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(Mother Jones)   Texas secessionists have a PAC now, for some reason   (motherjones.com) divider line 208
    More: Stupid, Texas, patriot movement, perennial candidate, Texas Ethics Commission  
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2518 clicks; posted to Politics » on 05 Dec 2012 at 2:32 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-05 02:58:11 PM
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-05 02:58:39 PM
How about this, Puerto Rico is in, Texas is out. we keep 50 stars and Mexico can invade that place.
 
2012-12-05 02:58:41 PM
What are these assholes waiting for? Last I checked, they were free to pack up their shiat and move to another place more to their liking.

Oh, they want to take the land, infrastructure, industry and natural resources with them?

Yeah, that was settled 147 years ago. Sorry.


Bon Voyage!
 
2012-12-05 02:59:46 PM
Fleecing the money is the easy part.

The fun part is winding them up to go commit treason after.
 
2012-12-05 03:00:03 PM

Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?


presscoverage.us
 
2012-12-05 03:00:17 PM

NeverDrunk23: Really hard to believe the claims that Texas will go purple in 10 years.


well, if this is the opposition, will the next generation stray far from Texan Ds?

hiker9999: oldfarthenry: Looks like y'all have an 'merikun version of Quebec on yer hands!
It's a shame they don't babble in a different language like our secessionist traitors.
Makes it a lot easier on the head when you can't understand WTF they're saying.

You've never heard Texans or southerners "talk", have you?


well, he is Canadian
 
2012-12-05 03:01:49 PM
Let them go!!!

But at some point, Kilgore should probably review how well that went for McLaren...he got life, or 100 years or something for his little stunt aimed at "keeping us REAHL MERRICUNS free".
 
2012-12-05 03:04:12 PM

Philip Francis Queeg: Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?

[presscoverage.us image 336x637]


He's already busy with the Thousand Years of Darkness he promised.
 
2012-12-05 03:04:42 PM
FTFA: Membership in the pro-secession Texas Nationalist Movement has increased 400 percent since President Barack Obama won re-election on November 5-or so the TMN claims.

Because going from 4 people to 16 is increasing 400% and sounds better than "12 more people"...

Actual numbers arbitrary, point made.
 
2012-12-05 03:07:22 PM

timujin: Please just let them go. Then maybe all the other ignorant crackerasscrackers in the rest of the country would move there so they could be "free".


Okay, but then you'd have a state filled with Authoritarian types who have become accustomed to getting echo-chamber propaganda news from a single source. They'd have a chunk of our military men, and financing from megacorps who'd suck them dry as they've been all this time.

So, even assuming that the war didn't start when they left -- once things started to go bad, how long before they'd be whipped into invading the rest of the country? Ya'know, because the Liberal States of America was going to invade them, inevitably, and force them to have abortions, give up their guns, and turn muslim? And the best distraction for domestic problems is a foreign war, after all.
 
2012-12-05 03:07:27 PM
I find it funny that people are willing to attach their names to stuff like this that become public record and can be easily searched on the internet. Do these people realize what kind of damage they are doing to their future by associating their names with crap like this, that is never going to happen and they know it, just to stick it Obama and Liberals? I'm pretty sure that any future employer or potential future associate that Googles their name and finds this, unless they are a mouth breathing paranoid racist also, is not going to want to be associated with somebody that is not only delusional, but is also dumb enough to associate themselves with crap like this.
 
2012-12-05 03:08:02 PM

Philip Francis Queeg: Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?

[presscoverage.us image 336x637]



What? You mean *Carlos*?
 
2012-12-05 03:10:20 PM

theknuckler_33: Lionel Mandrake: Texas secessionists have a PAC now, for some reason

Because they're rubes. A few people will get rich, and these f*cking crybabies will get fleeced.

Yup. I came in here to write "for $ome rea$on?"


This. A few PAC owners will get rich off of this.
 
2012-12-05 03:11:01 PM

jonas opines: timujin: Please just let them go. Then maybe all the other ignorant crackerasscrackers in the rest of the country would move there so they could be "free".

Okay, but then you'd have a state filled with Authoritarian types who have become accustomed to getting echo-chamber propaganda news from a single source. They'd have a chunk of our military men, and financing from megacorps who'd suck them dry as they've been all this time.

So, even assuming that the war didn't start when they left -- once things started to go bad, how long before they'd be whipped into invading the rest of the country? Ya'know, because the Liberal States of America was going to invade them, inevitably, and force them to have abortions, give up their guns, and turn muslim? And the best distraction for domestic problems is a foreign war, after all.


Ahh but that's the beautiful part of the plan. We have cleverly surrounded Texas with a cordon of worthless wasteland. New Mexico, Oklahoma, Arkansas and Louisiana. By the time they got to anyplace worth fighting for they'd be exhausted and easily defeated.
 
