If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Courthouse News Service)   Court rules that Continental Airlines is nor responsible for employees taking a dildo from luggage, greasing it up, and taping it to the outside of the luggage   (courthousenews.com) divider line 99
    More: Followup, Continental Airlines, United Continental Holdings, duffel bags, Christopher Bridgeman  
•       •       •

9949 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 10:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



99 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-04 09:08:05 AM
Nor the now.
 
2012-12-04 09:09:48 AM
Looks like yet again the airlines have been effing with luggage.

// never check bags, they changed the rules a while back. you basically have no rights now.
 
2012-12-04 09:37:17 AM
Well, as long as it was only a dildo.
 
2012-12-04 10:00:05 AM
I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.
 
2012-12-04 10:10:30 AM

gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.



Or you could always rent one at your destination.
 
2012-12-04 10:55:43 AM
Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?
 
2012-12-04 10:55:54 AM
why do 2 dudes need a dildo? they already have the equipment.

unless it's not working, i guess?
 
2012-12-04 10:56:28 AM
FTFA: Borger and Bridgeman were unable to circumvent the treaty to find relief, according to the four-page order.

I'm sure they will be able to find relief in some other way.
 
2012-12-04 10:56:56 AM
t2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-04 10:56:56 AM
www.cajunsupermarket.com
 
2012-12-04 10:57:10 AM

UberDave: gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Or you could always rent one at your destination.


Or wear it while traveling.
 
2012-12-04 10:57:14 AM
Nice simulpenis.
 
2012-12-04 10:57:42 AM
"They taped a dildo to my luggage!" is the proper thing to say. Never say "They took out my dildo, greased it up and taped it to my luggage."
 
2012-12-04 10:57:58 AM

Radak: Well, as long as it was only a dildo.


Just remember it's "a" dildo, never "your" dildo.
 
2012-12-04 10:58:29 AM
" REMEMBER:
It is AN Dildo...not Her, His, It's, Their or Our Dildo. "
 
2012-12-04 10:58:29 AM

abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?


Lemmy Kilmister: why do 2 dudes need a dildo? they already have the equipment.

unless it's not working, i guess?



You guys aren't into DP, I guess.
 
2012-12-04 10:59:08 AM

abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?


I'm guessing so that the bottom could simultaneously top by proxy?
 
2012-12-04 11:00:06 AM
Subby got away with it.
 
2012-12-04 11:00:50 AM

UberDave: gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Or you could always rent one at your destination.


Or just use the remote in the hotel room like everyone else.
 
2012-12-04 11:01:53 AM

gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Those get searched too.

Just ship it to the hotel ahead of time.
 
2012-12-04 11:01:57 AM

Generation_D: Looks like yet again the airlines have been effing with luggage.

// never check bags, they changed the rules a while back. you basically have no rights now.


Again? They never stopped the first time.
 
2012-12-04 11:02:00 AM
You might as well ask why anyone needs a dildo when they have their own hands.
 
2012-12-04 11:02:34 AM

ChipNASA: " REMEMBER:
It is AN Dildo...not Her, His, It's, Their or Our Dildo. "


Yeah, it kinda went without saying.

The joke has been made 5,592,871 times now.
 
2012-12-04 11:02:36 AM
This is incredibly disturbing ruling by the court, we expect the treaty mentioned to limit the liabilities of the airline carrier if they act in good faith. You are taking a 25~75lb package and moving it a couple of hundred/thousand miles, things will go wrong.

But if the allegations were true, a product of actual intentional vandalism. Would the airline be responsible if the employees planted drugs in the luggage?
 
2012-12-04 11:02:48 AM
Dildo - maybe they were heading there

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2012-12-04 11:03:16 AM
Dildo Dildo A roooney Roo!
 
2012-12-04 11:03:29 AM

BarkingUnicorn: UberDave: gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Or you could always rent one at your destination.

Or wear it while traveling.


