Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(News.com.au)   New Zealand giving unemployed one-way airfares to Australia. It's a little game they play   (news.com.au) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, New Zealand, Australia  
•       •       •

7306 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2012 at 9:10 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



66 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-05 08:54:35 PM  
On a very special episode of "Flight of the Concords".....
 
2012-12-05 09:11:38 PM  
I hate Qantas...
 
2012-12-05 09:13:36 PM  
Because bus tickets just don't cut it.
 
2012-12-05 09:15:11 PM  
Didn't England try this a few hundred years ago?
 
2012-12-05 09:16:16 PM  

MemeSlave: Didn't England try this a few hundred years ago?


And the Lord Humungous just a few hundred years from now.
 
2012-12-05 09:22:58 PM  
Maybe they were hoping the spiders would get them.
 
2012-12-05 09:23:22 PM  

"Go back to kiwi land, you lazy bastards. And take your Sheilas with you!" 


img850.imageshack.us

 
2012-12-05 09:24:39 PM  
Last one out turn off the lights
 
2012-12-05 09:25:43 PM  
That's farking awesome!
 
2012-12-05 09:25:45 PM  
That's not how you play cricket...
 
2012-12-05 09:27:14 PM  
Some people say that Aussies don't have feelings...
 
2012-12-05 09:31:55 PM  
Hey New Zealand --

I don't have a job in your country either. But I'd really like to visit Australia. So please send me a free ticket. Thx.

/NZ is full of hobbit-fanciers anyway
 
2012-12-05 09:32:46 PM  
if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination.

imokwiththis.jpg


as long as the relocation itself is legal, what is the problem with a social services agency helping clients relocate to a job they have secured but are unable to afford or secure their own relocation costs? (as long as costs are reasonable and secured job is credible , long term, and within the skillset of the client)
 
2012-12-05 09:34:12 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-05 09:34:15 PM  
The enzeders have been hieing it to Australia since time immemorial. My dad was one of them back in the 30's, although I think he started out being born in Australia and his dad went to NZ for a while while my dad was a teenager, and took the family with him. I think getting a free aeroplane ticket is a recent development, however.
 
2012-12-05 09:34:59 PM  

archives.govt.nz
"New Zealanders who leave for Australia raise the IQ of both countries"
also
"Good luck with the sheepshiat economy I left you"
 
2012-12-05 09:37:21 PM  
Our government has pretty much given up on trying to find jobs for anyone with a decent education, or working in a creative field. This is the natural result of that.

I've had friends with masters degrees and PhDs told that there's no point even looking for work here.
 
2012-12-05 09:38:52 PM  

ariosto: Our government has pretty much given up on trying to find jobs for anyone with a decent education, or working in a creative field. This is the natural result of that.

I've had friends with masters degrees and PhDs told that there's no point even looking for work here.


That's kind of true in most places. Do you want fries with that PhD in alternative-basket-weaving-psychology?
 
2012-12-05 09:41:02 PM  

The_Sponge: On a very special episode of "Flight of the Concords".....


My grandad met my grandmum in Australia. And by 'met' I mean raped.
 
2012-12-05 09:41:02 PM  
I hear Bartertown has openings for new pig wranglers, electrical engineers, and slave drivers. I sent in my resume for Thunderdome fight promoter.
 
2012-12-05 09:51:47 PM  
New Zealand is giving jobseekers roughly $1200 for a one-way ticket to Australia to get them back to work and off the dole at home. Source: Supplied...

New Zealand is giving jobseekers roughly $1200 for a one-way ticket to Australia to get them back to work and off the dole at home. Source: Supplied...
 
2012-12-05 09:52:27 PM  
So much for the pursuit of happiness in a nuclear-free zone.
 
2012-12-05 09:53:00 PM  
I found the list of Kiwi's who took advantage of this scheme;

Quade Cooper
Sonny Bill Williams
Greg Somerville
Mike Harris
Robbie Deans
Alby Matthewson
Jason Woodward
Daryl Gibson
John Mitchell
James Tamou
 
2012-12-05 09:55:38 PM  

ThatBillmanGuy: Some people say that Aussies don't have feelings...


We have feelings.
 
2012-12-05 09:59:30 PM  
What do Kiwi's and sperm have in common?
Millions of them enter and only a couple of them actually work.
 
2012-12-05 10:10:09 PM  
Dumb question:

If New Zealand and Australia are 2 sovereign countries, then why can a Kiwi collect Australian Dole money, since he did not contribute to it through taxes or deductions?
 
2012-12-05 10:11:49 PM  
as it states: "since then Kiwis receiving the dole have been able to apply for money to migrate to Australia, if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination."

But can they collect the Australian Dole?
 
2012-12-05 10:12:23 PM  
www.kazak.com

There are some teachers at this school who look the other way at truants. It's a little game you both play. They pretend they don't see you, and you pretend you don't ditch! Now, in the end, who pays the price? YOU!
 
