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(Arizona Star)   Man asks cop to write note to local cartel explaining that he lost $20,000 in drug money. Naturally, the cop is more than happy to help him   (azstarnet.com) divider line 35
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5260 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Dec 2012 at 1:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-04 09:06:38 PM
Is there any way to make the "fail" tag 800 pixels tall?

This is one for the ages.
 
2012-12-04 09:19:14 PM
Instead, police arrested the courier on suspicion of money laundering and racketeering, and searched his suitcase and personal property. They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

I'm starting to think that some people just can't be trusted.
 
2012-12-04 11:44:49 PM
Signed, Epstein's Probation Officer
 
2012-12-05 01:40:18 AM
Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.
 
2012-12-05 01:41:58 AM

Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.


They found 17k on him. He didn't lose shiat, he was trying to steal from the cartel. He was trying to play both sides. Trying being the key word here. This must be one of the most EPIC fails of all time.
 
2012-12-05 01:46:22 AM
Man usually I have some sympathy for even the dumb criminals, cause every story has another angle. But this guy... I'm speechless. You try to f the cartel, then you try to f the police? Whatever sentence he gets, he's getting a good deal.
 
2012-12-05 01:46:35 AM
Actually, now that I think about it, this guy is so royally farked. I mean, now he really HAS lost the 20k for the cartel. And the cartel now knows all the details about how he was trying to steal from them.

And this fella can't even run to Saskatchewan and try to start a new life as a potash miner, cause he's gonna be a sitting duck in prison. He's probably so low in the distribution chain, he doesn't even have any information that will allow him to cut a deal and go into witness protection.

www.gnorb.net
 
2012-12-05 01:48:21 AM
They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?
 
2012-12-05 01:51:49 AM

Happy Hours: They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?


Cop-Math.
 
2012-12-05 01:56:42 AM

Happy Hours: They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?


A hundred twenties? Twenty hundreds? A bag of dimes?
 
2012-12-05 01:59:29 AM

keytronic: Actually, now that I think about it, this guy is so royally farked. I mean, now he really HAS lost the 20k for the cartel. And the cartel now knows all the details about how he was trying to steal from them.

And this fella can't even run to Saskatchewan and try to start a new life as a potash miner, cause he's gonna be a sitting duck in prison. He's probably so low in the distribution chain, he doesn't even have any information that will allow him to cut a deal and go into witness protection.

[www.gnorb.net image 367x238]


its a fish utta water story but these fish are sharks!
http://www.9story.com/Shows/FuggetAboutIt
 
2012-12-05 02:00:38 AM

Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.


The thing is the cops didn't seize the money. So I have no idea how he thought he could get them to write a "receipt" saying that they had. And he didn't lose the money. He stole 20k (which they found on him) then tried to recruit the cops to create an alibi. It doesn't even make "crackhead" sense. Did he think they wouldn't notice he was 20k light and this was the best plan he could come up with on short notice? If you're going to steal drug money when you're acting as a courier, you'd better just take the whole pile and disappear off the face of the earth. Doesn't matter if you take 20, 20k, 200k, or more. You broke the trust.

And the idea that he'd be safer in prison is naive. "Hey, Fred. Demarco's on your cell block." "Okay, boss. Say hi to the kids for me." "You got it. And we'll take care of your wife's back rent." A few days later, Demarco has ceased to be. He'd be much safer out in the wild where he at least has a chance to run.
 
2012-12-05 02:04:46 AM

kvinesknows: keytronic: Actually, now that I think about it, this guy is so royally farked. I mean, now he really HAS lost the 20k for the cartel. And the cartel now knows all the details about how he was trying to steal from them.

And this fella can't even run to Saskatchewan and try to start a new life as a potash miner, cause he's gonna be a sitting duck in prison. He's probably so low in the distribution chain, he doesn't even have any information that will allow him to cut a deal and go into witness protection.

[www.gnorb.net image 367x238]

its a fish utta water story but these fish are sharks!
http://www.9story.com/Shows/FuggetAboutIt


My God, I didn't even know this existed. But hey, if you wanna hide from a drug Cartel based in the Southwest, Saskatchewan would do it (Newfoundland would be better though).
 
2012-12-05 02:07:45 AM

jtown: has a chance to run.


This incident was his idea of running. Who knows what prompted it (besides greed,) seems like he would have completed the handoff but instead just crammed away the money and called the police.
 
2012-12-05 02:08:29 AM

Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.



Depends on how far the Cartel's arms stretch into that prison.

Mine only stretch less than a foot... but I'm a badass.
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-05 02:11:05 AM
go on take the money and run

woo woo woo
 
2012-12-05 02:11:35 AM
Well now. It's not going to be too hard for that cartel to find you in jail, now is it, moron?

