If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Mother Nature Network)   How to use up what's left in your liquor cabinet. WAIT, THERE'S STILL SOME BOOZE IN THERE?   (mnn.com) divider line 85
    More: Interesting, broadcast delay, martini glass  
•       •       •

5468 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2012 at 11:30 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-12-07 07:36:10 PM  
obligatory
i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-12-07 07:57:29 PM  
According to the website they reference, vermouth, ice, and Aftershock results in this:

No drinks can be made from the 3 ingredients you have.

So I guess I'm NOT using what's in the liquor cabinet, subby. Neither the wife nor I can figure out how long the Aftershock has been there, and I don't drink anymore. It's quite possible that bottle has been following us around for 20 years.
 
2012-12-07 08:07:56 PM  
Wow what a stupid article.

"You can use recipes to consume items in your home"


Though I suppose given that most people who read MNN are wholly incapable of thinking for themselves they would need to have these things pointed out to them.

I swear to farking god one of these days I'm going to click on a MNN link and it's going to be "Putting your pants on in the morning is easy! We'll show you how in this wordy article"
 
2012-12-07 08:10:08 PM  
You haven't lived until you've finished off a night with vermouth on the rocks.
 
2012-12-07 08:11:51 PM  
Man, I wish I knew what to do with the groceries I just bought. This sucks. I guess I should just throw it all in the garbage. If only they had done this for food.
 
Pud
2012-12-07 08:21:18 PM  
I think there's still some "stuff" in my medicine cabinet that expired in 1998. Good to know I can still put it to some good use. 

/Or does this only apply to 20 yr. old cheap liqueur?
 
2012-12-07 08:29:58 PM  

PainInTheASP: You haven't lived until you've finished off a night with vermouth on the rocks.


I found vermouth so nasty back in the day I just told bartenders to quit putting it in a martini and give me gin in a martini glass. My college roommate was a bartender and he had a spray bottle with vermouth in it so he could "offer the essence" of vermouth, or some such nonsense, but it didn't matter. Even extra dry, extra expensive vermouth never tasted right to me.

That's probably why vermouth is always that old bottle you see in every home bar - no one wants it.
 
2012-12-07 08:31:36 PM  
At least I deplete my liquor supply.

My freezer is filled with food that I continue to buy, but that I'll never actually defrost and actually eat. I'm in a seemingly endless cycle of buying meat, putting it in my freezer and throwing it out so I'll have room for more meat that I'll eventually throw out.
 
2012-12-07 08:45:30 PM  
Please, you've never been on a really GOOD bender until you have emptied the mystery bottles in your liquor cabinet because you are too drunk to drive for more and the stores are all closed anyway.
 
2012-12-07 08:48:50 PM  

eraser8: At least I deplete my liquor supply.

My freezer is filled with food that I continue to buy, but that I'll never actually defrost and actually eat. I'm in a seemingly endless cycle of buying meat, putting it in my freezer and throwing it out so I'll have room for more meat that I'll eventually throw out.


Do the lazy man's cooking: boil that shiat at 20 minutes a pound and then cook it regular. You won't get anything close to perfect meat, but it's extremely low effort and the outside won't get seared until you want it to.
 
2012-12-07 09:12:46 PM  
flamingmoe.jpg
 
2012-12-07 09:15:18 PM  

Lsherm: That's probably why vermouth is always that old bottle you see in every home bar - no one wants it.


Because everyone treats it like a liquor and not a fortified wine.
 
2012-12-07 09:20:48 PM  

Lsherm: I found vermouth so nasty back in the day I just told bartenders to quit putting it in a martini and give me gin in a martini glass.


Ewwwww.
 
2012-12-07 09:46:23 PM  

fiver5: Wow what a stupid article.

"You can use recipes to consume items in your home"


Though I suppose given that most people who read MNN are wholly incapable of thinking for themselves they would need to have these things pointed out to them.

I swear to farking god one of these days I'm going to click on a MNN link and it's going to be "Putting your pants on in the morning is easy! We'll show you how in this wordy article"


Now if only they had suggestions for how to use alcohol that is going to take a decade to drink... I like a variety of alcohols and bought a bunch back when I was in undergrad and drank (occasionally, but much more than I do now), and still have a good portion and then some. I've had maybe 4 drinks since grad school started 4 months ago, and maybe 8-10 all year.

