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(Daily Dot)   "I'm a WICKED nice guy," reads the Facebook bio of a guy who just murdered his online date   (dailydot.com ) divider line
    More: Sick, Facebook, Steve Fabi, Saginaw, dark humor, dating site  
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20636 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2012 at 3:03 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



174 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2012-12-03 01:53:46 PM  
Delete the "nice" and you've got it right.
 
2012-12-03 02:00:18 PM  
I don't see how any of that counts as Dark Humor, in fact his profile seems so normal that he may have copied it from other people.
 
2012-12-03 02:03:56 PM  
Man who murdered online date had 900 Facebook friends
[...]
If police had taken Fabi's Facebook activity literally, would Leigh Swanson still be alive?

Really, journalism? Really?
 
2012-12-03 02:17:12 PM  

Relatively Obscure: Really, journalism? Really?


Hey, maybe as a journalist you can attempt to answer the question you riased. No? Okay, carry on.
 
2012-12-03 02:31:55 PM  
FTFA:"Lets see, my name is Steve, I'm a pretty retarded dude."

Ayup.
 
2012-12-03 02:36:05 PM  
OK:

1) I'm a pretty retarded dude. I don't know what to say about myself. I'm a WICKED nice guy (to most people) and like to go out and have fun (sometimes a little too much - and I've got the bruises to prove it), then I wake up, laugh it off and do it all over again. I love hanging out with my friends and doing what ever won't get us arrested (well, most of the time).

If you're thought is, "This guy sounds fun to date, you're retarded.

2) Man who murdered online date had 900 Facebook friends

Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.
 
2012-12-03 02:56:33 PM  

Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.


Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.
 
2012-12-03 03:02:36 PM  
Not to sound insensitive,but there's nothing overtly ominous about those posts. Just sounds like a raucous,albeit sllow-witted, frat boy.
 
2012-12-03 03:06:52 PM  
DNRTFA but...

..did he use email bombs, or stab her with a profile hack?
I mean, how do you really "kill" an internet date? Unplug the router?
 
2012-12-03 03:06:54 PM  

Zombie DJ: 2) Man who murdered online date had 900 Facebook friends

Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.


i wonder how many of his friends were minorities

i think thats relevant since he looks like a white guy
 
2012-12-03 03:08:27 PM  
45 and 30? Trashy.
 
2012-12-03 03:10:34 PM  
Seconded on the 'can see anything particularly worrying about the guys profile'. He doesn't sound like a serial killer. Hell, he doesn't even sound like a creep. He just sounds like a typical no commitments kind of guy, also a little bit reckless and stupid, who might take you out for a date and then never call you again.

I've seen way, way worse on dating profiles.
 
2012-12-03 03:10:41 PM  

vartian: Relatively Obscure: Really, journalism? Really?

Hey, maybe as a journalist you can attempt to answer the question you riased. No? Okay, carry on.


Did they REALLY attempt to answer the very question they posed?? We'll find out, at 11:00.
 
2012-12-03 03:11:09 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.


You're not marketing yourself properly. Steal a picture of some good-looking bad-boy type, put on your bio that you're in jail for the most terrible things imaginable, and I bet you'll make lots of friends.

u r so hawt we shuld totes get 2gether after u get out just dont kill me LOL
 
2012-12-03 03:11:54 PM  
Can we tie this to the Jovan murder-suicide and have more gun blame?
 
2012-12-03 03:13:27 PM  
cdn0.dailydot.com

Why the long face?
 
2012-12-03 03:13:43 PM  
900 FB friends? How many real life friends?

I always put " I wont fark your best friend after we break up to reassure the ladies"
 
2012-12-03 03:15:09 PM  
Thank goodness I only have like 75 friends... I must be completely sane.
 
2012-12-03 03:16:37 PM  
45 year old lady hanging out with a 30 year old simpleton. (shrugs) You get what you get...
 
2012-12-03 03:16:54 PM  

Mega Steve: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You're not marketing yourself properly. Steal a picture of some good-looking bad-boy type, put on your bio that you're in jail for the most terrible things imaginable, and I bet you'll make lots of friends.

u r so hawt we shuld totes get 2gether after u get out just dont kill me LOL


aka the retarded females that follow Chris Brown on Twitter and say things like "he can beat me anytime"...or Rhianna herself.

/hates that Firefox spell check has celebrity names in it
 
2012-12-03 03:17:29 PM  
This is a pretty stupid contextual trick, really. If Mary Poppins killed her e-date, she would also, in retrospect, have a Facebook profile that reads like something by Attila the Hun.
 
2012-12-03 03:19:20 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [cdn0.dailydot.com image 270x200]

Why the long face?


Am I the only one/?!?!??!


www.asphaltandrubber.com
 
2012-12-03 03:22:28 PM  

Apos: Not to sound insensitive,but there's nothing overtly ominous about those posts. Just sounds like a raucous,albeit sllow-witted, frat boy.


This. Nothing out of the ordinary here-- reads like the typical, random, uncompelling facebook spew that trickles down my newsfeed.

In other (depressing) news, people on the edge tend to camouflage the extent of their instability exceedingly well. More at 11
 
2012-12-03 03:22:50 PM  
?
www.kentuckycenter.org
 
2012-12-03 03:25:46 PM  

rushthatspeaks: 45 and 30? Trashy.


Desperate is more like it. Desperate and now dead. The FA is not very detailed, but it sounds like she broke the first rule of on-line dating. First couple of dates: meet in a public place, let everyone know where you will be, and time-limit the date. Never, ever go home with a man on a first date!
 
2012-12-03 03:27:22 PM  

imtheonlylp: DNRTFA but...

..did he use email bombs, or stab her with a profile hack?
I mean, how do you really "kill" an internet date? Unplug the router?


[picker setMinimumDate: [NSDate date]];
 
2012-12-03 03:28:32 PM  
".But I don't want to go among mad people,' Alice remarked. ..Oh, you can't help that,' said the Cat: ..We're ALL mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.' ..How do you know I'm mad?' said Alice. ..You MUST be,' said the Cat, ..or you wouldn't have come here.'

I trust that the writer of this article realizes that this is actually a Lewis Carroll quote and not actually a sign of imminent mental collapse (at least, I sure hope not, since it's been my email sig for about eight years now).

Unfortunately, if those are the best quotes they can come up with from the guy's page, all this demonstrates is that some things can't be predicted or prevented by looking at someone's Facebook.
 
2012-12-03 03:28:43 PM  

JackieRabbit: rushthatspeaks: 45 and 30? Trashy.

Desperate is more like it. Desperate and now dead. The FA is not very detailed, but it sounds like she broke the first rule of on-line dating. First couple of dates: meet in a public place, let everyone know where you will be, and time-limit the date. Never, ever go home with a man on a first date!


Hey hey hey!! You pipe down or you will ruin it for the rest of us serial killers missy.
 
2012-12-03 03:28:47 PM  
Sad, just two lonely souls. She's looking for someone to love and he was just looking for a mate that loves Limp Bizquit the way he does.
 
