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(Mother Jones)   Texas secessionists have a PAC now, for some reason   (motherjones.com) divider line 208
    More: Stupid, Texas, patriot movement, perennial candidate, Texas Ethics Commission  
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2517 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Dec 2012 at 2:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-05 05:45:42 PM
Dear Texan secessionists:

If you're really serious about seceding, you won't be able to pull it off in Texas. You represent a tiny fraction of the overall population of Texas. If you want to make your vile treason to the Union a reality, consider your total numbers not against the population of Texas, but against the population of Alaska. They already have a secessionist movement. Please move there and stop making Texas look worse than it already is. I would like to go back to the days when Mississippi made us look sane by comparison.
 
2012-12-05 05:53:56 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Kittypie070: YOU ARE NOT TAKING JOHNSON SPACE CENTER WITH YOU, YOU TEN GALLON SH*TBAGS!!

They're still pissed that the shuttle they got was in kit form


It wasn't the State of Texas' fault, it was to a substantial degree the Unforgiven One's fault.
 
2012-12-05 05:55:09 PM
Good luck with that.

Just to be clear: even IF you could vote yourself out, that would mean that Fort Hood, Fort Bliss and the other pieces of US Federal property would either have to be bought, and cleared out. The US taxpayers paid for said property, not just the "sovereign state of Texas" so there would have to be time for a LOT of equipment to be moved, and what couldn't be, would have to be bought and paid for. That, or Texas would have US military bases within its borders, much like other nations have US military bases. There is also the matter of the Coast Guard, Air Force, the Federal buildings and the like. Texas, I suppose, could try to claim them, but that would likely trigger a less than appealing response from the folks who actually paid for the suckers. While Texas is all for taking over the facilities, I wonder how eager they are to take over the Federal prisons. Or take over responsibility for EPA sites...
 
2012-12-05 05:55:32 PM

Johnny Swank: The god damn GOVERNOR was floating this sort of shiat during the primaries. Texans, ALL of them, are farking idiots. Either they voted for these dipshiats, or they were too farking stupid/lazy to convince their neighbors to not vote for these teabagging republicans. See also, Wisconsin.


Err. I said it does not misrepresent; it's largely on target. This is what Texans are.

And yeah, failure has consequences, I know. I won't take another job in Texas if I have any choice; if and when I leave this job, I don't plan on sticking around.
 
2012-12-05 05:57:18 PM

theorellior: MaudlinMutantMollusk: They're still pissed that the shuttle they got was in kit form

Technically, Texas already got a shuttle.


Yeah... that's what I was saying

/some assembly required
 
2012-12-05 05:59:37 PM
As a liberal Texan, I'd like to apologize for this insanity.

I've always wondered what kind of currency secessionists would use since they all seem to believe that the dollar is going down the drain. Then I'd ask what all the large global businesses would do with all of their offices across the state. These folks like to talk about uncertainty, and I'd think that secession would inject quite of bit of it into the business climate in Texas, especially considering that this scrappy new nation would essentially have zero diplomatic ties with other countries, at least initially. Is it possible that the US would institute an embargo against Texas? What effect would that have on Texas businesses?

Also, millions of people here voted to re-elect President Obama. What happens if nearly half the state moves to remain a part of the US? What are senior citizens who rely on medicare and social security going to do once those payments are cut off? What is the Texas military going to do when the US repossesses all of its equipment? Texans would need passports to cross into any of the bordering US states, and I'm sure it would be awesome if major US Interstates were re-routed to go around Texas completely.

Do these people seriously believe that Texas will get to keep all the benefits of the US without being subject to all of the things they disagree with?
 
2012-12-05 06:00:27 PM

theorellior: MaudlinMutantMollusk: They're still pissed that the shuttle they got was in kit form

Technically, Texas already got a shuttle.


I lol'd.

/feel bad for it, but I did
 
2012-12-05 06:01:10 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: As a liberal Texan, I'd like to apologize for this insanity.

I've always wondered what kind of currency secessionists would use since they all seem to believe that the dollar is going down the drain. Then I'd ask what all the large global businesses would do with all of their offices across the state. These folks like to talk about uncertainty, and I'd think that secession would inject quite of bit of it into the business climate in Texas, especially considering that this scrappy new nation would essentially have zero diplomatic ties with other countries, at least initially. Is it possible that the US would institute an embargo against Texas? What effect would that have on Texas businesses?

Also, millions of people here voted to re-elect President Obama. What happens if nearly half the state moves to remain a part of the US? What are senior citizens who rely on medicare and social security going to do once those payments are cut off? What is the Texas military going to do when the US repossesses all of its equipment? Texans would need passports to cross into any of the bordering US states, and I'm sure it would be awesome if major US Interstates were re-routed to go around Texas completely.