/Anybody have any ideas for cooking with crazy flavored alcohols?
 
2012-12-07 10:06:36 PM  

doglover: Lsherm: I found vermouth so nasty back in the day I just told bartenders to quit putting it in a martini and give me gin in a martini glass.

Ewwwww.


I asked for olives!
 
2012-12-07 10:09:02 PM  

Lsherm: doglover: Lsherm: I found vermouth so nasty back in the day I just told bartenders to quit putting it in a martini and give me gin in a martini glass.

Ewwwww.

I asked for olives!


That's why ewwww.

Gin is acceptable neat, or even on the rocks, but without the vermouth the olive will ruin it.
 
2012-12-07 10:11:26 PM  
Jesus you farking vermouth haters!

Here is the recipe for a perfect Manhattan:

Chilled Large Martini Glass
about a shot of maraschino cherry syrup
3 shots of jack
2 shots of dry vermouth
1 shot of sweet vermouth

Stir to perfection

Remember - 3,2,1
 
2012-12-07 10:17:03 PM  

Mangoose: Lsherm: That's probably why vermouth is always that old bottle you see in every home bar - no one wants it.

Because everyone treats it like a liquor and not a fortified wine.


No shiat. But second on the list is the "liquor" that everyone also leaves in their bar forever - brandy. And the wine base for vermouth is fortified more often than not with brandy.

But don't get me wrong - I didn't like brandy, either. It was like liquor for people who couldn't handle liquor. It's pre-school for drunks.
 
2012-12-07 10:19:45 PM  

doglover: Lsherm: doglover: Lsherm: I found vermouth so nasty back in the day I just told bartenders to quit putting it in a martini and give me gin in a martini glass.

Ewwwww.

I asked for olives!

That's why ewwww.

Gin is acceptable neat, or even on the rocks, but without the vermouth the olive will ruin it.


Only if there's too much salt. Otherwise, it acts to level the bitter bite of the gin. Hence the whole concept of the "dirty martini."

But it's been years, so maybe they refined the science of gin since I last had it. Timothy Dalton was still asking for them when I was.
 
2012-12-07 10:39:50 PM  

Elzar: Jesus you farking vermouth haters!

Here is the recipe for a perfect Manhattan:

Chilled Large Martini Glass
about a shot of maraschino cherry syrup
3 shots of jack
2 shots of dry vermouth
1 shot of sweet vermouth

Stir to perfection

Remember - 3,2,1


Approves
i48.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-07 11:35:15 PM  

Mangoose: Lsherm: That's probably why vermouth is always that old bottle you see in every home bar - no one wants it.

Because everyone treats it like a liquor and not a fortified wine.


the stuff goes bad...refrigerate it or consume it.
 
2012-12-07 11:35:16 PM  
What's a liquor cabinet?
 
2012-12-07 11:37:17 PM  

Elzar: Jesus you farking vermouth haters!

Here is the recipe for a perfect Manhattan:

Chilled Large Martini Glass
about a shot of maraschino cherry syrup
3 shots of jack
2 shots of dry vermouth
1 shot of sweet vermouth

Stir to perfection

Remember - 3,2,1


What?
 
2012-12-07 11:39:57 PM  
There is nothing wrong with vermouth. It has uses, even though they are few. What gets me are you "dirty" martini drinkers. Farking barbarians.
 
2012-12-07 11:42:18 PM  
After I moved into my current townhouse, I found an unopened bottle of retsina hidden behind the water heater. Any suggestions?
 
2012-12-07 11:45:15 PM  

ajgeek: What's a liquor cabinet?


The nightstand, coffee table, bedroom closet, fridge, car trunk, garage, under the bathroom sink...
 
2012-12-07 11:46:02 PM  
Aberlour 18
Auchentoshan 21
Ardbeg Uigeadail
Bowmore 12
Glenfarclas 12
Glenfarclas 15
Glenfarclas 17
Glenfarclas 21
Glenfacrlas 25
Nikka Taketsuru 12
Tyrconnell
Tyrconnell 10 Madeira finish
Lagavulin 12
Te Bheag
Laphroaig Quarter Cask

All I need now is one of those big globes on three wheels.
 
2012-12-07 11:47:30 PM  
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-12-07 11:47:48 PM  

Elzar: Jesus you farking vermouth haters!