2012-12-03 03:32:12 PM  
Not all "Steves" are like this. Don't go all being judgemental.
 
2012-12-03 03:32:39 PM  
AposNot to sound insensitive,but there's nothing overtly ominous about those posts. Just sounds like a raucous,albeit sllow-witted, frat boy.

Exactly. His stuff, as posted in the article, comes across as hyperbolic nonsense, with maybe a fascination on things of a dark nature. Doesn't necessarily mean he's a psycho waiting to rampage. Haven't people learned that things posted on the internet aren't necessarily true?

Sounds like he freaked out when the girl's parents called, and did himself in. Shame, because if he did kill her, it would have been nice to lock him in jail. Or, find out what happened to her, even if it was accidental. Now the family has little closure and no recourse.
 
2012-12-03 03:32:45 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [cdn0.dailydot.com image 270x200]

Why the long face?


She just had a chat with a three-nippled woman, the news was not good.

www.sugarandspikesrocks.com
 
2012-12-03 03:35:21 PM  
Don't let crazy stick its dick in you
 
2012-12-03 03:36:35 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: AposNot to sound insensitive,but there's nothing overtly ominous about those posts. Just sounds like a raucous,albeit sllow-witted, frat boy.

Exactly. His stuff, as posted in the article, comes across as hyperbolic nonsense, with maybe a fascination on things of a dark nature. Doesn't necessarily mean he's a psycho waiting to rampage. Haven't people learned that things posted on the internet aren't necessarily true?

Sounds like he freaked out when the girl's parents called, and did himself in. Shame, because if he did kill her, it would have been nice to lock him in jail. Or, find out what happened to her, even if it was accidental. Now the family has little closure and no recourse.


Maybe when he killed himself he screwed up and suffered for hours. Theres always that.
 
GBB
2012-12-03 03:37:54 PM  
I guess they can add "Murdered online date" and "Committed Suicide" to his Timeline.
 
2012-12-03 03:37:58 PM  
Where did they get that his profile was full of dark humor? None of that seemed dark to me, in fact it looked quite normal. Those last three quotes they had in the article were all taken from tv shows and movies.
 
2012-12-03 03:38:14 PM  
Roy: "'Shut up! Do what I tell you! I'm not interested!' These are just some of the things you'll be hearing if you answer this ad. I'm an idiot and I don't care about anyone but myself. P.S. No dogs!"
Moss: That's good.
Roy: What's yours?
Moss: Mine doesn't look any good now.
Roy: Go on.
Moss: "I'm going to murder you! You bloody woman!"
Roy: You might want to play a bit hard to get.
 
2012-12-03 03:39:27 PM  

ReapTheChaos: Where did they get that his profile was full of dark humor? None of that seemed dark to me, in fact it looked quite normal. Those last three quotes they had in the article were all taken from tv shows and movies.


That just shows how dark you really are.
 
2012-12-03 03:39:41 PM  

imtheonlylp


DNRTFA but...

..did he use email bombs, or stab her with a profile hack?
I mean, how do you really "kill" an internet date? Unplug the router?


del *.jpg


rm *.jpg
 
2012-12-03 03:40:01 PM  
Let me 'splain:
1. I thought 'wicked' was only used around here (Boston)

2. Having 900 Facebook friends is desperate narcissism

3. He killed her because they were going to have sex and he found her penis.
 
2012-12-03 03:40:35 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.


You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.
 
2012-12-03 03:40:45 PM  

LeroyBourne: Sad, just two lonely souls. She's looking for someone to love and he was just looking for a mate that loves Limp Bizquit the way he does.


Spell Bizkit right or I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FARKING FACE!!!!!1!!!1!! HULK SMASHHH!!!
 
2012-12-03 03:40:54 PM  
Sounds like a typical Chowd. "I'm pretty retaaahhded"
 
2012-12-03 03:42:36 PM  

SuperNinjaToad: imtheonlylp: DNRTFA but...

..did he use email bombs, or stab her with a profile hack?
I mean, how do you really "kill" an internet date? Unplug the router?

[picker setMinimumDate: [NSDate date]];


DateTime dt = new DateTime("666");
 
2012-12-03 03:42:49 PM  

MBooda: ?
[www.kentuckycenter.org image 427x640]


Kristin Chenoweth made a better Galinda.
 
2012-12-03 03:43:42 PM  

Apos: Not to sound insensitive,but there's nothing overtly ominous about those posts. Just sounds like a raucous,albeit sllow-witted, frat boy.


That's the warning sign, right there.
 
2012-12-03 03:44:18 PM  
That was just a typo. He's not a "WICKED-nice guy, he's a "WICKED, nice guy".

i154.photobucket.com

See.
 
2012-12-03 03:44:33 PM  

Bacontastesgood: LeroyBourne: Sad, just two lonely souls. She's looking for someone to love and he was just looking for a mate that loves Limp Bizquit the way he does.

Spell Bizkit right or I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FARKING FACE!!!!!1!!!1!! HULK SMASHHH!!!


www.spaceg.com
 
2012-12-03 03:45:39 PM  
guys, you know what's the best? Shrimp.
 
2012-12-03 03:46:53 PM  

zerkalo: Don't let crazy stick its dick knife in you

 
2012-12-03 03:47:02 PM  
I get the feeling his Facebook profile wasn't really his worst attribute...
 
2012-12-03 03:47:41 PM  
i.imgur.com

Home is where the homicide is.
 
2012-12-03 03:49:12 PM  
I bet he only got the date because he hid his creepiness. Nice going Blake Eastman.
 
2012-12-03 03:51:37 PM  
Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.
 
2012-12-03 03:52:36 PM  

Bacontastesgood: LeroyBourne: Sad, just two lonely souls. She's looking for someone to love and he was just looking for a mate that loves Limp Bizquit the way he does.

Spell Bizkit right or I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FARKING FACE!!!!!1!!!1!! HULK SMASHHH!!!


But will you skin his ass raw? Because I think that might be the tipping point.
 
2012-12-03 03:55:01 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.


If we factor that in the case and the headline read: Frequenter of Fark.com Goes on Murderous Rampage, it would become a matter of but-of-course.

/party lifestyle... snert.
 
2012-12-03 03:55:50 PM  

thisiszombocom: Bacontastesgood: LeroyBourne: Sad, just two lonely souls. She's looking for someone to love and he was just looking for a mate that loves Limp Bizquit the way he does.

Spell Bizkit right or I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FARKING FACE!!!!!1!!!1!! HULK SMASHHH!!!

[www.spaceg.com image 593x479]


limp bisquick
farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2012-12-03 03:56:30 PM  
imtheonlylp: DNRTFA but...

..did he use email bombs, or stab her with a profile hack?
I mean, how do you really "kill" an internet date? Unplug the router?

www.fiftythree.org


Next question.
 
2012-12-03 03:58:59 PM  

imtheonlylp: DNRTFA but...

..did he use email bombs, or stab her with a profile hack?
I mean, how do you really "kill" an internet date? Unplug the router?


Use the "Internet cable" as a garrotte
 
2012-12-03 03:59:10 PM  

Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.