2012-12-05 03:12:12 PM
Adios Amigos.
 
2012-12-05 03:13:13 PM

Saborlas: DeltaPunch: Again, it's just too easy to fleece money from these rubes.

WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS FIRST?!?

[i970.photobucket.com image 400x323]


We can start our own PAC with hookers and derp. The derp is really just a front to pay for the hookers!
 
2012-12-05 03:13:31 PM
Among his other issues: instituting the death penalty as a punishment for adultery

You don't need to secede. Just farking move to the Middle East. I'm sure you'd feel right at home.
 
2012-12-05 03:13:44 PM
Where do I donate?
 
2012-12-05 03:15:10 PM
"We have heard them threaten to secede so often that I have formed an enthusiastic organization -- The American Friends for Texas Secession. This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede, but they don't want anybone to want them to."

--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p 174
 
2012-12-05 03:16:28 PM

ongbok: Do these people realize what kind of damage they are doing to their future by associating their names with crap like this, that is never going to happen and they know it, just to stick it Obama and Liberals?


You don't understand. Sticking It To The Liberals is the most important thing of all - indeed, it is literally THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS. All else pales in comparison.
 
2012-12-05 03:16:38 PM
and then what? war with the US?
 
2012-12-05 03:17:04 PM

The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: Adios Amigos.


About 19 seconds in.

// best beer commercial EVAR
 
2012-12-05 03:18:14 PM

maddogdelta: "We have heard them threaten to secede so often that I have formed an enthusiastic organization -- The American Friends for Texas Secession. This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede, but they don't want anybone to want them to."

--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p 174


Imagine, as a teenage runaway, discovering that your parents really were happy with you gone
 
2012-12-05 03:19:17 PM

ongbok: I'm pretty sure that any future employer or potential future associate that Googles their name and finds this, unless they are a mouth breathing paranoid racist also, is not going to want to be associated with somebody that is not only delusional, but is also dumb enough to associate themselves with crap like this.



In Texas you might be more apt to get a callback if you let your derp flag fly.
 
2012-12-05 03:21:48 PM

maddogdelta: "We have heard them threaten to secede so often that I have formed an enthusiastic organization -- The American Friends for Texas Secession. This stops the subject cold. They want to be able to secede, but they don't want anybone to want them to."

--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley, p 174


That's awesome
 
2012-12-05 03:22:06 PM
i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-12-05 03:22:28 PM

Headso: ongbok: I'm pretty sure that any future employer or potential future associate that Googles their name and finds this, unless they are a mouth breathing paranoid racist also, is not going to want to be associated with somebody that is not only delusional, but is also dumb enough to associate themselves with crap like this.


In Texas you might be more apt to get a callback if you let your derp flag fly.


In much the same way an enormous amount of gang ink can improve your quality of life (in the prison that is).
 
2012-12-05 03:23:34 PM
So do serious social commentators like Stephen Colbert and comedians like Sarah Palin.
 
2012-12-05 03:23:51 PM

Dr Dreidel: The Evil That Lies In The Hearts Of Men: Adios Amigos.

About 19 seconds in.

// best beer commercial EVAR


lulz, that was pretty good
 
2012-12-05 03:24:08 PM

homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..


Nonsense. We won't have to change the flag or slogans at all as we can pick up Puerto Rico as a quick replacement.
 
2012-12-05 03:24:38 PM
If I may speak from the rest of the US, Texas, please leave. Take a few of your neighbors with you. No really, leave. All the good Texans of yesteryear are just that.
 
2012-12-05 03:25:57 PM

Semantic Warrior: FTFA: Membership in the pro-secession Texas Nationalist Movement has increased 400 percent since President Barack Obama won re-election on November 5-or so the TMN claims.

Because going from 4 people to 16 is increasing 400% and sounds better than "12 more people"...

Actual numbers arbitrary, point made.


Something about using percentages to illustrate an increase has always bothered me. It's vague: Would a double in membership be called "100% increase" or "200% increase?" So then does a 400% increase mean they've added 400% of their original number (and are therefore now at 500%) or that they've increased to 400% of their original number?
 
2012-12-05 03:29:40 PM

mrlewish: Anyone want to start a PAC for kicking out Texas?


Another FARK Brain-Storm!
Who says we have to wait for them to leave on their own? Why can't the rest of us just kick out the knuckle-draggers?
"I'm sorry but your state has failed the "Basic Intelligence Test" again. You will be getting your eviction notice in the mail. Then the mail will stop. Kthnxbye."
 
2012-12-05 03:31:54 PM

Black_Lazerus: 2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?


Maybe it's a Mexican-influenced PAC?
 
2012-12-05 03:40:03 PM
www.optier.com

STEP RIGHT UP!!!

