08 12:52:04 PM

OscarTamerz: I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.




So who writes his books--the descendants of Christopher Marlowe and Francis Bacon?
 
2012-12-08 12:59:23 PM
He doesn't like 1985 Dodge Caravans, either.
 
2012-12-08 01:09:59 PM
The Family Guy is, like its writers and like most people today, obsessed with the same pop culture references as the web and TV and ordinary people, but it also explores taboos in ways that underscore and sometimes parody the rules of the TV sitcom.

The dumbass dad is a long standing cliché of American humour. It goes back over two hundred years and has routes in the European comedy and popular entertainments. Dad is "fair game", wife and children less so.

The basic formula is as fixed as the mouse-cat-dog hierarchy of cartoons. Dad is fat and dumb, Mom is inexplicably hot and smart, but horny; the girl is either a slut or fugly; the boy is a mini-Dad, and the dog rules. Sort of.

I don't like the way the show treats Meg and Brian. It is over-done and it has basically ruined those characters. Too heavy-handed, clichéed and mean. I liked the older, less fey and more Evil Genius Stewie better. The character of the Alien on American Dad is similarly ruined, but the children are stronger characters. Roger is just too mean, too fey, and too stereotyped. As the animal foil (which dates back at least to Krazy Kat in the days when it was a mini-strip under the floorboards of the Dingbat Family), Roger is not a complete success and Brian has been damaged by mis-treatment.

I should be able to like these characters better since Brian is the Liberal foil to the Fox-Crazy conservatism of Peter and Roger is the foil to the dated Sitcom chauvinist and bigot of Stan. The formula overwhelms the writers' humour, wit and invention. This is one of the strengths and possible weaknesses of The Simpsons: the family members are so perfectly balanced the formula can come and go freely. There's so much perfection and balance that the art tends to disappear and some viewers just don't see it at all. This may contribute to their complaints of "repetition" and sameness. You don't get the disjunctions when everything flows smoothly and all of the characters are equally strong, all of the incongruities and contrasts between extreme childishness and wisdom, between idiocy and ignorance and remarkably intelligent university graduate references, and the other contrasting elements of a show where the children are at once urbane sophisticates and simple children, are equally acceptable.

When the dog or the cat on The Simpsons break out of the constraints of behaving like animals and do an anthropomorphic gag, it is done so slickly that you don't mind. In less competitent hands you would howl that the rules are being broken. In the cartoony-sitcomy world of Family Guy, American Dad, and the Cleveland Show, the animals are just a different kind of human and this is generally consistent. The gag occurs when Brian acts like a dog or the bears behave like wild animals but there is a constant reminder that this a cartoon and that it will break the rules of cartoons and realiism pretty willy-nilly.

The Simpsons is almost unique in the way it deals with frame-breaking. They seek a smoothness that annoys some fans of the old-timey roughness of art, characterization, writing, etc. Some people prefer the roughness of early cartoons to the neoteny, pedomorphism, and slickness of work in its prime, prefer the early pointy-nosed and rat-like Mickey to the three-year child Mickey of today.

Different jokes for different folks.

Personally, I have never been a big fan of Stephen King. He has something of the smaltzy nostalgia of Azimov without the same level of intelligence or wit. There's a theology under some of his work I don't care for--for example The Stand on TV seemed preachy and Mormonized, thus trite and annoying.

Carrie is a bit blunt and obvious but it is my favourite King movie. It is most purely psychological and least political (at least in the obvious and usual sense of "political"--everything about sex is political, of course, but Papa shouldn't preach).

King doesn't rise above the best-seller level of writing or thinking. He is genre, General Fiction, not Literature, not "serious" or better yet, non-serious, since "Serous Literature" is just above Best Seller and Pulp, and thus tends to be bland, middle-class and boring to those of us who like the good stuff, high-brow and low-brow alike. A lot of his stuff is the kind of thing I would scan through on fast-forward, looking for ideas and key plot-points rather than enjoying as a good read because it is flawed and can't hold my attention from page to page, let alone word to word, very often.
 
2012-12-08 01:12:52 PM

germ78: If there was one person who could literally go "pow, to the moon" with her, it would be a guy like Stephen Hawking.