Do you mean if they self-describe as nice spontaneously, or in answer to a yes-or-no question? Because if you ask somebody "Are you nice?" the vast majority of people will say yes, simply because the alternative would imply that they are mean or cruel.
 
2012-12-03 04:00:02 PM  

occamswrist: Not all "Steves" are like this. Don't go all being judgemental.


THIS. I'm crazy, but not in a dangerous way

/Love me?
//LOVE ME!!!
 
2012-12-03 04:00:14 PM  
Old and busted: He seemed like such a nice guy, said neighbors.
New hottness: He had over XXX facebook friends.
 
2012-12-03 04:00:24 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.

If we factor that in the case and the headline read: Frequenter of Fark.com Goes on Murderous Rampage, it would become a matter of but-of-course.

/party lifestyle... snert.


It would be best to become a notorious AW first and really build up popularity among the disreputable.
 
2012-12-03 04:06:32 PM  

HMS_Blinkin: Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.

Do you mean if they self-describe as nice spontaneously, or in answer to a yes-or-no question? Because if you ask somebody "Are you nice?" the vast majority of people will say yes, simply because the alternative would imply that they are mean or cruel.


As in when asked to describe themselves, they say "I'm a nice guy."

Or that's the first thing in their "about me."

I've done a bit of internet dating in my day, and anyone who uses that phrase seems to have some really serious issues - like blaming the entire female sex on their personal dating failures.
 
2012-12-03 04:06:40 PM  

Bacontastesgood: LeroyBourne: Sad, just two lonely souls. She's looking for someone to love and he was just looking for a mate that loves Limp Bizquit the way he does.

Spell Bizkit right or I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR FARKING FACE!!!!!1!!!1!! HULK SMASHHH!!!


I knew it wasn't spelled right, I didn't feel it necessary to waste valuable seconds looking up the correct spelling.
/chill out and shove that cookie up your arse up your arse!!!
 
2012-12-03 04:08:27 PM  
www.social-searcher.com
 
2012-12-03 04:09:23 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.

If we factor that in the case and the headline read: Frequenter of Fark.com Goes on Murderous Rampage, it would become a matter of but-of-course.

/party lifestyle... snert.

It would be best to become a notorious AW first and really build up popularity among the disreputable.


I for one, have found the lack around here rather pleasant and am not eagerly awaiting a newly-grown head to fill the missing niche.
 
2012-12-03 04:10:10 PM  
Perhaps it's too obvious to mention on a site as sophisticated as Fark, but I continue to find these types of statements infuriating:

FTA: "While other questions-like why it took police a full seven days after Swanson went missing to try talking to Fabi in person-could be asked about the case, news reports thus far have focused on the fact that...."
 
2012-12-03 04:10:17 PM  
Hey, maybe he played football and we can blame it on concussions then make him out to be the victim
 
2012-12-03 04:12:14 PM  

Joe Blowme: Hey, maybe he played football and we can blame it on concussions then make him out to be the victim


Oh, I'm fairly certain that at least his family has already started this. It is par for the course, don'chaknow?
 
2012-12-03 04:15:06 PM  
And you Farkers are always complaining that "nice guys" can never get a date...
 
2012-12-03 04:16:44 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.


stop taking the 'Am I a Homicidal/Suicidal Maniac?' quizzes
 
2012-12-03 04:18:24 PM  

Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.


Similarly, anyone who claims to be intellectual is usually dumber than rocks.
 
2012-12-03 04:18:33 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.

If we factor that in the case and the headline read: Frequenter of Fark.com Goes on Murderous Rampage, it would become a matter of but-of-course.

/party lifestyle... snert.

It would be best to become a notorious AW first and really build up popularity among the disreputable.

I for one, have found the lack around here rather pleasant and am not eagerly awaiting a newly-grown head to fill the missing niche.


They never stick around.
 
2012-12-03 04:23:31 PM  

Ebenator: Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.

Similarly, anyone who claims to be intellectual is usually dumber than rocks.


That explains the FARK gravel pit
 
2012-12-03 04:23:54 PM  

Ebenator: Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.

Similarly, anyone who claims to be intellectual is usually dumber than rocks.


Agrees.
images.wolfgangsvault.com
 
2012-12-03 04:28:25 PM  
As an actual journalist, I object to any reference to someone who writes for The Daily Dot as a "journalist."
 
2012-12-03 04:31:19 PM  
Whatever the Daily Dot is, I won't be going there ever again. That article was like one long concern troll screech.

But while I'm here - a man who wears his baseball cap backwards and writes things like this:

Lets see, my name is Steve, I'm a pretty retarded dude. I don't know what to say about myself. I'm a WICKED nice guy (to most people) and like to go out and have fun (sometimes a little too much - and I've got the bruises to prove it), then I wake up, laugh it off and do it all over again. I love hanging out with my friends and doing what ever won't get us arrested (well, most of the time). I love movies, stand-up comedians, all kinds of good stuff... I like things that are cool and people that are cool. You'd like me, hell, everyone else does! (Hah. yeah right)

was dating. Meaning there are women out there desperate enough to go for that. Well, that's what poor judgment gets you. If you're lucky, you just realize he's a stunted man-child and possibly retarded after the first date. If you're unlucky, you end up dead.
 
2012-12-03 04:34:43 PM  

Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.


To all the guys who ask, "Why don't girls like nice guys?":

This is why.
 
2012-12-03 04:40:33 PM  
The way the article was written I get this image of some 75yr old retired woman in middle American reading it whilst knitting a scarf for her grand daughter and thinking "OH MY he's obviously not a god fearing man. What woman would date a man that would say such awful things?"
 
2012-12-03 04:44:52 PM  
He said he's a wicked nice guy to most people.
 
2012-12-03 04:44:54 PM  
Never meet anyone from "the internet" - they are all liars.
Rather, meet people in person in a social setting, such as a bar, club, or party.
That way you can be sure the person is nothing but honest and forthright with you.
 
2012-12-03 04:44:58 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.

If we factor that in the case and the headline read: Frequenter of Fark.com Goes on Murderous Rampage, it would become a matter of but-of-course.

/party lifestyle... snert.

It would be best to become a notorious AW first and really build up popularity among the disreputable.

I for one, have found the lack around here rather pleasant and am not eagerly awaiting a newly-grown head to fill the missing niche.


*sigh* You're no fun.
 
2012-12-03 04:46:39 PM  

swahnhennessy: Meaning there are women out there desperate enough to go for that. Well, that's what poor judgment gets you. If you're lucky, you just realize he's a stunted man-child and possibly retarded after the first date. If you're unlucky, you end up dead.


The desperation stems from the overwhelming number of loser men.

At my work there's a guy in his 20's with a beard about a foot long, real scrawny, dark clothes, etc. He looks like a ZZ Top wannabe. I think women are desperate because most guys (myself excluded of course) are losers who don't take care of themselves.
 
2012-12-03 04:47:45 PM  

Shaggy0717: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.

stop taking the 'Am I a Homicidal/Suicidal Maniac?' quizzes


I didn't realize account creation was a quiz.
 
