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(New York Daily News)   Fox News commentator says female victims of domestic violence "should have made better decisions" in life   (nydailynews.com) divider line 681
    More: Dumbass, Fox News, domestic violence, Greg Gutfeld, Dana Perino, Jason Whitlock, female victims, Kansas City Chiefs  
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5718 clicks; posted to Politics » on 07 Dec 2012 at 2:04 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-07 01:01:51 PM  
From the mouthpiece of the Dubya White House no less... Must be a day that ends in a y.
 
2012-12-07 01:03:15 PM  
The official plank of the GOP is that whatever you get, you deserved it.

Be it poverty, violence, children, or oppression from the majority.
 
2012-12-07 01:03:19 PM  
Doesn't mean it's not true.
 
2012-12-07 01:03:22 PM  
This thread's going to end up boiling my blood, isn't it?
 
2012-12-07 01:04:39 PM  

netizencain: Doesn't mean it's not true.


To some extent it is. I always said that if a women gets beat once, it's the man's fault. If it keeps happening, at some point it becomes the woman's fault (PARTLY that is, the abuser is always to blame no matter what) for not leaving. On the other hand, it isn't always easy to just up and leave.
 
2012-12-07 01:04:57 PM  

netizencain: Doesn't mean it's not true.


Hit me once...shame on...shame on you. Hit me twice....can't get hit again.
 
2012-12-07 01:05:07 PM  
Yes, yes and the sky is blue, water is wet, women have secrets. Who gives a fark?
 
2012-12-07 01:05:35 PM  
Fox News commentator and White House Press Secretary for President George W. Bush says female victims of domestic violence "should have made better decisions" in life 
 
2012-12-07 01:08:01 PM  

hillbillypharmacist: The official plank of the GOP is that whatever you get, you deserved it.

Be it poverty, violence, children, or oppression from the majority.


Unless you're poor and coming into any sort of wealth or happiness.
 
2012-12-07 01:09:14 PM  

hillbillypharmacist: The official plank of the GOP is that whatever you get, you deserved it.

Be it poverty, violence, children, or oppression from the majority.


Unless you are a corporation or big GOP donor, in which case the bad business decisions you made in no way mean you are on your own. You deserve to be rescued at taxpayer expense, and enjoy bonuses in the 7 figures and up range all the while.
 
2012-12-07 01:09:19 PM  

nekom: On the other hand, it isn't always easy to just up and leave.


It almost never is. When you leave is when you're most likely to wind up dead. Every situation is different with varying dynamics, one has to gauge. Sometimes hunkering down with quiet stealth until an opportunity arises is the only course. Sometimes they have no where to go. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes....
 
2012-12-07 01:14:18 PM  
Is there a video to this?

Just want to know if she handled a followup question from the fellow pundits asking her to elaborate
 
2012-12-07 01:14:23 PM  
Somebody ignores hurricane evacuation orders and gets the dumbass tag. Somebody stays with an abusive SO and don't you dare suggest she might have made a better decision.

What do they teach in domestic violence prevention classes: that all of your previous decisions were the best ones? Or do victims not need help preventing domestic violence?
 
2012-12-07 01:19:20 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: nekom: On the other hand, it isn't always easy to just up and leave.
It almost never is. When you leave is when you're most likely to wind up dead. Every situation is different with varying dynamics, one has to gauge. Sometimes hunkering down with quiet stealth until an opportunity arises is the only course. Sometimes they have no where to go. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes....


And sometimes you have a 3 month old baby, and you try to work it out with the father of the child. Life aint always easy, and decisions like that never are. Blaming the victim is always horse shiat and doubly so in this case. It's really not that farking hard to understand this young womans motives. He was the father of her baby and they were going to counseling to work things out like rational adults should do. It was an unimaginable crime and I'm betting no one close to him saw it coming.
 
2012-12-07 01:19:25 PM  

hillbillypharmacist: The official plank of the GOP is that whatever you get, you deserved it.

Be it poverty, violence, children, or oppression from the majority.


...unless you're a defense contractor who makes a piece-of-shiat weapon system that the military doesn't want. Then you need a helping hand.
 
2012-12-07 01:19:53 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: It almost never is. When you leave is when you're most likely to wind up dead. Every situation is different with varying dynamics, one has to gauge. Sometimes hunkering down with quiet stealth until an opportunity arises is the only course. Sometimes they have no where to go. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes....


