Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Buzzfeed)   The 10 Commandments Of Awesome Hot Chocolate: never ever use powder   (buzzfeed.com ) divider line
    More: Advice, whisk, brown sugars, half-and-half, nutmeg  
•       •       •

15629 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 3:58 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



183 Comments   (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-04 12:50:55 PM  
Campton Place Hot Chocolate

Ingredients

2 cups whole milk
1/2 cup cream
2 tablespoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1 recipe Master Ganache, recipe follows, using 2 cups cream instead of 1
1/2 teaspoon Tia Maria or vanilla extract
Whipped cream, for serving
Chocolate shavings, for serving

Directions

Bring the milk, cream, and cocoa powder to a boil in a small saucepan over medium heat. When it reaches a boil, remove from the heat, and add the ganache. Let sit for 1 minute, then stir well until combined, about 4 minutes. Stir in the Tia Maria or vanilla.

Serve the hot chocolate right away as is or store it covered in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks. It can be reheated easily on the stovetop or in the microwave. If you wish, top with whipped cream and chocolate shavings.

Master Ganache:

Can deep, dark, intense, rich, velvety smooth chocolate be a spiritual experience? It certainly is heavenly when mixed with cream. Praise the pastry angels and pass the bonbons!

This is the basic ganache recipe. Use it for truffles, tarts, fillings, you name it. Follow the same technique when adjusting the recipe for firm and soft ganache. An alternative food processor method is given, which can be applied to any ganache recipe in this chapter.

My desire is not only to introduce you to ganache but also to make it a staple in your refrigerator. As long as you don't eat it all as a midnight snack, it can be available to help you throw together dessert at a moment's notice.

8 ounces bittersweet chocolate

1 cup heavy cream

Using a serrated knife, finely chop the chocolate into 1/4-inch pieces. Don't be lazy here. Big chunks will not melt.

Traditional method: Place the chocolate in a medium heatproof bowl. Bring the cream to a boil in a small saucepan over medium heat. Boiling means the cream will actually rise up in the pan and threaten to boil over.

Immediately pour the boiling cream over the chopped chocolate. Tap the bowl on the counter to settle the chocolate into the cream, then let it sit for 1 minute. Using a rubber spatula, slowly stir in a circular motion, starting from the center of the bowl, and working out to the sides. Be careful not to add too much air to the ganache. Stir until all the chocolate is melted, about 2 minutes. It may look done after 1 minute of stirring, but keep going to be sure it's emulsified.

Food processor method: Place the chopped chocolate in a food processor fitted with the steel blade. Bring the cream to a boil in a small saucepan over medium heat (or bring to a boil in the microwave.)

Immediately pour the hot cream into the food processor, on top of the chocolate. Let sit for 1 minute, then pulse the machine 3 times. Scrape down the sides with a rubber spatula and pulse 3 more times, until all the chocolate is melted. This smooth, silky chocolate is now ganache. Transfer the ganache to a bowl.

Let the ganache sit at room temperature until it cools to 70 degrees F. In a 65 degree F room, this will take approximately 4 hours or 2 hours in the refrigerator. You can speed up the process by pouring the ganache out onto a clean baking sheet (thinner layers cool faster.) Once the ganache reaches 70 degrees F, it is ready to be used. At this point it can be covered and stored in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

Yield: 2 cups

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

Inactive Prep Time: 2 to 4 hours

Ease of preparation: Easy

--

I have only ever used this recipe to make hot chocolate, so I have no others to use for comparison. However, this recipe makes some reeeeeaaaaly good hot chocolate.
 
2012-12-04 01:02:58 PM  
2. Do not accept cocoa from a Sampler Box.
 
2012-12-04 01:10:21 PM  
www.lovechoco.org 
 
Bonus: you get to use a hammer.
 
2012-12-04 01:18:08 PM  
Damn food snobs.

static.caloriecount.about.com
 
2012-12-04 01:23:02 PM  
chocolatechicgifts.com

+

burlapanddenim.com

Don't use powder my ass.
 
2012-12-04 01:30:05 PM  
Hey, some Swiss Miss in a mug with a bunch of marshmallows is good enough for me, snobmitter. It's hot chocolate. It doesn't need to be fancy. It's supposed to be hot and chocolaty.
 
2012-12-04 01:31:18 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com

why would you? he's about as far from chocolate as you can get
 
2012-12-04 01:33:28 PM  
If you really like chocolate, and you've ever had the super-rich, super-intense hot chocolate at the famous Angelina cafe in Paris (or similar places in France and Italy), you'll never want to have anything else:

www.jodyrobbins.com

It's think and intense--it tastes like a liquified chocolate bar--and it's delicious, as long as you're really into chocolate. Of course, you can't drink it too often, or it will kill you. Here's the recipe:

3/4 cup of whole milk
1/4 cup of heavy cream
4 oz of really good dark (at least 72%) chocolate (not Hershey's or Ghirardelli or similar mass-market crap--think something at least of the quality of Scharfenberger or Valrhona, or better)
1 teaspoon of confectioner's sugar

Use a double-boiler to heat the milk and cream, when it gets warm, throw in the sugar and chocolate (cut into small chunks). Whisk as chocolate melts, until smooth (and until it looks like the picture above). Serve when it just starting to get to the boiling point, or just below. Whipped cream on top is optional.

You will not be sorry. But only, as I said above, if you really like chocolate. As I do. But a warning: After having this, every other hot chocolate will taste like Swiss Miss or Nestle's cocoa.
 
2012-12-04 01:34:59 PM  

Cyberluddite: It's think thick and intense--it tastes like a liquified chocolate bar--and it's delicious, as long as you're really into chocolate. .


FTFM.
 
2012-12-04 01:41:58 PM  
inb4 hot cocoa sa

Complicit: 2. Do not accept cocoa from a Sampler Box.


... fack....
 
2012-12-04 01:49:48 PM  
Jeffrey Steingarten had a great article about this in December's Vogue. He says that perfect hot chocolate is one of the few world-class foods that's affordable to pretty much everyone. He uses mostly chopped chocolate, but adds a teaspoonful of cocoa too.
 
2012-12-04 01:53:18 PM  
Okay, listen... that's all really well and good. I understand that it makes a better cup of hot chocolate than Swiss Miss.

But it's a lot of work. Caribou Coffee is a five minute walk from my office and uses real bits of chocolate, not powder. It's fast and simple, even though they pour the chocolate in the milk and then steam it all together. I can get some kind of flavor shot if I'm feeling it -- dark chocolate + cherry flavor shot = Black Forest Hot Chocolate.

And even though I prefer dark chocolate like the article suggests, there's nothing wrong with the milk chocolate version. It's a comfort drink. Whatever floats your boat.

/white chocolate is right out
 
2012-12-04 02:08:21 PM  

FishyFred: /white chocolate is right out


White chocolate is what's left after you take chocolate and remove everything that makes chocolate good.
 
2012-12-04 02:09:22 PM  

Huck Chaser: FishyFred: /white chocolate is right out

White chocolate is what's left after you take chocolate and remove everything that makes chocolate good.


Heeeey. I like good quality white chocolate.
 
