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(Ars Technica)   Verizon patents set top box that listens to what's going on in your house, then delivers targeted ads to your TV. "We can hear you now"   (arstechnica.com) divider line 194
    More: Asinine, Verizon, top box, Google TV, plain  
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7785 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 8:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-04 05:13:25 AM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-04 06:03:35 AM  
This is a good headline
 
2012-12-04 06:14:26 AM  
Didn't I tell you marketers are evil?
 
2012-12-04 06:26:40 AM  
I see it now. Cat food ads 24/7.
 
2012-12-04 07:43:11 AM  
Mheh, the government already is through your cellphone.
 
2012-12-04 08:37:52 AM  
Combine this with Fox News and you have something that could be in every room of every house.
 
2012-12-04 08:47:44 AM  

PreMortem: Mheh, the government already is through your cellphone.


This has nothing to do with the government. It's entirely in the private sector.

/just goes to show how evil the private sector can be
//who do you trust more? those with a motive to get your vote or those who are motivated to get your money?
 
2012-12-04 08:49:14 AM  

SurfaceTension: //who do you trust more? those with a motive to get your vote or those who are motivated to get your money?


You seem to be under the impression they're not one and the same
 
2012-12-04 08:50:23 AM  
More and more reason I'm feeling better about cutting the chord. I don't particularly enjoy the prospect of paying Verizon (or Comcast, or charter, et al) for the privilege of selling me.
 
2012-12-04 08:50:32 AM  
1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.
 
2012-12-04 08:51:32 AM  
What's a set-top box?

/TiVo and cablecards FTW
 
2012-12-04 08:51:52 AM  
Targeted ads based on what is going on in the house... that might make for uncomfortable family visits for some Farkers...

"Hey son, why are there so many ads for anal lube, Broadway musicals, and Doc Johnson products blasting on the TV?"
 
2012-12-04 08:52:32 AM  
Patent application != patent.
 
2012-12-04 08:52:49 AM  
MS is already watching you via your Kinect, and it knows you really like Cheetos.
 
2012-12-04 08:53:57 AM  
Hey, if this means Verizon is conferring some amazing benefit as a result of the advertising (as I see YouTube to be) such as....say.... paying 2/3 of my rent monthly then I'd be ok with this.
 
2012-12-04 08:54:18 AM  
eshop.macsales.com

Problem Solved.
 
2012-12-04 08:54:48 AM  
Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!
 
2012-12-04 08:55:53 AM  
The next step will be to make it illegal to have an off switch on your TV.

math.ucsd.edu
 
2012-12-04 08:56:19 AM  
Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?
 
2012-12-04 08:58:35 AM  

BigDamn: Patent application != patent.


Well you weren't supposed to read the article before commenting.

thesantadestroy.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-04 08:58:40 AM  

THX 1138: 1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.


You'd get tons of ads from Trojan brand condoms, birth control for women and viagra.
 
2012-12-04 08:58:42 AM  
This reminds me of how North Korea has microphones in everybody's home. Instead of a communism government listening in on us, it'll be a corporatocracy with its tendrils all over the legislature and beyond.
 
2012-12-04 08:59:21 AM  

CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?


People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.
 
2012-12-04 09:00:08 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: What's a set-top box?

/TiVo and cablecards FTW


Who still has a tv with a top big enough to set anything on?
 
2012-12-04 09:01:09 AM  
Man, fark that shiat.
 
2012-12-04 09:01:17 AM  

DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.


I wonder if those people who were in favor of the Patriot Act ("I've got nothing to hide, and you shouldn't either, citizen!") would be in favor of this too.
 
2012-12-04 09:02:38 AM  

PreMortem: Mheh, the government already is through your cellphone.


In the 1970's the whacko conspiracy theorists said the government was going to plant tracking devices on everyone.

If you had suggested that it would be the private sector and everyone would pay for the privilege you'd have been sent to the insane asylum.
 
2012-12-04 09:03:43 AM  

Gordon Bennett: The next step will be to make it illegal to have an off switch on your TV.

[math.ucsd.edu image 512x384]


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-04 09:03:48 AM  
What happens when they are forced to become mandatory reporters?
 
2012-12-04 09:04:36 AM  

BigDamn: Patent application != patent.


You seem to be confusing the way the patent office SHOULD work with the way the patent office DOES work. Why shouldn't this be a perfectly patentable idea?
 
2012-12-04 09:05:34 AM  
Next the telescreen television will shout at you for half-assing your exercise routine.
 
2012-12-04 09:05:40 AM  

Prank Call of Cthulhu: What's a set-top box?

/TiVo and cablecards FTW


But then you can't order all those interesting, affordable pay-per-view events.
 
MFK
2012-12-04 09:06:08 AM  
HOW ABOUT NO? 
 
2012-12-04 09:06:37 AM  

CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?


Sure, just make it so that people who have it in their homes get a discount on their bill. People like to save money!

Just like how the Progressive Snapshot saves you money by recording your driving habits....
 
2012-12-04 09:06:55 AM  
Some of my more paranoid friends said that my Kinect was probably doing this already. I was worried about it for a minute, but then I thought to myself "All this thing is going to learn by watching me is that I'm a lazy stoner who plays a lot of video games," which any normal person would figure out after talking to me for 5 minutes anyway.
 
2012-12-04 09:08:18 AM  

PreMortem: Mheh, the government already is through your cellphone.


And Google. But this is not quite as weird as wanting to sit like Al Bundy and watch boobies on TV. Or what if you want to make out with your mistress, babysitter, or secretary. Then your wife comes home to find ads for STD test kits and birth control? Hell, this is worse than a damn parrot. And far more creepy.

The gub'ment don't be sending no ads to my phone based on the crap I say. In fact, I am rather surprised the men in black haven't shown up either. I guess I am small potatoes.
 
2012-12-04 09:10:11 AM  

Jim.Casy: I'm a lazy stoner


Sweet, the local swat team will be by in a few minutes to break down your door, shoot your dog, and throw your ass in jail.
 
2012-12-04 09:10:19 AM  

mr_a: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 600x614]


I'm sure that thought has not crossed their mind at all. They wouldn't do something like put the camera directly next to the IR remote sensor would they?
 
2012-12-04 09:11:42 AM  
I'm envisioning a mod that puts the mic and camera on a toggle so that the user can turn it on, stage a conversation, and then turn it off again.
 
2012-12-04 09:12:24 AM  
i184.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-04 09:17:16 AM  
Do people still use DVRs? Seems rather last decade to me, since any content can be be streamed Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and a several other places.

So they patented it. So what? This doesn't mean that they intend to deploy it, but only to get a license fee from someone else.
 
2012-12-04 09:18:13 AM  

Chabash: What happens when they are forced to become mandatory reporters?


Forced? They'll just sell your info to the highest bidder like FB does.
 
2012-12-04 09:18:19 AM  
Won't be long before I'm flooded with Beano, and Gas-X ads.

