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(Patch)   Explain this to your kid: Santa can fly around the world in an open sleigh and jump down chimneys, but it is not safe for him to ride on top of a firetruck in a parade   (hampton-northhampton.patch.com) divider line 69
    More: Unlikely, ladder trucks, marine transfer operations, Mrs. Claus, National Fire Protection Association, parades, Safety First  
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3051 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2012 at 4:10 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-03 05:24:59 PM  
send those Hampton kids over to Action Park country. Santa will not only be on the fire truck, he'll be reeking of Santa fluid and tossing candy canes and what-not to all the girls and boys.

/keepin' it real in Action Park country
//ho ho ho, motherfarkers
 
2012-12-03 05:28:26 PM  
he did in the parade in my town. So did the local HS cheerleading squads
 
2012-12-03 05:31:13 PM  

tbhouston: or how about you don't lie to your kids?


Came here to say this.

My parents sold me the Santa myth at the same time they were telling me about God and Jesus, so in my little mind they were all entwined together - the invisible guy watching over you to make sure you're nice and not naughty, celebrating Jesus' birthday. So when I found out that the two people I trusted most in the world had lied to me year after year about one invisible sky fairy (and trust me, it was devastating to learn the truth), I automatically assumed they had lied about a lot of other things too. God being one of them. I never trusted authority after that. They lie.
 
2012-12-03 05:37:14 PM  
The Santa that rides my local VFD's truck wears safety straps. Never been an issue.
 
2012-12-03 05:55:56 PM  

Punk Rock Hippie: tbhouston: or how about you don't lie to your kids?

Came here to say this.

My parents sold me the Santa myth at the same time they were telling me about God and Jesus, so in my little mind they were all entwined together - the invisible guy watching over you to make sure you're nice and not naughty, celebrating Jesus' birthday. So when I found out that the two people I trusted most in the world had lied to me year after year about one invisible sky fairy (and trust me, it was devastating to learn the truth), I automatically assumed they had lied about a lot of other things too. God being one of them. I never trusted authority after that. They lie.


I never really understood people who stopped believing in Santa but continued believing in other myths. How do you not figure out that they're essentially the same thing at the same time?
 
2012-12-03 05:59:04 PM  
Psh they look safe inside that railing, fark National Fire Protection Agency Guideline 1500. In our town the whole varsity football team sits on top of one of the ladder trucks for the homecoming parade.
 
2012-12-03 06:01:51 PM  
Easy: the real Santa is a sparkly vampire.
 
2012-12-03 06:09:31 PM  
Explain this to kids, if Santa has a sleigh why the fark is he being flown to the trauma center after falling off the fire truck head first and suffering massive head trauma...
 
2012-12-03 06:15:53 PM  
Santa is really someone else...his name is scrambled!!
 
2012-12-03 06:22:55 PM  

AdolfOliverPanties: MaudlinMutantMollusk: gopher321: It would be more symbolic if Santa came in riding a huge cash register anyway.

On Dollar! On Ruble! On Euro and Drachma! On Peso! On Ruble! On Yen and Taka!

Two reindeer named "ruble," otherwise, that's pretty good.


They were named by the Hamburgler.
 
2012-12-03 06:58:04 PM  
Santa's magic only works on xmas eve, next stupid question.
 
2012-12-03 08:19:26 PM  
There are no stupid questions, but some of the answers are pretty retarded.
 
2012-12-03 08:39:21 PM  

I_Am_Weasel: Well, yes.

This is because just prior to Mr. Claus leaving on Christmas eve an elf is sacrificed in sort of a santanic ritual..


What a Santanic ritual might sound like black magic woman
 
2012-12-03 10:09:52 PM  

tbhouston: or how about you don't lie to your kids?


Bah, everyone lies to their kids. When they start to see through the Santa lie you know it's also time to stop telling them that if you leave your clothes on the floor it attracts monsters or that those noises were just mommy and daddy cleaning their bedroom extra hard.
 
2012-12-03 11:13:58 PM  
guess that Macy's wont have any riders in the parade next year either?

How about the Chief gets his head outta his ass, digs into the technical gear bag and puts a couple of those climbing harnesses on the Clauses and straps their asses to a railing? (thus preventing a fall similar to Macy's parade riders)

Problem solved ya lame, lazy bastard. lets hope nothing out of the ordinary happens on your watch. I'd hate to be a victim of a tragedy that requires creative thinking in your area. Id be a dead man while you consult your textbook and tell your men (and women) that there is nothing they can do to save me because the book sez so...
 
2012-12-03 11:19:12 PM  
Deputy Fire Chief Jamie Ayotte said he expressed concerns earlier this week to Chief Chris Silver that Hampton's past practice of allowing Santa and Mrs. Claus to ride outside the truck

So Jamie just got finished reading the new manual and decides to go to the chief? It sounds like everyone had turned a blind eye to the infraction for the sake of tradition then deputy Jamie says something to chief which removed plausible deniability. Good luck living that down, Jamie.
 
2012-12-04 02:22:56 AM  

CheekyMonkey: Why does Santa need to ride on a fire truck, anyways? What's wrong with that fat fark riding in his sleigh, pulled by those mincing little homo reindeers?


Jesus, man...did Santa cornhole your mom or something?
 
2012-12-04 02:50:10 AM  
Easy... don't lie to your children and promote their misguided belief in a fictional character.

/ I have 3 kids that never believed in Santa
// Also an Atheist
 
2012-12-04 03:09:20 AM  
Ten to one this is nothing to do with safety, but with the damnable insurance industry.
 
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