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(ESPN)   In a nutshell: Every team in the league basically sucks to one extent or another, but the Jags now replace the Chiefs as the team that sucks the worst. It's your Week 14 NFL Power Rankings   (espn.go.com) divider line 326
    More: Strange, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, away games, Albert Haynesworth, rankings, Kevin Kolb, Jags, Mike Shanahan, Matt Hasselbeck  
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3434 clicks; posted to Sports » on 04 Dec 2012 at 1:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-04 07:42:24 PM

robsul82: No, I can't exactly complain about Urlacher's injury.


Not celebrating it either, of course, just makes the idea of a collapse more real.
 
2012-12-04 07:43:50 PM

near_starlet: robsul82: ...snip...

...I love you.


ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisT h isThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisTh isThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis ThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisTh isThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThisThis
 
2012-12-04 07:56:15 PM

derpy: The third-string of the Steelers beat the Ravens, proving that even the Steelers' third string is for real, and they only go up one point?

Think about this. Batch just proved that he can still do it, that last week was just shaking off rust. That gives the Steelers a lot less pressure to get Ben back on the field and lets him rest another game or two.

By the playoffs, the Steelers are in on a wild card and the Quarterback (and other key players) are healthy and rested. Nice place to be.


I have a soft spot for Charlie Batch. I clearly remember a late Thanksgiving game a good 12 or 14 years ago... it was Dan Marino's last season. Lions vs. Dolphins. Marino ends up throwing 4 or 5 ints. There's a play during the game where Batch threw an INT after he got hit. It's like you saw him get up, saw that he threw an int, then fell back down immediately -- almost to take the blame off him.

Guy looked sharp enough to help the Steelers to a win though, so mad props to him

/always fun seeing the journeyman QB contribute late into his career
 
2012-12-04 08:32:59 PM

robsul82: PaulieattheTap: robsul82: brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shiat

If can remember all of this I'm going to use it some day. I know I'll use the worm-headed sack of monkey shiat.

Well, that was a reference to National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, as much as I'd like to take credit for it, hehe. "Disgusting fatbody" is Full Metal Jacket.

Thanks for the compliments, all...*tear* God knows it was tough. Theme music for this week's entry - "What Must Be Done" from the score of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford

/...which is strangely appropriate too
//*more tears*


I lost it at the Stations...primarily because of a hash we ran last Maundy Thursday, which included all the stations of the cross--people with varying liquors stationed by churches, waiting for us to run by and take shots.
 
2012-12-04 08:39:03 PM

had98c: RminusQ:
Even the sad Carolina Panthers can still make it! They just need four wins, four SEA losses, three losses each by the Rams, Vikings, Bucs, Cowboys, and Redskins, plus a WAS-DAL tie, PLUS a Saints loss to the Giants PLUS exactly one loss by Arizona.

I still can't get Carolina to show in the ESPN playoff machine even with those conditions. Oh well.


You need to fiddle with the SOV of Arizona and Carolina. This scenario shows the Panthers as the #6 seed.
 
2012-12-04 08:39:27 PM

Dr Dreidel: mootmah: WHAR GRAF

I know I did this last week (maybe I'll add it to the list of Things That Must Appear in an NFL Power Rankings Thread), but:
[72unforcederrorswp.files.wordpress.com image 300x300]

I'M RIGHT FARKING HERE!


I did this one a few weeks ago, but it is probably too jarring to be repeated weekly.

skrame.com
 
2012-12-04 08:51:01 PM

IAmRight: /found Romo a couple weeks ago and that's worked out well anyway


Definitely. He's averaging 24 points in the last 3 weeks. I've been trying to pry him away from people for this late stretch but I think everyone knows about his schedule softening up.

At least until Pittsburgh.
 
2012-12-04 09:12:36 PM
And with that, Roger Goodell punched Drew directly in the balls.

heh
 
2012-12-04 09:33:26 PM

RminusQ: I mean, uh...
Irrational Productions presents...
The Great Tiebreaker Spreadsheet
with your host, RminusQ



Am I missing a key to the pretty colors? I need a key. Pretty colors. Plz?
 
2012-12-04 09:37:46 PM

Di Atribe: RminusQ: I mean, uh...
Irrational Productions presents...
The Great Tiebreaker Spreadsheet
with your host, RminusQ


Am I missing a key to the pretty colors? I need a key. Pretty colors. Plz?


img201.imageshack.us

/from last week's thread
 
2012-12-04 09:43:36 PM
KC is too damn high again.jpg

When you play a perfect game for your team (no turnovers, a single- intentional- penalty, and a career 53.3% QB hitting 14 straight completions at one point) and still have to sweat out the last drive at home to a 3-9 team... sorry, but the Jags are better.
 
2012-12-04 09:57:49 PM

neuroflare: /from last week's thread


Spank you very much, neuro!

Also, are you keeping all of the 2012 Jakes?
 
2012-12-04 10:27:53 PM

Di Atribe: neuroflare: /from last week's thread

Spank you very much, neuro!

Also, are you keeping all of the 2012 Jakes?


I missed week 12's, I'll have to go find it
 
2012-12-04 10:32:50 PM
Unfortunately I only copied the HTML, so some images are no longer hosted (especially important for the 2011 jakes)

I don't know if rob can fill in the gaps or not
 
2012-12-04 10:47:27 PM
I've got all the Jakes saved in Word. Which is especially sad considering I had to write this week's twice - I was almost done but I accidentally clicked the tab closed. I was really feeling it and so I was just writing and writing, neglecting to have a Word doc open to copy and paste after every paragraph like I usually do.
 
