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(Slate)   A guide to making yourself less creepy via body language   (slate.com) divider line 137
    More: PSA, John Jay College, Malcolm Gladwell, nonverbal communication, Neil Strauss, dating, habits  
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20939 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2012 at 11:38 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



137 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-03 11:42:42 AM
farm3.staticflickr.com
 
2012-12-03 11:43:35 AM
So squeezing my crotch while talking to girls ISN'T what I'm supposed to be doing?
 
2012-12-03 11:44:21 AM
The ladies love my mirror-toed shoes.

/How YOU doin'
 
2012-12-03 11:47:18 AM
Dammit ladies! Isn't it simply enough that I don't stare at your tits for the whole date? Do I learn how to do all this subtle body language crap too?
 
2012-12-03 11:47:54 AM
Masterbating at the dinner table might send a mixed single I suppose.
 
2012-12-03 11:48:09 AM
I could use this.

/why are you all edging away from me?
 
2012-12-03 11:48:42 AM

blatz514: Masterbating at the dinner table might send a mixed single I suppose.




I dunno....it's really kinda borderline


i287.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-03 11:49:03 AM
Being interested but poor is a sure-fire way to creep a woman out.
 
2012-12-03 11:49:24 AM

blatz514: Masterbating at the dinner table might send a mixed single I suppose.


What's so "mixed" about it?
 
2012-12-03 11:49:56 AM
Rule #1: Don't be a Farker.
 
2012-12-03 11:51:13 AM
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-12-03 11:52:58 AM
I took this class, it was great! If it weren't for him, I'd still be bringing my axe with me to dates. I still kinda miss pointing out the bloodstains....
 
2012-12-03 11:53:34 AM
I'm mid-40s, ugly and never-been-married. There is no cure for this kind of creepy.
 
2012-12-03 11:53:54 AM
I'm married. I'm pretty sure my body language always says "Please Kill Me!"
 
2012-12-03 11:56:59 AM
I find that being a little creepy is a good way to filter out the women who aren't desperate.
 
2012-12-03 11:57:56 AM
For Guys

Scenario A) You are poor -> she chooses the guy with the BMW and nice suit.

Scenario B) You are rich -> you think her left knee is pointy.

------

Women

Scenario A) You are poor -> want a fark?

Scenario B) You are rich -> like my abs and tan?

(this could be a bit overly simplified)
 
2012-12-03 11:58:46 AM

Galloping Galoshes: I took this class, it was great! If it weren't for him, I'd still be bringing my axe with me to dates. I still kinda miss pointing out the bloodstains....


thumbs.anyclip.com
 
2012-12-03 12:03:18 PM
The funniest people are the ones who are both desperate and picky.
 
2012-12-03 12:09:10 PM

abhorrent1: I'm married. I'm pretty sure my body language always says "Please Kill Me!"


I'm with you brother..

But I found a drug that helped Link - trust me!

"Love doesn't exist except briefly between a man and a woman before marriage. After that, it's just hanging out with someone who kind of hates you, but you can't get it together to leave." - HS
 
2012-12-03 12:10:01 PM
I find eye-contact threatening.

Cool story time: I was at a conference for CFAs and the motivational speaker dude that was hired to speak suggested that men prefer to stand side by side when discussing things, and women preferred to stand opposite. So, as something of a party-game, he proposed that men try to speak to women face to face and women try to speak to men side by side. The result turned the conference hall into something of a dance floor, albeit one with no music except for the strange discussion that one gets in rooms full of CFAs and other financial types.

That was cool, right? Right?!
 
2012-12-03 12:10:51 PM

cgraves67: I find that being a little creepy is a good way to filter out the women who aren't desperate.


By scaring them away?
 
2012-12-03 12:11:47 PM

Rev. Skarekroe: So squeezing my crotch while talking to girls ISN'T what I'm supposed to be doing?


seriously, i knew a guy that always had one had in his pants playing with his favorite pull toy, always, no matter what. it was disturbing to say the least. he was an ugly little fellow that lied like a rug and that moran got more pussy than a no-kill animal shelter. even when he was going out with a decent girl he had to cheat on her with two others on the side. simply amazing what females can be attracted to.
 
2012-12-03 12:12:00 PM
i3.ytimg.com

It worked for me!
 
2012-12-03 12:12:12 PM
1) Go to Fark party

2) Do complete opposite of what every man there is doing
 
2012-12-03 12:12:29 PM

Nurglitch: I find eye-contact threatening.

!


I'm going to go ahead a call this one... single, right?
 
2012-12-03 12:12:40 PM
So you mean girls don't want me to show off my mad Muay Thai skills that I have not been trained for?
 
2012-12-03 12:13:44 PM
i've been told by close friends that my body language is all kinds of screwed up. i tend to slouch and slump down a lot, which makes me look bored or insecure. i'm also very weird about my personal space, so i shy away from people and flinch if someone touches me unexpectedly. just more things to put on the list of reasons i'm going to be single forever.
 
2012-12-03 12:13:46 PM

Pants full of macaroni!!: I'm mid-40s, ugly and never-been-married. There is no cure for this kind of creepy.


Yes there is, it's called money.
 
2012-12-03 12:14:04 PM

abhorrent1: I'm married. I'm pretty sure my body language always says "Please Kill Me!"


hahaha, I understand this.

Mostly it's more like "please stop acting friendly to me when I'm being polite, because you're making my wife jealous and I know she's going to biatch about it later"

I hate it though, because who wants to turn down talking to people they're attracted to?
 
2012-12-03 12:14:14 PM

The My Little Pony Killer: cgraves67: I find that being a little creepy is a good way to filter out the women who aren't desperate.

By scaring them away?


Precisely. The desperate ones will sleep with you out of some obscene hope that you will be able to provide whatever it is that they are looking for.
 
2012-12-03 12:14:50 PM
"People feel weird when they meet me," 27-year-old Blake Eastman tells me.

The first sentence of TFA tells me this person has failed in the very subject for which he gives advice.
 
2012-12-03 12:15:20 PM
I'm just glad that I'm forever alone because I'm ugly and boring, at least I'm not creepy
 
2012-12-03 12:16:43 PM

MassAsster: Nurglitch: I find eye-contact threatening.

!

I'm going to go ahead a call this one... single, right?


Surprisingly no. Working on it though. Not happy with the relationships I'm in at the moment.
 
2012-12-03 12:16:56 PM

EdNortonsTwin: The funniest people are the ones who are both desperate and picky.


What is "all of them", Alex?
 
2012-12-03 12:17:17 PM

cgraves67: The My Little Pony Killer: cgraves67: I find that being a little creepy is a good way to filter out the women who aren't desperate.

By scaring them away?

Precisely. The desperate ones will sleep with you out of some obscene hope that you will be able to provide whatever it is that they are looking for.


Ahh, I mistook your intentions there. Somebody has to disappoint the desperate women, after all.
 
2012-12-03 12:19:53 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: Dammit ladies! Isn't it simply enough that I don't stare at your tits for the whole date? Do I learn how to do all this subtle body language crap too?


I have a tendency to look down to avoid eye contact when I feel anxious or awkward on a date, on more than one occasion I believe my date assumed I was just staring at her chest. Then when I realize she just thought I was blatantly staring I get even more awkward, which causes me to look down again.
 
2012-12-03 12:21:03 PM

Nurglitch: MassAsster: Nurglitch: I find eye-contact threatening.

!

I'm going to go ahead a call this one... single, right?

