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(International Business Times)   Goodness gracious   (ibtimes.co.uk) divider line 50
    More: Scary, Mr Corrections Officer, North Carolina, state bureau of investigation, judicial district, Department of Public Safety, prisoners, United States District Court  
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13418 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 8:19 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-04 08:10:41 AM
Prisoners at the facility also say guards made them throw captured bunnies into oncoming traffic, kiss wild snakes, strip naked and pretend to have sex.

That sounds kinda gay.
 
2012-12-04 08:21:30 AM
That's a weird salad-tossing technique.
 
2012-12-04 08:22:28 AM
They should be grateful.
Some people do that for fun!
 
2012-12-04 08:23:46 AM
if they performed for the guards, they would be rewarded with food, cigarettes, beer and preferential work assignments, the inmates said.

Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.
 
2012-12-04 08:25:20 AM
Nice one, subby
 
2012-12-04 08:27:46 AM
What a thrill.
 
2012-12-04 08:28:42 AM
Prisoners at the facility also say guards made them throw captured bunnies into oncoming traffic

I'm having a hard time believing any of this story once it reached this point.
Wild rabbits are difficult to catch, and I'm sure a passing motorist would have reported 'bunnies' being thrown into oncoming traffic.

As for the hot sauce rubbing on the balls; well who's not been there after a few drinks? I'm I right?
 
2012-12-04 08:28:57 AM
MAMA MIA...that's a spicy meat aball.
 
2012-12-04 08:32:00 AM
ranchmarketsnapavalley.com 
"So good, you can slather it on your balls!"
 
2012-12-04 08:32:23 AM
Yeah, +1 subster. I guessed it was about some sort of fireballs.

/ow, my balls
 
2012-12-04 08:32:43 AM
Everyone knows central Carolina BBQ has a vinegar based sauce.
 
2012-12-04 08:32:52 AM
FTFA: "DAC considers the allegations to be serious and the alleged actions in violation of policy, which warrants further review by management."

It's good to know David Allen Coe considers these allegations to be serious.
 
2012-12-04 08:33:08 AM
pattayatoday.net

Unavailable for comment.
 
2012-12-04 08:36:32 AM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Prisoners at the facility also say guards made them throw captured bunnies into oncoming traffic

I'm having a hard time believing any of this story once it reached this point.
Wild rabbits are difficult to catch, and I'm sure a passing motorist would have reported 'bunnies' being thrown into oncoming traffic.

As for the hot sauce rubbing on the balls; well who's not been there after a few drinks? I'm I right?


It does sound a little made up. It's like the prisoners were conspiring against the officers one night and it went down like this: Prisoner John, "Okay, so we got public humiliation with the faked sex acts thing, physical abuse with the hot sauce on balls - " Prisoner Bob, "My idea!" John, "Yeah, thanks Bob. Great idea. Okay, what else can we throw in there that will get us attention?" Prisoner Joe, "Well, everyone likes cute little bunnies."
 
2012-12-04 08:37:50 AM
That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.

media.thestate.com

"You heard me right, Otis..."
 
2012-12-04 08:40:50 AM

Devolving_Spud: That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.

[media.thestate.com image 403x500]

"You heard me right, Otis..."


Hah! At least one person is going to go off googling for 'andy griffith pickle episode.'
 
2012-12-04 08:41:03 AM

Devolving_Spud: That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.

[media.thestate.com image 403x500]

"You heard me right, Otis..."


My uncle treated aunt Bea when she was dying in the hospital. He said she would mumble incoherently about that episode and that she didn't want to pickle the okra too
 
2012-12-04 08:41:18 AM
yosemite-sam.net
"My biscuits are burning! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts!"
 
2012-12-04 08:43:38 AM
Thanks to THX 1138 I now get the headline.

/some of us really do need a picture
 
2012-12-04 08:46:18 AM
+1 from me on the headline. I always like the subtle ones.
 
2012-12-04 08:47:02 AM
Terrible story but a classic headline.
 
2012-12-04 08:49:22 AM
I guess Louie got a job as a prison guard...

cdn2.screenjunkies.com
 
2012-12-04 08:50:14 AM
I once accidentally applied hot sauce to my genitals.

Lesson learned: When attending a crawfish boil, you wash your hands before you pee.
 
2012-12-04 08:50:42 AM
Nothing but a little fraternity prank.

vivat circulus fratrum
 
2012-12-04 08:58:40 AM

BullBearMS: I once accidentally applied hot sauce to my genitals.

Lesson learned: When attending a crawfish boil, you wash your hands before you pee.


You sticking with that version of your story?
 
2012-12-04 09:01:39 AM
All those things Fark says about cops? Cops say a lot of those things about prison guards.
 