Well sure, that's the extreme example, when the man actually WOULD kill her and she knows it. But even aside from that, some (not all, I don't want to generalize here by any means) women have a hard time emotionally leaving, even when deep down they KNOW they have to, or things will never get better.

Yes, there are shelters. Very few women can bring themselves to go there. I've seen it happen. It's quite sad. There are no winners in that particular game.
 
2012-12-07 01:19:59 PM  

hillbillypharmacist: The official plank of the GOP is that whatever you get, you deserved it.

Be it poverty, violence, children, or oppression from the majority.


Unless you lose an election, get caught in a stall soliciting sex, or taking a hike along the Appalachian Trail.

The GOP is all about personal responsibility, unless it's their own.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2012-12-07 01:20:04 PM  
She's speaking from experience. She quit talking about the Cuban Missile Crisis after everyone pimpslapped her tiny brain out.
 
2012-12-07 01:20:10 PM  
Don't rile me up and I won't have to smack a biatch. Now make me a sammitch, and get the mayonnaise right this time, ya ho.
 
2012-12-07 01:20:11 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Somebody ignores hurricane evacuation orders and gets the dumbass tag. Somebody stays with an abusive SO and don't you dare suggest she might have made a better decision.

What do they teach in domestic violence prevention classes: that all of your previous decisions were the best ones? Or do victims not need help preventing domestic violence?


I highly doubt the hurricane brainwashes people to stay, although it could end up washing ones brain as the end result
 
2012-12-07 01:23:32 PM  

nekom: Yes, there are shelters. Very few women can bring themselves to go there. I've seen it happen. It's quite sad. There are no winners in that particular game.


Yep.
 
2012-12-07 01:26:04 PM  
"(They) should have guns!" co-host Greg Gutfeld chimed in.

Right! They should have guns!!1! So when the guy gets ready to hit her, she can shoot him. And then he can shoot back, because he has a gun, too!!! Cuz everyone should be armed! And they should have their guns on their person 24/7, even if it's family game night. ESPECIALLY if it's game night!! Monopoly can get very contentious! You're making a bad decision if you play without packing heat.

And if the initial exchange of fire doesn't kill them, the kids can lay down suppression fire for their favorite parent as he or she moves into a better defensive position. This would be a good time to lob a couple of grenades, but the pussy-ass libtards don't think the Second Amendment covers hand grenades, the fkn commies.

But I digress...the lesson to be learned here is that it is essential for everyone to be fully armed at all times. You know, for the kids.
 
2012-12-07 01:27:55 PM  
Warmed over "she was asking for it" aka blaming the victim.

How creative.
 
2012-12-07 01:29:59 PM  

sammyk: And sometimes you have a 3 month old baby, and you try to work it out with the father of the child. Life aint always easy, and decisions like that never are. Blaming the victim is always horse shiat and doubly so in this case. It's really not that farking hard to understand this young womans motives. He was the father of her baby and they were going to counseling to work things out like rational adults should do. It was an unimaginable crime and I'm betting no one close to him saw it coming.


Exactly. She was doing what she thought was best, they were 'working' on it in her mind; and that is no reason for anyone to go out there and blame her for what happened to her. He is the one who did this, no one else. He's also the one who was so overwhelmed with guilt that he shot himself after a few apologies, he knew he was to blame.

You hardly ever see it coming. Very, very rarely do people see this coming; the warning signs are generally so subtle that only hindsight makes them apparent. Abusive people are adept at charm and manipulation, they take their time with the process and before you know it: BLAM
 
2012-12-07 01:34:49 PM  
What patriarchy?
 
2012-12-07 01:36:32 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: "(They) should have guns!" co-host Greg Gutfeld chimed in.

Right! They should have guns!!1! So when the guy gets ready to hit her, she can shoot him. And then he can shoot back, because he has a gun, too!!! Cuz everyone should be armed! And they should have their guns on their person 24/7, even if it's family game night. ESPECIALLY if it's game night!! Monopoly can get very contentious! You're making a bad decision if you play without packing heat.