Surprisingly no. Working on it though. Not happy with the relationships I'm in at the moment.


1000awesomethings.files.wordpress.com

I wish I could do the same... Props to you for going ahead and doing it!

Not sure what is really worse, being alone or being in a shyt relationship that you wake up it makes you say "god damn it, I'm still here.."
 
2012-12-03 12:23:07 PM
Hit them in the head. Take them to your woods cabin. Cut off their feet.

Instant chemistry.
 
2012-12-03 12:23:30 PM

MassAsster: Nurglitch: MassAsster: Nurglitch: I find eye-contact threatening.

!

I'm going to go ahead a call this one... single, right?

Surprisingly no. Working on it though. Not happy with the relationships I'm in at the moment.

[1000awesomethings.files.wordpress.com image 400x424]

I wish I could do the same... Props to you for going ahead and doing it!

Not sure what is really worse, being alone or being in a shyt relationship that you wake up it makes you say "god damn it, I'm still here.."


Oh definitely the later.
 
2012-12-03 12:23:58 PM
It's funny , because here is the key...

Acting confident and relaxed . That's the key in everything, getting a job, getting a date etc...

Relax, be confident and just go with it. I found when you didn't care if you got something, you ended up getting it.
 
2012-12-03 12:24:06 PM

Tat'dGreaser: 1) Go to Fark party

2) Do complete opposite of what every man there is doing


The complete opposite? George?
 
2012-12-03 12:24:13 PM

Tat'dGreaser: I'm just glad that I'm forever alone because I'm ugly and boring, at least I'm not creepy


I didnt realize you were a Main Page-r.
 
2012-12-03 12:25:52 PM
Malcolm Gladwell ("who I farking love to death")

So much for this guy's credibility.
 
2012-12-03 12:32:30 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com

So... don't look like a small town deputy?
 
2012-12-03 12:32:31 PM
It took me until this year to figure out why I would crash and burn with so many women before I had met my wife.

I was farking creepy. It makes my skin crawl to reflect on behavior that I thought at the time was sweet, but as I said was just creepy.

Not sure what made me not be a freakin scary creep. I do remember something like a switch flipping in my brain the summer before I met her. I just stopped giving a fark what I thought women wanted in a man, and stopped doing things I thought would impress a women. Amazingly, I had more women interested in me that year than I ever had up to that point.

Guess the moral is, don't be a creepy ass dude.
 
2012-12-03 12:34:00 PM
should I be the first to point out that there was no guide in that link or would that make me seem creepy?
 
2012-12-03 12:36:45 PM

Plant Rights Activist: should I be the first to point out that there was no guide in that link or would that make me seem creepy?


You have to pay for that - this was just an infomercial.
 
2012-12-03 12:37:14 PM

MayoSlather: The sound of one hand clapping: Dammit ladies! Isn't it simply enough that I don't stare at your tits for the whole date? Do I learn how to do all this subtle body language crap too?

I have a tendency to look down to avoid eye contact when I feel anxious or awkward on a date, on more than one occasion I believe my date assumed I was just staring at her chest. Then when I realize she just thought I was blatantly staring I get even more awkward, which causes me to look down again.


To be honest, although I was kind of joking in my initial post, truth be told I used to do what you do as well. And yeah, there were occasions where I'd get the 'were you just staring at my tits' look. The annoyed look that is, not the good kind where they are happy you'd noticed them.

Luckily I also used to date hardly ever so it wasn't much of a problem!
 
2012-12-03 12:40:47 PM
 
2012-12-03 12:42:17 PM

meat0918: Guess the moral is, don't be a creepy ass dude.


Or, more likely, find women who are attracted to creepy ass dudes.
 
2012-12-03 12:44:09 PM
My ex says I have a "creepy" vibe at times. Another female friend of mine said I have the demeanor of a Russian spy.

Maybe I should play up the latter.
 
2012-12-03 12:46:55 PM

MassAsster: It's funny , because here is the key...

Acting confident and relaxed . That's the key in everything, getting a job, getting a date etc...

Relax, be confident and just go with it. I found when you didn't care if you got something, you ended up getting it.


How does one act "confident"? That's always been my issue when people say things like this (not that they're wrong!). Nobody can explain to me what "confident" acts like, or how to arrive there. For someone who has never been truly confident in his entire life, this is as foreign a concept as quantum mechanics is to a layperson.

I'm not even confident when I know for certain that I'm going to win a race. I know the lap times of all the competition, but I'm still unnerved by all the things that can go wrong (including just being shiat behind the wheel that day). Some of us have never known confidence.

/could really use this class
 
2012-12-03 12:47:38 PM

MassAsster: Acting confident and relaxed . That's the key in everything, getting a job, getting a date etc...

Relax, be confident and just go with it. I found when you didn't care if you got something, you ended up getting it.


When it comes to other people, it really isn't that simple. I've been told by so many women, "You're the perfect person to date/marry, however you are too short by a few inches. I won't date anyone I can't wear high heels with." Pretty consistent comment that I don't make enough money to overcome (and I am not really interested enough to wear shoe inserts or stupid crap like that).
 
2012-12-03 12:49:57 PM

Dynascape: I didnt realize you were a Main Page-r.


TFD gets boring plus I hang out here inbetween sponsorships
 
2012-12-03 12:54:32 PM
Get a haircut
Brush your teeth
Comb your hair
Buy new clothes
Sit up straight
Don't act like the way we treat each either on fark is normal

There I just saved all of you losers the admission fee.
 
2012-12-03 12:54:59 PM
@
Kuroshin


Really two ways to "act confident" - trial and error.. You are never going to get comfortable doing something you hardly ever do. Go some place social and just talk to people, not to look for a date, to simply talk to people. If you are going to look for a date, your right back to being socially awkward because you know your there and you start trying hard again.

@
pkellmey

Dude, you are in the wrong crowd, sounds like some real stuck up witches. Try looking in OTHER places, or even trying something like "events and adventures"


meet up with people who enjoy doing similar things rather then going out "date hunting", that is honestly the best way to beat social awkwardness. And it works with job interviews, I interviewed awful, I applied for jobs I didnt want to just do the interview - got much better and nailed it after that every time. People smell when your "trying too hard" - and you also start to give off those socially awkward cues, tapping, looking away , staring at your meal.... that kinda crap.
 
2012-12-03 12:56:08 PM

Kuroshin: MassAsster: It's funny , because here is the key...

Acting confident and relaxed . That's the key in everything, getting a job, getting a date etc...

Relax, be confident and just go with it. I found when you didn't care if you got something, you ended up getting it.

How does one act "confident"? That's always been my issue when people say things like this (not that they're wrong!). Nobody can explain to me what "confident" acts like, or how to arrive there. For someone who has never been truly confident in his entire life, this is as foreign a concept as quantum mechanics is to a layperson.

I'm not even confident when I know for certain that I'm going to win a race. I know the lap times of all the competition, but I'm still unnerved by all the things that can go wrong (including just being shiat behind the wheel that day). Some of us have never known confidence.

/could really use this class


Arrogant, uncaring and definitely not needing said person in your life.

I only fail when I start thinking.
 
2012-12-03 12:57:46 PM

EdNortonsTwin: The funniest people are the ones who are both desperate and picky.


I'm funny, how? Like a clown? Do I amuse you?
 
2012-12-03 12:58:25 PM

pkellmey: MassAsster: Acting confident and relaxed . That's the key in everything, getting a job, getting a date etc...

Relax, be confident and just go with it. I found when you didn't care if you got something, you ended up getting it.

