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(Ars Technica)   Verizon patents set top box that listens to what's going on in your house, then delivers targeted ads to your TV. "We can hear you now"   (arstechnica.com) divider line 194
    More: Asinine, Verizon, top box, Google TV, plain  
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7782 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Dec 2012 at 8:47 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-04 09:22:11 AM

DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.


E) have no other option because it ends up being put on everything, like DRM, which will prompt a huge spike in cable theft from people who still want the product but not the "added features".

Capitalism nowadays is not about making money by selling people what they want to buy, but making money by forcing people to buy what you want to sell (and then suing them for trying to get what they actually want).
 
2012-12-04 09:22:54 AM

Giant Clown Shoe: bearded clamorer: Won't be long before I'm flooded with Beano, and Gas-X ads.

/Turn it up, biatches

that was close to a nice simulpost


Great minds...
 
2012-12-04 09:24:07 AM
So when the box catches a couple of horny teens on the couch, they're guilty of creating and possessing kiddie porn, right?
 
2012-12-04 09:25:38 AM
CujoQuarrel

Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

Sure, just have it "earn" the mark FarmVille points and they'll be lining up to buy them.
 
2012-12-04 09:26:44 AM

namegoeshere: So when the box catches a couple of horny teens on the couch, they're guilty of creating and possessing kiddie porn, right?


Nah, they're rich.
 
2012-12-04 09:28:41 AM
2012 - Bagumpity patents a set-top box that continually whispers keyword phrases to the other set-top box in order to decrease the percentage of feminine hygiene, male enhancement, payday/title loan, reverse mortgage, state minimum auto insurance, and crappy auto manufacturer advertisements.

Basically, the idea is to convince the cable company that all you want to see between reruns of semi-popular sitcoms are beer advertisements featuring scantily clad bikini models.

I've always thought that they needed a "this commercial sucks! I'd never buy that product in a million years!" button on the remote.
 
2012-12-04 09:29:17 AM

SurfaceTension: PreMortem: Mheh, the government already is through your cellphone.

This has nothing to do with the government. It's entirely in the private sector.

/just goes to show how evil the private sector can be
//who do you trust more? those with a motive to get your vote or those who are motivated to get your money?


Those who are motivated to get my money.
 
2012-12-04 09:30:09 AM

InfrasonicTom: JackieRabbit: Do people still use DVRs? Seems rather last decade to me, since any content can be be streamed Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and a several other places.

So they patented it. So what? This doesn't mean that they intend to deploy it, but only to get a license fee from someone else.

So the license the patent to someone else who will use it? Like Motorola who builds their boxes?


That's one scenario. Another is to wait until someone makes some good cash off the technology without a license and then file a patent infringement suit. Profit.
 
2012-12-04 09:30:10 AM
The thing to do here would be to feed back the audio from FOX news into the set top box and see what kinds of good deals you could get for ammo, gold and mobility scooters.
 
2012-12-04 09:30:42 AM
TVs make great computer monitors and movie screens.
 
2012-12-04 09:34:44 AM

Fast Moon: DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.

E) have no other option because it ends up being put on everything, like DRM, which will prompt a huge spike in cable theft from people who still want the product but not the "added features".

Capitalism nowadays is not about making money by selling people what they want to buy, but making money by forcing people to buy what you want to sell (and then suing them for trying to get what they actually want).


Here, here to that! I am working on getting a better video on demand setup in my home. I hate all of the advertising on TV and would much rather have the far better quality DVD/BlueRay boxset of whatever show it is that I am watching.

A bit off topic here, but can anyone recommend any good video streaming software? I already have a server in place and am currently using TVersity, but their streaming support for PS3 is weak at best. Half the damn codecs don't load properly and I get a fail to launch on the video. I used to use ORB, but that software got WAY too resource intense, so much so it almost needs its own system.
 
2012-12-04 09:35:32 AM
Three easy solutions:

1) don't go with Verizon. I am happy to say that I have never been a Verizon customer. Not cellphone, not cable or internet.

2) Don't get cable television. I don't think this is going to be installed in their mandatory cable modem to put pop-ups on your computer.

3) If you must get cable television, it's a simple microphone, find a way to block the mic, put a Furby next to it, or in an extreme case, open it up and cut one of the mic wires. Now, this last one works best if you have a friend who can get you a roll of those warranty stickers so that when you open the case you can put another factory sticker on the bottom and not get into trouble with Verizon and pay extra money for opening up the box and damaging it.
 
2012-12-04 09:35:37 AM
This will be like Clippy for your life instead of MS Word. "I see you and your spouse are having an argument? May I suggest marriage counseling?"
 
2012-12-04 09:37:04 AM
Sometimes I wonder if someone is watching me through the Xbox Kinect? I don't even know if that is illegal anymore.
 
2012-12-04 09:39:25 AM
Fark. Now I have to smoke my pot and pay my hookers in the bathroom.

That reminds me... I need to get more Scrubbing Bubbles.
 
2012-12-04 09:40:44 AM

stacye: This will be like Clippy for your life instead of MS Word. "I see you and your spouse are having an argument? May I suggest marriage counseling?"


