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(Wall Street Journal)   90% of businesses plan on having holiday parties, even though 95% of workers would rather just have cash or time off   (blogs.wsj.com) divider line 317
    More: Obvious, champagne, Ferris wheels, staffing firm  
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4977 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2012 at 1:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-03 10:18:22 AM  
90% of supervisors also plan on hitting on the intern in marketing.
 
2012-12-03 10:24:44 AM  
So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy? Way to slam the workers of America, subbs.
 
2012-12-03 10:24:59 AM  
100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.
 
2012-12-03 10:29:35 AM  
there's cake in the break room.

but everyones already over at the bar across the street.
 
2012-12-03 10:30:59 AM  
In fairness to my employer, we always have a holiday party, at noon, and then everyone leaves early afterwards. And it's not like we do much beforehand either. So it's celebrating the holidays with our co-workers AND getting time off in one. And we get paid for it.

Also, depending on when Christmas falls, it always seems to be timed in such a way that it's effectively the last 'working' day before the holidays, and we get a day or two off to boot: Christmas is on a Tuesday this year, and our party is on a Thursday. No one will be in that Friday or Monday unless they really want to be, so it's a nice little bonus.
 
2012-12-03 10:33:26 AM  
If office holiday parties didn't seem like they were organized by unemployed guidance counselors or kindergarten teachers, we might enjoy them more. Our office went with option C recently, which is the option where you spend no money on employees at all and wonder why they start leaving in droves.
 
2012-12-03 10:34:26 AM  

basemetal: So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy? Way to slam the workers of America, subbs.


Holiday parties cost a lot less than bonuses, and bosses know that. The last newspaper I worked at would just find the bar or restaurant that owed them the most at the end of the year and swap out a deal. It was always a great party, but it was certainly the cheap way out.
 
2012-12-03 10:43:10 AM  

delsydsoftware: If office holiday parties didn't seem like they were organized by unemployed guidance counselors or kindergarten teachers, we might enjoy them more. Our office went with option C recently, which is the option where you spend no money on employees at all and wonder why they start leaving in droves.


If your office has former rave/party organizers among its technical or HR staff, it can work out pretty well. Rented halls, buffets, a live band maybe or else a DJ, and lots of booze. So that gets it up to the level of a wedding reception.
 
2012-12-03 10:47:35 AM  
We have the shiattiest office parties ever. Like, legendarily bad. We pay for our own food, there's no alcohol, and we're expected to be back at our desks by 2:00 p.m. Nothing like watching stone-cold-sober civil servants do the macarena at lunch time. One year we had a magician going table-to-table doing tricks with elastic bands. He kept trying to guess which card we'd chosen, and failing. After four wrong attempts we just asked him to go. Then the fat girl in HR sings carols.

Another year, we had to make nativity scenes out of the food and centrepieces on our table. I carved a baby Jesus out of a butter pat and hollowed out a bread roll for his manger. Again, sober.

A friend of mine's office is doing an HR "fun training session" plus a potluck.

I swear to god, I don't know what I'd do without the scotch in my desk drawer.
 
2012-12-03 10:48:44 AM  

vartian: Holiday parties cost a lot less than bonuses, and bosses know that. The last newspaper I worked at would just find the bar or restaurant that owed them the most at the end of the year and swap out a deal. It was always a great party, but it was certainly the cheap way out.


My wife's company always has a blow out. Great food, ok music and the company is large enough that everyone has a small group of people they actually like.
 
2012-12-03 10:52:13 AM  

Generation_D: delsydsoftware: If office holiday parties didn't seem like they were organized by unemployed guidance counselors or kindergarten teachers, we might enjoy them more. Our office went with option C recently, which is the option where you spend no money on employees at all and wonder why they start leaving in droves.

If your office has former rave/party organizers among its technical or HR staff, a budget it can work out pretty well. Rented halls, buffets, a live band maybe or else a DJ, and lots of booze. So that gets it up to the level of a wedding reception.


What you mentioned is nice, but I suspect in places like subby is thinking about, the problem isn't talent or willingness, but tight-fisted management.
 
2012-12-03 10:52:29 AM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: We have the shiattiest office parties ever. Like, legendarily bad. We pay for our own food, there's no alcohol, and we're expected to be back at our desks by 2:00 p.m. Nothing like watching stone-cold-sober civil servants do the macarena at lunch time. One year we had a magician going table-to-table doing tricks with elastic bands. He kept trying to guess which card we'd chosen, and failing. After four wrong attempts we just asked him to go. Then the fat girl in HR sings carols.

Another year, we had to make nativity scenes out of the food and centrepieces on our table. I carved a baby Jesus out of a butter pat and hollowed out a bread roll for his manger. Again, sober.

A friend of mine's office is doing an HR "fun training session" plus a potluck.

I swear to god, I don't know what I'd do without the scotch in my desk drawer.


Good lord, its like an episode of The Office, where everyone's like Toby.
 
2012-12-03 10:54:18 AM  
My department does a Christmas party that usually ends around 5am- potluck food and plenty of booze, usually is quite a good time.

The only part I dislike is people are invited to showcase a talent while at the party. This is super fun when it's a guy strumming along singalongs on his guitar, absolute murder when a senior professor is spending 40 minutes going through his piano composition.
 
2012-12-03 10:58:20 AM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: We have the shiattiest office parties ever. Like, legendarily bad. We pay for our own food, there's no alcohol, and we're expected to be back at our desks by 2:00 p.m. Nothing like watching stone-cold-sober civil servants do the macarena at lunch time. One year we had a magician going table-to-table doing tricks with elastic bands. He kept trying to guess which card we'd chosen, and failing. After four wrong attempts we just asked him to go. Then the fat girl in HR sings carols.

Another year, we had to make nativity scenes out of the food and centrepieces on our table. I carved a baby Jesus out of a butter pat and hollowed out a bread roll for his manger. Again, sober.

A friend of mine's office is doing an HR "fun training session" plus a potluck.

I swear to god, I don't know what I'd do without the scotch in my desk drawer.


Your work place?
i76.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-03 10:59:59 AM  
I'm in the 10%...hooray?
 
2012-12-03 11:25:15 AM  

whistleridge: Generation_D: delsydsoftware: If office holiday parties didn't seem like they were organized by unemployed guidance counselors or kindergarten teachers, we might enjoy them more. Our office went with option C recently, which is the option where you spend no money on employees at all and wonder why they start leaving in droves.

If your office has former rave/party organizers among its technical or HR staff, a budget it can work out pretty well. Rented halls, buffets, a live band maybe or else a DJ, and lots of booze. So that gets it up to the level of a wedding reception.

What you mentioned is nice, but I suspect in places like subby is thinking about, the problem isn't talent or willingness, but tight-fisted management.


Well, I'll go one more, what you must have in addition to budget is morale. If your employees hate the workplace and work is always stressed, no amount of treats at the year-end party is going to change anything. More like they'll just stuff their pockets and leave first chance they get.

I see inside of a few companies a year now, and I have seen the occasional decorated workspace. Its definitely a marker for employee morale how much participation is occurring and discernable fun is being had in the ramp up to halloween or the holidays.
 
2012-12-03 11:25:57 AM  

Sybarite: I'm in the 10%...hooray?


I've been at the same job for a long time and there's never been a work-sponsored holiday party of any kind. The best we can do is have some of the secretaries around the buildings sent out invitations to bring a dish for a potluck. And if anyone even thought about bringing any alcohol to one, they'd be fired before they got in the building.
 
2012-12-03 11:43:26 AM  
Perfect...just polished off the final packet from last year's Hot Cocoa Sampler Box this morning.
 
2012-12-03 12:03:26 PM  
Ours is usually a great party. Rented out restaurant, good food, lots of booze, dj, cab vouchers for everybody to get home. The boss leaves at 10.

People have such a good time that occasionally an employee who left to work somewhere else still wants to come to our party.

/50-ish employees, 80% between 20-35
 
2012-12-03 12:11:03 PM  

kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.


I've been to a couple of them, they're just weird. Gave my NotRSVP today.
 
2012-12-03 12:16:47 PM  
My office's "holiday party" consists of a free lunch at a restaurant and the rest of the day off. Alcohol isn't free, but you can buy it. I don't exactly look forward to it, but all in all I can't complain.
 
2012-12-03 12:29:14 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.

I've been to a couple of them, they're just weird. Gave my NotRSVP today.


You work here?
 
2012-12-03 12:34:06 PM  

kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.


This X about eleventy billion. I have no idea how to interact with these people except in terms of the job. A lot of them are really touchy about some issues, and more than a couple of them I know keep little mental lists of "stuff" on other faculty members. I'd rather be seen as a bit of a standoffish kind of fellow than someone who is too forthcoming about their personal life.

This probably puts me on some kind of "spectrum" or other. I prefer to think of myself as simply antisocial.
 
2012-12-03 12:38:37 PM  
Our company holiday is always on a Friday, at 6pm, at some restaurant in the middle of goddamn nowhere. There's free alcohol, but anyone above grunt level always seems to want to direct the conversation back toward work things. I went the first two years I was here, but never again.

The only good thing about it is people start leaving at 3 to take care of kids etc before heading over. So at least I get to go home early.
 
2012-12-03 12:52:41 PM  
The holiday party my employer threw last year was massively over the top. ~45 people in the company, only 50 in total (including SO's) showed up. They could have cut $800-$1000 bonus checks to us and it would have cost less than this party. Such a waste.
 
2012-12-03 01:08:55 PM  
I really hate mine. I get to see co-workers all day, every day, for 240+ days per year. The last thing I want to do is have them invade more of my time. If it was a choice between holiday party and nothing, I choose nothing. But you are obligated to go.
 
2012-12-03 01:11:57 PM  
Yeah, ours it on a Friday at 4:30-6:30pm. How about no.
 
2012-12-03 01:29:00 PM  
I worked at a place where they had dreadful holiday parties. The big bosses would give speeches about business. They'd ramble for 20-30 minutes on boring stuff and you could not leave.

I'd load up on cocktails before the speeches began and would have three or four drinks on table. I'd get a good buzz that would take me through.

During a meeting one year, they announced that there would be no raises. People were not happy. The idiot witch HR manager blustered that "well, we have a nice holiday party."

I responded, 'I can't make a car payment with a holiday party.' She hated me even more after that.
 
2012-12-03 01:34:05 PM  

kid_icarus: CapeFearCadaver: kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.

I've been to a couple of them, they're just weird. Gave my NotRSVP today.

You work here?


Looking over your shoulder right now.
 
2012-12-03 01:46:41 PM  
Yeah, but cash or time off don't let you play "is this the career-ending drink?" roulette.
 
2012-12-03 01:47:07 PM  
There are no office parties.

There are office public appearances.

Parties are what happen when you're not so worried about appearances.

I say cut all the team-building crap and focus on what makes employees happy: more money, and fire the incompetents, so the people who aren't idiots can get their work done and go home early.
 
2012-12-03 01:48:12 PM  
My company doesn't do shiat for Christmas.

And for that I am very grateful.

I hate Chritsmas parties...especially those which are work-organized.
 
2012-12-03 01:49:06 PM  
After lunch: the Trust Fall!

\ unlike the Thrust Fall
 
2012-12-03 01:49:23 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: We have the shiattiest office parties ever. Like, legendarily bad. We pay for our own food, there's no alcohol, and we're expected to be back at our desks by 2:00 p.m. Nothing like watching stone-cold-sober civil servants do the macarena at lunch time. One year we had a magician going table-to-table doing tricks with elastic bands. He kept trying to guess which card we'd chosen, and failing. After four wrong attempts we just asked him to go. Then the fat girl in HR sings carols.

Another year, we had to make nativity scenes out of the food and centrepieces on our table. I carved a baby Jesus out of a butter pat and hollowed out a bread roll for his manger. Again, sober.

A friend of mine's office is doing an HR "fun training session" plus a potluck.

I swear to god, I don't know what I'd do without the scotch in my desk drawer.


I am so, so sorry. That's just...wow. That's effin horrible.
 
2012-12-03 01:49:47 PM  
i1151.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-03 01:49:59 PM  
img357.imageshack.us

/hot like a sampler box.
 
2012-12-03 01:50:11 PM  
gothamist.com

Your typical office Christmas party these days.

/hot
 
2012-12-03 01:51:09 PM  
I've maintained for years that if the company really wanted me at the Xmas party, it would be on a Friday and start no later than 2pm (it's always on a Thursday evening).
 
2012-12-03 01:51:45 PM  

doczoidberg: My company doesn't do shiat for Christmas.

And for that I am very grateful.

I hate Chritsmas parties...especially those which are work-organized.


Our firm is having it at a cooking school where first there is a cooking class then a dinner. You would want to slit your wrist with one the kitchen knives.
 
2012-12-03 01:51:46 PM  
Our holiday party this year includes salsa dancing lessons. It's being held at work and the flyers point out in bold that spouses are *not* invited (same as last year). I'm not sure there will be enough alcohol on hand to even make me consider dancing with co-workers. Mad Men, we ain't.
 
2012-12-03 01:52:02 PM  

basemetal: So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy?


In related news, wanting to simply be compensated for your work based on the time you spend doing that work instead of forced to engage in banal conversation with people you don't really like just because of the date on the calendar makes you "ungrateful, entitled and lazy".

Now that you're ass manager, do you no longer have to wear the pirate outfit?
 
2012-12-03 01:52:53 PM  
They buy us lunch at a decent steakhouse and we go back to the office for quick white elephant gift exchange, putz around a bit and go home early. We also get our usual Christmas bonus of around $500 at the same time. It's not much but we're happy to have jobs. The architecture field is a shadow of itself these days.

/still not participating in the Fartbongo recession
 
2012-12-03 01:53:01 PM  
A party for the end of the world 12-21-12 Mayan Calender theme sound way more fun than the usual holiday party. Too bad it's a one-time event (non-event) as it's cost prohibitive to create single-use costumes. But there's always the fallback possibilities of booze and chicks, so my party trumps yours. Ho ho ho!
 
2012-12-03 01:53:49 PM  

whistleridge: In fairness to my employer, we always have a holiday party, at noon, and then everyone leaves early afterwards. And it's not like we do much beforehand either. So it's celebrating the holidays with our co-workers AND getting time off in one. And we get paid for it.

Also, depending on when Christmas falls, it always seems to be timed in such a way that it's effectively the last 'working' day before the holidays, and we get a day or two off to boot: Christmas is on a Tuesday this year, and our party is on a Thursday. No one will be in that Friday or Monday unless they really want to be, so it's a nice little bonus.


you must work for the State. ;)
 
2012-12-03 01:54:03 PM  
Our holiday party is over lunch and since I plan to go back to work afterwards I don't get to drink. I'm a department head in a manufacturing plant with unionized employees. If I made anybody unhappy in the past few months (which is impossible NOT to do unless I stay home from work) I can expect them to file a grievance about me being at work with alcohol in me.
 
2012-12-03 01:54:53 PM  
I'm always surprised when my work gets us anything, but if they do give us anything this year, I hope it's just cash.

Last year was a camo cap, with the ladies getting pink camo. The ladies were less than pleased...
 
2012-12-03 01:54:56 PM  

basemetal: So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy? Way to slam the workers of America, subbs.


soapbox
Well, let's face it... they are. They have no appreciation for the job they have, the training, time and effort the company puts into employees, and could care less about anyone other than themselves.

This debate is far more convoluted that just this, but let's face it: most (over 50%) of workers don't like their job, their boss, the company, or any combination thereof. I don't think all business owners are ethical, honest, or are beyond reproach either.

It is up to each employee to decide for themselves if they could be better off somewhere else, then go or stay. If the business treats its customers and employees like crap, leaving the company and going somewhere else is the ultimate revenge.
/soapbox

/I actually helped close down a business
//Took me about a year
///I lol'd for a week
 
rka
2012-12-03 01:55:01 PM  
My wife's company has a fairly good party. It's either at a nice hotel downtown, so you get a room, bring a few bottles of wine, pre-party to your heart's content and don't worry about getting trashed. Or, the last few years they've rented out the club level area at the Bronco's football stadium. Decent food, nice bar. Tours of the stadium going on. The person who plans the whole thing is the CEO's executive assistant and my wife and I hang out with her and her husband socially so drink tickets are never an issue. We spend some time there and then a few of us take off for downtown, continue to have a good time and then use the company provided cab vouchers to get home.

All in all, not a bad way to spend the night.
 
2012-12-03 01:55:01 PM  

monoski: hool where first there is a cooking class then a dinner. You would want to slit your wrist with one the kitchen knives.


They make you take part in a cooking class???

Fark it. I would just not show up. If they fired me, I could just apply for unemployment, and say that...well...I got canned for not going to the company Christmas party!

Like they'd deny someone with such a silly claim.
 
2012-12-03 01:55:09 PM  
All I want for Christmas is a job.
 
2012-12-03 01:55:17 PM  
we don't have parties for Christmas. Thank God.
 
2012-12-03 01:55:21 PM  

Vegan Meat Popsicle: In related news, wanting to simply be compensated for your work based on the time you spend doing that work instead of forced to engage in banal conversation with people you don't really like just because of the date on the calendar makes you "ungrateful, entitled and lazy".


I thought his statement was satirical and cynical, not literal.

Could be I've just been trolled.

Personally, I think we should encourage workers to be more lazy; laziness is the mother of efficiency.
 
2012-12-03 01:55:51 PM  

kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.


I hate seeing coworkers in a work setting. But if I stopped coming into the office - eventually the paychecks would stop.
 