When it comes to other people, it really isn't that simple. I've been told by so many women, "You're the perfect person to date/marry, however you are too short by a few inches. I won't date anyone I can't wear high heels with." Pretty consistent comment that I don't make enough money to overcome (and I am not really interested enough to wear shoe inserts or stupid crap like that).


It's a shame that there are no women shorter than you out there, then. Tough to believe, but I wouldn't dare impugn your credibility or imply that you should maybe stop trying to hit on 6' tall amazons.
 
2012-12-03 01:01:00 PM
why would i want a girlfriend when i can just masturbate
 
2012-12-03 01:02:00 PM

MassAsster: Dude, you are in the wrong crowd, sounds like some real stuck up witches.


See, I read that the other way... He's apparently unwilling to lower his standards and look for girls his height or less, but when confronted with women who are unwilling to lower their standards for height, he suggests that it's all really about money. Basically, some woman says "sorry, you're too short for me" and he calls her a whore, and she's the stuck up witch?
 
2012-12-03 01:05:49 PM

Theaetetus: MassAsster: Dude, you are in the wrong crowd, sounds like some real stuck up witches.

See, I read that the other way... He's apparently unwilling to lower his standards and look for girls his height or less, but when confronted with women who are unwilling to lower their standards for height, he suggests that it's all really about money. Basically, some woman says "sorry, you're too short for me" and he calls her a whore, and she's the stuck up witch?


Well , the way I read this is he stating that they say, in their own words, he matches all the qualities they are looking for, minus the look. Sounds rather shallow to me. A difference of a matter of height has just changed the whole outlook on the person you thought was "the perfect man to marry" ? I doubt that... What was the real reason behind the blow off, because I don't think it was what was told to him..
 
2012-12-03 01:06:25 PM

Kuroshin: How does one act "confident"? That's always been my issue when people say things like this (not that they're wrong!). Nobody can explain to me what "confident" acts like, or how to arrive there. For someone who has never been truly confident in his entire life, this is as foreign a concept as quantum mechanics is to a layperson.


This is of course the chief difficulty in meeting people, and difficult to explain. However, I've been at it for a long time and feel there are two big things that can help, psychologically:
1. Learn how to identify yourself as something that you're proud of. Example: when I was in the Navy, I was stationed in Norfolk, an area completely infested with squids (and all the other services as well) and so most women had a lot of attention from sailors that left them with a bad impression. Some guys would just pretend to not be in the Navy (shaven head, windshield decals and all). I said: no. I took pride in my work, I took pride in what it took for me to be there, and was never ashamed to speak with enthusiasm about my life. Women, and honestly people in general responded positively to that. If you can't describe what you do for a living without looking broken-hearted, you're already putting yourself at a disadvantage.

2. Avoid objectifying women. I don't mean just as sex objects, because you do want to be able to compliment their looks and style, but avoid seeing them as an objective. I've been granted this ability mostly because I've been dating someone almost continuously (with a few gaps between relationships that were relatively short) for 20 years. I was never desperate to score, or even find a new relationship. If you can just treat every meeting as a chance to practice being yourself, as opposed to a job interview it can really cut down on nerves and keep you from pressing the wrong buttons or getting a desperate look in your eye.

pkellmey: When it comes to other people, it really isn't that simple. I've been told by so many women, "You're the perfect person to date/marry, however you are too short by a few inches. I won't date anyone I can't wear high heels with." Pretty consistent comment that I don't make enough money to overcome (and I am not really interested enough to wear shoe inserts or stupid crap like that).


That would be infuriating. I'd recommend taking singing or guitar lessons and joining a band. Women love that sh*t.
 
2012-12-03 01:07:44 PM

Kuroshin: MassAsster: It's funny , because here is the key...

Acting confident and relaxed . That's the key in everything, getting a job, getting a date etc...

Relax, be confident and just go with it. I found when you didn't care if you got something, you ended up getting it.

How does one act "confident"? That's always been my issue when people say things like this (not that they're wrong!). Nobody can explain to me what "confident" acts like, or how to arrive there. For someone who has never been truly confident in his entire life, this is as foreign a concept as quantum mechanics is to a layperson.

I'm not even confident when I know for certain that I'm going to win a race. I know the lap times of all the competition, but I'm still unnerved by all the things that can go wrong (including just being shiat behind the wheel that day). Some of us have never known confidence.

/could really use this class


I actually agree with you 100% Someone can't behave confidently if they don't have confidence. I think that saying that to someone is a load of crap. I never had confidence until I was about 26 or so. I tried to behave confidently but without believing in myself it was impossible. Now I don't need to try to behave confidently because I simply have confidence. You can't fake it. Although having a fat wallet would probably help to minimize any lack of confidence.
 
2012-12-03 01:07:55 PM

APE992: My ex says I have a "creepy" vibe at times.


If she still talks to you, you aren't that creepy.
 
2012-12-03 01:08:56 PM
i560.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-03 01:09:24 PM
Here's the sad part about these sorts of articles:

Creepy people will read it and say "Hey! I will make sure I do not do that stuff with my body language!"

Then no-one will be able to tell who is creepy based on body language.

Thus negating the value of any of the information in the article.
 
2012-12-03 01:09:28 PM
Don't lean into people when you talk to them.

/Did I cover it?
 
2012-12-03 01:09:58 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: Kuroshin: MassAsster: It's funny , because here is the key...

Acting confident and relaxed . That's the key in everything, getting a job, getting a date etc...

Relax, be confident and just go with it. I found when you didn't care if you got something, you ended up getting it.

How does one act "confident"? That's always been my issue when people say things like this (not that they're wrong!). Nobody can explain to me what "confident" acts like, or how to arrive there. For someone who has never been truly confident in his entire life, this is as foreign a concept as quantum mechanics is to a layperson.

I'm not even confident when I know for certain that I'm going to win a race. I know the lap times of all the competition, but I'm still unnerved by all the things that can go wrong (including just being shiat behind the wheel that day). Some of us have never known confidence.

/could really use this class

I actually agree with you 100% Someone can't behave confidently if they don't have confidence. I think that saying that to someone is a load of crap. I never had confidence until I was about 26 or so. I tried to behave confidently but without believing in myself it was impossible. Now I don't need to try to behave confidently because I simply have confidence. You can't fake it. Although having a fat wallet would probably help to minimize any lack of confidence.


Acting like your have confidence is simply a matter of comfort.. when your comfortable , you are way more confident- Can't be comfortable with something you never do, or when you do it, your always under pressure to do it right.
 
2012-12-03 01:10:22 PM

Tat'dGreaser: Dynascape: I didnt realize you were a Main Page-r.

TFD gets boring plus I hang out here inbetween sponsorships


Im pretty much in the same boat.

Same with oldfarthenry it seems. Dude hasnt been posting "poopin'" pics lately though.
 
2012-12-03 01:11:09 PM

MassAsster: Dude, you are in the wrong crowd, sounds like some real stuck up witches. Try looking in OTHER places, or even trying something like "events and adventures"


No, really, completely consistent message from every crowd type and place. Unless if you've had this issue, it may be difficult to understand how consistent this message is from women. This is completely understandable where we have a society where women have acceptable fetishes over footwear. Money may overcome a lot of this type of attitude, for good reason. The process has as much to do with weeding through the statistics until you finally find someone tired enough not to care about what everyone else does as it does with all of the other possible factors that get involved when you are dealing with people.
 
2012-12-03 01:13:12 PM
I wish more women would realize how creepy they look when they keep trying to move as far away from me as possible.
 
