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(Wall Street Journal)   90% of businesses plan on having holiday parties, even though 95% of workers would rather just have cash or time off   (blogs.wsj.com) divider line 77
    More: Obvious, champagne, Ferris wheels, staffing firm  
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4970 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2012 at 1:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
2012-12-03 01:47:07 PM
8 votes:
There are no office parties.

There are office public appearances.

Parties are what happen when you're not so worried about appearances.

I say cut all the team-building crap and focus on what makes employees happy: more money, and fire the incompetents, so the people who aren't idiots can get their work done and go home early.
2012-12-03 01:55:09 PM
5 votes:
All I want for Christmas is a job.
2012-12-03 10:34:26 AM
5 votes:

basemetal: So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy? Way to slam the workers of America, subbs.


Holiday parties cost a lot less than bonuses, and bosses know that. The last newspaper I worked at would just find the bar or restaurant that owed them the most at the end of the year and swap out a deal. It was always a great party, but it was certainly the cheap way out.
2012-12-03 10:24:59 AM
5 votes:
100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.
2012-12-03 02:49:23 PM
4 votes:
Before Bain Capital took over my company: leave work early on Friday, then the department holiday party at night at a good restaurant, usually steak or lobster, plenty of drinks, and even a bonus check if we had a good season. We all felt like part of a family, although a somewhat dysfunctional one.

After Bain Capital took over my company: Office luncheon on a Wednesday afternoon with all of the other departments that we don't even deal with. Pretty lame food. No alcohol of course, since it's the middle of a work day. They tried some lame games in the past but I think this year they'll give up on those since most people just abandon ship and go back to their desks. No bonus checks anymore, even if we have a kick-ass season.

If you are working at a company that is about to be bought up by a venture capital firm...just get the hell out while you can. You'll be glad you did.
2012-12-03 04:05:38 PM
3 votes:

Lunaville: One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!"


So for next time, instead of emasculating your husband in front of the people and relationships that define his career, maybe just politely say: "sounds like fun!" and tell your husband afterwords that you's rather not, and enlist him to come up with a creative excuse.

Lunaville: The supervisor of my husbands' department walked up and tried to stop us from leaving. He'd been drinking and was in a fabulous mood. I lost it snapping "We've been here 6 hours! This is not a party. This is a work day. I want to be reimbursed!" We left quite quickly after that.


See above.

You seem to be completely devoid of social grace. And this is coming from one of the rudest and arrogant people I know: me.

I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does. That is, unless you are divorced, in which case I am sorry for the kids, but good for him.
2012-12-03 01:29:00 PM
3 votes:
I worked at a place where they had dreadful holiday parties. The big bosses would give speeches about business. They'd ramble for 20-30 minutes on boring stuff and you could not leave.

I'd load up on cocktails before the speeches began and would have three or four drinks on table. I'd get a good buzz that would take me through.

During a meeting one year, they announced that there would be no raises. People were not happy. The idiot witch HR manager blustered that "well, we have a nice holiday party."

I responded, 'I can't make a car payment with a holiday party.' She hated me even more after that.
2012-12-03 12:52:41 PM
3 votes:
The holiday party my employer threw last year was massively over the top. ~45 people in the company, only 50 in total (including SO's) showed up. They could have cut $800-$1000 bonus checks to us and it would have cost less than this party. Such a waste.
2012-12-03 12:34:06 PM
3 votes:

kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.


This X about eleventy billion. I have no idea how to interact with these people except in terms of the job. A lot of them are really touchy about some issues, and more than a couple of them I know keep little mental lists of "stuff" on other faculty members. I'd rather be seen as a bit of a standoffish kind of fellow than someone who is too forthcoming about their personal life.

This probably puts me on some kind of "spectrum" or other. I prefer to think of myself as simply antisocial.
2012-12-03 10:30:59 AM
3 votes:
In fairness to my employer, we always have a holiday party, at noon, and then everyone leaves early afterwards. And it's not like we do much beforehand either. So it's celebrating the holidays with our co-workers AND getting time off in one. And we get paid for it.

Also, depending on when Christmas falls, it always seems to be timed in such a way that it's effectively the last 'working' day before the holidays, and we get a day or two off to boot: Christmas is on a Tuesday this year, and our party is on a Thursday. No one will be in that Friday or Monday unless they really want to be, so it's a nice little bonus.
2012-12-03 05:07:27 PM
2 votes:

Lernaeus: H31N0US: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important. make a shiatload more money than I do

So ... be a corporate whore, submit to others, castrate your personality, and make your wife "behave," and you'll make more money?

No, thanks. I've got a little self-respect left.


I don't define myself as who I am at work. I do what I need to do, for my career, and for my wife's. If I need to put on a black tie and pretend to be charming at some function for my wife's job, I do it. It's one evening. She does the same for me. That in no way represents a castration of our personalities, we just laugh and trash talk some of the idiots (and each other if we do or say something dumb) we see at these things.