2012-12-03 01:56:15 PM  
Office-mandated Cheer & Goodwill always blows. Gift giving is worse: you won't get what you asked for. Then there's the booze & drug-free 'parties'.... the religiotards take command over those.
Have a Pentecostal Christmas!

/would rather have an Xmas
 
2012-12-03 01:57:06 PM  
bullshiat, bullshiat, bullshiat, i work in catering and corporate holiday parties/sales are anywhere CLOSE to where they were before the housing/economy meltdown.
 
2012-12-03 01:57:33 PM  
My clients now are great they have a nice party before we break for the holidays. The best part is since I deal with most departments they usually invite me to their parites so I get loaded up with all types of goodies. My company Im based out of is lame as hell. Their work sanctioned happy hours and parties are even more stressful than work, all the area big wigs come out and watch us the last one I was at I left after an hour because it was just not worth the hassle worse than work. Then I get to go home and get the xmas card from my boss and hiss family on some sunny beach.
 
2012-12-03 01:57:59 PM  

kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.


This.
 
2012-12-03 01:58:25 PM  
Since our division of about 20 broke off from the rest of the company (of about 300) a few years ago (owner kept us, sold the rest of the company) the Christmas parties haven't been too bad. We usually go to a high class restaurant on a Friday after work, all food and booze is paid for, there are prize drawings ($200 Amazon gift card was one last year). The owner goes through the business stuff for about 20 minutes, announces the employee of the year, and then everybody sticks around for a half hour chatting and then heads to a bar for the rest of the night (except for me, I live about an hour away and have children)
 
2012-12-03 01:58:28 PM  
It used to be that you could give an employee anything valued $25 or less and you didn't have to deduct taxes from it. IRS rules have changed. That $25 Target gift card now counts as $25 of income to you, and your company has to hold the taxes out of your paycheck. For a big company, that's a lot of additional transactions that have to be processed, at additional cost/resources from somewhere. Now you can only give a specific item that isn't a "cash equivalent", like a ham.

Now that so many people are actually working as contractors, it's also hard to give time off since that time still gets billed to a client...and if that wasn't part of the contract they're going to say "no".

So basically we live in a world* where not only was Scrooge never visited by ghosts, but he got put in charge of everything.

* whitewhine
 
2012-12-03 01:58:52 PM  
There are some pretty gnarly stories in here haha. Definitely having images of Office Space or The Office.

I work for a large video game company. They have enough money that the xmas parties are usually a big deal. Open bar, live music, catered food, etc. I go because it is free and at the very least I can get hammered and stumble around the dance floor. I agree with the sentiment though that you spend so much time with co-workers that socializing with them is just a bit much.
 
2012-12-03 02:00:15 PM  
We don't have a Christmas party, but we do have a big party for the company's anniversary. I guess I'm the 5% as I love the abundance of good food and top shelf booze.
 
2012-12-03 02:00:45 PM  
We have ours at a banquet hall. The food is catered and the company gives out several thousand dollars worth of gifts and cash via raffle plus a frozen turkey for everyone. We only have about 25 employees.
 
2012-12-03 02:00:53 PM  

China White Tea: I've maintained for years that if the company really wanted me at the Xmas party, it would be on a Friday and start no later than 2pm (it's always on a Thursday evening).


Ditto.

/luckily, no Christmas parties
//owner of the company is Jewish
 
2012-12-03 02:01:20 PM  

basemetal: So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy? Way to slam the workers of America, subbs.


Well, being that I've been around for a few years, I can remember when we had Christmas parties instead of holiday parties and they involved catered food, booze, door prizes (that were actually valuable), sex in the conference room and if Mary showed her boobs, the guys cheered and nothing was said come Monday morning.. The last holiday party I attended was from 4 to 5 in the conference room on a Wednesday. The company provided sodas and everyone brought in food that sucked. So - I'm going to have to back subs on this. I'd rather have the $1.50 and an hour off than hang out with a bunch of people I already spend too much time with.
 
2012-12-03 02:02:13 PM  
Our holiday parties used to be awesome. We rented out the convention space at one of the swankiest hotels in town. Our company president would fly in and buy tons of booze at the liquor store, and we'd all have a very merry time.

Our holiday parties now?

Balloon animals.
A fat employee dressed as santa.
Face painting.
Poorly catered meal.
and the GM giving us a hearty "thank you for busting your tail, enjoy the 50 bucks we invested on all of you for this great party!"

I swear our holiday party is more for kids than for adult employees. It's disgusting. I would rather they just ditch the whole thing rather than force us to see this embarrassment.

And they wonder why our turnover rate went from being non-existent to like 5 - 6 resignations a month. At this rate we wont have any employees by March of next year.

Before someone goes "omg ungrateful employee." I don't care if they do or don't throw a party. I don't want the money they spent on it. I just think if they're going to do something for a holiday party, make it worthwhile and cool. Not call a couple clowns to paint kids faces and make balloon animals, then have our food catered by like farking costco. It's just another subtle reminder of how little the new owners of my company give a shiat about their workers.
 
2012-12-03 02:07:18 PM  
Yeah, and the company I'm at now replaced the holiday party with a luncheon with the execs at the annual meeting... if you volunteered to work the meeting. Two days before the meeting, they announced that no one would get raises or bonuses (but having seen the president's pay, I know that's not entirely true). Time off and bonuses are for slackers and Jews, you dirty slaves, now get back to work.
 
2012-12-03 02:07:35 PM  
I look forward to our small-business office parties... we always go somewhere really nice downtown, rent out a private room, get shiat-faced and talk anything but shop.

We're leaving the office to hit the bar at 4pm and our dinner reservation isn't till 7pm.

Then we send the female employees home and hit up a strip club or call escorts and put plastic sheeting over the conference room table.

I'm conflicted this year though because our cute new HR/admin hire already pilfered my number off our emergency contacts list.
 
2012-12-03 02:08:00 PM  
I liked office parties when I was working at various law firms. Lotsa drama. The secretaries would bring their husband/boyfriend but their personal lives were always something out of a cops episode. So, it would the 3rd husband or Frank the meth addict loser boyfriend who would spice things up. If any of the secretaries or staff were hot they would have half the attorneys trying to hit on them. Worse was the partner who is bonking one of the secretaries and she's at the party, but has to play nice and shows up with the wife. Or the general having to show up with your gf/wife and that coworker you had some impropriety is also there.

Then there are the lawyers who end up a scotch too far and either embarrass themselves with the secretaries, saying some stupid shiat to the managing partner and/or vomiting - that's every year like clockwork. The drunks at the party are usually biatching a little too loud about the firm, their hourly billables or love life disasters. Sometimes there are successful hookups which will be discussed the next week. But unlike television, lawyers are not the best looking people on the planet, so its nothing to be excited about - the thought of lawyers coupling or reproducing is not a pretty thought.

The one good thing is law firm parties I've gone to never tend to be cheap - at club, restaurant, etc. and its ALWAYS open bar.

Recently moved in-house. This year will suck. No lawyers and no open bar. Just middle-aged hags. Bleah.
 
2012-12-03 02:08:31 PM  
Our company has cut so much over the last few years, I'm really surprised we still have one.

It's always at a local restaurant on a Wednesday or Thursday. Last year, the boss didn't even show up.
 
2012-12-03 02:10:15 PM  
Our xmas party last year had a contestant from Iron Chef cooking the meal. It was awesome. But after I found out what they spent on everything. I would have been happy with a gift certificate to Outback and a small raise.
 
2012-12-03 02:12:38 PM  
People at work don't seem to understand that I don't want to spend "my time" with a large group of people that the company has to pay me to associate with in the first place.
 
2012-12-03 02:13:16 PM  
My employer is awesome about the holidays. The entire organization is shutting down Friday at noon before Christmas and we have paid vacation through New Years Day. This is in addition to the 4 other weeks of vacation we are given, as well as 5 sick days
 
2012-12-03 02:13:24 PM  
I am taking the week before Xmas off specifically so I do not have to hang around the office and do stupid holiday BS.
 
2012-12-03 02:16:13 PM  

Nitrox: My employer is awesome about the holidays. The entire organization is shutting down Friday at noon before Christmas and we have paid vacation through New Years Day. This is in addition to the 4 other weeks of vacation we are given, as well as 5 sick days


My company gives you 2 - 3 weeks of vacation(depending on tenure), which includes your sick days and floating holidays.

Then only gives us the day of xmas off. So we have to be here the monday before, and all the days after until Jan 1. Same story on Thanksgiving. No work Thursday, but you better come back in Friday.

Again, they wonder why their turnover rate has shot through the roof. It never used to be like this until this bastards from the east coast invaded our lovely little company. We went from "we love our employees" to "raise the bottom line, fark the lot of you! you're all replaceable!"

/anyone looking for an IT guy in the Idaho/Oregon/Washington area? Will move for position. Get me away from these people.
 
2012-12-03 02:16:22 PM  
Mr. Coffee Nerves: "Perfect...just polished off the final packet from last year's Hot Cocoa Sampler Box this morning."

+1 internet
 
2012-12-03 02:16:57 PM  
i1151.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-03 02:17:22 PM  

redkingca: People at work don't seem to understand that I don't want to spend "my time" with a large group of people that the company has to pay me to associate with in the first place.


An outstanding summation of my feelings as well.
 
2012-12-03 02:17:29 PM  
I'd appreciate some co-workers if they weren't all out to steal my precious.
 
2012-12-03 02:17:52 PM  
My company has a really big Christmas party. Actually one per division. It's a huge deal, quite fancy.

My wife and I never go. The parties are so big it's possible that we might never bump into anyone we know and we're not social enough to arrange to meet people ahead of time. Plus, why do I want to see my co-workers in a social setting? I like them well enough and I respect them but I don't have any interest in carrying anything to do with work over to my personal life.
 
2012-12-03 02:18:35 PM  
My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours in we were walking out the door. The supervisor of my husbands' department walked up and tried to stop us from leaving. He'd been drinking and was in a fabulous mood. I lost it snapping "We've been here 6 hours! This is not a party. This is a work day. I want to be reimbursed!" We left quite quickly after that.

I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!
 
2012-12-03 02:19:37 PM  

TrainingWheelsNeeded: whistleridge: In fairness to my employer, we always have a holiday party, at noon, and then everyone leaves early afterwards. And it's not like we do much beforehand either. So it's celebrating the holidays with our co-workers AND getting time off in one. And we get paid for it.

Also, depending on when Christmas falls, it always seems to be timed in such a way that it's effectively the last 'working' day before the holidays, and we get a day or two off to boot: Christmas is on a Tuesday this year, and our party is on a Thursday. No one will be in that Friday or Monday unless they really want to be, so it's a nice little bonus.

you must work for the State. ;)


Better. A big pharmaceutical company :p
 
2012-12-03 02:20:20 PM  
After years of no "official" party our new VP -- who was old enough to talk about that whippersnapper Hannibal and his wacky elephant ideas -- put together a real hootenanny.

From 3-4PM on a workday we were all invited to come to the conference room where there were TWO three-liter bottles of Ghetto Cola and a giant bag of popcorn -- the kind that KMart sells in the "So you're totally out of ideas" gift section -- available for your dining pleasure. We also got our "present" -- a cheap color photocopy of the CEO's official portrait.
 
2012-12-03 02:22:37 PM  
When I first started at my company, our Christmas parties were fantastic drunken displays of hilarity. Then we moved to a more family friendly Christmas party without booze, and they were dull and tedious.

Now they just give us bonuses, which is way better.
 
2012-12-03 02:23:08 PM  

Strategeryz0r


My company gives you 2 - 3 weeks of vacation(depending on tenure), which includes your sick days and floating holidays.


What you're talking about here is paid Time Off (PTO), not vacation. Typically vacation time carries some monetary value in that the company will usually pay you for any accrued, unused vacation time if you resign but won't pay you for accrued sick time.
 
2012-12-03 02:23:23 PM  
A good Christmas party is probably a solid bang-for-your-buck investment in keeping employees.

As long as your office environment isn't toxic to the point that nobody wants to be around each other a second more than is necessary.
 
2012-12-03 02:24:20 PM  
Our show is having a holiday party. It's on a Friday at 7PM. Of course, most of us will be working until at least 6 PM, so as usual the party will be mostly interns from the office. And, it's on the 14th, even though we go on a 2 week holiday hiatus after the 21st. So instead of having the party right before the break, we have to come back and work another week after the party.
 
2012-12-03 02:24:29 PM  
I get a large budget to throw the annual party for my team

One year I personally cooked the entire dinner, bought great wines, and had everyone to my home for a nice evening.
- "OTHER departments took their staff out to a nice restaurant and gave them (illegal) gift cards! We don't feel appreciated."

One year I reserved a nice restaurant and had a raffle.
- "The raffle winners got gifts, but most people didn't! And that wasn't personal; you just wrote a check for the evening."

So screw it - no party at all!
- "Everyone else has some form of recognition, except for this department. You want us to work all year and then not recognize us for the work?"

OK, then we'll have a party. Any ideas?
- "We're here enough. Now you want us to come in on our time OFF? Can we bring our spouses?"

Well, I have a fixed budget. If we double the number of attendees, it'll have to be a less nice place. Like my house....

/I am not making this up.
//To be fair, it's only a few that complain like this, but they poison the rest of the team's attitude.
///Every year, about this time, I get crazy anxious about this topic - when it should be a pleasant thing.
 
2012-12-03 02:25:35 PM  

meat0918: I'm always surprised when my work gets us anything, but if they do give us anything this year, I hope it's just cash.

Last year was a camo cap, with the ladies getting pink camo. The ladies were less than pleased...


I once worked for a company that passed out "you are appreciated" caps with the company logo on them the same day they laid several of us off.
 
2012-12-03 02:28:51 PM  

CapeFearCadaver: kid_icarus: CapeFearCadaver: kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.

I've been to a couple of them, they're just weird. Gave my NotRSVP today.

You work here?

Looking over your shoulder right now.


Interesting. Are you hot?
 
2012-12-03 02:29:26 PM  
I guess I'm pretty lucky. I actually like hanging out with my co-workers, some of whom I've known for years prior to working at this company and recruited them. We're having a nice after-hours holiday party with food and a hosted bar and will probably walk to the local tavern afterward. SOs are welcome this year (last two years were employees only). Judging by how busy we've been this last quarter, we should get a little bonus, too. It makes all the sacrifices we made (personal and financial) to survive the Great Recession seem worthwhile.

I feel for those of you who don't like your co-workers. We have to bust our asses to get stuff done in the irrational time frames our clients demand, but it's much easier to keep your collective noses to the grindstone when you all get along. (And when you see the fruits of that labor at the end of the quarter.)
 
2012-12-03 02:30:13 PM  

BMFPitt


As long as your office environment isn't toxic to the point that nobody wants to be around each other a second more than is necessary.


It's not really about toxic vs. non-toxic. I have been lucky enough to work with a lot of great people, and still cannot think of a realistic situation in which spending free time at work with co-workers would be better than not spending free time at work with co-workers.
 
2012-12-03 02:30:40 PM  
Guess I'm one of the few lucky ones. My workplace cuts out early (around noon) and we all head over to a midrange restaurant for a nice dinner and rounds of beer. Then gift baskets are drawn for the employees -- enough for roughly 1/3rd of the staff, so often we go home with extra stuff. Plus we all get our Christmas bonuses. It's usually a pretty good time, actually.
 
2012-12-03 02:30:54 PM  
At FoxConn I heard they strung festive Christmas lights all through the suicide nets.
 
2012-12-03 02:31:31 PM  

dmax: I get a large budget to throw the annual party for my team

Summary: no matter what you do, you're dammed.


Dude, I hear you. I was in charge of such things at a previous office and there's no way you can please even half of the people.

So what I finally did was this: took a poll and asked if people wanted a party, or did they want to go home early?

I had a budget so I divided it up so that, say, it worked out to Y dollars per person. When 20 people wanted a party, I did the math - Y x 20, and used that figure to plan a party at a local restaurant.

The rest of the money I gave out, in equal amounts, to the people who wanted to go home early.

Did that work. Of course not.

"He got to go home early and got a check - that's unfair!"

"She got a nice party at the restaurant, I went home to my cat. That's unfair!"

In the intervening years, both my mother and my brother died at Christmas time, so now I have an "official" excuse to hate the holidays and most people leave me alone about it now.

/not that I'm advocating family murders to avoid the office holiday party . . .
 
2012-12-03 02:31:37 PM  

dahmers love zombie: This probably puts me on some kind of "spectrum" or other. I prefer to think of myself as simply antisocial.


I'm fairly sociable, but I choose the people with whom I socialise on grounds other than "happen to work in the same building".
 
2012-12-03 02:31:53 PM  
On the other hand, I had an ex who worked for a fairly big ad agency. They always had a huge blowout holiday party. Fancy venue, full open bar, catered dinner, sometimes even black tie. Always lots of booze.
 
2012-12-03 02:32:31 PM  
You ever read a story think "Jesus Christ. I hope they're divorced now for his sake." Because I just did.
 
2012-12-03 02:33:55 PM  

BMFPitt: A good Christmas party is probably a solid bang-for-your-buck investment in keeping employees.

As long as your office environment isn't toxic to the point that nobody wants to be around each other a second more than is necessary.


This.
 
2012-12-03 02:34:21 PM  
Christmas party this year is an employee-only breakfast off-site. No family members invited. After that is done, we are expected to come back to the office.

