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(Fark)   Subby's going through his first typhoon tomorrow, Typhoon Bopha (aka Pablo). Needs advice   (fark.com) divider line 176
    More: Advice, browser  
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1574 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2012 at 12:26 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



176 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2012-12-03 11:25:33 AM  
Stand with your back towards the wind if you have to piddle in your yard.
 
2012-12-03 11:50:02 AM  
Don't live in a shanty town, Pangit.
 
2012-12-03 11:50:08 AM  
you're farked
 
2012-12-03 12:27:18 PM  
Spin in the opposite direction.

/seriously, ask the locals, stay safe.
 
2012-12-03 12:27:46 PM  
wear clean underware.
 
2012-12-03 12:28:30 PM  
underwear
 
2012-12-03 12:28:56 PM  
kind of late to be asking
 
2012-12-03 12:29:08 PM  
You will get wet, don't panic.
 
2012-12-03 12:29:33 PM  
silverchips.mbhs.edu

Don't trust anyone!
 
2012-12-03 12:29:35 PM  
Where are you?
Lived in Okinawa for quite a few years.
/no biggie....the Okinawans walked around with Umbrellas while we were all "EVACUATE!!!"
 
2012-12-03 12:30:20 PM  
You're gonna need a bigger boat.

Board the windows.
Move everything you can to the highest spot in the house.
Make sure you've got plenty of drinking water for the next 2wks/month.
Move to higher ground if you're in a surge area.

Good luck.
 
2012-12-03 12:30:43 PM  
Make sure Chris Christie is running your State...
 
2012-12-03 12:31:12 PM  
Make sure it's hooked up to the internet so you can read Fark, the scan takes forever.

depts.washington.edu
 
2012-12-03 12:31:24 PM  
All power will be out. Go get as much cash as possible as ATMs/credit cards will be useless for a while.
 
2012-12-03 12:32:15 PM  

I'm an excellent driver: Make sure Chris Christie is running your State...


and Blanco isn't
 
2012-12-03 12:32:44 PM  
Are you going "through" the typhoon, as in FLYING through it, or are you on the ground and will be hit by it?
 
2012-12-03 12:34:24 PM  
Step 1 - Panic
 
2012-12-03 12:35:15 PM  
Stock up on booz and girls as the bars will likely be closed....
 
2012-12-03 12:35:33 PM  
FYI....



Subby is probably in the PI

TAKE SHELTER STOCK UP ON BOOZE AND HOOKERS!!!!
 
2012-12-03 12:36:08 PM  
Don't expect ANY help from FEMA or any other agency for at least 72 hours.

You need 3 days of supplies. The most important of which is drinking water. 1.5Gal of potable water per person, per 24 hours. Diarrhea can induce dehydration, hence there's no such thing as extra water.

You may be without electricity and without means to realistically create a working fire pit to cook on. With that in mind, you need to have 3 days of food that does not need to be cooked. Canned foods usually do not need to be cooked, but may need to be diluted with your drinking water -- so keep that in mind when determining how much water to get.

Wool is the only common material that stays warm EVEN WHEN WET. I would recommend a wool blanket and/or clothing/socks. Do not think that because you're in a tropical climate that it will not get cold. When you're wet, you're always cold.

You may have to deal with panicking locals. In that event, carry a firearm if possible. Otherwise, implement a weapon of some sort. This is of least importance, despite what some people may think.

Carry a knife on you at all times. It's not only for defense, but in an emergency, the necessity to cut things tends to come up quite a bit.
 
2012-12-03 12:36:34 PM  

nordicgod: Stock up on booz and girls as the bars will likely be closed....


/shakes impotent tiny fist....
//I was getting a graphic..

media.10news.com
 
2012-12-03 12:36:34 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
Stay away from this guy.
 
2012-12-03 12:36:53 PM  
There's no shame in running away, screaming like a little girl....unless your friends are around to watch you, in which case, get different friends when it's all over.
 
2012-12-03 12:37:06 PM  
Cash. Lots of ice and lots of beer.
 
2012-12-03 12:37:06 PM  
this will give you a basic overview. You'll want to contact Eurofighter for more specs on what everything needs to be during the rebuild.