2012-12-03 01:18:24 PM
this is how i roll

www.bannedinhollywood.com

/no actual rolling
//back/forth like wiper blade
 
2012-12-03 01:20:27 PM

Kuroshin: How does one act "confident"?


There's no trick, it's just a simple trick: GET CONFIDENT STUPID!
 
2012-12-03 01:23:47 PM

MassAsster: A difference of a matter of height has just changed the whole outlook on the person you thought was "the perfect man to marry" ? I doubt that... What was the real reason behind the blow off, because I don't think it was what was told to him..


Probably because of things like this:

pkellmey: This is completely understandable where we have a society where women have acceptable fetishes over footwear. Money may overcome a lot of this type of attitude, for good reason.

 
2012-12-03 01:26:35 PM

pkellmey: MassAsster: Dude, you are in the wrong crowd, sounds like some real stuck up witches. Try looking in OTHER places, or even trying something like "events and adventures"

No, really, completely consistent message from every crowd type and place. Unless if you've had this issue, it may be difficult to understand how consistent this message is from women. This is completely understandable where we have a society where women have acceptable fetishes over footwear. Money may overcome a lot of this type of attitude, for good reason. The process has as much to do with weeding through the statistics until you finally find someone tired enough not to care about what everyone else does as it does with all of the other possible factors that get involved when you are dealing with people.


The logical side of me wants to believe your in a city, full of rather confident women who do the 9-5 thing and really hold their own, and have the ability to snag "the man they are looking for" because of the buffet of men around. I do agree with the last part, older woman of that type tend to come down to reality after "the man they are looking for" turns out to be a mirage.


//Maybe you better start an Asian fetish?
 
2012-12-03 01:27:08 PM
"Like, I tell people I went to Harvard, and I can tell they're thinking I'm a douche bag."

Just leave that at home buddy. If anyone wants to know they'll ask. As in "WHERE THE FARK did you get a degree in anything?-

Seriously this guy is toast - he can't tell the difference between a twitchy little class and a full blown psych work-up.

This is old news anyway - it (Body Language) was huge in the late 1970's
Mom was right again, if you live long enough everything comes around again.

i1.ytimg.com 

This, as in so many things, needs to be internalized in order to work for you. IOW's if you have to think about it - the moment's passed. Try bartending, it's a great way to figure out the stiff from Mr or Ms Generous
 
2012-12-03 01:30:10 PM
The act of worrying about body language is in itself a step toward being less creepy.
 
2012-12-03 01:31:32 PM
Relax
Be confident
Be social
Have fun
Don't think so much
Don't give a fark

Basically...

Drink

Correct dosage is important

Side effects may include: vomiting, diarrhea, headache, sensitivity to light, puffy face, bad breath, beer belly, DUI charges, chronic alcohol abuse.

Results my vary.
 
2012-12-03 01:34:06 PM

MassAsster: Theaetetus: MassAsster: Dude, you are in the wrong crowd, sounds like some real stuck up witches.

See, I read that the other way... He's apparently unwilling to lower his standards and look for girls his height or less, but when confronted with women who are unwilling to lower their standards for height, he suggests that it's all really about money. Basically, some woman says "sorry, you're too short for me" and he calls her a whore, and she's the stuck up witch?

Well , the way I read this is he stating that they say, in their own words, he matches all the qualities they are looking for, minus the look. Sounds rather shallow to me. A difference of a matter of height has just changed the whole outlook on the person you thought was "the perfect man to marry" ? I doubt that... What was the real reason behind the blow off, because I don't think it was what was told to him..


I've heard of plenty of girls who have rejected guys for seemingly petty reasons like 'too short' or 'not ambitious enough' (in other words, doesn't earn enough money). Women can be quite shallow. But that stuff almost always happens on the first date. Girl decides she will be OK going out with short guy, goes out with him, decides she doesn't like being seen in public with short guy, dumps him.

I've never heard of a girl saying 'You'd be perfect for me if not for the fact that you are not tall enough'. That would be a horrible thing to say to someone. Girls can be damned shallow, but even the shallow ones aren't usually totally heartless.
 
2012-12-03 01:46:42 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: MassAsster: Theaetetus: MassAsster: Dude, you are in the wrong crowd, sounds like some real stuck up witches.

See, I read that the other way... He's apparently unwilling to lower his standards and look for girls his height or less, but when confronted with women who are unwilling to lower their standards for height, he suggests that it's all really about money. Basically, some woman says "sorry, you're too short for me" and he calls her a whore, and she's the stuck up witch?

Well , the way I read this is he stating that they say, in their own words, he matches all the qualities they are looking for, minus the look. Sounds rather shallow to me. A difference of a matter of height has just changed the whole outlook on the person you thought was "the perfect man to marry" ? I doubt that... What was the real reason behind the blow off, because I don't think it was what was told to him..

I've heard of plenty of girls who have rejected guys for seemingly petty reasons like 'too short' or 'not ambitious enough' (in other words, doesn't earn enough money). Women can be quite shallow. But that stuff almost always happens on the first date. Girl decides she will be OK going out with short guy, goes out with him, decides she doesn't like being seen in public with short guy, dumps him.

I've never heard of a girl saying 'You'd be perfect for me if not for the fact that you are not tall enough'. That would be a horrible thing to say to someone. Girls can be damned shallow, but even the shallow ones aren't usually totally heartless.


I once had a girl tell me "You'd be perfect for me if not for the fact that you are not a girl". Talk about shallow.
 
2012-12-03 01:48:58 PM

pkellmey: meat0918: Guess the moral is, don't be a creepy ass dude.

Or, more likely, find women who are attracted to creepy ass dudes.


Possibly. Or one that can overlook some creepiness.

But seriously, I cringe in reflection of what I though "nice guys" did.

My wife says not to worry about it, that's part of getting older, and I don't do creepy things like that anymore.

Oh, also, I was on anti-depressants for a year and a half leading up to meeting her, so that might be what switched in my brain.
 
2012-12-03 01:49:30 PM
This would be perfect for me. I suck at body language.
 
2012-12-03 01:52:49 PM
Wait... FTA:

"the men look like computer programmers with their straight backs, "

Umm, does he actually know any computer programmers? I don't think I've ever seen a programmer who didn't have a nearly permanent slouch from hunching over a computer 20 hours a day.
 
2012-12-03 01:57:12 PM

Telos: Wait... FTA:

"the men look like computer programmers with their straight backs, "

Umm, does he actually know any computer programmers? I don't think I've ever seen a programmer who didn't have a nearly permanent slouch from hunching over a computer 20 hours a day.


I have a chair nice and low to the ground so I have to sit up straight to reach the keyboard. My problem will be all the hours and hours spent on a plane...
 
2012-12-03 01:59:47 PM

Theaetetus: pkellmey: MassAsster: Acting confident and relaxed . That's the key in everything, getting a job, getting a date etc...

Relax, be confident and just go with it. I found when you didn't care if you got something, you ended up getting it.

When it comes to other people, it really isn't that simple. I've been told by so many women, "You're the perfect person to date/marry, however you are too short by a few inches. I won't date anyone I can't wear high heels with." Pretty consistent comment that I don't make enough money to overcome (and I am not really interested enough to wear shoe inserts or stupid crap like that).

It's a shame that there are no women shorter than you out there, then. Tough to believe, but I wouldn't dare impugn your credibility or imply that you should maybe stop trying to hit on 6' tall amazons.


