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(Ars Technica)   Verizon patents set top box that listens to what's going on in your house, then delivers targeted ads to your TV. "We can hear you now"   (arstechnica.com) divider line 194
    More: Asinine, Verizon, top box, Google TV, plain  
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7782 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 8:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-04 12:21:28 PM

A Terrible Human: Welp there goes my paranoid delusions turning into reality again.


This^
 
2012-12-04 12:30:28 PM

Jim.Casy: Some of my more paranoid friends said that my Kinect was probably doing this already. I was worried about it for a minute, but then I thought to myself "All this thing is going to learn by watching me is that I'm a lazy stoner who plays a lot of video games," which any normal person would figure out after talking to me for 5 minutes anyway.


LOL, same here. Probably start showing me adds for tasty fast food joints or snack food.
 
2012-12-04 12:48:22 PM
I don't care, I'm not touching my toes for some English broad who's had five kids or whatever. Thinkpol can bite me.
 
2012-12-04 12:48:35 PM

Baz the Spaz: [www.the-prisoner-6.freeserve.co.uk image 836x552]

"I will not be have already been pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed or numbered"


Just off the top of my head: Social Security & driver's license numbers.

There are also files and indexes that go with those.
 
2012-12-04 12:49:53 PM

dabbletech: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 280x280][upload.wikimedia.org image 220x309][upload.wikimedia.org image 300x200][ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]


so verizon would see you

drinking while chomping cheetos & farking

& the pistol is just in case?
 
2012-12-04 12:51:09 PM
Hello Mr Yamamoto! Welcome to The Gap!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITjsb22-EwQ
 
2012-12-04 01:06:32 PM
Google patented and started doing this for Android earlier this year, so unless there's something new with Verizon's implementation or technique, I don't see how this patent will be enforceable.
 
2012-12-04 01:07:39 PM
"OH GOD YES, shiat, HARDER, PLEASE DON'T STOP" sex sounds will yield: ads for Bibles and other religious paraphernalia, samples of anti-diarrhea meds and/or laxitives, and pamphlets detailing the evils of spousal abuse.

/Allllllllllrighty then!
 
2012-12-04 01:07:48 PM

OnlyM3: corronchilejano


Uranus Is Huge!: Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!

Truly, if Romney was president he'd give Verizon all the tax cuts they need to make sure they don't need to do this to make a profit.
Instead we get the obamessiah who makes sure they won't need a warrant.

gps w/o warrant

Detention w/o charge, trial, or warrant

Wiretaps w/o warrant

and so on, and so on, and so on.......

/// bush's fault.... right?


From your own damn links.
Detention w/o trial: "Under the Bush administration, similar claims of worldwide detention authority were used to hold even a U.S. citizen detained on U.S. soil in military custody"
GPS tracking: First off, article is from a HEAVILY right-wing news organization. Second, it talks how SCOTUS ruled that it IS a violation of the 4th Amendment. The article says "Obama is pushing for it" but declines to provide any evidence that is the case. Third, this is the Justice Dept. challenging the ruling in a 9th Circuit Court. Fourth, and best of all, "The Supreme Court instructed the Ninth Circuit to reconsider the case in light of the Jones decision." from the link to the actual article.
Wiretaps w/o warrant: "Warrantless wiretapping, when initiated by the Bush administration..." NEWSFLASH, GENIUS! Email is unencrypted when it is sent across the internet! So are VOIP calls! *gasp!* All of that can be intercepted by ANYONE. This is just data logging. If you don't want the government, or anyone else for that matter, in your business, try encrypting your shiat.

So yea, still going with Bush.

You are typical teabagger, fundie, lying-spouting trashing, who at any moment, do these mental gymnastics to blame Obama for everything. I would say use your brain, but I doubt you have one. Maybe you can go with the Scarecrow to Oz, and if you are lucky, the wizard will have two brains.
 
2012-12-04 01:22:27 PM

Gordon Bennett: The next step will be to make it illegal to have an off switch on your TV.

[math.ucsd.edu image 512x384]


Either that or make it impossible to change the channel, lower or mute the audio, or turn off the TV during when commercials are running without pulling out the wall plug.
 
2012-12-04 01:39:44 PM

kiteless: Uranus Is Huge!: Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!

-1/10 You weren't even trying. How many threads have you copy/pasted this in? However, you contribute to my desire to have the Smart and Funny button joined by a Derp button.