Much better than previous company (WFS) - they just outright did their best to humiliate everyone. Glad I got downsized from that one!
 
2012-12-03 02:35:37 PM  
I work in a pub. Our Christmas parties are *AWESOME*

/Hot female bartender at 12 o'clock.
//Man the torpedoes.
 
2012-12-03 02:35:40 PM  
We have an employee pot luck. The food is usually half decent, half didn't even try. I quit doing the white elephant gift exchange after some woman didn't bother to bring a gift last time, and was still allowed in.

It's really annoying. I'm fed up with my boss this year, so I'm not going. 2 hours out of work (when 1 is already lunch) isn't enough to pretend I'm happy here.

I miss the days of casino nights at fancy hotels. And the bonuses. But mostly, the bonuses.
 
2012-12-03 02:36:52 PM  
I went to my first company party Friday night in the 4 yrs i've worked at my job. It was at the local country club it's been at for the last 55yrs. It was as underwhelming as i thought. Especially since this year they cut out the 1 free drink coupon. Most of us grunts can't afford a $8 bottle of beer. Plus no confirmation if we are getting a bonus. Perhaps spare the expense and give us a few bucks more for bonus or put the money toward infrastructure of our network
 
2012-12-03 02:37:15 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: At FoxConn I heard they strung festive Christmas lights all through the suicide nets.


You are on a roll today :-)
 
2012-12-03 02:38:52 PM  
No frigging way I am going to this years office party

last year I was the youngest person there by 15 years, stuck next to the biatchy fat chain smoker in accounting. Made stupid small talk with people I can't stand and got the fark out. Nobody there has anything in common, and the president of the company sits there with his trophy wife and a fake smile on his wife having small talk with his employees he barely even talks to at work.

I haven't got a raise or a bonus in two and half years, if they are offended by not showing up then fark em.
 
2012-12-03 02:40:58 PM  

propasaurus: On the other hand, I had an ex who worked for a fairly big ad agency. They always had a huge blowout holiday party. Fancy venue, full open bar, catered dinner, sometimes even black tie. Always lots of booze.


Yes, working in advertising can be fun sometimes :-)
 
2012-12-03 02:43:49 PM  
I worked for a company that would have a "Summer Social" every year. The idea was to bring the employees of the two remote offices (Florida and San Jose) up to the main office in Boston, have an outing somewhere, get to know everyone, etc. Pretty normal stuff, except...

The remote office employees were flown in on a Saturday, the outing was on a Sunday, and they'd fly home that evening. Attendance was mandatory. Spouses / family were not invited. Employees of the Boston office were encouraged to "host" members of the remote offices (invite them to stay with them Saturday night at their homes) instead of booking hotels to cut costs for lodging and transportation. Many opted for paying their own hotels out of pocket, naturally. Some members of those offices were transplants from Boston, thus had family in the area. When they asked if they could extend their stay past Sunday and take vacation time, having their flights scheduled for a later time in the week, the answer was "Only if you don't take vacation time and instead work in the Boston office for the extra days while you are visiting with them in the evenings."

The outing itself was... interesting. The COO and the CEO each had a sailing yacht in Boston Harbor. They decided it would be fun to split the company into two "teams" and race the yachts. Except that there was a crew, so we basically sat there on deck and watched these two titans of industry have a pissing contest with their yachts all day, ate some sandwiches from Panera, and then were told to go on our way at 4pm. Guests from out of town were shown where to catch the subway to the airport.

The "holiday party" was always scheduled, coincidentally, on the same date the office building in which we rented space decided to hold theirs in the lobby. So management just sorta rode their coat-tails, and let everyone go an hour early.
 
2012-12-03 02:44:35 PM  
Why don't those workers put up the capital and start their own company. They can then take all the cash and holidays they like.
 
2012-12-03 02:44:41 PM  
images1.wikia.nocookie.net
disappoint party planning committee has a disappoint
 
2012-12-03 02:44:58 PM  

eagles95: I went to my first company party Friday night in the 4 yrs i've worked at my job. It was at the local country club it's been at for the last 55yrs. It was as underwhelming as i thought. Especially since this year they cut out the 1 free drink coupon. Most of us grunts can't afford a $8 bottle of beer. Plus no confirmation if we are getting a bonus. Perhaps spare the expense and give us a few bucks more for bonus or put the money toward infrastructure of our network


I'm guessing it's because your boss (or multiple higher ups in the company) belong to that country club and "it just wouldn't do" to have an official company party anywhere else. It's not about you; it's about them and maintaining appearances. I'm sure there will be chatter at the club about how "poor Charlie's company couldn't afford the drink tickets this year's holiday party. Tsk, tsk, business must be down this year."
 
2012-12-03 02:45:55 PM  
Our office party is meh. But free food and goofy games that are usually entertaining, so I'll go

The building office party, hosted by the building management company is usually pretty good though. Pretty decent free food and booze and giveaways. Plus the always amusing parade of other companies secretaries getting wasted and making a scene. Good Times.
 
2012-12-03 02:47:52 PM  

whistleridge: In fairness to my employer, we always have a holiday party, at noon, and then everyone leaves early afterwards. And it's not like we do much beforehand either. So it's celebrating the holidays with our co-workers AND getting time off in one. And we get paid for it.


It also means your employer doesn't have to cover your spouses like they would at the christmas dinner.
 
2012-12-03 02:47:57 PM  
We have a Christmas party for lunch time on a Friday before vacations, during work time in company conference room the size of a warehouse. All 350+ of us eat together, participate on the raffle for some good stuff (smallest is a $50 gift card, as expensive as a 32" LCD TV). Then everyone leaves early. Additionally, every area or department does theri own employee sponsored pothluck, with mixed results depending on who cooks. And we used to have our own department sponsored Christmas lunch in an outside location, for the office people. They just slashed that this morning. But the boss said he would take us out for a few beers at the local watering hole, so it is not so bad. All things considered, it is OK because I actually like the group of engineers I hang out with.
 
2012-12-03 02:49:01 PM  
This thread makes me feel better about my job and workplace.
 
2012-12-03 02:49:23 PM  
Before Bain Capital took over my company: leave work early on Friday, then the department holiday party at night at a good restaurant, usually steak or lobster, plenty of drinks, and even a bonus check if we had a good season. We all felt like part of a family, although a somewhat dysfunctional one.

After Bain Capital took over my company: Office luncheon on a Wednesday afternoon with all of the other departments that we don't even deal with. Pretty lame food. No alcohol of course, since it's the middle of a work day. They tried some lame games in the past but I think this year they'll give up on those since most people just abandon ship and go back to their desks. No bonus checks anymore, even if we have a kick-ass season.

If you are working at a company that is about to be bought up by a venture capital firm...just get the hell out while you can. You'll be glad you did.
 
2012-12-03 02:49:37 PM  
I get to be flown in to Ottowa for a party. That's fun, huh? Woo. Ottowa.
 
2012-12-03 02:49:51 PM  
Our companies 'Christmas Party' is scheduled for Feb 9th this year...
Perhaps they get a better rate at that time of year...
Feb 9th is a Saturday and I live 35miles from my job...
Was told this morning that all 'professional and management' employees are expected to come...

/Wont be going again this year
//FTJ
 
2012-12-03 02:50:05 PM  

Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours in we were ...


Wow so for 1 f-ing day out of the year or so you couldn't put on a poker face to support your husbands career ? No one likes to do it but you suck it up. it is what you are supposed to do. You got your husband singled out because you had to act like an ass at a company event and believe me all of those people remember you. If you had said anything about a resume in front of his boss and co-workers I certainly hope for your sake you were the primary bread winner. Somehow I bet your husband when asked to interact with your co-workers or work related events was probably well behaved and civil.
 
2012-12-03 02:50:07 PM  

stewbert: We have an employee pot luck.


Ya'll are going to think I'm crazy, but the best office party I ever attended was a semi-planned potluck. I worked in a department where several of us could really, I mean really, cook. We brought in church potluck sized dishes and hosted people from other departments for lunch. Among the dishes we enjoyed was the best spinach soup I ever tasted, Jamaican curry, spicy African style collards, Italian green beans Almondine, homemade cornbread and a variety of homemade desserts. There were no speeches or nonsense. We didn't have to come in after work or stay late. The food was great. And our supervisor enjoyed his meal so much, he let us leave work an hour early.
 
2012-12-03 02:50:48 PM  
Two years ago at the Christmas party, the big boss showed up with his girlfriend - instead of his wife. I just shrugged, thinking it was none of my business.

Flash forward - the big boss "resigned" two months ago when it turned out he was using the office credit card to pay for his fling. His girlfriend, who also worked here, also got canned. Meanwhile, my department has lost two other bosses as the scandal grew, some getting caught and the others jumping ship.

Maybe I should go this year to try to figure out who's getting fired next.
 
2012-12-03 02:50:55 PM  

Strategeryz0r: Nitrox: My employer is awesome about the holidays. The entire organization is shutting down Friday at noon before Christmas and we have paid vacation through New Years Day. This is in addition to the 4 other weeks of vacation we are given, as well as 5 sick days

My company gives you 2 - 3 weeks of vacation(depending on tenure), which includes your sick days and floating holidays.

Then only gives us the day of xmas off. So we have to be here the monday before, and all the days after until Jan 1. Same story on Thanksgiving. No work Thursday, but you better come back in Friday.

Again, they wonder why their turnover rate has shot through the roof. It never used to be like this until this bastards from the east coast invaded our lovely little company. We went from "we love our employees" to "raise the bottom line, fark the lot of you! you're all replaceable!"

/anyone looking for an IT guy in the Idaho/Oregon/Washington area? Will move for position. Get me away from these people.


ESI and WinCo Foods are always looking for talent
 
2012-12-03 02:52:36 PM  

Person: You ever read a story think "Jesus Christ. I hope they're divorced now for his sake." Because I just did.


Yes, about 10 minutes ago actually.
 
2012-12-03 02:56:53 PM  

LasersHurt: I get to be flown in to Ottowa for a party. That's fun, huh? Woo. Ottowa.


Ottawa? can be fun depending on where the party is.
 
2012-12-03 03:00:01 PM  
i'm just ready for my 20% bonus check..i could careless about any party..come on Dec 31st
 
2012-12-03 03:02:07 PM  

moothemagiccow: whistleridge: In fairness to my employer, we always have a holiday party, at noon, and then everyone leaves early afterwards. And it's not like we do much beforehand either. So it's celebrating the holidays with our co-workers AND getting time off in one. And we get paid for it.

It also means your employer doesn't have to cover your spouses like they would at the christmas dinner.


Why on Earth would I want to drag my spouse to a work function where she doesn't know anyone and can't really relax? No...she meets me and the co-workers I'm good friends with for beer after we leave around 3:30.
 
2012-12-03 03:02:09 PM  
Our Christmas party is getting scaled down this year, but it is mostly the opposite of everything you miserable sons of b*tches are complaining about.

1. Noon: pot-luck, BYOB (drinking encouraged and plus we know how to make great food)
2. 1300: White elephant gift exchange (always has been a riot)
3. 1400: Corn-hole tournament (drinking encouraged)
4. 1600-1800: a break to go get your spouse and wait for babysitter, or just keep drinking
5. 1800-whenever: catered dinner, live band, open bar

The "cut backs" this year make it so that the evening party is on the same day as the pot luck and that we're having it at the site which is a fine place for a casual party. We have several casual parties throughout the year. We also get Christmas gifts, occasional annual bonuses, lots of vacation and sick PTO.
 
2012-12-03 03:02:29 PM  

wildcardjack: I'd appreciate some co-workers if they weren't all out to steal my precious.


That's exactly how I feel every day.

~Frodo

P.S. F*** Sam. Coney eating bastard.
 
2012-12-03 03:02:41 PM  

kindms: Wow so for 1 f-ing day out of the year or so you couldn't put on a poker face to support your husbands career ?


Post your address and I'll pack him in a box and mail him to you.
And, actually people did remember me ... and slunk forward to admit they didn't enjoy mandatory "parties" that lasted 6 to 12 hours and involved ignorant as h-e-double hockey sticks HR employees harassing them and their spouses. FYI, Miss Priss was let go long ago. Seems making unreasonable demands of others was not party only behavior.
 
2012-12-03 03:03:05 PM  
The invite for my division's holiday party last year was sent out a few days after announcing that they were canceling the yearly bonus for everyone in a non-management position.

The head of our division decided to host it at his swanky country club. It was not accessible by public transportation so none of us minions could get there.

/Our division head doesn't even try to hide the fact that he's a dick.
 
2012-12-03 03:03:33 PM  

diaphoresis: basemetal: So, 95% of workers are ungrateful , entitled and lazy? Way to slam the workers of America, subbs.

soapbox
Well, let's face it... they are. They have no appreciation for the job they have, the training, time and effort the company puts into employees, and could care less about anyone other than themselves.

This debate is far more convoluted that just this, but let's face it: most (over 50%) of workers don't like their job, their boss, the company, or any combination thereof. I don't think all business owners are ethical, honest, or are beyond reproach either.

It is up to each employee to decide for themselves if they could be better off somewhere else, then go or stay. If the business treats its customers and employees like crap, leaving the company and going somewhere else is the ultimate revenge.
/soapbox

/I actually helped close down a business
//Took me about a year
///I lol'd for a week


It looks like Mitt is out of his post-election funk and posting on the web again.
Buy Ann something nice, we hear she is depressed, perhaps you could have one of you houses painted white for her.
 
2012-12-03 03:03:58 PM  
i never go, even when "mandatory".

Fark it, after work is "my time". If I have to work and get something done, that's one thing. I've never left in the middle of something (I've worked through the night many times). But stay during my own time for that? No thanks.


Same goes for "team lunches".. If I can really blow off 2hrs, let me work instead then leave at 3. No dice? Ok then. Now I see, you're just flipping things to obligate me to work late instead.


Life is too short. Family and friends get priority. I don't see enough of either as is. I'm not going to impress the boss after hours.

I'm positive I won't regret this on my death bed. Nobody in the world has regretted not showing up to office parties.
 
2012-12-03 03:04:05 PM  
Holiday party was last Friday. Spent $20 on two tickets to it a month ago. Woman I just started dating already had plans. At the last minute, she invited me to the hockey game with her friends. I gladly accepted.

Wise decision.
 
2012-12-03 03:04:56 PM  

Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours in we were ...


Your husband kind of sounds like a douche.
 
2012-12-03 03:05:48 PM  

sodomizer: There are no office parties.


I sure felt like I was partying the year I won the office beer pong and wii racing contests. Guess I was wrong.
 
2012-12-03 03:05:55 PM  
I work from home, like hundreds of miles from the nearest branch of my company, so I imagine I'll probably get drunk on a bottle of wine one of these days in the next couple of weeks when I know I won't be getting any calls.

My wife's company throws 2 parties a year.

Last christmas was spent in Denver, a bus to Pikes Peak, a trip to go Snow-tubing at Copper Mountain, and plenty of bar trips. They flew everyone and their families there for that.

This summer everyone was flown to Louisville, we did a tour of 2 horse farms, a distillery, and had lunch at some inn out in the country. We also went out every night and got trashed at the area bars.

Here in January we're all being flown to Jacksonville and are staying down in St. Augustine at a Bed&Breakfast, with obvious drinking and food at good restaurants.

/It's good to be married to the owner's daughter.
//There's only about 9 employees, so the costs aren't insane.
 
2012-12-03 03:06:16 PM  

Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!


This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?
 
2012-12-03 03:06:19 PM  
My company stopped having Christmas parties a few years ago. It just got too expensive. We used to have these all-day Christmas meetings with a nice lunch and an afternoon of "fun" activities. I farking hated them. The activities were lame and, even though booze was served, I never drink before 6pm and I never drink and drive. So I was quite happy when they did away with the day meeting/party and did an evening party at some upscale meeting facility - happy because I didn't have to go. I hate big parties and office parties most especially.
 
2012-12-03 03:07:44 PM  
In years past I've had great Christmas parties at work and not so great Christmas parties... all in all a net positive. I used to worry about bonuses and such but I've learned to be damned appreciative of anything I do or do not get these days... mind you I work at a fairly decent place and the management is respectful. If this weren't the case, I'd be flinging all kinds of shiat...
 
2012-12-03 03:08:01 PM  
For my business, we used to have Christmas dinners until the employees said they'd rather have money instead. So now they get a decent amont of money and it actually costs me less, so we all are happy.
 
2012-12-03 03:08:12 PM  

Strategeryz0r: Nitrox: My employer is awesome about the holidays. The entire organization is shutting down Friday at noon before Christmas and we have paid vacation through New Years Day. This is in addition to the 4 other weeks of vacation we are given, as well as 5 sick days

My company gives you 2 - 3 weeks of vacation(depending on tenure), which includes your sick days and floating holidays.

Then only gives us the day of xmas off. So we have to be here the monday before, and all the days after until Jan 1. Same story on Thanksgiving. No work Thursday, but you better come back in Friday.

Again, they wonder why their turnover rate has shot through the roof. It never used to be like this until this bastards from the east coast invaded our lovely little company. We went from "we love our employees" to "raise the bottom line, fark the lot of you! you're all replaceable!"

/anyone looking for an IT guy in the Idaho/Oregon/Washington area? Will move for position. Get me away from these people.


EIP
 
2012-12-03 03:08:50 PM  

Egoy3k: Our holiday party is over lunch and since I plan to go back to work afterwards I don't get to drink. I'm a department head in a manufacturing plant with unionized employees. If I made anybody unhappy in the past few months (which is impossible NOT to do unless I stay home from work) I can expect them to file a grievance about me being at work with alcohol in me.


