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(Mother Jones)   Texas secessionists have a PAC now, for some reason   (motherjones.com) divider line 208
    More: Stupid, Texas, patriot movement, perennial candidate, Texas Ethics Commission  
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2518 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Dec 2012 at 2:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-05 02:13:06 PM
The Texas Nationalist Movement's foray into the world of campaign finance is its biggest step yet in an effort to enter-and eventually become-the political mainstream. It's also peaceful, which is a noted break from another modern-day Texas secession movement, the Republic of Texas, which was helmed by an eccentric named Richard McLaren who launched an armed invasion and occupation of his neighbor's house in Far West Texas in the 1990s.

TNM-PAC doesn't mention any specific candidates it plans to support, but from the site it's possible to speculate. Perennial candidate Larry Kilgore, who recently changed his middle name to "SECEDE" (yes, allcaps), received 250,000 votes in the 2008 GOP Senate primary and is planning on running for governor in two years. (Among his other issues: instituting the death penalty as a punishment for adultery) The group also touts on its site a November lecture on secession by Wes Riddle, a blogger and historic theater owner who lost a 2010 U.S. House primary despite picking up an endorsement from retiring Rep. Ron Paul.


Wow. Where to start? I'm fairly tickled by the armed invasion of a neighbor's house.
 
2012-12-05 02:17:43 PM
I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..
 
2012-12-05 02:19:24 PM
Gotta be a weird feeling to love your country so much you wish to secede from it.
 
2012-12-05 02:20:15 PM

homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..


I think they'd just bring in Puerto Rico and keep it at an even 50.
 
2012-12-05 02:23:14 PM
Please just let them go. Then maybe all the other ignorant crackerasscrackers in the rest of the country would move there so they could be "free".
 
2012-12-05 02:24:15 PM
Texas secessionists have a PAC now, for some reason

Because they're rubes. A few people will get rich, and these f*cking crybabies will get fleeced.
 
2012-12-05 02:27:14 PM

Nadie_AZ: homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.
After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..
I think they'd just bring in Puerto Rico and keep it at an even 50.



I'm ok with that. For a while, it would be 49 (unless PR moved first). What mrore, the idea that Puerto Rico would be the replacement for TX warms my heart as well.
 
2012-12-05 02:31:44 PM
Where do I send my check?
 
2012-12-05 02:34:14 PM
Colonialist cosplay ain't free.
 
2012-12-05 02:34:31 PM

Dusk-You-n-Me: Gotta be a weird feeling to love your country so much you wish to secede from it.


www.nbc.com
Unavailable for comment
 
2012-12-05 02:35:19 PM
DO IT

DO IT

DO IT

DO IT
 
2012-12-05 02:36:00 PM
That reason is probably money laundering for the cartels.
 
2012-12-05 02:36:10 PM
lol. if texas secedes, the GOP will never win the presidency ever again. i don't think they've thought their cunning plan all the way through...
 
2012-12-05 02:37:25 PM
Do you think they accept my soveriegn nation check?

I'll even write it for one brazillion dollars.
 
2012-12-05 02:38:07 PM
Grant them their wishes: take away their citizenship.
 
2012-12-05 02:38:53 PM

Lionel Mandrake: Texas secessionists have a PAC now, for some reason

Because they're rubes. A few people will get rich, and these f*cking crybabies will get fleeced.


Yup. I came in here to write "for $ome rea$on?"
 
2012-12-05 02:39:19 PM
Again, it's just too easy to fleece money from these rubes.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS FIRST?!?
 
2012-12-05 02:40:55 PM
Anyone want to start a PAC for kicking out Texas?
 
2012-12-05 02:41:04 PM

JolobinSmokin: Do you think they accept my soveriegn nation check?

I'll even write it for one brazillion dollars.


Only if your flag has gold fringe.
 
2012-12-05 02:41:05 PM

NowhereMon: Where do I send my check?


Don't write a check. Just go the bank and get a bunch $100 bills and then burn them. It will keep your hands warm for a minute or two, which is more than you'll get if you give these guys a check.
 
2012-12-05 02:41:29 PM
Secs-PAC?
 
2012-12-05 02:41:40 PM
All of the idiots who want to secede need to realize that the borders are open and that they can leave any time they want. Then the rest of us can go on, happy in their absence.
 
2012-12-05 02:41:52 PM
TNM-PAC doesn't mention any specific candidates it plans to support, but from the site it's possible to speculate. Perennial candidate Larry Kilgore, who recently changed his middle name to "SECEDE" (yes, allcaps), received 250,000 votes in the 2008 GOP Senate primary and is planning on running for governor in two years.


Larry SECEDE Kilgore? I would've thought Texas would be hard pressed to find someone stupider than Rick "Oops" Perry-- but, apparently, not so much.
 
2012-12-05 02:42:40 PM
Sell the place to Mexico.
 
2012-12-05 02:42:55 PM

DeltaPunch: Again, it's just too easy to fleece money from these rubes.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS FIRST?!?


i970.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-05 02:43:37 PM
You wanna succeed, dicklicks? Do it. Get the f*ck out of this state and get the f*ck out of this country. If you hate it here so much, f*cking leave. assholes.
 
2012-12-05 02:44:12 PM
F*CK! secede. Dammit. dammit dammit dammit.
 
2012-12-05 02:44:30 PM
Brat PAC.
 
2012-12-05 02:45:47 PM
This makes it soooo much easier to identify the anti-American traitors in our midst.
 
2012-12-05 02:46:48 PM
Reasons we should keep Texas: Large manufacturing and infrastructure investment, Houston space center, lots of military bases that would need shuttering, Austin, tacos.

Reasons to get rid of Texas: it's farking Texas.

Sorry Texans, this one is really a toss up for the rest of us.
 
2012-12-05 02:47:13 PM
Step 1. Texas secedes from the Union.
Step 2. US invades Texas, takes all their stuff, sells Texas to Mexico.
Step 3. Profit, profit, and PROFIT!

It's mostly desert, with a hostile government, and they have oil. It's been done before.

/I'll sign your petition.
 
2012-12-05 02:47:17 PM

JolobinSmokin: Do you think they accept my soveriegn nation check?

I'll even write it for one brazillion dollars.



I'm going to send them a sight draft for the entire value of my U.S. Treasury strawman account.
 
2012-12-05 02:47:44 PM
Bring on the new People's Democratic Republic of Upper Mexico!
 
2012-12-05 02:48:13 PM

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: F*CK! secede. Dammit. dammit dammit dammit.


Don't worry about it. Too many people make that mistake and don't even realise they've use the wrong word.

I can't decide is clamouring for your state to succeed should be grounds for automatic denial or automatic approval.
 
2012-12-05 02:48:15 PM
It was only a matter of time until someone saw an opportunity to sacrifice morals for money so I am not really that surprised.
 
2012-12-05 02:48:49 PM

Rhomboid Goatcabin: Sell the place to Mexico.



heck.....give it back to Mexico.

I wouldn't even try to claim the 5 cent deposit.
 
2012-12-05 02:49:32 PM
As someone who lives in Fort Worth, this will bring me years of unending entertainment. Watching tears of impotent rage roll down the cheeks of those who would rather speak in hyperbole, pursuing an unfeasible and self-defeating goal rather than truly try to correct the pile of issues upon which they heave their extremism and traitorous rhetoric, is quite possibly the best and most deserved schadenfreude.
 
2012-12-05 02:50:45 PM
Looks like y'all have an 'merikun version of Quebec on yer hands!
It's a shame they don't babble in a different language like our secessionist traitors.
Makes it a lot easier on the head when you can't understand WTF they're saying.
 
2012-12-05 02:50:48 PM

homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.


