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(Daily Mail)   Nymphomaniac found dead in bed. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Sad, Antje Crapnik  
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21852 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 11:02 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



88 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-12-04 06:31:59 PM  
It's like she came... and went.
 
2012-12-04 08:29:35 PM  
Daily Fail outdoing themselves today.
 
2012-12-04 08:34:02 PM  
You probably would have.
www.birlesikbasin.com
 
2012-12-04 08:38:26 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: You probably would have.


Yeah probably. But I wouldn't brag about it later.

/ who am I kidding, of course I would brag.
 
2012-12-04 08:44:50 PM  
When they slice her open they'll find she's made entirely of herpes.
 
2012-12-04 08:47:18 PM  
She died like she lived. On her back.
 
2012-12-04 09:17:26 PM  
"At least she died doing what she loved."
 
2012-12-04 09:42:56 PM  
por-img.cimcontent.net

is envious.
 
2012-12-04 11:04:40 PM  
Death by snu-snu.
 
2012-12-04 11:05:27 PM  
Pete and Re-Pete....oh...nevermind.
 
2012-12-04 11:07:50 PM  
Yikes. That's like me killing myself for being 14.
 
2012-12-04 11:11:03 PM  
The always popular insatiable female sex drive trifecta in play.
 
2012-12-04 11:12:26 PM  
Did she take a money-shot to the head?
 
2012-12-04 11:13:31 PM  
She didn't like to have sex with corpses., subby, she wasn't a narcoleptic.
 
2012-12-04 11:15:46 PM  
If I were asked to have sex that number of times, I would not mind if she was an Ayre Head like sex so good you lose your eyesight.
 
2012-12-04 11:16:12 PM  
I've heard of farkin' a woman's brains out but COME ON
 
2012-12-04 11:21:45 PM  
She was a victim of the bias toward monogamy. She needed at least eight men to take turns on her around the clock. Seven guys buys you enough time to catch your breath, rest, and rebuild your horniness.

Unless she had a major fetish for seeing guys reduced to blubbering tears. It's too late to know now. Goodnight, sweet princess.
 
2012-12-04 11:22:30 PM  

skinink: Death by snu-snu.


When good snu-snu goes bad
 
2012-12-04 11:22:37 PM  
10 times a day? Damn. And I feel like a nympho when I want it more than once a day.

/women don't want sex, are you kidding?
//get farked once a week, at best
///how you doin'?
 
2012-12-04 11:23:28 PM  
Thank God you can't die from masturbating five times a day!
 
2012-12-04 11:26:37 PM  

Beaver Knievel: Thank God you can't die from masturbating five times a day!


Fark would be a ghost town.
 
2012-12-04 11:30:24 PM  
I spent a decent amount of time with a nymphomaniac for a period of time. At first I thought it was a really sweet deal.

However after a while I realized that it was always quantity over quality and the sex was really all she wanted. Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Nice lady, it was never going to work out to have a relationship with her. Makes me wonder what she's up to nowadays.
 
2012-12-04 11:31:53 PM  
One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.
 
2012-12-04 11:37:34 PM  
I swear this article is a rehash. I have read this before. I know what the date is.
 
2012-12-04 11:44:16 PM  

onyxruby: One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.


Except for imprisoning and sexually assaulting several people.
 
2012-12-04 11:46:29 PM  

Metalithic: onyxruby: One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.

Except for imprisoning and sexually assaulting several people.


Thank you, that's where it gets crazy and illegal.
 
2012-12-04 11:47:43 PM  
You all missed this on the same page?

Link

I used to look up to you Farkers.
 
2012-12-04 11:47:45 PM  

Metalithic: Except for imprisoning and sexually assaulting several people.


D'oh - did not read the farking article! I can't argue your point on that part.
 
2012-12-04 11:48:04 PM  

onyxruby: Quality really does matter more than quantity.


Always enjoyed chasing more than catching. Once you've charmed them out of their panties, the joy is lessened.

/ the ones I didn't catch are the ones I remember most fondly.
 