Do these people seriously believe that Texas will get to keep all the benefits of the US without being subject to all of the things they disagree with?


I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.
 
2012-12-05 06:01:39 PM

maddogdelta: "We have heard them threaten to secede so often that I have formed an enthusiastic organization -- The American Friends for Texas Secession. This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede, but they don't want anybone to want them to."

--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p 174


This organization could really use a revival here on fark, maybe a meme to go with it too
 
2012-12-05 06:02:14 PM
We're called the UNITED States for a reason. You need us, and we sort of need you. Your secession fantasies belie your true emotional makeup:

You're goddamned children. All of you. Farking crybabies afraid of their own shadows despite the bluster and swagger.
 
2012-12-05 06:03:19 PM
Well, you can't legally leave unless the other 49 states agree to you leaving.

According to the Supreme Court (as decided in Texas v White), you have one other course of action.

When, therefore, Texas became one of the United States, she entered into an indissoluble relation. All the obligations of perpetual union, and all the guaranties of republican government in the Union, attached at once to the State. The act which consummated her admission into the Union was something more than a compact; it was the incorporation of a new member into the political body. And it was final. The union between Texas and the other States was as complete, as perpetual, and as indissoluble as the union between the original States. There was no place for reconsideration or revocation, except through revolution or through consent of the States.

You don't have the balls.
 
2012-12-05 06:09:40 PM

qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.


Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.
 
2012-12-05 06:13:23 PM
It's just a re-framing of this idiotic BS about "We want AAAALLLLL the fun and goodies and benefits but UTTERLY REFUSE to pay for them! Asking us to actually pay for the goodies is foulest tyranny!"

Now....just what and who do these f*cking yokels scream and rant about day after endless, wearying day?

Who do they point to?
 
2012-12-05 06:16:42 PM

Torgo_of_Manos: As a Steelers fan, let me say that I hope they do it before the playoffs...Houston is going to be a force to be reckoned with


Indeed. I'm really happy for those guys, though. I can't count how many years they started strong only to fizzle. But now they mean business. I know, I know, sports tab is thataway ---->
 
2012-12-05 06:17:02 PM
Ack, posted to wrong thread. What I picture those in favor of Texas secession look like:

i46.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-05 06:18:27 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.


Not to mention all those sweet Federal contracts that would sort of go *poof* as well. Not to mention having to come up with their own currency, and take care of all those pesky incidentals that the Fed sorts out now. Heck, no more FBI data bases, no more tracking even for legal or illegal immigrants, no more matching funds for Sheriffs departments or firefighters, and those pesky Ranger services, not to mention the National Parks.

Secessionists have such merry dreams, but have zero idea of exactly how wedded they are to the Fed and the rest of the country...
 
2012-12-05 06:19:51 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.


They've already got a foothold there, I'm sure.
 
2012-12-05 06:21:31 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Yeah... that's what I was saying

/some assembly required


Oh, duh. I thought you were talking about the Enterprise, although I don't know if that actually did end up at JSC.

I've having a string of Fark FAIL moments today.
 
2012-12-05 06:32:33 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.


You have an unsettling talent for hypothetical prognostication.
 
2012-12-05 06:32:36 PM

hubiestubert: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

Not to mention all those sweet Federal contracts that would sort of go *poof* as well. Not to mention having to come up with their own currency, and take care of all those pesky incidentals that the Fed sorts out now. Heck, no more FBI data bases, no more tracking even for legal or illegal immigrants, no more matching funds for Sheriffs departments or firefighters, and those pesky Ranger services, not to mention the National Parks.

Secessionists have such merry dreams, but have zero idea of exactly how wedded they are to the Fed and the rest of the country...


As a native Texan, and having lived here most of my life, I'd be sad to see it go, but seeing the potentially spectacular failure of the secessionists' little experiment would almost be worth it.
 
2012-12-05 06:35:24 PM

winterbraid: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

You have an unsettling talent for hypothetical prognostication.


www.troll.me
 
2012-12-05 06:39:26 PM

hubiestubert: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

Not to mention all those sweet Federal contracts that would sort of go *poof* as well. Not to mention having to come up with their own currency, and take care of all those pesky incidentals that the Fed sorts out now. Heck, no more FBI data bases, no more tracking even for legal or illegal immigrants, no more matching funds for Sheriffs departments or firefighters, and those pesky Ranger services, not to mention the National Parks.

Secessionists have such merry dreams, but have zero idea of exactly how wedded they are to the Fed and the rest of the country...


legal or illegal? let's be honest, the swarthy would not last long in a Texan Republic. And how long are the oilmen going to fund a Texan Rangers* service?