Here's another basic image of what you're in for:

www.mediastorehouse.com

Let me know how it turns out! I hear they're a blast to fly!

\I'd follow hurricane rules: hide from wind, run from water
\\be safe out there
 
2012-12-03 12:37:49 PM  
move.
 
2012-12-03 12:38:02 PM  
Get an LED flashlight or lantern; one set of batteries should be plenty for this storm. (You can get more later.)

Charge your mobile phone and any other devices.

Fill containers with drinking water.

Do laundry NOW.
 
2012-12-03 12:38:10 PM  
Is your national emergency agency director a horse judge too?
 
2012-12-03 12:38:48 PM  
Duck.
 
2012-12-03 12:39:32 PM  
Food, water, guns, ammo, toilet paper, external cell phone battery, non-electronic fapping materials.
 
2012-12-03 12:40:10 PM  
www.ooyay.com
Then Kiss it Goodbye.
 
2012-12-03 12:41:23 PM  
supernaturaladdicted.weebly.com

"You hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. Because it is."

/hot like Ruby
 
2012-12-03 12:41:24 PM  
Lot's of water. Cash. Get a filter and replacement cartridges too if you can. Pack some of your essentials in dry bags that you may not have to open for a while. Even if they get lost your stuff will float, stay dry and your name could be on it.
Booze.
 
2012-12-03 12:41:26 PM  

MadMattressMack: this will give you a basic overview. You'll want to contact Eurofighter for more specs on what everything needs to be during the rebuild.

Here's another basic image of what you're in for:

[www.mediastorehouse.com image 450x236]

Let me know how it turns out! I hear they're a blast to fly!

\I'd follow hurricane rules: hide from wind, run from water
\\be safe out there


If he's just going through the engine, I'd recommend he take of his clothes, hardhats, etc, in order to limit damage to the turbines.
 
2012-12-03 12:43:00 PM  

RatOmeter: MadMattressMack: this will give you a basic overview. You'll want to contact Eurofighter for more specs on what everything needs to be during the rebuild.

Here's another basic image of what you're in for:

[www.mediastorehouse.com image 450x236]

Let me know how it turns out! I hear they're a blast to fly!

\I'd follow hurricane rules: hide from wind, run from water
\\be safe out there

If he's just going through the engine, I'd recommend he take of his clothes, hardhats, etc, in order to limit damage to the turbines.


Pink slime
 
2012-12-03 12:45:40 PM  
Adding to my initial list:

You may need means to signaling and communication. Do not expect your cell phone to work during a civil emergency. If you do not have an amateur radio license or any training in that field, your means of radio communication are nil. But, you can still use chemical light sticks (glo-sticks) to signal for help.

Road flares, chemical light sticks (glow sticks/glo-sticks) and hand-mirrors (for daytime) signaling.

Keep a very loud whistle on you at all times. If the structure you are in collapses, yelling may not be possible, but if you're breathing, you can blow the whistle. Plus, if you're injured, the last thing you need to do is yell.

Because it is a typhoon, you will need means of flotation. You may be able to swim well, but you can't do it forever and you may need to help others. A simple life vest may suffice, but I would recommend having several of them on-hand in case they're needed by others. Trust me, when YOU are doing well, others around you will either swarm to you, or you will want to help them.
 
2012-12-03 12:48:23 PM  

tuxq: Trust me, when YOU are doing well, others around you will either swarm to you

 
2012-12-03 12:48:29 PM  
Too late to learn how to surf?
 
2012-12-03 12:49:31 PM  
Stock up on shoes.

Zombie Imelda is coming. 

theendofcollection.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-03 12:49:37 PM  
Ahhh, yes, I endured many typhoons in my youth when I lived in the Philippines. Typhoon Yoling went right through Manila, didn't get power back for three weeks.

Store up PLENTY of clean water. Mosquito netting so you can spend hot nights outside. Candles, some food, really don't need a lot....batteries for the radio, gas in the car/motorcycle if ya got one....weapons if you can, to defend against robbers/looters...eat all your refridgerated stuff, 'cause it's gone, man, you ain't gonna see power for a while...

Third world countries have a tough time coping with disasters.
 
2012-12-03 12:51:48 PM  

Savage Bacon: [supernaturaladdicted.weebly.com image 250x291]

"You hoard toilet paper. You understand me? Hoard it. Hoard it like it's made of gold. Because it is."