/just use his connex at NASA and the ESA and get it done


Why go to the trouble of calling in favors when he could just hit the button labeled Extend That Good?
 
2012-12-08 01:15:29 PM
Too bad he didn't deliver this lecture at UMaine-Orono. Course, since they farked him a few years ago on the contract for his sports radio station (after donating shiatloads of $$ to UMO) I can't say as I blame him. Don't always agree with his politics or lifestyle but he's a generally friendly guy and a hell of a philanthropist for Eastern Maine.
 
2012-12-08 01:20:01 PM

maxx2112: lampmonster.jpg


I don't know if this is the lampmonster.jpg you meant, but it really is quite charming faux-naive or naive art:

http://s30.beta.photobucket.com/user/mrrium/media/lampmonster.jpg.htm l

Judging from the photos in the slideshow, the artist is a teen or twenty-something, which explains the repetition of lines (unnecessary emphasis for a child).
 
2012-12-08 01:22:55 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: OscarTamerz: I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.

Oh, I don't know. I think he writes them (with a bit of help from his wife), but he just doesn't write well anymore.

What was his last REALLY good book? Something from the early 90s?


I thought that Lisey's Story and Full Dark, No Stars were quite good, and they're fairly recent.
 
2012-12-08 01:23:31 PM

brantgoose: maxx2112: lampmonster.jpg

I don't know if this is the lampmonster.jpg you meant, but it really is quite charming faux-naive or naive art:

http://s30.beta.photobucket.com/user/mrrium/media/lampmonster.jpg.htm l

Judging from the photos in the slideshow, the artist is a teen or twenty-something, which explains the repetition of lines (unnecessary emphasis for a child).


that doesn't look scary at all. my computer looks like that half the time when i plug it in
 
2012-12-08 01:34:11 PM
Stephen King is also a "paralytic" arachnophobe. Spiders never make an appearance in his stories because the THOUGHT of them terrifies him.

R.L. Stine has the same extreme level of fear about the ocean.

H.P. Lovecraft was afraid of the dark.

Edgar Allen Poe's was birds. Seriously.

Poppy Z. Brite has one about fire.

Neil Gaiman's is... couldn't make this up if I tried... extra-spatial physics. The thought of endless reality.

/Giant SF/Horror geek.
 
2012-12-08 01:39:00 PM

Jedekai: Stephen King is also a "paralytic" arachnophobe. Spiders never make an appearance in his stories because the THOUGHT of them terrifies him.



The monster at the end if "It" is a spider as well as the smaller critters in "The MIst"
 
2012-12-08 01:46:22 PM

One Bad Apple: Jedekai: Stephen King is also a "paralytic" arachnophobe. Spiders never make an appearance in his stories because the THOUGHT of them terrifies him.



The monster at the end if "It" is a spider as well as the smaller critters in "The MIst"


Shot into my head after posting. Mea culpa.
 
2012-12-08 02:02:27 PM
My in-laws...
Minds as narrow as a razor blade is thick
Stubborn as mules
Racist. Constantly go on about how "the guys with the turbans" are bad and want to take over everything.
Fundie Christian.
Think saving money and never spending it is the ONLY way to live. In fact, MONEY them is everything. They live, breathe, eat and sleep money. FIL goes on about his wonderful "investments". Funny thing, though. He's not a millionaire. Hmmmmmm.
Constantly whine how everything costs so much without taking inflation into consideration
Think all music other than traditional church hymns is EVIL (won't play any music in the house or in the car!)
Just can't understand why anyone would need to buy anything on credit - in fact, CREDIT IS EEEEVIL!
Think sex is really evil dirty and disgusting and should not involve any sort of pleasure - its just for making kids
Drinking is bad
If you own a computer it will automatically steal your money from your bank account,even if you don't use any online commerce at all.
Constantly brag to us about their OTHER grand-kids, how great they are, while criticizing ours for wasting money on educations and not investing it.
THE 1940's WERE THE BEST TIME! EVERYONE WAS HONEST THEN. YOU GOT VALUE FOR YOUR MONEY, THEN!! IT WAS A WONDERFUL TIME TO BE ALIVE! (That little thing called World War 2 where some people died? Well, THEY didn't have to go! It was such a FUN time with Glenn Miller and all!)
Go on and on about their bowel and bladder habits, and their doctor appointments. 