Like on a World War 1 German helmet instead of a spike.
And you could run at people like a battering ram..
 
2012-12-04 11:04:05 AM
It's more disturbing to me that Continental is using minors to handle luggage. Only a 12 year old would do something this stupid.
 
2012-12-04 11:04:35 AM

Shadow Blasko: ChipNASA: " REMEMBER:
It is AN Dildo...not Her, His, It's, Their or Our Dildo. "

Yeah, it kinda went without saying.

The joke has been made 5,592,871 times now.


And yet it finds a way to be slightly funny.
 
2012-12-04 11:04:49 AM

gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-in.




Fixed that for you
 
2012-12-04 11:05:38 AM
These people seem to have too much free time.
 
2012-12-04 11:06:20 AM

JohnCarter: Dildo - maybe they were heading there

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 259x195]


I dunno...I'll take a Gander...
 
2012-12-04 11:06:32 AM
I always love links from this site, because their favicon looks like the old icon I used for the first Windows 95 database program I developed.
 
2012-12-04 11:08:44 AM
An attorney once explained to me that airlines Incorporate each aircraft as a corporate entity separate from the airline operating company; the parent focuses on Brand, Marketing, Customer Service, Ticketing etc. Operation of the physical airframe is a "leased-to" arrangement with the brand name. This limits the liability in case of an incident to the worth of the corporation's sole asset ... the airframe.

Crews are leased, as well as all "services" such as baggage handling, operating under a trade name agreement.

Continental wouldn't be liable. The baggage service leased rights to the brand name under a service agreement would be liable.

So, once again, Congress has made EVERYTHING a complete hash by structuring taxation and employing human beings the two greatest threats a business faces. Businesses keep finding ways to dodge the bullets Congress aims at their hearts. But in refusing to be made the bad guys so Congress has cover, American enterprises have taken radical and radically crazy steps to defend themselves against Congress.

Wanna be pissed?

Call up the 535 criminal morons who have clawed their way into the seats in Congress.
 
2012-12-04 11:09:26 AM
I'm so glad these two were able to waste so much time and money embarrasing themselves over a dildo.
 
2012-12-04 11:09:34 AM
Good call by the court. The linked photo clearly shows that the duffle's zipper was busted and that someone had tried to temporarily close it with tape. It was not their fault that the dildo was sitting on top and probably reeking of ass and anal lube. I wouldn't touch it either.
 
2012-12-04 11:10:27 AM
The Moving Phallus flies; and, having flit,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back from Continental Airlines,
Nor all thy Tears wash out the Lubricant.
.
 
2012-12-04 11:12:53 AM
Not really sure how useful a dildo is to two gay men, but I imagine it can stand-in for a third penis.

Now my wife and I have never traveled with our (yes, OUR) Hitachi, but I can imagine that I would be pretty pissed off if my Pinch Hitter (that's what I call it) was defiled in such a way.

Or this could just be one of those fake mouse in a beer bottle scams
 
2012-12-04 11:14:15 AM
I hate it when my greasy dildo slips out. At least they were nice enough to tape it back on.

/detachable penis?
 
2012-12-04 11:14:47 AM
How useful is a dildo to a hetero couple? Use your imagination people, damn.
 
2012-12-04 11:15:28 AM

abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?


yeah, but one of the guys is super tiny. nobody wants to f*ck with a super tiny dick.
 
2012-12-04 11:19:46 AM
When dildoes are outlawed, only criminals will have dildoes.
 
2012-12-04 11:20:00 AM

ChipNASA: " REMEMBER:
It is AN Dildo...not Her, His, It's, Their or Our Dildo. "


better, Why did the luggage handler tape his own dildo to my luggage
 
2012-12-04 11:20:58 AM
I thought they couldnt imply ownership of a dildo?
 
2012-12-04 11:22:03 AM

Clemkadidlefark:

So, once again, Congress has made EVERYTHING a complete hash by structuring taxation and employing human beings the two greatest threats a business faces. Businesses keep finding ways to dodge the bullets Congress aims at their hearts. But in refusing to be made the bad guys so Congress has cover, American enterprises have taken radical and radically crazy steps to defend themselves against Congress.

