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(Gothamist)   Guy shoots his girlfriend in the back after arguing about how to survive a zombie outbreak while watching "The Walking Dead." Well you don't shoot them in the back, for starters   (gothamist.com) divider line 80
    More: Dumbass, zombie apocalypse  
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5717 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 10:20 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-04 08:44:18 PM
Wow, stupid, dangerous, and ugly. He's a keeper.
 
2012-12-04 08:46:52 PM
Carl, it's all fun being a badass, but now you're a bad influence on the general populace.

Hand in your hat and stay in the house. Sorry.
 
2012-12-04 08:48:20 PM
That Dixon family is hard core.
 
2012-12-04 10:21:30 PM
I just don't get the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing. Zombies aren't real.
 
2012-12-04 10:21:48 PM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-04 10:22:02 PM
This is what happens when dumb proliferates.
 
2012-12-04 10:23:32 PM
My hometown. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
 
2012-12-04 10:24:39 PM
EvilEgg:

Wow, stupid, dangerous, and ugly. He's a keeper.

Some people give guys like me a bad name. A .22?!?
 
2012-12-04 10:25:38 PM
Indubitably:

This is what happens when dumb proliferates.

Hence eugenics coupled with better schooling.
 
2012-12-04 10:26:00 PM

The One True TheDavid: EvilEgg:

Wow, stupid, dangerous, and ugly. He's a keeper.

Some people give guys like me a bad name. A .22?!?


That's a hard 26.
 
2012-12-04 10:28:51 PM
Of course a zombie outbreak couldn't happen, because all the Twilight Vampires would drain the zombies of blood before an epidemic could ever take hold.
 
2012-12-04 10:29:05 PM
"The rifle went off accidentally"

Yeah, sure it did bub, you should totally stick with that one.
 
2012-12-04 10:29:17 PM
I feel like in a true zombie apocalypse the majority of deaths would come from idiocy like this not actual zombie related fatalities.
 
2012-12-04 10:31:57 PM
Everybody knows you shoot lady zombies in the cooter and then stick it up her butt.
 
2012-12-04 10:33:39 PM
Wow, I love the Walking Dead and can't imagine arguing with my girlfriend over the show enough to even raise our voices , much less doing so severely enough to involve weapons. WTF is wrong with people?
 
2012-12-04 10:34:37 PM
Carl, get in the house
 
2012-12-04 10:36:06 PM
Just in the thread to say "Damn funny headline, Subby"

/Damn fine headline, Subby
 
2012-12-04 10:38:30 PM
I bet prison life is pretty zombie-rific.
 
2012-12-04 10:38:53 PM

skinink: Of course a zombie outbreak couldn't happen, because all the Twilight Vampires would drain the zombies of blood before an epidemic could ever take hold.


but seriously, I believe they would have the totally opposite effect of that
 
2012-12-04 10:39:09 PM
spoilers in case you live under a rock*
Why do I get the feeling this guy is a Rick fan boy, or maybe he was calling Lori a Jezebel whore throughout most of season 2, and maybe just maybe he was freakishly laughing when they did finally get rid of her?
 
2012-12-04 10:40:58 PM

LordOfThePings: I bet prison life is pretty zombie-rific.


shooting his gf over the Walking Dead? I think the special hospital is more likely
 
2012-12-04 10:43:52 PM
Randy sure has gone downhill since "Earl" went off the air.
 
2012-12-04 10:44:05 PM

skullkrusher: shooting his gf over the Walking Dead? I think the special hospital is more likely


Care to wager? Loser has to sit through the Twilight Saga non-stop.
 
2012-12-04 10:45:26 PM
"The rifle went off accidentally," Gurman's attorney, Edward L. Lieberman

He was just cleaning it! While it was loaded....aimed at her back

Also, what is he wearing?
gothamist.com

Could be a young Christina Aguilera or Avril Lavigne. Either way, it's a little weird
 
2012-12-04 10:46:34 PM
I always shoot my way through an argument.

shootingforbeginners.com
 
2012-12-04 10:48:46 PM
Just the other day, I mentioned in the thread about people buying guns for the zombie apocalypse that something like this could happen. Everyone thought I was being ridiculous.
 