I look forward to visiting them as much as a root canal.
 
2012-12-08 02:05:16 PM

Jedekai: Stephen King is also a "paralytic" arachnophobe. Spiders never make an appearance in his stories because the THOUGHT of them terrifies him.

R.L. Stine has the same extreme level of fear about the ocean.

H.P. Lovecraft was afraid of the dark.

Edgar Allen Poe's was birds. Seriously.

Poppy Z. Brite has one about fire.

Neil Gaiman's is... couldn't make this up if I tried... extra-spatial physics. The thought of endless reality.

/Giant SF/Horror geek.


Respect.

/mine is deep, cold, murky water
 
2012-12-08 02:24:18 PM
indarwinsshadow:

I don't mind my mother in law. It's my father-in-law I'd like to drop into a shallow hole.

The ex's dad is a great guy now but I'm glad he didn't raise me. The ex shows what happened when he did that: "adult child of alcoholic syndrome" is a bunch of hooey but it is a bad idea for crazy drunks to raise kids. Some people lose their talent and get all saccharine and spiritual when they dry out, like Stephen King, while others just get less dangerous and easier to put up with.
 
2012-12-08 02:24:50 PM
As someone whos been stuck living with his monster-in-law, im not getting a kick out of this, and I feel his pain.

Seriously, the woman is the most detestable human being on Earth.
 
2012-12-08 02:33:58 PM

BrainyBear: whizbangthedirtfarmer: OscarTamerz: I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.

Oh, I don't know. I think he writes them (with a bit of help from his wife), but he just doesn't write well anymore.

What was his last REALLY good book? Something from the early 90s?

I thought that Lisey's Story and Full Dark, No Stars were quite good, and they're fairly recent.


Agreed. Awesome novellas (novellae?)
 
2012-12-08 02:36:15 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Nothing to see here. Carrie on.


Yeah, I called this before he announced it

/male, married? Yeah, he is scared shiatless of his mother in law
 
2012-12-08 02:36:35 PM

Sultan Of Herf: As someone whos been stuck living with his monster-in-law, im not getting a kick out of this, and I feel his pain.

Seriously, the woman is the most detestable human being on Earth.


I (we) lived with my in-laws for about two years after moving down here, because that way Lordfortuna could save money and since we moved here for his job, I needed to not have extra expenses til I found a job (har-har, this area sucks). My MIL is all right but FIL can be a complete ass at times, for no more reason than he feels like being an ass. He's one of the main reasons we bought a house in town after I inherited enough money to be able to afford it. The others being broadband internet, and clean water. But getting away from his constant scrutiny was key. The night they let the furnace fire go out but didn't bother to tell me it was on purpose so they could clean it, and I built it back up, and then the water thing had a malfunction, he screamed at me like I've never been yelled at in my adult life.

Never again.
 
2012-12-08 02:37:38 PM
I don't mind my in-laws. It's my own family I dread. My mother is evil incarnate and drove my father to an early grave, my sister turned into a white-trash welfare fraud, and of my 3 brothers, 2 are racist, ignorant Teabaggers (one of whom is married to a Bible-thumping Fundie) & the third is a functional alcoholic. I'm the only one who owns a house, has a college degree, and has had any one job for more than 5 years. So, of course, I'm the black sheep.

Family gatherings are equal parts aggravating & miserable.
 
2012-12-08 02:37:41 PM
Sultan Of Herf:

As someone whos been stuck living with his monster-in-law, im not getting a kick out of this, and I feel his pain.

Seriously, the woman is the most detestable human being on Earth.


Is she cute?
 
2012-12-08 02:43:12 PM
Jedekai:

Stephen King is also a "paralytic" arachnophobe. Spiders never make an appearance in his stories because the THOUGHT of them terrifies him.

R.L. Stine has the same extreme level of fear about the ocean.

H.P. Lovecraft was afraid of the dark.
[...]


I have no such special fear. More's the pity.
 