/Turn it up, biatches
 
2012-12-04 09:19:41 AM  

JackieRabbit: Do people still use DVRs? Seems rather last decade to me, since any content can be be streamed Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and a several other places.

So they patented it. So what? This doesn't mean that they intend to deploy it, but only to get a license fee from someone else.


So the license the patent to someone else who will use it? Like Motorola who builds their boxes?
 
2012-12-04 09:19:47 AM  

BoxOfBees: I'm envisioning a mod that puts the mic and camera on a toggle so that the user can turn it on, stage a conversation, and then turn it off again.


It's called that putty stuff you use to put up posters.
 
2012-12-04 09:20:03 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

/that's what's going on over here
 
2012-12-04 09:20:38 AM  

bearded clamorer: Won't be long before I'm flooded with Beano, and Gas-X ads.

/Turn it up, biatches


that was close to a nice simulpost
 
2012-12-04 09:21:24 AM  
Nobody says you have to get one.
 
2012-12-04 09:21:27 AM  
www.the-prisoner-6.freeserve.co.uk
 
2012-12-04 09:21:47 AM  

GlobalStrategic MapleSyrup Reserve: BigDamn: Patent application != patent.

Well you weren't supposed to read the article before commenting.


Gosh, thank you.
Did you read the headline?
 
2012-12-04 09:22:11 AM  

DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.


E) have no other option because it ends up being put on everything, like DRM, which will prompt a huge spike in cable theft from people who still want the product but not the "added features".

Capitalism nowadays is not about making money by selling people what they want to buy, but making money by forcing people to buy what you want to sell (and then suing them for trying to get what they actually want).
 
2012-12-04 09:22:54 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: bearded clamorer: Won't be long before I'm flooded with Beano, and Gas-X ads.

/Turn it up, biatches

that was close to a nice simulpost


Great minds...
 
2012-12-04 09:24:07 AM  
So when the box catches a couple of horny teens on the couch, they're guilty of creating and possessing kiddie porn, right?
 
2012-12-04 09:25:38 AM  
CujoQuarrel

Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

Sure, just have it "earn" the mark FarmVille points and they'll be lining up to buy them.
 
2012-12-04 09:26:44 AM  

namegoeshere: So when the box catches a couple of horny teens on the couch, they're guilty of creating and possessing kiddie porn, right?


Nah, they're rich.
 
2012-12-04 09:28:41 AM  
2012 - Bagumpity patents a set-top box that continually whispers keyword phrases to the other set-top box in order to decrease the percentage of feminine hygiene, male enhancement, payday/title loan, reverse mortgage, state minimum auto insurance, and crappy auto manufacturer advertisements.

Basically, the idea is to convince the cable company that all you want to see between reruns of semi-popular sitcoms are beer advertisements featuring scantily clad bikini models.

I've always thought that they needed a "this commercial sucks! I'd never buy that product in a million years!" button on the remote.
 
2012-12-04 09:29:17 AM  

SurfaceTension: PreMortem: Mheh, the government already is through your cellphone.

This has nothing to do with the government. It's entirely in the private sector.

/just goes to show how evil the private sector can be
//who do you trust more? those with a motive to get your vote or those who are motivated to get your money?


Those who are motivated to get my money.
 
2012-12-04 09:30:09 AM  

InfrasonicTom: JackieRabbit: Do people still use DVRs? Seems rather last decade to me, since any content can be be streamed Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and a several other places.

So they patented it. So what? This doesn't mean that they intend to deploy it, but only to get a license fee from someone else.

So the license the patent to someone else who will use it? Like Motorola who builds their boxes?


That's one scenario. Another is to wait until someone makes some good cash off the technology without a license and then file a patent infringement suit. Profit.
 
2012-12-04 09:30:10 AM  
The thing to do here would be to feed back the audio from FOX news into the set top box and see what kinds of good deals you could get for ammo, gold and mobility scooters.
 
2012-12-04 09:30:42 AM  
TVs make great computer monitors and movie screens.
 
2012-12-04 09:34:44 AM  

Fast Moon: DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.

E) have no other option because it ends up being put on everything, like DRM, which will prompt a huge spike in cable theft from people who still want the product but not the "added features".

Capitalism nowadays is not about making money by selling people what they want to buy, but making money by forcing people to buy what you want to sell (and then suing them for trying to get what they actually want).


Here, here to that! I am working on getting a better video on demand setup in my home. I hate all of the advertising on TV and would much rather have the far better quality DVD/BlueRay boxset of whatever show it is that I am watching.

A bit off topic here, but can anyone recommend any good video streaming software? I already have a server in place and am currently using TVersity, but their streaming support for PS3 is weak at best. Half the damn codecs don't load properly and I get a fail to launch on the video. I used to use ORB, but that software got WAY too resource intense, so much so it almost needs its own system.
 
2012-12-04 09:35:32 AM  
Three easy solutions:

1) don't go with Verizon. I am happy to say that I have never been a Verizon customer. Not cellphone, not cable or internet.

2) Don't get cable television. I don't think this is going to be installed in their mandatory cable modem to put pop-ups on your computer.

3) If you must get cable television, it's a simple microphone, find a way to block the mic, put a Furby next to it, or in an extreme case, open it up and cut one of the mic wires. Now, this last one works best if you have a friend who can get you a roll of those warranty stickers so that when you open the case you can put another factory sticker on the bottom and not get into trouble with Verizon and pay extra money for opening up the box and damaging it.
 
2012-12-04 09:35:37 AM  
This will be like Clippy for your life instead of MS Word. "I see you and your spouse are having an argument? May I suggest marriage counseling?"
 
2012-12-04 09:37:04 AM  
Sometimes I wonder if someone is watching me through the Xbox Kinect? I don't even know if that is illegal anymore.
 
2012-12-04 09:39:25 AM  
Fark. Now I have to smoke my pot and pay my hookers in the bathroom.

That reminds me... I need to get more Scrubbing Bubbles.
 
2012-12-04 09:40:44 AM  

stacye: This will be like Clippy for your life instead of MS Word. "I see you and your spouse are having an argument? May I suggest marriage counseling?"


I see you're masturbating to Saved by the Bell reruns, may I suggest you have a seat over there, the authorities have been notified.
 
2012-12-04 09:42:42 AM  
If I fart at the cable box, will it automatically turn the channel over to Fox News?
 
2012-12-04 09:43:22 AM  
If you have GMail, Google is doing this already. They read your email archives and send you targeted ads based off of keywords. It is the same if not worse than this.

If the product is "free" then you are really the product. This is how they get you.
 
2012-12-04 09:43:22 AM  

JackieRabbit: Do people still use DVRs? Seems rather last decade to me, since any content can be be streamed Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and a several other places.