I'm considering forming one next election season. I can put together a political ad. I could pay myself most of the money I raise. Seems like all you need is decent branding...
 
2012-12-05 02:52:31 PM
www.biography.com
 
2012-12-05 02:53:00 PM
Well, I guess I have to move back to Louisiana. Texas - Federal money = Mexico North. New motto: Forget the Alamo.
 
2012-12-05 02:53:15 PM

Dusk-You-n-Me: Gotta be a weird feeling to love your country so much you wish to secede from it.


Wingnuts have no capacity for love. They only know fear, and its most visible byproduct, hate. When a Wingnut says it "loves" something, it is really saying it fears that thing slightly less than everything else.
 
2012-12-05 02:53:19 PM
On principle I almost never do, but if I WERE to support the adding of Americans to some sort of watchlist...
 
2012-12-05 02:54:08 PM
Really hard to believe the claims that Texas will go purple in 10 years.
 
2012-12-05 02:54:28 PM

oldfarthenry: Looks like y'all have an 'merikun version of Quebec on yer hands!
It's a shame they don't babble in a different language like our secessionist traitors.
Makes it a lot easier on the head when you can't understand WTF they're saying.


You've never heard Texans or southerners "talk", have you?
 
2012-12-05 02:54:54 PM
I want to make it very clear here: This does not misrepresent Texas or Texans.

When you give a Republican power, you give power to these people, you give power to the kind of people who wouldn't cross these people, who won't be seen to deny them their causes.
 
2012-12-05 02:55:59 PM
I feel like one of those people who are standing on the sidewalk yelling "JUMP" to a distraught person on the roof. I never understood that mentality. Until now.

DO IT TEXAS! PLEASE!

You can elect your own president (I am sure that Rick Perry will not win that election).

/and you can take a couple of other states with you.
 
2012-12-05 02:56:10 PM

oldfarthenry: It's a shame they don't babble in a different language like our secessionist traitors.
Makes it a lot easier on the head when you can't understand WTF they're saying.



0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2012-12-05 02:56:39 PM
Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?
 
2012-12-05 02:57:33 PM
Sometimes I think that if Lincoln had just let the Confederates go, we'd all be happier today.
 
2012-12-05 02:58:11 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-05 02:58:39 PM
How about this, Puerto Rico is in, Texas is out. we keep 50 stars and Mexico can invade that place.
 
2012-12-05 02:58:41 PM
What are these assholes waiting for? Last I checked, they were free to pack up their shiat and move to another place more to their liking.

Oh, they want to take the land, infrastructure, industry and natural resources with them?

Yeah, that was settled 147 years ago. Sorry.


Bon Voyage!
 
2012-12-05 02:59:46 PM
Fleecing the money is the easy part.

The fun part is winding them up to go commit treason after.
 
2012-12-05 03:00:03 PM

Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?


presscoverage.us
 
2012-12-05 03:00:17 PM

NeverDrunk23: Really hard to believe the claims that Texas will go purple in 10 years.


well, if this is the opposition, will the next generation stray far from Texan Ds?

hiker9999: oldfarthenry: Looks like y'all have an 'merikun version of Quebec on yer hands!
It's a shame they don't babble in a different language like our secessionist traitors.
Makes it a lot easier on the head when you can't understand WTF they're saying.

You've never heard Texans or southerners "talk", have you?


well, he is Canadian
 
2012-12-05 03:01:49 PM
Let them go!!!

But at some point, Kilgore should probably review how well that went for McLaren...he got life, or 100 years or something for his little stunt aimed at "keeping us REAHL MERRICUNS free".
 
2012-12-05 03:04:12 PM

Philip Francis Queeg: Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?

[presscoverage.us image 336x637]


He's already busy with the Thousand Years of Darkness he promised.
 
2012-12-05 03:04:42 PM
FTFA: Membership in the pro-secession Texas Nationalist Movement has increased 400 percent since President Barack Obama won re-election on November 5-or so the TMN claims.

Because going from 4 people to 16 is increasing 400% and sounds better than "12 more people"...

Actual numbers arbitrary, point made.
 
2012-12-05 03:07:22 PM

timujin: Please just let them go. Then maybe all the other ignorant crackerasscrackers in the rest of the country would move there so they could be "free".


Okay, but then you'd have a state filled with Authoritarian types who have become accustomed to getting echo-chamber propaganda news from a single source. They'd have a chunk of our military men, and financing from megacorps who'd suck them dry as they've been all this time.

So, even assuming that the war didn't start when they left -- once things started to go bad, how long before they'd be whipped into invading the rest of the country? Ya'know, because the Liberal States of America was going to invade them, inevitably, and force them to have abortions, give up their guns, and turn muslim? And the best distraction for domestic problems is a foreign war, after all.
 
2012-12-05 03:07:27 PM
I find it funny that people are willing to attach their names to stuff like this that become public record and can be easily searched on the internet. Do these people realize what kind of damage they are doing to their future by associating their names with crap like this, that is never going to happen and they know it, just to stick it Obama and Liberals? I'm pretty sure that any future employer or potential future associate that Googles their name and finds this, unless they are a mouth breathing paranoid racist also, is not going to want to be associated with somebody that is not only delusional, but is also dumb enough to associate themselves with crap like this.
 
2012-12-05 03:08:02 PM

Philip Francis Queeg: Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?

[presscoverage.us image 336x637]



What? You mean *Carlos*?
 
2012-12-05 03:10:20 PM

theknuckler_33: Lionel Mandrake: Texas secessionists have a PAC now, for some reason

Because they're rubes. A few people will get rich, and these f*cking crybabies will get fleeced.

Yup. I came in here to write "for $ome rea$on?"


This. A few PAC owners will get rich off of this.
 
2012-12-05 03:11:01 PM

jonas opines: timujin: Please just let them go. Then maybe all the other ignorant crackerasscrackers in the rest of the country would move there so they could be "free".

Okay, but then you'd have a state filled with Authoritarian types who have become accustomed to getting echo-chamber propaganda news from a single source. They'd have a chunk of our military men, and financing from megacorps who'd suck them dry as they've been all this time.

So, even assuming that the war didn't start when they left -- once things started to go bad, how long before they'd be whipped into invading the rest of the country? Ya'know, because the Liberal States of America was going to invade them, inevitably, and force them to have abortions, give up their guns, and turn muslim? And the best distraction for domestic problems is a foreign war, after all.


Ahh but that's the beautiful part of the plan. We have cleverly surrounded Texas with a cordon of worthless wasteland. New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana. By the time they got to anyplace worth fighting for they'd be exhausted and easily defeated.
 
2012-12-05 03:12:12 PM
Adios Amigos.
 
2012-12-05 03:13:13 PM

Saborlas: DeltaPunch: Again, it's just too easy to fleece money from these rubes.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS FIRST?!?

[i970.photobucket.com image 400x323]


We can start our own PAC with hookers and derp. The derp is really just a front to pay for the hookers!
 
2012-12-05 03:13:31 PM
Among his other issues: instituting the death penalty as a punishment for adultery

You don't need to secede. Just farking move to the Middle East. I'm sure you'd feel right at home.
 
2012-12-05 03:13:44 PM
Where do I donate?
 
2012-12-05 03:15:10 PM
"We have heard them threaten to secede so often that I have formed an enthusiastic organization -- The American Friends for Texas Secession. This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede, but they don't want anybone to want them to."

--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p 174
 
2012-12-05 03:16:28 PM

ongbok: Do these people realize what kind of damage they are doing to their future by associating their names with crap like this, that is never going to happen and they know it, just to stick it Obama and Liberals?


You don't understand. Sticking It To The Liberals is the most important thing of all - indeed, it is literally THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS. All else pales in comparison.
 
2012-12-05 03:16:38 PM
and then what? war with the US?
 