Wow. You and I have so much in common it's frightening. Being in charge of unionized employees is........ challenging.
 
2012-12-03 03:09:26 PM  
We are getting dinner at red lobster and a cash bonus of some sort.

When I worked in NYC the boss had the christmas party at Delmonicos Steakhouse. Its a classy place. Everyone got steak dinner and it was completely open bar. I was drinking johnny blue at $45 a glass. At any rate one of the junior brokers got completely smashed and started a fight. He got thrown across a table and that ended the party pretty quickly. I got a decent bonus that year too.

/csb
 
2012-12-03 03:10:26 PM  
We have a decent party with good food. They have an open bar, but I don't drink so it's not as spliffy for me. Now if they had 'special brownies' I'd be a very happy camper...lol.

/just happy to have a job really
 
2012-12-03 03:12:02 PM  

olapbill: LasersHurt: I get to be flown in to Ottowa for a party. That's fun, huh? Woo. Ottowa.

Ottawa? can be fun depending on where the party is.


That's where I am. Run. Run like the wind.
 
2012-12-03 03:12:16 PM  

Lunaville: kindms: Wow so for 1 f-ing day out of the year or so you couldn't put on a poker face to support your husbands career ?

Post your address and I'll pack him in a box and mail him to you.
And, actually people did remember me ... and slunk forward to admit they didn't enjoy mandatory "parties" that lasted 6 to 12 hours and involved ignorant as h-e-double hockey sticks HR employees harassing them and their spouses. FYI, Miss Priss was let go long ago. Seems making unreasonable demands of others was not party only behavior.


So in your mind it was validation that "some people" didn't enjoy mandatory parties. I can't believe your husband is still married to you to be honest. You couldn't keep your mouth or emotions in check in front of the very few people who could make your husbands life easier or harder.

You then go on to post later that you are lucky because your "supervisor liked the food so much he let us leave early". 1) if you were in a job with any authority or were making any significant amounts of money you would never need a supervisor to tell you it is ok to leave, you just do it.

So not only did you essentially cause a scene at atleast 2 xmas parties, you embarrassed your husband in front of his co-workers and you are brash enough to brag about it.

Must be AWESOME to be married to you.
 
2012-12-03 03:12:40 PM  

WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?



lol - THIS.

/I'm sure she's blast at parties
 
2012-12-03 03:13:23 PM  
I live in San Francisco and have lots of friends who work for big-money tech companies or youthful startups, so I've heard about some insanely awesome Christmas parties. My husband's company did a huge live-band karaoke thing a couple years ago. Pretty awkward to watch your head of HR do karaoke on a stage in front of 500 people. Luckily, there was much alcohol. My own company tends to follow the economy. Our big boozy lunches of years past have devolved into half-glasses of champagne at my CEO's apartment over the past few years. This year, however, in a sign of the improving times, we're back to restaurants. I know things will have really turned around when they start allowing us to bring guests.
 
2012-12-03 03:15:08 PM  

WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?


It really wasn't about him. It was about a company and its' deranged HR people who thought they had bought outright their employees and along with their families. It's the only company I've ever heard of that has even attempted to make spouse attendance at functions mandatory. How the hell do you make anything mandatory for people who do not work for you?
 
2012-12-03 03:15:14 PM  
We are having another great party this year at a local Winery. It is fully catered, drinks are included and you can bring a significant other.

We should also be getting a decent profit sharing bonus (2-3% of salary)

On top of that we are shut down the entire week of Xmas as a paid holiday.

/Love my job
 
2012-12-03 03:16:06 PM  
Put me in the 'Not Attending' category.
 
2012-12-03 03:19:31 PM  

Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours in we were w ...


You must be a real joy at parties- ...ohhhh.
 
2012-12-03 03:21:49 PM  

argylez: WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?


lol - THIS.

/I'm sure she's blast at parties


Are you people nuts? I defy you to spend 6 hours at a mandatory "party" and consider that reasonable. There are people on this thread that won't even go to their own company parties for heavens' sake.
 
2012-12-03 03:22:15 PM  
I've got the Christmas party next week. It's director level and above only. Open bar, slutty trophy wives and girlfriends dressing to impress. What's not to like?
 
2012-12-03 03:24:34 PM  
Last year we rented out Six Flags, which sounds cool except it was cold and raining, and I was out of town. This year is a Vegas theme apparently, so probably craps and blackjack, etc. but it's at our headquarters, in a huge convention type space. They're usually ok. Get a few drinks free included, then slip the bartender a few bucks to keep em coming. Always good post parties, but my co-workers like to drink. A lot,
 
2012-12-03 03:29:02 PM  
Usually a few snack platters, drinks, cookies, and what not put out in the lobby with some decorations on the last day that isn't explicitly a holiday. No awkward party atmosphere, no loud kids, just a chance to wish people a nice time and grab a bite. Vastly, preferred to the alternatives.
 
2012-12-03 03:29:55 PM  

Lunaville: argylez: WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?


lol - THIS.

/I'm sure she's blast at parties

Are you people nuts? I defy you to spend 6 hours at a mandatory "party" and consider that reasonable. There are people on this thread that won't even go to their own company parties for heavens' sake.


My wife's company party was a blast! Food, adult drinks, and fun. We stayed for the gambling (play money for prizes). It was so much fun, I can't wait until this year. They had professional tables, with craps, texas hold em, 21, and even video taped horse racing. I would estimate we were there for about 5-6 hours. Maybe you are just a sour puss?
 
2012-12-03 03:31:18 PM  

Raider_dad: [img357.imageshack.us image 525x410]

/hot like a sampler box.


But I don't own a Kurig you insensative clod.

//It broke recently, debating between a new one for Christmas and something expensive that takes unground beans and makes you coffee...
 
2012-12-03 03:32:06 PM  

vevolis: I work at a fairly decent place and the management is respectful. If this weren't the case, I'd be flinging all kinds of shiat...


This is very important and sadly rare. My company's philosophy is "Health, Family, Work" in that order, and as it turns out we employees get sh*t done and keep our customers happy.

GladGirl: Pretty awkward to watch your head of HR do karaoke on a stage in front of 500 people.


I did cause a few blushing faces when I did "Chocolate Salty Balls" in karaoke at last year's party... waaaaay too early in the evening.
 
2012-12-03 03:32:39 PM  

Lunaville: It really wasn't about him.

"My husband and I left and argued for three days."

(Your husband was angry you made a scene)

I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". (Your husband insisted you come along because people wanted to meet the kids.)

"I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave." (Damn mean-spirited husband hijacking you.) 

At any rate, you go on and on about how the people at the party were mandating you stay. Did you ever think that possibly... just possibly... your husband wanted to stay? Doesn't sound like he gets much joy otherwise.

I lost it snapping "We've been here 6 hours! This is not a party. This is a work day. I want to be reimbursed!" (Because normal, generally happy people behave this way...)
 
2012-12-03 03:33:15 PM  
If the "party" was more than a "bar meetup," and there was something to celebrate, I might go to ours.

But they owe me a couple thousand in unpaid commission, and the bank's foreclosing on the building, so I'm not exactly in a celebratory mood.
 
2012-12-03 03:34:19 PM  

Artisan Sandwich: Egoy3k: Our holiday party is over lunch and since I plan to go back to work afterwards I don't get to drink. I'm a department head in a manufacturing plant with unionized employees. If I made anybody unhappy in the past few months (which is impossible NOT to do unless I stay home from work) I can expect them to file a grievance about me being at work with alcohol in me.

Wow. You and I have so much in common it's frightening. Being in charge of unionized employees is........ challenging.


Yeah a common question in our plant is, "If this is a good union what is a 'combative' one like, and who are these superhumans who mange them?"
 
2012-12-03 03:35:16 PM  

JusticeandIndependence: They had professional tables, with craps, texas hold em, 21, and even video taped horse racing. I would estimate we were there for about 5-6 hours. Maybe you are just a sour puss?


I won a Gary Fisher mountain bike at a similar event. I could NOT lose at craps that year! And then a bunch of us rented a suite in the hotel where the party was, and we kept it going until 3am when we were ordered to shut it down. People were sleeping in the middle of the floor in tuxes on throw pillows. I was riding my bike around the suite. Talk a bout a damn good company party.
 
2012-12-03 03:35:23 PM  
Not participating in company events & parties was (probably) one factor in my getting laid off a few years ago...

/ still, i wouldn't have done anything different
// hanging out with a bunch of "type-A" personalities and sociopaths just isn't my thing...
 
2012-12-03 03:38:12 PM  
Was once subjected to a whole family party at my ex's boss' house. It was a nice house, nice food, etc, but i had a nine month old and a five year old, and the party was in the evening...

Best employee party i've been to was at Dooley's playing pool. They had door prizes, I won a 400 walmart gift card. Not much in the way of food and you had to buy your own drinks however.

Have been to a few others, but those two stand out
 
2012-12-03 03:41:46 PM  

Lunaville: argylez: WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?


lol - THIS.

/I'm sure she's blast at parties

Are you people nuts? I defy you to spend 6 hours at a mandatory "party" and consider that reasonable. There are people on this thread that won't even go to their own company parties for heavens' sake.


I'm kind of your side on this. I would look for every possiblility to get out of a wife's or girlfriend's office party. "Mandatory party" is a phrase that shouldn't exist.
 
2012-12-03 03:42:45 PM  
No company party here, ever. And I'm great with that. The two supervisors from our little group invite all of us down to the local brewpub starting about an hour before we would usually leave work and pony up for decent hot snacks and drinks for a couple of hours at most. You are free to go or not go, stay for one drink or six. The nice part is I actually LIKE the people I work with, and we work some long hours during the year. The opportunity to just relax for an hour over a drink is fun.

We are having potluck lunch this friday, which is always awesome because it involves the whole group, about 35 people (as opposed to my little subset group of about 14 people) of many nationalities. We set up in the auditorium and everything else (soda, tableware, etc) is provided. Big lunch and tons of home made goodies! Then we all go back to our desks after a couple of hours and fark off till time to go home.
 
2012-12-03 03:44:09 PM  

DIGITALgimpus: i never go, even when "mandatory".

Fark it, after work is "my time". If I have to work and get something done, that's one thing. I've never left in the middle of something (I've worked through the night many times). But stay during my own time for that? No thanks.


Same goes for "team lunches".. If I can really blow off 2hrs, let me work instead then leave at 3. No dice? Ok then. Now I see, you're just flipping things to obligate me to work late instead.


Life is too short. Family and friends get priority. I don't see enough of either as is. I'm not going to impress the boss after hours.

I'm positive I won't regret this on my death bed. Nobody in the world has regretted not showing up to office parties.


I feel the same way. When one of our executives starts gushing about how we are a family, I vomit in my throat a bit. My workmates are workmates and nothing more. They aren't my friends and they damned sure aren't my family. I can understand that younger people may make friends at work and want to spend time with them, but I think it would be better to spend that time outside of a corporate gathering. And one has to be careful. Our CEO watches people like a hawk at these functions. If he thinks you've got drunk, you won't get fired, but you can sure kiss any promotions goodbye. To me, this alone made it not worth the risk. I'll work at work and party elsewhere, with real friends.
 
2012-12-03 03:44:18 PM  

ahchoo: God Is My Co-Pirate: We have the shiattiest office parties ever. Like, legendarily bad. We pay for our own food, there's no alcohol, and we're expected to be back at our desks by 2:00 p.m. Nothing like watching stone-cold-sober civil servants do the macarena at lunch time. One year we had a magician going table-to-table doing tricks with elastic bands. He kept trying to guess which card we'd chosen, and failing. After four wrong attempts we just asked him to go. Then the fat girl in HR sings carols.

Another year, we had to make nativity scenes out of the food and centrepieces on our table. I carved a baby Jesus out of a butter pat and hollowed out a bread roll for his manger. Again, sober.

A friend of mine's office is doing an HR "fun training session" plus a potluck.

I swear to god, I don't know what I'd do without the scotch in my desk drawer.

I am so, so sorry. That's just...wow. That's effin horrible.


But on the plus side, I feel much less guilty about farking at work.
 
2012-12-03 03:44:27 PM  

Lunaville


It really wasn't about him.


Of course not. It wasn't about working as a family to support the sole breadwinner, it was about your unemployed, selfish self.
 
2012-12-03 03:46:56 PM  
ts1.mm.bing.net

Born 50 years too late here in the States.

Our company folks up In Canada - that's a different story. They know how to have fun.
 
2012-12-03 03:48:37 PM  

EVERYBODY PANIC: A party for the end of the world 12-21-12 Mayan Calender theme sound way more fun than the usual holiday party. Too bad it's a one-time event (non-event) as it's cost prohibitive to create single-use costumes. But there's always the fallback possibilities of booze and chicks, so my party trumps yours. Ho ho ho!


I will be hosting a winter soltice/end of the world pagan boozefest. No coworkers invited.
 
2012-12-03 03:50:14 PM  
Lunaville, I'm totally on your side here.

Sounds like a nightmare having to drag young children to a mandatory company party - the worst "social" event known to Man - and be treated like an insubordinate worker bee for not participating in the forced frivolity.
 
2012-12-03 03:50:27 PM  
This white elephant gift exchange is a new one to me....and new for our place this year. Any good suggestions???
 
2012-12-03 03:51:43 PM  

Mudd's woman: This white elephant gift exchange is a new one to me....and new for our place this year. Any good suggestions???


DILDO and LUBE
 
2012-12-03 03:52:56 PM  

Mudd's woman: This white elephant gift exchange is a new one to me....and new for our place this year. Any good suggestions???


A TF subscription.
 
2012-12-03 03:53:02 PM  

Mr. Eugenides: I've got the Christmas party next week. It's director level and above only. Open bar, slutty trophy wives and girlfriends dressing to impress. What's not to like?


I dare you to load up on sauerkraut, Taco Bell, and yogurt before the event, and blow that party up.
 
2012-12-03 03:55:07 PM  
There's a connection between sterilizing all the "holidays" from the precious little snowflakes like atheists and others who are hurt...hurt I tell you at the use of the word Christmas in an office setting. Aaarrg the pain. It hurts. It hurts. The rest of us say, the heck with the charade, I'll just go celebrate Christmas with all my friends and family and really enjoy myself instead of pretending like it ain't Christmas, but magical holiday land. Pffft.
 
2012-12-03 03:56:39 PM  
dahmers love zombie:
faculty

There's your problem. Academics are notoriously kook-a-loo. Anywhere I've worked, half the faculty don't even show up to social functions because they are feuding with other faculty, universally disliked, or just incapable of interacting socially with others in any setting.

Mad Scientist:
You must be a real joy at parties- ...ohhhh.

I dunno, that story sounds wildly entertaining for anyone observing. I do sympathize with "having to stay too long at an event with kids in tow". That's always a bad idea.
 
2012-12-03 03:56:49 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Mr. Eugenides: I've got the Christmas party next week. It's director level and above only. Open bar, slutty trophy wives and girlfriends dressing to impress. What's not to like?

I dare you to load up on sauerkraut, Taco Bell, and yogurt before the event, and blow that party up.


blogs.dallasobserver.com

soundeclipse.files.wordpress.com

ecx.images-amazon.com


Crop Dust.
 
2012-12-03 03:57:27 PM  
p2.la-img.com
 
2012-12-03 03:58:45 PM  
Businesses almost cannot win in any scenario, there will always be someone who is pissed off. We put it up for a vote and let everyone choose what they wanted to do, party, get an extra day off, work the full day but get a mini-bonus etc. Considering not everyone voted the same way, even picking the one that the vast majority chose makes whomever voted for the other options really, really mad that they thought their opinion didn't matter. OR, you have a party and there are scheduling conflicts and XYZ person or their spouses cannot go because of personal plans, so they feel the entire party needs to change dates or times to accommodate them, which isn't possible because nobody's schedules align. It is way easier to tell everyone stfu, this is what we are doing this year. The democratic approach is terrible.

For all of those complaining about bonuses, be happy you have a job. We had some folks that complained. Let's see, cut bonuses and pay slightly - orrrr let people go? Management took 10x the pay cuts that everyone else did, still that doesn't matter, employees are still upset and are selfish. We used to do bonuses and have the whole Vegas themed party with Flat Screen TVs, Blu Ray players etc as prizes. Everyone loved it, but began to EXPECT IT. You ARE NOT FARKING GUARANTEED THAT SHIAT.

At least now business has steadily picked back up so the pay cuts have gone away and raises have been occurring. No real party, nice lunch and off the remainder of the day. Alcohol, 1:30 - 2:00 tops and done. Everyone here has a great work relationship and lots of small groups with personal friendships. I have never understood going all out on a Christmas party itself though, that is a waste of money.
 
2012-12-03 03:59:35 PM  

ChipNASA: dj_spanmaster: Mr. Eugenides: I've got the Christmas party next week. It's director level and above only. Open bar, slutty trophy wives and girlfriends dressing to impress. What's not to like?

I dare you to load up on sauerkraut, Taco Bell, and yogurt before the event, and blow that party up.

[blogs.dallasobserver.com image 297x499]

[soundeclipse.files.wordpress.com image 404x332]

[ecx.images-amazon.com image 300x300]


Crop Dust.


Oh, woah, dude - pickled eggs AND red hots? That's a Nazi-level crime against humanity.

