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(Tumblr)   As it turns out, these didn't just look bizarre and hilarious because you were on your third Bloody Mary and cruising at an altitude of 31,000 ft. Ladies and Gentlemen, the best and worst of Skymall   (skymall.tumblr.com) divider line 248
    More: Amusing  
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26010 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 2:07 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-04 04:18:23 PM  

ToxicMunkee: [i1195.photobucket.com image 380x380]

Sir, unless you can fit that under your seat we're going to have to check it.


You know.... I've wondered about that exact thing when reading Skymall....
 
2012-12-04 04:21:09 PM  

brap: [i253.photobucket.com image 268x268]Wife just back from the hospital after giving birth and being Mrs. Crankypants? Since this supposedly blessed event, has all the love and laughter left the household?Well then lighten the mood and indulge your "impish" side with Baby SIDS.Simply replace your newborn with this frightenly realistic stillborn replica and at night tell your wife it's her turn to check on the little scruffer. That's YOUR cue to go downstairs to the kitchen where you've stowed the REAL baby. Then simply turn on the baby monitor, pour yourself a gin and tonic (better make it a double), sit back,and wait for the LAUGHS! What better way to chill out with your newborn than listening to wifey having a heart attack on the baby monitor. A great way to bond with junior while creating the psychological foundation for you to always be considered "the fun guy" and for the Mrs. to be "The Heavy" and "The Drag."


You're sick, man, sick... and I know because that's the sort of thing that I would consider doing.
 
2012-12-04 04:22:54 PM  

Smoky Dragon Dish: ToxicMunkee: [i1195.photobucket.com image 380x380]

Sir, unless you can fit that under your seat we're going to have to check it.

You know.... I've wondered about that exact thing when reading Skymall....


I think it's inflatable, which would just add to the awkward factor.
 
2012-12-04 04:23:18 PM  

lasercannon: I prefer http://www.thisiswhyimbroke.com/


Who gives a

ecx.images-amazon.com

/$24.99 with free super saver shipping!
 
2012-12-04 04:24:12 PM  

strapp3r: [24.media.tumblr.com image 380x380]

seriously?

my old school knuckle meat pounder works just fine

/is it knuckle-meat?
//or is it meat-pounder?
///to the lab!


www.12volt-travel.com
 
2012-12-04 04:24:48 PM  

Adjective Bird Whiskey: Ok I actually like this one kind of.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 380x380]


Me too.
 
2012-12-04 04:25:57 PM  

Glendale: Smoky Dragon Dish: ToxicMunkee: [i1195.photobucket.com image 380x380]

Sir, unless you can fit that under your seat we're going to have to check it.

You know.... I've wondered about that exact thing when reading Skymall....

I think it's inflatable, which would just add to the awkward factor.


But still... it's very large when inflated. The sort of thing that air hostesses frown upon...
 
2012-12-04 04:30:34 PM  

Ed Grubermann: [25.media.tumblr.com image 268x268]
A new decoration for the piano in the living room.


Very nice!
Golf clap.
//more points with the box photo
 
2012-12-04 04:31:12 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: [i45.tinypic.com image 380x380]

Um. I...oh dear.


My wife has something similar. It's called a Backnobber. Actually works quite well.
 
2012-12-04 04:34:02 PM  

ShadeeJake: God Is My Co-Pirate: [i45.tinypic.com image 380x380]

Um. I...oh dear.

Where the fark does that go?


I think the correct answer to that question is yes.
 
2012-12-04 04:34:35 PM  

Adjective Bird Whiskey: Because f*ck you that's why

[cdnl.complex.com image 620x400]


wtf do you do for a living?
 
2012-12-04 04:45:06 PM  

ami5000: [www.skymall.com image 380x380]


I rushed through the whole thread to see who would be first to shop a second set of legs in there....
/has a sad
 
2012-12-04 04:56:04 PM  
But wait, there's more:

The "Flare Hair Visor" -

www.skymall.com
 
2012-12-04 04:57:49 PM  

mahuika: [www.skymall.com image 380x380]

Yes, let's tie together our daughter's legs and then throw her into the water!


I've wanted a monofin for a long time... chances are that's the only way I'm going to learn to do a proper dolphin kick and eventually a proper butterfly stroke.

/swimming, asshole...
 
2012-12-04 05:02:35 PM  

Anschauer: But wait, there's more:

The "Flare Hair Visor" -

[www.skymall.com image 130x130]


The dude that come up with that also invented the fake Hillbilly teeth. Dude is a multimillionaire.
 
2012-12-04 05:09:54 PM  

Anschauer: But wait, there's more:

The "Flare Hair Visor" -

[www.skymall.com image 130x130]


The final piece to your Guy Fieri Halloween costume.
 