2012-12-05 03:17:04 PM

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: Adios Amigos.


About 19 seconds in.

// best beer commercial EVAR
 
2012-12-05 03:18:14 PM

maddogdelta: "We have heard them threaten to secede so often that I have formed an enthusiastic organization -- The American Friends for Texas Secession. This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede, but they don't want anybone to want them to."

--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p 174


Imagine, as a teenage runaway, discovering that your parents really were happy with you gone
 
2012-12-05 03:19:17 PM

ongbok: I'm pretty sure that any future employer or potential future associate that Googles their name and finds this, unless they are a mouth breathing paranoid racist also, is not going to want to be associated with somebody that is not only delusional, but is also dumb enough to associate themselves with crap like this.



In Texas you might be more apt to get a callback if you let your derp flag fly.
 
2012-12-05 03:21:48 PM

maddogdelta: "We have heard them threaten to secede so often that I have formed an enthusiastic organization -- The American Friends for Texas Secession. This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede, but they don't want anybone to want them to."

--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p 174


That's awesome
 
2012-12-05 03:22:06 PM
i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-12-05 03:22:28 PM

Headso: ongbok: I'm pretty sure that any future employer or potential future associate that Googles their name and finds this, unless they are a mouth breathing paranoid racist also, is not going to want to be associated with somebody that is not only delusional, but is also dumb enough to associate themselves with crap like this.


In Texas you might be more apt to get a callback if you let your derp flag fly.


In much the same way an enormous amount of gang ink can improve your quality of life (in the prison that is).
 
2012-12-05 03:23:34 PM
So do serious social commentators like Stephen Colbert and comedians like Sarah Palin.
 
2012-12-05 03:23:51 PM

Dr Dreidel: The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: Adios Amigos.

About 19 seconds in.

// best beer commercial EVAR


lulz, that was pretty good
 
2012-12-05 03:24:08 PM

homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..


Nonsense. We won't have to change the flag or slogans at all as we can pick up Puerto Rico as a quick replacement.
 
2012-12-05 03:24:38 PM
If I may speak from the rest of the US, Texas, please leave. Take a few of your neighbors with you. No really, leave. All the good Texans of yesteryear are just that.
 
2012-12-05 03:25:57 PM

Semantic Warrior: FTFA: Membership in the pro-secession Texas Nationalist Movement has increased 400 percent since President Barack Obama won re-election on November 5-or so the TMN claims.

Because going from 4 people to 16 is increasing 400% and sounds better than "12 more people"...

Actual numbers arbitrary, point made.


Something about using percentages to illustrate an increase has always bothered me. It's vague: Would a double in membership be called "100% increase" or "200% increase?" So then does a 400% increase mean they've added 400% of their original number (and are therefore now at 500%) or that they've increased to 400% of their original number?
 
2012-12-05 03:29:40 PM

mrlewish: Anyone want to start a PAC for kicking out Texas?


Another FARK Brain-Storm!
Who says we have to wait for them to leave on their own? Why can't the rest of us just kick out the knuckle-draggers?
"I'm sorry but your state has failed the "Basic Intelligence Test" again. You will be getting your eviction notice in the mail. Then the mail will stop. Kthnxbye."
 
2012-12-05 03:31:54 PM

Black_Lazerus: 2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?


Maybe it's a Mexican-influenced PAC?
 
2012-12-05 03:40:03 PM
www.optier.com

STEP RIGHT UP!!!

Miracle Secession Oil cures all forms of Socialisms! Brings a spring back into the step of the downtrodden Patriot! Prevents And Protects against the Kenyan Flu! Use for 16 -18 weeks for best results

Only 3 easy payments of $19.95 for a two-week supply!

Full Satisfaction Guaranteeeeed!*


*Satisfaction not guaranteed.
 
2012-12-05 03:43:52 PM

NallTWD: How about this, Puerto Rico is in, Texas is out. we keep 50 stars and Mexico can invade that place.


Yeah, they tried that already.

Didn't work out too well.

ekballo.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-05 03:44:37 PM
Why would we want Texas out? They'll likely be a swing state within 15 years. Imagine the years when Cali, Texas, and Ohio go blue. All the wailing and tearing of hair.

Also if they leave, forget PR,, lets get American Samoa in for another Pacific vacation destination. Or Guam. Or get Korea and Japan on the phone and get started on some world government amalgamation.

/can you imagine Texans faces if we showed them the door and then cut a deal with 200 million Asians?
 
2012-12-05 03:45:04 PM
Yup. Pretty much all the border states have secessionist groups hanging out there for some reason, though how much play they get in the news sort of varies with how slow the news day is at the state level and how much anyone at the national level actually gives a fark about the state.

California has a decent number of them, for example, but it fails on the first point, there's almost always something else going on in politics or society in CA that drowns them out.

Like a tenth of the population of Montana are secessionists, excuse me, "sovereign citizens", but no one in the national news gives a flying fark because no one in the US cares about Montana, not even people in Montana.

Texas is sort of in the unhappy medium-- we're the second most popular state by a long shot, and we've got close economic and social ties to a farkton of other states for basically the same "giant port city and fossil fuels" reason CA does, so the national news feels obligated to have stories about us... but unlike CA, our politics is pretty stable, and while our industries are big and pretty farking sweet if I do say so myself, they're not exactly up to Hollywood for flash and headlines. So... you have to kinda go looking for shiat to write about, and for all that they're just as impotent here as in every other state, the secessionists are at least crazy enough to make a decent story in a set of news outlets that require at least three snookies of crazy and three millipalins of stupid to get any readers.

rosebud_the_sled: If I may speak from the rest of the US, Texas, please leave. Take a few of your neighbors with you. No really, leave. All the good Texans of yesteryear are just that.


If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there). Those four states are 32% of the population and about 1/3 of the US GDP between them.

The US would actually be hurt significantly if Texas left, stop pretending otherwise. Especially if you don't live in one of the big four. Actually, even if you do, because that's still failing basic logic and economics no matter where you live.

//If you look at Just CA and TX it's still about 20% population and 1/5 of the GDP.
 
2012-12-05 03:45:55 PM
Does this mean zombie Sam Houston is going to come back and start another Archive War? I bet the traffic has gotten a lot worse since then.
 
2012-12-05 03:46:51 PM

Maud Dib: NallTWD: How about this, Puerto Rico is in, Texas is out. we keep 50 stars and Mexico can invade that place.

Yeah, they tried that already.

Didn't work out too well.

[ekballo.files.wordpress.com image 527x350]


Texas GSP: 1.2 trillion
Mexico GDP: 1.16 trillion

All Mexico has going for it as a population advantage. Assuming Texas could get the weapons to deal with the human wave, I get Texas the edge.
 
2012-12-05 03:48:52 PM

Negligible: As someone who lives in Fort Worth, this will bring me years of unending entertainment. Watching tears of impotent rage roll down the cheeks of those who would rather speak in hyperbole, pursuing an unfeasible and self-defeating goal rather than truly try to correct the pile of issues upon which they heave their extremism and traitorous rhetoric, is quite possibly the best and most deserved schadenfreude.


Off topic :

Where in fort worth? Im in fairmount. We need a fort worth fark meetup.
 
2012-12-05 03:49:29 PM

mrlewish: Anyone want to start a PAC for kicking out Texas?



Why would we want to do that? Wait 10 years and they'll be a swing state - if not blue.

These "secessionist" idiots just want to secede before that happens so they can suppress the minority voters - and keep the state in the hands of white christians - without the feds stopping them.
 
2012-12-05 03:54:10 PM

Jim_Callahan: If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there). Those four states are 32% of the population and about 1/3 of the US GDP between them.