2012-12-08 02:46:00 PM

One Bad Apple: Jedekai:

Stephen King is also a "paralytic" arachnophobe. Spiders never make an appearance in his stories because the THOUGHT of them terrifies him.

The monster at the end if "It" is a spider as well as the smaller critters in "The MIst"


Those aren't real spiders, they're terrible spider-like beasts from a hellish alternate reality. Their imaginary nature makes them tolerable.

A common house spider would make him poop his pants.
 
2012-12-08 02:49:13 PM

brantgoose: This does not surprise me. Horror stories exist on the edge of taboo and censorship. In movies like Carrie this made painfully obvious but an alert reader can spot trends as taboos fall or change.

Mother-in-laws were the subject of an enormous number of jokes in the 1950s but PC thinking killed them. This is probably connected to the rise of feminism. The old Male Chauvinist Pig thinking dominated comedy in the 1950s. A wartime generation still resisted women who wanted to remain in the workforce after the wartime effort was dropped like a stone and reaction set in. You could still laugh at ethnic jokes and other bad-taste gags because the rising Jewish comedians shared the concerns of earlier generations, and you could still laugh at mothers-in-law although it was increasingly unacceptable to laugh at blacks and Jews.

Great historical events (such as the Holocaust) as well as changes in what is considered taboo make for the rise of many types of jokes and their inevitable fall. For example, it is believed that elephant jokes replaced N-word jokes in the 1960s. This may seem far-fetched, but then look at all the Voodoo, Jungle Adventure and Zombie movies that were made in the 1930s and 1940s. America was exploring the edges of its views on African Americans. To this very day, the Reverend Pat Robertson believes that Haiti is being punished for a deal with the Devil. He obviously watched too many of those Zombie and Voodoo movies back in the 1930s and 1940s.

The Mother-in-Law joke is dead. Comedians now joke about masturbation or gay marriage. In fact, now that the mother-in-law joke is dead, horror is probably the only genre free enough to deal with anxieties and fears about mothers-in-law. Taboos are born as well as die.


there is a huge difference in who is a comedian these days too. while we'll always be stuck with stereotypical Jews in the entertainment industry we now have the entire rainbow spectrum in comedy. few women were in comedy in the 60s/70s, now broads telling the funny are very commonplace. not just white broads, there are sisters, chinks, gays, the whole nine yards. there is a huge amount of brothers doing the comedy - not so many in the 60s. and pretty much every background you can think of is well represented in comedy nowadays, even though some really suck they are pushed by networks to fill the token slot. overall it's probably best not to be the old school standard white male comedian these days. you're better off as anything but. considering how long America has been the melting pot, it sure has taken a long time for a lot of folks to finally get their shot at the spotlight. TV is still catering to no-talent white men for late night funny, which is so sad. Good grief, David Letterman? What a waste of time slot, year after year, he simply could not suck more than he does. Letterman & Leno are overpaid morons steadily interviewing whoever is in this weekends movie, book release or fresh crap CD drop. Sell that product, sell that item, thats all they have to offer and its a sin. Chelsea Handler has more talent than the slew of late night talk jerk-off boys combined and there she sits wasted on a dinky cable network. that is just pathetic. No talents like Jimmy Fallon and Jimmy Kimmel aren't qualified to change Chelsea's tampon yet they get the big money spotlight. Proof positive TV executives are simple minded dooshbags not fit for their posts who still like putting their tongue up white boy arse. Too bad Oprah doesn't wake the fark up and seize the opportunity Chelsea Handler is. Fresh blood in the form of actual talent in the late night arena is so farking overdue its not even funny.
 
2012-12-08 02:50:45 PM

brantgoose: This does not surprise me. Horror stories exist on the edge of taboo and censorship. In movies like Carrie this made painfully obvious but an alert reader can spot trends as taboos fall or change.

Mother-in-laws were the subject of an enormous number of jokes in the 1950s but PC thinking killed them. This is probably connected to the rise of feminism. The old Male Chauvinist Pig thinking dominated comedy in the 1950s. A wartime generation still resisted women who wanted to remain in the workforce after the wartime effort was dropped like a stone and reaction set in. You could still laugh at ethnic jokes and other bad-taste gags because the rising Jewish comedians shared the concerns of earlier generations, and you could still laugh at mothers-in-law although it was increasingly unacceptable to laugh at blacks and Jews.