And if the initial exchange of fire doesn't kill them, the kids can lay down suppression fire for their favorite parent as he or she moves into a better defensive position. This would be a good time to lob a couple of grenades, but the pussy-ass libtards don't think the Second Amendment covers hand grenades, the fkn commies.

But I digress...the lesson to be learned here is that it is essential for everyone to be fully armed at all times. You know, for the kids.


First of all, I love you.

Second of all, let the free market decide how many orphans are created through semi-automatic fire on family game night!
 
2012-12-07 01:38:24 PM  
"(They) should have guns!" co-host Greg Gutfeld chimed in.

I see Fox News' subsidization of Greg Gutfield's cocaine habit is still paying dividends.

Cheaper than paying for therapy for his Short Man Syndrome, I guess.
 
2012-12-07 01:39:04 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: Don't rile me up and I won't have to smack a biatch. Now make me a sammitch, and get the mayonnaise right this time, ya ho.


Dad?
 
2012-12-07 01:40:05 PM  
Why do I get the feeling that Gutfeld is a master of date rape?
 
2012-12-07 01:41:11 PM  

sammyk: And sometimes you have a 3 month old baby, and you try to work it out with the father of the child. Life aint always easy, and decisions like that never are. Blaming the victim is always horse shiat and doubly so in this case. It's really not that farking hard to understand this young womans motives. He was the father of her baby and they were going to counseling to work things out like rational adults should do. It was an unimaginable crime and I'm betting no one close to him saw it coming.


And getting married to/involved with that, in retrospect, was a bad decision.

No one here is judging, but I think you'd have to be insane to call that a "good" decision. Good people can make bad decisions for what they thought were good reasons - like employee-first businessowners who end up going broke, they made some bad decisions. Doesn't mean either of them "deserve it", nor that there's a war on them.
 
2012-12-07 01:42:32 PM  

cman: BarkingUnicorn: Somebody ignores hurricane evacuation orders and gets the dumbass tag. Somebody stays with an abusive SO and don't you dare suggest she might have made a better decision.

What do they teach in domestic violence prevention classes: that all of your previous decisions were the best ones? Or do victims not need help preventing domestic violence?

I highly doubt the hurricane brainwashes people to stay, although it could end up washing ones brain as the end result


You don't unwash a brain by telling someone their thinking is not a problem. It's not the ONLY problem, but it has to be acknowledged as a problem.
 
2012-12-07 01:44:49 PM  

nekom: CapeFearCadaver: It almost never is. When you leave is when you're most likely to wind up dead. Every situation is different with varying dynamics, one has to gauge. Sometimes hunkering down with quiet stealth until an opportunity arises is the only course. Sometimes they have no where to go. Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes....

Well sure, that's the extreme example, when the man actually WOULD kill her and she knows it. But even aside from that, some (not all, I don't want to generalize here by any means) women have a hard time emotionally leaving, even when deep down they KNOW they have to, or things will never get better.

Yes, there are shelters. Very few women can bring themselves to go there. I've seen it happen. It's quite sad. There are no winners in that particular game.


My sister works for one of those shelters. They field calls every day and from some of what she has told me, there is no way this is something that happens 'once in a while'. If a woman wants to take her child and leave an abusive relationship and wants to coordinate with a shelter, they have to be very sneaky about it- in a way the man can't follow her or figure out where she has gone.

This Fox News biatch can go to hell. Abuse knows no racial, class, financial or religious line. Could she claim that the wife of a wealthy oil magnate made the wrong decisions because he suddenly couldn't handle things and began to beat the sh*t out of her?
 
2012-12-07 01:46:34 PM  

Dr Dreidel: sammyk: And sometimes you have a 3 month old baby, and you try to work it out with the father of the child. Life aint always easy, and decisions like that never are. Blaming the victim is always horse shiat and doubly so in this case. It's really not that farking hard to understand this young womans motives. He was the father of her baby and they were going to counseling to work things out like rational adults should do. It was an unimaginable crime and I'm betting no one close to him saw it coming.

And getting married to/involved with that, in retrospect, was a bad decision.

No one here is judging, but I think you'd have to be insane to call that a "good" decision. Good people can make bad decisions for what they thought were good reasons - like employee-first businessowners who end up going broke, they made some bad decisions. Doesn't mean either of them "deserve it", nor that there's a war on them.