2012-12-04 10:49:36 PM

Mega Steve: "The rifle went off accidentally," Gurman's attorney, Edward L. Lieberman

He was just cleaning it! While it was loaded....aimed at her back

Also, what is he wearing?


Could be a young Christina Aguilera or Avril Lavigne. Either way, it's a little weird


Rofl, that shirt...is he wearing it to be ironic?
 
2012-12-04 10:50:04 PM
There are some stupid people on this world.
 
2012-12-04 10:52:27 PM
You're supposed to wait until after they turn, dumb ass.
 
2012-12-04 10:53:11 PM

Metalithic: Just the other day, I mentioned in the thread about people buying guns for the zombie apocalypse that something like this could happen. Everyone thought I was being ridiculous.


Time to point a rifle at their backs.

/We're waiting.
 
2012-12-04 10:53:52 PM
...Which is exactly what 26-year-old Long Island man Jared Gurman is accused of doing ...

gothamist.com

That's a rough 26

Oh, and, MELLOW OUT, MAN!
 
2012-12-04 10:53:54 PM

Metalithic: Just the other day, I mentioned in the thread about people buying guns for the zombie apocalypse that something like this could happen. Everyone thought I was being ridiculous.


See what happens when you start trolling in another thread? The universe gets even with you by proving you right!

;-)
 
2012-12-04 10:55:48 PM

Metalithic: Just the other day, I mentioned in the thread about people buying guns for the zombie apocalypse that something like this could happen. Everyone thought I was being ridiculous.


Actually, I think it shows that a .22LR is probably not the bullet of choice. It barely put his girlfriend in the hospital. That wouldn't even slow down a blood lust driven zombie!
 
2012-12-04 10:58:46 PM

LordOfThePings: skullkrusher: shooting his gf over the Walking Dead? I think the special hospital is more likely

Care to wager? Loser has to sit through the Twilight Saga non-stop.


can we wager our left nuts instead? I am not THAT confident
 
2012-12-04 10:59:00 PM
Just came in to ask why anyone would sit through The Walking Dead. shiat dialogue, illogical choices made by boring characters, and written to obviously draw it out as long as possible. I guess I would like it if I had never seen any other television show ever.
 
2012-12-04 10:59:24 PM
Wait, this is impossible. According to every conservative I've heard, more guns should have made them safer, not less so.

Obviously this is a libtard conspiracy and she was never shot.
 
2012-12-04 11:05:22 PM

MrEricSir: Wait, this is impossible. According to every conservative I've heard, more guns should have made them safer, not less so.

Obviously this is a libtard conspiracy and she was never shot.


I think you're looking for the "I'm Not Funny and I Try too Hard" tab. In the works, I believe.
 
2012-12-04 11:06:36 PM
Which is exactly what 26-year-old Long Island man Jared Gurman is accused of doing to his girlfriend

Im calling BS on both of these things.
 
2012-12-04 11:10:12 PM

duffblue: Just came in to ask why anyone would sit through The Walking Dead. shiat dialogue, illogical choices made by boring characters, and written to obviously draw it out as long as possible. I guess I would like it if I had never seen any other television show ever.



In a nutshell, it's a soap opera for men. Does that help explain it?
 
2012-12-04 11:10:22 PM
So now I suppose women have a new question to add to their list of "Questions to automatically eliminate unsuitable romantic partners":

"Do you really believe a zombie outbreak is possible?"
 
2012-12-04 11:13:46 PM
wat?! my wife and I watch the talking dead all the time but we don't shoot each other over it! This is ridiculous
F you talking dead
 
2012-12-04 11:20:07 PM

TastyEloi: So now I suppose women have a new question to add to their list of "Questions to automatically eliminate unsuitable romantic partners":

"Do you really believe a zombie outbreak is possible?"



