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(Short List)   Bad Sex Award winner announced. And before you say anything, Subby's mom wasn't even nominated   (shortlist.com) divider line 19
    More: Followup, new novel, treasures, prizes, Bad Sex in Fiction Award, Norman Mailer  
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18024 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2012 at 6:55 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-12-05 04:39:13 PM
2 votes:
Sounds like my friend Morgan's descriptions of his many conquests "And then we had sex all night long, me slowly humping and thrusting for hours and hours while she laid there."

Me, "That sounds horrible, Morgan." Don't even get me started on his description of his oral skills....
2012-12-05 09:35:37 AM
2 votes:
blogimages.project76.tv
Whereas I won an award for being the best at shagging.
2012-12-05 07:41:23 AM
2 votes:
They need to do this to porn. Most ridiculous sexual position, skankiest women, nastiest guy, etc.
2012-12-05 07:22:33 AM
2 votes:

eltejon: So wait. Did the author use the same passage twice, or the article writer? Pot, kettle, black?


FTA: The prize is draws attention to the crude, badly written, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and attempts to discourage it.

It seems that the article writer may be quoting some redundant passages. However, it is also a poorly edited article, so who really knows?
2012-12-05 01:38:31 PM
1 votes:
i.ytimg.com

"This one's called 'Lick My Love Pump.'"
2012-12-05 11:02:01 AM
1 votes:
One of my favorites was the 2001 winner,

Her hand is moving away from my knee and heading north. Heading unnervingly and with a steely will towards the pole. And, like Sir Ranulph Fiennes, Pamela will not easily be discouraged. I try twitching, and then shaking my leg, but to no avail. At last, disastrously, I try squeezing her hand painfully between my bony thighs, but this only serves to inflame her ardour the more. Ever northward moves her hand, while she smiles languorously at my right ear. And when she reaches the north pole, I think in wonder and terror....she will surely want to pitch her tent.

Bonus points to the writer for the Guardian for working the phrase "beat off stiff competition" into her article about that award.
2012-12-05 09:41:47 AM
1 votes:

stuhayes2010: They need to do this to porn. Most ridiculous sexual position, skankiest women, nastiest guy, etc.


that would be fun. watching the many entrants...OMG, it would be hilarious. track them down and identify who they are, too. really shame them just for fun. aww, that's terrible. maybe no shaming. -- once heard a comedian comment that at the end of award shows, singers who remake songs and do a piss poor job of it should have to get up and explain what they were thinking, and apologize for the crap they made us listen to. i'd like to see that too.
2012-12-05 09:18:20 AM
1 votes:

Bedstead Polisher: It produces quite a mental image. Does he go in that order? If so, he seems very disorganized. Also, what does she have going on between her legs to produce "countless treasures"? I can count what I have going on just fine, am I missing out?


She vajazzles with real diamonds. Lots of them
2012-12-05 09:17:41 AM
1 votes:

Bedstead Polisher: This snippet is my favourite part, where the lover explores these areas: my breasts, the back of my neck, my toes, my stomach, the countless treasures between my legs

It produces quite a mental image. Does he go in that order? If so, he seems very disorganized. Also, what does she have going on between her legs to produce "countless treasures"? I can count what I have going on just fine, am I missing out?


I pictured treasure chests, gold coins, etc comically shooting out of her vagina.
2012-12-05 09:12:01 AM
1 votes:

Elegy: Nitrox: Prevailing Wind,

My daughter asked what was wrong with the pig when we saw that (Peru, IN native)

So what did you tell her?


Why should the pig hide a set like that
2012-12-05 09:11:04 AM
1 votes:
This snippet is my favourite part, where the lover explores these areas: my breasts, the back of my neck, my toes, my stomach, the countless treasures between my legs

It produces quite a mental image. Does he go in that order? If so, he seems very disorganized. Also, what does she have going on between her legs to produce "countless treasures"? I can count what I have going on just fine, am I missing out?
2012-12-05 09:09:37 AM
1 votes:
Well if my soon to be wife was ok with it I would.
/I work at a a Supercenter Wal-Mart.
// Hotter women then you think shop there.
/// Esp after bars close
2012-12-05 08:47:17 AM
1 votes:
Yes, bad sex writing, but it will still sell with the single, 30-something, 260 lb chicks, with nine cats demographic. Know you target audience and all that.
2012-12-05 08:44:08 AM
1 votes:

Flakeloaf: And where is Fifty Shades in all this? How does a book described as a "bad fanfic" when compared to its source material not win every one of these prizes from here until the heat death of the universe?


As bas as 50 Shades... is, I can guarantee you there is a steady stream of far worse "novels" published nearly every day. And there's plenty of bad sex in a lot of them. There are a lot of books I think deserve a label on the cover reading, "Have you considered porn instead?" Trust me, the literary industry makes the music industry look like a bunch of high-minded people of integrity selling the works of certified geniuses.
2012-12-05 08:39:21 AM
1 votes:
And where is Fifty Shades in all this? How does a book described as a "bad fanfic" when compared to its source material not win every one of these prizes from here until the heat death of the universe?
2012-12-05 07:52:51 AM
1 votes:
"The prize draws attention to the crude, badly written, often perfunctory use of redundant passages"... Just like every Harry Potter book...
2012-12-05 07:16:56 AM
1 votes:
So wait. Did the author use the same passage twice, or the article writer? Pot, kettle, black?
2012-12-05 07:00:50 AM
1 votes:

jayhawk88: That's because she's already won the Lifetime Achievement Award.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2012-12-05 06:56:51 AM
1 votes:
That's because she's already won the Lifetime Achievement Award.
 
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