Wanna be pissed?

Call up the 535 criminal morons who have clawed their way into the seats in Congress.



Corporate America is so weak, they couldn't prevent even one of those 535 radical anti-business activists from getting elected?
Yeah, that seems legit.

Boy am I glad I'm an organic-citizen and not a corporate-citizen.
 
2012-12-04 11:23:52 AM
"This thread is worthless without....

cache.gizmodo.com
1.bp.blogspot.com


/Take THAT TSA!!
 
2012-12-04 11:24:50 AM
So now instead of the 20 or so people milling around the baggage carousel, now millions know that you take a gigantic purple dildo with you on vacation.
 
2012-12-04 11:25:11 AM
See, here's the deal....

Flying used to be a luxury thing. The cost wasn't dirt cheap but you got amenities. You didn't grab a cheap flight, it was something that cost more than what you would pony up for a weekend whim. You paid a premium and you got the premium service.

Then there was the collective decision that you wanted to get there as cheap as possible, and it became a race to the bottom. Less funds mean less or no amenities, less pay for the staff and eventually dildos taped to the outside of your luggage.

So, you did it to yourselves people. You collectively said you NEEDED to be all over the world at a moments notice and it was unreasonable to pay what it would take to get there comfortably and reasonably.

So, go pick up your dildo bag and come talk to me when you're willing to pay up.
 
2012-12-04 11:26:17 AM
What pisses me off is the fact that they went into someones luggage. What do the handlers do, pick out a random suitcase and check it out for shait? Never pack anything you aren't willing to lose. Hey the TSA made it easy for them by not allowing you to lock you suitcase.
 
2012-12-04 11:26:46 AM

Snarfangel: The Moving Phallus flies; and, having flit,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back from Continental Airlines,
Nor all thy Tears wash out the Lubricant.
.


What a NSFW flying fake fallus might look like.
 
2012-12-04 11:27:52 AM
Yes, bring as a carry-on.

Or a carry-in, if so inclined.
 
2012-12-04 11:30:20 AM
Honestly, look at the picture. It looks as if the bag burst open, the dildo was exposed and someone tried to tape the entire bag shut. You can clearly see that the zipper on the bag is broke.

WTF. Two clowns trying to get money over their own shoddy luggage.
 
2012-12-04 11:31:39 AM

Skarekrough:

So, go pick up your dildo bag and come talk to me when you're willing to pay up.


so because people wanted cheaper flights its okay for immature assholes to be dicks to people?

I don't agree.
 
2012-12-04 11:31:57 AM

gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


blogs.ajc.com

Agrees
 
2012-12-04 11:33:02 AM
I can understand. They probably saw an outline of a giant cock on the x-ray and thought a coworker was trapped inside.
 
2012-12-04 11:35:49 AM
What a greased Bilbo may look like:

i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-04 11:36:10 AM

Komplex: This is incredibly disturbing ruling by the court, we expect the treaty mentioned to limit the liabilities of the airline carrier if they act in good faith. You are taking a 25~75lb package and moving it a couple of hundred/thousand miles, things will go wrong.

But if the allegations were true, a product of actual intentional vandalism. Would the airline be responsible if the employees planted drugs in the luggage?


The article links to the ruling itself, which explains the whole problem pretty quickly: The dick owners' lawyer (I doubt they came up with this themselves) tried to get around the treaty, saying it didn't apply and they did so in a way that just isn't believable.

So apparently they didn't like whatever the Treaty would let them have, and wanted what domestic liability law would give them.
 
2012-12-04 11:36:26 AM

Skarekrough:
So, go pick up your dildo bag and come talk to me when you're willing to pay up.


How much do you charge?
 