But hey man, whatever floats your boat. Wave your freak flag high...maybe someone will salute it. I figured out long ago that nobody really gives a shiat about anything, so if I have to "sell out" now an then in order to grow the paychecks, fark it. Nobody cares one way or another, and I enjoy being closer to the financial freedom towards which I am working. Feel free to judge me. I don't give a shiat either.
2012-12-03 04:41:10 PM
2 votes:

Lernaeus: JusticeandIndependence: It matters.

From the examples you cited, maybe - though I'd either not invite the guy along, or give him a good lie to tell his shrew of a wife - but the original issue was the wife being asked by her husband's employer to participate in something she had little interest in doing in a place she didn't want to be while attending to 2 young children that were probably bored, cranky, and uncomfortable, then speculation that he got sh*t for that from coworkers.

Maybe I'm in the minority, here, but (A) I don't expect that others want to participate in the things I want to, (B) don't hold anyone in disregard for not being interested, and (C) certainly wouldn't treat a coworker like dogsh*t because his wife - a total stranger to me - didn't want to take part.

The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.


First of all, I believe she was exaggerating just a little in her story. Secondly, it was SIX HOURS out of one year. I think she can handle it just a little better than she described.
2012-12-03 04:12:05 PM
2 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Perfect...just polished off the final packet from last year's Hot Cocoa Sampler Box this morning.


Came here to post this.

Source for the n00bs
2012-12-03 03:12:16 PM
2 votes:

Lunaville: kindms: Wow so for 1 f-ing day out of the year or so you couldn't put on a poker face to support your husbands career ?

Post your address and I'll pack him in a box and mail him to you.
And, actually people did remember me ... and slunk forward to admit they didn't enjoy mandatory "parties" that lasted 6 to 12 hours and involved ignorant as h-e-double hockey sticks HR employees harassing them and their spouses. FYI, Miss Priss was let go long ago. Seems making unreasonable demands of others was not party only behavior.


So in your mind it was validation that "some people" didn't enjoy mandatory parties. I can't believe your husband is still married to you to be honest. You couldn't keep your mouth or emotions in check in front of the very few people who could make your husbands life easier or harder.

You then go on to post later that you are lucky because your "supervisor liked the food so much he let us leave early". 1) if you were in a job with any authority or were making any significant amounts of money you would never need a supervisor to tell you it is ok to leave, you just do it.

So not only did you essentially cause a scene at atleast 2 xmas parties, you embarrassed your husband in front of his co-workers and you are brash enough to brag about it.

Must be AWESOME to be married to you.
2012-12-03 03:03:58 PM
2 votes:
i never go, even when "mandatory".

Fark it, after work is "my time". If I have to work and get something done, that's one thing. I've never left in the middle of something (I've worked through the night many times). But stay during my own time for that? No thanks.


Same goes for "team lunches".. If I can really blow off 2hrs, let me work instead then leave at 3. No dice? Ok then. Now I see, you're just flipping things to obligate me to work late instead.


Life is too short. Family and friends get priority. I don't see enough of either as is. I'm not going to impress the boss after hours.

I'm positive I won't regret this on my death bed. Nobody in the world has regretted not showing up to office parties.
2012-12-03 02:56:53 PM
2 votes:

LasersHurt: I get to be flown in to Ottowa for a party. That's fun, huh? Woo. Ottowa.


Ottawa? can be fun depending on where the party is.
2012-12-03 02:50:05 PM
2 votes:

Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours in we were ...


Wow so for 1 f-ing day out of the year or so you couldn't put on a poker face to support your husbands career ? No one likes to do it but you suck it up. it is what you are supposed to do. You got your husband singled out because you had to act like an ass at a company event and believe me all of those people remember you. If you had said anything about a resume in front of his boss and co-workers I certainly hope for your sake you were the primary bread winner. Somehow I bet your husband when asked to interact with your co-workers or work related events was probably well behaved and civil.
2012-12-03 02:32:31 PM
2 votes:
You ever read a story think "Jesus Christ. I hope they're divorced now for his sake." Because I just did.
rka
2012-12-03 01:55:01 PM
2 votes:
My wife's company has a fairly good party. It's either at a nice hotel downtown, so you get a room, bring a few bottles of wine, pre-party to your heart's content and don't worry about getting trashed. Or, the last few years they've rented out the club level area at the Bronco's football stadium. Decent food, nice bar. Tours of the stadium going on. The person who plans the whole thing is the CEO's executive assistant and my wife and I hang out with her and her husband socially so drink tickets are never an issue. We spend some time there and then a few of us take off for downtown, continue to have a good time and then use the company provided cab vouchers to get home.