2012-12-05 10:15:08 PM  
This reminds me of the time that guy in Fort Lauderdale, Florida gave all those bums one way bus tickets to Los Angeles. LA was pissed about it, if I recall correctly.
 
2012-12-05 10:16:07 PM  
It's those tricksy hobbitses. They'll do the same jobs for half the pay.
 
2012-12-05 10:20:42 PM  
Mantour: Dumb question:

If New Zealand and Australia are 2 sovereign countries, then why can a Kiwi collect Australian Dole money, since he did not contribute to it through taxes or deductions?

The same way the mexicans that sneak into the US get all the benefits that I pay for without contributing a damned thing themselves. Socialism.
 
2012-12-05 10:36:31 PM  

Mantour: as it states: "since then Kiwis receiving the dole have been able to apply for money to migrate to Australia, if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination."

But can they collect the Australian Dole?


No, they can't. No New Zealander who has arrived since 26 February 2001 can collect Australian welfare. There's no path to citizenship (except by marriage or the same rules for other nationalities), so there are very few New Zealanders living in Australia who can collect Australian welfare. Even when there are emergency payments for floods, bush fires or other natural disasters.

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.
 
2012-12-05 10:38:48 PM  

My Bologna Has A Maiden Name: Mantour: Dumb question:

If New Zealand and Australia are 2 sovereign countries, then why can a Kiwi collect Australian Dole money, since he did not contribute to it through taxes or deductions?

The same way the mexicans that sneak into the US get all the benefits that I pay for without contributing a damned thing themselves. Socialism.


They are 2 "socialists" countries...
 
2012-12-05 10:39:32 PM  
Canada is planning to do the same thing with the United States...

for some reason they WANT our tired, our poor,
our huddled masses, yearning to breath free, the wretched refuse of our teeming shore.

We're sending these, the homeless.
 
2012-12-05 10:42:42 PM  
We still don't forgive you for Russell Crowd. Thanks for Tum Funn though.
 
2012-12-05 10:44:17 PM  
CrowE. farking autocorrect.
 
2012-12-05 10:45:47 PM  

Mantour: as it states: "since then Kiwis receiving the dole have been able to apply for money to migrate to Australia, if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination."

But can they collect the Australian Dole?


We're two countries, but with a long history and deep ties together. We have a lot of special agreements with NZ, including that NZ can become permanent residents here quite easily, but I think it still takes a while before they're allowed to apply for the dole. This case isn't about them being sent over to get the dole in Australia, it's about them being sent over if they have jobs lined up, to start work (which isn't too bad).

Also, remember that News.com.au is run by the same people who run Fox News, so they always have a particular slant on things.
 
2012-12-05 10:54:14 PM  

MrHappyRotter: ThatBillmanGuy: Some people say that Aussies don't have feelings...

We have feelings.


Some people say that MrHappyRotter and I aren't Aussies...
 
2012-12-05 10:55:00 PM  

thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.


And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really
 
2012-12-05 11:07:07 PM  
Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.
 
2012-12-05 11:08:06 PM  

gaspode: thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.

And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really


Fyi, nobody blames the Kiwis for anything, we're family. Kiwis are our smaller, less successful cousins (and more boring). Sad really.
 
2012-12-05 11:19:06 PM  

starsrift: Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.


Well, if all the wildlife over there didn't kill everyone, maybe they'd be able to keep a few employees alive long enough to get some work done, ever think of that?
 
2012-12-05 11:28:53 PM  

Mantour: Dumb question:

If New Zealand and Australia are 2 sovereign countries, then why can a Kiwi collect Australian Dole money, since he did not contribute to it through taxes or deductions?


Brothers look after each other.

Until John Howard got in, we were sharing more and more. With the ultimate aim of creating a single currency and ease of movement. If we were smart we would have called the place Oceania and then started working on introducing the local islands and ultimately Indonesia et al.
 
2012-12-05 11:34:15 PM  

andrewmoriarty:

Fyi, nobody blames the Kiwis for anything, we're family. Kiwis are our smaller, less successful cousins (and more boring). Sad really.


Heard numerous aussies biatching on and on about Kiwis sponging over there.. when there are no such things. Kiwis DO go over there and steal your jobs, but then you werent really doing them very well so thats fine.

Ive also seen queensland politicians on TV spouting outright lies about it all.

Im also not a native Kiwi ;P
 
2012-12-05 11:36:07 PM  

WhippingBoy: Canada is planning to do the same thing with the United States...


We are? I haven't heard that.

The stupidest thing I've heard lately is that Alberta is targetting former US servicemen to work in the oilsands. That's right, they're looking to hire ex-US servicemen to work the Canadian oilsands rather than targetting jobs at Canadians that need them.

Link

Stupidest farking idea ever.
 