2012-12-04 11:36:45 AM
I don't own a dild....
cdn.chud.com
 
2012-12-04 11:37:35 AM
I think the plaintiffs got shafted
 
2012-12-04 11:38:23 AM

gregory311: Honestly, look at the picture. It looks as if the bag burst open, the dildo was exposed and someone tried to tape the entire bag shut. You can clearly see that the zipper on the bag is broke.

WTF. Two clowns trying to get money over their own shoddy luggage.


Hey now, this is Fark. Don't go using your "facts". It is ALWAYS the evil corporation's fault.
 
2012-12-04 11:39:02 AM

cig-mkr: What pisses me off is the fact that they went into someones luggage. What do the handlers do, pick out a random suitcase and check it out for shait? Never pack anything you aren't willing to lose. Hey the TSA made it easy for them by not allowing you to lock you suitcase.


From the pic, it appears the bag broke and was repaired ad hoc.
 
2012-12-04 11:39:21 AM

Komplex: This is incredibly disturbing ruling by the court, we expect the treaty mentioned to limit the liabilities of the airline carrier if they act in good faith. You are taking a 25~75lb package and moving it a couple of hundred/thousand miles, things will go wrong.

But if the allegations were true, a product of actual intentional vandalism. Would the airline be responsible if the employees planted drugs in the luggage?


Yeah, it's bad, but there are quite a few rulings out there that add up to "if anything bad happens to you on a plane, ever, you're kind of farked, because Montreal Convention."
 
2012-12-04 11:40:26 AM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Komplex: This is incredibly disturbing ruling by the court, we expect the treaty mentioned to limit the liabilities of the airline carrier if they act in good faith. You are taking a 25~75lb package and moving it a couple of hundred/thousand miles, things will go wrong.

But if the allegations were true, a product of actual intentional vandalism. Would the airline be responsible if the employees planted drugs in the luggage?

The article links to the ruling itself, which explains the whole problem pretty quickly: The dick owners' lawyer (I doubt they came up with this themselves) tried to get around the treaty, saying it didn't apply and they did so in a way that just isn't believable.

So apparently they didn't like whatever the Treaty would let them have, and wanted what domestic liability law would give them.


This. The decision had nothing at all to do with blame or responsibility and everything to do with the fact that the complainant tried to fight in the wrong arena.
 
2012-12-04 11:42:52 AM
Which plural is better: dildos or dildoes?
 
2012-12-04 11:42:55 AM
I remember when I was about 13 (before the internet) I was visiting family and I came across a collection of playboy magazines. I stole a couple of them and put them in my luggage. At the airport for my trip back I had to put my bag on the xray conveyor belt and I was scared shiatless they could see into the bag and tell I had playboys and i was too young to have them. I put the bag in the machine so that the playboy was straight up and down because i thought the rays went from top to bottom and if the magazines were oriented that way, they couldnt see the pictures. My bag went through the machine and the operator said " wait, we need to run this bag again.". Holy shiat! I thought they were going to open the bag. They ran the bag through again and let me go on my way. Nobody said anything but my heart was racing.

The playboy was from the early 1990s that had what I think was the Swedish bikini team on a yellow cover...

/csb
 
2012-12-04 11:45:14 AM

busy chillin': Skarekrough:

So, go pick up your dildo bag and come talk to me when you're willing to pay up.

so because people wanted cheaper flights its okay for immature assholes to be dicks to people?

I don't agree.


Is it okay? No. Never.

But it's what happens when you're paying rock-bottom salaries.

Someone making a good wage with a mortgage, car payment and retirement at stake is going to be way less likely to do something like that versus the guy whose job offers competed with manning the overnight shift at 7-11.
 
2012-12-04 11:45:42 AM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Snarfangel: The Moving Phallus flies; and, having flit,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back from Continental Airlines,
Nor all thy Tears wash out the Lubricant.
.

What a NSFW flying fake fallus might look like.


I thought this was what a NSFW flying fake phallus looked like.
 