Just so you know, even though we live this wonderful age of technology, about 1/3 of the US still doesn't have access to unlimited high speed broadband. I use a mobile broadband card, and my cap is 5GB a month, so no streaming for me. Of course, I am lucky enough to live just close enough to a cell phone tower so that is an option. If I lived about a mile down the road, I would be screwed.
 
2012-12-04 09:44:28 AM  
I guess I'd just get pictures of people having sex with the phone company. Fark Verizon!
 
2012-12-04 09:45:25 AM  
i758.photobucket.com

/Wonder what they would cum up with for ads??
 
2012-12-04 09:46:08 AM  
I like this part all of these patents have yet to be put to use
 
2012-12-04 09:48:22 AM  

Burr: JackieRabbit: Do people still use DVRs? Seems rather last decade to me, since any content can be be streamed Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and a several other places.

Just so you know, even though we live this wonderful age of technology, about 1/3 of the US still doesn't have access to unlimited high speed broadband. I use a mobile broadband card, and my cap is 5GB a month, so no streaming for me. Of course, I am lucky enough to live just close enough to a cell phone tower so that is an option. If I lived about a mile down the road, I would be screwed.


It is probably more than 1/3 that applies here, since "high speed" is considered to be 5 Mb for government purposes. I can only get 5Mbit at my house in the country, and it lags to even slower during peak hours. That "high speed" is not really high enough for reliable streaming.I'm lucky to get even that, no cable out here, only DSL. There are going to be quite a few households that are unable to stream video for quite some time to come, so yeah.
 
2012-12-04 09:49:15 AM  
I do not watch television. What about me?
 
2012-12-04 09:50:41 AM  

Matthew Keene: I do not watch television. What about me?


You are a hipster.
 
2012-12-04 09:51:32 AM  

cookiefleck: THX 1138: 1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.

You'd get tons of ads from Trojan brand condoms, birth control for women and viagra.


GOATSE
 
2012-12-04 09:52:40 AM  

BigDamn: Patent application != patent.


And patent != product.
 
2012-12-04 09:53:20 AM  
Crewmannumber6

Nobody says you have to get one.
They originally said that about "black boxes" in cars too.
 
2012-12-04 09:53:57 AM  

rooftop235: what if you want to make out with your mistress, babysitter, or secretary. In fact, I am rather surprised the men in black haven't shown up either. I guess I am small potatoes.


The hell are you doing with your mistress, babysitter, and secretary that the men in black would care about?
 
2012-12-04 09:55:55 AM  

THX 1138: 1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.


I must say ol' chap, I admire the cut of your jib and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
2012-12-04 09:56:45 AM  
Perhaps the tinfoil people were right after all, just a little premature.
 
2012-12-04 09:57:22 AM  
www.theanfieldwrap.com
 
2012-12-04 09:57:38 AM  
just have this looped and playing 24/7 near the mic

Link
 
2012-12-04 09:57:47 AM  

MightyPez: More and more reason I'm feeling better about cutting the chord. I don't particularly enjoy the prospect of paying Verizon (or Comcast, or charter, et al) for the privilege of selling me.


Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?
 
2012-12-04 09:57:51 AM  

dervish16108: DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.

I wonder if those people who were in favor of the Patriot Act ("I've got nothing to hide, and you shouldn't either, citizen!") would be in favor of this too.


no matter how far gov't or private sector takes the Big Brother the bulk of the worker bees will continue to scoff at the thought that it was not some ugly turban wearing cave dwelling boogie man that was responsible for 9-11. people are idiots.
 
2012-12-04 09:59:10 AM  
1) Wire a vibrating bullet into your house power supply.

2) Mount it above location of microphone in the box

3) Encase the area in foam

4) Enjoy


Alternative: get a small audio player, load it with nothing but loud orgasms. Place an earbud right by the mic. Apply foam or other enclosing material.
 
2012-12-04 09:59:38 AM  

namegoeshere: So when the box catches a couple of horny teens on the couch, they're guilty of creating and possessing kiddie porn, right?


penguindevil.com
 
2012-12-04 10:00:31 AM  

A Terrible Human: KarmicDisaster: It is probably more than 1/3 that applies here, since "high speed" is considered to be 5 Mb for government purposes. I can only get 5Mbit at my house in the country, and it lags to even slower during peak hours. That "high speed" is not really high enough for reliable streaming.I'm lucky to get even that, no cable out here, only DSL. There are going to be quite a few households that are unable to stream video for quite some time to come, so yeah.

What the hell. I live in a small rural town in southeast Ky and I have cable dsl,my average download speed is 23mbs and it's cheap.


Funny thing is, a guy about a mile away does have cable. They strung the line for about a mile through the trees to get to his house, no poles. Not sure if he did that himself or what or how long it will last like that. Anyway, the cable company does not feel like putting in poles or burying a cable for miles just to pick up a couple people that might not even subscribe. There is a lot of space in parts of the country. There was WIMAX but the tower caught fire and they aren't replacing it plus I would need a tower with a gain antenna to pick it up.
 
2012-12-04 10:01:18 AM  

John Redcorn: If you have GMail, Google is doing this already. They read your email archives and send you targeted ads based off of keywords. It is the same if not worse than this.

If the product is "free" then you are really the product. This is how they get you.


I use free antenna tv. I get about 20 stations and nobody is tracking my viewing habits. Personally if everyone stopped with pay tv and goes back to free tv maybe we could get back the better tv days of years past.
 
2012-12-04 10:02:29 AM  
If you drop you pants and backup close to the camera, Verizon won't know whether you've just placed a mirror in front of the camera.and they're viewing themselves or what.

maddogmedia.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-04 10:02:42 AM  
And I thought my grandmother was a bit off when she started covering the TV so no one from the TV could see her. Now I'll be doing the same...oh wait... that's right, I turned off cable a year ago and my last TV purchase was in 1996.

/course now all my computers and phones have cameras and mics already built in, no set top box needed.
 
2012-12-04 10:03:13 AM  
4.bp.blogspot.comupload.wikimedia.orgupload.wikimedia.orgecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-12-04 10:03:22 AM  

Uranus Is Huge!: Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!


Truly, if Romney was president he'd give Verizon all the tax cuts they need to make sure they don't need to do this to make a profit.
 
2012-12-04 10:03:31 AM  

A Terrible Human: KarmicDisaster: It is probably more than 1/3 that applies here, since "high speed" is considered to be 5 Mb for government purposes. I can only get 5Mbit at my house in the country, and it lags to even slower during peak hours. That "high speed" is not really high enough for reliable streaming.I'm lucky to get even that, no cable out here, only DSL. There are going to be quite a few households that are unable to stream video for quite some time to come, so yeah.

What the hell. I live in a small rural town in southeast Ky and I have cable dsl,my average download speed is 23mbs and it's cheap.


Some places are getting better, but it is taking some time. I know most small towns are starting to get better service, but still according to 2010 Census data about 20% of the US population lives in a rural area. And note, rural means "not in a city/town" , not "not in a city like New York". Add that 20% to those towns that haven't got the high speed yet, and I can see how it couple be close to 1/4 of the US (which I feel is more accurate then 1/3, those are just numbers I see on the internet, and I think those are a few years old).