2012-12-05 11:38:18 PM  

gaspode: thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.

And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really


I see a direct parallel with the United States here...
 
2012-12-05 11:46:43 PM  

starsrift: Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.


I need to get back home. Do they need veterinarians?
 
2012-12-05 11:52:49 PM  

gaspode: thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.

And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really


Bah, slagging all of us because of some right wingers is pretty stupid. Just because some right wing derpers and Murdoch's News.com.au are trying to find some ways to Americanise the country's politics is no reason to blame the rest of us.
 
2012-12-05 11:58:15 PM  

maddermaxx: Just because some right wing derpers and Murdoch's News.com.au are trying to find some ways to Americanise the country's politics is no reason to blame the rest of us.


Technically, you can't blame the Americans for that. Rupes originated his empire in Australia.

If anything, he Australianized American and British politics.
 
2012-12-06 12:13:07 AM  
And we get all upset when the Colorado Springs' holier-than-thous buy one-way bus tickets for the homeless to send them to Phoenix? In they churches? [sic] And without a sponsor on the other end. God, I love Christians.
 
2012-12-06 12:19:20 AM  

Forbidden Doughnut: gaspode: thisispete:

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.

And yet Australians continue to believe their lying shiatbag politicians who use kiwis as scapegoats to deflect from their own failures. Sad really

I see a direct parallel with the United States here...


Lying shiatbag politicians are not specific to any particular continent.
 
2012-12-06 12:53:33 AM  
i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-06 12:53:51 AM  

maddermaxx:

Bah, slagging all of us because of some right wingers is pretty stupid. Just because some right wing derpers and Murdoch's News.com.au are trying to find some ways to Americanise the country's politics is no reason to blame the rest of us.


I'm only really slagging your politicians (who Im 100% sure you will agree are especially vile).. most aussies are good folks of course, but too many buy this line of crap, they truly do.
 
2012-12-06 12:55:08 AM  

Lehk: if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination.

imokwiththis.jpg


as long as the relocation itself is legal, what is the problem with a social services agency helping clients relocate to a job they have secured but are unable to afford or secure their own relocation costs? (as long as costs are reasonable and secured job is credible , long term, and within the skillset of the client)


The ideal would be to re-locate someone to a job within NZ so that they are a productive member of society (paying income tax). Sending them to Oz means the Kiwis miss out on any income taxes.

You might think, "well, that's better than them being a drain on local coffers", but the NZ National party actually campaigned on the premise of stopping the "brain drain". So it's a major political embarrasment to be caught subsidising flights to Oz.
 
2012-12-06 02:32:35 AM  

gaspode: maddermaxx:

Bah, slagging all of us because of some right wingers is pretty stupid. Just because some right wing derpers and Murdoch's News.com.au are trying to find some ways to Americanise the country's politics is no reason to blame the rest of us.

I'm only really slagging your politicians (who Im 100% sure you will agree are especially vile).. most aussies are good folks of course, but too many buy this line of crap, they truly do.


They are probably whingeing about the indigenous brown Kiwi rather than much more common white species.
 
2012-12-06 02:46:47 AM  

thisispete: Mantour: as it states: "since then Kiwis receiving the dole have been able to apply for money to migrate to Australia, if they could prove there was a job waiting at their destination."

But can they collect the Australian Dole?

No, they can't. No New Zealander who has arrived since 26 February 2001 can collect Australian welfare. There's no path to citizenship (except by marriage or the same rules for other nationalities), so there are very few New Zealanders living in Australia who can collect Australian welfare. Even when there are emergency payments for floods, bush fires or other natural disasters.

The average Kiwi living in Australia pays more in tax than the average Australian and gets far less in return.


They can get the extremely generous middle class welfare or family tax benefit from the day they arrive if they have kids. They usually have half a dozen on arrival or soon after.
 
2012-12-06 04:00:55 AM  
If one avoids the knee-jerk reaction and looks at this in context, they'll find:

1. It looks like only a handful of people (16 confirmed cases, full review in progress) have benefited from the free ticket to Australia initiative. If those few people have a confirmed job waiting for them, and all that stands in the way is getting a ticket, then this is a smart move by the Kiwis.

2. Everyone wins. The unemployed person gets free airfare and becomes employed. The Australians benefit from getting a vacant job filled. The Kiwis benefit by making a one-time payment instead of an indeterminate period paying unemployment and other related benefits.
 
2012-12-06 04:23:21 AM  

starsrift: Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.


As an Australian administration contractor (with much experience in a range of environments doing a broad range of challenging work looking for relatively simple work for which I should be vastly overqualified) whose last government employment contract ran out in October and who just spent most of the last month terrifyingly underemployed, I think this is changing fast. A lot of Australian companies are shrinking and laying off workers. Mining is slowing down for the time being, governments are cutting services to the bone and offering voluntary redundancies, job ads are well down. The last six months have all been bad news, even if we're better off than many because our financial regulatory systems (one of few things I'll compliment former Treasurer Peter Costello for) worked when many were going mad on the global financial bubble.