Yeah well, those biatches will be the first to go because their metrosexual boyfriends haven't practiced swinging a machete.
 
2012-12-04 11:23:11 PM

skullkrusher: MrEricSir: Wait, this is impossible. According to every conservative I've heard, more guns should have made them safer, not less so.

Obviously this is a libtard conspiracy and she was never shot.

I think you're looking for the "I'm Not Funny and I Try too Hard" tab. In the works, I believe.


Jay Leno has a Fark tab?
 
2012-12-04 11:28:09 PM
Rule one of surviving a Zombie Apocalypse: Don't get killed before it starts.
 
2012-12-04 11:29:29 PM

adeist69: duffblue: Just came in to ask why anyone would sit through The Walking Dead. shiat dialogue, illogical choices made by boring characters, and written to obviously draw it out as long as possible. I guess I would like it if I had never seen any other television show ever.


In a nutshell, it's a soap opera for men. Does that help explain it?


I'm slowly wearing down...there's still those few "oh shiate" moments that keep me watching. I compare it to golf. I suck but those few good hits and a par putt on 2-3 holes a round keep me coming back.

Plus The stupid kid drove me nuts last season .So far it's not as bad this season.
 
2012-12-04 11:33:02 PM

adeist69: You're supposed to wait until after they turn, dumb ass.


There was one zombie movie (Land of the Dead?) where they shot you as soon as you got bitten because it only took seconds to turn. Maybe he was arguing that Walking Dead wasn't realistic because it didn't follow those rules and he thought she got bit.
 
2012-12-04 11:43:08 PM

adeist69: duffblue: Just came in to ask why anyone would sit through The Walking Dead. shiat dialogue, illogical choices made by boring characters, and written to obviously draw it out as long as possible. I guess I would like it if I had never seen any other television show ever.


In a nutshell, it's a soap opera for men. Does that help explain it?


That explains it very well actually, I couldn't put my finger on it!
 
2012-12-04 11:50:17 PM

Digitalstrange: Wow, I love the Walking Dead and can't imagine arguing with my girlfriend over the show enough to even raise our voices , much less doing so severely enough to involve weapons. WTF is wrong with people?


I ask myself that question pretty much every day, for a variety of reasons.
 
2012-12-04 11:52:03 PM

Happy Hours: There was one zombie movie (Land of the Dead?) where they shot you as soon as you got bitten because it only took seconds to turn. Maybe he was arguing that Walking Dead wasn't realistic because it didn't follow those rules and he thought she got bit.


In Land of the Dead, it took some time to turn, but they usually just put the bitten out of their misery fast. 28 Days Later had fast conversion.
 
2012-12-04 11:52:58 PM
Got some city miles on ya, don't ya boy?
 
2012-12-04 11:59:32 PM

Trafficguy2000: wat?! my wife and I watch the talking dead all the time but we don't shoot each other over it! This is ridiculous
F you talking dead


"Why can't Chris Hardwick get a suit that fits??"

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU B*TCH!!!"
 
2012-12-05 12:08:44 AM

Heamer: I just don't get the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing. Zombies aren't real.


How about Jesus H. Christ?
 
2012-12-05 12:30:51 AM
At least he didn't shoot her in the front. I mean, the back is nice and all, but it's no front.
 
2012-12-05 12:31:28 AM

ladyfortuna: Digitalstrange: Wow, I love the Walking Dead and can't imagine arguing with my girlfriend over the show enough to even raise our voices , much less doing so severely enough to involve weapons. WTF is wrong with people?

I ask myself that question pretty much every day, for a variety of reasons.


That's because you come to fark, well not really I've met just as many idiots in the real world. : ?
/ I am sorta curious about what the argument was about.
 
2012-12-05 12:34:05 AM

fusillade762: Trafficguy2000: wat?! my wife and I watch the talking dead all the time but we don't shoot each other over it! This is ridiculous
F you talking dead

"Why can't Chris Hardwick get a suit that fits??"

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU B*TCH!!!"