The eggs will seal up your colon like a block of cement, allowing the sausages to ferment until they produce enough gas to blow past the egg block. Once that happens all you can do is call the fire department and the haz-mat team.
 
2012-12-03 04:01:08 PM  

Lernaeus: Lunaville, I'm totally on your side here.

Sounds like a nightmare having to drag young children to a mandatory company party - the worst "social" event known to Man - and be treated like an insubordinate worker bee for not participating in the forced frivolity.


What? You don't love forced interaction with people you don't know and having some "company appropriate" fun? What a lame-o. I'll bet you'll feel pretty stupid when you hear Bob won a free sandwich coupon at Subway.
 
2012-12-03 04:02:30 PM  

the money is in the banana stand: Management took 10x the pay cuts that everyone else did


What's the economy like in bizarro world?
 
2012-12-03 04:02:48 PM  
I dunno, I get cash every year from my family and while it's a lot more practical a life lived based soley on the practical kinda sucks.
 
2012-12-03 04:03:03 PM  

ChipNASA: Mudd's woman: This white elephant gift exchange is a new one to me....and new for our place this year. Any good suggestions???

DILDO and LUBE


ProfessorOhki: Mudd's woman: This white elephant gift exchange is a new one to me....and new for our place this year. Any good suggestions???

A TF subscription.


hmmm...I wonder if doing both suggestions would be too much.
 
2012-12-03 04:03:13 PM  
The company party isn't the only party a lot of you don't attend by the sound of things.
 
2012-12-03 04:04:12 PM  

delsydsoftware: If office holiday parties didn't seem like they were organized by unemployed guidance counselors or kindergarten teachers, we might enjoy them more. Our office went with option C recently, which is the option where you spend no money on employees at all and wonder why they start leaving in droves.


My office just has a weekend party with our sister office, switching the location every other year. We get free food and some free drinks (provided by whatever office director gets to host that year), I got a sorbet and ice cream maker in the white elephant that the SO and roommate actually use on a regular clip, and if you don't want to show up you don't have to.

We get 5 or 6 days off (3 or 4 paid) for Christmas/NYE so I'm cool with the arrangement.

/no bonus though
//could just cash in vacation days and give myself one I suppose
 
2012-12-03 04:04:31 PM  

whistleridge: Why on Earth would I want to drag my spouse to a work function where she doesn't know anyone and can't really relax?


For the free food you're getting in lieu of a christmas bonus. See how that headline works out?
 
2012-12-03 04:05:07 PM  
Volunteered to take Santa pictures at my kid's school just to get out of the office Christmas party. I've been having to get creative with my excuses in the past years, but this time I honestly have something to do.
 
2012-12-03 04:05:38 PM  

Lunaville: One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!"


So for next time, instead of emasculating your husband in front of the people and relationships that define his career, maybe just politely say: "sounds like fun!" and tell your husband afterwords that you's rather not, and enlist him to come up with a creative excuse.

Lunaville: The supervisor of my husbands' department walked up and tried to stop us from leaving. He'd been drinking and was in a fabulous mood. I lost it snapping "We've been here 6 hours! This is not a party. This is a work day. I want to be reimbursed!" We left quite quickly after that.


See above.

You seem to be completely devoid of social grace. And this is coming from one of the rudest and arrogant people I know: me.

I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does. That is, unless you are divorced, in which case I am sorry for the kids, but good for him.
 
2012-12-03 04:08:06 PM  
media.punchingkitty.com

www.trsmfg.com

www.moviequotesandmore.com
 
2012-12-03 04:08:50 PM  

Mudd's woman: ChipNASA: Mudd's woman: This white elephant gift exchange is a new one to me....and new for our place this year. Any good suggestions???

DILDO and LUBE

ProfessorOhki: Mudd's woman: This white elephant gift exchange is a new one to me....and new for our place this year. Any good suggestions???

A TF subscription.

hmmm...I wonder if doing both suggestions would be too much.


A tad. Best just go with a TF Subscription and lube.
 
2012-12-03 04:08:51 PM  

the money is in the banana stand


Businesses almost cannot win in any scenario, there will always be someone who is pissed off. We put it up for a vote and let everyone choose what they wanted to do, party, get an extra day off, work the full day but get a mini-bonus etc. Considering not everyone voted the same way, even picking the one that the vast majority chose makes whomever voted for the other options really, really mad that they thought their opinion didn't matter. OR, you have a party and there are scheduling conflicts and XYZ person or their spouses cannot go because of personal plans, so they feel the entire party needs to change dates or times to accommodate them, which isn't possible because nobody's schedules align. It is way easier to tell everyone stfu, this is what we are doing this year. The democratic approach is terrible.


Why not do a multi-step process? Have a first round of open suggestions and take the top, I dunno, four. Have a second round where everyone votes for one of those four, then choose the top two and have a final vote between them. Everyone's vote counts, assuming they participate, though some will still complain.

It's not like you guys are working anyway. :-)
 
2012-12-03 04:10:21 PM  

Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours in we we ...


I'm sure that your presence at these events is dearly missed.
 
2012-12-03 04:12:05 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Perfect...just polished off the final packet from last year's Hot Cocoa Sampler Box this morning.


Came here to post this.

Source for the n00bs
 
2012-12-03 04:13:30 PM  

moothemagiccow: whistleridge: Why on Earth would I want to drag my spouse to a work function where she doesn't know anyone and can't really relax?

For the free food you're getting in lieu of a christmas bonus. See how that headline works out?


Um...we're neither of us in danger of starving. In no way fat, but also not so desperate for a meal that we would volunteer for an office function just for the food. That's just stupid.

I go, I enjoy myself more or less, and I leave as soon as socially possible, which is usually an hour, max. I work to live, and if my boss doesn't like that...I'll walk. fark that.
 
2012-12-03 04:13:50 PM  

H31N0US: I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does.


What kind of skidmarks does he work for that his wife's "behavior" is a reflection on him?

Who gives a sh*t about his wife; does he do his damn job or not?
 
2012-12-03 04:15:54 PM  
Cash bar, yeah.
 
2012-12-03 04:17:14 PM  

H31N0US: Lunaville: One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!"

So for next time, instead of emasculating your husband in front of the people and relationships that define his career, maybe just politely say: "sounds like fun!" and tell your husband afterwords that you's rather not, and enlist him to come up with a creative excuse.

You might be right, but if her husband was incapable of finding an out for his wife who clearly didn't want to be there along with 2 infants, he likely won't be able to come up with an out for this.

Lunaville: The supervisor of my husbands' department walked up and tried to stop us from leaving. He'd been drinking and was in a fabulous mood. I lost it snapping "We've been here 6 hours! This is not a party. This is a work day. I want to be reimbursed!" We left quite quickly after that.

See above.

Again, anyone who would drag their wife and infants to a "mandatory" office party and remain there for 6 hours, and would allow his colleagues to bully him into remaining, would be clueless of all but the bluntest of messages

You seem to be completely devoid of social grace. And this is coming from one of the rudest and arrogant people I know: me.

I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does. That is, unless you are divorced, in which case I am sorry for the kids, but good for him.

 

I'll agree that her reactions were childish, but that may have been the only way to get the message across
 
2012-12-03 04:18:05 PM  

Lernaeus: H31N0US: I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does.

What kind of skidmarks does he work for that his wife's "behavior" is a reflection on him?

Who gives a sh*t about his wife; does he do his damn job or not?


You assume they meant boss shiat. They probably mean coworker shiat: "Bob and I are going to lunch, want to come? Hey if you want, bring the wife, I know she loves socializing," "this plan to sell X in Q4 is the worst idea since inviting Lunaville to the Xmas party," etc.
 
2012-12-03 04:18:25 PM  

Lernaeus: H31N0US: I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does.

What kind of skidmarks does he work for that his wife's "behavior" is a reflection on him?

Who gives a sh*t about his wife; does he do his damn job or not?


It matters. Especially at these kind of events, or even away trips. Brings the whole group down when one guy is on the phone with his wife apologizing because we went to dinner after working in a remote data center all day and he didn't call to ask her. (True story - the guy spent a half hour on the phone with his wife while we all went back to work while we were out of state at the time.)

Or the guy takes 10 phone calls a day from his wife - (another true story)

Or when the guy has to go home because his wife can't watch the baby and go to the grocery store at the same time - (another true story)

Or when you are confronted as the boss about why your husband didn't get a birthday cake yet. (actually happened to me)

It matters.
 
2012-12-03 04:19:55 PM  
Well yeah, subby, how else am I supposed to proposition the recently divorced milf from admin for a blowjob??
 
2012-12-03 04:20:05 PM  

Parthenogenetic: Mr. Coffee Nerves: Perfect...just polished off the final packet from last year's Hot Cocoa Sampler Box this morning.

Came here to post this.

Source for the n00bs


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-12-03 04:21:06 PM  

Solstice: H31N0US: Lunaville: One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!"

So for next time, instead of emasculating your husband in front of the people and relationships that define his career, maybe just politely say: "sounds like fun!" and tell your husband afterwords that you's rather not, and enlist him to come up with a creative excuse.

You might be right, but if her husband was incapable of finding an out for his wife who clearly didn't want to be there along with 2 infants, he likely won't be able to come up with an out for this.

Lunaville: The supervisor of my husbands' department walked up and tried to stop us from leaving. He'd been drinking and was in a fabulous mood. I lost it snapping "We've been here 6 hours! This is not a party. This is a work day. I want to be reimbursed!" We left quite quickly after that.

See above.

Again, anyone who would drag their wife and infants to a "mandatory" office party and remain there for 6 hours, and would allow his colleagues to bully him into remaining, would be clueless of all but the bluntest of messages

You seem to be completely devoid of social grace. And this is coming from one of the rudest and arrogant people I know: me.

I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does. That is, unless you are divorced, in which case I am sorry for the kids, but good for him. 

I'll agree that her reactions were childish, but that may have been the only way to get the message across


Some important words I am bolding.
 
2012-12-03 04:22:36 PM  

charmingkiddo: No frigging way I am going to this years office party

last year I was the youngest person there by 15 years, stuck next to the biatchy fat chain smoker in accounting. Made stupid small talk with people I can't stand and got the fark out. Nobody there has anything in common, and the president of the company sits there with his trophy wife and a fake smile on his wife having small talk with his employees he barely even talks to at work.

I haven't got a raise or a bonus in two and half years, if they are offended by not showing up then fark em.


Do you live in FL by chance?
 
2012-12-03 04:22:59 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: olapbill: LasersHurt: I get to be flown in to Ottowa for a party. That's fun, huh? Woo. Ottowa.

Ottawa? can be fun depending on where the party is.

That's where I am. Run. Run like the wind.


That's where I am as well. I could find a more than one place to throw a decent Christmas party here. Can't help with the people you would be stuck with at the party, but am free for plus ones to make sure the night is at least entertaining.
 
2012-12-03 04:23:46 PM  
Where I used to work, my director threw a few parties each year at his suburban McMansion. Employees and SOs, no kids. Plenty of alcohol. It wasn't a successful party until some guy's shoes were in the toilet and someone's bra and panties run up the flagpole. There weren't very many unsuccessful parties.
 
2012-12-03 04:25:55 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: charmingkiddo: No frigging way I am going to this years office party

last year I was the youngest person there by 15 years, stuck next to the biatchy fat chain smoker in accounting. Made stupid small talk with people I can't stand and got the fark out. Nobody there has anything in common, and the president of the company sits there with his trophy wife and a fake smile on his wife having small talk with his employees he barely even talks to at work.

I haven't got a raise or a bonus in two and half years, if they are offended by not showing up then fark em.

Do you live in FL by chance?


The weather is farking awesome right now. Going to go swimming.
 
2012-12-03 04:27:56 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: Solstice: H31N0US: Lunaville: One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!"

So for next time, instead of emasculating your husband in front of the people and relationships that define his career, maybe just politely say: "sounds like fun!" and tell your husband afterwords that you's rather not, and enlist him to come up with a creative excuse.

You might be right, but if her husband was incapable of finding an out for his wife who clearly didn't want to be there along with 2 infants, he likely won't be able to come up with an out for this.

Lunaville: The supervisor of my husbands' department walked up and tried to stop us from leaving. He'd been drinking and was in a fabulous mood. I lost it snapping "We've been here 6 hours! This is not a party. This is a work day. I want to be reimbursed!" We left quite quickly after that.

See above.

Again, anyone who would drag their wife and infants to a "mandatory" office party and remain there for 6 hours, and would allow his colleagues to bully him into remaining, would be clueless of all but the bluntest of messages

You seem to be completely devoid of social grace. And this is coming from one of the rudest and arrogant people I know: me.

I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does. That is, unless you are divorced, in which case I am sorry for the kids, but good for him. 

I'll agree that her reactions were childish, but that may have been the only way to get the message across

Some important words I am bolding.


I was actually just bolding my responses to individual responses. Sorry if that somehow offended.
 
2012-12-03 04:28:49 PM  

JusticeandIndependence: Lernaeus: H31N0US: I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does.

What kind of skidmarks does he work for that his wife's "behavior" is a reflection on him?

Who gives a sh*t about his wife; does he do his damn job or not?

It matters. Especially at these kind of events, or even away trips.


Which is why it's best to avoid this shiat to begin with. You're being judged on how well you pretend to have fun.
 
2012-12-03 04:29:41 PM  
mr. teeny's previous employer (an orchard machinery manufacturer) used to rent the second floor of a local restaurant and treated the office workers to a really nice dinner (the prime rib was effing awesome) and free-flowing booze. There was also a raffle with decent prizes, like a tv, a kickass tool set, or a 3d/2n vacation package somewhere.

The owner would always get drunk and a bit obnoxious, and his daughter would get drunk, steal the microphone, and proceed to ignore everyone's burning desire for her to STFU.

That party was for the office workers, and its existence was kept on the down low. The peons that worked on the shop floor were given a catered lunch on site and a raffle with crap like movie tickets.
 
2012-12-03 04:30:58 PM  
Today: state government employee. Chronically-underfunded, 24-hour workplace facility. We *might* get offered cookies and fruit punch some afternoon between now and Xmas.

Decade ago: private industry (finance) doing same IT job. Catered dinner for employees + spouses including open bar, plus lump-sum cash bonus based on seniority and the company's financial performance (was never less than $750ish for me).

Next time you hear some yahoo squawking about cushy government jobs with fat salaries, do ol' Rindred a favor and cut them off with a punch in the mouth. Hard.
 
2012-12-03 04:31:20 PM  

JusticeandIndependence: It matters.


From the examples you cited, maybe - though I'd either not invite the guy along, or give him a good lie to tell his shrew of a wife - but the original issue was the wife being asked by her husband's employer to participate in something she had little interest in doing in a place she didn't want to be while attending to 2 young children that were probably bored, cranky, and uncomfortable, then speculation that he got sh*t for that from coworkers.

Maybe I'm in the minority, here, but (A) I don't expect that others want to participate in the things I want to, (B) don't hold anyone in disregard for not being interested, and (C) certainly wouldn't treat a coworker like dogsh*t because his wife - a total stranger to me - didn't want to take part.

The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.
 
2012-12-03 04:31:21 PM  
/no so CSB on

at my former employeer, a large, internationaly know hospital the christmas party was pretty good. Everyone from the downtown campus would eventually filter into a huge open conference room and the clinic had a nice ice sculpture, decorations, music, fruit, coffee, small pastries, etc. Nothing opulant but they were serving +15,000 potential people during work hours. even so it was nice.... until 2008.

That year Christmas seem to catch them completly off guard. I don't think the date changed but you'd never know it from the way the "party" was handeld. My fellow lab rats and I treked down to the room and hour or so after it was scheduled to start. We were greeted by half a dozen folding tables in the center of this now seemingly caverous room. The catering staff rolled up two table cloths lenght wise, laid them along each of the the folding tables an draped another cloth over the rolls to form what could only be described as a trough. Then they bought out 20lb bags of those fosted cookies you got in grade school and poured them into the troughs. Needless to say we were all dumbstruck. Someone shouted 'Sooooieee! Slop's on." Our group left without so much as touching a cookie and held our own impromptu party at a local establishment.

One would expect more from the institution that keeps Mr. Burns alive, though not if you worked there.

\not so CSB off
 
2012-12-03 04:31:40 PM  

olapbill: LasersHurt: I get to be flown in to Ottowa for a party. That's fun, huh? Woo. Ottowa.

Ottawa? can be fun depending on where the party is.



I wouldn't worry about trying to convince a guy who can't spell a G8 country's capital...

/My SO's party is at the Chateau this year!
//I don't think I own a fancy-enough suit....
 
2012-12-03 04:32:35 PM  

Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours in we were ...


If your husband isn't already farking the receptionist, he should be. I have a pretty good idea he can get get a lot of sympathy farks from his office.
 
2012-12-03 04:33:05 PM  
I work nights, so I either (a) am just waking up when the party starts, or (b) get judged by everyone because I'm getting drunk 30 minutes after waking up. WELL YOU'RE THE ASSHOLES WHO INSISTED EVERYONE COME TO THE PARTY BECAUSE IT'S THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT, AND YEAH, I'M DRUNK AND I HAVE TO START WORK IN 3 HOURS! WOO!
 
2012-12-03 04:34:11 PM  

teeny: That party was for the office workers, and its existence was kept on the down low. The peons that worked on the shop floor were given a catered lunch on site and a raffle with crap like movie tickets.


Ages ago I worked for a place that did this, but they did it for a reason - the party was held at a private club that still excluded blacks, and most of the shop workers were black. I found out at the party, and the following workday I was so embarrassed I couldn't look my black co-workers in the face.