Pretty much. It's a fine line to walk in terms of reasoning, because the emotions run high, but in retrospect one can only objectively call it a "bad decision" and "working it out" the same.
 
2012-12-07 01:47:17 PM  

cman: I highly doubt the hurricane brainwashes people to stay, although it could end up washing ones brain as the end result


A certain amount of complacency tends to creep in to places that are only occasionally hit by hurricanes.

Like, "we haven't had a big one in 15 years and that was a 50 year storm so there's no way Hurricane Nancy could do that level of damage." So they stay and maybe die.

I doubt that has any direct connection to spousal abuse, though.
 
2012-12-07 01:47:39 PM  
look guys it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that we can ascribe a non-zero amount of blame to "victims" of domestic abuse
 
2012-12-07 01:50:31 PM  

Jackson Herring: look guys it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that we can ascribe a non-zero amount of blame to "victims" of domestic abuse


Do we do contributory or comparative negligence here on Fark? I can never remember.
 
2012-12-07 01:50:34 PM  

nekom: netizencain: Doesn't mean it's not true.

To some extent it is. I always said that if a women gets beat once, it's the man's fault. If it keeps happening, at some point it becomes the woman's fault (PARTLY that is, the abuser is always to blame no matter what) for not leaving. On the other hand, it isn't always easy to just up and leave.


Since I can't see the video at all, never mind the unedited version..
is it possible that she said this very thing? That staying in an abusive relationship is partly the woman's fault? Or at least, is that what she was angling towards? I say that because that's my FIRST guess as to what was really said here.
Or perhaps saying something like "seeing signs of violence in a partner and not doing something about it, is the woman not making better decisions".

I am missing context here, right/ please tell me I am
--------------

Dr. Knockboots, owner/operator of the Tempura House.. a shelter for lightly battered women.
 
2012-12-07 01:52:11 PM  
Girls go for the douchebags, then act like the unwitting victim when douchebag turns out to be a douchebag.

I'm talking about the Hope Solo's of the world. The girls who marry guys like Jerramy Stevens. I think that is what Dana Perino meant too. If you choose to marry a guy like Jerramy Stevens, don't expect much sympathy from me when he ends up beating you.
 
2012-12-07 01:53:36 PM  

Shostie: Jackson Herring: look guys it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that we can ascribe a non-zero amount of blame to "victims" of domestic abuse

Do we do contributory or comparative negligence here on Fark? I can never remember.


Whichever is the most disgusting in a given situation
 
2012-12-07 01:53:40 PM  

Dr Dreidel: sammyk: And sometimes you have a 3 month old baby, and you try to work it out with the father of the child. Life aint always easy, and decisions like that never are. Blaming the victim is always horse shiat and doubly so in this case. It's really not that farking hard to understand this young womans motives. He was the father of her baby and they were going to counseling to work things out like rational adults should do. It was an unimaginable crime and I'm betting no one close to him saw it coming.

And getting married to/involved with that, in retrospect, was a bad decision.

No one here is judging, but I think you'd have to be insane to call that a "good" decision. Good people can make bad decisions for what they thought were good reasons - like employee-first businessowners who end up going broke, they made some bad decisions. Doesn't mean either of them "deserve it", nor that there's a war on them.


Jackson Herring: look guys it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that we can ascribe a non-zero amount of blame to "victims" of domestic abuse


And that's the other part. What the sweet chocolate fark does it matter if she shoulders 1%, 2%, 5% of the blame for the failure of the relationship - he still shoulders the rest of it, plus 100% of the "hit someone" blame. I'm suddenly reminded of that apocryphal story of someone who killed their parents asking for the court's leniency on the poor orphan on trial.
 
2012-12-07 01:56:05 PM  

Jackson Herring: look guys it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that we can ascribe a non-zero amount of blame to "victims" of domestic abuse


"There are things you could have done to avoid this" is assigning blame.

"There are things you can do in the future to avoid this happening again" is not assigning blame.

Both formulations imply that you could make better decisions. If you can't accept that, then fark you.
 
2012-12-07 01:56:37 PM  
You know, I bet it won't be long before someone says that rape is good for women.
 
2012-12-07 01:57:46 PM  

Dr.Knockboots: nekom: netizencain: Doesn't mean it's not true.