Here is the recipe for a perfect Manhattan:

Chilled Large Martini Glass
about a shot of maraschino cherry syrup
3 shots of jack
2 shots of dry vermouth
1 shot of sweet vermouth

Stir to perfection

Remember - 3,2,1


More like:

2 Jiggers of Woodford Reserve (Any premium bourbon will do but I like woodford)
1 Jigger of Carpano Antiqua Vermouth
2 dashes of Angostura bitters
As much as an ounce of simple syrup to taste
Pour over ice into a martini shaker and then stir, never shake, until there is significant condensation on the shaker. The ice needs to melt just a bit to cut the liquor.
Strain into a chilled martini glass and add a cherry.
 
2012-12-07 11:49:15 PM  
Homer: You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix vermouth, frozen pie crust
Lisa: Maybe mom just doesn't realize we missed her. We could go down to the casino and let her know...
Homer: Oh, come on, Lisa, there's no reason to -- [takes a bite] -- let's go see Mom.
 
2012-12-07 11:49:54 PM  
I think I just threw up in vermouth
 
2012-12-07 11:50:16 PM  
Leftover liquor? I don't even know her.
But i suppose if she's got leftover liquor....
 
2012-12-07 11:50:19 PM  
Vermouth. Ugh.
 
2012-12-07 11:50:22 PM  
Oh yeah has to be shaken.
 
2012-12-07 11:52:12 PM  
I have:

Bacardi Rum (select or something)
Johnny walker red
Crown
Patron

I'm good.
 
2012-12-07 11:52:38 PM  

BeerGraduate: I think I just threw up in vermouth


You know what they say, vermouth is for lovers.
 
2012-12-07 11:52:39 PM  

Ivo Shandor: After I moved into my current townhouse, I found an unopened bottle of retsina hidden behind the water heater. Any suggestions?



Know better:

images.tvrage.com

/Couldn't find a screen cap of the actual scene
//Yes, it was Niles instead of Daphne, I know
 
2012-12-07 11:55:10 PM  

Pud: I think there's still some "stuff" in my medicine cabinet that expired in 1998. Good to know I can still put it to some good use. 

/Or does this only apply to 20 yr. old cheap liqueur?


You haven't lived until you've had 15+ year old NyQuil
 
2012-12-07 11:55:52 PM  
We've got the apps to make it happen.

No way, how much????

The app, which costs $.99


Oh, cool, I can buy an app that gives me drink recipes that I can easily look up online or in a book. But at least the apps will solve my problem of using up this liquor that I have in a liquor cabinet because I bought it and have been drinking it, but suddenly loathe.

will also help you find nearby liquor stores (in case you take a liking to that orphaned liquor you thought you hated) and bars

And there are additional databases for purchase


So, far from being a tool to help me simplify my life, this article is intended to spur rampant capitalism.

you have some Malibu rum and Drambuie lying around?

Yes, the Malibu rum is for the sorority girls to mix with Coke or cherry slushies. The Drambuie is for the people who want a tasty and fairly refined liqueur. Where I come from, we store Malibu and Drambuie in separate zip codes so some ignoramus doesn't accidentally pick the good stuff for doing shots and chasing with Natty Ice.

This article is a fail on so many levels. Now I want some Drambuie to dull the memory of it.
 
2012-12-07 11:56:53 PM  

UsikFark: Elzar: Jesus you farking vermouth haters!

Here is the recipe for a perfect Manhattan:

Chilled Large Martini Glass
about a shot of maraschino cherry syrup
3 shots of jack
2 shots of dry vermouth
1 shot of sweet vermouth

Stir to perfection

Remember - 3,2,1

What?


Same way I've made it at house parties (shrug).

I perfer Vikings (of course!):

1 Shot Jagermeister (OP MED DEN DANSK! (Raiding the Rhine Germanics))
1 Shot Rumple Minze (Raiding Mainland Germany)
1 Shot Jameson (Pillaging the British Isles)
1 Shot Bourbon (Buying their own women from the French/Franks - SERIOUSLY.)

Drop all into:

1 pint of Beer in a 24 oz. cup NOW CHUG! F'R N'RTH 'MERICA!

Learned this from a Canuckistani girl. More awesome than anyone could handle.
 