All in all, not a bad way to spend the night.
2012-12-03 01:54:03 PM
2 votes:
Our holiday party is over lunch and since I plan to go back to work afterwards I don't get to drink. I'm a department head in a manufacturing plant with unionized employees. If I made anybody unhappy in the past few months (which is impossible NOT to do unless I stay home from work) I can expect them to file a grievance about me being at work with alcohol in me.
2012-12-03 01:52:53 PM
2 votes:
They buy us lunch at a decent steakhouse and we go back to the office for quick white elephant gift exchange, putz around a bit and go home early. We also get our usual Christmas bonus of around $500 at the same time. It's not much but we're happy to have jobs. The architecture field is a shadow of itself these days.

/still not participating in the Fartbongo recession
2012-12-03 01:52:02 PM
2 votes:

basemetal: So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy?


In related news, wanting to simply be compensated for your work based on the time you spend doing that work instead of forced to engage in banal conversation with people you don't really like just because of the date on the calendar makes you "ungrateful, entitled and lazy".

Now that you're ass manager, do you no longer have to wear the pirate outfit?
2012-12-03 01:50:11 PM
2 votes:
gothamist.com

Your typical office Christmas party these days.

/hot
2012-12-03 01:49:59 PM
2 votes:
img357.imageshack.us

/hot like a sampler box.
2012-12-03 01:48:12 PM
2 votes:
My company doesn't do shiat for Christmas.

And for that I am very grateful.

I hate Chritsmas parties...especially those which are work-organized.
2012-12-03 01:08:55 PM
2 votes:
I really hate mine. I get to see co-workers all day, every day, for 240+ days per year. The last thing I want to do is have them invade more of my time. If it was a choice between holiday party and nothing, I choose nothing. But you are obligated to go.
2012-12-03 10:33:26 AM
2 votes:
If office holiday parties didn't seem like they were organized by unemployed guidance counselors or kindergarten teachers, we might enjoy them more. Our office went with option C recently, which is the option where you spend no money on employees at all and wonder why they start leaving in droves.
2012-12-04 08:05:51 AM
1 votes:

kindms: Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours ...


This 1000x times.

At our "all hands" meeting (2 days of meetings for me, plus the required dinner without spouses) my wife wanted to tag along.

At the end of the first night in town, she and I went out for a night cap after all the company crap was done.

At the end of this who should we run into back at the hotel lobby but my boss and his boss chatting.

Without missing a beat, she talked to both of them for several minutes: Great city, thanks for letting spouses tag along, so glad I finally get to meet you guys, etc... Its all she had to do. Social wheels greased, and done.

Its about as 180 from yelling out in public you should get your resume up to date in front of everyone.

It is simple. You don't embarrass your spouse in public, you definitely don't do it around coworkers.

The level of annoyance you're spitting out about things like the "santa visit, another thing I couldnt care less about" ... ITS NOT ALWAYS ALL ABOUT YOU.

Sometimes you just suck it up as he said and you play your role.

Why is that so damn difficult? I'm hoping the internet is just painting a worse picture than reality, but your answers have been pretty consistent. It might be worth it if you quit making your husband's once a year party all about you for once, and just did your best to play along. Let someone else be the gossip focus this year.
2012-12-03 09:00:20 PM
1 votes:
and the article points out exactly why Company parties fail so miserably these days. I truly miss my days of working for Big Oil where not only did I get to bring a date to the Christmas party (never had one, sadly) but for many dinners/lunches/brunches that were semi-business meetings spouses were not only allowed but encouraged. Networking, I would guess may have been my company's motive back then.

So why holiday parties suck and why we want no part of them:

Held during lunch, 30 minutes, no more, btw. Hey you weren't really planning on eating a meal were you? Come have a cookie and get back to work slave (my company last year, but I was a temp and so wasn't even permitted a cookie, alas)

No alcohol. Well ok, it's expensive and there are potential liability issues, but if it's off premises off company time and employees pay for a cash bar, who cares?

No guests/spouses. How often does one get the opportunity to take their significant other around to introduce, show off or just shove old ugly into the closet under the stairs and hire a hooker/male escort for the evening and have a little fun? Ok, I'm joking about this last one, here. But you see my point.

/company is holding no holiday party this year, but hey at least I won't be told to go have a cookie, race back to my desk and then told to be thankful for it like the poor saps of last year were told to do. And no, no bonus, no extra day off, no falalalala, at all. They like to keep the whip cracking. I need a new job
2012-12-03 07:14:51 PM
1 votes:
Well ours is a lunch at 1 pm (so they can get in the 5 hr of work beforehand- or a full 8 hr day for our factory employees). We have dried up turkey and listen to a ONE HOUR drone by our CEO. God it is boring and I work in sales and know what he is talking about. Then after that we do a 'rob your neighbor' type gift thing. The thing is, not all the employees even GET a gift and the gifts are not all equal value. There are usually 5 nice gifts worth over $25 and the rest being cocoa samplers or sausage samplers. So most people go home with nothing. We wait awkwardly for bonus checks to be passed out and they are not (the next Monday HR clarifies that we did not make enough money to give out bonuses). Finally the head of the party planning committee presents a gift to the company owner and his wife (who are rich, duh)- the gift is probably $500 value.