Great historical events (such as the Holocaust) as well as changes in what is considered taboo make for the rise of many types of jokes and their inevitable fall. For example, it is believed that elephant jokes replaced N-word jokes in the 1960s. This may seem far-fetched, but then look at all the Voodoo, Jungle Adventure and Zombie movies that were made in the 1930s and 1940s. America was exploring the edges of its views on African Americans. To this very day, the Reverend Pat Robertson believes that Haiti is being punished for a deal with the Devil. He obviously watched too many of those Zombie and Voodoo movies back in the 1930s and 1940s.

The Mother-in-Law joke is dead. Comedians now joke about masturbation or gay marriage. In fact, now that the mother-in-law joke is dead, horror is probably the only genre free enough to deal with anxieties and fears about mothers-in-law. Taboos are born as well as die.


A Reasonable and Well-Written argument, on Fark! I bite my thumb at you sir!

/kidding
//interesting point... got me thinking
 
2012-12-08 03:01:15 PM

ladyfortuna: Sultan Of Herf: As someone whos been stuck living with his monster-in-law, im not getting a kick out of this, and I feel his pain.

Seriously, the woman is the most detestable human being on Earth.

I (we) lived with my in-laws for about two years after moving down here, because that way Lordfortuna could save money and since we moved here for his job, I needed to not have extra expenses til I found a job (har-har, this area sucks). My MIL is all right but FIL can be a complete ass at times, for no more reason than he feels like being an ass. He's one of the main reasons we bought a house in town after I inherited enough money to be able to afford it. The others being broadband internet, and clean water. But getting away from his constant scrutiny was key. The night they let the furnace fire go out but didn't bother to tell me it was on purpose so they could clean it, and I built it back up, and then the water thing had a malfunction, he screamed at me like I've never been yelled at in my adult life.

Never again.


Sounds familiar. MIL pumps our older boy (9 year old) for information on what we do, where we go, what we say, how much money we have/spend...well she did until we stopped discussing anything around him. We buy all the food, do all the cooking, yet she biatches endlessly about what we buy/cook. We pay all the utilities, yet she tries to dictate things like how long we shower, the AC temp, etc. From April until this coming Monday we have been living on my 18k/year income (MIL makes about 2x that)...she has terrible spending habits...loves fast food and home shopping network, then gets mad at us when we dont have enough money to buy her cigarettes when she goes broke several days before her next payday. She complains about cat hair, yet leaves a layer of skin flakes from scratching her psoriasis all over everything...floor, kitchen table, couch, bathroom sink & toilet, etc. She doesnt lift a finger to do any cleaning, but complains if the house isnt spotless. I could go on and on.

The new fun...shes mad that we are moving out in February...despite treating us like a burden. Shes so poor at managing her finances that she will have a lot of trouble without us here buying her own food and paying her bills. Mind you her mortgage and utilities and less than $1000 a month...yet she clears $2000 easily, after taxes. She is so addicted to fast food, and has run up her credit cards, and credit accounts like Fingerhut, Badcock (rent to own stuff) and other frivolous spending that she cant afford to pay living expenses that are less than 1/2 of her income.
 
2012-12-08 03:03:18 PM

John Buck 41: BrainyBear: whizbangthedirtfarmer: OscarTamerz: I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.

Oh, I don't know. I think he writes them (with a bit of help from his wife), but he just doesn't write well anymore.

What was his last REALLY good book? Something from the early 90s?

I thought that Lisey's Story and Full Dark, No Stars were quite good, and they're fairly recent.

Agreed. Awesome novellas (novellae?)


King excels at short fiction. His novels may be hit or miss -- although even the misses are a thousand times better than anything James Patterson puts his name on -- but his short stories and novellas really stick with you. (Well, they stick with me, anyway.)
 
2012-12-08 03:34:29 PM

whizbangthedirtfarmer: OscarTamerz: I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.

Oh, I don't know. I think he writes them (with a bit of help from his wife), but he just doesn't write well anymore.

What was his last REALLY good book? Something from the early 90s?


I thought 11/22/63 was rather good.