Okay I hate that guy but I like the talking dead show it's fun.
 
2012-12-05 12:45:04 AM
When the apocalypse comes, I'm with Team Zombie.

This is why.
 
2012-12-05 12:46:47 AM

MrEricSir: skullkrusher: MrEricSir: Wait, this is impossible. According to every conservative I've heard, more guns should have made them safer, not less so.

Obviously this is a libtard conspiracy and she was never shot.

I think you're looking for the "I'm Not Funny and I Try too Hard" tab. In the works, I believe.

Jay Leno has a Fark tab?


well played
 
2012-12-05 01:01:06 AM

duffblue: Just came in to ask why anyone would sit through The Walking Dead. shiat dialogue, illogical choices made by boring characters, and written to obviously draw it out as long as possible. I guess I would like it if I had never seen any other television show ever.


I guess they would need to watch it so to come in threads and whine about it like a little girl?
 
2012-12-05 01:06:33 AM

imfallen_angel: duffblue: Just came in to ask why anyone would sit through The Walking Dead. shiat dialogue, illogical choices made by boring characters, and written to obviously draw it out as long as possible. I guess I would like it if I had never seen any other television show ever.

I guess they would need to watch it so to come in threads and whine about it like a little girl?


Heh, so true : )
 
2012-12-05 01:36:42 AM
Looking at the way my city's laid out, there's no way in hell I'm getting out of here. So I'd probably spend my last day alive leading some zombies into the State Capitol and watching the fun. Hey, it beats getting shot at over at the Hy-Vee for the last box of Hamburger Helper.
 
2012-12-05 01:53:43 AM

Heamer: I just don't get the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing. Zombies aren't real.


Ever seen "Doomsday Preppers"? Those crazy f*ckers believe stuff only slightly more "real." If you can believe that we're headed for a biowarfare scenario that's going to kill everyone except you and your family, it's just one smaller step to believing that the virus would turn the victims into some kind of rabid "living dead".

However, THIS fool probably wasn't one of those. He just wanted his girlfriend to agree he was right. If it hadn't been this, it would have been that McDonald's "secret sauce" is really made of squid eyeballs.
 
2012-12-05 02:03:46 AM

Heamer: I just don't get the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing. Zombies aren't real.


I dare you to say that to my face, and then turnaround and walk away.
 
2012-12-05 02:08:13 AM

Gyrfalcon: Heamer: I just don't get the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing. Zombies aren't real.

Ever seen "Doomsday Preppers"? Those crazy f*ckers believe stuff only slightly more "real." If you can believe that we're headed for a biowarfare scenario that's going to kill everyone except you and your family, it's just one smaller step to believing that the virus would turn the victims into some kind of rabid "living dead".

However, THIS fool probably wasn't one of those. He just wanted his girlfriend to agree he was right. If it hadn't been this, it would have been that McDonald's "secret sauce" is really made of squid eyeballs.


McDonald's secret sauce is made from squid eyeballs? Wow, I know they were messed up but....
; )
/I'm a survivor, then I get the hell away from crazy.
 
2012-12-05 02:17:53 AM
Quarter pounder with cheese, probably for dinner tomorrow, thanks to the mention of McDs. Damn anyone who brought it up.
 
2012-12-05 02:36:25 AM

ladyfortuna: Quarter pounder with cheese, probably for dinner tomorrow, thanks to the mention of McDs. Damn anyone who brought it up.


I wouldn't set foot in that pig trough if I were you.

/slightly kidding
//have you seen Super Size Me?
 
2012-12-05 03:36:09 AM

Gyrfalcon: Heamer: I just don't get the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing. Zombies aren't real.

Ever seen "Doomsday Preppers"? Those crazy f*ckers believe stuff only slightly more "real." If you can believe that we're headed for a biowarfare scenario that's going to kill everyone except you and your family, it's just one smaller step to believing that the virus would turn the victims into some kind of rabid "living dead".