At that point things get really awkward with people trying to make conversation. I excuse myself to 'check my email' although since the customers I work with are all in Asia they probably are not working... Eventually the nice VP will come around and tell us to go home early OR (last year, which was particularly dreadful) the HR lady sent out an email that said "Although [the CEO] said 'have a nice holiday' he did not mean go home early."

Also since the owner's wife has an alcoholic somewhere in her family there is absolutely no alcohol. (Note that if coworkers want to go out for a drink to celebrate someone's last day we have to specifically say that it is not a company sanctioned event.)

It is amazing how many people use vacation just to avoid this party...

Also the best part is that we have a 2 guys with Celiac disease and at many company provided food events no food is provided for them. So they will pathetically scrape the toppings off of their pizza and eat a lump of cheese or just go hungry when we are having sub sandwiches. Same with our vegetarians...
2012-12-03 07:13:39 PM
1 votes:

Mr. Coffee Nerves: After years of no "official" party our new VP -- who was old enough to talk about that whippersnapper Hannibal and his wacky elephant ideas -- put together a real hootenanny.

From 3-4PM on a workday we were all invited to come to the conference room where there were TWO three-liter bottles of Ghetto Cola and a giant bag of popcorn -- the kind that KMart sells in the "So you're totally out of ideas" gift section -- available for your dining pleasure. We also got our "present" -- a cheap color photocopy of the CEO's official portrait.


OK, maybe you're the winner of the thread. This is close to the most depressing shiat I've ever read that hasn't been endorsed by Oprah.
2012-12-03 07:06:07 PM
1 votes:
I find it sad, and you should to, that you have to "sell out" in order to get ahead and you find this acceptable. You aren't a prostitute. You are an employee and the company you work for should reward you for your work not for gathering with other people who are also desperately pretending they don't have better things to do.

I have been called out for insubordination more times than I care to recall, but have never been terminated because I do my job well. There is a not so fine line between voicing disagreeing opinions at work and being a total douche nozzle at a company social function. If Luna has such big balls, then she should have just put her foot down to her husband and said she was not going instead of being a martyr. There is also such a thing called human decency. In some societies it is generally associated with politeness. This "politeness" thing has nothing to do with selling out. It is more of a being a decent human being thing than trying to upstage a HR person in front of other people. She chose the low road because apparently she has no social grace and is a total self-serving biatch.

I have been around the block more times than a Jehovah's Witness, and it never fails that the person yelling "sell out" is the same person that cannot keep a job for more than 6 months because a.) boss hates them b.) hates coworkers c.) coworkers hate them, etc.
2012-12-03 06:04:32 PM
1 votes:
This thread has been so great for reminding me why I hate corporate.

Luna was tactless, her husband had no spine, the HR lady was a jerk, and management was delusional for thinking that anyone -- especially infants! -- cared about their holiday party or that anything other than death and taxes could possibly be mandatory. Everyone involved was just awful. And that's why corporate farking sucks.
2012-12-03 05:58:30 PM
1 votes:

dopekitty74: mccallcl: rka: shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place?

I don't know, it could work, I'm not a pro infant wrangler. But if you know for sure it's going to be terrible, know yourself. Compromise one of your values now so you don't accidentally do it later, while everyone is watching and it's going to cost you a ton of money. Sometimes it's worse to try, no one appreciates the effort.

Lunaville indicated that once the kids came along she tried to convince hubby to let her and the kids stay home. He dragged her along anyhow.

My ex did the same thing, girls were 9months old and 5yrs old, party was in the evening, hubby didn't want to leave..

/no longer with him, but that's not the only reason


So clearly an outburst in front of his coworkers demanding his resignation was the way to go. Why not just say the babysitter had to go home? Seriously, so many no-brainer excuses a person could use. I would damn near murder my significant other for this kind of betrayal (and I wouldnt expect anything less in return if I had the audacity to do such a thing).
2012-12-03 05:45:19 PM
1 votes:

mccallcl: rka: shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place?

I don't know, it could work, I'm not a pro infant wrangler. But if you know for sure it's going to be terrible, know yourself. Compromise one of your values now so you don't accidentally do it later, while everyone is watching and it's going to cost you a ton of money. Sometimes it's worse to try, no one appreciates the effort.


Lunaville indicated that once the kids came along she tried to convince hubby to let her and the kids stay home. He dragged her along anyhow.

My ex did the same thing, girls were 9months old and 5yrs old, party was in the evening, hubby didn't want to leave..

/no longer with him, but that's not the only reason
rka
2012-12-03 05:21:24 PM
1 votes:

mccallcl: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.

I hate the term team player, I am not a team player and I also hate people that use the term team player. A team full of team players will run your company into the ground with a smile on their face.