*not "Texas Rangers," Park Rangers in Texas
 
2012-12-05 06:41:24 PM

mak3_7up_y0urs: winterbraid: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

You have an unsettling talent for hypothetical prognostication.

[www.troll.me image 552x414]


verbose compliment
 
2012-12-05 06:45:02 PM

winterbraid: mak3_7up_y0urs: winterbraid: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

You have an unsettling talent for hypothetical prognostication.

[www.troll.me image 552x414]

verbose compliment


My apologies for doubting you
 
2012-12-05 06:45:30 PM

winterbraid: hubiestubert: mak3_7up_y0urs: qorkfiend: I think what would be most damaging to Texas would be the sudden, massive influx of cartel influence once US federal law enforcement is gone.

Indeed, no more National Guard, Coast Guard, US Border Patrol, ATF, DEA, etc. I wonder if it's within the realm of possibility that the larger cartels would move take over some of the border towns and set up shop outside of Mexico's jurisdiction.

Not to mention all those sweet Federal contracts that would sort of go *poof* as well. Not to mention having to come up with their own currency, and take care of all those pesky incidentals that the Fed sorts out now. Heck, no more FBI data bases, no more tracking even for legal or illegal immigrants, no more matching funds for Sheriffs departments or firefighters, and those pesky Ranger services, not to mention the National Parks.

Secessionists have such merry dreams, but have zero idea of exactly how wedded they are to the Fed and the rest of the country...

legal or illegal? let's be honest, the swarthy would not last long in a Texan Republic. And how long are the oilmen going to fund a Texan Rangers* service?

*not "Texas Rangers," Park Rangers in Texas


You'll note how few times you hear secessionist rumblings from Arizona or Nevada. Both realize how dependent they are on just simple power from the Hoover Dam, and how much they NEED the Fed to pick up the tab for the Interstates and other services. Texas, has some of its own infrastructure, but a lot of Texans have bought into the Brave Pioneers motif, despite Houston petitioning for statehood at such an accelerated pace. Even then, Texas realized it couldn't go it alone, especially not with Mexico and the British and even the French sort of looming. Texans might have dreams of their grand independence, but even when they were considering being their own singular republic, they did so with the aid of US troops on loan...
 
2012-12-05 07:16:05 PM

hubiestubert: Houston petitioning for statehood


hubiestubert: You'll note how few times you hear secessionist rumblings from Arizona or Nevada


hubiestubert: the British and even the French sort of looming


These are relevant to my interests, but apparently hard to google, especially comparative secessionists. Recommended reading?
 
2012-12-05 07:19:43 PM
Out with Texas.
In with Puerto Rico.

We won't even have to change the flag.
 
2012-12-05 07:35:21 PM

Jim_Callahan: If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there) ...


If Texas left, all of the defense contracts would evaporate and the oil refineries would move elsewhere. Nothing was created in Texas - certainly not high-tech - but some did move there because of tax breaks. Other than that, what else do they have to offer?

//from CA
//old Compaq engineers suck
 
2012-12-05 07:39:24 PM

winterbraid: hubiestubert: Houston petitioning for statehood

hubiestubert: You'll note how few times you hear secessionist rumblings from Arizona or Nevada

hubiestubert: the British and even the French sort of looming

These are relevant to my interests, but apparently hard to google, especially comparative secessionists. Recommended reading?


Sam Houston petitioned Texas statehood very early. Pretty much out of the gate. That's simply a matter of record. Not Houston the city, but Houston the hero of their break from Mexico. Houston likewise even as he was looking to Tyler and President elect Polk for smoothing over of the approval of their statehood status--which was done in record time--also approached both the English and the French for possible admission to protect Texas from further aggression from Mexico. Polk sort of went above and beyond when he took the Presidency, because not only did he secure a Texas border with Mexico, he took New Mexico and California and pretty much nailed the Oregon Territories as well, solidly cementing Manifest Destiny not as a concept, but as a solid fact. If Congress and Tyler had dithered longer, then Houston was going to really have to leap through some hoops to protect his people, since they had sort of peeved off Mexico fairly badly. As it was the resultant war that Polk took a lot of the pressure off Texas, and focused folks on something OTHER than slave states entry and his somewhat controversial independent treasury...

As for Arizona and Nevada, they both rely on Hoover Dam for power. Much of northern Arizona is pretty much entirely dependent upon its power. The Dam is a Federal project, and run as such. Power and water in both Arizona and Nevada are very much wedded to the project, but the power usage from the Dam runs as far as Cali.
 
2012-12-05 07:43:47 PM

erveek: consider your total numbers not against the population of Texas, but against the population of Alaska


Texans have an inferiority complex with Alaska.
 