The next year, being young and naive, I mentioned to management that perhaps we should have the party elsewhere, so everyone could attend. I was let go three months later.

/I'm sure it was just a coincidence
 
2012-12-03 04:34:17 PM  

Lernaeus: H31N0US: I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does.

What kind of skidmarks does he work for that his wife's "behavior" is a reflection on him?

Who gives a sh*t about his wife; does he do his damn job or not?


Do you have married friends with wives you don't like ?

It matters like that but with $$$ on the line.
 
2012-12-03 04:35:14 PM  

Lunaville: I hated those parties so much.


Yeah no shiat, I'm sure your husband's career took a serious hit as a result of your behavior. I probably don't have to tell you (because I'm sure he already has, at volume) that you cost your family five figures with your outbursts. In order to make up for you, he probably had to sacrifice a lot at work, and your life got a ton worse, whether you realize it or not.

There are times when not having a wife and family make me feel lonely, and cheated out of the best part of life's majestic tapestry. Reading your remarks is not one of those times.
 
2012-12-03 04:37:00 PM  

ProfessorOhki: They probably mean coworker shiat


That's a bingo, mostly.

In the back of the boss' minds, when they consider the guy for a promotion to a position that could potentially require more social interaction at a senior level, they will remember what the total package entails, and go with someone else.
 
2012-12-03 04:40:47 PM  

kindms: Do you have married friends with wives you don't like ?


Yes, but it makes no difference; he has to deal with her, not me.

She's not my friend or responsibility, and I'm not some buddy of his that's more important than his family.

We punch in, we get our work done, we leave.
 
2012-12-03 04:41:10 PM  

Lernaeus: JusticeandIndependence: It matters.

From the examples you cited, maybe - though I'd either not invite the guy along, or give him a good lie to tell his shrew of a wife - but the original issue was the wife being asked by her husband's employer to participate in something she had little interest in doing in a place she didn't want to be while attending to 2 young children that were probably bored, cranky, and uncomfortable, then speculation that he got sh*t for that from coworkers.

Maybe I'm in the minority, here, but (A) I don't expect that others want to participate in the things I want to, (B) don't hold anyone in disregard for not being interested, and (C) certainly wouldn't treat a coworker like dogsh*t because his wife - a total stranger to me - didn't want to take part.

The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.


First of all, I believe she was exaggerating just a little in her story. Secondly, it was SIX HOURS out of one year. I think she can handle it just a little better than she described.
 
2012-12-03 04:43:08 PM  

Lunaville: WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?

It really wasn't about him. It was about a company and its' deranged HR people who thought they had bought outright their employees and along with their families. It's the only company I've ever heard of that has even attempted to make spouse attendance at functions mandatory. How the hell do you make anything mandatory for people who do not work for you?


Right? Not a christmas story, but my wife's company had a sporting clays outing that I went to, and they expected me to share my $2k shotgun with the rest of the group I was in. Their HR biatches started to lean on me and I was getting angry when the club manager showed up with rental shotguns for people who didn't have them. Don't bring me to your company outing and tell me I'm going to let people use my shiat. Get bent, whore.

Anyways, that was the last of those I went to.
 
2012-12-03 04:47:50 PM  

Strategeryz0r: Our holiday parties used to be awesome. We rented out the convention space at one of the swankiest hotels in town. Our company president would fly in and buy tons of booze at the liquor store, and we'd all have a very merry time.

Our holiday parties now?

Balloon animals.
A fat employee dressed as santa.
Face painting.
Poorly catered meal.
and the GM giving us a hearty "thank you for busting your tail, enjoy the 50 bucks we invested on all of you for this great party!"

I swear our holiday party is more for kids than for adult employees. It's disgusting. I would rather they just ditch the whole thing rather than force us to see this embarrassment.

And they wonder why our turnover rate went from being non-existent to like 5 - 6 resignations a month. At this rate we wont have any employees by March of next year.

Before someone goes "omg ungrateful employee." I don't care if they do or don't throw a party. I don't want the money they spent on it. I just think if they're going to do something for a holiday party, make it worthwhile and cool. Not call a couple clowns to paint kids faces and make balloon animals, then have our food catered by like farking costco. It's just another subtle reminder of how little the new owners of my company give a shiat about their workers.


Wait... so you say employees are loyal to companies that treat them like assets, rather than unwanted but necessary "cost centers"? Huh. Imagine that.
 
2012-12-03 04:48:11 PM  

JusticeandIndependence: First of all, I believe she was exaggerating just a little in her story. Secondly, it was SIX HOURS out of one year. I think she can handle it just a little better than she described.


She handled it far better than I would have; after hour two I would have started lighting people on fire.
 
2012-12-03 04:49:53 PM  

Lernaeus: JusticeandIndependence: It matters.

From the examples you cited, maybe - though I'd either not invite the guy along, or give him a good lie to tell his shrew of a wife - but the original issue was the wife being asked by her husband's employer to participate in something she had little interest in doing in a place she didn't want to be while attending to 2 young children that were probably bored, cranky, and uncomfortable, then speculation that he got sh*t for that from coworkers.

Maybe I'm in the minority, here, but (A) I don't expect that others want to participate in the things I want to, (B) don't hold anyone in disregard for not being interested, and (C) certainly wouldn't treat a coworker like dogsh*t because his wife - a total stranger to me - didn't want to take part.

The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.


One CAN be bored at a party and not act like a total twat. It's called self-respect.
 
2012-12-03 04:50:00 PM  

Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.

make a shiatload more money than I do
 
2012-12-03 04:50:27 PM  
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2012-12-03 03:50:14 PM

Lunaville, I'm totally on your side here.

Sounds like a nightmare having to drag young children to a mandatory company party - the worst "social" event known to Man - and be treated like an insubordinate worker bee for not participating in the forced frivolity.



Ain't no party like a Liz Lemon party because a Liz Lemon party is mandatory.
 
2012-12-03 04:54:40 PM  

Molavian: Right? Not a christmas story, but my wife's company had a sporting clays outing that I went to, and they expected me to share my $2k shotgun with the rest of the group I was in. Their HR biatches started to lean on me and I was getting angry when the club manager showed up with rental shotguns for people who didn't have them. Don't bring me to your company outing and tell me I'm going to let people use my shiat. Get bent, whore.


Common theme is that a lot of HR people are morons who mistake their role as personnel administrators as one of power.

I wouldn't have even brought my own gun though. It's their party, they can supply the favors.
 
2012-12-03 04:57:10 PM  
The holiday party culture is still going strong in NYC. It hasn't let up on the 20 years since I moved here. It is always at a separate bar or restaurant or catering hall, and there is always food, booze, and music. At my current company, we do technically have ours in the afternoon from 2pm to 6pm, but it is at a venue where the booze and food are free flowing. And, it is always on a Friday, so you don't have to worry about work the next day. And, of course, being NYC, no one really has to worry about driving home.

My co-workers actually like each other, and we end up doing an extended bar crawl after the main party--what we call the "after party" and the "after after party"--a lot of people participate. My last memory of the holiday 2011 party was doing a karaoke of "Jingle Bell Rock" at what I guess was the fifth or sixth bar around midnight. It was some kind of gay cowboy ugly, and I'm not even sure it was a karaoke bar, but there were still about 20 of us left, and we wanted to sing, dammit.
 
2012-12-03 04:59:55 PM  

H31N0US: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important. make a shiatload more money than I do


So ... be a corporate whore, submit to others, castrate your personality, and make your wife "behave," and you'll make more money?

No, thanks. I've got a little self-respect left.
 
2012-12-03 05:02:42 PM  
started telecommuting this year. Received an invitation to a "virtual holiday party," along with instructions to take a picture of a white elephant gift and send it to the organizer. WTF do I do with this?
 
2012-12-03 05:04:41 PM  
A holiday party? What's that? I haven't seen a corporate one around these parts for about 10 years now. We used to have a company picnic in the summer as well, but those went away the same year as part of our cost management. Oddly enough, no one really misses them. Where I work we get busy from about mid-December until mid-January.
 
2012-12-03 05:07:04 PM  
i.ytimg.com

Unfortunately, Tim didn't get the memo that the Office Christmas party was pushed back a day.
 
2012-12-03 05:07:27 PM  

Lernaeus: H31N0US: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important. make a shiatload more money than I do

So ... be a corporate whore, submit to others, castrate your personality, and make your wife "behave," and you'll make more money?

No, thanks. I've got a little self-respect left.


I don't define myself as who I am at work. I do what I need to do, for my career, and for my wife's. If I need to put on a black tie and pretend to be charming at some function for my wife's job, I do it. It's one evening. She does the same for me. That in no way represents a castration of our personalities, we just laugh and trash talk some of the idiots (and each other if we do or say something dumb) we see at these things.

But hey man, whatever floats your boat. Wave your freak flag high...maybe someone will salute it. I figured out long ago that nobody really gives a shiat about anything, so if I have to "sell out" now an then in order to grow the paychecks, fark it. Nobody cares one way or another, and I enjoy being closer to the financial freedom towards which I am working. Feel free to judge me. I don't give a shiat either.
 
2012-12-03 05:08:55 PM  

Lernaeus: H31N0US: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important. make a shiatload more money than I do

So ... be a corporate whore, submit to others, castrate your personality, and make your wife "behave," and you'll make more money?

No, thanks. I've got a little self-respect left.


That's not going to work on him. He's the kind that goes to party thinking "I have to make a good impression. I have to make a good impresion." instead of, "I hope I have fun.".
 
2012-12-03 05:09:05 PM  

pmmal: started telecommuting this year. Received an invitation to a "virtual holiday party," along with instructions to take a picture of a white elephant gift and send it to the organizer. WTF do I do with this?


Ignore it I guess. That's bizarre.
 
2012-12-03 05:11:07 PM  

pmmal: started telecommuting this year. Received an invitation to a "virtual holiday party," along with instructions to take a picture of a white elephant gift and send it to the organizer. WTF do I do with this?


Skype in from a strip club?
 
2012-12-03 05:11:35 PM  
I work for a "show me the money" type of company. Yeah, they'll throw together a potluck later this month, but come early next year... bonus time!
 
rka
2012-12-03 05:11:47 PM  

Lernaeus: H31N0US: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important. make a shiatload more money than I do

So ... be a corporate whore, submit to others, castrate your personality, and make your wife "behave," and you'll make more money?

No, thanks. I've got a little self-respect left.


I wonder, did you nail yourself to that cross by yourself or did you and that whiny wife up thread take turns helping each other out?
 
2012-12-03 05:12:20 PM  

browntimmy: That's not going to work on him. He's the kind that goes to party thinking "I have to make a good impression. I have to make a good impresion." instead of, "I hope I have fun.".


Actually, I am the kind of person that understands the difference between a work party and a real party. It's not that hard.
 
2012-12-03 05:13:01 PM  

StrikitRich: pmmal: started telecommuting this year. Received an invitation to a "virtual holiday party," along with instructions to take a picture of a white elephant gift and send it to the organizer. WTF do I do with this?

Skype in from a strip club?


Better idea. You win.
 
2012-12-03 05:13:18 PM  
Team building is good. Parties and things of that nature are good for morale.

The employer can thus get something out of it that individual employees would not.

So ya subby, holiday parties may be worth it.
 
2012-12-03 05:14:38 PM  

Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.


I hate the term team player, I am not a team player and I also hate people that use the term team player. A team full of team players will run your company into the ground with a smile on their face.

What is pissing me off is that there are a million ways to avoid a scene like that:

-take a bunch of Valium and pass out
-feign an illness
-injure yourself
-get wicked wasted an hour before you're supposed to leave
-run out your front door and hide where your husband can't find you. Call a sitter on your cell phone and have her show up. Leave a note with a good excuse on it
-hire an escort and have her go
-make up a story that your kids died
-show up three hours late so it's only a three-hour party, your husband gets there on time, dishes an excuse involving a doctor
-kill yourself
-commit a petty crime, get arrested

I could do this all day, and I lie about twice a year, tops. No way in Hell that anyone but a self-centered, entitled princess couldn't come up with at least this many ways to avoid a meltdown. But she didn't, because the six hours started off wrong in her head, she was pissed at even having to go, pissed that her husband's co workers were stupid/ugly/rude whatever, and pissed because she had to be a mom in public, which usually sucks. Being that pissed for six hours is crazy-making, which is why you plan, plan, plan.
 
2012-12-03 05:16:19 PM  

H31N0US: browntimmy: That's not going to work on him. He's the kind that goes to party thinking "I have to make a good impression. I have to make a good impresion." instead of, "I hope I have fun.".

Actually, I am the kind of person that understands the difference between a work party and a real party. It's not that hard.


Good. If you want to play the game where status in your company is determined by the quality of your wife's casserole, fine. But it shouldn't be shocking that a ton of people don't.
 
2012-12-03 05:20:40 PM  

Lando Lincoln: the money is in the banana stand: Management took 10x the pay cuts that everyone else did

What's the economy like in bizarro world?


It isn't bizarro world, it just isn't "big business". Everyone here gets compensated well. The people with the highest pay checks received the highest cuts. Finding quality staff is the single largest challenge besides finding opportunities here.
 
2012-12-03 05:20:50 PM  

H31N0US: Lernaeus: H31N0US: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important. make a shiatload more money than I do

So ... be a corporate whore, submit to others, castrate your personality, and make your wife "behave," and you'll make more money?

No, thanks. I've got a little self-respect left.

I don't define myself as who I am at work. I do what I need to do, for my career, and for my wife's. If I need to put on a black tie and pretend to be charming at some function for my wife's job, I do it. It's one evening. She does the same for me. That in no way represents a castration of our personalities, we just laugh and trash talk some of the idiots (and each other if we do or say something dumb) we see at these things.

But hey man, whatever floats your boat. Wave your freak flag high...maybe someone will salute it. I figured out long ago that nobody really gives a shiat about anything, so if I have to "sell out" now an then in order to grow the paychecks, fark it. Nobody cares one way or another, and I enjoy being closer to the financial freedom towards which I am working. Feel free to judge me. I don't give a shiat either.


I can't imagine running the kind of business where that matters, and have serious contempt for anyone who would expect something out of me aside from doing a good job.

Show up, work, go home - why does phony social behavior have to be a part of it? Why corral people together that don't voluntarily socialize and expect that to affect the bottom line?

If you *want* to throw or attend a party, then godspeed. But do it because you think it would be fun, not because your in some bullsh*t situation where if you don't go, Johnson will look better for the promotion than you. If that's your job situation, get the f*ck out ... people that would have you eating out of the palm of their hand OWN you.
 
2012-12-03 05:20:57 PM  

browntimmy: H31N0US: browntimmy: That's not going to work on him. He's the kind that goes to party thinking "I have to make a good impression. I have to make a good impresion." instead of, "I hope I have fun.".

Actually, I am the kind of person that understands the difference between a work party and a real party. It's not that hard.

Good. If you want to play the game where status in your company is determined by the quality of your wife's casserole, fine. But it shouldn't be shocking that a ton of people don't.


Nice strawman you're working on there, but it's less about casserole and more about not making an asshole out of oneself. Again, not that complicated.
 
rka
2012-12-03 05:21:24 PM  

mccallcl: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important.

I hate the term team player, I am not a team player and I also hate people that use the term team player. A team full of team players will run your company into the ground with a smile on their face.

What is pissing me off is that there are a million ways to avoid a scene like that:

-take a bunch of Valium and pass out
-feign an illness
-injure yourself
-get wicked wasted an hour before you're supposed to leave
-run out your front door and hide where your husband can't find you. Call a sitter on your cell phone and have her show up. Leave a note with a good excuse on it
-hire an escort and have her go
-make up a story that your kids died
-show up three hours late so it's only a three-hour party, your husband gets there on time, dishes an excuse involving a doctor
-kill yourself
-commit a petty crime, get arrested

I could do this all day, and I lie about twice a year, tops. No way in Hell that anyone but a self-centered, entitled princess couldn't come up with at least this many ways to avoid a meltdown. But she didn't, because the six hours started off wrong in her head, she was pissed at even having to go, pissed that her husband's co workers were stupid/ugly/rude whatever, and pissed because she had to be a mom in public, which usually sucks. Being that pissed for six hours is crazy-making, which is why you plan, plan, plan.


shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place? Here's a couple of pictures on my phone to tied you over.

But no, some people simply must have drama in their lives so they can play the martyr.
 
2012-12-03 05:21:46 PM  

JackieRabbit: I feel the same way. When one of our executives starts gushing about how we are a family, I vomit in my throat a bit. My workmates are workmates and nothing more. They aren't my friends and they damned sure aren't my family. I can understand that younger people may make friends at work and want to spend time with them, but I think it would be better to spend that time outside of a corporate gathering. And one has to be careful. Our CEO watches people like a hawk at these functions. If he thinks you've got drunk, you won't get fired, but you can sure kiss any promotions goodbye. To me, this alone made it not worth the risk. I'll work at work and party elsewhere, with real friends.


I get along well with my coworkers too, I even consider some of them to be friends. Even hang out with some outside work, we keep in touch in off hours to just BS. But I don't see the point of a company function like that. If I want to spend time with one of them, I'd rather just do that and do something we want to do, whatever that may be.

Time is precious. Spending it at a corporate function is hell on earth.
 
2012-12-03 05:24:10 PM  
Our Christmas party has a free bar. Enough said really.
 