2012-12-04 02:26:06 PM  

BKITU: inb4 hot cocoa sa

Complicit: 2. Do not accept cocoa from a Sampler Box.

... fack....


Ha! I love the older memes.
 
2012-12-04 02:31:18 PM  
1) Melt down an iron skillet's worth of Three Musketeers bars.
2) Pour melted chocolate and nougat into a glass of milk.
3) BAM. Tell the results don't shock you.
 
2012-12-04 02:43:01 PM  
Recipe: Hot Cocoa

Jack Bishop mentioned this recipe on today's Fresh Air and we couldn't help but get the entire recipe.

Serves 4 in small mugs

Why This Recipe Works

Our ideal hot cocoa recipe would give us serious chocolate flavor and a rich, satisfying consistency. We found that 1 1/2 tablespoons of cocoa powder sweetened with 1 tablespoon of sugar added enough chocolate flavor to our hot cocoa recipe without being overpowering. Many recipes recommend mixing cocoa powder and sugar with a little water before adding the milk, and we found this to be worthwhile. Water has the effect of releasing the cocoa powder's fruit, chocolate, and coffee flavor nuances. We also discovered that heating the mixture of cocoa powder, sugar, and water for two minutes before adding milk further deepens the flavor.

If you want to increase or decrease this recipe for hot cocoa, the key ratio to remember is one and one-half tablespoons of cocoa and one heaping tablespoon of sugar per cup of liquid. If you have whole milk on hand rather than low-fat, go ahead and use it, omitting the half-and-half.

Ingredients

6 tablespoons Dutch-processed cocoa powder, measured by dip-and-sweep
4 tablespoons granulated sugar
Pinch table salt
1cup water
3 cups low-fat milk (1 or 2 percent)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup half-and-half

Instructions

1. In heavy 2-quart saucepan, whisk together cocoa, sugar, salt, and water over low heat until smooth. Simmer, whisking continuously, for 2 minutes, making sure whisk gets into the edges of pan.

2. Add milk, increase heat to medium-low, and cook, stirring occasionally with whisk, until steam rises from surface and tiny bubbles form around edge, 12 to 15 minutes. Do not boil.

3. Add vanilla and half-and-half. For foamy cocoa, beat hot cocoa with hand mixer or transfer to blender and blend until foamy. Divide between four mugs, top with whipped cream or marshmallows if desired, and serve immediately.
 
2012-12-04 03:20:42 PM  

Coco LaFemme: It's supposed to be hot and chocolaty.


They make Swiss Miss in chocolate now? That's new. Last I checked, the only flavor was brown chalk.
 
2012-12-04 03:25:10 PM  

t3knomanser: Coco LaFemme: It's supposed to be hot and chocolaty.

They make Swiss Miss in chocolate now? That's new. Last I checked, the only flavor was brown chalk.


You have to use 3 packets for it to metamorphosize into "chocolate".
 
2012-12-04 03:34:01 PM  

Beerguy: You have to use 3 packets for it to metamorphosize into "chocolate".


I assume you have to pass it under the philosopher's stone as well.
 
2012-12-04 03:34:08 PM  

Cyberluddite: If you really like chocolate, and you've ever had the super-rich, super-intense hot chocolate at the famous Angelina cafe in Paris (or similar places in France and Italy), you'll never want to have anything else:

i>

You went to a cafe in Europe and all you had was hot chocolate? Not even with a nip of brandy in it?

 
2012-12-04 04:01:10 PM  

Pocket Ninja: 1) Melt down an iron skillet's worth of Three Musketeers bars.
2) Pour melted chocolate and nougat into a glass of milk.
3) BAM. Tell the results don't shock you.


... It's you, so, my default reaction is that this must be a TERRIBLE idea.

... but it's YOU, so, what if it's actually THE BEST idea?
 
2012-12-04 04:01:34 PM  

Complicit: 2. Do not accept cocoa from a Sampler Box.


Came here solely for this. Leaving satisfied.
 
2012-12-04 04:04:23 PM  
My recipe is never fail good, and much easier.

1. Heat Water
2. Use Swiss Miss
3. Drink
 
2012-12-04 04:04:32 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com 


My favorite
 
2012-12-04 04:06:04 PM  

Cythraul: Huck Chaser: FishyFred: /white chocolate is right out

White chocolate is what's left after you take chocolate and remove everything that makes chocolate good.

Heeeey. I like good quality white chocolate.


You can have my share.
 
2012-12-04 04:06:20 PM  
KER-RIST! Must you anal-retentives turn every simple little thing into a harrowing ordeal?
 
2012-12-04 04:07:05 PM  
never use powder. ?? what?


www.dreamstime.com
 
2012-12-04 04:07:44 PM  
www.seriouseats.com
 
2012-12-04 04:08:03 PM  
TFA boasts comes off all food snob, but shows Ghiradelli for it's chocolate? Gross.
 
2012-12-04 04:08:25 PM  
...unless you're trying to get your wife addicted to meth.
 
2012-12-04 04:08:27 PM  
So, so wrong -
netdna.webdesignerdepot.com
 
2012-12-04 04:08:50 PM  
11. pizza

cache.gawkerassets.com
 
2012-12-04 04:09:28 PM  
Came here for Ibarra, then remembered it's the internets. Headed to the store now.
 
2012-12-04 04:10:08 PM  
Steps for making good hot chocolate:

1) Make hot chocolate however the fark you want. Power tends to be easiest.
2) Pour in Peppermint Schnapps, Rumbpelminze, Bailey's, or spirit of choice into mixture to taste
3) Drink and enjoy your hot chocolate 15 minutes before the pretentious farks are even done getting the ingredients
 
2012-12-04 04:10:23 PM  
"7. You can use cornstarch to make the hot chocolate extra silky-smooth (optional)."

No, you can't. This is far worse than using dried cocoa (though I know of some really good ones that make excellent hot chocolate). Hot chocolate should contain both milk and heavy cream (two parts milk to one part cream). You first scald the milk very slightly, add the chocolate and sugar, and stir constantly until the chocolate is melted. Then add cream and heat gently until the the solution reduces and thickens a bit. Finally, add some vanilla or a liqueur such as Grand Marnier, Chambord, or whatever you desire.
 
2012-12-04 04:10:36 PM  
Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead
 
2012-12-04 04:11:50 PM  
For true hot chocolate snobs:

Use the smallest portion size setting on your Keurig, and it will make the hot chocolate richer.
 
2012-12-04 04:12:08 PM  
You can mix the powder with a liquid (I use cream or if necessary whole milk), and then add it to the milk you heated up in a mug.
 
2012-12-04 04:13:48 PM  

JackieRabbit: No, you can't. This is far worse than using dried cocoa


Sure you can. Just whisk a couple teaspoons of cornstarch with 1/4 cup of cold milk, then stir that into the cocoa as it finishes cooking. It'll thicken right up.
 
2012-12-04 04:13:48 PM  
Just grab this...

i.imgur.com

and some hot whole milk.

Far better than any of that Carnation crap.
 
2012-12-04 04:13:51 PM  

oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead


QFT.
 
2012-12-04 04:13:51 PM  

evilmrsock: Pocket Ninja: 1) Melt down an iron skillet's worth of Three Musketeers bars.
2) Pour melted chocolate and nougat into a glass of milk.
3) BAM. Tell the results don't shock you.