The US would actually be hurt significantly if Texas left, stop pretending otherwise. Especially if you don't live in one of the big four. Actually, even if you do, because that's still failing basic logic and economics no matter where you live.


If Texas actually left I would think companies would relocate out of that country because they offer no protections to shipping lanes and contract law nor could they give permission to use waters for mining and oil extraction that they have no ability to control.
 
2012-12-05 03:55:03 PM
Maybe I should start one of these for Florida. I could use some money.
 
2012-12-05 03:56:58 PM
Secessionists = Tea Party 2.0

This will be how the GOP controls the house in2014.
 
2012-12-05 03:57:13 PM

homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..


Speaking on behalf of the 49 UNITED states, don't let the doorknob get stuck in your asshole on the way out!
 
2012-12-05 03:57:48 PM

Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?


Does the mexican army have significantly better weaponry than your average Texan?
 
2012-12-05 03:57:55 PM

ha-ha-guy:
All Mexico has going for it as a population advantage. Assuming Texas could get the weapons to deal with the human wave, I get Texas the edge.


Haber F-16, amigo.

www.richard-seaman.com
 
2012-12-05 03:58:12 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: Secessionists = Tea Party 2.0.


It's a logical progression.
 
2012-12-05 04:02:51 PM
**New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

Liberals Link
Democrats Link
Socialists Link
Community Organizers Link
Geologists Link
Biologists Link
Meteorologists Link
Climatologists Link
Atheists Link
Muslims Link
Jews
Satan
ABC
NBC
CNN
CBS
PBS
All of cable news except FNC
The New York Times
The LA Times
The Washington Post
The Associated Press
Reuters
BBC
The Guardian
Black People
Mexicans
Human Rights Activists
SCOTUS
Europe
Movie Industry
Television Industry
Environmentalists
ACLU
The United Nations
Labor Unions Link
Colleges
Teachers (including kindergarten teachers) Link
Professors
Astrophysicists Link
ACORN Link
Planned Parenthood Link
National Endowment for the Arts Link
Fashion Industry Link
Gays
Judges Link
NPR Link
Paleontologists
Astrophysicists
Museums (*except Creationism Museum)
WHO
WTO
Inflated tires Link
The Honolulu Advertiser Link
The Star Bulletin Link
Teletubbies Link
Sponge Bob and Patrick Link
Nobel Prize Committee Link
US Census Bureau Link
Standard & Poor's Link
SimCity Link
NOAA
Sesame Street Link
Comic Books Link
Dogs Link
Little Green Footballs Link
Video Games Link
The Bible Link
CBO Link
Bruce Springsteen Link
Pennies
Warren Buffet Link
The Theory of Relativity Link
Comedy Central Link
Young People
whatever the hell a Justin Beiber is Link
Small Business Owners Link
Math Link
CPAC updated Link
Navy SEALs Link
The Economist
The Muppets Link
Iowa Republicans
Low-Flow Toilets Link
Rainbows Link
United States Secret Service Link
Breast Cancer Screenings Link
Chrysler Link
Clint Eastwood. Link
Robert Deniro Link
Tom Hanks Link
Glenn Frey Link
Bono Link
Bono Impersonators Link
Former Republican Senator Alan Simpson Link
Norman Rockwell Link
James Cameron Link
Dr. Seus
The Brookings Institution link
Tax Policy Center link
Nuns Link
Supreme Court Justice John Roberts Link
Jonathan Krohn at age 17 Link
Fact Checkers Link
Pollsters Link
Australia Link
Mitt Romney
Rasmussen
Fox News
Lockheed Martin Link
Bureau of Labor Statistics Link
Paul Ryan Link
Debate moderators Link
Google Link
Ben Stein Link
Soup kitchens updated Link
Chris Christie Link
Nate Silver (FiveThirtyEight.com) Link
Fox Polling Link
US Postal Service
Associated Press
Hurricanes Link
Susan Collins Link
Lisa Murkowski Link
Dean Heller Link
Mark Kirk Link
Lindsey Graham Link
Governor Bobby Jindal Link
General Petreaus Link
Saxby Chambliss Link
God Link
Girl Scouts Link
Boston Tea Party Link
Vegetables Link
American Indians Link
John Boehner Link
United States of America Link


More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.

thanks to the many for finding the links
 
2012-12-05 04:03:29 PM
As a Steelers fan, let me say that I hope they do it before the playoffs...Houston is going to be a force to be reckoned with
 
2012-12-05 04:03:38 PM

queezyweezel: Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?

Does the mexican army have significantly better weaponry than your average Texan?


Army, no. Drug cartels, maybe.
 
2012-12-05 04:05:58 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

.


Here's your Postal Service link..

Link
 
2012-12-05 04:07:37 PM

Maud Dib: Britney Spear's Speculum: **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

.

Here's your Postal Service link..

Link


Nice, link added
 
2012-12-05 04:10:46 PM

hiker9999: oldfarthenry: Looks like y'all have an 'merikun version of Quebec on yer hands!
It's a shame they don't babble in a different language like our secessionist traitors.
Makes it a lot easier on the head when you can't understand WTF they're saying.

You've never heard Texans or southerners "talk", have you?


Yeah, it's only slightly more intelligible than that mealy mouth garble from Boston, Queens, Westchester, etc.
 
2012-12-05 04:13:06 PM

ha-ha-guy: queezyweezel: Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?

Does the mexican army have significantly better weaponry than your average Texan?

Army, no. Drug cartels, maybe.


You don't think the Mexican Army is better armed than the average Texan? Didn't know that the average Texas citizen had tanks, fighter jets, etc.
 
2012-12-05 04:14:08 PM
This is awesome! Conservatives please flush your campaign contributions down the shiatter and not on election campaigns of Republicans.
 
2012-12-05 04:14:35 PM

machodonkeywrestler: hiker9999: oldfarthenry: Looks like y'all have an 'merikun version of Quebec on yer hands!
It's a shame they don't babble in a different language like our secessionist traitors.
Makes it a lot easier on the head when you can't understand WTF they're saying.

You've never heard Texans or southerners "talk", have you?

Yeah, it's only slightly more intelligible than that mealy mouth garble from Boston, Queens, Westchester, etc.


Queens?. Where are you from, Brooklyn?
 
2012-12-05 04:14:52 PM
I'd love to see Mexico invade and take it back. Now that would be a hoot!
 
2012-12-05 04:18:55 PM
Dear Mr. Fartbongo,

Please let them go.

That is all
 
2012-12-05 04:21:12 PM
Why wouldn't there be a PAC? Grifters gotta grift, and these secessionist toolboxes are just begging to get scammed for "donations".
 
2012-12-05 04:21:46 PM
Back in the 1960's, when young people were protesting the Viet Nam war, the older people and a lot of rednecks would counter that protest with signs stating:


AMERICA, LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT!


Now the old people and rednecks want to secede. Maybe they should just take the advice of those other old people and rednecks.
 
2012-12-05 04:24:20 PM
1) Set up Derptard PAC
2) Make yourself a paid "consultant" for said PAC
3) Profit!!!
 
2012-12-05 04:24:49 PM

oldfarthenry: Looks like y'all have an 'merikun version of Quebec on yer hands!
It's a shame they don't babble in a different language like our secessionist traitors.
Makes it a lot easier on the head when you can't understand WTF they're saying.


You have never heard a real TX drawl have you. You can most likely make out what they say but it takes a week fro them to say it.
 
2012-12-05 04:25:25 PM

homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..


We could let Puerto Rico in so we don't have to change flags.
 
2012-12-05 04:36:32 PM

Maud Dib: Britney Spear's Speculum: **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

.

Here's your Postal Service link..

Link


Noted.
 
2012-12-05 04:36:53 PM
Stop. Don't. Come back.
 