2012-12-03 04:50:20 PM  

UsikFark: Shaggy0717: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.

stop taking the 'Am I a Homicidal/Suicidal Maniac?' quizzes

I didn't realize account creation was a quiz.


Yeah, if the answer is "yes" you get a dark account.
 
2012-12-03 04:50:36 PM  

Zombie DJ: OK:

1) I'm a pretty retarded dude. I don't know what to say about myself. I'm a WICKED nice guy (to most people) and like to go out and have fun (sometimes a little too much - and I've got the bruises to prove it), then I wake up, laugh it off and do it all over again. I love hanging out with my friends and doing what ever won't get us arrested (well, most of the time).

If you're thought is, "This guy sounds fun to date, you're retarded.

2) Man who murdered online date had 900 Facebook friends

Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.


I just knew those turtles were bad news.
 
2012-12-03 04:51:39 PM  

occamswrist: swahnhennessy: Meaning there are women out there desperate enough to go for that. Well, that's what poor judgment gets you. If you're lucky, you just realize he's a stunted man-child and possibly retarded after the first date. If you're unlucky, you end up dead.

The desperation stems from the overwhelming number of loser men.

At my work there's a guy in his 20's with a beard about a foot long, real scrawny, dark clothes, etc. He looks like a ZZ Top wannabe. I think women are desperate because most guys (myself excluded of course) are losers who don't take care of themselves.


Hey, don't sell yourself short.
 
2012-12-03 04:51:56 PM  

ciberido: Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.

To all the guys who ask, "Why don't girls like nice guys?":

This is why.


Way to miss the point. Or to prove it.

Girls like GENUINELY nice guys just fine. It's the ones who pull the "OMG I'm a nice guy why don't girls like me" that always have major personal issues that make them undateable. You're not a nice guy just because you say you are. And guys who can only describe themselves as "nice" generally have nothing to offer except a weird expectation that they're entitled to a date for existing.
 
2012-12-03 04:58:29 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.


There's no way to win, especially with journalists who are all wannabe CSIs in their spare time. One guy is suspicious because he had "900 Facebook friends, clearly he is psychopathic and spends too much time online!" The next one will have three Facebook buds, and will "obviously be a suspicious loner who couldn't even connect via the anonymity of the Internet."

These guys know nothing; and even the experts are guessing half the time.
 
2012-12-03 05:01:37 PM  
Depressed Canadian woman loses health benefits because of Facebook photos showing her having fun.

This is why you should have NO Facebook friends.
 
2012-12-03 05:02:06 PM  
http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm
 
2012-12-03 05:02:28 PM  
 
2012-12-03 05:04:10 PM  

imtheonlylp: DNRTFA but...

..did he use email bombs, or stab her with a profile hack?
I mean, how do you really "kill" an internet date? Unplug the router?


kill -9 Date

Aisle seat, non smoking...I'll smoke when I get to hell...
 
2012-12-03 05:04:12 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: AposNot to sound insensitive,but there's nothing overtly ominous about those posts. Just sounds like a raucous,albeit sllow-witted, frat boy.

Exactly. His stuff, as posted in the article, comes across as hyperbolic nonsense, with maybe a fascination on things of a dark nature. Doesn't necessarily mean he's a psycho waiting to rampage. Haven't people learned that things posted on the internet aren't necessarily true?

Sounds like he freaked out when the girl's parents called, and did himself in. Shame, because if he did kill her, it would have been nice to lock him in jail. Or, find out what happened to her, even if it was accidental. Now the family has little closure and no recourse.


Um, no. This is the best outcome given he killed the woman:

1. He is off the streets
2. No lengthy, costly trial.
3. No lengthy, costly imprisionment.
4. No chance at parole.

Given the fact that he killed himself in the wake of the woman going missing, I'm gonna venture a guess he was involved somehow. The family knows the woman is dead. They can bury her with respect, instead of holding out hope someday she will break free from her captures and come walking through the door.
 
2012-12-03 05:06:05 PM  
Even I, someone with a 9 inch penis, $12 million dollars and has threesomes with supermodels, am shocked that someone would make up things about themselves online.

/please reply in the next 26 minutes since I have to get to the gym by then
 
2012-12-03 05:06:18 PM  
From another news article:

"According to Fabi's Facebook page, he was a graduate of Edsel Ford High School in Dearborn. On the day Swanson went missing, he updated his Facebook profile status to "single." Fabi was divorced with two young children who live in the Detroit Metro area. "

That's just cold.
 
2012-12-03 05:08:32 PM  
Way to ruin it for all of us non-murderous online daters, guy.
 
2012-12-03 05:10:12 PM  

Freudian_slipknot: ciberido: Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.

To all the guys who ask, "Why don't girls like nice guys?":

This is why.

Way to miss the point. Or to prove it.

Girls like GENUINELY nice guys just fine. It's the ones who pull the "OMG I'm a nice guy why don't girls like me" that always have major personal issues that make them undateable. You're not a nice guy just because you say you are. And guys who can only describe themselves as "nice" generally have nothing to offer except a weird expectation that they're entitled to a date for existing.


You and I have dated the same guys, I think.

Either that, or I have a unique data set to confirm your theory.
 
2012-12-03 05:10:20 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.

If we factor that in the case and the headline read: Frequenter of Fark.com Goes on Murderous Rampage, it would become a matter of but-of-course.

/party lifestyle... snert.

It would be best to become a notorious AW first and really build up popularity among the disreputable.

I for one, have found the lack around here rather pleasant and am not eagerly awaiting a newly-grown head to fill the missing niche.

*sigh* You're no fun.


lol
 
2012-12-03 05:15:40 PM  

Freudian_slipknot: ciberido: Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.

To all the guys who ask, "Why don't girls like nice guys?":

This is why.

Way to miss the point. Or to prove it.

Girls like GENUINELY nice guys just fine. It's the ones who pull the "OMG I'm a nice guy why don't girls like me" that always have major personal issues that make them undateable. You're not a nice guy just because you say you are.


I think we're actually saying the same thing. But if you want to go with "way to miss the point," fine, maybe that works for you.
 
2012-12-03 05:16:04 PM  
speedhero.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-03 05:17:41 PM  

Begoggle: Never meet anyone from "the internet" - they are all liars.


www.stinque.com

You say anyone from the Internet is a liar, but you are from the Internet, so you must be lying!
 
2012-12-03 05:22:41 PM  

Gyrfalcon: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

There's no way to win, especially with journalists who are all wannabe CSIs in their spare time. One guy is suspicious because he had "900 Facebook friends, clearly he is psychopathic and spends too much time online!" The next one will have three Facebook buds, and will "obviously be a suspicious loner who couldn't even connect via the anonymity of the Internet."

These guys know nothing; and even the experts are guessing half the time.


The author of the story has a degree in Journalism and a minor in Facebook. People write about what they know. Sometimes.
 