2012-12-05 07:47:02 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum Mr Show Rules: **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):


The LA Times Link
 
2012-12-05 07:49:14 PM

hubiestubert: history lesson


Interesting, thanks, but boy oh boy did I misread your other post.

hubiestubert: Not Houston the city, but Houston the hero of their break from Mexico


I haven't missed a point that hard since carnival night at summer camp, where I walked up to the concession stand and asked, "the 'old feed bag?' how does this game work?"
 
2012-12-05 07:59:28 PM

rosebud_the_sled: Jim_Callahan: If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there) ...

If Texas left, all of the defense contracts would evaporate and the oil refineries would move elsewhere. Nothing was created in Texas - certainly not high-tech - but some did move there because of tax breaks. Other than that, what else do they have to offer?

//from CA
//old Compaq engineers suck


Old HP engineers suck, just not as hard as old DEC engineers.
 
2012-12-05 08:22:44 PM
I've said it before and I'll say it again--



The South rises agin!--Six hours of these freaks getting strafed by helicopter gunfire. Live on Pay-per-View.

And that's not taking into account that every single one of these go-tard brigades has been infiltrated by the FBI.
 
2012-12-05 08:24:27 PM
Image-- 

i183.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-05 08:25:31 PM

Mugato: erveek: consider your total numbers not against the population of Texas, but against the population of Alaska

Texans have an inferiority complex with Alaska.


Well, in this case, I was just pointing out how a secession movement would be far more effective in a state with a smaller population and more loons per capita. Hell, it would work with Wyoming but Wyoming's landlocked and you'd be surrounded.
 
2012-12-05 08:33:27 PM

mjjt: Britney Spear's Speculum Mr Show Rules: **New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

The LA Times Link


I'll update my list accordingly.
 
2012-12-05 08:37:53 PM

thamike: Image-- 

[i183.photobucket.com image 639x472]


that guy on the ground is about to attempt some JWoo sideways leap-while-dual-wielding-and-firing.

well, not leaping so much as gently rolling
 
2012-12-05 08:57:30 PM
Childish perhaps, but also not entirely untrue.
 
2012-12-05 09:18:36 PM
Not for some reason submitard

Lets say you want Texas to become the Republic of Texas again

you would need to get large number of your Texans to vote for it. Voting for it

you would also need to elect broad majorities to achieve that goal in both houses of the Texas state legislature

You would also need to (probably) elect a Governor of Texas

You would also (likely) need to have agreeable jurists in the court system in Texas

and it would likely be helpful to have federal elected officials friendly to your idea

you will need to fund a lot of campaigns to get this done
 
2012-12-05 09:52:35 PM

winterbraid: well, not leaping so much as gently rolling


Seeing that gentleman's girthy frame, I don't think "gently" is the adverb I have in mind.
 
2012-12-05 10:20:19 PM

simplicimus: Old HP engineers suck, just not as hard as old DEC engineers.


You won't get any argument from me about that. They do suck. Generally, 9-5er's waiting for the parts to be sold and ending up at another company.
 
2012-12-05 10:45:21 PM

thamike: Image-- 

[i183.photobucket.com image 639x472]


That guy in the front & center has ginormous moobs.
 
2012-12-05 11:26:48 PM
Because PACs are the easiest way to legally embezzle money?
 
2012-12-05 11:50:27 PM

Hollie Maea: Because PACs are the easiest way to legally embezzle money?


Just to be clear.. it's not really stealing if it's legal and the money only comes from rubes, right?

/Runs off to start my PAC
 
2012-12-06 12:32:47 AM
There will be no secession. There will be a bunch of gullible dolts separated from their money.
 
2012-12-06 12:46:33 AM

winterbraid: thamike: Image-- 

[i183.photobucket.com image 639x472]

that guy on the ground is about to attempt some JWoo sideways leap-while-dual-wielding-and-firing.

well, not leaping so much as gently rolling


Is that guy the "don't worry...I'm from the internet" kid all grown up?
 
2012-12-06 03:38:21 AM
(Among his other issues: instituting the death penalty as a punishment for adultery)

...which will, of course, only apply to the peasantry and not to the big boys like Newt Gingrich and Donald Trump.
 
2012-12-06 04:22:47 AM
i183.photobucket.com

WALRUS Team 6
 
2012-12-06 05:28:21 AM

winterbraid: thamike: Image-- 

[i183.photobucket.com image 639x472]

that guy on the ground is about to attempt some JWoo sideways leap-while-dual-wielding-and-firing.

well, not leaping so much as gently rolling




www.flixist.com

"WIDEN THE CHURCH."

collider.com

"FATTEN THE DOVES."
 
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