2012-12-05 04:46:20 PM
Perennial candidate Larry Kilgore, who recently changed his middle name to "SECEDE" (yes, allcaps), received 250,000 votes in the 2008 GOP Senate primary and is planning on running for governor in two years. (Among his other issues: instituting the death penalty as a punishment for adultery)

Well that will win friends and influence people
 
2012-12-05 04:46:50 PM
STOP STALLING AND GO
 
2012-12-05 04:47:46 PM
COME AT ME UNION!

mjcdn.motherjones.com
 
2012-12-05 04:51:31 PM

mjjt: Perennial candidate Larry Kilgore, who recently changed his middle name to "SECEDE" (yes, allcaps), received 250,000 votes in the 2008 GOP Senate primary and is planning on running for governor in two years. (Among his other issues: instituting the death penalty as a punishment for adultery)

Well that will win friends and influence people


Presumably he is courting Gingrich supporters with this?
 
2012-12-05 04:52:56 PM
Go. And take your pathetic whimpering conservative butthurt with you.
 
2012-12-05 04:57:10 PM

SeedFreak: homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..

Nonsense. We won't have to change the flag or slogans at all as we can pick up Puerto Rico as a quick replacement.


Or grant DC statehood.
 
2012-12-05 04:57:29 PM
Why do they need a PAC? Don't Texans all believe that story about being able to leave whenever they want?
 
2012-12-05 04:57:29 PM
Let me guess, these people think that when Texas leaves it is going to get to keep all those neat toys that the Federal government currently gives them.
 
2012-12-05 04:58:25 PM

boobsrgood: Go. And take your pathetic whimpering conservative butthurt with you.


Land for peace.
 
2012-12-05 04:58:39 PM

SomeoneDumb: Why do they need a PAC? Don't Texans all believe that story about being able to leave whenever they want?


Grifters gotta grift.
 
2012-12-05 04:58:54 PM
i53.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-05 05:02:58 PM
Hey, I have a better Idea than seceding if you don't like Obama, get the state legislature to approve the Corwin Amendment,

It was approved by both houses of congress and most of the blue states already legislatures voted for it in the 1860s to try and prevent the Civil War. If the red southern and western states that haven't approved it yet did so it could go into effect and Obama would be someones property as there would be no more 13th amendment

/Just trolling
//not at all in favor of such things.
///We all know the butthurt is from people that are upset because the President is a Ni-bong
 
2012-12-05 05:08:37 PM
Late to the thread, but I'm assuming it's to get the money coming from secessionist rubes flowing into the coffers of some smart and topical grifters.
 
2012-12-05 05:11:05 PM
So, uh, theoretically, if someone wanted to start a PAC to promote something incredibly stupid that would widely appeal to incredibly stupid people, what are the regulations? Can you pay yourself some huge salary and spend $10 on putting up flyers you printed out?

/Would LOVE to see Texas secede.
 
2012-12-05 05:13:03 PM

theorellior: Late to the thread, but I'm assuming it's to get the money coming from secessionist rubes flowing into the coffers of some smart and topical grifters.


Pretty damn much.
 
2012-12-05 05:13:34 PM

Oldiron_79: Hey, I have a better Idea than seceding if you don't like Obama, get the state legislature to approve the Corwin Amendment,

It was approved by both houses of congress and most of the blue states already legislatures voted for it in the 1860s to try and prevent the Civil War. If the red southern and western states that haven't approved it yet did so it could go into effect and Obama would be someones property as there would be no more 13th amendment

/Just trolling
//not at all in favor of such things.
///We all know the butthurt is from people that are upset because the President is a Ni-bong


"Most of the blue states already legislatures voted for it in the 1860s" is incorrect. The Corwin Amendment was only ratified by three states - Ohio (1861), Maryland, and Illinois (both in 1862, and the legality of Illinois' ratification is questioned), and Ohio rescinded their ratification in 1864.
 
2012-12-05 05:13:41 PM
I'll say it again, as I do every time this subject comes up: If the Texas Legislature were to vote to secede from the U.S., the majority of the people of Dallas, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, and El Paso would promptly move to secede from the State of Texas, and also would invite the U.S. armed forces in with open arms. Texas has a population of ~26 million -- and those five cities account for ~5.25 million of that. And probably more than half the wealth, one way or another.

Don't make the assumption that all Texans are alike, or that all of them agree with the desires of a tiny paranoid minority, which happens to exert more its share of power in the legislature. A serious attempt by the radical right wing to take Texas out of the union would kick off a civil war of major proportions WITHIN the state.
 
2012-12-05 05:18:34 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum, Mr Show Rules: **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

The Economist

Link

Link

 
2012-12-05 05:21:31 PM

SomeoneDumb: Why do they need a PAC? Don't Texans all believe that story about being able to leave whenever they want?


You should read some history before you post. Texas came into the union by a Joint Resolution of Congress, one clause of which allowed the state to subdivide itself into five states if it so chose. The total number of Representatives would remain the same, obviously, but the number of Senators would increase.

It was a reasonable option in 1845, given the size of the place relative to the size of the rest of the country. Nothing AT ALL was said about secession. The outcome of the Civil War constitutionally settled the question of state secession for good and all, but I don't know that that would have any effect on the subdivision clause in the Joint Resolution.
 
2012-12-05 05:21:53 PM

qorkfiend: SomeoneDumb: Why do they need a PAC? Don't Texans all believe that story about being able to leave whenever they want?

Grifters gotta grift.


True dat

/Hope it happens so that Austin seceding from Texas takes place
 
2012-12-05 05:23:52 PM

mksmith: SomeoneDumb: Why do they need a PAC? Don't Texans all believe that story about being able to leave whenever they want?

You should read some history before you post. Texas came into the union by a Joint Resolution of Congress, one clause of which allowed the state to subdivide itself into five states if it so chose. The total number of Representatives would remain the same, obviously, but the number of Senators would increase.

It was a reasonable option in 1845, given the size of the place relative to the size of the rest of the country. Nothing AT ALL was said about secession. The outcome of the Civil War constitutionally settled the question of state secession for good and all, but I don't know that that would have any effect on the subdivision clause in the Joint Resolution.


I'd heard and read that, but my comment was more about how so many Texans believe they can leave the US whenever they want, which may be how they interpret being able to become multiple states.
 
2012-12-05 05:26:07 PM
civilwarriors.net
images4.wikia.nocookie.net 

Go for it!

/Please.
 
2012-12-05 05:26:15 PM

Jim_Callahan: If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there) ...


There's been a "Texas would do great if it seceded" passed around on Facebook for months now, one of my Texas-proud FB friend shared it recently with the added comment along the lines of "Hell yeah, Texas!". I proceeded to demolish every ridiculous grand-standing bullet point in this drivel. One of my favorites was "Texas's military presence is huge, bigger than most other countries, we can protect ourselves!" No. Those are United States military installations. When the UNITED STATES pulls those bases out and all the military personnel from around the country leave the new country of Texas, you will not have a huge military. Many other hilarious claims of superiority were listed, I'd be happy to pass it along here with my comments added.

Go ahead, Texas. Do it. I'll move back to the US and watch your "country" struggle from afar.
 
2012-12-05 05:31:41 PM
If at first you don't secede...
 
2012-12-05 05:32:17 PM
mjcdn.motherjones.com

This is how I would picture what a Texas secessionist would look like.
 
2012-12-05 05:34:03 PM
Please do, you know how this ends

upload.wikimedia.org

www.celticguitarmusic.com

assets.nydailynews.com
 
2012-12-05 05:36:03 PM
If you aren't with us you're against us, amirite?
 
2012-12-05 05:36:50 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum, Mr Show Rules: : **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

 

Harvard Link
 
2012-12-05 05:38:35 PM

jesdynf: I want to make it very clear here: This does not misrepresent Texas or Texans.


