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(ESPN)   In a nutshell: Every team in the league basically sucks to one extent or another, but the Jags now replace the Chiefs as the team that sucks the worst. It's your Week 14 NFL Power Rankings   (espn.go.com) divider line 326
    More: Strange, Tampa Bay Buccaneers, away games, Albert Haynesworth, rankings, Kevin Kolb, Jags, Mike Shanahan, Matt Hasselbeck  
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3436 clicks; posted to Sports » on 04 Dec 2012 at 1:30 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-04 12:09:04 PM  
I think a convincing argument could be made that, despite their slightly better record, right now the Raiders are the worst team in the NFL. In a matchup of the Raiders against either the Chiefs or the Jags, I'm not at all convinced that the Raiders should be favored to win.

And despite squeezing out a "victory," if you can call it that, against the hapless Cards last weekend, I'm not sure the Jets are any better than any of those teams right now.
 
2012-12-04 12:10:32 PM  
The Chiefs are the worst team in the league, and it's not close. After this shiatshow last weekend I would make the argument that they may very well be the worst franchise in sports.
 
2012-12-04 12:16:36 PM  
The Texans are still #1 (YAY!)

Broncos should be #4, not #5

Jets should've stayed where they were. They're the most dysfunctional team in the NFL right now.

I have no problem with the Chiefs moving above the Jags. The Chiefs won and the Jags lost. Was it motivated a little by the tragedy? Sure, but I see nothing wrong with bumping them from last.
 
2012-12-04 12:16:52 PM  

mitchcumstein1: The Chiefs are the worst team in the league, and it's not close. After this shiatshow last weekend I would make the argument that they may very well be the worst franchise in sports.


No doubt it's a franchise in peril. But it should be pointed out that there's a difference between "worst team" and "worst franchise." Often there is some overlap between the two (including in this case), but not always.
 
2012-12-04 12:17:47 PM  

Cyberluddite: mitchcumstein1: The Chiefs are the worst team in the league, and it's not close. After this shiatshow last weekend I would make the argument that they may very well be the worst franchise in sports.

No doubt it's a franchise in peril. But it should be pointed out that there's a difference between "worst team" and "worst franchise." Often there is some overlap between the two (including in this case), but not always.


No, no, they're both right now. They're bad, and they're badly run.
 
2012-12-04 12:22:54 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Broncos should be #4, not #5


As a 49ers fan, I can't really argue with you there. The Broncos have only lost to the top 3 teams in the rankings (by a combined 22 points). The Niners have lost to the Vikings, the Giants, and the Lambs, along with the tie debacle. If they played head-to-head, with both teams playing their best games, I would probably expect the Niners to win that game, but the 49ers haven't been consistent enough to be ranked ahead of the Broncos right now.
 
2012-12-04 12:44:43 PM  
the Jags now replace the Chiefs as the team that sucks the worst

And we lost to them. Woo!
 
2012-12-04 12:52:13 PM  
Packers behind the Ravens? I don't think so: everyone seems to forget they had one stolen by the scab refs...
 
2012-12-04 01:02:23 PM  

Nofun: Packers behind the Ravens? I don't think so: everyone seems to forget they had one stolen by the scab refs...


That's ridiculous. Everyone knows they're called potato refs. Get a brain moran.
 
2012-12-04 01:10:51 PM  
I would now like to unveil the project I've been wasting my free time on for the past week: the Faultlessly Accurate RanKing system, or, for the haters, the Faulty And Inaccurate Listing system. The FARK/FAIL system V0.9.0 is a power ranking system that takes into account the SOV of each team's opponents in the week that they played each other, and the margin of victory of the game. So beating the 4-0 Cardinals is better for your rank than beating the 4-8 Cardinals, and beating the Patriots by two possessions is better than beating them by a field goal.

(2) 1 Atlanta
(1) 2 Houston
(3) 3 New England
(4) 4 San Francisco*
(5) 5 Denver
(7) 6 Green Bay
(6) 7 Baltimore
(8) 8 Chicago
(10) 9 New York (Giants)
(12) 10 Seattle
(9) 11 Indianapolis
(13) 12 Pittsburgh
(11) 13 Cincinnati
(19) 14 St. Louis*
(14) 15 Washington
(15) 16 Tampa Bay
(17) 17 Minnesota
(16) 18 Dallas
(20) 19 Miami
(18) 20 New Orleans
(26) 21 Tennessee
(23) 22 Buffalo
(22) 23 New York (Jets)
(27) 24 Arizona
(21) 25 Detroit
(25) 26 San Diego
(24) 27 Cleveland
(28) 28 Carolina
(30) 29 Philadelphia
(32) 30 Jacksonville
(29) 31 Oakland
(31) 32 Kansas City

*Farking ties
Parentheses are ESPN's ranks.