2012-12-03 05:26:46 PM  
I love company parties. But I am a professor, and the company is always good.
 
2012-12-03 05:28:38 PM  

Lernaeus: If you *want* to throw or attend a party, then godspeed. But do it because you think it would be fun, not because your in some bullsh*t situation where if you don't go, Johnson will look better for the promotion than you.


I'm a big fan of ducking these things, and I often do, unless there are people I like at work also going and we have plans to hang out and maybe go out afterwards.

That said, since it's a work thing, different rules on social conduct apply: simply put, don't be an asshole, and don't draw unwarranted attention to yourself by 1. Drinking too much, 2. Hooking up, 3. Bragging, 4. Telling off color jokes, 5. Blowing lines in the bathroom, 6. Loudly and publicly imploring your spouse to resign.

That's all I was saying to Luna.
 
rka
2012-12-03 05:28:52 PM  

de_Selby: I love company parties. But I am a professor, and the company is always good.


Coeds working for that A?

Oral exams eh?

*wink wink, nudge nudge"
 
2012-12-03 05:29:00 PM  
Year One: We went to a country club (that welcomed people of all colors who had the money to join), with prime rib and lobster on the menu. Unfortunately the planners spent liberally on food and skimped on service, so the meal was served well into the evening.

Year Two: A better balance was struck, with chicken and pork loin with gravy, potatoes, vegetables, dessert and an ice sculpture topped with shrimp in cocktail sauce -- service was quite good this time.

Year Three: No party for lower management and techies, so we had potluck where 30 people brought dishes. We graciously invited upper management to partake. This was the best.

Year Four: Started my own business -- no office lunch.
 
2012-12-03 05:30:32 PM  
People in charge of my work haven't even told us what day or time we are having our lame ass party. There's rumors it's Friday after work this year. Fark that. I already spend enough time with these scumbags. We have no idea if we have to come in on Monday or not. Usually we have the party second half of the day on Christmas Eve. Apparently they are going to delay giving us our bonus checks this year until a few hours into the party because everyone leaves as soon as we get them...
 
2012-12-03 05:38:00 PM  

rka: shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place?


I don't know, it could work, I'm not a pro infant wrangler. But if you know for sure it's going to be terrible, know yourself. Compromise one of your values now so you don't accidentally do it later, while everyone is watching and it's going to cost you a ton of money. Sometimes it's worse to try, no one appreciates the effort.
 
2012-12-03 05:38:06 PM  

Lunaville: WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?

It really wasn't about him. It was about a company and its' deranged HR people who thought they had bought outright their employees and along with their families. It's the only company I've ever heard of that has even attempted to make spouse attendance at functions mandatory. How the hell do you make anything mandatory for people who do not work for you?


I wouldnt condone it if your husband beat you, but I'd understand.

/obscure?
 
2012-12-03 05:39:29 PM  
My work has a big party, with alcohol, DJ, fake gambling, the works. Tickets are only $20.

/2 tickets + babysitter => I stay home.
 
2012-12-03 05:45:19 PM  

mccallcl: rka: shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place?

I don't know, it could work, I'm not a pro infant wrangler. But if you know for sure it's going to be terrible, know yourself. Compromise one of your values now so you don't accidentally do it later, while everyone is watching and it's going to cost you a ton of money. Sometimes it's worse to try, no one appreciates the effort.


Lunaville indicated that once the kids came along she tried to convince hubby to let her and the kids stay home. He dragged her along anyhow.

My ex did the same thing, girls were 9months old and 5yrs old, party was in the evening, hubby didn't want to leave..

/no longer with him, but that's not the only reason
 
2012-12-03 05:45:52 PM  

Doom MD:

I wouldnt condone it if your husband beat you, but I'd understand.

/obscure?


I TAKE CARE OF MY KIDS!!!!
 
2012-12-03 05:56:19 PM  

WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?


She's either a spentmiles-level master, or a raging coont. I hesitate to say that even, as I feel like I'm getting reeled in.
 
2012-12-03 05:58:30 PM  

dopekitty74: mccallcl: rka: shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place?

I don't know, it could work, I'm not a pro infant wrangler. But if you know for sure it's going to be terrible, know yourself. Compromise one of your values now so you don't accidentally do it later, while everyone is watching and it's going to cost you a ton of money. Sometimes it's worse to try, no one appreciates the effort.

Lunaville indicated that once the kids came along she tried to convince hubby to let her and the kids stay home. He dragged her along anyhow.

My ex did the same thing, girls were 9months old and 5yrs old, party was in the evening, hubby didn't want to leave..

/no longer with him, but that's not the only reason


So clearly an outburst in front of his coworkers demanding his resignation was the way to go. Why not just say the babysitter had to go home? Seriously, so many no-brainer excuses a person could use. I would damn near murder my significant other for this kind of betrayal (and I wouldnt expect anything less in return if I had the audacity to do such a thing).
 
2012-12-03 05:59:07 PM  
I hate office parties. You are forced to be around all the people you cant wait to get away from all day, and they serve you alcohol that you cant get enough of, or else management starts taking down a list of people who like the sauce "too much"...

The only good office parties are on the clock during normal operating hours.
 
2012-12-03 06:01:14 PM  

H31N0US: Lernaeus: H31N0US: Lernaeus: The people who are criticizing her for this are probably the kind of f*ckers who use the term "team player" a lot and for whom social status is important. make a shiatload more money than I do

So ... be a corporate whore, submit to others, castrate your personality, and make your wife "behave," and you'll make more money?

No, thanks. I've got a little self-respect left.

I don't define myself as who I am at work. I do what I need to do, for my career, and for my wife's. If I need to put on a black tie and pretend to be charming at some function for my wife's job, I do it. It's one evening. She does the same for me. That in no way represents a castration of our personalities, we just laugh and trash talk some of the idiots (and each other if we do or say something dumb) we see at these things.

But hey man, whatever floats your boat. Wave your freak flag high...maybe someone will salute it. I figured out long ago that nobody really gives a shiat about anything, so if I have to "sell out" now an then in order to grow the paychecks, fark it. Nobody cares one way or another, and I enjoy being closer to the financial freedom towards which I am working. Feel free to judge me. I don't give a shiat either.


I find it sad, and you should to, that you have to "sell out" in order to get ahead and you find this acceptable. You aren't a prostitute. You are an employee and the company you work for should reward you for your work not for gathering with other people who are also desperately pretending they don't have better things to do.
 
2012-12-03 06:04:32 PM  
This thread has been so great for reminding me why I hate corporate.

Luna was tactless, her husband had no spine, the HR lady was a jerk, and management was delusional for thinking that anyone -- especially infants! -- cared about their holiday party or that anything other than death and taxes could possibly be mandatory. Everyone involved was just awful. And that's why corporate farking sucks.
 
2012-12-03 06:07:13 PM  

Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

[snip] ...



At some point you seem to have veered into active sabotage of your husband's career. This does not seem to be a well-thought out plan.
 
2012-12-03 06:09:13 PM  
The overstatement is strong in this thread
 
2012-12-03 06:10:53 PM  

Memes Ate My Balls: This thread has been so great for reminding me why I hate corporate.

Luna was tactless, her husband had no spine, the HR lady was a jerk, and management was delusional for thinking that anyone -- especially infants! -- cared about their holiday party or that anything other than death and taxes could possibly be mandatory. Everyone involved was just awful. And that's why corporate farking sucks.


And with that, this thread has ended. Thanks for playing!
 
rka
2012-12-03 06:20:25 PM  

dopekitty74: mccallcl: rka: shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place?

I don't know, it could work, I'm not a pro infant wrangler. But if you know for sure it's going to be terrible, know yourself. Compromise one of your values now so you don't accidentally do it later, while everyone is watching and it's going to cost you a ton of money. Sometimes it's worse to try, no one appreciates the effort.

Lunaville indicated that once the kids came along she tried to convince hubby to let her and the kids stay home. He dragged her along anyhow.

My ex did the same thing, girls were 9months old and 5yrs old, party was in the evening, hubby didn't want to leave..

/no longer with him, but that's not the only reason


So did you pin the blame on the company party or your less-than-helpful husband?
 
2012-12-03 06:20:35 PM  
It there was someone in my company that I thought of as a friend and not a leach I would enjoy it. But this year there is boose and free food so I am going.
 
2012-12-03 06:27:00 PM  

olapbill: God Is My Co-Pirate: olapbill: LasersHurt: I get to be flown in to Ottowa for a party. That's fun, huh? Woo. Ottowa.

Ottawa? can be fun depending on where the party is.

That's where I am. Run. Run like the wind.

That's where I am as well. I could find a more than one place to throw a decent Christmas party here. Can't help with the people you would be stuck with at the party, but am free for plus ones to make sure the night is at least entertaining.


Then you'll know what I'm talking about when I say that our party this year is at the Glue Pot Pub...
 
2012-12-03 06:43:18 PM  

Strategeryz0r: Nitrox: My employer is awesome about the holidays. The entire organization is shutting down Friday at noon before Christmas and we have paid vacation through New Years Day. This is in addition to the 4 other weeks of vacation we are given, as well as 5 sick days

My company gives you 2 - 3 weeks of vacation(depending on tenure), which includes your sick days and floating holidays.

Then only gives us the day of xmas off. So we have to be here the monday before, and all the days after until Jan 1. Same story on Thanksgiving. No work Thursday, but you better come back in Friday.

Again, they wonder why their turnover rate has shot through the roof. It never used to be like this until this bastards from the east coast invaded our lovely little company. We went from "we love our employees" to "raise the bottom line, fark the lot of you! you're all replaceable!"

/anyone looking for an IT guy in the Idaho/Oregon/Washington area? Will move for position. Get me away from these people.


You working at a financial such as a Bank or Credit union? Those types of businesses cannot be closed more than like 3 days in a row by law. Also, there is a ton of stuff available in the Pacific NW it just depends on what you expect to be paid :)
 
2012-12-03 06:46:12 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: We have the shiattiest office parties ever. Like, legendarily bad. We pay for our own food, there's no alcohol, and we're expected to be back at our desks by 2:00 p.m. Nothing like watching stone-cold-sober civil servants do the macarena at lunch time. One year we had a magician going table-to-table doing tricks with elastic bands. He kept trying to guess which card we'd chosen, and failing. After four wrong attempts we just asked him to go. Then the fat girl in HR sings carols.

Another year, we had to make nativity scenes out of the food and centrepieces on our table. I carved a baby Jesus out of a butter pat and hollowed out a bread roll for his manger. Again, sober.

A friend of mine's office is doing an HR "fun training session" plus a potluck.

I swear to god, I don't know what I'd do without the scotch in my desk drawer.


Well, OK, I've only read this far into the thread, but already, this seems like the winner.
 
2012-12-03 06:50:51 PM  

Smackledorfer: Team building is good. Parties and things of that nature are good for morale.

The employer can thus get something out of it that individual employees would not.

So ya subby, holiday parties may be worth it.


The only "team building" or "morale boosting" I've seen came from parties we organized ourselves, with people who we actually wanted to spend time with.
 
2012-12-03 06:51:38 PM  

bikerific: Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

[snip] ...


At some point you seem to have veered into active sabotage of your husband's career. This does not seem to be a well-thought out plan.


Pretty much this. You gotta take one for the team once inawhile. She sounds like a biatch lol.
 
2012-12-03 06:51:50 PM  
We didn't have a Christmas party last year. Employer no longer foots the bill (they did for years and spent quite a bit and it was mostly appreciated). Two worthless account service people decided to be the Christmas party planners and then ... it went nowhere. Supposedly, they were gonna plan some sort of awesome get-together and then I guess they were told management wasn't paying for any of it so they just dropped it and we had no party at all.

Not even the modest little snack/gift exchange we usually do. It was a little sad, but we are all so freaking busy I'm not sure anybody minded all that much.
 
2012-12-03 07:01:35 PM  

Lunaville: argylez: WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?


lol - THIS.

/I'm sure she's blast at parties

Are you people nuts? I defy you to spend 6 hours at a mandatory "party" and consider that reasonable. There are people on this thread that won't even go to their own company parties for heavens' sake.


Amen Sister. Office Xmas parties are the pits. I had a boss get mad at me because I didn't go to the office christmas party because 'we had to have someone represent IT'

1) It was on a saturday. That's my time off, douchebag.
2) It's a fancy dress up party for a construction firm. Only time I put on a suit is if I'm looking for a job, numbnuts.
3) If it's so important to be represented, why don't YOU go since, you know, you're the damn boss and you should be the one dealing with this bullshiat.

/That was a long time ago
//he was such a miserable bastard.
///he got laid off 1 month after moving to be closer to the job (he lived in baltimore for like 15 years).
//// karma slashie!
 
2012-12-03 07:06:07 PM  
I find it sad, and you should to, that you have to "sell out" in order to get ahead and you find this acceptable. You aren't a prostitute. You are an employee and the company you work for should reward you for your work not for gathering with other people who are also desperately pretending they don't have better things to do.

I have been called out for insubordination more times than I care to recall, but have never been terminated because I do my job well. There is a not so fine line between voicing disagreeing opinions at work and being a total douche nozzle at a company social function. If Luna has such big balls, then she should have just put her foot down to her husband and said she was not going instead of being a martyr. There is also such a thing called human decency. In some societies it is generally associated with politeness. This "politeness" thing has nothing to do with selling out. It is more of a being a decent human being thing than trying to upstage a HR person in front of other people. She chose the low road because apparently she has no social grace and is a total self-serving biatch.

I have been around the block more times than a Jehovah's Witness, and it never fails that the person yelling "sell out" is the same person that cannot keep a job for more than 6 months because a.) boss hates them b.) hates coworkers c.) coworkers hate them, etc.
 
2012-12-03 07:13:03 PM  
I'd rather pick fly shiat out of pepper.
 
2012-12-03 07:13:39 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: After years of no "official" party our new VP -- who was old enough to talk about that whippersnapper Hannibal and his wacky elephant ideas -- put together a real hootenanny.

From 3-4PM on a workday we were all invited to come to the conference room where there were TWO three-liter bottles of Ghetto Cola and a giant bag of popcorn -- the kind that KMart sells in the "So you're totally out of ideas" gift section -- available for your dining pleasure. We also got our "present" -- a cheap color photocopy of the CEO's official portrait.


OK, maybe you're the winner of the thread. This is close to the most depressing shiat I've ever read that hasn't been endorsed by Oprah.
 
2012-12-03 07:14:51 PM  
Well ours is a lunch at 1 pm (so they can get in the 5 hr of work beforehand- or a full 8 hr day for our factory employees). We have dried up turkey and listen to a ONE HOUR drone by our CEO. God it is boring and I work in sales and know what he is talking about. Then after that we do a 'rob your neighbor' type gift thing. The thing is, not all the employees even GET a gift and the gifts are not all equal value. There are usually 5 nice gifts worth over $25 and the rest being cocoa samplers or sausage samplers. So most people go home with nothing. We wait awkwardly for bonus checks to be passed out and they are not (the next Monday HR clarifies that we did not make enough money to give out bonuses). Finally the head of the party planning committee presents a gift to the company owner and his wife (who are rich, duh)- the gift is probably $500 value.

At that point things get really awkward with people trying to make conversation. I excuse myself to 'check my email' although since the customers I work with are all in Asia they probably are not working... Eventually the nice VP will come around and tell us to go home early OR (last year, which was particularly dreadful) the HR lady sent out an email that said "Although [the CEO] said 'have a nice holiday' he did not mean go home early."

Also since the owner's wife has an alcoholic somewhere in her family there is absolutely no alcohol. (Note that if coworkers want to go out for a drink to celebrate someone's last day we have to specifically say that it is not a company sanctioned event.)

It is amazing how many people use vacation just to avoid this party...

Also the best part is that we have a 2 guys with Celiac disease and at many company provided food events no food is provided for them. So they will pathetically scrape the toppings off of their pizza and eat a lump of cheese or just go hungry when we are having sub sandwiches. Same with our vegetarians...
 
2012-12-03 07:16:11 PM  

God Is My Co-Pirate: olapbill: God Is My Co-Pirate: olapbill: LasersHurt: I get to be flown in to Ottowa for a party. That's fun, huh? Woo. Ottowa.

Ottawa? can be fun depending on where the party is.

That's where I am. Run. Run like the wind.

That's where I am as well. I could find a more than one place to throw a decent Christmas party here. Can't help with the people you would be stuck with at the party, but am free for plus ones to make sure the night is at least entertaining.

Then you'll know what I'm talking about when I say that our party this year is at the Glue Pot Pub...

didn't that close and rebrand?
If you go to go "upper" I've had decent bottle service xmas parties at the Luxe. From what I remember.
I'd prefer a more pub like atmosphere simply because I like pubs dammit.
 
2012-12-03 07:36:04 PM  
We get a holiday party and the week off between xmas an new years paid, so I guess I have it better than most.
 
2012-12-03 07:38:11 PM  
If the options are holiday party or work, everyone will choose holiday party.
 
2012-12-03 07:43:26 PM  

kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.


i dislike most of the people i work with...but there are two or three i get along with well. can't get any work done around them, we just fark around and put "admin time" on the timesheet...

/party is friday, meh
 
2012-12-03 07:57:40 PM  
My company's 'holiday' party lasts about 5 minutes during times when most employees can't make it. Stay classy.
 
2012-12-03 08:06:15 PM  
I've spent most of my working life in academia...