Miracle Secession Oil cures all forms of Socialisms! Brings a spring back into the step of the downtrodden Patriot! Prevents And Protects against the Kenyan Flu! Use for 16 -18 weeks for best results

Only 3 easy payments of $19.95 for a two-week supply!

Full Satisfaction Guaranteeeeed!*


*Satisfaction not guaranteed.
 
2012-12-05 03:43:52 PM

NallTWD: How about this, Puerto Rico is in, Texas is out. we keep 50 stars and Mexico can invade that place.


Yeah, they tried that already.

Didn't work out too well.

ekballo.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-05 03:44:37 PM
Why would we want Texas out? They'll likely be a swing state within 15 years. Imagine the years when Cali, Texas, and Ohio go blue. All the wailing and tearing of hair.

Also if they leave, forget PR,, lets get American Samoa in for another Pacific vacation destination. Or Guam. Or get Korea and Japan on the phone and get started on some world government amalgamation.

/can you imagine Texans faces if we showed them the door and then cut a deal with 200 million Asians?
 
2012-12-05 03:45:04 PM
Yup. Pretty much all the border states have secessionist groups hanging out there for some reason, though how much play they get in the news sort of varies with how slow the news day is at the state level and how much anyone at the national level actually gives a fark about the state.

California has a decent number of them, for example, but it fails on the first point, there's almost always something else going on in politics or society in CA that drowns them out.

Like a tenth of the population of Montana are secessionists, excuse me, "sovereign citizens", but no one in the national news gives a flying fark because no one in the US cares about Montana, not even people in Montana.

Texas is sort of in the unhappy medium-- we're the second most popular state by a long shot, and we've got close economic and social ties to a farkton of other states for basically the same "giant port city and fossil fuels" reason CA does, so the national news feels obligated to have stories about us... but unlike CA, our politics is pretty stable, and while our industries are big and pretty farking sweet if I do say so myself, they're not exactly up to Hollywood for flash and headlines. So... you have to kinda go looking for shiat to write about, and for all that they're just as impotent here as in every other state, the secessionists are at least crazy enough to make a decent story in a set of news outlets that require at least three snookies of crazy and three millipalins of stupid to get any readers.

rosebud_the_sled: If I may speak from the rest of the US, Texas, please leave. Take a few of your neighbors with you. No really, leave. All the good Texans of yesteryear are just that.


If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there). Those four states are 32% of the population and about 1/3 of the US GDP between them.

The US would actually be hurt significantly if Texas left, stop pretending otherwise. Especially if you don't live in one of the big four. Actually, even if you do, because that's still failing basic logic and economics no matter where you live.

//If you look at Just CA and TX it's still about 20% population and 1/5 of the GDP.
 
2012-12-05 03:45:55 PM
Does this mean zombie Sam Houston is going to come back and start another Archive War? I bet the traffic has gotten a lot worse since then.
 
2012-12-05 03:46:51 PM

Maud Dib: NallTWD: How about this, Puerto Rico is in, Texas is out. we keep 50 stars and Mexico can invade that place.

Yeah, they tried that already.

Didn't work out too well.

[ekballo.files.wordpress.com image 527x350]


Texas GSP: 1.2 trillion
Mexico GDP: 1.16 trillion

All Mexico has going for it as a population advantage. Assuming Texas could get the weapons to deal with the human wave, I get Texas the edge.
 
2012-12-05 03:48:52 PM

Negligible: As someone who lives in Fort Worth, this will bring me years of unending entertainment. Watching tears of impotent rage roll down the cheeks of those who would rather speak in hyperbole, pursuing an unfeasible and self-defeating goal rather than truly try to correct the pile of issues upon which they heave their extremism and traitorous rhetoric, is quite possibly the best and most deserved schadenfreude.


Off topic :

Where in fort worth? Im in fairmount. We need a fort worth fark meetup.
 
2012-12-05 03:49:29 PM

mrlewish: Anyone want to start a PAC for kicking out Texas?



Why would we want to do that? Wait 10 years and they'll be a swing state - if not blue.

These "secessionist" idiots just want to secede before that happens so they can suppress the minority voters - and keep the state in the hands of white christians - without the feds stopping them.
 
2012-12-05 03:54:10 PM

Jim_Callahan: If you're not from Texas, California, or New York, you realize that none of the other states would even miss you enough to realize you were gone until like a week after you left, right? (Well, and FL is a close 4th to NY, but as a Farker I'm obligated to make an implicit "no one cares" joke there). Those four states are 32% of the population and about 1/3 of the US GDP between them.

The US would actually be hurt significantly if Texas left, stop pretending otherwise. Especially if you don't live in one of the big four. Actually, even if you do, because that's still failing basic logic and economics no matter where you live.