2012-12-03 05:27:09 PM  

Gyrfalcon: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

There's no way to win, especially with journalists who are all wannabe CSIs in their spare time. One guy is suspicious because he had "900 Facebook friends, clearly he is psychopathic and spends too much time online!" The next one will have three Facebook buds, and will "obviously be a suspicious loner who couldn't even connect via the anonymity of the Internet."

These guys know nothing; and even the experts are guessing half the time.


Exactly. "She didn't have a facebook page! Clearly anti-social!", "Her neighbors described her as quite, except when she had parties and blasted death metal; obviously satanically deranged!", "Sometimes she drank too much; decidedly self destructive!"

Heh heh, this is fun.
 
2012-12-03 05:30:14 PM  
you can't put anything on the internet that isn't true
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-03 05:33:45 PM  
You: 46 year old woman
Him: 30 year old man

You've never met before and he wants a date?

Be suspicious.
 
2012-12-03 05:35:15 PM  

ciberido: Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.

To all the guys who ask, "Why don't girls like nice guys?":

This is why.


It's my experience that 'nice' guys who don't get dates become misogynistic over time in a misplaced attempt to justify to themselves why they are unable to get a date. They blame women, rather than their own insecurities. They don't really start out as misogynist, but they have a simple view of women to begin with that stems from a lack of social interaction.
 
2012-12-03 05:36:28 PM  
Lets see, my name is Steve, I'm a pretty retarded dude. I don't know what to say about myself. I'm a WICKED nice guy (to most people) and like to go out and have fun (sometimes a little too much - and I've got the bruises to prove it), then I wake up, laugh it off and do it all over again. I love hanging out with my friends and doing what ever won't get us arrested (well, most of the time). I love movies, stand-up comedians, all kinds of good stuff... I like things that are cool and people that are cool. You'd like me, hell, everyone else does! (Hah. yeah right)



I don't want to make fun of the dead but this woman must had pretty bad judgment when it came to men. The above description hardly translates into an intelligent and attractive guy. It translates into "I'm an immature anti-social person who likes to get into fights and will commit crimes so long as I can get away with it." And the use of "I like things that are cool and people that are cool" is something a high schooler would write.

Hmm... I'll have to use that last line on "liking cool things and cool people" into my corporate bio background or resume.
 
2012-12-03 05:37:42 PM  

occamswrist: swahnhennessy: Meaning there are women out there desperate enough to go for that. Well, that's what poor judgment gets you. If you're lucky, you just realize he's a stunted man-child and possibly retarded after the first date. If you're unlucky, you end up dead.

The desperation stems from the overwhelming number of loser men.

At my work there's a guy in his 20's with a beard about a foot long, real scrawny, dark clothes, etc. He looks like a ZZ Top wannabe. I think women are desperate because most guys (myself excluded of course) are losers who don't take care of themselves.


just because you masturbate to excess and that keeps you trim, i think you're not seeing the big picture. your posts make it easy to see you're not the man you wish to be. but you keep enjoying that huge ego, good for you, confidence is an asset.
 
2012-12-03 05:38:44 PM  
So now we're expected to assess people's emotional/psychological stability by the stupid/boring/odd shiat they put on their Facebook page?

I'm gonna go ahead and save time by assuming that most people are stupid and boring, without going to the effort of reading their nonsensical ramblings on Facebook.
 
2012-12-03 05:48:43 PM  
CapeFearCadaver Exactly. "She didn't have a facebook page! Clearly anti-social!", "Her neighbors described her as quite, except when she had parties and blasted death metal; obviously satanically deranged!", "Sometimes she drank too much; decidedly self destructive!"

Stop spying on me!
 
2012-12-03 05:58:29 PM  

evilboyevil: ciberido: Freudian_slipknot: Any guy who self-describes as "nice" is 95% likely to be a misogynistic asshole.

There's no bigger red flag, in my experience.

To all the guys who ask, "Why don't girls like nice guys?":

This is why.

It's my experience that 'nice' guys who don't get dates become misogynistic over time in a misplaced attempt to justify to themselves why they are unable to get a date. They blame women, rather than their own insecurities. They don't really start out as misogynist, but they have a simple view of women to begin with that stems from a lack of social interaction.


Plus if one is a loser, but nice, they might forcus on their niceness instead of their stds, fetish, ugly face, or small bank account.

They would be unwanted by women despite being nice. If they end up misogynists (and I don't like using that word in this context - everyone has sex-based generalities in the dating war) it could well be because of how the women in their luves have treated them. There are a lot more variables at work here is all I am saying.

Even among non-dating relationships good looks get you better treatment. Why pretend an ugly nice guy isn't having his personality judged more harshly than a same personality person who is hot?

It doesn't help them that breaking up is hard and people lie about why.

/not hot, a little jaded, doesn't blame women, but I would still insist I'm nice if you asked.
 
2012-12-03 06:00:16 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: 2. Having 900 Facebook friends is desperate narcissism


Or you actually joined FB when it was a college-only site. The original idea wasn't to be a slightly sleazier version of OKCupid mixed with MySpace with some Craigslist thrown in, it was to be a tool to help you meet people from your classes, mostly for things like, y'know, getting notes from lectures you missed and so on.

Short version: people that got profiles in the first couple of years auto-friended everyone that they shared a class with. If you went to a public Uni you'd hit 900 easily before you graduated.

Even in the modern iteration, if you're something of a slacker and have had four or five jobs in as many years or moved a few times you've probably made enough casual acquaintances, neighbors, co-workers, etc to hit that number without being particularly overly social.
 
2012-12-03 06:01:40 PM  

KrispyKritter: occamswrist: swahnhennessy: Meaning there are women out there desperate enough to go for that. Well, that's what poor judgment gets you. If you're lucky, you just realize he's a stunted man-child and possibly retarded after the first date. If you're unlucky, you end up dead.

The desperation stems from the overwhelming number of loser men.

At my work there's a guy in his 20's with a beard about a foot long, real scrawny, dark clothes, etc. He looks like a ZZ Top wannabe. I think women are desperate because most guys (myself excluded of course) are losers who don't take care of themselves.

just because you masturbate to excess and that keeps you trim, i think you're not seeing the big picture. your posts make it easy to see you're not the man you wish to be. but you keep enjoying that huge ego, good for you, confidence is an asset.


I'm fit because I spend a few hours at the gym every week and watch what I eat.

If someone has candywrappers, beer cans, and other trash in their yard people will judge them for it. If someone wears old raggy clothes then people will judge them for it. If someone is overweight people will judge them for it.

I didn't make the rules, I'm just living by them and explaining them to farkers.

This shiat ain't rocket science and even though they probably didn't teach it in school, its still important.
 
2012-12-03 06:01:51 PM  

AcademGreen: [i.imgur.com image 497x512]

Home is where the homicide is.


I almost felt some nostalgia for Saginaw seeing that sign. Almost.
 
2012-12-03 06:04:28 PM  
I am sure he was attractive as a "bad dude". How could women not fall for this guy?

/It's a 2 fer Darwin award slam dunk!
 