I will pay cash money if you can find any other thread where I have posted this. Now go back to your basement and calibrate your Snarkometer.
 
2012-12-04 01:41:12 PM

Rich Cream: SovietCanuckistan: What could they possibly glean from me and my drunk friends screaming profanitites at each other while playing sports games on PS3?

Approximate age, sex, propensities, food consumption habits, and anything else you're talking about that isn't related to fragging.

/and fragging


SO much of that. Borderlands 2 has taken over mah life
 
2012-12-04 01:42:12 PM

Waldo Pepper: just have this looped and playing 24/7 near the mic

Link


Link
 
2012-12-04 01:46:03 PM

OnlyM3: Wiretaps w/o warrant


I clicked on Zombie Breitbart so y'all don't have to. (Would it have killed you to link to the actual ACLU article? Oh, wait, the Ay See Ell You is evul.)

/// bush's fault.... right?

BSABSVR.
 
2012-12-04 01:49:27 PM

inner ted: dabbletech: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 280x280][upload.wikimedia.org image 220x309][upload.wikimedia.org image 300x200][ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]

so verizon would see you

drinking while chomping cheetos & farking

& the pistol is just in case?


Pistol, AstroGlide, whatever.
 
2012-12-04 02:06:06 PM
I've lived without this up until now, I think I can go without it for a while longer. In other words, Hell NO!!!

Quite honestly, I have no doubts that shenanigans are afoot when it comes to electronic devices being hijacked/hacked by companies or governments to check up on the citizens. It's just something that if one has the ability to do it will be done.

Do I trust my fellow man to not infringe on my right to privacy? Not in a Brazillion years...
 
2012-12-04 02:08:06 PM
my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's
 
2012-12-04 03:14:52 PM
Targeted ads on Google and Facebook have been a nightmare (I don't participate, they show me nothing of relevance, and they're distracting and annoying). However, targeted ads on Hulu have been a godsend. After a couple of months of clicking whether I like an ad or switching to different ads, Hulu's managed to show me relevant ads for things I actually wind up purchasing. So as long as Verizon's device can assure me the data is safe and anonymous, I would love to have ads that are directly relevant to me based on "hearing" my conversations. I'd use the device.
 
2012-12-04 03:45:29 PM
Now I have to patent a little speaker box that says FARKFARKFARKFARK repeatedly.

What ads would I receive?
 
2012-12-04 03:57:52 PM

anarchy_x: my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's


I used to work for a company that did those Life Alert units (the commercial had the old lady on the floor, she pressed a button and screamed "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"). About once a day I'd get an alert from some old man saying that he was about to have an important and private conversation with someone and he didn't want us listening in and was going to briefly unplug his unit. It did no good to tell him that it only operated when he pressed the button or remote. He just assumed it was always on.
 
2012-12-04 04:05:41 PM

Great Janitor: anarchy_x: my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's

I used to work for a company that did those Life Alert units (the commercial had the old lady on the floor, she pressed a button and screamed "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"). About once a day I'd get an alert from some old man saying that he was about to have an important and private conversation with someone and he didn't want us listening in and was going to briefly unplug his unit. It did no good to tell him that it only operated when he pressed the button or remote. He just assumed it was always on.


I'm assuming he was still watching porn, even at that age.
 
2012-12-04 04:36:17 PM

Saberus Terras: Great Janitor: anarchy_x: my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's

I used to work for a company that did those Life Alert units (the commercial had the old lady on the floor, she pressed a button and screamed "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"). About once a day I'd get an alert from some old man saying that he was about to have an important and private conversation with someone and he didn't want us listening in and was going to briefly unplug his unit. It did no good to tell him that it only operated when he pressed the button or remote. He just assumed it was always on.

I'm assuming he was still watching porn, even at that age.


My post might be a bit confusing, but it wasn't just one old man, it was a bunch of old people who'd call up to let us know that they didn't want us listening in at that moment. Some would call to tell us that they were unplugging the unit. Some told us to turn the volume down on our end, it was an amusing aspect of the job.

Biggest example of the clients not knowing how they worked: married clients are in a car wreck, she's injured and needs medical help. Their family is yelling at us because the device, which plugs into their land line phone, was not working when they were pressing the necklace remote from their car on the freeway. Worse part about that job wasn't the old people who didn't understand technology, it was their families who didn't understand what we did. One canceled because we weren't doing any form of home health service or assistance with medication and said that the price we were charging was too much to not offer that stuff. I asked him "Sir, you're paying less than $50 a month, in what universe were you expecting seven day a week at home nursing and medication for only $50?"
 
