FlashHarry: and that's with slugs. no rifles in iowa.

Came here to say this.

Oh great. Now who are the antelope going to play with?

The hunters don't count unless they are field dressed and tied to the hood of a car.

I know of someone killed--- off- season, by a proper rifle (poacher).



Years ago my best friend's father fell out of a deer stand and died.... all in IA .


A friend blew his balls off with a shotgun....

Mmm...Venison.

My grandparents neighbor has a tree stand that's totally surrounded by a mound of empty High Life cans.

I don't care if you drink, and I don't care if you shoot deer because we've killed off all their other predators, but when you crack open a beer put down the .30-06, please.

KrispyKritter: FlashHarry: and that's with slugs. no rifles in iowa.

no idea what that means. slugs. please expand if you don't mind, thanks

shotgun with slugs

Why does it seem that fark so anti hunting? It's a strange viewpoint from people who mainly live in cities and sit at a desk all day.

You could probably find more than 4 people hit by buses or taxis during that same period of time. No one on fark has a smarmy superiority complex against traffic because of it.

KrispyKritter: FlashHarry: and that's with slugs. no rifles in iowa.

no idea what that means. slugs. please expand if you don't mind, thanks

Slugs expanding is overkill.

jayhawk88: FlashHarry: and that's with slugs. no rifles in iowa.

Why is that?

.30 caliber slugs are dangerous. .64 caliber slugs are much safer.

I don't hold with deer hunting. If you can't hunt it with a club, like a seal or a dolphin, I just don't want to play.

Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

jayhawk88: FlashHarry: and that's with slugs. no rifles in iowa.

Why is that?

Iowa is flat. A rifle round will travel forever, slugs not so much. You get away from the mountains here in VA and it is only shotgun as well.

oblig

Old_Chief_Scott: The hunters don't count unless they are field dressed and tied to the hood of a car.

Mitt's next family vacay?

ChipNASA: Pussies,
I hunt deer with my bear hands and a knife. Mano a Mano. That's the only way to do it. I like to feel them quiver and strain when I wrestle them to the ground and then bend them back and plunge the blade *deep* in to their necks...twisting to ensure I sever the spinal cord and feeling them take their last breaths and then feeling their lungs deflate like a children's balloon when you stop pinching the neck. And not of those fancy plastic tools to remove the anus when you're field dressing your game. I like to do that with my bare hands. One finger....then two....then my entire hand. Mmmmm.
Just the though arouses me.
/good times, good times.

How did you come to have bear hands?

Are you trying to tell me this isn't worth collateral damage?

KrispyKritter: no idea what that means. slugs. please expand if you don't mind, thanks

A slug is one big heavy projectile fired by a shotgun (instead of a bunch of spreading shot). Compared to a round from a high powered rifle it's heavier and has a bit more stopping power at close range, but it's not nearly as aerodynamic and has a much lower muzzle velocity so it can't inadvertently hit something a mile and a half away if you fire it up over the horizon like a rifle round theoretically could.

In our ER the start of hunting season is always an auspicious day, especially if it's windy. Our trauma team has its hands full with hunters who fall out of tree stands (plus or minus the presence of alcohol in their system).

I'm cringing at the poster that said his friend blew his balls off with a shotgun. How did he manage that? Ugh. We get gangbangers that do that fairly commonly, but that's usually because they were mexican carrying (although if you ask them it would sound like there was an epidemic of window cleaners sniping at people's dicks).

How many burrow owls?

My Iowa deer hunting CSB

Spent one year freezing my ass before and after school every day (back when you could leave the shotgun in the trunk of your car and nobody freaked the hell out) for two weeks, and on the last day of the season I sat out all day that Sunday, freezing my ass, and did not see one deer, at all that season.

So, disappointed, I started driving toward home, and about halfway there a farking deer jumped out of the ditch, dented the side of my car, and ran off.

The end

One per 12,000 deer. No idea how many actual hunters per injury.

Probably more hunters injured in car accidents or tripping over their own boots during that season.

how many people live in Iowa? 60,000 deer wil feed a lot of them. 4 people will feed only a few deer. They need to do a little better. They're in Washington Generals territory.

danielscissorhands: ChipNASA: Pussies,
I hunt deer with my bear hands and a knife. Mano a Mano. That's the only way to do it. I like to feel them quiver and strain when I wrestle them to the ground and then bend them back and plunge the blade *deep* in to their necks...twisting to ensure I sever the spinal cord and feeling them take their last breaths and then feeling their lungs deflate like a children's balloon when you stop pinching the neck. And not of those fancy plastic tools to remove the anus when you're field dressing your game. I like to do that with my bare hands. One finger....then two....then my entire hand. Mmmmm.
Just the though arouses me.
/good times, good times.

How did you come to have bear hands?

If I remember correctly, he used to wrassle bears as a teen and decided one day to have the paws from one of his kills grafted onto his arms...he simply chopped off his own hands and then grafted on the bear paws.

danielscissorhands: ChipNASA: Pussies,
I hunt deer with my bear hands and a knife. Mano a Mano. That's the only way to do it. I like to feel them quiver and strain when I wrestle them to the ground and then bend them back and plunge the blade *deep* in to their necks...twisting to ensure I sever the spinal cord and feeling them take their last breaths and then feeling their lungs deflate like a children's balloon when you stop pinching the neck. And not of those fancy plastic tools to remove the anus when you're field dressing your game. I like to do that with my bare hands. One finger....then two....then my entire hand. Mmmmm.
Just the though arouses me.
/good times, good times.