The Lions are too damn high: +4
The Rams and Titans are too damn low: -5

I wasn to say thanks to Di Atribe and RminusQ for helping me with this. Any credit goes their way, all critism belongs with me.
 
2012-12-04 01:10:56 PM  
Subby's headline sucks.

It should be sucks the most. Sucks the worst is like being the worst at sucking so that would be the Texans or the Falcons. 

/goes back to hide in Geek thread
 
2012-12-04 01:15:38 PM  
From the redlit thread (with slight edits):

<asshole mode>anyone else find it fishy that KC jumped a spot this week?</asshole mode> Surely, any emotional boost is a good one, but are they really a better team, relative to the rest of the league, than they were last week?

// because Power Rankings are srs bznss, and the Dow Jones will be overvaluing the Chiefs now
// OMG FOOTBALL BUBBLE
// I'm moving all my money to hockey futures
 
2012-12-04 01:29:26 PM  
I kinda agree with Sando's rankings, which actually seem to be based on current trends rather than simply "look at that record!"

Cardinals and Eagles haven't won in the past eight weeks - they can currently be the worst teams in football.

The Cardinals just lost to the Jets, FFS.
 
2012-12-04 01:32:57 PM  
From another Sando article:

"The Seahawks' opponents have made all 18 field-goal tries, making Seattle the only team in the NFL yet to benefit from an opponent's miss through Week 13."

No wonder it feels like we never catch a f*cking break on those.
 
2012-12-04 01:33:13 PM  
I'm just gonna put this right here...

thebiglead.fantasysportsven.netdna-cdn.com



Was at the game last night - one of the better games I've been to in a long, long while. Pissed they rank us in the middle of the league, but a win on Sunday will fix alll that :)
 
2012-12-04 01:33:37 PM  

IAmRight: I kinda agree with Sando's rankings, which actually seem to be based on current trends rather than simply "look at that record!"

Cardinals and Eagles haven't won in the past eight weeks - they can currently be the worst teams in football.

The Cardinals just lost to the Jets, FFS.


Agreed. The Eagles should be somewhere about 40th right now.
 
2012-12-04 01:35:43 PM  
And without further ado, thecpt and Bunny Deville present to you This Week's version of The FAIL

For those who missed it last night, here is the inaugural fail
 
2012-12-04 01:35:50 PM  
The third-string of the Steelers beat the Ravens, proving that even the Steelers' third string is for real, and they only go up one point?

Think about this. Batch just proved that he can still do it, that last week was just shaking off rust. That gives the Steelers a lot less pressure to get Ben back on the field and lets him rest another game or two.

By the playoffs, the Steelers are in on a wild card and the Quarterback (and other key players) are healthy and rested. Nice place to be.
 
2012-12-04 01:36:39 PM  
I know it's not possible, but still. The Jaguars are too damn high.
 
2012-12-04 01:39:14 PM  

nmrsnr:
The Rams and Titans are too damn low: -5
.


Well it is common trend to think of the Rams as always a below-average team, even though there are actual signs of improvement over this past year (minus the Jets fail). Also I blame East Coast Bias.
 
2012-12-04 01:39:36 PM  
The Giants at #10?

[imokaywiththis.jpg]

Don't even feel bad about the loss; the Redskins are always a PITA.

Then again, they'll be putting "paid" to the Saints very faint playoff hopes this Sunday.
 
2012-12-04 01:40:06 PM  

IAmRight: The Cardinals just lost to the Jets, FFS.


Whiz' seat gets hotter every day. He's due something like $5.5 next year which is why some say he's bulletproof, but.....the local scribes are starting the write the stuff i've been saying for years here: "whiz and graves have continuously failed at the QB position, and all indications are that we are once again looking to draft a QB or pursue free agency."

the FA crop (outside of Flacco, who aint' going anywhere) is garbage. it's like, Leinart, Tarvaris Jackson, Quinn (I think)....basically a bunch of 5-6 year veterans who haven't done dick in the NFL and whose contracts are up this year.