2012-12-04 10:50:46 PM
I had to say 50 hail Paytons to remove the black hand of BeezleGoodell from my soul.
 
2012-12-04 11:19:56 PM

neuroflare: Di Atribe: RminusQ: I mean, uh...
Irrational Productions presents...
The Great Tiebreaker Spreadsheet
with your host, RminusQ

Am I missing a key to the pretty colors? I need a key. Pretty colors. Plz?

[img201.imageshack.us image 161x489]

/from last week's thread


Thanks, dude. I realized after I posted that I hadn't included it.
Then I realized I didn't want to dig up the image.

Olympic Trolling Judge: I still can't get Carolina to show in the ESPN playoff machine even with those conditions. Oh well.

You need to fiddle with the SOV of Arizona and Carolina. This scenario shows the Panthers as the #6 seed.


Yeah, all those conditions create a three-way tie that goes to strength of victory, where Carolina is likely behind both Arizona AND Minnesota unless you rig some results. I included that the first time, but when Fark zapped my original post, I forgot it in the rewrite.
 
2012-12-04 11:35:40 PM

RminusQ: neuroflare: Di Atribe: RminusQ: I mean, uh...
Irrational Productions presents...
The Great Tiebreaker Spreadsheet
with your host, RminusQ

Am I missing a key to the pretty colors? I need a key. Pretty colors. Plz?

[img201.imageshack.us image 161x489]

/from last week's thread

Thanks, dude. I realized after I posted that I hadn't included it.
Then I realized I didn't want to dig up the image.

Olympic Trolling Judge: I still can't get Carolina to show in the ESPN playoff machine even with those conditions. Oh well.

You need to fiddle with the SOV of Arizona and Carolina. This scenario shows the Panthers as the #6 seed.

Yeah, all those conditions create a three-way tie that goes to strength of victory, where Carolina is likely behind both Arizona AND Minnesota unless you rig some results. I included that the first time, but when Fark zapped my original post, I forgot it in the rewrite.


I got it to work after I had more AFC West teams win and more AFC East teams lose. Took a few.
 
2012-12-04 11:36:50 PM

bionicjoe: The Pack is the most overrated team in the league right now.
And I like the Packers


I'm sorry, how the hell does that spot not belong to the Falcons?

robsul82: No, I can't exactly complain about Urlacher's injury.


You're welcome.
 
2012-12-05 12:02:49 AM

RminusQ: Thanks, dude. I realized after I posted that I hadn't included it.
Then I realized I didn't want to dig up the image.


I found out delving into the bowels of the sports archive last year that the power ranking threads aren't very hard to find and dig through when I went back and saved the previous Jakes. Someone quotes a weekly post and it lead right to what I needed.
 
2012-12-05 12:03:53 AM

neuroflare: I found out delving into the bowels of the sports archive last year that the power ranking threads aren't very hard to find and dig through when I went back and saved the previous Jakes. Someone quotes a weekly post and it lead right to what I needed.


There are some large grammatical problems in this statement.
 
2012-12-05 12:50:02 AM
"They can look better than you think or worse than you can imagine, often within the same game. The end result is that they're average."

I don't think truer words have ever been spoken concerning the Dallas Cowboys over the past ten years or so.
 
2012-12-05 09:07:13 AM

robsul82: I've got all the Jakes saved in Word. Which is especially sad considering I had to write this week's twice - I was almost done but I accidentally clicked the tab closed. I was really feeling it and so I was just writing and writing, neglecting to have a Word doc open to copy and paste after every paragraph like I usually do.


I know this might seem crazy, but you could probably type it in Word, then paste it in the comment box.

You might even consider using LOLWORDPAD
 
2012-12-05 09:07:38 AM

Harv72b: Wow...I think this is the first time Rob's gotten the Jake in here before I did my red & green thing.

Not much preamble this time. 10-6: it is what it is.


If you ever find yourself coming north on 83, let me know. I'll have a beer ready for you.
 
2012-12-05 10:34:12 AM

rickythepenguin: thecpt: ***snip***
i love how the NFL thread is all shtick now. everybody has a "thing" with it, i guess.


Sometimes we all just feel trapped in our roles.

//No one wants to see your thing, Brett.
 
2012-12-05 11:54:07 AM

robsul82: Thanks for the compliments, all...*tear* God knows it was tough. Theme music for this week's entry - "What Must Be Done" from the score of The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford


I've never heard that music before. I like it a lot. Thanks for that link, and for an awesome Jake speech.

thecpt: They still have briggs, tillman, peppers, that other corner who never gets credit, and Cutler isn't sucking. They lost one at home to the Troll hawks, but go on with the panicking Bears fans. Its entertaining.

/can't wait 2 weeks. Gonna be a good one on soldier field


Darn right it is. The second Bears/Packers game of the season is usually my favorite game of the year. When play-offs are on the line, half of Chicago is at risk of having a grabber. I know it's the same up north (I have lots of cousins and co-workers in or from WI).

roc6783: Ayup. I could totally see 11-5 record, win the division, and then get bounced at home in a completely flat game.


This would make me happy beyond belief, especially if it's by the Bears. I won't be at the game this time around, but I'd be at home doing my happy dance.

roc6783: Hopefully Matthews will be ready to go, then Cutler can resume receiving his weekly recommended allowance of turf.

//Not looking forward to it at all. Just keep it close so I don't have to see skrame do a happy dance. Haven't seen that much jiggle since the Jello incident in '04.


Haha. Look at that; both of us commenting about my happy dance. Don't worry about the jiggle; I've been losing weight! I'm down to 21 stone!

Calibrating happy dance:

img839.imageshack.us
 
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