How did you come to have bear hands?

He cut them off the bear that took his precious baby's life in the first few hours of his existence.

See, ChipNASA was not always a bloodthirsty hunter of bears. Until one took the life of Quinn.



This is Quinn. He sets atop ChipNASA's baby grand piano, in a tasteful interior decorating display. He is a constant reminder of the reason why he has a bloodlust for ursine creatures.

blunto: Why does it seem that fark so anti hunting? It's a strange viewpoint from people who mainly live in cities and sit at a desk all day.

You could probably find more than 4 people hit by buses or taxis during that same period of time. No one on fark has a smarmy superiority complex against traffic because of it.

Somewhat relevant.

http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=RFCrJleggrI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D RFCrJleggrI

Babyquarium gets me laughing every time

ChipNASA: I hunt deer with my bear hands and a knife. Mano a Mano.

Shouldn't that be mano a pezuña?

hunters managed to bag 60,000 deer, 4 hunters

I like those odds.

Illinois is another shotgun hunting state. We can also use muzzloading blackpowder rifles. In both cases, low velocity, large diameter hunks of lead that have a lot of stopping power at less than 100 yards. I think you can use a normal rifle in Wisconsin though, because they aren't pussies.

brap: That's like, more than one deer for everyone in my hometown!
 
Ames: We're not just a four-letter crossword puzzle solution anymore!

holy crap brap, i grew up in boone.

ChipNASA: danielscissorhands: ChipNASA: Pussies,
I hunt deer with my bear hands and a knife. Mano a Mano. That's the only way to do it. I like to feel them quiver and strain when I wrestle them to the ground and then bend them back and plunge the blade *deep* in to their necks...twisting to ensure I sever the spinal cord and feeling them take their last breaths and then feeling their lungs deflate like a children's balloon when you stop pinching the neck. And not of those fancy plastic tools to remove the anus when you're field dressing your game. I like to do that with my bare hands. One finger....then two....then my entire hand. Mmmmm.
Just the though arouses me.
/good times, good times.

How did you come to have bear hands?

DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE U.S. CONSTITUTION???.
It *plainly* says in the 4th or 13th amendment that I have the right to bear arms.



Can't argue with that.

so, i know people who hunt. someday i'll ask to come along, just for fun. I have no problem with hunting, nor do i have a problem with dressing/butchering an animal.

but, here's what I've noticed that's actually important. hunters like the big fancy deers. that's great for them. but, all those bucks are old. their meat sucks. basically only good for sausage or stew.

sometime recently, i knew this guy who shot a very young deer because it was destroying crops on his farm. he brought it over and cooked it up and it was farking amazing. it was the veal version of deer. great flavor, but the softness and tenderness of a baby lamb. it was awesome.

so, if i went hunting, i would pursue the youngest deer. afterall, my trophy case is in my belly.

jayhawk88: KrispyKritter: FlashHarry: and that's with slugs. no rifles in iowa.

no idea what that means. slugs. please expand if you don't mind, thanks

Basically you pack a shotgun shell with one big metal slug rather than a bunch of little ones. Less range than high power rifles is the idea, supposedly safer, but I guess I'm not seeing why this is such a concern in Iowa of all places.

Minnesota does it that way too. Theory is it's safer since it doesn't travel as far. There are a million people out there with guns shooting like morons so I guess maybe it helps but I think it's way more dangerous because people underestimate the range. They assume it has the range of bird shot which isn't true.

/brother in law killed in deer hunting accident with a 12 gauge slug

60,000 deer? Missouri's harvest was over 200k. I wonder what the difference is other than rifles?

BronyMedic: danielscissorhands: ChipNASA: Pussies,
I hunt deer with my bear hands and a knife. Mano a Mano. That's the only way to do it. I like to feel them quiver and strain when I wrestle them to the ground and then bend them back and plunge the blade *deep* in to their necks...twisting to ensure I sever the spinal cord and feeling them take their last breaths and then feeling their lungs deflate like a children's balloon when you stop pinching the neck. And not of those fancy plastic tools to remove the anus when you're field dressing your game. I like to do that with my bare hands. One finger....then two....then my entire hand. Mmmmm.
Just the though arouses me.
/good times, good times.

How did you come to have bear hands?

He cut them off the bear that took his precious baby's life in the first few hours of his existence.

See, ChipNASA was not always a bloodthirsty hunter of bears. Until one took the life of Quinn.

[img214.imageshack.us image 648x484]

This is Quinn. He sets atop ChipNASA's baby grand piano, in a tasteful interior decorating display. He is a constant reminder of the reason why he has a bloodlust for ursine creatures.

brilliant! funniest thing on fark for a while

Nobody? Just me?

I always will remember,
'twas a year ago november,
I went out to hunt some deer
On a mornin' bright and clear.
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle,
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey.
What a haul I made that day.
I tied them to my fender, and I drove them home somehow,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm, it
Took away my permit,
The worst punishment I ever endured.
It turned out there was a reason,
Cows were out of season,
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it,
And I say, there's nothin' to it,
You just stand there lookin' cute,
And when something moves, you shoot!
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now,
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred guernsey cow.

i'd like to point out that this was early shotgun season (december 1-5). late shotgun season is december 8-16, so still plenty of time for the bodycount to go up.

fenianfark: 60,000 deer? Missouri's harvest was over 200k. I wonder what the difference is other than rifles?

Missouri has twice as many residents. I don't know whether that translates to twice as many hunters.