/and think how different that jets game is if dude doesn't DOINK two balls of the woodwork.
 
2012-12-04 01:41:37 PM  
The Bengals can take solace in the fact that they are ranked higher than the Steelers while contemplating how it is that they're going to miss the playoffs at the hands of the aforementioned Steelers.
 
2012-12-04 01:42:32 PM  
Warms my heart to see the Chargers have lost 7 of 8. Keep up the good work
 
2012-12-04 01:42:38 PM  
WHAR GRAF
 
2012-12-04 01:44:29 PM  
The team I can't figure out is the Rams. They have beaten some decent to good teams (the Redskins, Seahawks, and 49ers, plus a tie with the Niners), and yet have lost to teams like the Dolphins and Lions and gotten their asses handed to them by the farking Jets, of all teams. It seems like they are a team who could beat or lose to any given team. I'm sure glad I haven't been betting on their games.
 
2012-12-04 01:45:52 PM  

Cyberluddite: It seems like they are a team who could beat or lose to any given team.


Same with the Cowboys.
 
2012-12-04 01:46:09 PM  
And for simplicity's sake:
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com


And this week's edition
i.imgur.com
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-04 01:47:43 PM  
Anyone else think Breesus for The Jake? I think it'll be Breesus for The Jake.

/Has Breesus ever recieved The Jake before?
 
2012-12-04 01:47:59 PM  

mootmah: WHAR GRAF


I know I did this last week (maybe I'll add it to the list of Things That Must Appear in an NFL Power Rankings Thread), but:
72unforcederrorswp.files.wordpress.com

I'M RIGHT FARKING HERE!
 
2012-12-04 01:48:49 PM  

GAT_00: the Jags now replace the Chiefs as the team that sucks the worst

And we lost to them. Woo!


Dude, the Titans lost to the Colts last season, when they had Dan "0-16" Orlavsky playing QB. Let's face reality- the team we support is not very good.
 
2012-12-04 01:50:30 PM  
So, is this gonna be the picks thread for the week now, or is there another one scheduled? I've got mine mostly done and ready to go...
 
2012-12-04 01:51:43 PM  

Cyberluddite: The team I can't figure out is the Rams. They have beaten some decent to good teams (the Redskins, Seahawks, and 49ers, plus a tie with the Niners), and yet have lost to teams like the Dolphins and Lions and gotten their asses handed to them by the farking Jets, of all teams. It seems like they are a team who could beat or lose to any given team. I'm sure glad I haven't been betting on their games.


Clearly Fisher was very set on being great within the division - that's where all but one of their victories has come. And that one was a win against the Redskins sans Garcon, which are not a good team (5-1 with Garcon; 1-5 without).
 
2012-12-04 01:52:18 PM  
i291.photobucket.com


Welcome back to the trivia game where the host is all hopped up on goofballs, the players are secretly masturbating to a photo of Robert Griffin III, and the questions are (mostly) unknowable! Hands off snakey for now, though, at least until round 3. We've got questions on QBs, Defenses, and WAGs. What are WAGs? Wives and Girlfriends of NFL players. Yep, this week is extra sexy. Not as sexy as the NFL Referee hand-signals but pretty close. Let's get started.

Three categories, 3 questions each. Feel free to answer in the thread. Answers will go up at 1:30 PM CST.

Name that QB:

1. The NFL average for completion percentage is 61.4%. Which NFL QB is the closest to the NFL average when it comes to completion percentage?
2. After a rough week, Drew Brees took the NFL lead in Interceptions. Wait, scratch that. Drew Brees is actually tied with someone at the top with 16 INTs. But who?
3. Nothing illustrates the bizarre Week 13 for QBs more than this player leading the week in completions.

Name that Defense:

1. This man stands over the body of the QB. He stands as the yang to offense's yin. He leads the NFL in sacks.
2. Stout defense should get the other team off the field on 3rd down. But what about 4th down? This team has only allowed 1 4th down conversion and allows the lowest percentage of 4th down conversions.
3. Interceptions are exciting. Pick sixes are even more exciting. 99 yard pick sixes are probably the most exciting defensive play to witness. This team has a 99 yard pick six this season.

Name that Hottie WAG

www.athleteswives.com
1. Which NFL player is this Wife and/or Girlfriend NFL married to?

styleboston.tv
2. Which NFL Head Coach is dating this WAG?

www.playerwives.com
3. This leggy WAG is married to which RB?