Hell, my commute goes through about 30-40 miles of AT&T dead zone, and that dead zone includes two county seats of about 10,000 people each.
 
2012-12-04 10:03:34 AM  

generallyso: Next the telescreen television will shout at you for half-assing your exercise routine.


Then charge you more for Obamma Care insurance.
 
2012-12-04 10:04:05 AM  

Vegan Meat Popsicle: BigDamn: Patent application != patent.

You seem to be confusing the way the patent office SHOULD work with the way the patent office DOES work. Why shouldn't this be a perfectly patentable idea?


No, he's right. This is a published patent application. It hasn't been examined yet, much less granted or issued.
 
2012-12-04 10:05:27 AM  

Matthew Keene: I do not watch television. What about me?


Implant.
 
2012-12-04 10:05:37 AM  

MightyPez: More and more reason I'm feeling better about cutting the chord. I don't particularly enjoy the prospect of paying Verizon (or Comcast, or charter, et al) for the privilege of selling me.


How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?
 
2012-12-04 10:07:21 AM  

KarmicDisaster: There was WIMAX but the tower caught fire and they aren't replacing it plus I would need a tower with a gain antenna to pick it up.


Do you have any suggestions on how I can increase my cell reception? Some days it is fine, others I can't get a signal. I have been looking into getting an antenna hardwired with one of those "access points" (so, the antenna is outside, the access point is on my ceiling) but I still get the same signal on my roof as I do in the house it seems, so that won't work.
 
2012-12-04 10:07:36 AM  

cookiefleck: THX 1138: 1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.

You'd get tons of ads from Trojan brand condoms, birth control for women and viagra.


No, more like cougarlife and ashleymadison.
 
2012-12-04 10:08:25 AM  

Jim.Casy: Some of my more paranoid friends said that my Kinect was probably doing this already. I was worried about it for a minute, but then I thought to myself "All this thing is going to learn by watching me is that I'm a lazy stoner who plays a lot of video games," which any normal person would figure out after talking to me for 5 minutes anyway.


Fark yeah! Represent!

/wait, what
 
2012-12-04 10:09:46 AM  
Also, Aw, hell naw
 
2012-12-04 10:11:06 AM  

A Terrible Human: I realize all that but it's just strange to read it. o.o


When we went on our honeymoon, we drove from Ohio to the Black Hills in South Dakota. We had great cell phone reception up until we got out of Mitchell, SD. After that, no service for the rest of the trip (which was kind of nice actually, no distractions) which was about 4 days, even in Rapid City.

That was 5 years ago.
 
2012-12-04 10:11:25 AM  
This is making seriously reflect on the events that have transpired in my living room.....
 
2012-12-04 10:11:42 AM  
While I certainly don't want anything watching/listening to me, I couldn't care less about monitoring my viewing habits and sending me targeted ads. Even if coupled with info from Google or whatnot. I've found targeted ads are better than constant Old Navy and tampon commercials. Plus I DVR everything and fast forward anyway.
 
2012-12-04 10:14:22 AM  
So I'll get targeted with Steve Martins Penis Cream
 
2012-12-04 10:14:51 AM  
You people are all too short-sighted. People will not only embrace this, they will do so willingly.

You choose.

Verizon A) Standard Set-top box with all the fixings - $120 per month
Verizon B) Intelligent Set-top box with added features - $80 per month.


/sheeple
 
2012-12-04 10:16:51 AM  
My home is full of yelling. My husband yells in Tamil and Singhala to his friends and family on skype (they're the loudest languages ever...geez) and my cats yell from 7 pm until their bedtime wanting canned food. I'm guessing it'll be cat food and hearing aid commercials for us!
 
2012-12-04 10:17:28 AM  
What could they possibly glean from me and my drunk friends screaming profanitites at each other while playing sports games on PS3?
 
2012-12-04 10:18:46 AM  
I prefer to look on the bright side of things...

"VICTORIA'S SECRET! LINGERIE! BOOBIES!"
 
2012-12-04 10:18:55 AM  
I would think this would violate any number of privacy and/or eavesdropping/wiretapping laws, at the least. I realize it's voluntary, but does that mean everyone who enters the house has to also be a Verizon subscriber (check local laws regarding single-party or two-party consent)? If the government filed for this patent, the consipiracy folks would be building tin-foil HUTS out in the desert somewhere. But since it's just the hard-working, private-sector job-creators, it's ok?
 
2012-12-04 10:19:15 AM  

OnlyM3: Crewmannumber6

Nobody says you have to get one. They originally said that about "black boxes" in cars too.


If it is just looked at during an auto accident and no other time, I really don't have an issue with it.

If it's able to be viewed remotely by some government agency, and then remotely ticket drivers for speeding, used to create an additional tax for those who (like me) drive in excess of 20,000 a year, and sends my driving information to my insurance company who will then adjust my rates accordingly...then I'll never buy a car newer than 2014.

The product that scares me right now is the 'Snapshot' being used by Progressive. Right now as far as I know they are the only company that offers it (because they are the only one that advertises it), but it plugs into your car's computer and records EVERYTHING you do. The auto insurance industry has tried (and failed) for several decades to get those required for all cars, but thankfully, Congress (in a rare example of doing something right) has blocked it.
 
2012-12-04 10:19:36 AM  

Burr: KarmicDisaster: There was WIMAX but the tower caught fire and they aren't replacing it plus I would need a tower with a gain antenna to pick it up.

Do you have any suggestions on how I can increase my cell reception? Some days it is fine, others I can't get a signal. I have been looking into getting an antenna hardwired with one of those "access points" (so, the antenna is outside, the access point is on my ceiling) but I still get the same signal on my roof as I do in the house it seems, so that won't work.


Well, you can get one of those cell phone repeaters, like the ones from Wilson if you have a sweet spot that you can put the repeater in where you get reception; the antennas on those are better than the ones in your cell phone, plus those also often have a port for an external antenna and you can then mess with a gain antenna, an you could try to mount that outside. Doing anything with gain antennas is hard because of the high loss in any long coax that you might run at those frequencies. I ended up putting up a 20' pole to mount the Wimax antenna on back when they had it. I have a certain cabinet in my kitchen where I can put my cell phone and get two bars and use the hot spot when my DSL goes out. Why it works there, I have no idea. Unfortunately it is all very expensive and there is no guarantee if you are in a marginal area that you will be able to improve things.
 
2012-12-04 10:19:37 AM  
"Box, switch to NBC"
"I'm sorry, Dave, but I cannot do that. NBC is lame."
 
2012-12-04 10:19:43 AM  

CCCarnie: I prefer to look on the bright side of things...

"VICTORIA'S SECRET! LINGERIE! BOOBIES!"


Glass always half-full, my friend. Always half-full.
 