Maybe he LIKES 6' tall amazons... Everyone has a preference, y'know.

/mine would be average-height gingers
//doesn't stop me from dating short brunettes, though

I had a lot of trouble until I stopped giving a shiat... I used to be terrified of rejection, which of course showed through my body language. Now, I just go out and have fun. What happens, happens.
 
2012-12-03 02:10:09 PM
"Like, I tell people I went to Harvard, and I can tell they're thinking I'm a douche bag."

i939.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-03 02:11:44 PM

Kuroshin: How does one act "confident"? That's always been my issue when people say things like this (not that they're wrong!). Nobody can explain to me what "confident" acts like, or how to arrive there. For someone who has never been truly confident in his entire life, this is as foreign a concept as quantum mechanics is to a layperson.

I'm not even confident when I know for certain that I'm going to win a race. I know the lap times of all the competition, but I'm still unnerved by all the things that can go wrong (including just being shiat behind the wheel that day). Some of us have never known confidence.

/could really use this class


Take 3 percocet and go out interacting. That is how you should be acting.
 
2012-12-03 02:15:51 PM

Tat'dGreaser: I'm just glad that I'm forever alone because I'm ugly and boring, at least I'm not creepy


If you look at an attractive woman in a way that even slightly gives away the fact that you think she's pretty, and she thinks that you aren't anywhere close to being in her league (as in, she would find it insulting that you asked her out), you're creepy.
 
2012-12-03 02:26:58 PM

The sound of one hand clapping: I've heard of plenty of girls who have rejected guys for seemingly petty reasons like 'too short' or 'not ambitious enough' (in other words, doesn't earn enough money). Women can be quite shallow. But that stuff almost always happens on the first date. Girl decides she will be OK going out with short guy, goes out with him, decides she doesn't like being seen in public with short guy, dumps him.
I've never heard of a girl saying 'You'd be perfect for me if not for the fact that you are not tall enough'. That would be a horrible thing to say to someone. Girls can be damned shallow, but even the shallow ones aren't usually totally heartless.


Did it occur to you that maybe the women are rejecting the guys because they just don't like them that much? But don't ever try to tell a guy that--he'll just come back with "but we can keep trying!" or "but we haven't dated long enough!" or "What do you want me to do, I'll do it!" (especially if you've slept with them.) No, since to a man chemistry means nothing, just saying "sorry, but I just don't like you enough" isn't good enough. You need a REASON.

So there's your reason--you're too short. Try arguing about that.
 
2012-12-03 02:31:56 PM

Finger51: Kuroshin: How does one act "confident"?

There's no trick, it's just a simple trick: GET CONFIDENT STUPID!


"Sincerity - if you can fake that, you've got it made."
― George Burns
 
2012-12-03 02:33:33 PM

The Irresponsible Captain: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 334x500]

So... don't look like a small town deputy?


IRL, Knotts was quite the ladies' man.

BTW, this sort of guide wouldn't be quite so important if people spent a lot less time sitting in front of a terminal. Getting out in the real world, learning from others, seems to be a dying talent.
 
2012-12-03 02:34:22 PM

Langdon_777: For Guys

Scenario A) You are poor -> she chooses the guy with the BMW and nice suit.

Scenario B) You are rich -> you think her left knee is pointy.

------

Women

Scenario A) You are poor -> want a fark?

Scenario B) You are rich -> like my abs and tan?

(this could be a bit overly simplified)


Well, that's totally accurate from a man's POV, but it's actually a good deal more complicated for women.
 
2012-12-03 02:46:12 PM

Tax Boy: [i1.kym-cdn.com image 519x390]


She looks like she puts out, but she also might bite.
 
2012-12-03 02:48:34 PM

Repo Man: Tat'dGreaser: I'm just glad that I'm forever alone because I'm ugly and boring, at least I'm not creepy

If you look at an attractive woman in a way that even slightly gives away the fact that you think she's pretty, and she thinks that you aren't anywhere close to being in her league (as in, she would find it insulting that you asked her out), you're creepy.


That attitude--where a woman is insulted if the guy asking her out is too short/ugly/poor/whatever--baffles me. Any offer of a date should be seen as a compliment, even if you turn it down.
 
2012-12-03 02:52:00 PM

Arkanaut: Tax Boy: [i1.kym-cdn.com image 519x390]

She looks like she puts out, but she also might bite.


theatozofdating.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-03 03:05:20 PM

cryinoutloud: The sound of one hand clapping: I've heard of plenty of girls who have rejected guys for seemingly petty reasons like 'too short' or 'not ambitious enough' (in other words, doesn't earn enough money). Women can be quite shallow. But that stuff almost always happens on the first date. Girl decides she will be OK going out with short guy, goes out with him, decides she doesn't like being seen in public with short guy, dumps him.
I've never heard of a girl saying 'You'd be perfect for me if not for the fact that you are not tall enough'. That would be a horrible thing to say to someone. Girls can be damned shallow, but even the shallow ones aren't usually totally heartless.

Did it occur to you that maybe the women are rejecting the guys because they just don't like them that much? But don't ever try to tell a guy that--he'll just come back with "but we can keep trying!" or "but we haven't dated long enough!" or "What do you want me to do, I'll do it!" (especially if you've slept with them.) No, since to a man chemistry means nothing, just saying "sorry, but I just don't like you enough" isn't good enough. You need a REASON.

So there's your reason--you're too short. Try arguing about that.


You bring up a very valid point. And I can sympathize with women. I've seen loads of guys do what you said (They don't get a straight answer for the break up so they keep trying to preassure the woman into reconsidering). And I'm sure that plenty of women don't mean it when they say things like 'you're too short'. But I've talked to quite a few women over the years and being a tall guy myself, they don't feel the need to hold back about how they feel about short guys. Obviously I'm not talking about guys who are 5'8. But the guys who are 5'6 and below seem to have an uphill battle (no pun intended) when it comes to winning over some women's hearts.

Plus I've been on dating websites for a few months and I've seen quite a few profiles where the women outright say 'no guys shorter than me, sorry'. And sure, they have every right to do that if they want. It's their choice. Just seems silly to write of an entire group of people based on one factor. I like petite women but there's no way in hell I'm gonna rule out dating every woman above the height of 5'5 because I might miss out on someone really special.

/Just my 2 cents, not really ranting as such
 
2012-12-03 03:06:19 PM

Repo Man: If you look at an attractive woman in a way that even slightly gives away the fact that you think she's pretty, and she thinks that you aren't anywhere close to being in her league (as in, she would find it insulting that you asked her out), you're creepy.


Ever notice that the ones that get offended like that are never more than 70% as attractive as they think they are? And the really pretty ones don't get offended? I was out to dinner with my wife on Friday and we were listening to the woman at the next table complain, at length, about the "trolls" that had been hitting on her. Finally, I needed to see this goddess that thought she deserved the Brad Pitts of the world. Had a face like chewed gum, her clothes were a size too small and her hair was in desperate need of a hot oil treatment.

I think too many people think "not fat=gorgeous."
 
2012-12-03 03:08:05 PM

cryinoutloud: The sound of one hand clapping: I've heard of plenty of girls who have rejected guys for seemingly petty reasons like 'too short' or 'not ambitious enough' (in other words, doesn't earn enough money). Women can be quite shallow. But that stuff almost always happens on the first date. Girl decides she will be OK going out with short guy, goes out with him, decides she doesn't like being seen in public with short guy, dumps him.
I've never heard of a girl saying 'You'd be perfect for me if not for the fact that you are not tall enough'. That would be a horrible thing to say to someone. Girls can be damned shallow, but even the shallow ones aren't usually totally heartless.