Bullshiat. The god damn GOVERNOR was floating this sort of shiat during the primaries. Texans, ALL of them, are farking idiots. Either they voted for these dipshiats, or they were too farking stupid/lazy to convince their neighbors to not vote for these teabagging republicans. See also, Wisconsin.
 
2012-12-05 05:38:48 PM
YOU ARE NOT TAKING JOHNSON SPACE CENTER WITH YOU, YOU TEN GALLON SH*TBAGS!!
 
2012-12-05 05:39:34 PM

mksmith: SomeoneDumb: Why do they need a PAC? Don't Texans all believe that story about being able to leave whenever they want?

You should read some history before you post. Texas came into the union by a Joint Resolution of Congress, one clause of which allowed the state to subdivide itself into five states if it so chose. The total number of Representatives would remain the same, obviously, but the number of Senators would increase.

It was a reasonable option in 1845, given the size of the place relative to the size of the rest of the country. Nothing AT ALL was said about secession. The outcome of the Civil War constitutionally settled the question of state secession for good and all, but I don't know that that would have any effect on the subdivision clause in the Joint Resolution.


It is my understanding that the "five-state division" clause was part of the original terms of statehood, as a trade for the northern panhandle of the Republic of Texas (which extended all the way through present-day Colorado) being given to other territories. I don't believe that clause was included in Texas' terms of readmission during Reconstruction.
 
2012-12-05 05:41:06 PM

Kittypie070: YOU ARE NOT TAKING JOHNSON SPACE CENTER WITH YOU, YOU TEN GALLON SH*TBAGS!!


They're still pissed that the shuttle they got was in kit form
 
2012-12-05 05:43:43 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: They're still pissed that the shuttle they got was in kit form


Technically, Texas already got a shuttle.
 
2012-12-05 05:45:42 PM
Dear Texan secessionists:

If you're really serious about seceding, you won't be able to pull it off in Texas. You represent a tiny fraction of the overall population of Texas. If you want to make your vile treason to the Union a reality, consider your total numbers not against the population of Texas, but against the population of Alaska. They already have a secessionist movement. Please move there and stop making Texas look worse than it already is. I would like to go back to the days when Mississippi made us look sane by comparison.
 
2012-12-05 05:53:56 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Kittypie070: YOU ARE NOT TAKING JOHNSON SPACE CENTER WITH YOU, YOU TEN GALLON SH*TBAGS!!

They're still pissed that the shuttle they got was in kit form


It wasn't the State of Texas' fault, it was to a substantial degree the Unforgiven One's fault.
 
2012-12-05 05:55:09 PM
Good luck with that.

Just to be clear: even IF you could vote yourself out, that would mean that Fort Hood, Fort Bliss and the other pieces of US Federal property would either have to be bought, and cleared out. The US taxpayers paid for said property, not just the "sovereign state of Texas" so there would have to be time for a LOT of equipment to be moved, and what couldn't be, would have to be bought and paid for. That, or Texas would have US military bases within its borders, much like other nations have US military bases. There is also the matter of the Coast Guard, Air Force, the Federal buildings and the like. Texas, I suppose, could try to claim them, but that would likely trigger a less than appealing response from the folks who actually paid for the suckers. While Texas is all for taking over the facilities, I wonder how eager they are to take over the Federal prisons. Or take over responsibility for EPA sites...
 
2012-12-05 05:55:32 PM

Johnny Swank: The god damn GOVERNOR was floating this sort of shiat during the primaries. Texans, ALL of them, are farking idiots. Either they voted for these dipshiats, or they were too farking stupid/lazy to convince their neighbors to not vote for these teabagging republicans. See also, Wisconsin.


Err. I said it does not misrepresent; it's largely on target. This is what Texans are.

And yeah, failure has consequences, I know. I won't take another job in Texas if I have any choice; if and when I leave this job, I don't plan on sticking around.
 
2012-12-05 05:57:18 PM

theorellior: MaudlinMutantMollusk: They're still pissed that the shuttle they got was in kit form

Technically, Texas already got a shuttle.


Yeah... that's what I was saying

/some assembly required
 
2012-12-05 05:59:37 PM
As a liberal Texan, I'd like to apologize for this insanity.

I've always wondered what kind of currency secessionists would use since they all seem to believe that the dollar is going down the drain. Then I'd ask what all the large global businesses would do with all of their offices across the state. These folks like to talk about uncertainty, and I'd think that secession would inject quite of bit of it into the business climate in Texas, especially considering that this scrappy new nation would essentially have zero diplomatic ties with other countries, at least initially. Is it possible that the US would institute an embargo against Texas? What effect would that have on Texas businesses?

Also, millions of people here voted to re-elect President Obama. What happens if nearly half the state moves to remain a part of the US? What are senior citizens who rely on medicare and social security going to do once those payments are cut off? What is the Texas military going to do when the US repossesses all of its equipment? Texans would need passports to cross into any of the bordering US states, and I'm sure it would be awesome if major US Interstates were re-routed to go around Texas completely.

Do these people seriously believe that Texas will get to keep all the benefits of the US without being subject to all of the things they disagree with?
 
2012-12-05 06:00:27 PM

theorellior: MaudlinMutantMollusk: They're still pissed that the shuttle they got was in kit form

Technically, Texas already got a shuttle.


I lol'd.

/feel bad for it, but I did
 
2012-12-05 06:01:10 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: As a liberal Texan, I'd like to apologize for this insanity.

I've always wondered what kind of currency secessionists would use since they all seem to believe that the dollar is going down the drain. Then I'd ask what all the large global businesses would do with all of their offices across the state. These folks like to talk about uncertainty, and I'd think that secession would inject quite of bit of it into the business climate in Texas, especially considering that this scrappy new nation would essentially have zero diplomatic ties with other countries, at least initially. Is it possible that the US would institute an embargo against Texas? What effect would that have on Texas businesses?

Also, millions of people here voted to re-elect President Obama. What happens if nearly half the state moves to remain a part of the US? What are senior citizens who rely on medicare and social security going to do once those payments are cut off? What is the Texas military going to do when the US repossesses all of its equipment? Texans would need passports to cross into any of the bordering US states, and I'm sure it would be awesome if major US Interstates were re-routed to go around Texas completely.

Do these people seriously believe that Texas will get to keep all the benefits of the US without being subject to all of the things they disagree with?


I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.
 
2012-12-05 06:01:39 PM

maddogdelta: "We have heard them threaten to secede so often that I have formed an enthusiastic organization -- The American Friends for Texas Secession. This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede, but they don't want anybone to want them to."

--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p 174


This organization could really use a revival here on fark, maybe a meme to go with it too
 
2012-12-05 06:02:14 PM
We're called the UNITED States for a reason. You need us, and we sort of need you. Your secession fantasies belie your true emotional makeup:

You're goddamned children. All of you. Farking crybabies afraid of their own shadows despite the bluster and swagger.
 
2012-12-05 06:03:19 PM
Well, you can't legally leave unless the other 49 states agree to you leaving.

According to the Supreme Court (as decided in Texas v White), you have one other course of action.

When, therefore, Texas became one of the United States, she entered into an indissoluble relation. All the obligations of perpetual union, and all the guaranties of republican government in the Union, attached at once to the State. The act which consummated her admission into the Union was something more than a compact; it was the incorporation of a new member into the political body. And it was final. The union between Texas and the other States was as complete, as perpetual, and as indissoluble as the union between the original States. There was no place for reconsideration or revocation, except through revolution or through consent of the States.

You don't have the balls.
 
2012-12-05 06:09:40 PM

qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.


Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.
 