2012-12-04 10:25:42 AM  

Great Janitor

>>> OnlyM3:
>>> >>> Crewmannumber6
>>>>>> Nobody says you have to get one.
>>> They originally said that about "black boxes" in cars too.

If it is just looked at during an auto accident and no other time, I really don't have an issue with it.

If it's able to be viewed remotely by some government agency, and then remotely ticket drivers for speeding, used to create an additional tax for those who (like me) drive in excess of 20,000 a year, and sends my driving information to my insurance company who will then adjust my rates accordingly...then I'll never buy a car newer than 2014.

You mean like your cell phone that can be (and often is) turned on remotely to listen to what you're up to?

by private enterprise
and
by government flunkies

and since warrants are a thing of the past...link1 / link2
 
2012-12-04 10:30:19 AM  

Bruce Campbell: Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?


TiMthisIS: How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?


Oh look, grammar nazis. How quaint.
 
2012-12-04 10:34:27 AM  

KarmicDisaster: Well, you can get one of those cell phone repeaters


That's what they are called, I couldn't remember.

KarmicDisaster: Unfortunately it is all very expensive and there is no guarantee if you are in a marginal area that you will be able to improve things.


Eh, its expensive living away from civilized society and trying to access things that people take for granted (I lived in a city for about 5 years for college, but grew up on a farm, so i know the differences). Just had to replace my well pump a few weeks ago, had an old jet style pump that went kaput, replaced it with a submersible, cost $1000. Of course, this is offset that I can have a two story 5 bedroom house on 6 acres for less per month then I was paying for a one bedroom apartment in the city.

I am going to see if Wilson has a return policy on their repeater. More like a "try and buy" to see if it is worth it to shell out $200-$300 for better signal.
 
2012-12-04 10:43:10 AM  

MadMattressMack: [www.theanfieldwrap.com image 200x200]


Damn, beat me to it. Well played
 
2012-12-04 10:43:35 AM  

Burr: KarmicDisaster: Well, you can get one of those cell phone repeaters

That's what they are called, I couldn't remember.

KarmicDisaster: Unfortunately it is all very expensive and there is no guarantee if you are in a marginal area that you will be able to improve things.

Eh, its expensive living away from civilized society and trying to access things that people take for granted (I lived in a city for about 5 years for college, but grew up on a farm, so i know the differences). Just had to replace my well pump a few weeks ago, had an old jet style pump that went kaput, replaced it with a submersible, cost $1000. Of course, this is offset that I can have a two story 5 bedroom house on 6 acres for less per month then I was paying for a one bedroom apartment in the city.

I am going to see if Wilson has a return policy on their repeater. More like a "try and buy" to see if it is worth it to shell out $200-$300 for better signal.


Get the right one for your carrier/band, and google up some users to see what they say. Most of the repeaters are just broadband RF repeaters that will work for any carrier that uses the band that it covers, but some access points like the Sprint fempto cell one are specific for the carrier and will not work with the prepaid versions such as Virgin Mobile . Some of the mainstream places carry them, and you might be able to buy and return if it does not work through Best Buy or Amazon. They also make some that are primarily for use in cars (gets a better antenna on the outside of the car) that might actually work too but the coverage is short (car sized). There is a lot of cheap crap/gimmicks out there like those stick on passive antennas that does not work.
 
2012-12-04 10:47:32 AM  
fark that noise.
 
2012-12-04 10:50:22 AM  
Unless their DVR allows me to view what is recorded on any TV or computer I own, can increase it's storage at a moment's notice (at 3TB now, can go as high as 12 with the case, my RAID level, and the size of the disks.) and can do compression so I can watch what's recorded from even the shakiest connection, they can fark a cactus. And even if they did of all that, I will be unplugging that mic, and putting a resistor in it's place.
 
2012-12-04 10:50:45 AM  
It's gonna end up like chatroulette. Nothing but penises.
 
2012-12-04 10:56:41 AM  
Supermarkets have been doing this shiat (ie, generating personalized ads based off audio/video feeds of the user) since the late 90s at PoS machines:
Link

Yes, that self checkout register might have a secret mic that IDs whether you're male or female, adult or child.

Also, none of the things claimed to have been patented in the article (or in the articles linked-to) have actually been patented.
 
2012-12-04 10:57:17 AM  
Just came here to say that I'm coming up on year two of having dumped cable.

I get all of the broadcast networks in HD w/ surround sound using $10 bunny ear antenna, so I can still watch football and the few broadcast shows I like, Amazon Prime provides me a ton of content, I buy AMC shows the day after they air via Amazon (e.g. Mad Men and Breaking Bad), and for everything else that I miss, they're typically out on Blu-ray within 8 months and I rent from Netflix. And I save $1,000 a year.
 
2012-12-04 11:04:36 AM  
One of the new pay-per-view channels features Watching Your Neighbors or Celebrities from the camera on their set top box. The fee will always be twice that of porn.
 
2012-12-04 11:06:40 AM  

nickerj1: Supermarkets have been doing this shiat (ie, generating personalized ads based off audio/video feeds of the user) since the late 90s at PoS machines:
Link

Yes, that self checkout register might have a secret mic that IDs whether you're male or female, adult or child.

Also, none of the things claimed to have been patented in the article (or in the articles linked-to) have actually been patented.


You talk to the machine at the self checkout register?

0_o
 
2012-12-04 11:08:31 AM  
I'll start building my extra room now. The small dark one that will only hold a recliner, my tv, and soundproof walls.
 
2012-12-04 11:15:02 AM  

SDRR: You talk to the machine at the self checkout register?


I do, and not very nicely
 
2012-12-04 11:15:07 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 300x300]

/that's what's going on over here


Cow rancher, here.
/you don't even wanna know
 
2012-12-04 11:21:55 AM  
you: 'this weed sucks. we need to find someone with decent s***.'

your tv:
commercial 1: bob's fertilizer has all the natural fertilizer you could ever need!
commerical 2: your **** sucks? call 555-drug and get the best crack in town!
commercial 3: at Long Boring Days Rehab we care for you and want to help you with your drug problem. Check in now and we won't tell the police what you've been saying in front of your TV.
 
2012-12-04 11:22:22 AM  
KarmicDisaster

Thanks for all the info! Hopefully it will provide useful in my conflict of "living near people" and "damn it, I need the internet".
 
2012-12-04 11:22:45 AM  
Pretty sure there are apps for phones etc. out there already that listen to songs/radio to give you more info on them. I've heard ads for it on the radio, saying the program would send you ads based on what you were listening to on the radio.
 
2012-12-04 11:28:01 AM  
If you're dumb enough to watch TV then you deserve no freedom.
 
2012-12-04 11:29:30 AM  

MadMattressMack: [www.theanfieldwrap.com image 200x200]


"I'll have a bit more, please!"
 
2012-12-04 11:30:04 AM  

SovietCanuckistan: What could they possibly glean from me and my drunk friends screaming profanitites at each other while playing sports games on PS3?