Did it occur to you that maybe the women are rejecting the guys because they just don't like them that much? But don't ever try to tell a guy that--he'll just come back with "but we can keep trying!" or "but we haven't dated long enough!" or "What do you want me to do, I'll do it!" (especially if you've slept with them.) No, since to a man chemistry means nothing, just saying "sorry, but I just don't like you enough" isn't good enough. You need a REASON.

So there's your reason--you're too short. Try arguing about that.


Bingo.

You are not too short; they just don't want to date you.

If someone doesn't want to date you, just accept that. If you demand a reason (or if they just offer one to make themselves feel better), ignore it.
 
2012-12-03 03:09:04 PM

PsiChick: Langdon_777: For Guys

Scenario A) You are poor -> she chooses the guy with the BMW and nice suit.

Scenario B) You are rich -> you think her left knee is pointy.

------

Women

Scenario A) You are poor -> want a fark?

Scenario B) You are rich -> like my abs and tan?

(this could be a bit overly simplified)

Well, that's totally accurate from a man's POV, but it's actually a good deal more complicated for women.


Says someone who describes herself as "[p]retty much exactly as interesting as everyone else on Fark."

Do tell me of the complications of women. I've been explaining that men, in fact, can be individuals and have differing interests for YEARS. But "all men ___" is still the classic, sometimes sarcastic, opener for a female-oriented article.
 
2012-12-03 03:20:47 PM

dustygrimp: Repo Man: If you look at an attractive woman in a way that even slightly gives away the fact that you think she's pretty, and she thinks that you aren't anywhere close to being in her league (as in, she would find it insulting that you asked her out), you're creepy.

Ever notice that the ones that get offended like that are never more than 70% as attractive as they think they are? And the really pretty ones don't get offended? I was out to dinner with my wife on Friday and we were listening to the woman at the next table complain, at length, about the "trolls" that had been hitting on her. Finally, I needed to see this goddess that thought she deserved the Brad Pitts of the world. Had a face like chewed gum, her clothes were a size too small and her hair was in desperate need of a hot oil treatment.

I think too many people think "not fat=gorgeous."


Yup. I'm no Brad Pitt myself. I'm just an average looking guy. And yeah, I've caught sight of plenty of beautiful women over the years and had them notice me noticing them. Can't actually think of a single one that gave me any sort of disgusted look. To be honest, even though they are out of my league, a lot of them seem happy enough being noticed. After all, unless the guy is being creepy and oogling them, why wouldn't they enjoy a bit of quick attention? I think that beautiful girls get too much of a bad rap sometimes because they get more than their fair share of creepy guys spending 5 minutes staring at their ass as they walk by. So occasionally they react badly to it but after all, wouldn't we all?

I think that mostly the girls who do the whole 'ewww, he's totally gross and he totally just checked me out' are simply the ones who have real attitude problems and love drama. They love to be able to go on about it to raise their own self profile like how they are only reacting like that because they are so out of those guys leagues.
 
2012-12-03 03:24:06 PM

star_topology: Don't lean into people when you talk to them.

/Did I cover it?


We had a temp at work like that. He violated peoples no fly zones big time. Worse yet he did it right at the beginning of the shift. Our shift starts at 10pm...no one is all happy and ready to go at 10pm. We really didnt need some dude we didnt really know getting 3 inches from our face and popping out "yo homie whats up?" as soon as we walked in the door.
 
2012-12-03 03:24:38 PM

Tax Boy: Arkanaut: Tax Boy: [i1.kym-cdn.com image 519x390]

She looks like she puts out, but she also might bite.

[theatozofdating.files.wordpress.com image 420x315]



Biting is good.

/Bunnies are tasty.
 
2012-12-03 03:43:03 PM

Nurglitch: I find eye-contact threatening.

Cool story time: I was at a conference for CFAs and the motivational speaker dude that was hired to speak suggested that men prefer to stand side by side when discussing things, and women preferred to stand opposite. So, as something of a party-game, he proposed that men try to speak to women face to face and women try to speak to men side by side. The result turned the conference hall into something of a dance floor, albeit one with no music except for the strange discussion that one gets in rooms full of CFAs and other financial types.

That was cool, right? Right?!


Worst. Story. Ever.
 
2012-12-03 03:45:07 PM
You bring up a very valid point. And I can sympathize with women. I've seen loads of guys do what you said (They don't get a straight answer for the break up so they keep trying to preassure the woman into reconsidering). And I'm sure that plenty of women don't mean it when they say things like 'you're too short'. But I've talked to quite a few women over the years and being a tall guy myself, they don't feel the need to hold back about how they feel about short guys. Obviously I'm not talking about guys who are 5'8. But the guys who are 5'6 and below seem to have an uphill battle (no pun intended) when it comes to winning over some women's hearts.

Plus I've been on dating websites for a few months and I've seen quite a few profiles where the women outright say 'no guys shorter than me, sorry'. And sure, they have every right to do that if they want. It's their choice. Just seems silly to write of an entire group of people based on one factor. I like petite women but there's no way in hell I'm gonna rule out dating every woman above the height of 5'5 because I might miss out on someone really special.


Women do have a right to specify a minimum height in personal ads. What I find amusing is how horrified they would be if a man were to specify a minimum bra cup size in his ad. Of course, women mentioning the required height of men trying out for the position of boyfriend are so common that no one really thinks much of it. I've never read an ad by a man nervy enough to mention a minimum breast size when looking for a woman. Both of these preferences are somewhat arbitrary, though both are likely rooted in evolutionary psychology. I just think the double standard is amusing.
I'm 6' 3", and living proof that it takes more than being tall to get lucky. I really don't care how tall a woman is; my last girlfriend was 5'3" or so.
 
2012-12-03 03:47:28 PM

Sultan Of Herf: star_topology: Don't lean into people when you talk to them.

/Did I cover it?

We had a temp at work like that. He violated peoples no fly zones big time. Worse yet he did it right at the beginning of the shift. Our shift starts at 10pm...no one is all happy and ready to go at 10pm. We really didnt need some dude we didnt really know getting 3 inches from our face and popping out "yo homie whats up?" as soon as we walked in the door.


The close talker. Have you ever had one where, when they got too close, you backed up a bit, only to have them come closer? You find yourself backing around the room until you are cornered.
 
2012-12-03 03:48:09 PM

Repo Man: Tat'dGreaser: I'm just glad that I'm forever alone because I'm ugly and boring, at least I'm not creepy

If you look at an attractive woman in a way that even slightly gives away the fact that you think she's pretty, and she thinks that you aren't anywhere close to being in her league (as in, she would find it insulting that you asked her out), you're creepy.


fark all that.

Accuracy by Volume™
 
2012-12-03 03:48:32 PM

Repo Man: Women do have a right to specify a minimum height in personal ads. What I find amusing is how horrified they would be if a man were to specify a minimum bra cup size in his ad.


To be fair, height /= boobie size.

If they were going around saying they would only date a man if his penis was at least 6" you might have a point.
 
2012-12-03 03:56:42 PM

CapeFearCadaver: Repo Man: Women do have a right to specify a minimum height in personal ads. What I find amusing is how horrified they would be if a man were to specify a minimum bra cup size in his ad.

To be fair, height /= boobie size.

If they were going around saying they would only date a man if his penis was at least 6" you might have a point.