2012-12-05 06:13:23 PM
It's just a re-framing of this idiotic BS about "We want AAAALLLLL the fun and goodies and benefits but UTTERLY REFUSE to pay for them! Asking us to actually pay for the goodies is foulest tyranny!"

Now....just what and who do these f*cking yokels scream and rant about day after endless, wearying day?

Who do they point to?
 
2012-12-05 06:16:42 PM

Torgo_of_Manos: As a Steelers fan, let me say that I hope they do it before the playoffs...Houston is going to be a force to be reckoned with


Indeed. I'm really happy for those guys, though. I can't count how many years they started strong only to fizzle. But now they mean business. I know, I know, sports tab is thataway ---->
 
2012-12-05 06:17:02 PM
Ack, posted to wrong thread. What I picture those in favor of Texas secession look like:

i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-05 06:18:27 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.


Not to mention all those sweet Federal contracts that would sort of go *poof* as well. Not to mention having to come up with their own currency, and take care of all those pesky incidentals that the Fed sorts out now. Heck, no more FBI data bases, no more tracking even for legal or illegal immigrants, no more matching funds for Sheriffs departments or firefighters, and those pesky Ranger services, not to mention the National Parks.

Secessionists have such merry dreams, but have zero idea of exactly how wedded they are to the Fed and the rest of the country...
 
2012-12-05 06:19:51 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.


They've already got a foothold there, I'm sure.
 
2012-12-05 06:21:31 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Yeah... that's what I was saying

/some assembly required


Oh, duh. I thought you were talking about the Enterprise, although I don't know if that actually did end up at JSC.

I've having a string of Fark FAIL moments today.
 
2012-12-05 06:32:33 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.


You have an unsettling talent for hypothetical prognostication.
 
2012-12-05 06:32:36 PM

hubiestubert: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

Not to mention all those sweet Federal contracts that would sort of go *poof* as well. Not to mention having to come up with their own currency, and take care of all those pesky incidentals that the Fed sorts out now. Heck, no more FBI data bases, no more tracking even for legal or illegal immigrants, no more matching funds for Sheriffs departments or firefighters, and those pesky Ranger services, not to mention the National Parks.

Secessionists have such merry dreams, but have zero idea of exactly how wedded they are to the Fed and the rest of the country...


As a native Texan, and having lived here most of my life, I'd be sad to see it go, but seeing the potentially spectacular failure of the secessionists' little experiment would almost be worth it.
 
2012-12-05 06:35:24 PM

winterbraid: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

You have an unsettling talent for hypothetical prognostication.


www.troll.me
 
2012-12-05 06:39:26 PM

hubiestubert: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

Not to mention all those sweet Federal contracts that would sort of go *poof* as well. Not to mention having to come up with their own currency, and take care of all those pesky incidentals that the Fed sorts out now. Heck, no more FBI data bases, no more tracking even for legal or illegal immigrants, no more matching funds for Sheriffs departments or firefighters, and those pesky Ranger services, not to mention the National Parks.

Secessionists have such merry dreams, but have zero idea of exactly how wedded they are to the Fed and the rest of the country...


legal or illegal? let's be honest, the swarthy would not last long in a Texan Republic. And how long are the oilmen going to fund a Texan Rangers* service?

*not "Texas Rangers," Park Rangers in Texas
 
2012-12-05 06:41:24 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: winterbraid: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

You have an unsettling talent for hypothetical prognostication.

[www.troll.me image 552x414]


verbose compliment
 
2012-12-05 06:45:02 PM

winterbraid: mak3_7up_y0urs: winterbraid: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

You have an unsettling talent for hypothetical prognostication.

[www.troll.me image 552x414]

verbose compliment


My apologies for doubting you
 
2012-12-05 06:45:30 PM

winterbraid: hubiestubert: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

Not to mention all those sweet Federal contracts that would sort of go *poof* as well. Not to mention having to come up with their own currency, and take care of all those pesky incidentals that the Fed sorts out now. Heck, no more FBI data bases, no more tracking even for legal or illegal immigrants, no more matching funds for Sheriffs departments or firefighters, and those pesky Ranger services, not to mention the National Parks.

Secessionists have such merry dreams, but have zero idea of exactly how wedded they are to the Fed and the rest of the country...

legal or illegal? let's be honest, the swarthy would not last long in a Texan Republic. And how long are the oilmen going to fund a Texan Rangers* service?

*not "Texas Rangers," Park Rangers in Texas


You'll note how few times you hear secessionist rumblings from Arizona or Nevada. Both realize how dependent they are on just simple power from the Hoover Dam, and how much they NEED the Fed to pick up the tab for the Interstates and other services. Texas, has some of its own infrastructure, but a lot of Texans have bought into the Brave Pioneers motif, despite Houston petitioning for statehood at such an accelerated pace. Even then, Texas realized it couldn't go it alone, especially not with Mexico and the British and even the French sort of looming. Texans might have dreams of their grand independence, but even when they were considering being their own singular republic, they did so with the aid of US troops on loan...
 
2012-12-05 07:16:05 PM

hubiestubert: Houston petitioning for statehood


hubiestubert: You'll note how few times you hear secessionist rumblings from Arizona or Nevada


hubiestubert: the British and even the French sort of looming


These are relevant to my interests, but apparently hard to google, especially comparative secessionists. Recommended reading?
 
2012-12-05 07:19:43 PM
Out with Texas.
In with Puerto Rico.

We won't even have to change the flag.
 
2012-12-05 07:35:21 PM

Jim_Callahan: If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there) ...


If Texas left, all of the defense contracts would evaporate and the oil refineries would move elsewhere. Nothing was created in Texas - certainly not high-tech - but some did move there because of tax breaks. Other than that, what else do they have to offer?

//from CA
//old Compaq engineers suck
 
2012-12-05 07:39:24 PM

winterbraid: hubiestubert: Houston petitioning for statehood

hubiestubert: You'll note how few times you hear secessionist rumblings from Arizona or Nevada

hubiestubert: the British and even the French sort of looming

These are relevant to my interests, but apparently hard to google, especially comparative secessionists. Recommended reading?


Sam Houston petitioned Texas statehood very early. Pretty much out of the gate. That's simply a matter of record. Not Houston the city, but Houston the hero of their break from Mexico. Houston likewise even as he was looking to Tyler and President elect Polk for smoothing over of the approval of their statehood status--which was done in record time--also approached both the English and the French for possible admission to protect Texas from further aggression from Mexico. Polk sort of went above and beyond when he took the Presidency, because not only did he secure a Texas border with Mexico, he took New Mexico and California and pretty much nailed the Oregon Territories as well, solidly cementing Manifest Destiny not as a concept, but as a solid fact. If Congress and Tyler had dithered longer, then Houston was going to really have to leap through some hoops to protect his people, since they had sort of peeved off Mexico fairly badly. As it was the resultant war that Polk took a lot of the pressure off Texas, and focused folks on something OTHER than slave states entry and his somewhat controversial independent treasury...

As for Arizona and Nevada, they both rely on Hoover Dam for power. Much of northern Arizona is pretty much entirely dependent upon its power. The Dam is a Federal project, and run as such. Power and water in both Arizona and Nevada are very much wedded to the project, but the power usage from the Dam runs as far as Cali.
 
2012-12-05 07:43:47 PM

erveek: consider your total numbers not against the population of Texas, but against the population of Alaska


Texans have an inferiority complex with Alaska.
 
2012-12-05 07:47:02 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum Mr Show Rules: **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):


The LA Times Link
 
2012-12-05 07:49:14 PM

hubiestubert: history lesson


Interesting, thanks, but boy oh boy did I misread your other post.

hubiestubert: Not Houston the city, but Houston the hero of their break from Mexico


I haven't missed a point that hard since carnival night at summer camp, where I walked up to the concession stand and asked, "the 'old feed bag?' how does this game work?"
 
