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(Village Voice)   IMPORTANT STUDY: The average adult can read further into The Hobbit within the movie's own running time than the movie itself actually covers   (blogs.villagevoice.com) divider line 14
    More: Asinine, The Hobbit, running time, Wilhelm scream, First Hour, Frodo, The Return of the King  
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3573 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 07 Dec 2012 at 12:41 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-12-07 12:59:46 PM  
3 votes:
That's due to PJ's odd decision to include each character's bathroom break in the film.
2012-12-07 09:10:03 PM  
2 votes:
What did Gimli say?

"I asked her for one hair from her golden head. She gave me three."

Apparently there are a handful of people who think this is a problem. Those people are freaks.
2012-12-07 06:03:49 PM  
2 votes:
The Hobbit is a good story and all but there's not really a whole lot to it... Dumbledore barges in on Frodo. They venture off with a bunch of midgets. They walk for a bit, Samwise almost gets eaten by some trolls who die rather anti-climatically. So they walk some more, chill with Agent Smith for a little while. Walk some more. They get dragged underground by a bunch of goblins. Pippin finds the Ring, exchanges a few riddles with Golem, then.... um... *mumble mumble mumble* they're all back together again outside, away from the goblins. But the goblins are pissed, so they chase them up some trees. The Eagles show up and give them a lift to The Dude's house. Why did the Eagles help? Because FARK goblins, that's why. The Dude is a bit of a dick so the crew doesn't stay long. They walk some more. By now you should probably have figured out that they're all pretty ill prepared for the long walk so of course they're almost eaten by a bunch of giant spiders. But obviously they aren't. Get this, frodo saves them all by putting on the RIng and heckling the spiders. I shiat you not. So they're walking... they're walking... They get all lost in some woods and some local douchebag elves decide to take them all prisoner. So Mary uses the Ring to *mumble mumble mumble* and they're all floating down a river in barrels. They tool around some shiat hole town for a little bit, then... you guessed it! They walk some more. They get to the mountain that has the dragon all up in it. They're all pretty incompetent so they just tool around the mountain for a while. They get inside and wait for the dragon to leave or trick him into leaving or something it doesn't really matter. They frolic in the phat lootz for a while. Oh ya, the dragon got killed. So then all these creditors and long lost relatives and charities and crap come crawling out of the woodwork to get at some of grandpa smurf's treasure. But he's all, "It's MAH treasure!" There's some fighting. Everyone gets some money. The end.

/Oh, spoiler alert.
2012-12-07 01:47:43 PM  
2 votes:

DjangoStonereaver: I happen to think Jackson did a great job of
capturing the feel of Tolkien with the LOTR movies, even if he made some changes and deletions that
got some purist's panties in a bunch


Please excuse me now, I must un-bunch my panties yet again. 

Frodo, of the nine fingers....and the Ring of Doom.....
2012-12-07 01:32:51 PM  
2 votes:

NeoCortex42: Tolkien pretty much treated The Hobbit the same way King worked on The Gunslinger.


Only the opposite because the revised version of The Gunslinger was farking terrible.

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Someone on Fark once put it this way: Tolkien was a master as describing setting, but couldn't handle action or interactions for sh*t.

Three pages of describing trees and armies and setting up suspense, followed by:
"There was then a fight and a bunch of people died."


The Battle of the Five Armies was like what, two pages? And most of that was just AND THEN THERE WERE THESE OTHER DWARVES LED BY GRUMPY SON OF GOOSEY FROM THE GREY HALLS OF AEIIOUIAIOUI VAN DEN VOWEL APPROACHING UPON THE DAYBREAK AND THEN THERE WERE...
2012-12-07 01:14:08 PM  
2 votes:
And the movie Titanic was longer than it actually took the boat to sink, your point?
2012-12-07 12:56:03 PM  
2 votes:

NewWorldDan: Yes, but how far can the average adult read before putting the book down because Tolkein, though a creative genius, was an awful writer.


He was no E. L. James but he was pretty good.
2012-12-07 03:55:41 PM  
1 votes:
Also, Bombur was a walking fat joke in the book as well.
2012-12-07 03:28:59 PM  
1 votes:

Jaws_Victim: What about the farking eagles??.?


i.chzbgr.com
2012-12-07 03:13:43 PM  
1 votes:

ClintonKun: stoli n coke: Saiga410: I did not know that PJ cut the Hobbit into 3 movies from a 300 page book. I read slow but I know I could do roughly 100 pages in 2.5 hours.

The Hobbit is only 300 pages? Then why the fark do they need 3 movies that run nearly 3 hours apiece to tell the story? I understand why Lord of the Rings needed it, because that book was freakin enormous.

They're going to show a "side story" that happened at the same time of the Hobbit, which is expanded upon in other books. Basically, it's about what Gandalf is running off to do, whenever he runs off from the Bilbo and the Dwarves. And from what I've read, it leads to a huge moment of awesome.


Gandalf in Dol Guldur is going to be epic.


There's plenty of content for three movies. Plenty.
2012-12-07 01:46:03 PM  
1 votes:

lmdemasi: the time to beat, by The Hollywood Reporter's reckoning: 158 minutes

By the time I reached the end of chapter six, where the film stops, just over two and a half hours had passed -- I still had 20+ minutes to spare.

You don't say?


Dahfuq..


60 +60+30 = 150

150+20 = 170

158-170 = -12.
2012-12-07 01:15:46 PM  
1 votes:

NewWorldDan: Yes, but how far can the average adult read before putting the book down because Tolkein, though a creative genius, was an awful writer.


Someone on Fark once put it this way: Tolkien was a master as describing setting, but couldn't handle action or interactions for sh*t.

Three pages of describing trees and armies and setting up suspense, followed by:
"There was then a fight and a bunch of people died."
2012-12-07 12:56:16 PM  
1 votes:
But I don't like reading. My imagination was killed after years of Nintendo. I need constant visual stimulation.
2012-12-07 12:51:56 PM  
1 votes:
The VOICE was so much better under its previous management.
 
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