... It's you, so, my default reaction is that this must be a TERRIBLE idea.

... but it's YOU, so, what if it's actually THE BEST idea?


My reaction as well. There is a fine line between genius and stupid and this recipe might be either.
 
2012-12-04 04:14:13 PM  
So instead of saying "Hey, here's a cool way to make hot chocolate." the article goes the route of "This is the only way to make hot chocolate, and your way sucks."
 
2012-12-04 04:14:21 PM  

Pocket Ninja: 1) Melt down an iron skillet's worth of Three Musketeers bars.
2) Pour melted chocolate and nougat into a glass of milk.
3) BAM. Tell the results don't shock you.


[notsureifserious.jpg]
 
2012-12-04 04:15:29 PM  
Boozy cocoa? Just another reason I hate living in Washington State.
 
2012-12-04 04:18:02 PM  
I've got a can of premium quality chocolate shavings that has the recipe for hot chocolate printed on the outside. I don't recall the maker but it's not Nestle or Ghiradelli. I do a lot of baking this time of year so I may have found a new use for all those shavings...
 
2012-12-04 04:18:07 PM  
THIS IS FARK.COM
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-12-04 04:18:12 PM  

Beerguy: [chocolatechicgifts.com image 301x396]

+

[burlapanddenim.com image 480x480]

Don't use powder my ass.


So much this, for both reasons.

You can also shake your hot chocolate - just get a completely sealable container that's easy to hold closed (you'll need to apply your own pressure unless it locks) and shake vigorously. I know most of you farkers know how to shake vigorously. Now, the only problem is that the powered hot chocolate actually releases a lot of gas as it combines with water (normally this is not detectable, since it's an open cup, but you'll really experience it in pressurized form), so you need to be sure the vessel can hold together and be careful when you open it to release pressure slowly. Releasing pressure quickly will cause the boiling hot water to spray all over you... not so good... :)

A 20oz bottle works great for this purpose, as you can just barely twist the lid open and let off a tiny bit of pressure, and reclose it as necessary.
 
2012-12-04 04:18:51 PM  
Uh, what if its actual cocoa powder?

s3-media2.ak.yelpcdn.com
 
2012-12-04 04:19:30 PM  

oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead


That's correct.

And just to piss you off though, I will take mine with one ice cube, please.
 
2012-12-04 04:23:02 PM  
Don't heat milk or chocolate in a pan, use a double boiler
 
2012-12-04 04:23:21 PM  

Shostie: JackieRabbit: No, you can't. This is far worse than using dried cocoa

Sure you can. Just whisk a couple teaspoons of cornstarch with 1/4 cup of cold milk, then stir that into the cocoa as it finishes cooking. It'll thicken right up.


Depending on the heat used, cornstarch needs anywhere from five to 10 minutes to lose its raw flavor. It's okay in something like a pudding, which will cook a bit longer, but not in hot chocolate. My method will produce a creamy chocolate with a nutty flavor. If you want hot chocolate to be very thick, use the European method: melt the chocolate in a double boiler and add hot cream until you have the desired consistency.

/a purist when cooking. never. cut. corners.
 
2012-12-04 04:23:29 PM  

JackieRabbit: "7. You can use cornstarch to make the hot chocolate extra silky-smooth (optional)."

No, you can't. This is far worse than using dried cocoa (though I know of some really good ones that make excellent hot chocolate)...


I am not going to trust some stupid article that suggests adding cornstarch to my hot cocoa, just no. Dried cocoa can be awesome, just use a good one like this:

i.imgur.com

Love Wilbur :)
 
2012-12-04 04:23:56 PM  
You know, some cold evenings, I just want a quick hot chocolate. It doesn't have to look like Alton Brown invaded my kitchen and take $50 worth of ingrediants to make something passable. I just make it strong, use my hot water dispenser to hydrate it, and use a splash of sugar free syrup like the kind tha tyou get at coffee stands to add extra flavor (usually vanilla, but occationally Kaluha, peppermint, or lately, gingerbread).

Yeah, it the Queen of England was coming over I wouldn't serve it, but what are the realistic chances of that?
 
2012-12-04 04:25:16 PM  
1 tablespoon of top-shelf cocoa powder
2 tablespoons of sugar
about 1 oz of milk

put the sugar and the powder in a big mug. Slowly add the milk and stir like crazy until there's a smooth brown paste at the bottom of the mug.

Boil some water and top up the mug about 3/4 of the way, stirring the whole time to dissolve the paste

Top up with some cold milk or whipped cream.

De-farkin'-licious. No melting, ho hassle, no double boilers. Beats the hell out of instant hot chocklit powder.
 
2012-12-04 04:25:30 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-04 04:25:37 PM  

H31N0US: oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead

That's correct.

And just to piss you off though, I will take mine with one ice cube, please.


Puh-LEEZE! Two ice cubes!
 
2012-12-04 04:25:38 PM  
Many years ago, they recommended less sugar & processed food for hyperactive kids, instead of speed. That's when I started making Carob & Honey Cocoa.

Link


we still drink it, even though my 30 year old FINALLY outgrew the hyperactive shiat.
 
2012-12-04 04:26:52 PM  

Le Bomb Suprize: evilmrsock: Pocket Ninja: 1) Melt down an iron skillet's worth of Three Musketeers bars.
2) Pour melted chocolate and nougat into a glass of milk.
3) BAM. Tell the results don't shock you.

... It's you, so, my default reaction is that this must be a TERRIBLE idea.

... but it's YOU, so, what if it's actually THE BEST idea?

My reaction as well. There is a fine line between genius and stupid and this recipe might be either.


fark it, my wife's closing tonight. She can't stop me. I'm gonna have a salad, eat a steak, melt down 3 bars of 3 Musketeers, and drink it. MAYBE I'LL EVEN USE THE MINT ONES.

If i don't post back in this thread, send my wife flowers.
 
2012-12-04 04:27:43 PM  

carnifex2005: Just grab this...


They sell that at the electronics store?
 
2012-12-04 04:30:22 PM  
Who knew there were hot chocolate snobs? I'd heard of beer snobs and shaving snobs. But this one is new.
 
2012-12-04 04:33:48 PM  

Treygreen13: Who knew there were hot chocolate snobs? I'd heard of beer snobs and shaving snobs. But this one is new.


We need to establish cities and regions for different types of hot chocolate to make it truly inane.

Like, "BOISE HOT CHOCOLATE IS THE BEST ALL YOU PEOPLE EATING BIRMINGHAM, ALABAMA HOT CHOCOLATE ARE WRONG! ENJOY YOUR CHOCOLATE CASSEROLE, ASSHOLES!
 
2012-12-04 04:33:51 PM  
Take the slabs of chocolate you get from the wholesale shop, Belguim of course, this thing is big and weighs 5 kilo's (11 lbs) use a hammer to break it up and get a cup of hot water. perfect!
 
2012-12-04 04:35:29 PM  
Whatever, subby. My cocaine hot chocolate mix always gets rave reviews from my guests.
 
2012-12-04 04:37:02 PM  

Treygreen13: Who knew there were hot chocolate snobs? I'd heard of beer snobs and shaving snobs. But this one is new.


