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(NBC Washington)   In the most hipster possible vehicular confrontation, cyclist stabs Smart Car driver for cutting him off in traffic   (nbcwashington.com) divider line 67
    More: Strange, smart car, side mirrors, bike lock, bus drivers, motorists, traffic  
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5112 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2012 at 8:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-08 07:46:02 AM
Subby should have used the "Sad" tab for it not being the cyclist...
 
2012-12-08 07:57:36 AM
Now, if the Ambulance responding was a Hybrid, and the cop rolled to the scene on a Segway, the story will implode into a black hole of hipsterdom.
 
2012-12-08 08:25:44 AM

FirstNationalBastard: Now, if the Ambulance responding was a Hybrid, and the cop rolled to the scene on a Segway, the story will implode into a black hole of hipsterdom.


Especially if they used a Trader Joe's canvas bag as a tourniquet.
 
2012-12-08 08:28:00 AM
He could have been polite and simply splashed urine from his water bottler on the asshole driver.
 
JJR
2012-12-08 08:28:04 AM
Oh no, this is just like the farmers versus the ranchers of 100 years ago.
 
2012-12-08 08:31:15 AM
important for bike riders to observe the rules of the road? Yeah, good luck with that. Douchbags
 
2012-12-08 08:39:54 AM
A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.
 
2012-12-08 08:39:57 AM
JJR: Oh no, this is just like the black bean farmers versus the free range chicken ranchers of 100 years ago.

FTFY
 
2012-12-08 08:41:26 AM
Begun, the Hipster Wars have
 
2012-12-08 08:43:34 AM

beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.


sinclair knife card
It's the one I use at the office.
 
2012-12-08 08:47:41 AM
i.chzbgr.com
 
2012-12-08 08:54:40 AM
Lance Armstrong is doing ANYthing to stay in the public eye.... damn....
 
2012-12-08 08:55:07 AM

beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.


Actually, I knew about it before everyone else did.

/Off to eat some artisan shrimp that have been painstaking grilled on a vintage barbie that was crafted by peasant Asians leading a hardscrabble life, and was assembled using instructions printed on thin multiliguistal tomes that were precisely folded for proper inclusion.

//I'd invite you, but you probably don't know hot to appreciate food prepared on imported Chinese bamboo skewers.
 
2012-12-08 08:55:12 AM
"The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.
 
2012-12-08 08:56:15 AM

Ed Finnerty: FirstNationalBastard: Now, if the Ambulance responding was a Hybrid, and the cop rolled to the scene on a Segway, the story will implode into a black hole of hipsterdom.

Especially if they used a Trader Joe's canvas bag as a tourniquet.


No need for a canvas bag, they had two white belts available for a tourniquet.
 
2012-12-08 08:58:18 AM
I"m going with repurposed railroad spike.
 
2012-12-08 09:00:24 AM
That's what you get for not allowing CCW.
 
2012-12-08 09:01:34 AM
You really shouldn't cut off larger vehicles than yourself, I mean that cycle could have crushed that smart like a beer can
 
2012-12-08 09:05:23 AM
yet another reason why cyclists who ride on public roads should be required to register their vehicles. with a license plate on his bike, it would be much easier to track this guy down.
 
2012-12-08 09:07:07 AM
Oh wait, wait ... I am great at this hipster stuff.

Here, watch this obscure new dance I've learned called "Gangnam Style"!
 
2012-12-08 09:25:07 AM
The weapon was a hair stick.
 
2012-12-08 09:28:05 AM
Cyclist should be facing attempted murder charges, but as we all know from Fark hipsters, cyclists can do no wrong.
 
2012-12-08 09:38:59 AM
My list of things I don't understand about the USA:

No. 719: Attitudes towards bicyclists.

/DNRTFA, no idea who's to blame in this specific case.
 
2012-12-08 09:40:48 AM

Haerski: My list of things I don't understand about the USA:

No. 719: Attitudes towards bicyclists.

/DNRTFA, no idea who's to blame in this specific case.


Have you ever actually met a bicyclist?
 
2012-12-08 09:47:23 AM
Is this the thread where all the shiatty drivers that never use their turn-signals, talk on their stupid farking phones, text and act like general idiots while piloting around a ton of steel and plastic come to whine about bikes?


