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(Yahoo)   Altria Healthcare Corp. pissed at Philip Morris name change   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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4242 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Nov 2001 at 6:21 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

37 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-11-21 06:25:42 PM  
Ok, so what is the big deal with that name? Does it mean something special?
2001-11-21 06:26:26 PM  
Stop your crying!!
2001-11-21 06:28:43 PM  
Altria comes from "altus" the Latin word for "high"
2001-11-21 06:29:15 PM  
Smedley said that would present ``kind of a challenge when we're in health care and we're working directly with physicians and hospitals and health care organizations, whose primary goal is to improve people's heath.''

Yeah, no kidding. Imagine having the world's biggest mass-murder having the same name as your company, which is trying to help people live.
2001-11-21 06:29:39 PM  
Healthcare and tobacco go together like AA and Jack Daniels. It's a match made in heaven.
2001-11-21 06:30:51 PM  
Origin of the name "Altria:"
2001-11-21 06:31:49 PM  
Damn! Behind me, Saton!
2001-11-21 06:32:12 PM  
It is not a healthcare organization. Read the article...It is a billing company.
"Altria provides billing, data management and other services to medical practices"
2001-11-21 06:33:38 PM  
I'm just wondering what kind of business this guy has if he hadn't already secured
2001-11-21 06:36:46 PM  
Actually, Altria comes from "altrix, altricis", which, according to my Oxford dictionary means "female nourisher"; I take this to mean "whore". Now, you know the truth! Spread the word!
2001-11-21 06:38:48 PM  
ALTRIA: After Life There Really Isn't Anything (so smoke while you're alive)

- I don't condone the use of tobacco products, I think it's disgusting -
2001-11-21 06:41:46 PM  
Did you notice that the Phillip Morris (Altria) spokeman's name is Geoffrey C. Bible?

How long before God sues them?
2001-11-21 06:41:53 PM  
Afree87: Let me get this right? So you are saying it means "A fag making whore"
2001-11-21 06:50:18 PM  
Holy jumpin' Jesus! Things are all farked up! Bad kitty!!!!
Somethin' Ain't Right Here...
Another company already has this login name, change your choice of login. Can't have two of you varmints runnin' round.
2001-11-21 06:52:14 PM  
Saton: Well, given the word implies "female", I don't see how it could make people gay, but you've got the whore part right. ;)
2001-11-21 06:52:42 PM  
Warren Smedley? Man, his mom must've hated him.

I don't really have anything to say about the whole "health care company" vs "tobacco company" thing. They'll fight over it. It'll go to court. Phillip Morris will win because they are farking huge and have lawyers and ninja assassins... and stuff. Millions of dollars will be blown on both sides over what...?


What the fark kind of name is that?


2001-11-21 06:55:37 PM  
In view of this they should try another name like Aschcroft. Something tells me they won't get much flack on this one.
2001-11-21 07:01:48 PM  
Afree: are you a farking retard? fag=cigarrette
2001-11-21 07:01:51 PM  
If they named themselves Ashcroft they would not be improving their image, which I think is the whole point.
2001-11-21 07:02:57 PM  
ten pesos says Phillip Morris lawyers kick Altria's lawyers new anal orafices in court.
2001-11-21 07:20:07 PM  
Phillip Morris, which hopes to soon be known by Altria, is a well diversified company. Making Kraft products, Miller beers, numerous cigarette brands, and Oreos by their own Nabisco. The bloke in Alabama should have registered his company's brand name in the USA. He's already protected in Alabama via intrastate commerce laws which could slip a knot in PM's plans in all but 49 states but they could not get any leniency in Alabama. He was first and used it in commerce before PM tried it. If the Alabama Altria is doing business outside Alabama, they can claim interstate commerce and demand that PM drop their idea or sell it's brand to PM for HUGE $$$$$$$. (Enough to put the company's owner on any nearby lake fishing for bass with a 300HP outboard attached to his hull and the trailer and SUV to pull it.) I'd suggest to the Alabama entrepreneur to sell the name, back off on the legal action and go for the big bux from the publicly traded PM companies. At least ask for a seven figure amount...and that's just the first year. By year five he should give them title and that's after a half million per year since the first year. It'll easily pay for the name-change costs including stationery, biz cards, and other misc. expenses. But he won't care after the 5 year period as he'll be set for life. BTW...I think the name Altria for PM is stupid but since they want it, they should pay the big bux for this name. Or go back to the drawing/naming board. My suggestion if they decide to change from Altria is: Oreosslidedownwithliteandamarlborosaftercookingmacaroniandcheeseinthem​icrowave .(


But the guy in 'bama could get a huge windfall if he relinquishes the name. HUGE!!!! (Like he can retire now, HUGE!!!!)
2001-11-21 08:03:39 PM  
Phill Morris bought the domain off me for $1 million :) - thank god for securing such stupid domain names - it has definitely paid off!
2001-11-21 08:06:37 PM  
I, for one, am outraged by Warren's use of "Smedley". It sounds too much like Smeggley. Oh, would I have teased him and chased him with sharp sticks in grade school..
2001-11-21 08:10:30 PM  
i am hereby registereing the name fark.... ill sell it to ya... 10 bucks.
2001-11-21 08:32:13 PM  
If Mr. Smedley had half a brain, he'd realize the marketing opportunities...
Altria Corp. - Your one stop health source
Altria Corp. - From cradle to grave

you get the idea...
2001-11-21 09:07:58 PM  
These guys at Philip Morris just can't do anything right can they?....except of course sell death and buy cookie companies to polish their image. I like Mad Charlies acronym for ALTRIA.... it really, truly fits the tobacco companies attitudes towards it's customers. I don't buy their cookies either, the bastards!
2001-11-21 09:12:32 PM  
Just a curiosity here... If Altria (the Healthcare thingy) sues PM for copyright infringement... either for the domain OR in general....isnt this gonna get interesting..?

MPAA - Copyright is REALLY REALLY important

PM - UNLESS a big company wants it from someone else!

It bears some serious thought for implications in the future, at least I think so.

Just my opinion
2001-11-21 09:26:36 PM  
Yeah, thats what i was wondering - isn't there something stopping them from taking a name that's already taken, or does that only kick in when a company reaches a certain size? I thought everything you created was copyrighted, because it's yours etc...
2001-11-21 09:41:59 PM  
Katnine: this is how it works:

pay fee for patent.
giant corp. comes up with same idea/steals yours and pays patent clerks kick back to look the other way (or shred documents).
$$$$$ for giant corp.
2001-11-21 09:43:04 PM  
PM has already attached their "I am death, stay away" image to the name anyhow, so...
2001-11-21 09:49:11 PM  
This is classic David vs Goliath, only Goliath likes to smoke six packs a day.
2001-11-21 10:52:51 PM  
Don't you guys need to register business names over there?
2001-11-21 10:53:33 PM  
"Warren Smedley had just returned home from a business trip"

Don't BS me man, just admit that you were off with a couple of Chinese hookers, smoking crack, and giving head to goats. OK
2001-11-21 11:15:00 PM  
Ok, am I the first one to mention that this tag should be 'IRONIC'?
2001-11-21 11:22:13 PM  
Altria: got cancer?
2001-11-21 11:36:11 PM  
Rapier: This isn't a copyright issue, it's more of a trademark thing.
2001-11-22 02:09:19 AM  
Philip Morris Companies Inc. announced ... it has already secured the Web site,

Farking cybersquatter.
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