Meh, you can make good and shiatty versions of just about anything, and doing it "right" will matter to some people and some other people won't give a damn and consume the shiatty version.

I won't eat shiatty pizza and I don't really care about Dr. Pepper clones.
 
2012-12-04 04:39:33 PM  

Salmon: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 498x646]


Looks like he was finishing up fisting some poor smuck with diarrhea.
 
2012-12-04 04:39:51 PM  
Hot chocolate for the 1% :p

Then again, I might not have a choice soon. Out of the three grocery store chains in my area, I can only find two or three makes of hot chocolate mix that DON'T have aspartame / splenda / artificial shiat sweetener in them. That stuff gives my wife splitting headaches and makes her sick to her stomach, so we're running mighty low on chocolate stock around here. We do have some Dutch chocolate powder in the house that nobody but me likes, though, so I might have to doctor it up a bit to see what I can get out of it.
 
2012-12-04 04:39:52 PM  

oldfarthenry: KER-RIST! Must you anal-retentives turn every simple little thing into a harrowing ordeal?


Amen...

Make some friends. Spend time with family... THAT is what will fill the empty whole inside of you that's crying out for something authentic, something of substance...

Stop being overwrought douchebag connoisseurs of everything.

And unless you grew up plucking olives off the tree in your nonno's yard in Sicily, DON'T pronounce "mozzarella" as "MOOTZ-ah-rell."

(Yes, I'm talking to you, 'R'-rolling douchebag attorney behind me in line at lunch today.)
 
2012-12-04 04:39:59 PM  
This stuff is pretty tasty:

www.caffedamore.com 

Linky link link
 
2012-12-04 04:40:26 PM  
Swiss Miss or Carnation works for me. Marshmallow fluff on top for that extra treat.
 
2012-12-04 04:41:18 PM  
It is 73 degrees in Texas. Fark any drink that is served hot right now.
 
2012-12-04 04:42:34 PM  

JohnTuttle


we're running mighty low on chocolate stock around here. We do have some Dutch chocolate powder in the house that nobody but me likes, though, so I might have to doctor it up a bit to see what I can get out of it.


If only there were some way to request - nay, order - a desired product and have it magically transported to one's own home. Truly that would be miraculous.
 
2012-12-04 04:42:37 PM  
Proper way to make hot chocolate:

1) Open beer and pour into glass of choice.
2) Start drinking your beer as you find a coffee mug.
3) Add packet of instant hot chocolate to mug and fill 2/3 full of water - microwave for 50 seconds.
4) Sip your beer as you wait for microwave to finish.
5) Remove hot chocolate, give it a stir, throw in too many marshmallows and 2 coffee straws.
6) Give hot chocolate to your 5 year old boy and laugh as he goes nuts because of the extra marshmallows.
7) Cuddle up with your kid and enjoy your beer while watching cartoons.
 
2012-12-04 04:42:42 PM  
www.energyfiend.com

+

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2012-12-04 04:44:12 PM  
The Hooville Martini
(makes one; recipe from Southwest Airlines Spirit, Feb. '09)
1 3/4 ounce vodka
3/4 ounce amaretto liqueur
1 1/2 ounce Yoo-Hoo

Garnish:
Chocolate shavings (I used white and dark chocolate)
Hot cocoa mix, for rim

1.Combine vodka, amaretto and Yoo-hoo in an ice-filled cocktail shaker.
2. Shake vigorously and strain into a cocoa-rimmed martini glass.
3. Garnish with chocolate shavings.
 
2012-12-04 04:46:07 PM  
- 1 packet Swiss Miss
- 1 Mini-Moo
- Coffee

The morning wake-me-up when I get to work.
 
2012-12-04 04:47:15 PM  

JackieRabbit: Shostie: JackieRabbit: No, you can't. This is far worse than using dried cocoa

Sure you can. Just whisk a couple teaspoons of cornstarch with 1/4 cup of cold milk, then stir that into the cocoa as it finishes cooking. It'll thicken right up.

Depending on the heat used, cornstarch needs anywhere from five to 10 minutes to lose its raw flavor. It's okay in something like a pudding, which will cook a bit longer, but not in hot chocolate.


Absolutely. That's why you use a couple grams of xanthan gum instead.
 
2012-12-04 04:47:26 PM  
Rocky mountain chocolate factory whistler's blend. End of story...too many have told me it's better than sex...
 
2012-12-04 04:48:55 PM  
In college we would basically make those but then add in Baileys and pot butter, then usually do something like build a blanket fort
 
2012-12-04 04:49:07 PM  

zulius: Rocky mountain chocolate factory whistler's blend. End of story...too many have told me it's better than sex...


That's because you're spectacularly bad at sex.
 
2012-12-04 04:49:23 PM  

Shostie: JackieRabbit: No, you can't. This is far worse than using dried cocoa

Sure you can. Just whisk a couple teaspoons of cornstarch with 1/4 cup of cold milk, then stir that into the cocoa as it finishes cooking. It'll thicken right up.


Or you could just microwave a tub of instant pudding and drink it.
 
2012-12-04 04:51:15 PM  
...but first make sure it organic whole milk from a local artisinal dairy, and shade-grown fair-trade cocoa sustainably harvested by co-op owners.


fark all that:
1) Hershey's Syrup
2) Milk
3) Microwave

Drink it. Done!
 
2012-12-04 04:52:49 PM  
Wait wait, you can MAKE marshmallows?
 
2012-12-04 04:52:51 PM  
I don't have to dirty a pan, keep whole milk and cream stocked in the fridge, or make a farking quart of hot chocolate if I just use powder. This is an instance where there is a vast difference in convenience that makes me comfortable about the trade-off in quality.
 
2012-12-04 04:53:57 PM  

gopher321: Cyberluddite: If you really like chocolate, and you've ever had the super-rich, super-intense hot chocolate at the famous Angelina cafe in Paris (or similar places in France and Italy), you'll never want to have anything else:

i>

You went to a cafe in Europe and all you had was hot chocolate? Not even with a nip of brandy in it?


You've obviously never seen this place. There's a line out into the street every damn morning for the hot chocolate. Magic doesn't really describe it.
 
2012-12-04 04:54:36 PM  
Thanks subby, great find. Next time I want to spend half my morning making and cleaning up after my drink, I'll ask you for advice.
 
2012-12-04 04:56:18 PM  
All these recipes are FAIL because none have chili powder in them.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
 
2012-12-04 04:57:15 PM  
The trick is to use alkalized cocoa powder.

/Makes cocoa mix for a living, getting a kick
 
2012-12-04 04:57:24 PM  

ProfessorOhki: Wait wait, you can MAKE marshmallows?


Yes
 
2012-12-04 04:57:58 PM  
If you use the powdered stuff, first make a simple syrup with water, sugar and powdered cocoa...then add milk. No clumps
 
2012-12-04 04:59:17 PM  

Le Bomb Suprize: evilmrsock: Pocket Ninja: 1) Melt down an iron skillet's worth of Three Musketeers bars.
2) Pour melted chocolate and nougat into a glass of milk.
3) BAM. Tell the results don't shock you.