/Why, yes it is.
// 50,000 deaths a year. How many caused by bikes?
 
2012-12-08 09:48:04 AM
This is why you never get out of the cage. You just run the farker down.

"He smashed my mirror off with a bike lock and was hurling obscenities officer. I was in fear for my life. He was following me and if I had stopped or attempted to leave my vehicle I would have been attacked like he attacked my car. I had no choice but to run him over repeatedly and them park my front wheel on his head."
 
2012-12-08 09:59:04 AM

Haerski: My list of things I don't understand about the USA:

No. 719: Attitudes towards bicyclists.

/DNRTFA, no idea who's to blame in this specific case.


Because there enough bicyclists in the U.S. that act like assholes.

But this isn't unique to the U.S. Go to Berlin Germany and observe how the bicyclists there act like jerks as well. Bicyclists annoy me because they are too scared to share the road with cars, but then they ride the sidewalks and treat pedestrians as badly as any driver would treat a bike rider.
 
2012-12-08 10:07:08 AM

fluffy2097: This is why you never get out of the cage. You just run the farker down.

"He smashed my mirror off with a bike lock and was hurling obscenities officer. I was in fear for my life. He was following me and if I had stopped or attempted to leave my vehicle I would have been attacked like he attacked my car. I had no choice but to run him over repeatedly and them park my front wheel on his head."


This. One party is in a half-ton self-propelled steel cage. The other is in neon spandex. I once had a cyclist kick my fender for not yielding to him as he ran a red light to make a left turn. Unfortunately for him, moments later a dog ran out in front of me causing me to swerve towards him. He ended up eating shiat.

Damn dogs.
 
2012-12-08 10:12:03 AM

beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.


Mick Dundee
 
2012-12-08 10:16:34 AM

abhorrent1: important for bike riders to observe the rules of the road? Yeah, good luck with that. Douchbags


For every douchebag cyclist, there is at least one douchebag motorist. You know this, man. So stop pretending like it's just bicyclists who are assholes.

/does not ride a bicycle
//does ride a motorcycle, so I get annoyed with both of you
 
2012-12-08 10:17:35 AM

flyinglizard: beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.

Mick Dundee


YAY U R WINNAR!!!
 
2012-12-08 10:19:01 AM

flyinglizard: beta_plus: A Knife?
You call that a Knife?
This is a knife, it's really obscure, you've probably never heard of it.

Mick Dundee


No no - it was Alligator Dundee! I remember because I saw it before everyone else.
 
2012-12-08 10:48:12 AM

FlippityFlap: Is this the thread where all the shiatty drivers that never use their turn-signals, talk on their stupid farking phones, text and act like general idiots while piloting around a ton of steel and plastic come to whine about bikes?


/Why, yes it is.
// 50,000 deaths a year. How many caused by bikes?



No, it's the thread about a bicyclist stabbing someone that complete jackasses drop into to praise bicyclists. Hard to believe, right?
 
2012-12-08 10:52:46 AM
we'll buy a NEW car. with an unbreakable side mirror!

deadhomersociety.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-08 10:53:37 AM

dickfreckle: abhorrent1: important for bike riders to observe the rules of the road? Yeah, good luck with that. Douchbags

For every douchebag cyclist, there is at least one douchebag motorist. You know this, man. So stop pretending like it's just bicyclists who are assholes.

/does not ride a bicycle
//does ride a motorcycle, so I get annoyed with both of you


I'd say it's a much higher ratio than that. I bike to work every day and have seen plenty of asshole bikers who completely ignore the rules of the road but I've seen many more asshole drivers. I've been cut off more times than I can count, yelled at and even hit by one guy and I've been doing this less than a year. Every time I roll through a green light my entire body is tensed because I'm fully aware that the fact that I have the right of way is no guarantee that someone will not pull out in front of me. I personally know two people that were killed doing nothing different than what I do every day. I've had people look directly at me then pull out in front of me requiring me to slam on my brakes to avoid hitting them. The one time I was hit I was cruising down the sidewalk, slowly, I saw a car up ahead getting ready to pull out, I figured he saw me since there were no cars coming and he wasn't moving, I was wrong. Right at the moment I got within about 2 feet from him he went. My bike flipped over but fortunately I was able to land on my feet. He never apologized, never even acknowledged my presence. Just kept his hands on the wheels and his eyes straight ahead as I picked myself up.
 