Approximate age, sex, propensities, food consumption habits, and anything else you're talking about that isn't related to fragging.

/and fragging
 
2012-12-04 11:32:19 AM  
Anybody with kids will get nothing but ads for cereal, condoms and ear plugs
 
2012-12-04 11:38:57 AM  

nytmare: BigDamn: Patent application != patent.

And patent != product.


Now don't start with those fancy facts and logic. Then patents become normal and boring, instead of THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN!
 
2012-12-04 11:45:17 AM  
That's what I need, constant ads for porn, lube, condoms, viagra, porn and more porn.

\Porn
 
2012-12-04 11:46:53 AM  

John Redcorn:

If the product is "free" then you are really the product. This is how they get you.


This is what I keep trying to tell my mother. Nobody gives you anything for free. They ALL want your money, they are NEVER doing it to be nice to you. They start by getting you on their list so they can sell you to the next guy. All those 'free' things are bait to get live names, phone numbers, address, email address. And she wonders why she gets 70-80 catalogs a week. She just won't recycle them until she's gone through every single one, every single page, every single item. Hours upon hours of unnecessary reading, with her horrible eyesight. I keep telling her that she doesn't have to do this "Oh, I do, I might miss something we need." And then she complains about not having enough time to get real stuff done.

/Facepalm smilie here
 
2012-12-04 11:48:03 AM  
i830.photobucket.com

...but how did you get a camera in my house?

/when big brother wants a camera in your house, he'll make sure you want it there and put it there
 
2012-12-04 11:55:02 AM  
I can't imagine ever wanting or using this service, but in the unlikely event that it was in my house, they'd assume my girlfriend lives alone.

I tend to be the silent type.
 
2012-12-04 11:57:02 AM  
So I am about to receive an influx of Vaseline commercials?
 
2012-12-04 12:00:13 PM  

THX 1138: 1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.


I fail to see how you profit from this
 
2012-12-04 12:01:26 PM  

Uranus Is Huge!: Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!


-1/10 You weren't even trying. How many threads have you copy/pasted this in? However, you contribute to my desire to have the Smart and Funny button joined by a Derp button.
 
2012-12-04 12:01:29 PM  
Anyone ever read 1984, viewscreens, Orwell? Why would people do this?

Except it isn't government doing it, it is private enterprise.

/My kinect stays pointed towards the nearest wall when not in use.
//Yes I am cell phones monitoring devices.
 
2012-12-04 12:04:48 PM  
corronchilejano


Uranus Is Huge!: Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!

Truly, if Romney was president he'd give Verizon all the tax cuts they need to make sure they don't need to do this to make a profit.

Instead we get the obamessiah who makes sure they won't need a warrant.

gps w/o warrant

Detention w/o charge, trial, or warrant

Wiretaps w/o warrant

and so on, and so on, and so on.......

/// bush's fault.... right?
 
2012-12-04 12:06:10 PM  

Enemabag Jones: Why would people do this?


www.motherjones.com
 
2012-12-04 12:08:55 PM  
Burr,
Enemabag Jones: Why would people do this?

blog_progressive_snapshot.jpg

Would not do that either.
 
2012-12-04 12:15:40 PM  

Enemabag Jones: Burr,
Enemabag Jones: Why would people do this?
blog_progressive_snapshot.jpg

Would not do that either.


You might not, but you don't care about SAVINGS
 
2012-12-04 12:21:28 PM  

A Terrible Human: Welp there goes my paranoid delusions turning into reality again.


This^
 
2012-12-04 12:30:28 PM  

Jim.Casy: Some of my more paranoid friends said that my Kinect was probably doing this already. I was worried about it for a minute, but then I thought to myself "All this thing is going to learn by watching me is that I'm a lazy stoner who plays a lot of video games," which any normal person would figure out after talking to me for 5 minutes anyway.


LOL, same here. Probably start showing me adds for tasty fast food joints or snack food.
 
2012-12-04 12:48:22 PM  
I don't care, I'm not touching my toes for some English broad who's had five kids or whatever. Thinkpol can bite me.
 
2012-12-04 12:48:35 PM  

Baz the Spaz: [www.the-prisoner-6.freeserve.co.uk image 836x552]

"I will not be have already been pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered"


Just off the top of my head: Social Security & driver's license numbers.

There are also files and indexes that go with those.
 
2012-12-04 12:49:53 PM  

dabbletech: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 280x280][upload.wikimedia.org image 220x309][upload.wikimedia.org image 300x200][ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]


so verizon would see you

drinking while chomping cheetos & farking

& the pistol is just in case?
 
2012-12-04 12:51:09 PM  
Hello Mr Yamamoto! Welcome to The Gap!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITjsb22-EwQ
 
2012-12-04 01:06:32 PM  
Google patented and started doing this for Android earlier this year, so unless there's something new with Verizon's implementation or technique, I don't see how this patent will be enforceable.
 
2012-12-04 01:07:39 PM  
"OH GOD YES, shiat, HARDER, PLEASE DON'T STOP" sex sounds will yield: ads for Bibles and other religious paraphernalia, samples of anti-diarrhea meds and/or laxitives, and pamphlets detailing the evils of spousal abuse.

/Allllllllllrighty then!
 
2012-12-04 01:07:48 PM  

OnlyM3: corronchilejano


Uranus Is Huge!: Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!

Truly, if Romney was president he'd give Verizon all the tax cuts they need to make sure they don't need to do this to make a profit.
Instead we get the obamessiah who makes sure they won't need a warrant.

gps w/o warrant

Detention w/o charge, trial, or warrant

Wiretaps w/o warrant

and so on, and so on, and so on.......

/// bush's fault.... right?


From your own damn links.
Detention w/o trial: "Under the Bush administration, similar claims of worldwide detention authority were used to hold even a U.S. citizen detained on U.S. soil in military custody"
GPS tracking: First off, article is from a HEAVILY right-wing news organization. Second, it talks how SCOTUS ruled that it IS a violation of the 4th Amendment. The article says "Obama is pushing for it" but declines to provide any evidence that is the case. Third, this is the Justice Dept. challenging the ruling in a 9th Circuit Court. Fourth, and best of all, "The Supreme Court instructed the Ninth Circuit to reconsider the case in light of the Jones decision." from the link to the actual article.
Wiretaps w/o warrant: "Warrantless wiretapping, when initiated by the Bush administration..." NEWSFLASH, GENIUS! Email is unencrypted when it is sent across the internet! So are VOIP calls! *gasp!* All of that can be intercepted by ANYONE. This is just data logging. If you don't want the government, or anyone else for that matter, in your business, try encrypting your shiat.

So yea, still going with Bush.

You are typical teabagger, fundie, lying-spouting trashing, who at any moment, do these mental gymnastics to blame Obama for everything. I would say use your brain, but I doubt you have one. Maybe you can go with the Scarecrow to Oz, and if you are lucky, the wizard will have two brains.
 