2012-12-04 11:50:03 PM  

onyxruby: One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.


Who are you talking about? The woman you knew, or the woman in the article who would keep dudes locked up against their will so she could use them as her own personal sex slaves?

She wasn't a slut. She was damned succubus
 
2012-12-04 11:51:02 PM  
It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people--it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women--who engage in it compulsively and without joy.
 
2012-12-04 11:51:14 PM  

rynopayno: I swear this article is a rehash. I have read this before. I know what the date is.


That's because there was an article some time ago about this lady when she was essentially kidnapping guys and farking them until they couldn't walk anymore, and now she's dead. Subby could have gone with the follow up tag, but went for the sad tag instead.
 
2012-12-04 11:53:52 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: You probably would have.
[www.birlesikbasin.com image 300x180]


Uh, no.
 
2012-12-04 11:54:05 PM  

Tumunga: You all missed this on the same page?

Link

I used to look up to you Farkers.


Chill, and scroll down a few links.
 
2012-12-04 11:58:22 PM  
so five times before noon on monday and i was halfway to dead. damn, it felt much better then.
 
2012-12-05 12:01:45 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

Hai, gaiz, what's going on in this thread?


/Obscure?
 
2012-12-05 12:03:15 AM  

Tumunga: You all missed this on the same page?

Link

I used to look up to you Farkers.


No. You missed it two headlines down.
 
2012-12-05 12:03:46 AM  

MFAWG: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 640x475]

Hai, gaiz, what's going on in this thread?


/Obscure?


sure. whatever.
 
2012-12-05 12:05:25 AM  

Ebenator: Tumunga: You all missed this on the same page?

Link

I used to look up to you Farkers.

Chill, and scroll down a few links.


Too bad these women weren't lesbians...might've been able to help each other out...
 
2012-12-05 12:05:37 AM  
I know I hate it when women just treat me like a piece of meat.
 
2012-12-05 12:05:55 AM  

Mega Steve: onyxruby: One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.

Who are you talking about? The woman you knew, or the woman in the article who would keep dudes locked up against their will so she could use them as her own personal sex slaves?

She wasn't a slut. She was damned succubus


I was reminded of the woman I knew and had not yet read the article. I already got my D'oh out a few comments above. I have now read the article.
 
2012-12-05 12:05:57 AM  

onyxruby: I spent a decent amount of time with a nymphomaniac for a period of time. At first I thought it was a really sweet deal.

However after a while I realized that it was always quantity over quality and the sex was really all she wanted. Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Nice lady, it was never going to work out to have a relationship with her. Makes me wonder what she's up to nowadays.


jazzlives.files.wordpress.com


She's been working in her garden.
 
2012-12-05 12:07:47 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: Metalithic: onyxruby: One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.

Except for imprisoning and sexually assaulting several people.

Thank you, that's where it gets crazy and illegal.


I've now read the article and see the crazy and illegal part.

/Read then post, I really should know better....
 
2012-12-05 12:11:10 AM  
*crosses fingers*
Horny unto death trifecta... horny unto death trifecta...
 
2012-12-05 12:16:14 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-05 12:22:09 AM  

onyxruby: tinfoil-hat maggie: Metalithic: onyxruby: One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.

Except for imprisoning and sexually assaulting several people.

Thank you, that's where it gets crazy and illegal.

I've now read the article and see the crazy and illegal part.

/Read then post, I really should know better....


Yea, women was crazy, once they've done their duty for god, queen, and country well well they end up on the patio calling the cops it's way past time to let them go:/
 
2012-12-05 12:26:09 AM  

tinfoil-hat maggie: onyxruby: tinfoil-hat maggie: Metalithic: onyxruby: One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.

Except for imprisoning and sexually assaulting several people.

Thank you, that's where it gets crazy and illegal.

I've now read the article and see the crazy and illegal part.

/Read then post, I really should know better....

Yea, women was crazy, once they've done their duty for god, queen, and country well well they end up on the patio calling the cops it's way past time to let them go:/


Yeah, if they are calling the cops to escape she's definitely gone from nymph to manic.
 