2012-12-03 06:08:58 PM  

Duck_of_Doom: CapeFearCadaver Exactly. "She didn't have a facebook page! Clearly anti-social!", "Her neighbors described her as quite, except when she had parties and blasted death metal; obviously satanically deranged!", "Sometimes she drank too much; decidedly self destructive!"

Stop spying on me!


Are you hot? You have to be hot AND crazy around here.
 
2012-12-03 06:16:34 PM  
Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.
 
2012-12-03 06:16:45 PM  
"Murderer John Yates was convicted today, even though he had over 40 "Funny" and 60 "Smart" comments on Fark. He was also only on three ignore lists, his lawyer said."
 
2012-12-03 06:19:19 PM  

farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.



If you do, you know perfectly well this post will make it into the obit, and possibly collections of "Hilarious Final Words!!!" for the rest of time.
 
2012-12-03 06:20:18 PM  
His profile reads like the opposite of those image macros that start out looking like hideously racist / stereotypical statement at the top, but then is followed up at the bottom with a sentence that changes the context entirely to something positive.

I enjoy spending time outdoors

Image of Steve

disposing of my victim's body.
 
2012-12-03 06:22:21 PM  

farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.


Dibs on your stuff!!!
 
2012-12-03 06:24:00 PM  

Bungles: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.


If you do, you know perfectly well this post will make it into the obit, and possibly collections of "Hilarious Final Words!!!" for the rest of time.


Sp you're saying I'll be remembered for ever? And get some booty?

Sounds like a win-win
 
2012-12-03 06:24:53 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.

Dibs on your stuff!!!


I don't have any cool stuff. :-(

But you can have it
 
2012-12-03 06:29:45 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: Zombie DJ: Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.

Well shiat. If I decide to go on a murderous rampage I'll be held up to the fact that I have no online friends. Bummer.

You associate with a group of argumentative social outcasts with no stronger goal than to perpetuate a "party lifestyle" of drinking, sarcasm, and disruptive behavior. Any topic of trivial or paramount importance is viewed with cynicism or apathy by a group itself composed of sexual deviants, antisocial agitators, and an anti-capitalist proletariat.

If we factor that in the case and the headline read: Frequenter of Fark.com Goes on Murderous Rampage, it would become a matter of but-of-course.

/party lifestyle... snert.

It would be best to become a notorious AW first and really build up popularity among the disreputable.

I for one, have found the lack around here rather pleasant and am not eagerly awaiting a newly-grown head to fill the missing niche.

*sigh* You're no fun.

lol


ಠ_ಠ
 
2012-12-03 06:30:39 PM  

farkin_noob: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.

Dibs on your stuff!!!

I don't have any cool stuff. :-(

But you can have it


Dibs on your corpse. Please tell the guy to refrigirate it.
 
2012-12-03 06:34:50 PM  
I second the anti-"self described nice guys" sentiment. Mark ass tricks, all of them.
 
2012-12-03 06:35:08 PM  
Years I worked with a guy, Robert Knight Lavender, that was a bit of a odd duck. He was very monotone, we called him Mr. Roberto because he talked like a robot. One morning I answer the phone and, 25 years later I remember this word for word, this is what I hear; "This is Robert's mother, he won't be coming in today, he killed his girlfriend last night". Later we found he was the son of an Oklahoma Supreme Court justice. He got into an argument and picked her up and slammed her down. He got convicted of 2nd degree murder and received life. Served 11 years.
 
2012-12-03 06:38:00 PM  

groppet: farkin_noob: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.

Dibs on your stuff!!!

I don't have any cool stuff. :-(

But you can have it

Dibs on your corpse. Please tell the guy to refrigirate it.


Hahaha...will do
 
2012-12-03 06:38:00 PM  

NightOwl2255: Years I worked with a guy, Robert Knight Lavender, that was a bit of a odd duck. He was very monotone, we called him Mr. Roberto because he talked like a robot. One morning I answer the phone and, 25 years later I remember this word for word, this is what I hear; "This is Robert's mother, he won't be coming in today, he killed his girlfriend last night". Later we found he was the son of an Oklahoma Supreme Court justice. He got into an argument and picked her up and slammed her down. He got convicted of 2nd degree murder and received life. Served 11 years.


Honestly bro, one of the coolest stories I've heard on the internet!
 
2012-12-03 06:38:40 PM  

farkin_noob: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.

Dibs on your stuff!!!

I don't have any cool stuff. :-(

But you can have it


SCORE!

/seriously though, good luck tonight
 
2012-12-03 06:39:23 PM  

AcademGreen: [i.imgur.com image 497x512]

Home is where the homicide is.


The lady is from Saginaw Township, The murder was committed by someone way out by Sanford Lake. This has nothing to do with the east side thugs that keep the murder rate so high
 
2012-12-03 06:41:13 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.

Dibs on your stuff!!!

I don't have any cool stuff. :-(

But you can have it

SCORE!

/seriously though, good luck tonight


Thanks. :-)
 
2012-12-03 06:48:13 PM  

farkin_noob: Bungles: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.


If you do, you know perfectly well this post will make it into the obit, and possibly collections of "Hilarious Final Words!!!" for the rest of time.

Sp you're saying I'll be remembered for ever? And get some booty?

Sounds like a win-win


I virtually never do this, but I promise I'll be there to troll your death threads and article comments. It's the least I can do.
 
2012-12-03 06:50:39 PM  

farkin_noob: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.

Dibs on your stuff!!!

I don't have any cool stuff. :-(

But you can have it

SCORE!

/seriously though, good luck tonight

Thanks. :-)


If you start a date thread, I'll totally buy TF*

*for me
 
2012-12-03 06:52:12 PM  

Relatively Obscure: farkin_noob: Bungles: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.


If you do, you know perfectly well this post will make it into the obit, and possibly collections of "Hilarious Final Words!!!" for the rest of time.

Sp you're saying I'll be remembered for ever? And get some booty?

Sounds like a win-win

I virtually never do this, but I promise I'll be there to troll your death threads and article comments. It's the least I can do.


*sniff* That's the sweetest thing anybody has ever said.
 
2012-12-03 06:53:24 PM  

BummerDuck: I am sure he was attractive as a "bad dude". How could women not fall for this guy?

/It's a 2 fer Darwin award slam dunk!


gamecola.net
 
2012-12-03 06:54:30 PM  

UsikFark: farkin_noob: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Haha....last night I drunkenly invited a guy from the internets to dinner tonight. Hopefully, I don't get raped and murdered.

Dibs on your stuff!!!

I don't have any cool stuff. :-(

But you can have it

SCORE!

/seriously though, good luck tonight

Thanks. :-)

If you start a date thread, I'll totally buy TF*

*for me


Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.
 
2012-12-03 07:03:53 PM  

farkin_noob: Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.


Best five bucks I ever spent.
 
2012-12-03 07:09:37 PM  

JackieRabbit: rushthatspeaks: 45 and 30? Trashy.

Desperate is more like it. Desperate and now dead. The FA is not very detailed, but it sounds like she broke the first rule of on-line dating. First couple of dates: meet in a public place, let everyone know where you will be, and time-limit the date. Never, ever go home with a man on a first date!