... It's you, so, my default reaction is that this must be a TERRIBLE idea.

... but it's YOU, so, what if it's actually THE BEST idea?

My reaction as well. There is a fine line between genius and stupid and this recipe might be either.


Post sounds beyond ridiculous- default action: ignore.

Difficulty: It's highlighted in green because it's PN.

/i'd probably react the same way to "dip your sea salt fries in a wendy's frosty" before I knew about that
 
2012-12-04 04:59:20 PM  
4 ounces of chocolate? Pansies!
img812.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-04 04:59:34 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: JohnTuttle

we're running mighty low on chocolate stock around here. We do have some Dutch chocolate powder in the house that nobody but me likes, though, so I might have to doctor it up a bit to see what I can get out of it.


If only there were some way to request - nay, order - a desired product and have it magically transported to one's own home. Truly that would be miraculous.


So I can pay shipping costs on top of of the cost of the exact same items I can find locally, and to still end up with artificial sweetener? Thanks, but no thanks.
 
2012-12-04 05:02:12 PM  
I'll say one thing for powdered chocolate. It's a lot easier to snort.
www.blogcdn.com
 
2012-12-04 05:03:25 PM  

brakiachi: The trick is to use alkalized cocoa powder.

/Makes cocoa mix for a living, getting a kick


You meant not to, right? Not to use Dutch process. Right?
 
2012-12-04 05:08:04 PM  

Pocket Ninja: 1) Melt down an iron skillet's worth of Three Musketeers bars.
2) Pour melted chocolate and nougat into a glass of milk.
3) BAM. Tell the results don't shock you.


In all seriousness, I bet that would be all kinds of awesomesauce. In fact, I may just try it over Christmas while my wife is out of town. However (and I am NOT an expect) I think you would want to use a metal bowl over water rather than a skillet.
 
2012-12-04 05:08:59 PM  
cdn.vosgeschocolate.com
 
2012-12-04 05:10:28 PM  

Cyberluddite: If you really like chocolate, and you've ever had the super-rich, super-intense hot chocolate at the famous Angelina cafe in Paris (or similar places in France and Italy), you'll never want to have anything else:


That's like saying if I fark a supermodel in Paris, I'll never want to fark anyone else. If Swiss Miss is the only thing in the cupboard or if the homely girl is the only one left at the bar...I'll take it
 
2012-12-04 05:11:15 PM  

illannoyin: Hai gize! Whuz goin on in this thred?

[www.magicmoviemachine.com image 582x289]

/My penis tastes like chocolate
//It squirts diamonds and coupons for free shoes
///That's right ladies, I'm the perfect man
\Call me


Is two flavors really worthy of being called a "sampler?"
 
2012-12-04 05:11:55 PM  
caramelofoto.smugmug.com 

This is really good, bitter and all. I like my chocolate to be bitter.
 
2012-12-04 05:13:22 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

What does the old secret decoder ring say?
 
2012-12-04 05:19:19 PM  

Cyberluddite: If you really like chocolate, and you've ever had the super-rich, super-intense hot chocolate at the famous Angelina cafe in Paris (or similar places in France and Italy), you'll never want to have anything else:

[www.jodyrobbins.com image 500x375]

It's think and intense--it tastes like a liquified chocolate bar--and it's delicious, as long as you're really into chocolate. Of course, you can't drink it too often, or it will kill you. Here's the recipe:

3/4 cup of whole milk
1/4 cup of heavy cream
4 oz of really good dark (at least 72%) chocolate (not Hershey's or Ghirardelli or similar mass-market crap--think something at least of the quality of Scharfenberger or Valrhona, or better)
1 teaspoon of confectioner's sugar

Use a double-boiler to heat the milk and cream, when it gets warm, throw in the sugar and chocolate (cut into small chunks). Whisk as chocolate melts, until smooth (and until it looks like the picture above). Serve when it just starting to get to the boiling point, or just below. Whipped cream on top is optional.

You will not be sorry. But only, as I said above, if you really like chocolate. As I do. But a warning: After having this, every other hot chocolate will taste like Swiss Miss or Nestle's cocoa.


Jacques Torres in NYC does a kick ass hot chocolate, either plain or spicy.

an alternate suggestion to your above recipe to make ganache:
ditch the whole milk, add a teaspoon of butter. stir until creamy.
let cool to room temperature, and top with a pinch of sea salt and a drizzle of good olive oil.

ermagherd
 
2012-12-04 05:21:45 PM  
Honestly... nothing is more satisfying to me when I want hot chocolate than Swiss Miss hot cocoa packets with the tiny marshmallows in, and I use water. Nostalgia and ease mean a tremendous amount for enjoyment.
 
2012-12-04 05:22:11 PM  

ProfessorOhki: illannoyin: Hai gize! Whuz goin on in this thred?

[www.magicmoviemachine.com image 582x289]

/My penis tastes like chocolate
//It squirts diamonds and coupons for free shoes
///That's right ladies, I'm the perfect man
\Call me

Is two flavors really worthy of being called a "sampler?"


I'll have to ask my next date for the sampler.
 
2012-12-04 05:24:01 PM  

emiliogtz: I like my chocolate to be bitter.


You are wrong. That is all.
 
2012-12-04 05:29:11 PM  
Glad to see the old Hot Cocoa Sampler Box thread got mentioned high in the thread. I like all kinds of hot chocolate. Caribou dark is good if I am splurging, Swiss Miss Dark, made with milk and a shot of Hershey's syrup is fine at home.
 
2012-12-04 05:29:58 PM  

ProfessorOhki: Wait wait, you can MAKE marshmallows?


You can make fake imitation ones, like the ones that you buy in the store. Real hot chocolate enthusiasts like those in this thread know that true marshmallows are hand-plucked from marshmallow bushes high in the Andes, dry-aged for at least six weeks in a climate controlled dehydration longhouse and have the marshmallow husks removed immediately prior to serving. Anything less is just uncivilized.
 
2012-12-04 05:30:00 PM  
and elk turds
never forget the elk turds

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-04 05:33:58 PM  
1. Use solid chocolate, NOT cocoa powder.

fark you
www.acqm.com.au
 
2012-12-04 05:34:59 PM  
Oh FARK. Only you could produce a hot chocolate snob thread.
You crazy little website, you.
 
2012-12-04 05:36:19 PM  

bim1154: Swiss Miss or Carnation works for me. Marshmallow fluff on top for that extra treat.


Agreed. Add a little Baileys and I'm set.
 
2012-12-04 05:37:40 PM  

Tax Boy: All these recipes are FAIL because none have chili powder in them.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


My wife just brought home 8 oz bags of both Mayan and Mexican cocoas. Mayan cocoa has cayenne pepper in it; Mexican cocoa has cinnamon in it. Both types have instructions on how to make hot chocolate with them...
 
2012-12-04 05:38:18 PM  
farm5.staticflickr.com
 
2012-12-04 05:38:30 PM  

Eirik: You know, some cold evenings, I just want a quick hot chocolate. It doesn't have to look like Alton Brown invaded my kitchen and take $50 worth of ingrediants to make something passable. I just make it strong, use my hot water dispenser to hydrate it, and use a splash of sugar free syrup like the kind tha tyou get at coffee stands to add extra flavor (usually vanilla, but occationally Kaluha, peppermint, or lately, gingerbread).