Anyone want to draw up a sheet of squares and gamble on time of death?

Your fate, it's sealed.

I sure hope you know some serious details to give to the cops so they'll cut your dumb ass a deal and put you into witness protection or at the very least change your name. If they give you a choice of new names, don't choose Mud again, for Pete's sake.
 
2012-12-05 02:16:16 AM
poor guy's down his own $20 too
 
2012-12-05 02:20:07 AM
Bet this gut thinks the cartel won't be able to murder the sh*t out of him in prison. I give him 8 months from sentencing.
 
2012-12-05 02:29:04 AM

Feral_and_Preposterous: Well now. It's not going to be too hard for that cartel to find you in jail, now is it, moron?

Anyone want to draw up a sheet of squares and gamble on time of death?

Your fate, it's sealed.

I sure hope you know some serious details to give to the cops so they'll cut your dumb ass a deal and put you into witness protection or at the very least change your name. If they give you a choice of new names, don't choose Mud again, for Pete's sake.


Maybe he asked that the note not use his real name.
 
2012-12-05 02:35:24 AM
I just realized something fishy. Could it be he was set up by his partners who planted the "lost" money on him?


The driver took him to a nearby hotel parking lot where the money was counted before Thomas and the drug dealers parted ways. About an hour later, Thomas received a threatening phone call from his contact in North Carolina telling him his delivery was $20,000 short.
 
2012-12-05 02:40:03 AM

Cubansaltyballs: Happy Hours: They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?

Cop-Math.


The street value is over $2 million.
 
2012-12-05 02:42:34 AM

kazikian: I just realized something fishy. Could it be he was set up by his partners who planted the "lost" money on him?


The driver took him to a nearby hotel parking lot where the money was counted before Thomas and the drug dealers parted ways. About an hour later, Thomas received a threatening phone call from his contact in North Carolina telling him his delivery was $20,000 short.



How could they even begin to assume that he would go to the cops and ask them for a fake letter saying that they seized it from him? That would not be a logical response to such a situation, even from a complete idiot.
 
2012-12-05 02:42:59 AM
His GF must have been napping.

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-05 02:51:52 AM

Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.


Saved his life? If he wasn't in prison he'd at least have a chance to run. You can't run in prison. Dude's gonna catch a shank in prison.
 
2012-12-05 02:57:57 AM
What a farking moron... and he WAS trying to steal from the cartel.

Idiots.
 
2012-12-05 03:10:36 AM

Cubansaltyballs: Happy Hours: They found $17,000 in hundred dollar bills in the pockets of a pair of blue jeans packed in the suit case, and another $3,020 in hundreds in his wallet.

How is it possible to have $3,020 is hundreds?

Cop-Math.


$3,020 in drug money=$3,200,000 street value?
 
2012-12-05 03:28:31 AM
The day you ask a cop the write an apology to a major drug cartel is the day you deserve to get buried upto your neck in sand. I suddenly have an urge to play Far Cry 3 now.

"Hey guys, sorry I lost all that cash of yours. Can we just call it an oopsies? Wait, why are you piling used tires on me? Is this a hazing? Do you need a light for that smoke? I'd totally give you a light if you'd just free this arm...ahh...agghh....AAAGGGHHH!!!".
 
2012-12-05 03:41:24 AM

kazikian: I just realized something fishy. Could it be he was set up by his partners who planted the "lost" money on him?


The driver took him to a nearby hotel parking lot where the money was counted before Thomas and the drug dealers parted ways. About an hour later, Thomas received a threatening phone call from his contact in North Carolina telling him his delivery was $20,000 short.


That's a good point there...

What's the point of counting the money at the time of receipt if you only discover the error an hour later?

The idea that the money was planted on him does not make sense either though. Why lose 20,000 perfectly good dollars just to put a guy away for a few years (who also knows who you are and can inform the police?)
 
2012-12-05 04:07:45 AM

ExcaliburPrime111: kazikian: I just realized something fishy. Could it be he was set up by his partners who planted the "lost" money on him?


The driver took him to a nearby hotel parking lot where the money was counted before Thomas and the drug dealers parted ways. About an hour later, Thomas received a threatening phone call from his contact in North Carolina telling him his delivery was $20,000 short.

That's a good point there...

What's the point of counting the money at the time of receipt if you only discover the error an hour later?

The idea that the money was planted on him does not make sense either though. Why lose 20,000 perfectly good dollars just to put a guy away for a few years (who also knows who you are and can inform the police?)


The hour difference is probably when the sender and recipient of the money talked and discovered that the amount didn't match. The count at the time of receiving from the courier was probably just to confirm with the courier how much they got, kinda like a receipt except I doubt they'd actually give a receipt.
 