Killjoy
 
2012-12-03 07:15:14 PM  

KrispyKritter: occamswrist: swahnhennessy: Meaning there are women out there desperate enough to go for that. Well, that's what poor judgment gets you. If you're lucky, you just realize he's a stunted man-child and possibly retarded after the first date. If you're unlucky, you end up dead.

The desperation stems from the overwhelming number of loser men.

At my work there's a guy in his 20's with a beard about a foot long, real scrawny, dark clothes, etc. He looks like a ZZ Top wannabe. I think women are desperate because most guys (myself excluded of course) are losers who don't take care of themselves.

just because you masturbate to excess and that keeps you trim, i think you're not seeing the big picture. your posts make it easy to see you're not the man you wish to be. but you keep enjoying that huge ego, good for you, confidence is an asset.


So, how long did it take you to grow a foot long beard? Just curious.
 
2012-12-03 07:54:58 PM  
She refused to speak into my recorder pen and I wanted to check my language.

//TF discussions last night
 
2012-12-03 08:40:41 PM  
She would be alive today if online dating was outlawed
 
2012-12-03 08:42:03 PM  

stirfrybry: She would be alive today if online dating was outlawed


Or if crazy people were outlawed. OUTLAW the CRAZIES!
 
2012-12-03 09:06:47 PM  
I see absolutely nothing telling from his Facebook page. They're just pulling shiat out their ass.
 
2012-12-03 09:11:51 PM  

NightOwl2255: Years I worked with a guy, Robert Knight Lavender, that was a bit of a odd duck. He was very monotone, we called him Mr. Roberto because he talked like a robot. One morning I answer the phone and, 25 years later I remember this word for word, this is what I hear; "This is Robert's mother, he won't be coming in today, he killed his girlfriend last night". Later we found he was the son of an Oklahoma Supreme Court justice. He got into an argument and picked her up and slammed her down. He got convicted of 2nd degree murder and received life. Served 11 years.


This is the woman who called you
She outlived her son.

This is a short note about the victim:
Mary Jane Taylor was born on 2 May 1957 at Oklahoma City, Oklahoma County, Oklahoma. She was the daughter of Tom G. Taylor Jr. and Margaret Rose Williams. Mary Jane Taylor was murdered 26 Oct 1983 by Robert Knight Lavender, son of State Supreme Court Justice and Mrs. Robert E. Lavender. She was buried on 28 October 1983 at Oklahoma City, Oklahoma County, Oklahoma.

You know, just in case you were wondering.
 
2012-12-03 09:16:15 PM  
This is why I'm not on Facebook. I'd have to describe myself, and before you know it, someone would be poking their nose where it doesn't belong in my basement crawlspace and commenting on that foul smell.
 
2012-12-03 09:21:29 PM  
Wicked? I figured he'd be from Southie.

sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-12-03 09:45:59 PM  

farkin_noob: Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.


Okay, where's the thread? Some poor smuck (;)) paid 5 bucks, and I'm waiting to see if I need to make room for more stuff.
 
2012-12-03 10:07:42 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Or you actually joined FB when it was a college-only site. The original idea wasn't to be a slightly sleazier version of OKCupid mixed with MySpace with some Craigslist thrown in, it was to be a tool to help you meet people from your classes, mostly for things like, y'know, getting notes from lectures you missed and so on.


Also to bone them though, don't downplay that.
 
2012-12-03 10:16:13 PM  
I never murder on a first date.
 
2012-12-03 10:17:23 PM  

mytdawg: imtheonlylp: DNRTFA but...

..did he use email bombs, or stab her with a profile hack?
I mean, how do you really "kill" an internet date? Unplug the router?

Use the "Internet cable" as a garrotte


I already had you Favorited as "biker, gay-friendly." Now I'm adding "creative killer."
 
2012-12-03 10:27:24 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.

Okay, where's the thread? Some poor smuck (;)) paid 5 bucks, and I'm waiting to see if I need to make room for more stuff.


You owe me big time, without me there wouldn't be a thread to wait for and we'd have to watch the news to find out.

And yeah, she's probably in the combination Faraday cage / Torture dungeon / Breakfast nook by now.
 
2012-12-03 10:28:09 PM  

Zombie DJ: If you're thought is, "This guy sounds fun to date, you're retarded.
2) Man who murdered online date had 900 Facebook friends
Is this really a thing now? If I commit a crime, it'll be entered as to how many online friends I have? Because my old MySpace page had all 4 Ninja Turtles and President Clinton.


If I commit a crime, the reporters won't be able to find out a thing about me, because I don't have any information on-line. I'll be some kind of strange, crazy loner, like the Unabomber.

/Nobody rat me out. Imagine if you killed someone, and a reporter got hold of all your Fark comments.
 
2012-12-03 10:36:05 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.

Okay, where's the thread? Some poor smuck (;)) paid 5 bucks, and I'm waiting to see if I need to make room for more stuff.

You owe me big time, without me there wouldn't be a thread to wait for and we'd have to watch the news to find out.

And yeah, she's probably in the combination Faraday cage / Torture dungeon / Breakfast nook by now.


True. If it weren't for you (and farkin_noob!), I'd be watching Futurama episodes on NetFlix.
 
2012-12-03 10:42:24 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.

Okay, where's the thread? Some poor smuck (;)) paid 5 bucks, and I'm waiting to see if I need to make room for more stuff.

You owe me big time, without me there wouldn't be a thread to wait for and we'd have to watch the news to find out.

And yeah, she's probably in the combination Faraday cage / Torture dungeon / Breakfast nook by now.

True. If it weren't for you (and farkin_noob!), I'd be watching Futurama episodes on NetFlix.


Fair weather fan, eh? I'm going to have to hunker down with a beer and see where this leads.
 
2012-12-03 10:49:48 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.

Okay, where's the thread? Some poor smuck (;)) paid 5 bucks, and I'm waiting to see if I need to make room for more stuff.

You owe me big time, without me there wouldn't be a thread to wait for and we'd have to watch the news to find out.

And yeah, she's probably in the combination Faraday cage / Torture dungeon / Breakfast nook by now.

True. If it weren't for you (and farkin_noob!), I'd be watching Futurama episodes on NetFlix.

Fair weather fan, eh? I'm going to have to hunker down with a beer and see where this leads.


Last season, don't have cable... And thinking I'm towards the end of my hunkering down for the night... about to pour my fifth.

If she doesn't come around before the end of this next one I'll say a little prayer: "Dear babby Jesus, please don't let farkin_noob become a skin-mask or lamp shade for her date from the internets. Thank you, Capie."
 
2012-12-03 11:10:15 PM  

Nana's Vibrator: NightOwl2255: Years I worked with a guy, Robert Knight Lavender, that was a bit of a odd duck. He was very monotone, we called him Mr. Roberto because he talked like a robot. One morning I answer the phone and, 25 years later I remember this word for word, this is what I hear; "This is Robert's mother, he won't be coming in today, he killed his girlfriend last night". Later we found he was the son of an Oklahoma Supreme Court justice. He got into an argument and picked her up and slammed her down. He got convicted of 2nd degree murder and received life. Served 11 years.