Yeah, it the Queen of England was coming over I wouldn't serve it, but what are the realistic chances of that?


Amusingly, Alton Brown's hot cocoa recipe is pretty simple: Dutch cocoa powder, powdered sugar, milk, tiny pinch of salt. Mix powders, heat milk, mix. Drink.
 
2012-12-04 05:38:32 PM  
i bought the 6 pack for post apocalpytic drinking. it's not bad really. and only has 5 mg caffeine

ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-12-04 05:38:52 PM  

Complicit: 2. Do not accept cocoa from a Sampler Box.


Heheh, this.
 
2012-12-04 05:44:28 PM  

Cyberluddite: If you really like chocolate, and you've ever had the super-rich, super-intense hot chocolate at the famous Angelina cafe in Paris (or similar places in France and Italy), you'll never want to have anything else:

[www.jodyrobbins.com image 500x375]

It's think and intense--it tastes like a liquified chocolate bar--and it's delicious, as long as you're really into chocolate. Of course, you can't drink it too often, or it will kill you. Here's the recipe:

3/4 cup of whole milk
1/4 cup of heavy cream
4 oz of really good dark (at least 72%) chocolate (not Hershey's or Ghirardelli or similar mass-market crap--think something at least of the quality of Scharfenberger or Valrhona, or better)
1 teaspoon of confectioner's sugar

Use a double-boiler to heat the milk and cream, when it gets warm, throw in the sugar and chocolate (cut into small chunks). Whisk as chocolate melts, until smooth (and until it looks like the picture above). Serve when it just starting to get to the boiling point, or just below. Whipped cream on top is optional.

You will not be sorry. But only, as I said above, if you really like chocolate. As I do. But a warning: After having this, every other hot chocolate will taste like Swiss Miss or Nestle's cocoa.


You have me thinking of the chocolate served with Churros back when I lived outside of Madrid.

I'm betting it's the same thing.
 
2012-12-04 05:48:30 PM  
thecouponsweeper.com
 
2012-12-04 05:51:50 PM  
I buy E. Guittard chocolate 20 pounds at a time because of a side thing I do making truffles, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

I use the semi-sweet for most things, and leftover chopped chocolate has been known to make its way into mugs full of heated milk and cream.
 
2012-12-04 05:52:30 PM  
Hot apple cider is better anyways.
 
2012-12-04 05:53:39 PM  
Did someone say Hot Chocolate....

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-04 05:55:24 PM  

ChubbyTiger: gopher321: Cyberluddite: If you really like chocolate, and you've ever had the super-rich, super-intense hot chocolate at the famous Angelina cafe in Paris (or similar places in France and Italy), you'll never want to have anything else:

i>

You went to a cafe in Europe and all you had was hot chocolate? Not even with a nip of brandy in it?

You've obviously never seen this place. There's a line out into the street every damn morning for the hot chocolate. Magic doesn't really describe it.


"Magic" doesn't really describe any food unless you're making it appear from behind someone's ear.
 
2012-12-04 05:55:42 PM  
Here's my Foul Bachelor Frog version:

Take a large bowl and a strainer, line strainer with cheesecloth or a mostly clean tshirt and place in bowl.

Pour one box of Cocoa flavored rice cereal into strainer.

Slowly drizzle one gallon of hot milk in a spiraling pattern over cereal, from the edge in. Let drain into bowl.

Drink bowl contents.

Let cereal dry and pour back into box, label it "crisped rice".

Sure it's more chocolate milk, but when you're a Foul Bachelor, does it matter?
 
2012-12-04 05:59:59 PM  

Espertron: [thecouponsweeper.com image 225x225]


Do they still have toys in Quik? Somewhere I think I still have the MUSCLE Men that they had for a while back in the 80's.
 
2012-12-04 06:08:24 PM  

Bendal: Tax Boy: All these recipes are FAIL because none have chili powder in them.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

My wife just brought home 8 oz bags of both Mayan and Mexican cocoas. Mayan cocoa has cayenne pepper in it; Mexican cocoa has cinnamon in it. Both types have instructions on how to make hot chocolate with them...


Mexican hot chocolate is pretty much all I ever drink.
Extra frothy please....
 
2012-12-04 06:13:41 PM  
Some soft-spoken guy from Italy opened a gelato shop. They make an unbelievably great hot chocolate there. I do occasionally mix up some Swiss Miss, but the usual is Ibarra with whipped cream and nutmeg.
 
2012-12-04 06:20:10 PM  

oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead


Step 1 think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 understand that women tend to get frisky under blankets when you serve them rich hot chocolate spiked with peppermint booze
Step 3 make hot chocolate spiked with peppermint booze
Step 4 serve to frisky woman who is under a blanket
Step 5 join her
Step 6 get frisky because you didn't get whiskey dick from drinking distilled bog water
 
2012-12-04 06:21:37 PM  
I work for a living. I sure as hell don't want to have to work for my hot chocolate too.

Actually though, i don't drink hot chocolate. I generally find it to be cloyingly sweet, and it is usually a weird form of "too thick" for me to enjoy. I drink Hot Cocoa instead, which the article appears to have confused with Hot Chocolate for some reason.

I don't know about you guys, but when I make Hot Cocoa it comes out rich and smooth, and completely without grit. Grit comes primarily from using crappy Cocoa, but even then it can be fixed if mixed properly. Also, thanks to my Utilitea, I can have it ready to drink (including being the right temperature) in just 2.5 minutes. It's not the same as Hot Chocolate, but it is very good, and super fast.
 
2012-12-04 06:24:03 PM  
The trick to using cocoa powder is that you add just a little milk to the powder, and mix until all the powder is absorbed. Then add a little more milk and mix until it's even consistency. Repeat, adding more milk each time, until you've used all your milk. This way you don't end up with cocoa lumps.
 
2012-12-04 06:26:10 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead

Step 1 think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 understand that women tend to get frisky under blankets when you serve them rich hot chocolate spiked with peppermint booze
Step 3 make hot chocolate spiked with peppermint booze
Step 4 serve to frisky woman who is under a blanket
Step 5 join her
Step 6 get frisky because you didn't get whiskey dick from drinking distilled bog water


Step 7 Emergency room from hot chocolate burns on... well, that's not important.
 
2012-12-04 06:28:31 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead

Step 1 think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 understand that women tend to get frisky under blankets when you serve them rich hot chocolate spiked with peppermint booze
Step 3 make hot chocolate spiked with peppermint booze
Step 4 serve to frisky woman who is under a blanket
Step 5 join her
Step 6 get frisky because you didn't get whiskey dick from drinking distilled bog water


If they got whiskey dick from a glass of scotch, they are most likely posers who took a break from wine coolers to have a man's drink.
 
2012-12-04 06:31:05 PM  
Anyone else remember that super-rich chocolate concoction that Starbucks used to have about 8-10 years ago? Very small serving size. I can't remember the name.
 
2012-12-04 06:32:22 PM  
I've been to Angelina and it's really good, but I still normally drink my hot chocolate from a mix...with milk, not water.
 