What is pissing me off is that there are a million ways to avoid a scene like that:

-take a bunch of Valium and pass out
-feign an illness
-injure yourself
-get wicked wasted an hour before you're supposed to leave
-run out your front door and hide where your husband can't find you. Call a sitter on your cell phone and have her show up. Leave a note with a good excuse on it
-hire an escort and have her go
-make up a story that your kids died
-show up three hours late so it's only a three-hour party, your husband gets there on time, dishes an excuse involving a doctor
-kill yourself
-commit a petty crime, get arrested

I could do this all day, and I lie about twice a year, tops. No way in Hell that anyone but a self-centered, entitled princess couldn't come up with at least this many ways to avoid a meltdown. But she didn't, because the six hours started off wrong in her head, she was pissed at even having to go, pissed that her husband's co workers were stupid/ugly/rude whatever, and pissed because she had to be a mom in public, which usually sucks. Being that pissed for six hours is crazy-making, which is why you plan, plan, plan.


shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place? Here's a couple of pictures on my phone to tied you over.

But no, some people simply must have drama in their lives so they can play the martyr.
2012-12-03 05:20:57 PM
1 votes:

browntimmy: H31N0US: browntimmy: That's not going to work on him. He's the kind that goes to party thinking "I have to make a good impression. I have to make a good impresion." instead of, "I hope I have fun.".

Actually, I am the kind of person that understands the difference between a work party and a real party. It's not that hard.

Good. If you want to play the game where status in your company is determined by the quality of your wife's casserole, fine. But it shouldn't be shocking that a ton of people don't.


Nice strawman you're working on there, but it's less about casserole and more about not making an asshole out of oneself. Again, not that complicated.
2012-12-03 05:20:50 PM
1 votes:

H31N0US: Lernaeus: H31N0US: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important. make a shiatload more money than I do

So ... be a corporate whore, submit to others, castrate your personality, and make your wife "behave," and you'll make more money?

No, thanks. I've got a little self-respect left.

I don't define myself as who I am at work. I do what I need to do, for my career, and for my wife's. If I need to put on a black tie and pretend to be charming at some function for my wife's job, I do it. It's one evening. She does the same for me. That in no way represents a castration of our personalities, we just laugh and trash talk some of the idiots (and each other if we do or say something dumb) we see at these things.

But hey man, whatever floats your boat. Wave your freak flag high...maybe someone will salute it. I figured out long ago that nobody really gives a shiat about anything, so if I have to "sell out" now an then in order to grow the paychecks, fark it. Nobody cares one way or another, and I enjoy being closer to the financial freedom towards which I am working. Feel free to judge me. I don't give a shiat either.


I can't imagine running the kind of business where that matters, and have serious contempt for anyone who would expect something out of me aside from doing a good job.

Show up, work, go home - why does phony social behavior have to be a part of it? Why corral people together that don't voluntarily socialize and expect that to affect the bottom line?

If you *want* to throw or attend a party, then godspeed. But do it because you think it would be fun, not because your in some bullsh*t situation where if you don't go, Johnson will look better for the promotion than you. If that's your job situation, get the f*ck out ... people that would have you eating out of the palm of their hand OWN you.
2012-12-03 05:14:38 PM
1 votes:

Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.


I hate the term team player, I am not a team player and I also hate people that use the term team player. A team full of team players will run your company into the ground with a smile on their face.

What is pissing me off is that there are a million ways to avoid a scene like that:

-take a bunch of Valium and pass out
-feign an illness
-injure yourself
-get wicked wasted an hour before you're supposed to leave
-run out your front door and hide where your husband can't find you. Call a sitter on your cell phone and have her show up. Leave a note with a good excuse on it
-hire an escort and have her go
-make up a story that your kids died
-show up three hours late so it's only a three-hour party, your husband gets there on time, dishes an excuse involving a doctor
-kill yourself
-commit a petty crime, get arrested

I could do this all day, and I lie about twice a year, tops. No way in Hell that anyone but a self-centered, entitled princess couldn't come up with at least this many ways to avoid a meltdown. But she didn't, because the six hours started off wrong in her head, she was pissed at even having to go, pissed that her husband's co workers were stupid/ugly/rude whatever, and pissed because she had to be a mom in public, which usually sucks. Being that pissed for six hours is crazy-making, which is why you plan, plan, plan.
2012-12-03 05:13:18 PM
1 votes:
Team building is good. Parties and things of that nature are good for morale.

The employer can thus get something out of it that individual employees would not.

So ya subby, holiday parties may be worth it.
2012-12-03 05:12:20 PM
1 votes:

browntimmy: That's not going to work on him. He's the kind that goes to party thinking "I have to make a good impression. I have to make a good impresion." instead of, "I hope I have fun.".


Actually, I am the kind of person that understands the difference between a work party and a real party. It's not that hard.
2012-12-03 04:54:40 PM
1 votes:

Molavian: Right? Not a christmas story, but my wife's company had a sporting clays outing that I went to, and they expected me to share my $2k shotgun with the rest of the group I was in. Their HR biatches started to lean on me and I was getting angry when the club manager showed up with rental shotguns for people who didn't have them. Don't bring me to your company outing and tell me I'm going to let people use my shiat. Get bent, whore.