However, THIS fool probably wasn't one of those. He just wanted his girlfriend to agree he was right. If it hadn't been this, it would have been that McDonald's "secret sauce" is really made of squid eyeballs.


Wendy's uses worms in their burgers.
 
2012-12-05 03:59:09 AM

skinink: Of course a zombie outbreak couldn't happen, because all the Twilight Vampires would drain the zombies of blood before an epidemic could ever take hold.


That raises a question.... can the undead drain the undead? If a zombie infects a vampire, what happens to the vampire? If a vampire drains a zombie, what happens to the zombie?
 
2012-12-05 05:30:24 AM

Heamer: I just don't get the whole "zombie apocalypse" thing. Zombies aren't real.


People like the zombie apocalypse idea because it allows them to fantasize about murder without any of the moral complexities of killing real humans.

It's just care free violence fetishism. I love it.
 
2012-12-05 05:40:46 AM

MagicPlasticTreeFrog: People like the zombie apocalypse idea because it allows them to fantasize about murder without any of the moral complexities of killing real humans.


So like, feminism with guns.
 
2012-12-05 06:44:12 AM
MagicPlasticTreeFrog: People like the zombie apocalypse idea because it allows them to fantasize about murder without any of the moral complexities of killing real humans.
Well yeah, what I'd always assumed, it's guilt free killing isn't it.
When I'm a bit angry feeling I just get on the xbox and dive into the zombie apocalypse.
 
2012-12-05 07:16:28 AM
Sounds to me like she had it going.
 
2012-12-05 07:31:28 AM

MagicPlasticTreeFrog: People like the zombie apocalypse idea because it allows them to fantasize about murder without any of the moral complexities of killing real humans.


For me it's more fun to debate strategies.

Especially when someone jumps in to say how stupid the conversation is, then starts laying out what he thinks would be a better plan.
 
2012-12-05 08:06:14 AM
48 hours. that is how long it will take society to fall apart after catastrophe. Look at New Orleans after Katrina or New York after Sandy. 48 hours and people are pulling guns on each other at gas stations and getting in knife fights over dumpsters.

If we can't even argue with our girlfriends about what to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse without shooting each other in the back, what chance do we have when the real thing happens?
 
2012-12-05 08:14:02 AM

Shadow Blasko: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 620x465]


ftfy: 'She is in stable condition.'

this is what happens when you don't double-tap.
 
2012-12-05 09:31:59 AM
At least his prison buddies will be impressed:
www.dreadcentral.com
Not so much Rick, when he gets there.

I wonder if he will be house in "C" block. That's "C" as in "Cockmeat sammich"
 
2012-12-05 10:34:35 AM
Zombies eat brains, right? What was this guy so worried about? He's obviously of no interest to zombies.
 
2012-12-05 11:24:02 AM

JasonOfOrillia: The One True TheDavid: EvilEgg:

Wow, stupid, dangerous, and ugly. He's a keeper.

Some people give guys like me a bad name. A .22?!?

That's a hard 26.


You would prefer a flaccid 26?

/NTTAWWT
//jk
 
2012-12-05 02:00:26 PM

skinink: Of course a zombie outbreak couldn't happen, because all the Twilight Vampires would drain the zombies of acting ability before an epidemic could ever take hold.


FTFY
 
2012-12-05 04:12:54 PM

EvilEgg: Wow, stupid, dangerous, and ugly. He's a keeper.


He'll get endless dates.

You know how it is ... if you're stupid, ugly, got a drug or alcohol problem women can't keep their hands off them

/lament from a friend
 
2012-12-05 05:56:57 PM

enochianwolf: ladyfortuna: Quarter pounder with cheese, probably for dinner tomorrow, thanks to the mention of McDs. Damn anyone who brought it up.

I wouldn't set foot in that pig trough if I were you.

/slightly kidding
//have you seen Super Size Me?


I go there maybe four times a year and most often that's because I'm traveling. I was starving and tipsy at the time I wrote that though - I'm actually making pork chops with apples tonight and some sort of vegetable instead.
 
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