2012-12-04 06:51:14 PM  
i863.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-04 06:52:17 PM  

Cyberluddite: Cyberluddite: It's think thick and intense--it tastes like a liquified chocolate bar--and it's delicious, as long as you're really into chocolate. .

FTFM.


Thick and Intense. Thatswhatshesaid.jpg
 
2012-12-04 06:55:22 PM  
*vomit*
 
2012-12-04 06:59:44 PM  
I love powder. You wanna know why? Where I work, it's FREE, along with coffee and tea.
 
2012-12-04 07:05:52 PM  
If you've never had Amarula in hot chocolate, give it a try. I bring two bottles back each year from Africa, gets me through the winter.
 
2012-12-04 07:06:01 PM  
Or you can do this:

www.officehell.co.uk
 
2012-12-04 07:20:04 PM  
I predict all you hot chocolate snobs weigh about 300 pounds each.
 
2012-12-04 07:27:55 PM  
Stop with the goddamn Buzzfeed links.
 
2012-12-04 07:34:19 PM  

bim1154: Swiss Miss or Carnation works for me. Marshmallow fluff on top for that extra treat.


The only problem I have with Fluff is I buy it for occasional hot chocolate treats and end up eating it all as Fluffernutters. I can lay off of marshmallows, but Fluff is gone before I get a hot chocolate craving. Personally, I just warm some milk in the microwave and use powder. There is a big difference in the quality of powder brands though.
 
2012-12-04 07:39:55 PM  
www.britstore.co.uk

does me fine

just make sure you form a paste with the sugar and cocoa before you add the hot milk
 
2012-12-04 07:50:29 PM  

oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead


DING DING DING! We have a Winner!
 
2012-12-04 07:50:50 PM  

Tanthalas39: Stop with the goddamn Buzzfeed links.


No one makes you click them...
 
2012-12-04 08:00:11 PM  

Publikwerks: Smeggy Smurf: oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead

Step 1 think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 understand that women tend to get frisky under blankets when you serve them rich hot chocolate spiked with peppermint booze
Step 3 make hot chocolate spiked with peppermint booze
Step 4 serve to frisky woman who is under a blanket
Step 5 join her
Step 6 get frisky because you didn't get whiskey dick from drinking distilled bog water

If they got whiskey dick from a glass of scotch, they are most likely posers who took a break from wine coolers to have a man's drink.


To be fair, I use a big cup for my scotch or whiskey. One's plenty
 
2012-12-04 08:07:35 PM  

James!:  
 
Bonus: you get to use a hammer.


F*ck yes.
 
2012-12-04 08:10:20 PM  

Shostie: Recipe: Hot Cocoa

Jack Bishop mentioned this recipe on today's Fresh Air and we couldn't help but get the entire recipe.

Serves 4 in small mugs

Why This Recipe Works

Our ideal hot cocoa recipe would give us serious chocolate flavor and a rich, satisfying consistency. We found that 1 1/2 tablespoons of cocoa powder sweetened with 1 tablespoon of sugar added enough chocolate flavor to our hot cocoa recipe without being overpowering. Many recipes recommend mixing cocoa powder and sugar with a little water before adding the milk, and we found this to be worthwhile. Water has the effect of releasing the cocoa powder's fruit, chocolate, and coffee flavor nuances. We also discovered that heating the mixture of cocoa powder, sugar, and water for two minutes before adding milk further deepens the flavor.

If you want to increase or decrease this recipe for hot cocoa, the key ratio to remember is one and one-half tablespoons of cocoa and one heaping tablespoon of sugar per cup of liquid. If you have whole milk on hand rather than low-fat, go ahead and use it, omitting the half-and-half.

Ingredients

6 tablespoons Dutch-processed cocoa powder, measured by dip-and-sweep
4 tablespoons granulated sugar
Pinch table salt
1cup water
3 cups low-fat milk (1 or 2 percent)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup half-and-half

Instructions

1. In heavy 2-quart saucepan, whisk together cocoa, sugar, salt, and water over low heat until smooth. Simmer, whisking continuously, for 2 minutes, making sure whisk gets into the edges of pan.

2. Add milk, increase heat to medium-low, and cook, stirring occasionally with whisk, until steam rises from surface and tiny bubbles form around edge, 12 to 15 minutes. Do not boil.

3. Add vanilla and half-and-half. For foamy cocoa, beat hot cocoa with hand mixer or transfer to blender and blend until foamy. Divide between four mugs, top with whipped cream or marshmallows if desired, and serve immediately.


This is howe grandma taught me to make it, except with coffe instead of water and 1/4 t cinnamon. This or Mexican hot chocolate. Again, F*ck yes.
 
2012-12-04 08:15:21 PM  

elmixtli: Did someone say Hot Chocolate....

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 326x387]


Pn Greer is a fraking goddess.
/My contribution to the mega data Drew is collecting for Gahwd knows what.
 
2012-12-04 08:16:20 PM  

give me doughnuts: ...but first make sure it organic whole milk from a local artisinal dairy, and shade-grown fair-trade cocoa sustainably harvested by co-op owners.


fark all that:
1) Hershey's Syrup
2) Milk
3) Microwave

Drink it. Done!


Forgot the marshmellows.
 
2012-12-04 08:41:36 PM  

JohnTuttle


So I can pay shipping costs on top of of the cost of the exact same items I can find locally, and to still end up with artificial sweetener? Thanks, but no thanks.


*facepalm*

The point, which went soaring over your head like a majestic eagle, is that you will have more and different options if you order online than you will if you rely only on what's available locally.
 
2012-12-04 08:51:10 PM  
Mandatory: A pinch of nutmeg- not enough so that you drink it and think "this stuff's got nutmeg in it!" but enough to lift the cocoa up a bit.

Also, I am off to the store to buy Three Musketeers, Snickers, York Peppermint Patties, and maybe a couple other varieties of candy bar and give Pocket Ninja's idea a go. I might make a minor change, though: slightly scald the milk THEN add the candy bars. I think putting them directly in a skillet would run the risk of burning them.

With luck, someone will get another hot chocolate thread greenlit tomorrow so I can post the results.
 
2012-12-04 08:58:45 PM  
any chocaholic living near a Whole Foods knows that they sell Valrhona cocoa powder in bulk for $12.99/lb. here in NYC, Hershey's or Nestle go for about $10/lb at the supermarket, so the Valrhona is an insane bargain. much darker, far more tasty, far more chocolatey, far more fragrant...n mixes better.Trader Joe's sells good vanilla for $5 for a 4oz bottle. makes my hot cocoa and my pre/post workout whey protein shakes OUTFRIGGINRAGEOUS. in the latter i'll mix 8oz skim (preworkout) or whole milk (post workout or meal replacement) with a 2 scoops of Optimum Nutrition Gold Standard Whey in Double Chocolate flavor, or any good whey isolate with NO flavor...all other flavors bring weird offensive chemical tastes...add a teaspoon of vanilla, a heaping tablespoon of Valrhona cocoa, n sweetener that varies. amazing, consistently.

as for making hot chocolate, it depends...i find i prefer a mix of solid chocolate (many good brands) n Valrhona cocoa. in terms of the added richness of the cocoa butter, sometimes i want it toned up or down depending on how fatty my dairy base is. if it's whole milk, i can go all solid chocolate, but when u add heavy cream or go half-n-half, i find that added some Valrhona powder prevents the sense of fatty unctuousness from rivaling the cocoa.

i tend to reduce sugar, i may use a teaspoon of sugar, honey or maple syrup along with 2 packets of Splenda in a 14oz mega serving...it still tastes the same as if all sweetener was caloric. i rarely use salt, sometimes it's tastier sometimes not. the level of chocolateyness varies by mood.

for mochas, anything from a teaspoon of instant coffee to a teaspoon of Turkish coffee or espresso powder yields tasty results.

cornstarch is hilarious.
 