In private research centers most holiday parties were late lunches with free beer followed by going home.
In public research institutes it was nicely catered lunches with grad students from 3 different departments mooching food sitting and talking to the office people which whom you've only ever exchanged terse emails with followed by a text message to get back to work.
In graduate school we had two. One was the 'departmental lunch' it was assigned seating, with the cheapest catered food our department head could find. Then there was the student and faculty one at our department head's house which was 1 case of tequila, 1 case of bourbon and 1 case of vodka with ice for mixing.

/virologist are strange people.
 
2012-12-03 08:07:41 PM  
Holy shiat, these "parties" where employees have to stand around and listen to the CEO or some other higher-up drone about how awesome everything is sound like the precursor to a workplace shooting.

As kind of depressing as not having a party at all (or having a small office party where everybody has to provide the food and refreshments) sounds, at least it doesn't require us to be bored shiatless while we're supposed to be celebrating.

We like each other well enough (most of the insufferable employees from years past no longer work here), so when we have get-togethers, we just talk amongst ourselves about whatever the fark we want to (mostly tech stuff, most of the employees work in interactive, and it's about 90% male). It's pleasant enough. It's not forced socializing, at least for most people. It's mostly low-pressure. Even when the boss is here, he's not too bad as far as making it unpleasant.
 
2012-12-03 08:08:35 PM  

99.998er: I find it sad, and you should to, that you have to "sell out" in order to get ahead and you find this acceptable. You aren't a prostitute. You are an employee and the company you work for should reward you for your work not for gathering with other people who are also desperately pretending they don't have better things to do.

I have been called out for insubordination more times than I care to recall, but have never been terminated because I do my job well. There is a not so fine line between voicing disagreeing opinions at work and being a total douche nozzle at a company social function. If Luna has such big balls, then she should have just put her foot down to her husband and said she was not going instead of being a martyr. There is also such a thing called human decency. In some societies it is generally associated with politeness. This "politeness" thing has nothing to do with selling out. It is more of a being a decent human being thing than trying to upstage a HR person in front of other people. She chose the low road because apparently she has no social grace and is a total self-serving biatch.

I have been around the block more times than a Jehovah's Witness, and it never fails that the person yelling "sell out" is the same person that cannot keep a job for more than 6 months because a.) boss hates them b.) hates coworkers c.) coworkers hate them, etc.


If everyone hates you, maybe you should consider that the problem may actually be you, and not everyone else?
 
2012-12-03 08:14:03 PM  

xSauronx: kid_icarus: 100% of me never goes to the Xmas party. I hate seeing coworkers in a social setting.

i dislike most of the people i work with...but there are two or three i get along with well. can't get any work done around them, we just fark around and put "admin time" on the timesheet...

/party is friday, meh


*shrug* I actually like most of my coworkers, for the most part. We get along famously while we're at work. It somehow gets a little awkward in a social setting outside work, though. It's like we aren't sure how to relate to each other as it suddenly becomes apparent that (despite spending 40 hours of the week together) we don't really know each other that well personally. So what do we end up talking about? Work, of course.
 
2012-12-03 08:20:05 PM  
I'm glad I'm not the only one who came here to brag about their Hot Cocoa Sampler Boxes.

/actually chocolate bock
//also not hot
///mmm
 
2012-12-03 08:21:54 PM  

doczoidberg: monoski: hool where first there is a cooking class then a dinner. You would want to slit your wrist with one the kitchen knives.

They make you take part in a cooking class???

Fark it. I would just not show up. If they fired me, I could just apply for unemployment, and say that...well...I got canned for not going to the company Christmas party!

Like they'd deny someone with such a silly claim.


They'd just go the usual route - making your working life a living hell until you either quit or snap, then deny because you quit and deny every claim you make regarding hostile workplaces.
 
2012-12-03 08:26:54 PM  

foxyshadis: They'd just go the usual route - making your working life a living hell until you either quit or snap,


Meh. I was married. Got a better threat?
 
2012-12-03 08:34:18 PM  

wambu: For my business, we used to have Christmas dinners until the employees said they'd rather have money instead. So now they get a decent amont of money and it actually costs me less, so we all are happy.


Party or no party, that is the ultimate goal, right? Good on you for finding the right solution!
 
2012-12-03 08:36:59 PM  

Pitabred: 99.998er: I find it sad, and you should to, that you have to "sell out" in order to get ahead and you find this acceptable. You aren't a prostitute. You are an employee and the company you work for should reward you for your work not for gathering with other people who are also desperately pretending they don't have better things to do.

I have been called out for insubordination more times than I care to recall, but have never been terminated because I do my job well. There is a not so fine line between voicing disagreeing opinions at work and being a total douche nozzle at a company social function. If Luna has such big balls, then she should have just put her foot down to her husband and said she was not going instead of being a martyr. There is also such a thing called human decency. In some societies it is generally associated with politeness. This "politeness" thing has nothing to do with selling out. It is more of a being a decent human being thing than trying to upstage a HR person in front of other people. She chose the low road because apparently she has no social grace and is a total self-serving biatch.

I have been around the block more times than a Jehovah's Witness, and it never fails that the person yelling "sell out" is the same person that cannot keep a job for more than 6 months because a.) boss hates them b.) hates coworkers c.) coworkers hate them, etc.

If everyone hates you, maybe you should consider that the problem may actually be you, and not everyone else?


Yes well...that was pretty much my point.
 
2012-12-03 08:39:46 PM  
Hm, not enough cocoa sampler box stories here.

Our Christmas party is similar to others' here: Potluck on a Friday afternoon, White Elephant gift exchange, no booze. I went my first year and regretted it. Ever since then I've just slipped out early when everyone leaves for the party.

I wouldn't even mind spending the money on my coworkers if there was booze. It's just way too awkward interacting with these people socially. Alcohol would really, really help.

Actually, scratch that, I did mind spending the money on coworkers. The gift exchange is such a load; nobody ever brings anything you'd want. It was largely candy mixes or sausage packs. I ended up with a Ravens Santa hat. I don't even like the Ravens.

/Wish I could keep booze at my desk.
 
2012-12-03 08:44:06 PM  
Real Christmas party:

I work in academia, but I freelance for a big Manhattan company. Thus, I get a month off, AND I get invited to party with unlimited booze and overworked hot chicks.
 
2012-12-03 08:50:37 PM  
Holiday parties should be banned by some layer of government. They are just bad.
 
2012-12-03 08:56:48 PM  
Behavioral economics tells us that while workers say they would rather have cash equivalents rather than gifts, they will treat a Christmas party as a better gift in the long run and thus if the goal is to get workers to like the company/boss, cash is the worst, parties rule!
 
2012-12-03 08:58:12 PM  

broomballwilson: Behavioral economics tells us that while workers say they would rather have cash equivalents rather than gifts, they will treat a Christmas party as a better gift in the long run and thus if the goal is to get workers to like the company/boss, cash is the worst, parties rule!


Sounds like behavioral economics tells company presidents what they want to hear -- for a large fee, of course.
 
2012-12-03 08:58:37 PM  
Ours is at a museum in a couple of days, and I'm looking forward to it.
If I run out of people to avoid because I've forgotten their names,
I can take my booze over to the fish tanks and swallow enough courage
to ask someone's date out on a date.

It's gonna be superb. All I have to do is pick out a tie.
 
2012-12-03 09:00:20 PM  
and the article points out exactly why Company parties fail so miserably these days. I truly miss my days of working for Big Oil where not only did I get to bring a date to the Christmas party (never had one, sadly) but for many dinners/lunches/brunches that were semi-business meetings spouses were not only allowed but encouraged. Networking, I would guess may have been my company's motive back then.

So why holiday parties suck and why we want no part of them:

Held during lunch, 30 minutes, no more, btw. Hey you weren't really planning on eating a meal were you? Come have a cookie and get back to work slave (my company last year, but I was a temp and so wasn't even permitted a cookie, alas)

No alcohol. Well ok, it's expensive and there are potential liability issues, but if it's off premises off company time and employees pay for a cash bar, who cares?

No guests/spouses. How often does one get the opportunity to take their significant other around to introduce, show off or just shove old ugly into the closet under the stairs and hire a hooker/male escort for the evening and have a little fun? Ok, I'm joking about this last one, here. But you see my point.

/company is holding no holiday party this year, but hey at least I won't be told to go have a cookie, race back to my desk and then told to be thankful for it like the poor saps of last year were told to do. And no, no bonus, no extra day off, no falalalala, at all. They like to keep the whip cracking. I need a new job
 
2012-12-03 09:22:34 PM  
Squadron is having a holiday party this Friday evening. I paid for the members of my flight that wanted to go ($10-$15/ticket). We have a squadron "booster club" to raise funds through various means throughout the year. Sure, there will be drawings for prizes and such, but it really stinks being harassed to buy cookies, shirts, and other things year round to pay for a modest party that a good portion of folks can't attend because they're downrange.

/proud of the hard work people do to make the parties happen year after year with zero seed money
//it was a huge pain in the ass the year I was in charge of organizing it. Thanks VFW for letting us use your hall for free.
 
2012-12-03 09:29:33 PM  
Old employer: Party sucked.
New employer: Party awesome.

Conclusion: It's better to work for a company that makes money than a company that has to convince a judge to make the customers pay.
 
2012-12-03 09:33:16 PM  

Generation_D: there's cake in the break room.


i48.tinypic.com

I should probably stop and say hello.
 
2012-12-03 10:53:49 PM  
Wow, you guys work for some cheap-ass companies. But I guess they've spent all their money on recruiting and training replacement employees for everyone who leaves in disgust.
 
2012-12-03 10:58:08 PM  

whatshisname: Wow, you guys work for some cheap-ass companies. But I guess they've spent all their money on recruiting and training replacement employees for everyone who leaves in disgust.


That is how I feel. Mine should just start randomly hiring people since we can be sure to lose 2 employees a week.
 
2012-12-03 11:28:32 PM  
I worked for too many years at a shiathole of a company (Fortune 500) whose corp. HQ "party" every year was to have a potluck where the employees brought the food. The company provided soft drinks, paper plates, plastic forks and napkins.

That was it. It's almost funny now.
 
2012-12-04 04:34:52 AM  

mccallcl: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much.

Yeah no shiat, I'm sure your husband's career took a serious hit as a result of your behavior. I probably don't have to tell you (because I'm sure he already has, at volume) that you cost your family five figures with your outbursts. In order to make up for you, he probably had to sacrifice a lot at work, and your life got a ton worse, whether you realize it or not.

There are times when not having a wife and family make me feel lonely, and cheated out of the best part of life's majestic tapestry. Reading your remarks is not one of those times.


THIS. It shouldn't matter but it definitely does. He probably got passed over for a promotion because of the wife's selfish and coonty behavior. And that crack about having the husband get his resume together--jeopardizing his career because she's moderately uncomfortable at a company function--totally un-called-for.
 
2012-12-04 07:52:26 AM  

Lunaville: WinoRhino: Lunaville: I hated those parties so much. Now they have a normal afternoon office party with some snacks, non-alcoholic beverages and a silly gift exchange. No spouses or kids attend and they get off work an hour or two early. Thank G-d!

This is a joke, right? Like from a movie I haven't seen or something? One where the wife is a complete psycho hose beast, kicks her husband in the testicles a lot and complains he's no fun when he asks her to stop for at least one night? And then she's completely shocked when she finds him in bed with a woman who is actually fun and offers a break from the super-regimented sex-only-on-alternating-Saturdays routine? Right?

It really wasn't about him. It was about a company and its' deranged HR people who thought they had bought outright their employees and along with their families. It's the only company I've ever heard of that has even attempted to make spouse attendance at functions mandatory. How the hell do you make anything mandatory for people who do not work for you?


gently, quietly, humbly, he asked .. why don't you just support your husband once out of the year and play nice with his colleagues, so you dont make him the joke of the company for weeks afterwards.

you haven't heard of that many companies, apparently.

normally they aren't "mandatory," normally people feel like they want to attend and bring spouses, who also feel like they want to attend. normally in a lot of companies the coworkers are friends, or at the least able to stand one another off hours for a while.

I dont know where you live or what business you're in, but it sounds really regimented, and really lame ass old bosses-and-workers sh*t, like just give you the hot cocoa sampler box and let you leave early and we'll call it good.

that being said, the tone of your reply has a lot of peoples teeth on edge. perhaps you just are being nuanced to death here, but the tone I get from your answers suggests there's more going on than just not liking the office party.
 
2012-12-04 08:05:51 AM  

kindms: Lunaville: My husbands' company used to rent out a big space and host spouses and kids. They had gambling games people could buy into and possibly win money. I'm so grateful they decided that was too exorbitant. For years, I was expected to take a portion of my pay ( I worked full time before we had kids.) to purchase a dress suitable for this occasion so I could be trotted around among people I didn't know and feign interest in a company that I did not work for.

One year at one of these functions some twit announced a "mandatory" softball game and tried to bully me into playing softball. After a few polite attempts to decline, I snapped "I don't work here." Unashamed she shot back with "Your husband does." I was so pissed I shouted several feet across to my husband "Get your resume in tip-top shape tonight!" The CEO/Owner came over and told Ms. Priss she couldn't demand a mandatory game with or without people who were actually employed with the company. My husband and I left and argued for three days. Thank G-d, I was not consuming any alcohol or the incident with Ms. Priss could have been unseemly.

Then the kids came. "Oh" I said "It won't be any fun if you have to drag us along. You just go and have a great time and I'll stay home with the kids." Nope, that didn't fly. Too many people in the office were "excited to meet the kids". We had to go. Mind you, these weren't normal two to four hour office parties. These parties lasted for hours and hours and hours. I didn't drive at the time so going to the party meant the kids and I were stuck until my husband decided to leave. After four miserable hours with two babies, who were highly uninterested in the party, I started to beg to go home. Several times my husband said "Well, we'd better get going." Only to have a someone senior to him say "Oh No, you can't leave yet. We haven't had the drawing for .../ the Santa visit/ the some other highlight I could not have cared less about yet." Finally, at more than 6 hours ...


This 1000x times.

At our "all hands" meeting (2 days of meetings for me, plus the required dinner without spouses) my wife wanted to tag along.

At the end of the first night in town, she and I went out for a night cap after all the company crap was done.

At the end of this who should we run into back at the hotel lobby but my boss and his boss chatting.

Without missing a beat, she talked to both of them for several minutes: Great city, thanks for letting spouses tag along, so glad I finally get to meet you guys, etc... Its all she had to do. Social wheels greased, and done.

Its about as 180 from yelling out in public you should get your resume up to date in front of everyone.

It is simple. You don't embarrass your spouse in public, you definitely don't do it around coworkers.

The level of annoyance you're spitting out about things like the "santa visit, another thing I couldnt care less about" ... ITS NOT ALWAYS ALL ABOUT YOU.

Sometimes you just suck it up as he said and you play your role.

Why is that so damn difficult? I'm hoping the internet is just painting a worse picture than reality, but your answers have been pretty consistent. It might be worth it if you quit making your husband's once a year party all about you for once, and just did your best to play along. Let someone else be the gossip focus this year.
 
2012-12-04 04:33:12 PM  
Company party confirmed: Mandarin Buffet.

Break out the pitchers of flat coke with too much ice!
 
2012-12-04 07:24:00 PM  

browntimmy: JusticeandIndependence: Lernaeus: H31N0US: I assure you, your husband took a lot of shiat for your behavior, and probably still does.

What kind of skidmarks does he work for that his wife's "behavior" is a reflection on him?

Who gives a sh*t about his wife; does he do his damn job or not?

It matters. Especially at these kind of events, or even away trips.

Which is why it's best to avoid this shiat to begin with. You're being judged on how well you pretend to have fun.


This is actually a fairly important skill at a management level. In a group environment, simply being good at your job is not always good enough. There are people who have a positive impact on morale and around those people others tend to do a better job. Then there are poison employees, the ones who seem to need to feel miserable and make everyone around them miserable. Sadly, you can't fire them because creating a toxic work environment is not a fire-able offense.

So yeah, the Christmas party is an important business event pretending to be a social event because if you can't make pleasant small talk for a couple of hours with the ass from accounting you don't really have what it takes to make it to that next level.
 
2012-12-06 02:02:56 AM  

dopekitty74: mccallcl: rka: shiat, how about just saying that bringing two infants to a company party probably isn't in anyone's interest in the first place?

I don't know, it could work, I'm not a pro infant wrangler. But if you know for sure it's going to be terrible, know yourself. Compromise one of your values now so you don't accidentally do it later, while everyone is watching and it's going to cost you a ton of money. Sometimes it's worse to try, no one appreciates the effort.

Lunaville indicated that once the kids came along she tried to convince hubby to let her and the kids stay home. He dragged her along anyhow.

My ex did the same thing, girls were 9months old and 5yrs old, party was in the evening, hubby didn't want to leave..

/no longer with him, but that's not the only reason


It seems like a taxicab would have been the best solution about 3-4 hours before things melted down. If a man likes to party and be social and his wife hates to, they both sound like they need to learn to smile when they don't want to and work on crisis management skills; saving a cab fare isn't worth the bad blood a big outburst can cause among coworkers, let alone each other.
 
2012-12-06 02:16:07 AM  

specialkae: No guests/spouses. How often does one get the opportunity to take their significant other around to introduce, show off or just shove old ugly into the closet under the stairs and hire a hooker/male escort for the evening and have a little fun? Ok, I'm joking about this last one, here. But you see my point.


You joke, but rates on escorts actually go way up around holiday party season. Of course, you'd think it's mostly single guys buying, but you never know.
 
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