2012-12-04 11:47:02 AM

nytmare: Which plural is better: dildos or dildoes?


2.bp.blogspot.com

Ask the dildo.
 
2012-12-04 11:49:20 AM
I thought it was policy never to imply ownership of a dildo, that they must use the term "a dildo," not "your dildo."
 
2012-12-04 11:54:59 AM
Man, somebody really knows how to throw a dildo.
 
2012-12-04 11:55:44 AM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: Snarfangel: The Moving Phallus flies; and, having flit,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back from Continental Airlines,
Nor all thy Tears wash out the Lubricant.
.

What a NSFW flying fake fallus might look like.


This one's much better...DONGCOPTER!
 
2012-12-04 11:56:30 AM

Electromax: Skarekrough:
So, go pick up your dildo bag and come talk to me when you're willing to pay up.

How much do you charge?


...depends on the size of the dildo.
 
2012-12-04 11:59:16 AM

BarkingUnicorn: UberDave: gilgigamesh: I guess the lesson here is bring your dildo as a carry-on.


Or you could always rent one at your destination.

Or wear it while traveling.


Are you trying to start a new hip hop trend?
 
2012-12-04 12:13:08 PM
i1197.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-04 12:14:02 PM
www.imcdb.org
 
2012-12-04 12:14:17 PM
nytmare


2012-12-04 11:42:52 AM


Which plural is better: dildos or dildoes?


dildii?
 
2012-12-04 12:14:20 PM

Nurglitch: You might as well ask why anyone needs a dildo when they have their own hands.


So a woman goes in to a sex shop, and asks the clerk where the vibrators are.

The clerk crooks his fingers at her and says "come this way".

The woman says, "if I could come that way I wouldn't need a vibrator."
 
2012-12-04 12:15:40 PM
I used to handle luggage (among many other jobs) for a large commuter airline.
Back before TSA, if the bag was suspicious we would get a witness and open the bag, or get
the passenger to open the bag.
We had to to this especially if something in the bag was vibrating.
And yes we had it happen once or more a month. Saw many a red face woman.
 
2012-12-04 12:18:30 PM

LesterB: I thought this was what a NSFW flying fake phallus looked like.


Day_Old_Dutchie: This one's much better...DONGCOPTER!


It's...
i1049.photobucket.com
Beautiful!


How have I not seen this?
 
2012-12-04 12:52:08 PM
"WE'RE THE TSA AND WE CAN WHATEVER THE FARK WE WANT!"

aftermathnews.files.wordpress.com 

bendingborders.org
 
2012-12-04 12:53:54 PM

abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?


Peni- more than one penis

*goes back and sits in corner*
 
2012-12-04 12:54:38 PM
This is a dildon't
 
2012-12-04 01:09:00 PM

nytmare: Which plural is better: dildos or dildoes?

rubber nubbers

 
2012-12-04 01:20:36 PM

darth_badger: "They taped a dildo to my luggage!" is the proper thing to say. Never say "They took out my dildo, greased it up cleaned it up a bit and taped it to my luggage."

 
2012-12-04 01:28:08 PM

Fark Rye For Many Whores: The dick owners' lawyer (I doubt they came up with this themselves) tried to get around the treaty, saying it didn't apply and they did so in a way that just isn't believable. So apparently they didn't like whatever the Treaty would let them have, and wanted what domestic liability law would give them.


FTFH: "The Court is of the view that the damages alleged by the plaintiffs arise from a mishandling of the plaintiffs' luggage and, therefore, their claims are preempted."

"Mishandling" should presumptively include deliberate vandalism for the purpose of humiliating the passenger? I don't agree that's a reasonable conclusion -- particularly given the fact that the Montreal Convention is a treaty intended to limit an airline's liability in an event that injures or kills passengers or destroys or loses cargo entrusted to the airline.

The Convention simply doesn't address the issue of the airline's bag handlers vandalizing checked baggage or cargo entrusted to them, so the Convention shouldn't preempt any claim based on that.
 