Where is the body part conversion chart? Who decides what is equal to what? Elevator shoes and padded bras seem pretty equivalent to me. But, that's just my opinion man.
 
2012-12-03 04:01:29 PM

pkellmey: When it comes to other people, it really isn't that simple. I've been told by so many women, "You're the perfect person to date/marry, however you are too short by a few inches. I won't date anyone I can't wear high heels with." Pretty consistent comment that I don't make enough money to overcome (and I am not really interested enough to wear shoe inserts or stupid crap like that).


You should thank them for allowing you to dodge their bullet. Any woman that will make decisions on such shallow meaningless traits isn't the woman for you. If anything, being short gives you an additional tool to filter out the shallow types, despite (or because of) the social disadvantage that being shorter can inflict.

Addendum: it's usually a good idea to avoid the status conscious extroverts and instead find a nice quiet girl with an depth of intellect, interests, and passion.

/Tall
//Ended up with a status conscious extroverted wife that later said she wouldn't have considered me if i wasn't as tall as I am
///Learn from my example or suffer the consequences!
 
2012-12-03 04:14:22 PM
Stevie Ray Fromstein: Not Aggressive Enough

I had a real life experience that was almost exactly like his last joke. I'm the expert at snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
 
2012-12-03 04:19:26 PM

Galloping Galoshes: I took this class, it was great! If it weren't for him, I'd still be bringing my axe with me to dates. I still kinda miss pointing out the bloodstains....


i47.tinypic.com
 
2012-12-03 04:22:14 PM

Trayal: pkellmey: When it comes to other people, it really isn't that simple. I've been told by so many women, "You're the perfect person to date/marry, however you are too short by a few inches. I won't date anyone I can't wear high heels with." Pretty consistent comment that I don't make enough money to overcome (and I am not really interested enough to wear shoe inserts or stupid crap like that).

You should thank them for allowing you to dodge their bullet. Any woman that will make decisions on such shallow meaningless traits isn't the woman for you. If anything, being short gives you an additional tool to filter out the shallow types, despite (or because of) the social disadvantage that being shorter can inflict.

Addendum: it's usually a good idea to avoid the status conscious extroverts and instead find a nice quiet girl with an depth of intellect, interests, and passion.

/Tall
//Ended up with a status conscious extroverted wife that later said she wouldn't have considered me if i wasn't as tall as I am
///Learn from my example or suffer the consequences!


Everyone loves a slut.
 
2012-12-03 04:29:27 PM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: "Like, I tell people I went to Harvard, and I can tell they're thinking I'm a douche bag."

[JFP pic]


This reminds me of the guy my freshman year in college who went around telling everybody what his ACT scores were.
 
2012-12-03 04:30:42 PM
I'm certainly no expert, but I've found the following tips to be helpful in the dating game:

1. Be aware of your posture. Stand up straight, sit up straight.

2. Create inside jokes that can be referrenced later.

3. Be passionate about something.

4. Use physical touch and sexual innueno in a moderate amount.
 
2012-12-03 04:31:14 PM

Repo Man: CapeFearCadaver: Repo Man: Women do have a right to specify a minimum height in personal ads. What I find amusing is how horrified they would be if a man were to specify a minimum bra cup size in his ad.

To be fair, height /= boobie size.

If they were going around saying they would only date a man if his penis was at least 6" you might have a point.

Where is the body part conversion chart? Who decides what is equal to what? Elevator shoes and padded bras seem pretty equivalent to me. But, that's just my opinion man.


What about "No fat chicks"? Is that okay?
 
2012-12-03 04:38:07 PM

feffer: Repo Man: CapeFearCadaver: Repo Man: Women do have a right to specify a minimum height in personal ads. What I find amusing is how horrified they would be if a man were to specify a minimum bra cup size in his ad.

To be fair, height /= boobie size.

If they were going around saying they would only date a man if his penis was at least 6" you might have a point.

Where is the body part conversion chart? Who decides what is equal to what? Elevator shoes and padded bras seem pretty equivalent to me. But, that's just my opinion man.

What about "No fat chicks"? Is that okay?


No bolt-ons.
 
2012-12-03 04:39:51 PM

MayoSlather: The sound of one hand clapping: Dammit ladies! Isn't it simply enough that I don't stare at your tits for the whole date? Do I learn how to do all this subtle body language crap too?

I have a tendency to look down to avoid eye contact when I feel anxious or awkward on a date, on more than one occasion I believe my date assumed I was just staring at her chest. Then when I realize she just thought I was blatantly staring I get even more awkward, which causes me to look down again.


I rarely look at anyone in the eyes when they are talking to me. If I am looking at them at all it'll be watching their mouth. It is certainly an unfortunate habit to develop, but I'm sure it'll come in handy when I'm deaf. But my eyes skitter around a lot so I can hope people don't necessarily think much of it - I'm sure it does get noticed since this is by no means a normal thing to do, but hopefully they don't find it creepy (they probably do).

.

As far as confidence goes - not that I am much of one to talk on this subject at all - I've developed a saying: I have no confidence, only arrogance and ignorance.
 
2012-12-03 05:29:12 PM
"Like, I tell people I went to Harvard, and I can tell they're thinking I'm a douche bag."

Ahh...gonna go ahead and agree with your hypothesis, Sherlock.
 
2012-12-03 05:30:34 PM
Having been asked if I was a serial killer before, I am getting a kick out of these creepy replies.

/they ha to be at least half joking, right? No one would ask someone they thought was a killer that.
//but then, this has happened more than once so it must be half seious too
//not a slasher, just a slasher.
 
2012-12-03 06:28:09 PM
I've found the key to building self confidence is to have sex with many beautiful women.
 
2012-12-03 06:31:12 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: why would i want a girlfriend when i can just masturbate



FOUR hand poker is always more fun.
 
2012-12-03 07:16:14 PM

that was my nickname in highschool: Being interested but poor is a sure-fire way to creep a woman out.


Or old, or ugly, or short, or talking too much about the F-15, or bald, or fat, or ...
 
2012-12-03 07:30:42 PM
 
2012-12-03 07:34:56 PM

Holocaust Agnostic: Having been asked if I was a serial killer before

...

No, I wouldn't say serial.
 
2012-12-03 07:45:47 PM

Kuroshin: How does one act "confident"? That's always been my issue when people say things like this (not that they're wrong!). Nobody can explain to me what "confident" acts like, or how to arrive there. For someone who has never been truly confident in his entire life, this is as foreign a concept as quantum mechanics is to a layperson.

I'm not even confident when I know for certain that I'm going to win a race. I know the lap times of all the competition, but I'm still unnerved by all the things that can go wrong (including just being shiat behind the wheel that day). Some of us have never known confidence.

/could really use this class


2 drinks helps, to start off, just to break through that mental wall. Avoid more than 3 in an evening unless you're really spacing them out, if your goal is to make conversation with relatively sober people; it slows your brain and no one likes an awkward drunk unless they're drunk too.

Cocaine and weed can also be great ways to become lively and engaging, but they're expensive, addictive, make you feel shiatty after sobering up, and tend to turn you into a raging asshole when you stop thinking at all before you talk. Note: Assholes are interesting and funny in moderation, which is why some people love cokeheads; worrying too much about offending anyone about anything you say, sober or not, makes one pretty uninteresting.