I see you're masturbating to Saved by the Bell reruns, may I suggest you have a seat over there, the authorities have been notified.
 
2012-12-04 09:42:42 AM
If I fart at the cable box, will it automatically turn the channel over to Fox News?
 
2012-12-04 09:43:22 AM
If you have GMail, Google is doing this already. They read your email archives and send you targeted ads based off of keywords. It is the same if not worse than this.

If the product is "free" then you are really the product. This is how they get you.
 
2012-12-04 09:43:22 AM

JackieRabbit: Do people still use DVRs? Seems rather last decade to me, since any content can be be streamed Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and a several other places.


Just so you know, even though we live this wonderful age of technology, about 1/3 of the US still doesn't have access to unlimited high speed broadband. I use a mobile broadband card, and my cap is 5GB a month, so no streaming for me. Of course, I am lucky enough to live just close enough to a cell phone tower so that is an option. If I lived about a mile down the road, I would be screwed.
 
2012-12-04 09:44:28 AM
I guess I'd just get pictures of people having sex with the phone company. Fark Verizon!
 
2012-12-04 09:45:25 AM
i758.photobucket.com

/Wonder what they would cum up with for ads??
 
2012-12-04 09:46:08 AM
I like this part all of these patents have yet to be put to use
 
2012-12-04 09:48:22 AM

Burr: JackieRabbit: Do people still use DVRs? Seems rather last decade to me, since any content can be be streamed Netflix, Amazon, iTunes and a several other places.

Just so you know, even though we live this wonderful age of technology, about 1/3 of the US still doesn't have access to unlimited high speed broadband. I use a mobile broadband card, and my cap is 5GB a month, so no streaming for me. Of course, I am lucky enough to live just close enough to a cell phone tower so that is an option. If I lived about a mile down the road, I would be screwed.


It is probably more than 1/3 that applies here, since "high speed" is considered to be 5 Mb for government purposes. I can only get 5Mbit at my house in the country, and it lags to even slower during peak hours. That "high speed" is not really high enough for reliable streaming.I'm lucky to get even that, no cable out here, only DSL. There are going to be quite a few households that are unable to stream video for quite some time to come, so yeah.
 
2012-12-04 09:49:15 AM
I do not watch television. What about me?
 
2012-12-04 09:50:41 AM

Matthew Keene: I do not watch television. What about me?


You are a hipster.
 
2012-12-04 09:51:32 AM

cookiefleck: THX 1138: 1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.

You'd get tons of ads from Trojan brand condoms, birth control for women and viagra.


GOATSE
 
2012-12-04 09:52:40 AM

BigDamn: Patent application != patent.


And patent != product.
 
2012-12-04 09:53:20 AM
Crewmannumber6

Nobody says you have to get one.
They originally said that about "black boxes" in cars too.
 
2012-12-04 09:53:57 AM

rooftop235: what if you want to make out with your mistress, babysitter, or secretary. In fact, I am rather surprised the men in black haven't shown up either. I guess I am small potatoes.


The hell are you doing with your mistress, babysitter, and secretary that the men in black would care about?
 
2012-12-04 09:55:55 AM

THX 1138: 1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.


I must say ol' chap, I admire the cut of your jib and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
 
2012-12-04 09:56:45 AM
Perhaps the tinfoil people were right after all, just a little premature.
 
2012-12-04 09:57:22 AM
www.theanfieldwrap.com
 
2012-12-04 09:57:38 AM
just have this looped and playing 24/7 near the mic

Link
 
2012-12-04 09:57:47 AM

MightyPez: More and more reason I'm feeling better about cutting the chord. I don't particularly enjoy the prospect of paying Verizon (or Comcast, or charter, et al) for the privilege of selling me.


Which note are you cutting, the 3rd or the 5th or are you getting rid of harmonics altogether?
 
2012-12-04 09:57:51 AM

dervish16108: DeathCipris: CujoQuarrel: Is there anyone who would allow this monstrosity into their homes?

People that A) know no better. B) don't care (the kind of people that have a public facebook/twitter profile). C) think it's neat (see brain-damaged). D) were upsold by Verizon for some bullshiat new "feature" that they have to "upgrade" for.

I wonder if those people who were in favor of the Patriot Act ("I've got nothing to hide, and you shouldn't either, citizen!") would be in favor of this too.


no matter how far gov't or private sector takes the Big Brother the bulk of the worker bees will continue to scoff at the thought that it was not some ugly turban wearing cave dwelling boogie man that was responsible for 9-11. people are idiots.
 
2012-12-04 09:59:10 AM
1) Wire a vibrating bullet into your house power supply.

2) Mount it above location of microphone in the box

3) Encase the area in foam

4) Enjoy


Alternative: get a small audio player, load it with nothing but loud orgasms. Place an earbud right by the mic. Apply foam or other enclosing material.
 