2012-12-04 09:01:47 PM  

oldfarthenry: Step 1 - think about making hot chocolate
Step 2 - remember that you're an adult
Step 3 - drink a glass of Scotch instead


Step 4 - sip and pair it with a piece of dark chocolate with a high cacao percentage.
 
2012-12-04 09:08:32 PM  

blunto: I predict all you hot chocolate snobs weigh about 300 pounds each.


I'm 290, but that's only because I'm not a snob about my chocolate.

/Except Hershey's. Nasty nasty Hershey's.
//Except the eggies, those are good.
 
2012-12-04 09:13:37 PM  
step 1. make a snobbish declaration like, "don't ever use powder".
step 2. use Ghirardelli.
step.3. sweeten with maple syrup.
step 4. finish with jumbo Kraft marshmallows.
step 5. swallow your hot cup of fail and go suck a gun turdmitter.

note: step 5 was going to be, "dip my nuts in your cup" but I didn't want anyone licking my balls later and saying they tasted like shiat.
 
2012-12-04 09:30:45 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-04 09:38:09 PM  
I have lactose intolerance. I mix Tim Hortons hot chocolate powder in boiled water with a hand mixer. I like it.

/abhors making food that takes longer to prepare than to consume (waiting periods not included)
 
2012-12-04 09:38:44 PM  
i38.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-04 09:55:22 PM  
I get a good cow, preferably a gurnsey, and feed her nothing but the finest cocoa beans and fine cane sugar for a month.
Then when she's all saturated I hoist her up over a large bonfire and the delicious hot cocoa starts to spray outta the cow titties in about one hour...

Or sometimes I get lazy and purchase a Hot Cocoa Sampler Box.
 
2012-12-04 09:58:42 PM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]


Holy cow, you actually did it.
 
2012-12-04 10:08:56 PM  
evilmrsock Holy Hell.. Really! How was it?
 
2012-12-04 10:11:45 PM  
INGREDIENTS
8 oz. (two 4-oz. bars) dark chocolate...


Dammit - All I have here is half of a 16-oz. bar!
 
2012-12-04 10:12:02 PM  
Too much damn work.

My hot chocolate recipe:

take Chocolate milk, add Hershey's syrup to taste. Nuke for 1:45. Add mini-marshmallows nuke for 30 more seconds
 
2012-12-04 10:17:34 PM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]


*looks at face*

"Highly Recommended"

Double Not Sure If Serious.jpg
 
2012-12-04 10:18:16 PM  
If one of your first ingredients is not real cacao (yes, that is correct) [preferably Peruvian], then you're doing it wrong. I'd still drink it, but still...
 
2012-12-04 10:30:02 PM  

Forsythe P. Jones: evilmrsock Holy Hell.. Really! How was it?


He's gone into a diabetic coma and won't be able to let us know how it worked out. 

/ Impressed
 
2012-12-04 10:39:30 PM  
Best hot choclate Ive ever had is from a craft festival we visit every year. They make it with powder. so Fak ya.
 
2012-12-04 10:48:49 PM  

MartinaMcSorley: Forsythe P. Jones: evilmrsock Holy Hell.. Really! How was it?

He's gone into a diabetic coma and won't be able to let us know how it worked out. 

/ Impressed


I think if I had added a quart of milk to the mix, it MIGHT have been consumable. Half a pint of heavy cream was NOT sufficient. The recipe didn't call for anything but 3 Musketeers! I was cheating enough as it was! But as I was cleaning the pot, it looked more like hot cocoa and less like... nougat stew.

Kinda like the first time I made saurbrauten and said "ahhhh, this can't be right, I'll double the number of ginger snaps" and just had ginger-candied beef chunks. I'll file this next to orange-soda-ramen, which IS actually consumable.
 
2012-12-04 10:49:18 PM  

CarnySaur: So instead of saying "Hey, here's a cool way to make hot chocolate." the article goes the route of "This is the only way to make hot chocolate, and your way sucks."


That actually sounds like a lot of fark comments. So which farker wrote the article?
 
2012-12-04 11:02:27 PM  
My wife just got back and she says the kitchen smells much nicer like 3 Musketeers instead of like steak seasoning. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
 
2012-12-05 12:04:33 AM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]


Wow, you actually did it. Welcome to TF.
 
2012-12-05 12:47:15 AM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]


Outstanding effort! Also PN confirms once again why his posts are in green.

/clapping gifs all around
 
2012-12-05 01:12:40 AM  

Beerguy: [chocolatechicgifts.com image 301x396]

+

[burlapanddenim.com image 480x480]

Don't use powder my ass.


Yes! But my Cocomotion is on its last leg and I can't find them anywhere anymore. Any ideas on where to get a new one, or something like it?
 
2012-12-05 01:37:23 AM  

Espertron: Oh FARK. Only you could produce a hot chocolate snob thread.
You crazy little website, you.


I love you.
//Not gay, but I love you anyway.
 
2012-12-05 01:40:19 AM  
Categories of food: 1. Sustains life.
2. Pretty good
3. Really good.

All are acceptable.

/bunch of farking clowns.
 
2012-12-05 03:58:36 AM  

Treygreen13: Who knew there were hot chocolate snobs? I'd heard of beer snobs and shaving snobs. But this one is new.


There's snobbish wankery for everything. Hell, I'd wager that somewhere out there, there are wanking snobs. "You go one-handed? Pfft, if that's what gets you off, that's ok, I guess. ೨_೨"
 
2012-12-05 09:15:43 AM  

ChubbyTiger: brakiachi: The trick is to use alkalized cocoa powder.

/Makes cocoa mix for a living, getting a kick

You meant not to, right? Not to use Dutch process. Right?


I mean, if you are into hot cocoa that is sour, astringent that also has a horrible color, I guess you could use non alkalized cocoa.

/In fairness a pinch of non alkalized cocoa can enhance flavor in hot cocoa
 
2012-12-05 12:10:43 PM  

evilmrsock: [i.imgur.com image 800x1306]


i tried that but the bag just melted into the pan. it didn't DISAPPEAR like it was "supposed" to
 
2012-12-05 04:19:41 PM  
Marshmallows - no

Salt - yes
 
2012-12-05 08:52:58 PM  
Sometimes you'll take the powder and be damn glad to get it:

patrickbieneman.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-05 11:59:49 PM  

Party Like It's 1975: Sometimes you'll take the powder and be damn glad to get it:

[patrickbieneman.files.wordpress.com image 320x240]


Hoooah!!
 
Displayed 183 of 183 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report