Enough about priming, the way to fake confidence is to just walk up to the guy or gal you want to talk to and ask them something. My default is "Hey, did I see you at [some event] recently?" Can be a show, gallery, anywhere you've been really. (If you actually have seen them, even better.) If they have, great, but even if not, you segue into asking about what they're doing there. Figure out a few things about yourself that are the most interesting, and bring one of them up when the chance comes; people are automatically attracted by someone passionate about something, as long as it's not all they can talk about. Also, compliment them, especially if they compliment you or someone else, and use their name, people like that. If you don't remember, just ask again, but if you forget again, might want to ask someone else to avoid annoying them. Interrupt and interject, but not enough to be an asshole. In a lull, pick another topic at random; girls love to talk about where they got whatever they're wearing if you can't think of anything else, and almost everyone likes music.

A lot of young people smoke socially just because bumming a cig or going out for a break with others already smoking is an ice breaker.

Most of the people you meet you probably won't see again, or it will be some time later, so don't be too shy. It's not high school anymore, rumors aren't going to fly if you flub a line.

Keeping a conversation going is a lot harder for me than breaking the ice - I'm just too naturally thoughtful to have the gift of gab, plus I'm not too into sports. Can't help you too much there. But it's easy enough to meet interesting and beautiful people, and they'll often introduce you to more people, and in a group it's always easier to keep a conversation going.

All just my opinion, which means fark all. Others have their ways, too.
 
2012-12-03 08:03:54 PM

neutronstar: I'm certainly no expert, but I've found the following tips to be helpful in the dating game:

1. Be aware of your posture. Stand up straight, sit up straight.

2. Create inside jokes that can be referrenced later.

3. Be passionate about something.

4. Use physical touch and sexual innueno in a moderate amount.


Oh hell, forgot about that. Obviously, don't grope strangers, but a shoulder pat or a quick arm grip while you're explaining something goes a long way. As an extension, get animated with your hands, even if you just want to stick 'em in your pockets or fold 'em.

Know your audience, too, though: You can really freak out introverts with touching and big gestures. If you are one, you know that all too well.

How to connect with serious introverts: Get their email/FB/IM name and go online to talk. :p
 
2012-12-03 08:10:55 PM

pkellmey: When it comes to other people, it really isn't that simple. I've been told by so many women, "You're the perfect person to date/marry, however you are too short by a few inches. I won't date anyone I can't wear high heels with." Pretty consistent comment that I don't make enough money to overcome (and I am not really interested enough to wear shoe inserts or stupid crap like that).


I never wear heels because I find them uncomfortable as all hell, and if you're still shorter than me, WGAF.
 
2012-12-03 08:42:07 PM
heili skrimsli:

WOW - read your profile, we need to hang out...
 
2012-12-03 08:47:53 PM
Not being creepy is a critical skill when it comes to meeting people, especially if you are male.

1) Never, ever, EVER continue to pursue someone who has said she's not interested.
2) Looking threatening is creepy, but being caught trying to look nonthreatening is creepier.
3) Leave your obsessions at home. If you must express an obsession, then express several different obsessions at the same time. If you cannot do this, you need more obsessions.
4) Anyone you pursue already knows that you think about sex a lot, but many don't care to be reminded of the fact. Leave the sexual humor -jokes, clothes, pickup lines, etc.- at home.
5) Practice basic hygiene: shower regularly and after exercise, brush your teeth, keep up on your laundry, and do something with your hair (anything, really, as long as you're not ignoring it).

These guidelines, especially the first, will go a long way.
 
2012-12-03 09:19:25 PM

MassAsster: heili skrimsli:

WOW - read your profile, we need to hang out...


Hanging out is one of my talents.
 
2012-12-03 10:00:30 PM
Too many responses to take 'em one-by-one, but I'd like to thank those who took the time to give advice.

Kinda wish I hadn't been on the road all day, so I could have kept up with the thread.
 
2012-12-03 10:40:32 PM

jshine: Holocaust Agnostic: Having been asked if I was a serial killer before...

No, I wouldn't say serial.



*I* would, over and over and over.......
 
2012-12-04 01:14:24 AM
I kinda have a "creepy" problem. Only with trying to find a date of course (and its rare to find myself in that situation)

I feel like I have been around people 10-15+ years older than me for too much of my life. At work people under 40 are rare as hell,(I am the youngest in the branch of 100+ ppl @ 26) and there is about a male/female ratio of about 100:1 Been thinking about going to community collage locally just to re-integrate myself with people somewhat close to my age. Well - that and attempt some calculus to try and go for an engineering degree.

It also kinda sucks that all my close friends are the bad stereotype of video game nerds and are literally content with doing NOTHING but playing video games all day. That and work. Absolutely nothing else.

Any tips on re-integration? I feel like I am losing my humanity. Being introverted with introverted friends has kept me in a vicious cycle that I want to - and need to break.
 
2012-12-04 03:11:16 AM
I'm by no means a good-looking man. When I was young, slim, and had long hair, I could have passed for Steve Perry's younger brother (if you were feeling charitable). But in my late 20's, I started having women become interested in me.

It was just after my ex-wife and I split. The company I had worked for went under, so I had to take a job at Wal-Mart. I was still smarting from the breakup, so I had decided to not even consider getting involved with a woman for awhile. During my breaks and lunches, I wasn't really all that nervous talking to the women who worked there (even the pretty ones) because I really had not interest in them sexually. We'd just hang out, crack jokes, and go back to work. Somehow, my lack of interest was mistaken for confidence, and some of the ladies started being friendly.

Well, I would sometimes go out and smoke, and one of my smoke buddies made it fairly obvious that she liked me, but I kinda let her know that I wasn't ready to get into something yet. It was raining outside one day, so we went out to her car to smoke. We sat and chatted for a bit, and things got kinda quiet. She was cute, I was feeling weak and lonely, so I leaned in and we made out until lunch was over. I felt bad afterwards because we were friends, she was nice, and I didn't want to use her as a rebound woman. We backed off a bit and didn't really talk about it.

As you all know, gossip in a place like that spreads like fire, and the tale gets taller as it's being told. Apparently, my friend went and told her friends that worked there that I was a good kisser. After that, I started getting long, full-body hugs from these girls that were barely out of high school. I tried to stay strong and use my head, but my resolve got weaker and weaker. Eventually, I gave in to my hormones and head my own little sexual revolution.

I've tried to analyze how this all happened to an unattractive bum like me. Was it luck? Was it because I treated these women in a way they were unused to? Were they just desperate and I was the least unattractive male around at the time? All of the above? Who knows. I just know that I had some wild days and nights
 
2012-12-04 06:54:44 AM

MeinFurhrerICanStand: Any tips on re-integration? I feel like I am losing my humanity. Being introverted with introverted friends has kept me in a vicious cycle that I want to - and need to break.


The community college idea isn't a bad one at all. One thing you'll hear a lot is to find groups of people who share your interests, and not only college campuses tend to have a lot of them, they even advertise the fact. Big ready-made social groups that you can walk into already knowing that you have stuff in common with them.
 
2012-12-04 07:30:17 AM

Millennium: MeinFurhrerICanStand: Any tips on re-integration? I feel like I am losing my humanity. Being introverted with introverted friends has kept me in a vicious cycle that I want to - and need to break.

The community college idea isn't a bad one at all. One thing you'll hear a lot is to find groups of people who share your interests, and not only college campuses tend to have a lot of them, they even advertise the fact. Big ready-made social groups that you can walk into already knowing that you have stuff in common with them.


Meet ups. Low pressure, not based on dating, often involve drinking alcohol, and they're groups of people you already have something in common with. They don't require a large investment of time or money, and you can try as many of them as you like.
 
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