2012-12-04 09:59:38 AM

namegoeshere: So when the box catches a couple of horny teens on the couch, they're guilty of creating and possessing kiddie porn, right?


penguindevil.com
 
2012-12-04 10:00:31 AM

A Terrible Human: KarmicDisaster: It is probably more than 1/3 that applies here, since "high speed" is considered to be 5 Mb for government purposes. I can only get 5Mbit at my house in the country, and it lags to even slower during peak hours. That "high speed" is not really high enough for reliable streaming.I'm lucky to get even that, no cable out here, only DSL. There are going to be quite a few households that are unable to stream video for quite some time to come, so yeah.

What the hell. I live in a small rural town in southeast Ky and I have cable dsl,my average download speed is 23mbs and it's cheap.


Funny thing is, a guy about a mile away does have cable. They strung the line for about a mile through the trees to get to his house, no poles. Not sure if he did that himself or what or how long it will last like that. Anyway, the cable company does not feel like putting in poles or burying a cable for miles just to pick up a couple people that might not even subscribe. There is a lot of space in parts of the country. There was WIMAX but the tower caught fire and they aren't replacing it plus I would need a tower with a gain antenna to pick it up.
 
2012-12-04 10:01:18 AM

John Redcorn: If you have GMail, Google is doing this already. They read your email archives and send you targeted ads based off of keywords. It is the same if not worse than this.

If the product is "free" then you are really the product. This is how they get you.


I use free antenna tv. I get about 20 stations and nobody is tracking my viewing habits. Personally if everyone stopped with pay tv and goes back to free tv maybe we could get back the better tv days of years past.
 
2012-12-04 10:02:29 AM
If you drop you pants and backup close to the camera, Verizon won't know whether you've just placed a mirror in front of the camera.and they're viewing themselves or what.

maddogmedia.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-04 10:02:42 AM
And I thought my grandmother was a bit off when she started covering the TV so no one from the TV could see her. Now I'll be doing the same...oh wait... that's right, I turned off cable a year ago and my last TV purchase was in 1996.

/course now all my computers and phones have cameras and mics already built in, no set top box needed.
 
2012-12-04 10:03:13 AM
4.bp.blogspot.comupload.wikimedia.orgupload.wikimedia.orgecx.images-amazon.com
 
2012-12-04 10:03:22 AM

Uranus Is Huge!: Welcome to Obama's America!

Thanks a lot libs!


Truly, if Romney was president he'd give Verizon all the tax cuts they need to make sure they don't need to do this to make a profit.
 
2012-12-04 10:03:31 AM

A Terrible Human: KarmicDisaster: It is probably more than 1/3 that applies here, since "high speed" is considered to be 5 Mb for government purposes. I can only get 5Mbit at my house in the country, and it lags to even slower during peak hours. That "high speed" is not really high enough for reliable streaming.I'm lucky to get even that, no cable out here, only DSL. There are going to be quite a few households that are unable to stream video for quite some time to come, so yeah.

What the hell. I live in a small rural town in southeast Ky and I have cable dsl,my average download speed is 23mbs and it's cheap.


Some places are getting better, but it is taking some time. I know most small towns are starting to get better service, but still according to 2010 Census data about 20% of the US population lives in a rural area. And note, rural means "not in a city/town" , not "not in a city like New York". Add that 20% to those towns that haven't got the high speed yet, and I can see how it couple be close to 1/4 of the US (which I feel is more accurate then 1/3, those are just numbers I see on the internet, and I think those are a few years old).

Hell, my commute goes through about 30-40 miles of AT&T dead zone, and that dead zone includes two county seats of about 10,000 people each.
 
2012-12-04 10:03:34 AM

generallyso: Next the telescreen television will shout at you for half-assing your exercise routine.


Then charge you more for Obamma Care insurance.
 
2012-12-04 10:04:05 AM

Vegan Meat Popsicle: BigDamn: Patent application != patent.

You seem to be confusing the way the patent office SHOULD work with the way the patent office DOES work. Why shouldn't this be a perfectly patentable idea?


No, he's right. This is a published patent application. It hasn't been examined yet, much less granted or issued.
 
2012-12-04 10:05:27 AM

Matthew Keene: I do not watch television. What about me?


Implant.
 
2012-12-04 10:05:37 AM

MightyPez: More and more reason I'm feeling better about cutting the chord. I don't particularly enjoy the prospect of paying Verizon (or Comcast, or charter, et al) for the privilege of selling me.


How are you going to play Silver Bells on your piano this year?
 
2012-12-04 10:07:21 AM

KarmicDisaster: There was WIMAX but the tower caught fire and they aren't replacing it plus I would need a tower with a gain antenna to pick it up.


Do you have any suggestions on how I can increase my cell reception? Some days it is fine, others I can't get a signal. I have been looking into getting an antenna hardwired with one of those "access points" (so, the antenna is outside, the access point is on my ceiling) but I still get the same signal on my roof as I do in the house it seems, so that won't work.
 
2012-12-04 10:07:36 AM

cookiefleck: THX 1138: 1. Put laptop near set-top box.

2. Stream endless porn with volume up.

3. Profit.

You'd get tons of ads from Trojan brand condoms, birth control for women and viagra.


No, more like cougarlife and ashleymadison.
 
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