Jedekai: Stephen King is also a "paralytic" arachnophobe. Spiders never make an appearance in his stories because the THOUGHT of them terrifies him.

R.L. Stine has the same extreme level of fear about the ocean.

H.P. Lovecraft was afraid of the dark.

Edgar Allen Poe's was birds. Seriously.

Poppy Z. Brite has one about fire.

Neil Gaiman's is... couldn't make this up if I tried... extra-spatial physics. The thought of endless reality.

/Giant SF/Horror geek.


In the afterword in one of the later Dark Tower books he talks about a childhood experience in a barn that made him terrified of spiders. Also, in addition to It and The Mist, in the Dark Tower series both Mordred and the Crimson King are spider-like in form.
 
2012-12-08 03:54:30 PM

Canton: John Buck 41: BrainyBear: whizbangthedirtfarmer: OscarTamerz: I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.

Oh, I don't know. I think he writes them (with a bit of help from his wife), but he just doesn't write well anymore.

What was his last REALLY good book? Something from the early 90s?

I thought that Lisey's Story and Full Dark, No Stars were quite good, and they're fairly recent.

Agreed. Awesome novellas (novellae?)

King excels at short fiction. His novels may be hit or miss -- although even the misses are a thousand times better than anything James Patterson puts his name on -- but his short stories and novellas really stick with you. (Well, they stick with me, anyway.)


Other than FDNS the last thing he wrote that I liked was On Writing. Non-fiction, somewhat autobiographical. Much like Steve Earle, when he got sober he lost it (with the occasional exception).
 
2012-12-08 03:55:25 PM

John Buck 41: BrainyBear: whizbangthedirtfarmer: OscarTamerz: I don't believe he writes his own books any more than Patterson writes his crime novel of the week with coauthor X or Jim Davis writes the Garfield cartoon strip.

Oh, I don't know. I think he writes them (with a bit of help from his wife), but he just doesn't write well anymore.

What was his last REALLY good book? Something from the early 90s?

I thought that Lisey's Story and Full Dark, No Stars were quite good, and they're fairly recent.

Agreed. Awesome novellas (novellae?)


Agree on both counts. I enjoyed 4/5ths of Under the Dome. The ending was silly/bad, but the 1000 or so pages running up to it were excellent. The concept was great, execution was good. I can forgive the awful ending.
 
2012-12-08 03:58:04 PM
is that the "It" we've been hearing so much about? or is that STILL the stupid Segway??
 
2012-12-08 04:01:38 PM
Sultan, good for you for having a plan to get out. My situation was mostly just annoying at times, not constantly. Although, the six months when one of the SILs stayed there too due to home renovation (black mold, ewww) and another one due to death in the family was a trial. The six month one had a 1 year old, three cats, a great dane, and a chihuaha. Still I think it was probably less mentally painful than yours, since I could just hide in the computer room most of the time.

Just make sure your wife and kid know that you will not be helping her financially after you move out. You might even want to make it clear to the MIL when the time comes, in case she doesn't take hints.
 
2012-12-08 04:02:58 PM
And here I thought it would be the movie adaptations of Sleepwalkers, Maximum Overdrive or even Dreamcatcher. Huh.



In any case, the specter of the implacably evil MIL looms large in my mind-mostly due to Tex Avery's fantastic The House of Tomorrow cartoon.
 
2012-12-08 04:25:03 PM
Anyone have a MILILF?
 
2012-12-08 05:15:16 PM
Stephen King has always been a stronger short story writer. And his son has written some fine horror.
 
2012-12-08 06:33:49 PM

The English Major: Stephen King has always been a stronger short story writer. And his son has written some fine horror.


Strongly agree on the first part. I've yet to read any of his son's books, but I aim to rectify that soon.
 
2012-12-08 06:34:01 PM
Mother in law jokes. No further proof that $K is long past out of any worthwhile material.
 
2012-12-08 07:04:39 PM
I would like to have been in that audience, if for no other reason than to hear a successful and prolific writer talk about how he/she does things. Trouble is, the method works for them, but probably won't for anyone else. Still, I think it's interesting.

/believes that writing can be learned, but not taught 
//scratch out a living as a tech writer, but am so much more...hahaha!
 
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