2012-12-07 11:58:08 PM  
I have:

About half a 40 of WIld Turkey 101
About two fingers of Crown Royal
A half bottle of sweet vermouth
Half bottle of Sauza silver tequila
Cheap red wine that I cook with
Manescheiwitz -- almost full bottle

I've been tempted for a while to see what a manhattan made with Manescheiwitz instead of vermouth would be like. I bet it's disgusting and concord grapey.
 
2012-12-08 12:00:46 AM  

Lsherm: PainInTheASP: You haven't lived until you've finished off a night with vermouth on the rocks.

I found vermouth so nasty back in the day I just told bartenders to quit putting it in a martini and give me gin in a martini glass. My college roommate was a bartender and he had a spray bottle with vermouth in it so he could "offer the essence" of vermouth, or some such nonsense, but it didn't matter. Even extra dry, extra expensive vermouth never tasted right to me.

That's probably why vermouth is always that old bottle you see in every home bar - no one wants it.


Martini and Rossi are single handedly responsible for that, both their dry and sweet are absolutely undrinkable rubbish. Proper Vermouth is quite enjoyable. I'm partial to the American Vye brand but I've read there are some decent smaller european brands if you can find them. I have a similar opinion about bitters except Angostura are at least worth consuming, though they're far from good.
 
2012-12-08 12:00:55 AM  

Lsherm: According to the website they reference, vermouth, ice, and Aftershock results in this:

No drinks can be made from the 3 ingredients you have.

So I guess I'm NOT using what's in the liquor cabinet, subby. Neither the wife nor I can figure out how long the Aftershock has been there, and I don't drink anymore. It's quite possible that bottle has been following us around for 20 years.


If I recall correctly the crystals in aftershock continue to grow. Is the bottle solid crystals?
 
2012-12-08 12:02:41 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Aberlour 18
Auchentoshan 21
Ardbeg Uigeadail
Bowmore 12
Glenfarclas 12
Glenfarclas 15
Glenfarclas 17
Glenfarclas 21
Glenfacrlas 25
Nikka Taketsuru 12
Tyrconnell
Tyrconnell 10 Madeira finish
Lagavulin 12
Te Bheag
Laphroaig Quarter Cask

All I need now is one of those big globes on three wheels.


I just looked those up on the app. It says to pour them all in a punchbowl with some Hawaiian punch and sliced fruit, then serve in a highball glass with multiple umbrellas.

Or, I will conveniently take them off your hands for... let's say $50. Too low? Alright, $75 it is then.
 
2012-12-08 12:06:57 AM  
I once bought a bottle of gin that came with a little bottle of vermouth. Oh boy, thought I, something new!

My wife unscrewed the bottle and took a smell, and promptly screamed "WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT AND PUT IT IN A BOTTLE?"

Vermouth is not good.

But gin is. With tonic water and lemon juice. Mmmm.
 
2012-12-08 12:09:00 AM  
You just have to work at it. Occasionally I decide I'm not taking one sip of anything I'd actually enjoy drinking until all the crap has been eliminated from the bar. Grab a friend and some shot glasses, steel your stomach and go to work. Be sure to provide the same service to them in return.
 
2012-12-08 12:09:47 AM  
The only liquor I ever had that I had to eventually throw out was banana liqueur. And that's only because it lost its flavor.
 
2012-12-08 12:11:58 AM  
They were looking for the President
And then they found the President
And Heaven knows
He's miserable now.
 
2012-12-08 12:13:33 AM  

Hector Remarkable: They were looking for the President
And then they found the President
And Heaven knows
He's miserable now.


okay, this isn't the Egyptian thread...
 
2012-12-08 12:17:51 AM  

chud21: Lsherm: According to the website they reference, vermouth, ice, and Aftershock results in this:

No drinks can be made from the 3 ingredients you have.

So I guess I'm NOT using what's in the liquor cabinet, subby. Neither the wife nor I can figure out how long the Aftershock has been there, and I don't drink anymore. It's quite possible that bottle has been following us around for 20 years.

If I recall correctly the crystals in aftershock continue to grow. Is the bottle solid crystals?


That's a new wive's tale. The bottle is plugged, and the crystals are at the bottom. They were placed there when it was bottled.

There's nothing to support new crystal growth - old bottles of Aftershock are just as good as the new ones right before they stopped making it.
 
Displayed 50 of 85 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report