Alright! Pencils down, pants up. Answers go up in a half-hour or so.
 
2012-12-04 01:54:47 PM  

rickythepenguin: the FA crop (outside of Flacco, who aint' going anywhere) is garbage. it's like, Leinart, Tarvaris Jackson, Quinn (I think)....basically a bunch of 5-6 year veterans who haven't done dick in the NFL and whose contracts are up this year.


Up here in NorCal some pundits seem to be wringing their hands about their pet theory that the 49ers will not pick up the option they hold for 2013 on Alex Smith's contract (they can pay him $1M in April and make him a free agent, or they can pay him $9M or some such amount to play for them in 2013), or that he'll somehow convince them to make him a free agent, and that he'll wind up with the Cards and make it his life's mission to exact renvenge on a division rival for dissing him over the course of his career.

I don't personally buy any of it. I expect both Smith and Kaep to be on the 49ers roster next year, regardless of who starts.
 
2012-12-04 01:55:02 PM  

Treygreen13: 1. This man stands over the body of the QB. He stands as the yang to offense's yin. He leads the NFL in sacks.


J.J. WATT (just happened!)
 
2012-12-04 01:55:49 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Treygreen13: 1. This man stands over the body of the QB. He stands as the yang to offense's yin. He leads the NFL in sacks.

J.J. WATT (just happened!)


Wait, dammit I'm wrong (where the hell did Aldon Smith come from?!)
 
2012-12-04 01:56:21 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Treygreen13: 1. This man stands over the body of the QB. He stands as the yang to offense's yin. He leads the NFL in sacks.

J.J. WATT (just happened!)


Actually, no.
 
2012-12-04 01:56:29 PM  
@ MDW -3 SEA 37.5
SEA cover


1-0, SEA by 6.


@ GRB -8 MSP 45.5
MSP cover

1-1. Pack by 9


SFO -7.5 @ STL 41
STL cover (yes, i know i'm picking dogs which is the loser's folly, but....those lines are all too high).

2-1. Rams by 3


@ LGA -6 PHX 36
once again, dog to cover

3-1.


CAR -3 @ MCI 40.5
I'm not picking MCI for the cheesy, melodramatic "let's win it for Johnny!" angle, but because I think MCI is due and CARO, not all that great. Cover here. Also, I pointed out last week Brady Quinn hasn't won game sine like, 12/16/09; as of last week it was something like 1,097 days. Wonder if that ends today.


4-1


@ DET -6 IND 51
Hmmm.......Hmmmm.............Jeez this would be what, 6 in a rw dogs to cover? Gonna pick IND to do so.

5-1, Colts by 2.


AT BUF -6 JAX 43.5
I'm surprised Rough Buff is getting six. I know JAX is nothing to be feared, but six? Hate to say it but picking cover.

gaaaaah. Rough Buff farked me, won by 16. 5-2.


BOS -7.5 @ MIA 51
This is easy. BOS loves to dryfark divisional opponents. BOS outright and the over.

Drat. 5-3, Pats by 7.


HOU -6.5 @ BNA 47
HOU outright.


6-3, Texans by 14 or some shiat.

@ DEN -7.5 TPA 50.5
very odd line. Not saying TPA is all that great (last week's win over NO likely sealed the South for ATL) and I don't know if they have the juice for a wild car run but....7.5 seems high. TPA cover
.

dammit. Donks by 8. 6-4.

@ BWI -7.5 PIT 35.5
No Ben, gotta say BWI outright. That said, the line is high (spesh for a 35.5 o/u).....I think this is within 10 points....jeez....talking myself into picking a PIT cover....but I'm not. I think BWI wins but not by more than 10. But I will say this is the one game (so far) that has me already thinking about maybe being wrong off the jump.

wow. 6-5. I like how i hedged though. did not see that coming.


CLE -2.5 @ OAK 38
CLE is quietly a better football team than tey appear. Postseason is likely done for them but they'll win handily todya.


well, 3 isn't "handily" but it counts. 7-5

CVG -1 @ San Dog 46
I'll say CVG outright. why not.


8-5, Bengs by 7


@ DFW -10.5 PHL 43
Huh? 10.5. 10.5 is waaaaaaaaaaaaay too high (The Star On the Helmet is good for 1.5 at least), thi line should be like, 10.5 is stupid high. PHI to cover.