2012-12-04 09:05:58 AM

Devolving_Spud: That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.


Screen caps


i50.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-04 09:08:31 AM
I think I'm going to incorporate this into foreplay with the wife. We'll call it Jerry Leeing.
 
2012-12-04 09:13:54 AM
This here is Boss Keene's ditch... it's got your dirt in it, what's your dirt doin' in Boss Keene's ditch?
 
2012-12-04 09:17:57 AM
I had my doubts, but find these allegations too crazy to make up.

"Prisoners at the facility also say guards made them throw captured bunnies into oncoming traffic, kiss wild snakes, strip naked and pretend to have sex."

2.bp.blogspot.com

A quick GIS confirmed for me that this is indeed a thing
 
2012-12-04 09:37:01 AM

BullBearMS: I once accidentally applied hot sauce to my genitals.

Lesson learned: When attending a crawfish boil, you wash your hands before you pee.


Yeah. Also applies prior to getting freaky with your gf after making nachos with lots and lots of jalepenos on them. (Fun fact: your suggestion to "put some ice cream on it to cool it off" will NOT be graciously received in the helpful spirit that it was offered.)
 
2012-12-04 09:51:22 AM
That could make your balls Schweddy.
 
2012-12-04 09:52:51 AM
FTA: They said the guards made them gulp 'Exotic Hot Sauce' and slather it on their genitals, which resulted in painful blisters. Sampson is a medium/minimum Hot security prison...

Jeebus... after reading subby's headline, I thought that JLL was in prison (again) for rolling his own
 
2012-12-04 09:53:12 AM
pmerrill.com

They really do put that shiat on everything!
 
2012-12-04 10:04:51 AM
oyster.ignimgs.com
 
2012-12-04 10:10:19 AM
Subby, I want to love you like a lover should.

+100,000 on the Scoville scale
 
2012-12-04 10:13:24 AM

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: Devolving_Spud: That sort of treatment of inmates in North Carolina goes back many years. There was an episode of the Andy Griffith Show where Otis the Drunk was made to strip naked and do bad things with Aunt Bea's pickles. TV Land refuses to air the episode, but you can still find it on the Internet.

Screen caps


[i50.tinypic.com image 400x1236]


Golll-ollll-eeee!
 
2012-12-04 10:21:08 AM
You'd think they'd want a little hot sauce on their cockmeat sandwiches.
 
2012-12-04 10:32:03 AM
upload.wikimedia.org

/goodness gracious
 
2012-12-04 11:02:26 AM
That is so hot.

i.ytimg.com
 
2012-12-04 11:25:18 AM

Mr. Shabooboo: [yosemite-sam.net image 360x177]
"My biscuits are burning! Fire in the hatch! Great horny toads, that smarts!"


Actually really and truly LMAO over here

Plus ...

Cannot imagine forcing the Aryan Brotherhood. Had to be in Pish-Tosh wing of the prison
 
2012-12-04 11:51:20 AM
Is it too late for a North Carolina tag?
 
2012-12-04 01:29:14 PM
Poor bunnies.
 
2012-12-04 01:37:47 PM

MsMelinaKae: Is it too late for a North Carolina tag?


Oh please, oh please, oh please! That would be so awesome.
 
2012-12-04 03:10:27 PM
Admirable restraint there, subby. Perfectly done!
 
2012-12-04 05:22:37 PM
subby gets my +1
 
2012-12-04 05:31:26 PM
So... You guys DON'T want cigarettes, beer, food and preferential work assignments?

Also: Nice one, subs...
 
2012-12-04 10:51:29 PM
Not just one, no, but TWO simultaneous autoplay videos on the same page?

Go F*CK yourselves, "International Business Times". Speaking of which, WTF does this have to do with "international business"?

And F*CK you, subby, and the horse you rode in on, and you TOO modmins and Drew, and the trolls, and OMG I don't want to forget anyone oh yes 20th Century Fox and of course my darling wife and husband and my beautiful daughter *HI there Murgatroyd* and of course *PHEW* f*ck you, Martin Scorsese my genius mentor, I;ve learned so much and f*ck you too Spielberg - no really, burn in Hell - and oh, all the little people ... the catering assistant who never brought me my god. damn. Naya. water. yeah burn in hell biatch - and that dick in the catering tent who and I am completely serious had NO IDEA whether or not unagi is vegan - OMG so many to remember, how about everybody here just GFY!! Thank you! *feigned tears of joy*
 
2012-12-05 09:32:33 PM

jimpoz: [upload.wikimedia.org image 220x255]

/goodness gracious


Posada knew.
 
2012-12-05 10:23:18 PM
You know who deserves hot sauce on his balls? The guy designing the ads on that website.
 
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