2012-12-04 01:28:52 PM

Wasilla Hillbilly: How useful is a dildo to a hetero couple? Use your imagination people, damn.


Very much this.

/men also get headaches
 
2012-12-04 01:31:15 PM

maxx2112: cig-mkr: What pisses me off is the fact that they went into someones luggage. What do the handlers do, pick out a random suitcase and check it out for shait? Never pack anything you aren't willing to lose. Hey the TSA made it easy for them by not allowing you to lock you suitcase.

From the pic, it appears the bag broke and was repaired ad hoc.


Yeah - after seeing the picture these guys are being greedy assholes. Also, why is it relevant that they are gay?
 
2012-12-04 01:35:58 PM

cig-mkr: "What pisses me off is the fact that they went into someones luggage. What do the handlers do, pick out a random suitcase and check it out for shait?"


C'mon, son.
 
2012-12-04 01:40:07 PM

mypinkpony: abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?

Peni- more than one penis

*goes back and sits in corner*


You're already in the corner, now turn around and face the wall so I can put this hat on you. Penis may have come from another language but it's an English word now and follows English pluralization rules; penises is fine.
 
2012-12-04 01:53:25 PM
So, anything at all can happen to your luggage and you have no recourse whatsoever?
 
2012-12-04 02:02:00 PM

Flakeloaf: mypinkpony: abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?

Peni- more than one penis

*goes back and sits in corner*

You're already in the corner, now turn around and face the wall so I can put this hat on you. Penis may have come from another language but it's an English word now and follows English pluralization rules; penises is fine.


Peni would not have been correct even in the original Latin; it would have been penes. According to the dictionary, either penises or penes is acceptable. Peni is wrong.
 
2012-12-04 02:03:00 PM

Day_Old_Dutchie: Fark Rye For Many Whores: Snarfangel: The Moving Phallus flies; and, having flit,
Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit,
Shall lure it back from Continental Airlines,
Nor all thy Tears wash out the Lubricant.
.

What a NSFW flying fake fallus might look like.

This one's much better...DONGCOPTER!


Funniest shiat, evar.
 
2012-12-04 02:32:33 PM
You know, many years ago, I thought it was clever when I noticed that some people tied a big colored ribbon around their suitcase handle in order to make it easier to identify at baggage claim. Then everyone started to do this and it became more difficult to find your luggage in a cluster of several others with the same big colored ribbons.

I suppose this is just the natural evolution of that idea to make their bag unique, so they can find it fast and get on with their vacation...
 
2012-12-04 03:31:55 PM

Prof. Ann Marion: You know, many years ago, I thought it was clever when I noticed that some people tied a big colored ribbon around their suitcase handle in order to make it easier to identify at baggage claim. Then everyone started to do this and it became more difficult to find your luggage in a cluster of several others with the same big colored ribbons.

I suppose this is just the natural evolution of that idea to make their bag unique, so they can find it fast and get on with their vacation...


"Oh shiat...was our black bag the one with the purple jelly dong, or did we pack the black bag with the Fisto sticking out this time?"
 
2012-12-04 05:08:15 PM

H31N0US: abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?

I'm guessing so that the bottom could simultaneously top by proxy?


I would pay good money to see two guys that flexible.
 
2012-12-04 07:30:25 PM

Gyrfalcon: H31N0US: abhorrent1: Two gay men? Why do they need a dildo? Don't they have penises?

I'm guessing so that the bottom could simultaneously top by proxy?

I would pay good money to see two guys that flexible.


cirque du sogay?
 
2012-12-04 08:39:47 PM

imnotadoctor: It's more disturbing to me that Continental is using minors to handle luggage. Only a 12 year old would do something this stupid.



Or union baggage handlers.
 
2012-12-05 12:08:28 PM

doctor wu: So, anything at all can happen to your luggage and you have no recourse whatsoever?


According to this judge. However, this judge is incorrect.
 
Displayed 99 of 99 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report