2012-12-04 05:30:29 PM  

Bad Man: God Is My Co-Pirate: [i45.tinypic.com image 380x380]

Um. I...oh dear.

My wife has something similar. It's called a Backnobber. Actually works quite well.


Isn't backnobber Australian slang for a gay guy?

I heard that in Vienna
 
2012-12-04 05:39:30 PM  

ami5000: HEY GUYS REMEMBER 1995? WELL IT'S BACK!


The target's about 12 inches high.
 
2012-12-04 06:08:13 PM  

Maud Dib: Tat'dGreaser: Blushing Wall Flower: This is a greenlight I can actually get behind. Sometimes...you just have to wonder.

Hopefully the liters don't f*ck it up, ami5000 is having too much fun.

Yes, it requires that extra 5 bucks a month to make one witty and erudite.

[i865.photobucket.com image 516x340]


I was here years before most of these elitist TF wannabes, don't let them get to you.
 
2012-12-04 06:11:32 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com

1.bp.blogspot.com
How YOU doin'?
 
2012-12-04 06:16:38 PM  

mattg: Maud Dib: Tat'dGreaser: Blushing Wall Flower: This is a greenlight I can actually get behind. Sometimes...you just have to wonder.

Hopefully the liters don't f*ck it up, ami5000 is having too much fun.

Yes, it requires that extra 5 bucks a month to make one witty and erudite.

[i865.photobucket.com image 516x340]

I was here years before most of these elitist TF wannabes, don't let them get to you.


People that think they are somehow special because they have Totalfark are the biggest douchebags on this site.

/Tried TF and don't get why people would pay for it.
//sponsor people all the time
 
2012-12-04 06:19:35 PM  

misanthropologist: mahuika: [www.skymall.com image 380x380]

Yes, let's tie together our daughter's legs and then throw her into the water!

I've wanted a monofin for a long time... chances are that's the only way I'm going to learn to do a proper dolphin kick and eventually a proper butterfly stroke.


www.flaghouse.com

upload.wikimedia.org

I'm not seeing the problem.
 
2012-12-04 07:11:42 PM  
Can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet:

SkyMall Kitties
 
2012-12-04 07:35:50 PM  

ami5000: LOL IS THIS CHAIR FOR GIANTS?

[25.media.tumblr.com image 380x380]


It's a hobbit in khakis
 
2012-12-04 07:37:29 PM  

tuna fingers: I missed this, I fly once/month - I'd actually get this.

[25.media.tumblr.com image 380x380]


Darth Vader toaster on one counter, Cylon toaster on the other.And the magic wand remote
to control them both. Life is good.....
 
2012-12-04 07:42:19 PM  

Makh: I'm not so sure I want protein ketchup.


That's like bloody semen, right?
 
2012-12-04 07:56:36 PM  

LesterB: No love for the Captain Pike sauna? My coworkers think I'm nuts now.


See, that doesn't make me think of Captain Pike ... it makes me think of James Bond locking a bad guy into one in Thunderball.
 
2012-12-04 07:56:48 PM  
How is garden zombie not on there yet?

www.skymall.com 


Blaargh
 
2012-12-04 08:12:00 PM  

ravenlore: Can't believe this hasn't been mentioned yet:

SkyMall Kitties


That person is deeply disturbed.
 
2012-12-04 08:44:14 PM  
So, what happens when you combine this...

25.media.tumblr.com

... with this?

www.skymall.com

Someone with a mixed pet household really has to get on that experiment.
 
2012-12-04 08:46:41 PM  

ami5000: For those times when you just want to spray your TV down with a hose

[25.media.tumblr.com image 380x380]


porno booth TV?
 
2012-12-04 08:52:12 PM  

ToxicMunkee: InspectorZero: ToxicMunkee: [i1195.photobucket.com image 380x380]

Sir, unless you can fit that under your seat we're going to have to check it.

No, the type of person who buys that is the same type that will attempt to stuff it into the overhead bin, forcing *you* to check your size-appropriate roll on.

He's such an asshole, that guy.


They're all assholes! If you can't carry your luggage one mile without it touching the ground, you don't deserve to bring it on board. Fark you, check it! If the shiat you were lugging around was that important it'd be in a halliburton case handcuffed to your wrist.

On a side note, it's hilarious to travel with a Halliburton. People keep asking, "is there something in there?". Yeah, 300 thousand dollars and a dildo, now fark off and get back to the B group, you farking parasite.
 
2012-12-04 09:04:37 PM  

devilskware: doczoidberg: dahmers love zombie: This is the funniest damn thread I've seen in months. I have no idea why, but I'm still just DYING at this one:
[i.imgur.com image 380x380]
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"


That thing actually looks like it would be a lot of fun.