2012-12-05 05:30:21 AM

kazikian: Man usually I have some sympathy for even the dumb criminals, cause every story has another angle. But this guy... I'm speechless. You try to f the cartel, then you try to f the police? Whatever sentence he gets, he's getting a good deal.


sad truth is a large portion of the prison population is people who are so stupid they cannot see the error of their ways. its really not fair they are born with such low IQ that they are unable to conduct themselves more well in life. it is also not fair to children born to loser scumbags who do little to no parenting, or are horrible examples for their children. all the more reason we need to have a comprehensive eugenics program in place worldwide. as long as we all allow morans, recidivists, junkies, alcoholics, mental and physical abusers, paedophiles, rapists, murderers and the mentally ill to reproduce the longer we will all pay the price for their poor behavior and the behavior of their offspring. mankinds progress will continue to be retarded until we face the reality of this situation.
 
2012-12-05 07:36:36 AM

keytronic: Actually, now that I think about it, this guy is so royally farked. I mean, now he really HAS lost the 20k for the cartel. And the cartel now knows all the details about how he was trying to steal from them.

And this fella can't even run to Saskatchewan and try to start a new life as a potash miner, cause he's gonna be a sitting duck in prison. He's probably so low in the distribution chain, he doesn't even have any information that will allow him to cut a deal and go into witness protection.


Not only that, everyone will know what he did and they'll go out if their way to make an example.

Poor idiot.
 
2012-12-05 08:08:22 AM

Gyrfalcon: Probably saved his life. Given a choice between being arrested for being stupid and racketeering and money laundering, and telling the cartel you "lost" $20K and having your head chopped off with a rusty machete, I'd prefer to do the time in a nice, comfy prison someplace.


Yeah... I'm totally sure the cartels couldn't find a way to off him in prison or anything.

As mentioned above, the dude's an untrustworthy fark who tried to play both sides and scam 20 g's from his employers. From what I understand, the type of people he was working for can and do kill people over shiat like that, almost every single day. He had the money still. When he was called out on his bullshiat, he should've told them he'd double check his luggage for the loot, given it back with a profuse apology for being a dumbshiat, and hopefully have gone about his way. Doesnt sound like an option for him anymore.

What are the odds of someone in his family dying, his girlfriend dying, or of him dying as a result of his actions and decisions in Tucson?
 
2012-12-05 09:22:46 AM

KrispyKritter: kazikian: Man usually I have some sympathy for even the dumb criminals, cause every story has another angle. But this guy... I'm speechless. You try to f the cartel, then you try to f the police? Whatever sentence he gets, he's getting a good deal.

sad truth is a large portion of the prison population is people who are so stupid they cannot see the error of their ways. its really not fair they are born with such low IQ that they are unable to conduct themselves more well in life. it is also not fair to children born to loser scumbags who do little to no parenting, or are horrible examples for their children. all the more reason we need to have a comprehensive eugenics program in place worldwide. as long as we all allow morans, recidivists, junkies, alcoholics, mental and physical abusers, paedophiles, rapists, murderers and the mentally ill to reproduce the longer we will all pay the price for their poor behavior and the behavior of their offspring. mankinds progress will continue to be retarded until we face the reality of this situation.


I actually agree to a point, given that we've completely eliminated natural selection by allowing the physically and mentally ill to survive in cases they wouldn't "naturally." But there are numerous problems beyond the obvious ethical ones with eugenics, foremost being that we aren't even sure what role genetics plays in many undesirable traits (nature vs. nurture); is pedophilia or drug abuse genetic, for example? To some extent likely, but who knows for sure. Then there's the situation when good genes might outweigh the bad; for instance Stephen Hawking is undoubtedly a burden on society, but he's also brilliant. You could never predict that sort of thing.
Perhaps when we have the human genome fully sequenced and understood, eugenics will become viable; but then we will likely be fixing problems in the womb rather than preventing reproduction.
 
2012-12-05 01:56:57 PM

KrispyKritter:
sad truth is a large portion of the prison population is people who are so stupid they cannot see the error of their ways. its really not fair they are born with such low IQ that they are unable to conduct themselves more well in life. it is also not fair to children born to loser scumbags who do little to no parenting, or are horrible examples for their children. all the more reason we need to have a comprehensive eugenics program in place worldwide. as long as we all allow morans, recidivists, junkies, alcoholics, mental and physical abusers, paedophiles, rapists, murderers and the mentally ill to reproduce the longer we will all pay the price for their poor behavior and the behavior of their offspring. mankinds progress will continue to be retarded until we face the reality of this situation.


RoFL
 
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