2012-12-04 05:18:57 PM

Great Janitor: Saberus Terras: Great Janitor: anarchy_x: my dad swears the cable company has been doing this since the 70's

I used to work for a company that did those Life Alert units (the commercial had the old lady on the floor, she pressed a button and screamed "I've fallen, and I can't get up!"). About once a day I'd get an alert from some old man saying that he was about to have an important and private conversation with someone and he didn't want us listening in and was going to briefly unplug his unit. It did no good to tell him that it only operated when he pressed the button or remote. He just assumed it was always on.

I'm assuming he was still watching porn, even at that age.

My post might be a bit confusing, but it wasn't just one old man, it was a bunch of old people who'd call up to let us know that they didn't want us listening in at that moment. Some would call to tell us that they were unplugging the unit. Some told us to turn the volume down on our end, it was an amusing aspect of the job.


Lemon party.
 
2012-12-04 05:41:37 PM
"Mr. Dax, due to the grunting and swearing our audio sensors picked up, we recommend Ex-Lax for your constipation needs."

"Mr. Dax, you appear to be masturbating. After analyzing your internet browsing habits and previous purchases, could we interest you in Midget Bangers 37?"

"Mr. Dax, you are eating ice cream again. There is a Weight Watchers meeting .2 miles away."

"Mr. Dax, we've noticed your penis is magnificent. Would you like to submit a picture to Vivid, Evil Angel or Bang Bros?"
 
2012-12-04 06:29:27 PM

Shmeat: Now I have to patent a little speaker box that says FARKFARKFARKFARK repeatedly.

What ads would I receive?


An ad for fark.com?
 
2012-12-04 07:03:27 PM
yell into the cable box "I'M BUYING METH!"
and the DEA shows up outside your door
 
2012-12-04 07:15:07 PM
Wasn't this the plot of that terrible batman movie with jim carrey?

//it ended badly for all parties..
 
2012-12-04 07:40:01 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: yell into the cable box "I'M BUYING METH!"
and the DEA shows up outside your door


Better yet, yell I'm making meth! And you'll get a SWAT team.


This would be awesome for when you're visiting the in-laws.
 
2012-12-04 07:48:08 PM

Prevailing Wind: You people are all too short-sighted. People will not only embrace this, they will do so willingly.

You choose.

Verizon A) Standard Set-top box with all the fixings - $120 per month
Verizon B) Intelligent Set-top box with added features - $80 per month.


/sheeple


Nah, it'll be more like:

Verizon A) Standard box with local channels, PBS and QVC/ HSN, 438 foreign language channels and PPV: $120/mo for the first 3 months, unknown price after.

Verizon B) WEB ENABLED! HD! set top box with new MY HOME! features (only available with VB package. Only available when purchased with HD Xtra +3D +Fox News +ESPN +any channel you would actually watch package): $340/mo with FREE INSTALLATION!!
 
2012-12-04 07:59:33 PM

DeathCipris: Fast Moon: DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.

E) have no other option because it ends up being put on everything, like DRM, which will prompt a huge spike in cable theft from people who still want the product but not the "added features".

Capitalism nowadays is not about making money by selling people what they want to buy, but making money by forcing people to buy what you want to sell (and then suing them for trying to get what they actually want).

Here, here to that! I am working on getting a better video on demand setup in my home. I hate all of the advertising on TV and would much rather have the far better quality DVD/BlueRay boxset of whatever show it is that I am watching.

A bit off topic here, but can anyone recommend any good video streaming software? I already have a server in place and am currently using TVersity, but their streaming support for PS3 is weak at best. Half the damn codecs don't load properly and I get a fail to launch on the video. I used to use ORB, but that software got WAY too resource intense, so much so it almost needs its own system.


Cox is planning on inserting ads inside VOD content. I haven't had cable in ages, so I don't know if anyone else is doing this. I kept my mouth shut during the meeting, but that reaffirmed my decision to "cut the cord".
 
2012-12-04 08:28:42 PM
reminds me of Microsoft's patent regarding using the kinect to see how many people are in front of the tv and then disallowing certain content
 
2012-12-04 10:04:25 PM
I'm sure 90% of my dimwitted fellow citizens will accept it eagerly just as soon as they increase the rates by 30% and then promise a 15% "discount" if you accept the spybox.