Common theme is that a lot of HR people are morons who mistake their role as personnel administrators as one of power.

I wouldn't have even brought my own gun though. It's their party, they can supply the favors.
2012-12-03 04:50:00 PM
1 votes:

Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.

make a shiatload more money than I do
2012-12-03 04:49:53 PM
1 votes:

Lernaeus: JusticeandIndependence: It matters.

From the examples you cited, maybe - though I'd either not invite the guy along, or give him a good lie to tell his shrew of a wife - but the original issue was the wife being asked by her husband's employer to participate in something she had little interest in doing in a place she didn't want to be while attending to 2 young children that were probably bored, cranky, and uncomfortable, then speculation that he got sh*t for that from coworkers.

Maybe I'm in the minority, here, but (A) I don't expect that others want to participate in the things I want to, (B) don't hold anyone in disregard for not being interested, and (C) certainly wouldn't treat a coworker like dogsh*t because his wife - a total stranger to me - didn't want to take part.

The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.


One CAN be bored at a party and not act like a total twat. It's called self-respect.
2012-12-03 04:43:08 PM
1 votes:

Lunaville: WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?

It really wasn't about him. It was about a company and its' deranged HR people who thought they had bought outright their employees and along with their families. It's the only company I've ever heard of that has even attempted to make spouse attendance at functions mandatory. How the hell do you make anything mandatory for people who do not work for you?


Right? Not a christmas story, but my wife's company had a sporting clays outing that I went to, and they expected me to share my $2k shotgun with the rest of the group I was in. Their HR biatches started to lean on me and I was getting angry when the club manager showed up with rental shotguns for people who didn't have them. Don't bring me to your company outing and tell me I'm going to let people use my shiat. Get bent, whore.

Anyways, that was the last of those I went to.
2012-12-03 04:35:14 PM
1 votes:

Lunaville: I hated those parties so much.


Yeah no shiat, I'm sure your husband's career took a serious hit as a result of your behavior. I probably don't have to tell you (because I'm sure he already has, at volume) that you cost your family five figures with your outbursts. In order to make up for you, he probably had to sacrifice a lot at work, and your life got a ton worse, whether you realize it or not.

There are times when not having a wife and family make me feel lonely, and cheated out of the best part of life's majestic tapestry. Reading your remarks is not one of those times.
2012-12-03 04:17:14 PM
1 votes:

H31N0US: Lunaville: One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!"

So for next time, instead of emasculating your husband in front of the people and relationships that define his career, maybe just politely say: "sounds like fun!" and tell your husband afterwords that you's rather not, and enlist him to come up with a creative excuse.

You might be right, but if her husband was incapable of finding an out for his wife who clearly didn't want to be there along with 2 infants, he likely won't be able to come up with an out for this.

Lunaville: The supervisor of my husbands' department walked up and tried to stop us from leaving. He'd been drinking and was in a fabulous mood. I lost it snapping "We've been here 6 hours! This is not a party. This is a work day. I want to be reimbursed!" We left quite quickly after that.

See above.

Again, anyone who would drag their wife and infants to a "mandatory" office party and remain there for 6 hours, and would allow his colleagues to bully him into remaining, would be clueless of all but the bluntest of messages

You seem to be completely devoid of social grace. And this is coming from one of the rudest and arrogant people I know: me.

I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does. That is, unless you are divorced, in which case I am sorry for the kids, but good for him.

 

I'll agree that her reactions were childish, but that may have been the only way to get the message across
2012-12-03 04:03:13 PM
1 votes:
The company party isn't the only party a lot of you don't attend by the sound of things.
2012-12-03 03:44:27 PM
1 votes:

Lunaville


It really wasn't about him.


Of course not. It wasn't about working as a family to support the sole breadwinner, it was about your unemployed, selfish self.
2012-12-03 03:35:23 PM
1 votes:
Not participating in company events & parties was (probably) one factor in my getting laid off a few years ago...

/ still, i wouldn't have done anything different
// hanging out with a bunch of "type-A" personalities and sociopaths just isn't my thing...
2012-12-03 03:22:15 PM
1 votes:
I've got the Christmas party next week. It's director level and above only. Open bar, slutty trophy wives and girlfriends dressing to impress. What's not to like?
2012-12-03 03:16:06 PM
1 votes:
Put me in the 'Not Attending' category.
2012-12-03 03:15:08 PM
1 votes:

WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?


It really wasn't about him. It was about a company and its' deranged HR people who thought they had bought outright their employees and along with their families. It's the only company I've ever heard of that has even attempted to make spouse attendance at functions mandatory. How the hell do you make anything mandatory for people who do not work for you?
2012-12-03 03:03:05 PM
1 votes:
The invite for my division's holiday party last year was sent out a few days after announcing that they were canceling the yearly bonus for everyone in a non-management position.