2012-12-04 01:22:27 PM  

Gordon Bennett: The next step will be to make it illegal to have an off switch on your TV.

[math.ucsd.edu image 512x384]


Either that or make it impossible to change the channel, lower or mute the audio, or turn off the TV during when commercials are running without pulling out the wall plug.
 
2012-12-04 01:39:44 PM  

kiteless: Uranus Is Huge!: Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!

-1/10 You weren't even trying. How many threads have you copy/pasted this in? However, you contribute to my desire to have the Smart and Funny button joined by a Derp button.


I will pay cash money if you can find any other thread where I have posted this. Now go back to your basement and calibrate your Snarkometer.
 
2012-12-04 01:41:12 PM  

Rich Cream: SovietCanuckistan: What could they possibly glean from me and my drunk friends screaming profanitites at each other while playing sports games on PS3?

Approximate age, sex, propensities, food consumption habits, and anything else you're talking about that isn't related to fragging.

/and fragging


SO much of that. Borderlands 2 has taken over mah life
 
2012-12-04 01:42:12 PM  

Waldo Pepper: just have this looped and playing 24/7 near the mic

Link


Link
 
2012-12-04 01:46:03 PM  

OnlyM3: Wiretaps w/o warrant


I clicked on Zombie Breitbart so y'all don't have to. (Would it have killed you to link to the actual ACLU article? Oh, wait, the Ay See Ell You is evul.)

/// bush's fault.... right?

BSABSVR.
 
2012-12-04 01:49:27 PM  

inner ted: dabbletech: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 280x280][upload.wikimedia.org image 220x309][upload.wikimedia.org image 300x200][ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]

so verizon would see you

drinking while chomping cheetos & farking

& the pistol is just in case?


Pistol, AstroGlide, whatever.
 
2012-12-04 02:06:06 PM  
I've lived without this up until now, I think I can go without it for a while longer. In other words, Hell NO!!!

Quite honestly, I have no doubts that shenanigans are afoot when it comes to electronic devices being hijacked/hacked by companies or governments to check up on the citizens. It's just something that if one has the ability to do it will be done.

Do I trust my fellow man to not infringe on my right to privacy? Not in a Brazillion years...
 
2012-12-04 02:08:06 PM  
my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's
 
2012-12-04 03:14:52 PM  
Targeted ads on Google and Facebook have been a nightmare (I don't participate, they show me nothing of relevance, and they're distracting and annoying). However, targeted ads on Hulu have been a godsend. After a couple of months of clicking whether I like an ad or switching to different ads, Hulu's managed to show me relevant ads for things I actually wind up purchasing. So as long as Verizon's device can assure me the data is safe and anonymous, I would love to have ads that are directly relevant to me based on "hearing" my conversations. I'd use the device.
 
2012-12-04 03:45:29 PM  
Now I have to patent a little speaker box that says FARKFARKFARKFARK repeatedly.

What ads would I receive?
 
2012-12-04 03:57:52 PM  

anarchy_x: my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's


I used to work for a company that did those Life Alert units (the commercial had the old lady on the floor, she pressed a button and screamed "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"). About once a day I'd get an alert from some old man saying that he was about to have an important and private conversation with someone and he didn't want us listening in and was going to briefly unplug his unit. It did no good to tell him that it only operated when he pressed the button or remote. He just assumed it was always on.
 
2012-12-04 04:05:41 PM  

Great Janitor: anarchy_x: my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's

I used to work for a company that did those Life Alert units (the commercial had the old lady on the floor, she pressed a button and screamed "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"). About once a day I'd get an alert from some old man saying that he was about to have an important and private conversation with someone and he didn't want us listening in and was going to briefly unplug his unit. It did no good to tell him that it only operated when he pressed the button or remote. He just assumed it was always on.


I'm assuming he was still watching porn, even at that age.
 
2012-12-04 04:36:17 PM  

Saberus Terras: Great Janitor: anarchy_x: my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's

I used to work for a company that did those Life Alert units (the commercial had the old lady on the floor, she pressed a button and screamed "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"). About once a day I'd get an alert from some old man saying that he was about to have an important and private conversation with someone and he didn't want us listening in and was going to briefly unplug his unit. It did no good to tell him that it only operated when he pressed the button or remote. He just assumed it was always on.

I'm assuming he was still watching porn, even at that age.


My post might be a bit confusing, but it wasn't just one old man, it was a bunch of old people who'd call up to let us know that they didn't want us listening in at that moment. Some would call to tell us that they were unplugging the unit. Some told us to turn the volume down on our end, it was an amusing aspect of the job.

Biggest example of the clients not knowing how they worked: married clients are in a car wreck, she's injured and needs medical help. Their family is yelling at us because the device, which plugs into their land line phone, was not working when they were pressing the necklace remote from their car on the freeway. Worse part about that job wasn't the old people who didn't understand technology, it was their families who didn't understand what we did. One canceled because we weren't doing any form of home health service or assistance with medication and said that the price we were charging was too much to not offer that stuff. I asked him "Sir, you're paying less than $50 a month, in what universe were you expecting seven day a week at home nursing and medication for only $50?"
 
2012-12-04 05:18:57 PM  

Great Janitor: Saberus Terras: Great Janitor: anarchy_x: my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's

I used to work for a company that did those Life Alert units (the commercial had the old lady on the floor, she pressed a button and screamed "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"). About once a day I'd get an alert from some old man saying that he was about to have an important and private conversation with someone and he didn't want us listening in and was going to briefly unplug his unit. It did no good to tell him that it only operated when he pressed the button or remote. He just assumed it was always on.

I'm assuming he was still watching porn, even at that age.

My post might be a bit confusing, but it wasn't just one old man, it was a bunch of old people who'd call up to let us know that they didn't want us listening in at that moment. Some would call to tell us that they were unplugging the unit. Some told us to turn the volume down on our end, it was an amusing aspect of the job.


Lemon party.
 
2012-12-04 05:41:37 PM  
"Mr. Dax, due to the grunting and swearing our audio sensors picked up, we recommend Ex-Lax for your constipation needs."

"Mr. Dax, you appear to be masturbating. After analyzing your internet browsing habits and previous purchases, could we interest you in Midget Bangers 37?"

"Mr. Dax, you are eating ice cream again. There is a Weight Watchers meeting .2 miles away."

"Mr. Dax, we've noticed your penis is magnificent. Would you like to submit a picture to Vivid, Evil Angel or Bang Bros?"
 
2012-12-04 06:29:27 PM  

Shmeat: Now I have to patent a little speaker box that says FARKFARKFARKFARK repeatedly.

What ads would I receive?


An ad for fark.com?
 
2012-12-04 07:03:27 PM  
yell into the cable box "I'M BUYING METH!"
and the DEA shows up outside your door
 
2012-12-04 07:15:07 PM  
Wasn't this the plot of that terrible batman movie with jim carrey?