If Texas actually left I would think companies would relocate out of that country because they offer no protections to shipping lanes and contract law nor could they give permission to use waters for mining and oil extraction that they have no ability to control.
 
2012-12-05 03:55:03 PM
Maybe I should start one of these for Florida. I could use some money.
 
2012-12-05 03:56:58 PM
Secessionists = Tea Party 2.0

This will be how the GOP controls the house in2014.
 
2012-12-05 03:57:13 PM

homelessdude: I am strongly considering a donation to this PAC if it can be determined that is not a hoax.

After the past decade (and especially the last few years), I would be very satisfied hearing the phrase The 49 United States of America if this PAC was actually able to accomplish its goal..


Speaking on behalf of the 49 UNITED states, don't let the doorknob get stuck in your asshole on the way out!
 
2012-12-05 03:57:48 PM

Black_Lazerus: Wait, if Texas succeeds, they will be then trapped between the USA which they hate and mexico who they also hate....
1. who is going to protect their borders.
2. who would protect them from mexico reclaiming their land?


Does the mexican army have significantly better weaponry than your average Texan?
 
2012-12-05 03:57:55 PM

ha-ha-guy:
All Mexico has going for it as a population advantage. Assuming Texas could get the weapons to deal with the human wave, I get Texas the edge.


Haber F-16, amigo.

www.richard-seaman.com
 
2012-12-05 03:58:12 PM

Britney Spear's Speculum: Secessionists = Tea Party 2.0.


It's a logical progression.
 
2012-12-05 04:02:51 PM
**New and Improved (mostly) Linkified™** 

List Of People Conspiring Against The GOP, And Therefore, America (LOPCATGOPATA for short):

Liberals Link
Democrats Link
Socialists Link
Community Organizers Link
Geologists Link
Biologists Link
Meteorologists Link
Climatologists Link
Atheists Link
Muslims Link
Jews
Satan
ABC
NBC
CNN
CBS
PBS
All of cable news except FNC
The New York Times
The LA Times
The Washington Post
The Associated Press
Reuters
BBC
The Guardian
Black People
Mexicans
Human Rights Activists
SCOTUS
Europe
Movie Industry
Television Industry
Environmentalists
ACLU
The United Nations
Labor Unions Link
Colleges
Teachers (including kindergarten teachers) Link
Professors
Astrophysicists Link
ACORN Link
Planned Parenthood Link
National Endowment for the Arts Link
Fashion Industry Link
Gays
Judges Link
NPR Link
Paleontologists
Astrophysicists
Museums (*except Creationism Museum)
WHO
WTO
Inflated tires Link
The Honolulu Advertiser Link
The Star Bulletin Link
Teletubbies Link
Sponge Bob and Patrick Link
Nobel Prize Committee Link
US Census Bureau Link
Standard & Poor's Link
SimCity Link
NOAA
Sesame Street Link
Comic Books Link
Dogs Link
Little Green Footballs Link
Video Games Link
The Bible Link
CBO Link
Bruce Springsteen Link
Pennies
Warren Buffet Link
The Theory of Relativity Link
Comedy Central Link
Young People
whatever the hell a Justin Beiber is Link
Small Business Owners Link
Math Link
CPAC updated Link
Navy SEALs Link
The Economist
The Muppets Link
Iowa Republicans
Low-Flow Toilets Link
Rainbows Link
United States Secret Service Link
Breast Cancer Screenings Link
Chrysler Link
Clint Eastwood. Link
Robert Deniro Link
Tom Hanks Link
Glenn Frey Link
Bono Link
Bono Impersonators Link
Former Republican Senator Alan Simpson Link
Norman Rockwell Link
James Cameron Link
Dr. Seus
The Brookings Institution link
Tax Policy Center link
Nuns Link
Supreme Court Justice John Roberts Link
Jonathan Krohn at age 17 Link
Fact Checkers Link
Pollsters Link
Australia Link
Mitt Romney
Rasmussen
Fox News
Lockheed Martin Link
Bureau of Labor Statistics Link
Paul Ryan Link
Debate moderators Link
Google Link
Ben Stein Link
Soup kitchens updated Link
Chris Christie Link
Nate Silver (FiveThirtyEight.com) Link
Fox Polling Link
US Postal Service
Associated Press
Hurricanes Link
Susan Collins Link
Lisa Murkowski Link
Dean Heller Link
Mark Kirk Link
Lindsey Graham Link
Governor Bobby Jindal Link
General Petreaus Link
Saxby Chambliss Link
God Link
Girl Scouts Link
Boston Tea Party Link
Vegetables Link
American Indians Link
John Boehner Link
United States of America Link


More groups will be added as they and their nefarious schemes are exposed.

thanks to the many for finding the links
 
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