That thing is NOT FUN!!!! My swim trunks started to come off somehow so I had to tuck my legs in to keep from losing them. Ended up smashing myself in the face a few times with my knees because the boat driver was going around in circles draggin me over the wakes.. Had knots all over my head.



I don't know.. that sounds pretty fun to watch.
 
2012-12-04 09:10:24 PM  

Adjective Bird Whiskey: You're kind of f*cked if your burglar has the munchies though.

[cdnl.complex.com image 620x400]


I think that would be pretty easy to make
 
2012-12-04 09:20:32 PM  
i bought this a couple years ago off of skymall for my parents, because its ridiculous.

www.skymall.com 

it is in their living room by the piano. my mom crocheted little hats for them to wear.
 
2012-12-04 09:50:08 PM  

pizen: HAL, open the pod bay doors right meow.

[25.media.tumblr.com image 380x380]


i.imgur.com

"I'm sorry, Fluffy, I cannot do that"
 
2012-12-04 11:10:08 PM  
Saw my new favorite on a flight a couple weeks ago...Pug Uggs.
Ugg boots for your dog.

Unlike Kitten Mittens they'll never sell.
 
2012-12-04 11:58:13 PM  

Blushing Wall Flower: Adjective Bird Whiskey: It's a cat pressure cooker

[25.media.tumblr.com image 380x380]

Oh dear god I snorted.


It's a Litter Robot. People I knew had one of these for kitty. Took up a huge space and stank like crap.
 
2012-12-05 12:15:04 AM  

brap: MEEEEEOOWWWWW! I'm sure you get this all the time but has anyone ever told you that you're built like a BRICK SHIATEHOUSE? DAAAAMMMMMMMMN! [i253.photobucket.com image 380x380]


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-05 12:28:07 AM  

Darkwing: Saw my new favorite on a flight a couple weeks ago...Pug Uggs.
Ugg boots for your dog.

Unlike Kitten Mittens they'll never sell.


These? Eesh. I've heard of worse concepts, but wow those are ugly.

/And overpriced.
//Which goes without saying.
 
2012-12-05 12:52:54 AM  

Adjective Bird Whiskey: Ok I actually like this one kind of.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 380x380]



Came here to say the same. Reminds me a bit of Calvin's snowmen, the way it takes an ordinary kind of front yard ornamentation in an imaginatively and amusingly weird direction. They also look like the kind of zany aliens whom Spaceman Spiff might temporarily be captured by.
 
2012-12-05 01:21:37 AM  

McBatt: Still my favorite Skymall item.

[www.skymall.com image 380x380]

I'm not sure what my reaction to an actual human being using one of these would be.


It looks like it is even too big to be a carry-on these days.
 
2012-12-05 01:41:02 AM  

CruJones: I want the full body massage chair. The one that even massages your calves and feet.

Seriously.


I tried a massage chair in an airport once. It didn't work very well, some parts were ineffective, some were painful. I like my massage a little deep/hard so for it to be painful it had to be pretty bad. I'd be amazed if one from Skymall worked any better.
 
2012-12-05 09:22:39 AM  

Ed Grubermann: [25.media.tumblr.com image 268x268]
A new decoration for the piano in the living room.


Boot to the head
 
2012-12-05 10:23:16 AM  

phedex: i bought this a couple years ago off of skymall for my parents, because its ridiculous.

[www.skymall.com image 380x380] 

it is in their living room by the piano. my mom crocheted little hats for them to wear.


My mother in law bought that statue for our house. They sit peeking over our end table now, scaring the occasional guest that gets a little tipsy and forgets about them.
 
2012-12-05 12:10:13 PM  

ami5000: www.skymall.com


I wore those for medical reasons in a hospital once and they are awesome. I might have found something to buy from Skymall. FSA Eligible?
 
2012-12-05 01:35:40 PM  

Ed Grubermann: [25.media.tumblr.com image 268x268]
A new decoration for the piano in the living room.


Note: Tank accessory for Skymall BabyquariumTM is $159.99 extra.

/BABYQUARIUM WILL NEVAR DIE
//And, well, Skymall does serve a purpose for those things Too Expensive For The As Seen On TV Store, Too Cheap For Brookstone, And Otherwise Unsalable Due To Sharper Image Having Gone Out Of Business. Which is to say, it serves as a source of monumental LULZ
///kind of amazed they're getting away with selling a Pringles stash jar as an "anti-burglar" tool, hehe
 
2012-12-05 04:15:12 PM  

strapp3r


24.media.tumblr.com

seriously?

my old school knuckle meat pounder works just fine

/is it knuckle-meat?
//or is it meat-pounder?
///to the lab!


probably great for killing spiders though.
 
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