2012-12-08 11:09:03 AM
Remember folks, the right of way is given, not taken.
 
2012-12-08 11:25:23 AM

Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.


If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.
 
2012-12-08 11:52:53 AM

The_Original_Roxtar: yet another reason why cyclists who ride on public roads should be required to register their vehicles. with a license plate on his bike, it would be much easier to track this guy down.


This! And a insurance policy that covers the damage they cause to vehicles and pedestrians. Also medical so that the taxpayers wont be paying for their hospital stay after they run one stop light too many.
 
2012-12-08 11:53:00 AM

AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.


So that means every time I'm walking along and I get knocked aside as a bike messenger hops from the bike lane up on to the sidewalk and back again, I have carte blanch to stab 'em? Good to know, thanks for the info.
 
2012-12-08 12:09:05 PM

Enemabag Jones: He could have been polite and simply splashed urine from his water bottler on the asshole driver.


Don't drink out of the yellow water bottle eh? All my cages are taken; one for water, one for the air horns vessel, and one for the coffee mug.
 
2012-12-08 12:12:04 PM

The_Original_Roxtar: yet another reason why cyclists who ride on public roads should be required to register their vehicles. with a license plate on his bike, it would be much easier to track this guy down.


Good luck with that.

/ Research San Diego's experiment in that sometime.
// Hint - it's more trouble than it is worth - literally.
 
2012-12-08 12:12:49 PM

Haerski: My list of things I don't understand about the USA:

No. 719: Attitudes towards bicyclists.

/DNRTFA, no idea who's to blame in this specific case.


If you actually use your muscles to transport yourself, you're scum. Real Americans use imported dino juice in order to keep their girthy frames at the proper tonnage.
 
2012-12-08 12:13:42 PM
Where's the ironic tag?
 
2012-12-08 12:16:36 PM

Cupajo: AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.

So that means every time I'm walking along and I get knocked aside as a bike messenger hops from the bike lane up on to the sidewalk and back again, I have carte blanch to stab 'em? Good to know, thanks for the info.


Stab away, my stabby friend!
 
2012-12-08 12:20:48 PM

Frankenstorm: Where's the ironic tag?


Yeah. Where's the IRONY!?!?
 
2012-12-08 12:21:41 PM

AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.

So that means every time I'm walking along and I get knocked aside as a bike messenger hops from the bike lane up on to the sidewalk and back again, I have carte blanch to stab 'em? Good to know, thanks for the info.

Stab away, my stabby friend!


suh-weeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
 
2012-12-08 12:37:30 PM
There's really one one correct solution to this sort of he said/she said, driver vs bicyclist situation.

Shoot the bicyclist in the head on the side of the road.

Then shoot 10 more bicyclists, at random, as a warning to others.
 
2012-12-08 12:39:05 PM
Some cyclists are jerks. Some drivers are jerks. IMHO most drivers are ignorant and unaware about cyclists and pedestrians. When I'm out running I'm constantly being cut off and threatened by asshat drivers who aren't looking where they are going.

Cyclists get way too much hate IMHO.
 
2012-12-08 01:26:01 PM

Cupajo: AcneVulgaris: Cupajo: "The time change is just an important time for everybody to take a few extra minutes, take your time, look around, and make sure that if you're crossing bike lanes or crosswalks you're looking for everybody," Billing said. "Everybody's just trying to get home safe."

Seems to me like the article is placing blame on the guy who got stabbed.

If he hadn't farked up, he wouldn't have got stabbed.

So that means every time I'm walking along and I get knocked aside as a bike messenger hops from the bike lane up on to the sidewalk and back again, I have carte blanch to stab 'em? Good to know, thanks for the info.


I'm sure he will be moving too fast for you to stab him. You will need to shoot him in the back. If that knocks him off his bike then you can stab him.
 
2012-12-08 01:26:43 PM
The "bike lock vs sideview mirror" thing is straight out of that shiatty premium rush movie.

/cyclist
//anyone who derides environmentally friendly, low cost transportation is obviously stupid.
 
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