//it ended badly for all parties..
 
2012-12-04 07:40:01 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: yell into the cable box "I'M BUYING METH!"
and the DEA shows up outside your door


Better yet, yell I'm making meth! And you'll get a SWAT team.


This would be awesome for when you're visiting the in-laws.
 
2012-12-04 07:48:08 PM  

Prevailing Wind: You people are all too short-sighted. People will not only embrace this, they will do so willingly.

You choose.

Verizon A) Standard Set-top box with all the fixings - $120 per month
Verizon B) Intelligent Set-top box with added features - $80 per month.


/sheeple


Nah, it'll be more like:

Verizon A) Standard box with local channels, PBS and QVC/ HSN, 438 foreign language channels and PPV: $120/mo for the first 3 months, unknown price after.

Verizon B) WEB ENABLED! HD! set top box with new MY HOME! features (only available with VB package. Only available when purchased with HD Xtra +3D +Fox News +ESPN +any channel you would actually watch package): $340/mo with FREE INSTALLATION!!
 
2012-12-04 07:59:33 PM  

DeathCipris: Fast Moon: DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.

E) have no other option because it ends up being put on everything, like DRM, which will prompt a huge spike in cable theft from people who still want the product but not the "added features".

Capitalism nowadays is not about making money by selling people what they want to buy, but making money by forcing people to buy what you want to sell (and then suing them for trying to get what they actually want).

Here, here to that! I am working on getting a better video on demand setup in my home. I hate all of the advertising on TV and would much rather have the far better quality DVD/BlueRay boxset of whatever show it is that I am watching.

A bit off topic here, but can anyone recommend any good video streaming software? I already have a server in place and am currently using TVersity, but their streaming support for PS3 is weak at best. Half the damn codecs don't load properly and I get a fail to launch on the video. I used to use ORB, but that software got WAY too resource intense, so much so it almost needs its own system.


Cox is planning on inserting ads inside VOD content. I haven't had cable in ages, so I don't know if anyone else is doing this. I kept my mouth shut during the meeting, but that reaffirmed my decision to "cut the cord".
 
2012-12-04 08:28:42 PM  
reminds me of Microsoft's patent regarding using the kinect to see how many people are in front of the tv and then disallowing certain content
 
2012-12-04 10:04:25 PM  
I'm sure 90% of my dimwitted fellow citizens will accept it eagerly just as soon as they increase the rates by 30% and then promise a 15% "discount" if you accept the spybox.

Because you dipshiats fall for every other sucker deal.

Not long after that's accepted, there will be a law that forbids telecom companies from telling you about the cameras and mics.
 
2012-12-04 10:42:01 PM  
This bodes well.
 
2012-12-04 11:21:34 PM  
that is just too scary for words
 
2012-12-05 01:02:46 AM  
No. There is immediate prior art for this. If I remember correctly, there was project called Cuecat tried this back round 1999, as just one example. They not only had their little barcode scanner, they also had a microphone that would listen to among other things would listen to the sounds on the TV and would deliver a pop ad to your computer... however the premise was a little different as they promised the user some sort of special deal or percentage for playing.
 
2012-12-05 10:14:36 AM  

MightyPez: Bruce Campbell: Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?

TiMthisIS: How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?

Oh look, grammar nazis. How quaint.


I prefer Spelling Fundamentalist. Grammar Czar doesn't apply here.

/can't laugh at self?
 
2012-12-05 10:35:43 AM  

TiMthisIS: MightyPez: Bruce Campbell: Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?

TiMthisIS: How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?

Oh look, grammar nazis. How quaint.

I prefer Spelling Fundamentalist. Grammar Czar doesn't apply here.

/can't laugh at self?


If it's funny, sure. When has being a grammar nazi ever been funny?
 
2012-12-05 03:31:24 PM  

MightyPez: TiMthisIS: MightyPez: Bruce Campbell: Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?

TiMthisIS: How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?

Oh look, grammar nazis. How quaint.

I prefer Spelling Fundamentalist. Grammar Czar doesn't apply here.

/can't laugh at self?

If it's funny, sure. When has being a grammar nazi ever been funny?


I don't know, but we're not talking about them... They're not even spelling nazis... If they were, they would've said, "Um, you mean cord, dumbass!", or done a "FTFY" correction of it... Instead, they poked fun at a typo that changes the meaning of your sentence, and that's pretty nearly always funny!
 
2012-12-05 09:30:06 PM  

Jim.Casy: Some of my more paranoid friends said that my Kinect was probably doing this already. I was worried about it for a minute, but then I thought to myself "All this thing is going to learn by watching me is that I'm a lazy stoner who plays a lot of video games," which any normal person would figure out after talking to me for 5 minutes anyway.


Some of your friends might be right. Some conspiracy junkies have gone on Youtube with their cable box and popped the lid to show that this stuff already exists.

I'm not lying, look it up.
 
2012-12-06 12:22:58 AM  

Gordon Bennett: The next step will be to make it illegal to have an off switch on your TV.

[math.ucsd.edu image 512x384]


Thank you. Max Headroom came into my mind as soon as I read the headline.
 
2012-12-06 12:25:13 AM  
FTFA: Verizon has filed a patent for a DVR that can watch and listen to the goings-on in your living room. In the application, the company proposes to use the technology to serve targeted ads appropriate to whatever you're doing in the, uh, privacy of your own home-fighting, cuddling, or hanging out with your cats.

So, if my lady likes to ride-f*ck me on the living room couch, are we going to start seeing a lot of pr0n ads?
 
2012-12-06 12:27:11 AM  
FTFA: Verizon gives two examples of the context-sensitive DVR's use in a couple's living room: sounds of arguing prompt ads for marriage counseling, while sounds of "cuddling" prompts ads for contraceptives.

Jeebus H. Christmas... Orwell got it right.
 
2012-12-06 12:30:45 AM  

Jim.Casy: Some of my more paranoid friends said that my Kinect was probably doing this already. I was worried about it for a minute, but then I thought to myself "All this thing is going to learn by watching me is that I'm a lazy stoner who plays a lot of video games," which any normal person would figure out after talking to me for 5 minutes anyway.


That's okay until a potential employer is able to purchase that information from a clearinghouse and use it to screen you out. You might not see an issue with being a lazy stoner, but someone you're trying to work for might take issue with it.
 
2012-12-06 05:24:14 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: Gordon Bennett: The next step will be to make it illegal to have an off switch on your TV.

[math.ucsd.edu image 512x384]

Thank you. Max Headroom came into my mind as soon as I read the headline.


Cheers. Obviously it was my first thought as well. Truly a remarkable, essential TV series, not just for its prescience but for the simple fact that a show that deeply and openly subversive managed to get on network television.

I honestly wonder if any of the actual network executives at the time even saw the show while it aired, or if the decision to cancel it immediately followed their first viewing.
 
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