Because you dipshiats fall for every other sucker deal.

Not long after that's accepted, there will be a law that forbids telecom companies from telling you about the cameras and mics.
 
2012-12-04 10:42:01 PM
This bodes well.
 
2012-12-04 11:21:34 PM
that is just too scary for words
 
2012-12-05 01:02:46 AM
No. There is immediate prior art for this. If I remember correctly, there was project called Cuecat tried this back round 1999, as just one example. They not only had their little barcode scanner, they also had a microphone that would listen to among other things would listen to the sounds on the TV and would deliver a pop ad to your computer... however the premise was a little different as they promised the user some sort of special deal or percentage for playing.
 
2012-12-05 10:14:36 AM

MightyPez: Bruce Campbell: Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?

TiMthisIS: How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?

Oh look, grammar nazis. How quaint.


I prefer Spelling Fundamentalist. Grammar Czar doesn't apply here.

/can't laugh at self?
 
2012-12-05 10:35:43 AM

TiMthisIS: MightyPez: Bruce Campbell: Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?

TiMthisIS: How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?

Oh look, grammar nazis. How quaint.

I prefer Spelling Fundamentalist. Grammar Czar doesn't apply here.

/can't laugh at self?


If it's funny, sure. When has being a grammar nazi ever been funny?
 
2012-12-05 03:31:24 PM

MightyPez: TiMthisIS: MightyPez: Bruce Campbell: Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?

TiMthisIS: How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?

Oh look, grammar nazis. How quaint.

I prefer Spelling Fundamentalist. Grammar Czar doesn't apply here.

/can't laugh at self?

If it's funny, sure. When has being a grammar nazi ever been funny?


I don't know, but we're not talking about them... They're not even spelling nazis... If they were, they would've said, "Um, you mean cord, dumbass!", or done a "FTFY" correction of it... Instead, they poked fun at a typo that changes the meaning of your sentence, and that's pretty nearly always funny!
 
2012-12-05 09:30:06 PM

Jim.Casy: Some of my more paranoid friends said that my Kinect was probably doing this already. I was worried about it for a minute, but then I thought to myself "All this thing is going to learn by watching me is that I'm a lazy stoner who plays a lot of video games," which any normal person would figure out after talking to me for 5 minutes anyway.


Some of your friends might be right. Some conspiracy junkies have gone on Youtube with their cable box and popped the lid to show that this stuff already exists.

I'm not lying, look it up.
 
2012-12-06 12:22:58 AM

Gordon Bennett: The next step will be to make it illegal to have an off switch on your TV.

[math.ucsd.edu image 512x384]


Thank you. Max Headroom came into my mind as soon as I read the headline.
 
2012-12-06 12:25:13 AM
FTFA: Verizon has filed a patent for a DVR that can watch and listen to the goings-on in your living room. In the application, the company proposes to use the technology to serve targeted ads appropriate to whatever you're doing in the, uh, privacy of your own home-fighting, cuddling, or hanging out with your cats.

So, if my lady likes to ride-f*ck me on the living room couch, are we going to start seeing a lot of pr0n ads?
 
2012-12-06 12:27:11 AM
FTFA: Verizon gives two examples of the context-sensitive DVR's use in a couple's living room: sounds of arguing prompt ads for marriage counseling, while sounds of "cuddling" prompts ads for contraceptives.

Jeebus H. Christmas... Orwell got it right.
 
2012-12-06 12:30:45 AM

Jim.Casy: Some of my more paranoid friends said that my Kinect was probably doing this already. I was worried about it for a minute, but then I thought to myself "All this thing is going to learn by watching me is that I'm a lazy stoner who plays a lot of video games," which any normal person would figure out after talking to me for 5 minutes anyway.


That's okay until a potential employer is able to purchase that information from a clearinghouse and use it to screen you out. You might not see an issue with being a lazy stoner, but someone you're trying to work for might take issue with it.
 
2012-12-06 05:24:14 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Gordon Bennett: The next step will be to make it illegal to have an off switch on your TV.

[math.ucsd.edu image 512x384]

Thank you. Max Headroom came into my mind as soon as I read the headline.


Cheers. Obviously it was my first thought as well. Truly a remarkable, essential TV series, not just for its prescience but for the simple fact that a show that deeply and openly subversive managed to get on network television.

I honestly wonder if any of the actual network executives at the time even saw the show while it aired, or if the decision to cancel it immediately followed their first viewing.
 
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