2012-12-05 12:36:29 AM  

onyxruby: tinfoil-hat maggie: onyxruby: tinfoil-hat maggie: Metalithic: onyxruby: One more thought, no need to slut shame the woman. She wasn't cheating on anyone or doing anything wrong.

Except for imprisoning and sexually assaulting several people.

Thank you, that's where it gets crazy and illegal.

I've now read the article and see the crazy and illegal part.

/Read then post, I really should know better....

Yea, women was crazy, once they've done their duty for god, queen, and country well well they end up on the patio calling the cops it's way past time to let them go:/

Yeah, if they are calling the cops to escape she's definitely gone from nymph to manic.


Exactly, the dudes lucky she didn't have a basement, like so many farkers from what I hear O_O
 
2012-12-05 12:37:53 AM  
Her name was Mrs. Crapnik.

LOL.

/all I got
//all I need
///13
 
2012-12-05 12:40:14 AM  
Sounds like she had...
*puts on sunglasses*
...one too many
YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!
/aw, crapnik
 
2012-12-05 12:42:02 AM  
As a necrophiliac nymphomaniac this is relevant to my interests.

/ is not going to do a GIS for that
 
2012-12-05 12:50:44 AM  

lelio: As a necrophiliac nymphomaniac this is relevant to my interests.

/ is not going to do a GIS for that


I'm almost tempted damn you. So I'll just use on I used last night in the walking dead thread
NSFW
/There ya go : )
 
2012-12-05 12:55:27 AM  
And she died of (spins wheel) .......click......click....click
pancreatic endocrine tumor

/That is all
 
2012-12-05 12:59:51 AM  

biyaaatci: It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people--it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women--who engage in it compulsively and without joy.


Oh, no.
 
2012-12-05 01:00:41 AM  

onyxruby: Metalithic: Except for imprisoning and sexually assaulting several people.

D'oh - did not read the farking article! I can't argue your point on that part.


Don't worry, happens to all of us.
 
2012-12-05 01:01:24 AM  

onyxruby: I spent a decent amount of time with a nymphomaniac for a period of time. At first I thought it was a really sweet deal.

However after a while I realized that it was always quantity over quality and the sex was really all she wanted. Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Nice lady, it was never going to work out to have a relationship with her. Makes me wonder what she's up to nowadays.


Gangbang films, maybe? it's not like they can't use it as a "marketable skill"...
 
2012-12-05 01:07:08 AM  

CowboyUpCowgirlDown: onyxruby: I spent a decent amount of time with a nymphomaniac for a period of time. At first I thought it was a really sweet deal.

However after a while I realized that it was always quantity over quality and the sex was really all she wanted. Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Nice lady, it was never going to work out to have a relationship with her. Makes me wonder what she's up to nowadays.

[jazzlives.files.wordpress.com image 194x259]


She's been working in her garden.


The big ones are never as good.
 
2012-12-05 01:17:36 AM  

belhade: onyxruby: I spent a decent amount of time with a nymphomaniac for a period of time. At first I thought it was a really sweet deal.

However after a while I realized that it was always quantity over quality and the sex was really all she wanted. Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Nice lady, it was never going to work out to have a relationship with her. Makes me wonder what she's up to nowadays.

Gangbang films, maybe? it's not like they can't use it as a "marketable skill"...


She would never do that, it would go against her traditional values. Thing was that she was conservative and considered me too liberal (I'm a moderate independent).

She was a good person, even if she had her flaws. Of course I have my own flaws so what can I say....
 
2012-12-05 01:26:21 AM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: rynopayno: I swear this article is a rehash. I have read this before. I know what the date is.

That's because there was an article some time ago about this lady when she was essentially kidnapping guys and farking them until they couldn't walk anymore, and now she's dead. Subby could have gone with the follow up tag, but went for the sad tag instead.


The spirit is willing but the flesh is bruised and spongy.
 