The head of our division decided to host it at his swanky country club. It was not accessible by public transportation so none of us minions could get there.

/Our division head doesn't even try to hide the fact that he's a dick.
2012-12-03 03:02:41 PM
1 votes:

kindms: Wow so for 1 f-ing day out of the year or so you couldn't put on a poker face to support your husbands career ?


Post your address and I'll pack him in a box and mail him to you.
And, actually people did remember me ... and slunk forward to admit they didn't enjoy mandatory "parties" that lasted 6 to 12 hours and involved ignorant as h-e-double hockey sticks HR employees harassing them and their spouses. FYI, Miss Priss was let go long ago. Seems making unreasonable demands of others was not party only behavior.
2012-12-03 03:02:07 PM
1 votes:

moothemagiccow: whistleridge: In fairness to my employer, we always have a holiday party, at noon, and then everyone leaves early afterwards. And it's not like we do much beforehand either. So it's celebrating the holidays with our co-workers AND getting time off in one. And we get paid for it.

It also means your employer doesn't have to cover your spouses like they would at the christmas dinner.


Why on Earth would I want to drag my spouse to a work function where she doesn't know anyone and can't really relax? No...she meets me and the co-workers I'm good friends with for beer after we leave around 3:30.
2012-12-03 02:49:01 PM
1 votes:
This thread makes me feel better about my job and workplace.
2012-12-03 02:44:41 PM
1 votes:
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
disappoint party planning committee has a disappoint
2012-12-03 02:24:29 PM
1 votes:
I get a large budget to throw the annual party for my team

One year I personally cooked the entire dinner, bought great wines, and had everyone to my home for a nice evening.
- "OTHER departments took their staff out to a nice restaurant and gave them (illegal) gift cards! We don't feel appreciated."

One year I reserved a nice restaurant and had a raffle.
- "The raffle winners got gifts, but most people didn't! And that wasn't personal; you just wrote a check for the evening."

So screw it - no party at all!
- "Everyone else has some form of recognition, except for this department. You want us to work all year and then not recognize us for the work?"

OK, then we'll have a party. Any ideas?
- "We're here enough. Now you want us to come in on our time OFF? Can we bring our spouses?"

Well, I have a fixed budget. If we double the number of attendees, it'll have to be a less nice place. Like my house....

/I am not making this up.
//To be fair, it's only a few that complain like this, but they poison the rest of the team's attitude.
///Every year, about this time, I get crazy anxious about this topic - when it should be a pleasant thing.
2012-12-03 02:17:52 PM
1 votes:
My company has a really big Christmas party. Actually one per division. It's a huge deal, quite fancy.

My wife and I never go. The parties are so big it's possible that we might never bump into anyone we know and we're not social enough to arrange to meet people ahead of time. Plus, why do I want to see my co-workers in a social setting? I like them well enough and I respect them but I don't have any interest in carrying anything to do with work over to my personal life.
2012-12-03 02:16:57 PM
1 votes:
i1151.photobucket.com
2012-12-03 02:16:13 PM
1 votes:

Nitrox: My employer is awesome about the holidays. The entire organization is shutting down Friday at noon before Christmas and we have paid vacation through New Years Day. This is in addition to the 4 other weeks of vacation we are given, as well as 5 sick days


My company gives you 2 - 3 weeks of vacation(depending on tenure), which includes your sick days and floating holidays.

Then only gives us the day of xmas off. So we have to be here the monday before, and all the days after until Jan 1. Same story on Thanksgiving. No work Thursday, but you better come back in Friday.

Again, they wonder why their turnover rate has shot through the roof. It never used to be like this until this bastards from the east coast invaded our lovely little company. We went from "we love our employees" to "raise the bottom line, fark the lot of you! you're all replaceable!"

/anyone looking for an IT guy in the Idaho/Oregon/Washington area? Will move for position. Get me away from these people.
2012-12-03 02:13:16 PM
1 votes:
My employer is awesome about the holidays. The entire organization is shutting down Friday at noon before Christmas and we have paid vacation through New Years Day. This is in addition to the 4 other weeks of vacation we are given, as well as 5 sick days
2012-12-03 02:12:38 PM
1 votes:
People at work don't seem to understand that I don't want to spend "my time" with a large group of people that the company has to pay me to associate with in the first place.
2012-12-03 02:10:15 PM
1 votes:
Our xmas party last year had a contestant from Iron Chef cooking the meal. It was awesome. But after I found out what they spent on everything. I would have been happy with a gift certificate to Outback and a small raise.
2012-12-03 02:08:00 PM
1 votes:
I liked office parties when I was working at various law firms. Lotsa drama. The secretaries would bring their husband/boyfriend but their personal lives were always something out of a cops episode. So, it would the 3rd husband or Frank the meth addict loser boyfriend who would spice things up. If any of the secretaries or staff were hot they would have half the attorneys trying to hit on them. Worse was the partner who is bonking one of the secretaries and she's at the party, but has to play nice and shows up with the wife. Or the general having to show up with your gf/wife and that coworker you had some impropriety is also there.