To some extent it is. I always said that if a women gets beat once, it's the man's fault. If it keeps happening, at some point it becomes the woman's fault (PARTLY that is, the abuser is always to blame no matter what) for not leaving. On the other hand, it isn't always easy to just up and leave.

Since I can't see the video at all, never mind the unedited version..
is it possible that she said this very thing? That staying in an abusive relationship is partly the woman's fault? Or at least, is that what she was angling towards? I say that because that's my FIRST guess as to what was really said here.
Or perhaps saying something like "seeing signs of violence in a partner and not doing something about it, is the woman not making better decisions".

I am missing context here, right/ please tell me I am
--------------

Dr. Knockboots, owner/operator of the Tempura House.. a shelter for lightly battered women.


I don't know if that's what she's trying to say, but there's a certain bit of truth, though using "fault" is sort of problematic in that people will blow their lids at the semantics.

Basically, *staying* in a repeatedly abusive relationship is something that, unless you are being physically kept there (and those situations do happen), can be solved by leaving the relationship.

Now, of course, one has to realize that there's many kinds of abuse. Neglectful abuse is the easiest to remedy by simply leaving the relationship and finding a better one, while Australians keeping hostage wives in bunkers are a little less easy to remedy in that fashion.

Also, of course, the original statement is flawed in that domestic violence and abusive relationships are not a solely male-on-female situation. There's a pitifully small number of resources available for battered husbands (physically and otherwise) for example.

And, finally, many folks who are the victims in an abusive relationship are there because of some sort of psychological problem (either biological or socially based), which results in them making non-rational decisions with regards to their life situations.

BUT, yes, IN THEORY, that may be what she meant.

However, the entire situation is so nuanced and situational, that saying such in a format that is dominated by soundbites is gonna never go right.
 
2012-12-07 01:57:54 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: "There are things you can do in the future to avoid this happening again" is not assigning blame.


haha yeah that is EXACTLY what Dana Perino was talking about
 
2012-12-07 01:58:11 PM  

Shostie: Jackson Herring: look guys it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT that we can ascribe a non-zero amount of blame to "victims" of domestic abuse

Do we do contributory or comparative negligence here on Fark? I can never remember.


Nothing is ever neglected on Fark; not the slightest spelling or grammatical error, flawed logic, or misplaced apostrophe.
 
2012-12-07 01:59:51 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: "(They) should have guns!" co-host Greg Gutfeld chimed in.

Right! They should have guns!!1! So when the guy gets ready to hit her, she can shoot him. And then he can shoot back, because he has a gun, too!!! Cuz everyone should be armed! And they should have their guns on their person 24/7, even if it's family game night. ESPECIALLY if it's game night!! Monopoly can get very contentious! You're making a bad decision if you play without packing heat.

And if the initial exchange of fire doesn't kill them, the kids can lay down suppression fire for their favorite parent as he or she moves into a better defensive position. This would be a good time to lob a couple of grenades, but the pussy-ass libtards don't think the Second Amendment covers hand grenades, the fkn commies.

But I digress...the lesson to be learned here is that it is essential for everyone to be fully armed at all times. You know, for the kids.


narwhaler.com
 
2012-12-07 02:00:19 PM  

SlothB77: If you choose to marry a guy like Jerramy Stevens, don't expect much sympathy from me when he ends up beating you.


See, we shouldn't teach men not to beat up women, we should teach women to avoid men who beat them up.

This way, all the responsibility in any domestic abuse situation a woman find herself falls on her, not him.
 
2012-12-07 02:01:00 PM  

BarkingUnicorn: Nothing is ever neglected on Fark


Except farkers' jobs.
 
2012-12-07 02:01:34 PM  

Jackson Herring: BarkingUnicorn: "There are things you can do in the future to avoid this happening again" is not assigning blame.

haha yeah that is EXACTLY what Dana Perino was talking about


Actually, it is. Headline misquotes her. TFA says:

"(They) should have guns!" co-host Greg Gutfeld chimed in.

"Well, or make better decisions," Perino said.

Not "should have made..." but "make" as in "now and in the future."
 
2012-12-07 02:01:37 PM  

TheBeastOfYuccaFlats: However, the entire situation is so nuanced and situational, that saying such in a format that is dominated by soundbites is gonna never go right.


QFT
 
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