This is the woman who called you
She outlived her son.

This is a short note about the victim:
Mary Jane Taylor was born on 2 May 1957 at Oklahoma City, Oklahoma County, Oklahoma. She was the daughter of Tom G. Taylor Jr. and Margaret Rose Williams. Mary Jane Taylor was murdered 26 Oct 1983 by Robert Knight Lavender, son of State Supreme Court Justice and Mrs. Robert E. Lavender. She was buried on 28 October 1983 at Oklahoma City, Oklahoma County, Oklahoma.

You know, just in case you were wondering.


Apparently this guy also jumped out of a third story window while in custody and ended up paralyzed. And he shot the girlfriend.
 
2012-12-03 11:10:57 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.

Okay, where's the thread? Some poor smuck (;)) paid 5 bucks, and I'm waiting to see if I need to make room for more stuff.

You owe me big time, without me there wouldn't be a thread to wait for and we'd have to watch the news to find out.

And yeah, she's probably in the combination Faraday cage / Torture dungeon / Breakfast nook by now.

True. If it weren't for you (and farkin_noob!), I'd be watching Futurama episodes on NetFlix.

Fair weather fan, eh? I'm going to have to hunker down with a beer and see where this leads.

Last season, don't have cable... And thinking I'm towards the end of my hunkering down for the night... about to pour my fifth.

If she doesn't come around before the end of this next one I'll say a little prayer: "Dear babby Jesus, please don't let farkin_noob become a skin-mask or lamp shade for her date from the internets. Thank you, Capie."


If it wasn't for the timezone, I'd assume she was quad girl from TFD.
 
2012-12-03 11:19:46 PM  

UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: UsikFark: CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: Done. We're having dinner at 7:30 mst. I'll submit one then.

Okay, where's the thread? Some poor smuck (;)) paid 5 bucks, and I'm waiting to see if I need to make room for more stuff.

You owe me big time, without me there wouldn't be a thread to wait for and we'd have to watch the news to find out.

And yeah, she's probably in the combination Faraday cage / Torture dungeon / Breakfast nook by now.

True. If it weren't for you (and farkin_noob!), I'd be watching Futurama episodes on NetFlix.

Fair weather fan, eh? I'm going to have to hunker down with a beer and see where this leads.

Last season, don't have cable... And thinking I'm towards the end of my hunkering down for the night... about to pour my fifth.

If she doesn't come around before the end of this next one I'll say a little prayer: "Dear babby Jesus, please don't let farkin_noob become a skin-mask or lamp shade for her date from the internets. Thank you, Capie."

If it wasn't for the timezone, I'd assume she was quad girl from TFD.


Boooooooo! I weep for ... quad girl.
 
2012-12-04 02:08:25 AM  
UsikFark and CapeFearCadaver sorry! I'm safe. I tried to submit a thread but my stupid phone wouldn't connect to the internet. It was awkward, but not too weird. The tapas was awesome and the sangria was even better.
 
2012-12-04 02:23:09 AM  
In my experience people who go on and on about what nice people they are usually end up being narcissists. The funny part is that their own ego allows them to believe it's true, so they seem sincere when they say it. Life is hilariously cruel.
 
2012-12-04 02:36:43 AM  
SORRY honey but you're stupid if you go off alone with someone on the first date

oh wait, you're dead.
too late.
 
2012-12-04 03:45:23 AM  

medius: I never murder on a first date.


I know, right? It's common courtesy
 
2012-12-04 04:16:09 AM  

Smackledorfer:
/not hot, a little jaded, doesn't blame women, but I would still insist I'm nice if you asked.


I clicked on your profile (looking for a photo, natch), and -- I swear this is true -- at first glance, I thought it said, "This loser isn't on your favorites list." 

user -> loser = Freudian slip of the eye?

No offense intended, I just thought it was funny.
 
2012-12-04 04:20:24 AM  
I wanna say I read an article some months ago on here that raised suspicion toward people who weren't active on Facebook, or didn't have accounts. Then this article rolls around.

This is why, I think, the whole social media "phenomenom" sucks. It's over analyzed by too many parties, and is generally an innacurate bellwether of future events.

The closing line of the article pretty much reaffirms my thoughts. Yeah, let's police Facebook and continue jumping to insane conclusions at the expense of our privacy. That'll stop all the crime.
 
2012-12-04 06:48:30 AM  
Just want to say that I know the family of this woman and they did everything to get the cops on this. Once again Saginaw county cops dropping the ball. Remember, this is the same county where 8 officers fired 46 shots, killing a homeless man for brandishing a pocket knife, in the daytime, in a parking lot. She was missing 10 days and the cops knew for 7 before they went to the guys house.
 
2012-12-04 09:04:33 AM  

Trade Secret: Just want to say that I know the family of this woman and they did everything to get the cops on this. Once again Saginaw county cops dropping the ball. Remember, this is the same county where 8 officers fired 46 shots, killing a homeless man for brandishing a pocket knife, in the daytime, in a parking lot. She was missing 10 days and the cops knew for 7 before they went to the guys house.


I'm so sorry :(
 
2012-12-04 09:05:13 AM  

farkin_noob: UsikFark and CapeFearCadaver sorry! I'm safe. I tried to submit a thread but my stupid phone wouldn't connect to the internet. It was awkward, but not too weird. The tapas was awesome and the sangria was even better.


Yay, you're alive!

/boo, no free stuff
 
2012-12-04 10:19:33 AM  
Excitable boy, they all said
 
2012-12-04 10:25:51 AM  

MadAzza: Smackledorfer:
/not hot, a little jaded, doesn't blame women, but I would still insist I'm nice if you asked.

I clicked on your profile (looking for a photo, natch), and -- I swear this is true -- at first glance, I thought it said, "This loser isn't on your favorites list." 

user -> loser = Freudian slip of the eye?

No offense intended, I just thought it was funny.


Eh, it's accurate enough... I don't really do anything but go to work these days.
 
2012-12-04 11:33:26 AM  

CapeFearCadaver: farkin_noob: UsikFark and CapeFearCadaver sorry! I'm safe. I tried to submit a thread but my stupid phone wouldn't connect to the internet. It was awkward, but not too weird. The tapas was awesome and the sangria was even better.

Yay, you're alive!

/boo, no free stuff


Don't worry, I'm sure I'll run into a serial killer sooner or later. ;-)
 
2012-12-04 11:41:55 AM  
What a weirdo's dating profile says:
"I'm a nice guy!"

What is really means:
"I have no social skills, and I cannot relate to other human beings. If a woman is polite to me in a minor way, such as smiling at me or saying 'excuse me', I will interpret that as the two of us being in a deep meaningful relationship. I will stalk ladies until they are forced to be very rude to me or call the police to get rid of me. I have a deep hatred of women because none of them will allow me to put my penis into them, even though I totally deserve to get laid because I am so nice that I haven't murdered them (yet). I truly do not understand why 'nice guys' like me finish last!"
 
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