2012-12-05 01:33:21 AM  

Ebenator: Tumunga: You all missed this on the same page?

Link

I used to look up to you Farkers.

Chill, and scroll down a few links.


Dammit. I never claimed I was good at this.
 
2012-12-05 01:42:23 AM  

onyxruby: I spent a decent amount of time with a nymphomaniac for a period of time. At first I thought it was a really sweet deal.

However after a while I realized that it was always quantity over quality and the sex was really all she wanted. Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Nice lady, it was never going to work out to have a relationship with her. Makes me wonder what she's up to nowadays.


If all of the other stories of nymphos are any indication, you weren't the only one and your privates most likely dodged a big bullet.

Also, as horny as we can get, there comes a point when the cock is so chafed all you feel is pain. I can't imagine how any nympho can fark through that, male or female.
 
2012-12-05 01:45:57 AM  

crabsno termites: onyxruby: Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Always enjoyed chasing more than catching. Once you've charmed them out of their panties, the joy is lessened.

/ the ones I didn't catch are the ones I remember most fondly.


Has anyone ever compared you to a housecat?
 
2012-12-05 01:55:50 AM  
If you're name is Antje Krapnick, you might as well die f*cking.
 
2012-12-05 01:58:07 AM  
Sehr geehrte Penthouse, ich hätte nie gedacht, es würde mit mir geschehen...
 
2012-12-05 02:05:45 AM  
Jeeze, all she had to do is give the Farkers her address, would have had more traffic then even she could handle.
Road trip...
 
2012-12-05 02:32:12 AM  
Headline would be better if read "NECROPHILIAC found dead. Mission Accomplished." Nympho? Not so much.
 
2012-12-05 02:32:37 AM  

foxyshadis: crabsno termites: onyxruby: Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Always enjoyed chasing more than catching. Once you've charmed them out of their panties, the joy is lessened.

/ the ones I didn't catch are the ones I remember most fondly.

Has anyone ever compared you to a housecat?


Not that I am aware of. Tomcats will fark anyhing that will stand still; I only tried to fark girls who i really enjoyed (made me laugh/think).

/Chasin's better than catchin'
 
2012-12-05 02:41:11 AM  
www.sitcomsonline.com

*Sigh* I miss Blanche
 
2012-12-05 03:07:05 AM  

Ishkur: [25.media.tumblr.com image 500x374]


And what I came to see. Thank you, sir.
 
2012-12-05 03:37:13 AM  
This is why I don't do online dating. Finding a score like this is too rare. I just can't seem to get imprisoned and held as a sex slave for long enough these days.
 
2012-12-05 04:57:53 AM  
I look forward to the Rammstein song about it.
 
2012-12-05 05:39:29 AM  
RIP Sweet Princess. Your life was misunderstood suffering and pain.
 
2012-12-05 05:57:05 AM  
Am I the only one who read that as "Necropheliac" ?

/dnrtft
 
2012-12-05 08:18:23 AM  

foxyshadis: onyxruby: I spent a decent amount of time with a nymphomaniac for a period of time. At first I thought it was a really sweet deal.

However after a while I realized that it was always quantity over quality and the sex was really all she wanted. Quality really does matter more than quantity.

Nice lady, it was never going to work out to have a relationship with her. Makes me wonder what she's up to nowadays.

If all of the other stories of nymphos are any indication, you weren't the only one and your privates most likely dodged a big bullet.

Also, as horny as we can get, there comes a point when the cock is so chafed all you feel is pain. I can't imagine how any nympho can fark through that, male or female.


I used protection and got myself tested a lot. However that feeling that she might be sleeping around was always in the back of my mind.

Your quite right that my privates dodged a bullet, for which I am grateful. In the end that risk was part of why things could never work between us.

Your right about the chafing, after a while it became painful work.
 
2012-12-05 08:22:16 AM  

biyaaatci: It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people--it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women--who engage in it compulsively and without joy.


I would agree that the female sex drive is oversimplified and understated.

However, overall and on average, it still doesn't hold a candle to the male sex drive. Not even close.
 