Then there are the lawyers who end up a scotch too far and either embarrass themselves with the secretaries, saying some stupid shiat to the managing partner and/or vomiting - that's every year like clockwork. The drunks at the party are usually biatching a little too loud about the firm, their hourly billables or love life disasters. Sometimes there are successful hookups which will be discussed the next week. But unlike television, lawyers are not the best looking people on the planet, so its nothing to be excited about - the thought of lawyers coupling or reproducing is not a pretty thought.

The one good thing is law firm parties I've gone to never tend to be cheap - at club, restaurant, etc. and its ALWAYS open bar.

Recently moved in-house. This year will suck. No lawyers and no open bar. Just middle-aged hags. Bleah.
2012-12-03 02:02:13 PM
1 votes:
Our holiday parties used to be awesome. We rented out the convention space at one of the swankiest hotels in town. Our company president would fly in and buy tons of booze at the liquor store, and we'd all have a very merry time.

Our holiday parties now?

Balloon animals.
A fat employee dressed as santa.
Face painting.
Poorly catered meal.
and the GM giving us a hearty "thank you for busting your tail, enjoy the 50 bucks we invested on all of you for this great party!"

I swear our holiday party is more for kids than for adult employees. It's disgusting. I would rather they just ditch the whole thing rather than force us to see this embarrassment.

And they wonder why our turnover rate went from being non-existent to like 5 - 6 resignations a month. At this rate we wont have any employees by March of next year.

Before someone goes "omg ungrateful employee." I don't care if they do or don't throw a party. I don't want the money they spent on it. I just think if they're going to do something for a holiday party, make it worthwhile and cool. Not call a couple clowns to paint kids faces and make balloon animals, then have our food catered by like farking costco. It's just another subtle reminder of how little the new owners of my company give a shiat about their workers.
2012-12-03 01:58:28 PM
1 votes:
It used to be that you could give an employee anything valued $25 or less and you didn't have to deduct taxes from it. IRS rules have changed. That $25 Target gift card now counts as $25 of income to you, and your company has to hold the taxes out of your paycheck. For a big company, that's a lot of additional transactions that have to be processed, at additional cost/resources from somewhere. Now you can only give a specific item that isn't a "cash equivalent", like a ham.

Now that so many people are actually working as contractors, it's also hard to give time off since that time still gets billed to a client...and if that wasn't part of the contract they're going to say "no".

So basically we live in a world* where not only was Scrooge never visited by ghosts, but he got put in charge of everything.

* whitewhine
2012-12-03 01:57:59 PM
1 votes:

kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.


This.
2012-12-03 01:57:06 PM
1 votes:
bullshiat, bullshiat, bullshiat, i work in catering and corporate holiday parties/sales are anywhere CLOSE to where they were before the housing/economy meltdown.
2012-12-03 01:56:15 PM
1 votes:
Office-mandated Cheer & Goodwill always blows. Gift giving is worse: you won't get what you asked for. Then there's the booze & drug-free 'parties'.... the religiotards take command over those.
Have a Pentecostal Christmas!

/would rather have an Xmas
2012-12-03 01:51:45 PM
1 votes:

doczoidberg: My company doesn't do shiat for Christmas.

And for that I am very grateful.

I hate Chritsmas parties...especially those which are work-organized.


Our firm is having it at a cooking school where first there is a cooking class then a dinner. You would want to slit your wrist with one the kitchen knives.
2012-12-03 01:46:41 PM
1 votes:
Yeah, but cash or time off don't let you play "is this the career-ending drink?" roulette.
2012-12-03 12:11:03 PM
1 votes:

kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.


I've been to a couple of them, they're just weird. Gave my NotRSVP today.
2012-12-03 10:47:35 AM
1 votes:
We have the shiattiest office parties ever. Like, legendarily bad. We pay for our own food, there's no alcohol, and we're expected to be back at our desks by 2:00 p.m. Nothing like watching stone-cold-sober civil servants do the macarena at lunch time. One year we had a magician going table-to-table doing tricks with elastic bands. He kept trying to guess which card we'd chosen, and failing. After four wrong attempts we just asked him to go. Then the fat girl in HR sings carols.

Another year, we had to make nativity scenes out of the food and centrepieces on our table. I carved a baby Jesus out of a butter pat and hollowed out a bread roll for his manger. Again, sober.

A friend of mine's office is doing an HR "fun training session" plus a potluck.

I swear to god, I don't know what I'd do without the scotch in my desk drawer.
2012-12-03 10:24:44 AM
1 votes:
So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy? Way to slam the workers of America, subbs.
2012-12-03 10:18:22 AM
1 votes:
90% of supervisors also plan on hitting on the intern in marketing.
 
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