Thankfully I found a job which should run a few months or longer with a private company. I won't name it but it's a multinational distribution firm with 'independent distributors' (ie members of the public) selling to their friends and signing up new members for fun and profit. Their business model is holding up really well in this time of belt-tightening and sales are booming. It's more the exception than the rule for most Australian workplaces right now though.
 
2012-12-06 04:43:37 AM  

Aussie_As: starsrift: Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.

As an Australian administration contractor (with much experience in a range of environments doing a broad range of challenging work looking for relatively simple work for which I should be vastly overqualified) whose last government employment contract ran out in October and who just spent most of the last month terrifyingly underemployed, I think this is changing fast. A lot of Australian companies are shrinking and laying off workers. Mining is slowing down for the time being, governments are cutting services to the bone and offering voluntary redundancies, job ads are well down. The last six months have all been bad news, even if we're better off than many because our financial regulatory systems (one of few things I'll compliment former Treasurer Peter Costello for) worked when many were going mad on the global financial bubble.

Thankfully I found a job which should run a few months or longer with a private company. I won't name it but it's a multinational distribution firm with 'independent distributors' (ie members of the public) selling to their friends and signing up new members for fun and profit. Their business model is holding up really well in this time of belt-tightening and sales are booming. It's more the exception than the rule for most Australian workplaces right now though.


We have an unemployment rate of 5.2 per cent. While periods of unemployment are distressing for anyone, your whole month of underemployment is not exactly the most scary proposition I have ever heard of.

redcliffe They can get the extremely generous middle class welfare or family tax benefit from the day they arrive if they have kids. They usually have half a dozen on arrival or soon after.

Let me guess, you're a troll from Brisbane. Don't like the brown much up there, eh?
 
2012-12-06 06:19:08 AM  
I'm a bit odd, I'm an Australian, but I'd love to live and work in New Zealand for a while. A different culture, and a more agreeable climate.

But yeah, mostly I lack the funds and motivation to actually go through with it.
 
2012-12-06 06:56:39 AM  

steerforth:
Let me guess, you're a troll from Brisbane. Don't like the brown much up there, eh?


Nah my problem is with welfare dependancy, particularly on middle class welfare. Too many people on way high incomes demanding their government welfare...
 
2012-12-06 09:34:37 AM  
I would gladly take a free ticket to Australia.

Any offers?
 
2012-12-06 09:45:51 AM  
Is Zoe 'the cat' Bell unemployed?
files.mymovies.dk
Because if that Ziwi needs a place to stay I will spring for a one way ticket to my house.
 
2012-12-06 09:04:13 PM  

Crewmannumber6: The_Sponge: On a very special episode of "Flight of the Concords".....

My grandad met my grandmum in Australia. And by 'met' I mean raped.


Scuse me I gotta go murder a brown snake
 
2012-12-06 11:06:57 PM  

steerforth: Aussie_As: starsrift: Australia's pretty hungry for employees right now, so this makes a lot of sense.

As an Australian administration contractor (with much experience in a range of environments doing a broad range of challenging work looking for relatively simple work for which I should be vastly overqualified) whose last government employment contract ran out in October and who just spent most of the last month terrifyingly underemployed, I think this is changing fast. A lot of Australian companies are shrinking and laying off workers. Mining is slowing down for the time being, governments are cutting services to the bone and offering voluntary redundancies, job ads are well down. The last six months have all been bad news, even if we're better off than many because our financial regulatory systems (one of few things I'll compliment former Treasurer Peter Costello for) worked when many were going mad on the global financial bubble.

Thankfully I found a job which should run a few months or longer with a private company. I won't name it but it's a multinational distribution firm with 'independent distributors' (ie members of the public) selling to their friends and signing up new members for fun and profit. Their business model is holding up really well in this time of belt-tightening and sales are booming. It's more the exception than the rule for most Australian workplaces right now though.

We have an unemployment rate of 5.2 per cent. While periods of unemployment are distressing for anyone, your whole month of underemployment is not exactly the most scary proposition I have ever heard of.

redcliffe They can get the extremely generous middle class welfare or family tax benefit from the day they arrive if they have kids. They usually have half a dozen on arrival or soon after.

Let me guess, you're a troll from Brisbane. Don't like the brown much up there, eh?


redcliffe sounds more like my dad from suburban Sydney. Ignorance can be found in all parts of Australia. And the world for that matter.
 
2012-12-06 11:09:24 PM  

doczoidberg: I would gladly take a free ticket to Australia.

Any offers?


I was going to suggest we swap places for a couple of years. Then I saw Detroit in your profile.
 
Displayed 66 of 66 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report