2012-12-05 07:59:28 PM

rosebud_the_sled: Jim_Callahan: If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there) ...

If Texas left, all of the defense contracts would evaporate and the oil refineries would move elsewhere. Nothing was created in Texas - certainly not high-tech - but some did move there because of tax breaks. Other than that, what else do they have to offer?

//from CA
//old Compaq engineers suck


Old HP engineers suck, just not as hard as old DEC engineers.
 
2012-12-05 08:22:44 PM
I've said it before and I'll say it again--



The South rises agin!--Six hours of these freaks getting strafed by helicopter gunfire. Live on Pay-per-View.

And that's not taking into account that every single one of these go-tard brigades has been infiltrated by the FBI.
 
2012-12-05 08:24:27 PM
Image-- 

i183.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-05 08:25:31 PM

Mugato: erveek: consider your total numbers not against the population of Texas, but against the population of Alaska

Texans have an inferiority complex with Alaska.


Well, in this case, I was just pointing out how a secession movement would be far more effective in a state with a smaller population and more loons per capita. Hell, it would work with Wyoming but Wyoming's landlocked and you'd be surrounded.
 
2012-12-05 08:33:27 PM

mjjt: Britney Spear's Speculum Mr Show Rules: **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

The LA Times Link


I'll update my list accordingly.
 
2012-12-05 08:37:53 PM

thamike: Image-- 

[i183.photobucket.com image 639x472]


that guy on the ground is about to attempt some JWoo sideways leap-while-dual-wielding-and-firing.

well, not leaping so much as gently rolling
 
2012-12-05 08:57:30 PM
Childish perhaps, but also not entirely untrue.
 
2012-12-05 09:18:36 PM
Not for some reason submitard

Lets say you want Texas to become the Republic of Texas again

you would need to get large number of your Texans to vote for it. Voting for it

you would also need to elect broad majorities to achieve that goal in both houses of the Texas state legislature

You would also need to (probably) elect a Governor of Texas

You would also (likely) need to have agreeable jurists in the court system in Texas

and it would likely be helpful to have federal elected officials friendly to your idea

you will need to fund a lot of campaigns to get this done
 
2012-12-05 09:52:35 PM

winterbraid: well, not leaping so much as gently rolling


Seeing that gentleman's girthy frame, I don't think "gently" is the adverb I have in mind.
 
2012-12-05 10:20:19 PM

simplicimus: Old HP engineers suck, just not as hard as old DEC engineers.


You won't get any argument from me about that. They do suck. Generally, 9-5er's waiting for the parts to be sold and ending up at another company.
 
2012-12-05 10:45:21 PM

thamike: Image-- 

[i183.photobucket.com image 639x472]


That guy in the front & center has ginormous moobs.
 
2012-12-05 11:26:48 PM
Because PACs are the easiest way to legally embezzle money?
 
2012-12-05 11:50:27 PM

Hollie Maea: Because PACs are the easiest way to legally embezzle money?


Just to be clear.. it's not really stealing if it's legal and the money only comes from rubes, right?

/Runs off to start my PAC
 
2012-12-06 12:32:47 AM
There will be no secession. There will be a bunch of gullible dolts separated from their money.
 
2012-12-06 12:46:33 AM

winterbraid: thamike: Image-- 

[i183.photobucket.com image 639x472]

that guy on the ground is about to attempt some JWoo sideways leap-while-dual-wielding-and-firing.

well, not leaping so much as gently rolling


Is that guy the "don't worry...I'm from the internet" kid all grown up?
 
2012-12-06 03:38:21 AM
(Among his other issues: instituting the death penalty as a punishment for adultery)

...which will, of course, only apply to the peasantry and not to the big boys like Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump.
 
2012-12-06 04:22:47 AM
i183.photobucket.com

WALRUS Team 6
 
2012-12-06 05:28:21 AM

winterbraid: thamike: Image-- 

[i183.photobucket.com image 639x472]

that guy on the ground is about to attempt some JWoo sideways leap-while-dual-wielding-and-firing.

well, not leaping so much as gently rolling




www.flixist.com

"WIDEN THE CHURCH."

collider.com

"FATTEN THE DOVES."
 
2012-12-06 05:44:06 AM

homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..


Do you want to be the one to pay for airlifting books and vegetables into Austin?


Britney Spear's Speculum: List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):


I've said it before and I'll say it again. I want to be on this list. Source is this thread and every other post I have written over the years in the Politics tab. Plus a few in sensible tabs.
 
2012-12-06 06:34:50 AM

hubiestubert: Good luck with that.

Just to be clear: even IF you could vote yourself out, that would mean that Fort Hood, Fort Bliss and the other pieces of US Federal property would either have to be bought, and cleared out. The US taxpayers paid for said property, not just the "sovereign state of Texas" so there would have to be time for a LOT of equipment to be moved, and what couldn't be, would have to be bought and paid for. That, or Texas would have US military bases within its borders, much like other nations have US military bases. There is also the matter of the Coast Guard, Air Force, the Federal buildings and the like. Texas, I suppose, could try to claim them, but that would likely trigger a less than appealing response from the folks who actually paid for the suckers. While Texas is all for taking over the facilities, I wonder how eager they are to take over the Federal prisons. Or take over responsibility for EPA sites...


I suspect the secessionists are assuming they could simply take over control of federal property within their borders, but they won't have a General Twiggs available this time to hand it all over to them. There are far more "northern" troops stationed in Texas these days than there are soldiers (not to mention senior officers) from states that, theoretically, might be sympathetic to secession. It would be a ready-made army of occupation.
 
2012-12-06 06:56:14 AM

Duke Phillips' Singing Bears: F*CK! secede. Dammit. dammit dammit dammit.


For them, wouldn't success be defined by seceding? So your successive posts were unnecessary. But I digress.
 
2012-12-06 07:10:14 AM
Can't just they pack their shiat up and leave? I hear Somalia doesn't have much government intervention.
 
2012-12-06 07:59:50 AM

mksmith: hubiestubert: Good luck with that.

Just to be clear: even IF you could vote yourself out, that would mean that Fort Hood, Fort Bliss and the other pieces of US Federal property would either have to be bought, and cleared out. The US taxpayers paid for said property, not just the "sovereign state of Texas" so there would have to be time for a LOT of equipment to be moved, and what couldn't be, would have to be bought and paid for. That, or Texas would have US military bases within its borders, much like other nations have US military bases. There is also the matter of the Coast Guard, Air Force, the Federal buildings and the like. Texas, I suppose, could try to claim them, but that would likely trigger a less than appealing response from the folks who actually paid for the suckers. While Texas is all for taking over the facilities, I wonder how eager they are to take over the Federal prisons. Or take over responsibility for EPA sites...

I suspect the secessionists are assuming they could simply take over control of federal property within their borders, but they won't have a General Twiggs available this time to hand it all over to them. There are far more "northern" troops stationed in Texas these days than there are soldiers (not to mention senior officers) from states that, theoretically, might be sympathetic to secession. It would be a ready-made army of occupation.


It would also depend on the exchanges of troops as well and the negotiation of final settlement if its a easy political solution

Hard solution is you just take it

But secession takes work either way
 
2012-12-06 02:20:39 PM
karasoth:Hard solution is you just take it

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2012-12-06 04:12:47 PM

Kittypie070: karasoth:Hard solution is you just take it

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


You can just take it.... just depends on if you want to take it when you can be successful or be epic fail

Taking ft hood today would be fail... in 10 years...maybe easier
 
2012-12-06 05:22:29 PM

Kittypie070: karasoth:Hard solution is you just take it


giggity
 
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