9-5, Boys by 5

didn't pick last night and it's easy to MMQB this but I would have taken Wash on a cover.....not sure what the line was but I bet it was NYG by like, 4. Not claiming it but I would have taken them at home.
 
2012-12-04 01:57:08 PM  
where jake whe
 
2012-12-04 01:57:15 PM  
The Eagles are too damn high!
 
2012-12-04 02:00:15 PM  
How the fark did THAT coach pull THAT caliber of tail?

/won't give away the answer just confused
 
2012-12-04 02:00:34 PM  

near_starlet: I'm just gonna put this right here...

[thebiglead.fantasysportsven.netdna-cdn.com image 594x395]



Was at the game last night - one of the better games I've been to in a long, long while. Pissed they rank us in the middle of the league, but a win on Sunday will fix alll that :)


I'm a Redskins fan,and they should be ranked about middle of the league. Sure RG3 is amazing and teh offense looks good, but the defense, especially the utterly non-existent secondary is downright putrid. As to special teams, I'd say middling, though if the Redskins had started the season with Cobra Kai at kicker they'd have 1 more win at least, and might be edging into the top 10 power rankings.
 
2012-12-04 02:01:00 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Anyone else think Breesus for The Jake? I think it'll be Breesus for The Jake.


It's a close one, but Brees still threw for 341 yards. It may finally be Ponder's long over due chance to win the Jake. He looked like a franchise QB when he took apart the 49ers, but he's been dreadful since then. Sure, he's got no recievers to throw to, but even at that, it's been exceptionally bad.
 
2012-12-04 02:02:44 PM  

Cyberluddite: Up here in NorCal some pundits seem to be wringing their hands about their pet theory that the 49ers will not pick up the option they hold for 2013 on Alex Smith's contract (they can pay him $1M in April and make him a free agent, or they can pay him $9M or some such amount to play for them in 2013), or that he'll somehow convince them to make him a free agent, and that he'll wind up with the Cards and make it his life's mission to exact renvenge on a division rival for dissing him over the course of his career.



yeah, that's getting a fair amount of discussion in phoenix.....i don't know Smith's sitch well enough to know but Harbaugh isn't dumb enough to put all of his eggs in one basket, is he? The best headache to have in the NFL is two competent QBs (and of all NFL cities, SAN FREAKING FRANCISCO SHOULD KNOW THAT) as they were the Team of the 90s largely due to having a two-headed QB sitch.

some discussion of wehther we make a run at Vick. Hell no. cap hit alone.

i mean, back to Whiz, there's no guarantee Kolb is on the roster next year unless he redoes his deal. He;s due 9M base and has something like a 2 or 3M roster bonus.

i just get so godamned angry about how ineptly Whiz and Graves have drafted/FA'd at QB. WHEN THAT'S WHY WHIZ WAS HIRED. it is astounding.

and, there's a report that the defense (Nine Oh and Rhodes) got into a fight postgame. You'd think the defense was fighting the offense, but apparently, the defense got into it. bad times.
 
2012-12-04 02:03:23 PM  

Treygreen13: 99 yard pick sixes are probably the most exciting defensive play to witness. This team has a 99 yard pick six this season.


Huh. And with that defense, too.
 
2012-12-04 02:05:01 PM  

mootmah: WHAR GRAF


She's too busy chiding me for being non-cheery on FB at the moment. Heh.
 
2012-12-04 02:05:53 PM  

Treygreen13: 1. Which NFL player is this Wife and/or Girlfriend NFL married to?


Probably shouldn't call the image "Alex-Smith-wife" if you want it to be tough to guess.

scottydoesntknow: Wait, dammit I'm wrong (where the hell did Aldon Smith come from?!)


Smith recorded 5.5 sacks when the 49ers played the Bears and that vaulted him into the lead.
 
2012-12-04 02:07:01 PM  

neuroflare: How the fark did THAT coach pull THAT caliber of tail?

/won't give away the answer just confused


Money.


Also, it's easy to name the wives when the photo url includes either their names, or in the case of the first one, the player's name.
 
2012-12-04 02:07:07 PM  

thecpt: And for simplicity's sake:
[i.imgur.com image 800x749]
[i.imgur.com image 789x1269]
[i.imgur.com image 779x1303]
[i.imgur.com image 800x1032]


And this week's edition
[i.imgur.com image 850x1242]
[i.imgur.com image 776x1500]


Excellent Work
 
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