2012-12-05 08:26:00 AM  

DerpHerder: Beaver Knievel: Thank God you can't die from masturbating five times a day!

Fark would be a ghost town.


The Fapping Dead?
 
2012-12-05 09:02:30 AM  
Huh, seems like she was a keeper

/German
//imprisoning men for gruelling sex
///why wasn't I invited?
////slahes
 
2012-12-05 09:28:14 AM  

DrunkenBob: She needed at least eight men to take turns on her around the clock. Seven guys buys you enough time to catch your breath, rest, and rebuild your horniness.


Don't things get, uh, sticky after a while?

I am all for farking, but it's kind of a turn off is the chick is laying in a 2 inch puddle of other guy's baby gravy.
 
2012-12-05 09:52:36 AM  
We need pics!
 
2012-12-05 11:12:26 AM  
25.media.tumblr.com

Sexual deviancy im Deutschland? Ich war erstaunt.
 
2012-12-05 11:39:23 AM  

martid4: I know I hate it when women just treat me like a piece of meat.


Better that than being treated like a bucket of chum.
 
2012-12-05 01:00:41 PM  
Ten times a day? That is doable, but work would get in the way. I wonder if it has to be intercourse every time or does she just need to have an orgasm, because bringing her to orgasm 10 times in a day would be no problem at all. Hades I like to give women two or three orgasms per sexual encounter and I really don't care for a partner who has one and is done for the day like my current girlfriend. I would think this woman's vagina would be really sore after two or three times in a row; I have never had a girlfriend that went for more than four of my orgasms before telling me it hurt.
 
2012-12-05 02:19:04 PM  

Yankees Team Gynecologist: biyaaatci: It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people--it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women--who engage in it compulsively and without joy.

I would agree that the female sex drive is oversimplified and understated.

However, overall and on average, it still doesn't hold a candle to the male sex drive. Not even close.


That's just, like, your opinion, man.
 
2012-12-05 02:22:15 PM  

Profedius: Ten times a day? That is doable, but work would get in the way. I wonder if it has to be intercourse every time or does she just need to have an orgasm, because bringing her to orgasm 10 times in a day would be no problem at all. Hades I like to give women two or three orgasms per sexual encounter and I really don't care for a partner who has one and is done for the day like my current girlfriend. I would think this woman's vagina would be really sore after two or three times in a row; I have never had a girlfriend that went for more than four of my orgasms before telling me it hurt.


You're suppose to lick it, not erase it.
 
2012-12-05 02:59:37 PM  

martid4: Profedius: Ten times a day? That is doable, but work would get in the way. I wonder if it has to be intercourse every time or does she just need to have an orgasm, because bringing her to orgasm 10 times in a day would be no problem at all. Hades I like to give women two or three orgasms per sexual encounter and I really don't care for a partner who has one and is done for the day like my current girlfriend. I would think this woman's vagina would be really sore after two or three times in a row; I have never had a girlfriend that went for more than four of my orgasms before telling me it hurt.

You're suppose to lick it, not erase it.


I am not following you? Licking it is not really the best way sucking it in and out of your mouth making sure that it rubs along your tongue will really do it for her.
 
2012-12-05 03:19:13 PM  
Le grande mort.
 
2012-12-05 06:55:12 PM  

Marcus Aurelius: You probably would have.
[www.birlesikbasin.com image 300x180]


i.dailymail.co.uk

howaboutno.jpg
 
2012-12-06 07:14:24 AM  

biyaaatci: Yankees Team Gynecologist: biyaaatci: It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people--it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women--who engage in it compulsively and without joy.

I would agree that the female sex drive is oversimplified and understated.

However, overall and on average, it still doesn't hold a candle to the male sex drive. Not even close.

That's just, like, your opinion, man.


Yes, it definitely is just my opinion. Hardly something I can prove. But it makes sense from a biological standpoint, considering the risks involved in getting pregnant.

Also, I'd offer this as a huge supporting argument: where is the prostitution industry for female customers?
 
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