/hot like Ruby


LOTS AND LOTS OF THIS!

and have plenty of dry undies and socks... pack'em in zip lock bags... no, not that kind.. the good stuff.

you don't want stuff getting fungus-y and fall off...
 
2012-12-03 12:52:04 PM  
Get out of town, today.
 
2012-12-03 12:53:16 PM  
sharkrobot.com
 
2012-12-03 12:54:29 PM  
Hookers only take cash during typhoons. Get yourself to the local ATM now!
 
2012-12-03 12:56:57 PM  
Typhoon Party!!
 
2012-12-03 12:58:29 PM  
Well, first check that the turbo bearings aren't cooked... and realize that GM electronics of the era suck and probably need attention. Watch out for the front half-shafts, they are notoriously weak. Otherwise, enjoy your Q-ship, they are murder in a straight line!
 
2012-12-03 12:58:59 PM  
Hunker down.
 
2012-12-03 12:59:10 PM  
Move.

If not possible, find religion. Or a raft.
 
2012-12-03 12:59:54 PM  
Watch out for your corn-hole, bud
 
2012-12-03 01:00:13 PM  
1. Chain yourself to some sturdy railings.

2. You will know what it feels like to 'fly'. The chains are there to make sure you don't get blown away too far.

3. Have fun.
 
2012-12-03 01:02:37 PM  
Vote Republican and blame it on them.
 
2012-12-03 01:03:22 PM  
Booze, snacks, lube, charcoal, extra booze..

That should cover it.
 
2012-12-03 01:04:05 PM  
i want you to get together all the hottest flip girls and send them to me. ill protect them thru all this.

let the fob's fight off the storm
 
2012-12-03 01:04:18 PM  

ChipNASA: Where are you?
Lived in Okinawa for quite a few years.
/no biggie....the Okinawans walked around with Umbrellas while we were all "EVACUATE!!!"


Pulled into Guam just after a super typhoon hit, saw a tugboat from the harbor sitting in the middle of a road. A friend of mine was there on a ship that couldn't get underway to avoid the storm, so they moored to the pier with double steel wire moorings. When the storm cleared they were aground on the far side of the harbor. Also found out why the base housing was built with re-bar reinforced poured concrete walls.

/beautiful place
//wouldn't want to be there for a typhoon
 
2012-12-03 01:04:47 PM  
if you have a car, fill on gas and a dc converter- mobility and a generator.

acquire a cheap solar cell. the car will be for quick charging, solar cell more of a passive charger.

get a few rechargeable batteries, and a flashlight as well as a radio that uses rechargeables.

i wouldn't worry too much about a cell phone; if the typhoon's strong enough, the local towers will be knocked out.

if you have a bathtub, fill it with water. this is sanitation water, not drinking (toilet/laundry, if someone gets hurt, et cetera)

some sort of feul outside of your vehicle- for cooking as well (charcaol, wood, petrol based)

have a shovel, it has many uses (mainly digging pits (makeshift toilet/cooking pit), but also can be used as an anti zombie device)

double plus on the knife, if you can something like a leatherman or a gerber (utiltiy knife)
 
2012-12-03 01:05:28 PM  
It may be your first typhoon, subby, but it's probably not the first typhoon to hit where you're now living. Find some rational, non-religious, long time locals whom you can trust. They will be able to give you the best information: things like which way the water will flow, places to avoid, where shelters may be located and I'm sure a number of things dumbasses have done in the past that you'll not want to do...
 
2012-12-03 01:06:40 PM  

Gleeman: ChipNASA: Where are you?
Lived in Okinawa for quite a few years.
/no biggie....the Okinawans walked around with Umbrellas while we were all "EVACUATE!!!"

Pulled into Guam just after a super typhoon hit, saw a tugboat from the harbor sitting in the middle of a road. A friend of mine was there on a ship that couldn't get underway to avoid the storm, so they moored to the pier with double steel wire moorings. When the storm cleared they were aground on the far side of the harbor. Also found out why the base housing was built with re-bar reinforced poured concrete walls.

/beautiful place
//wouldn't want to be there for a typhoon


We had the same typhoon hit us twicein 96 hours.....
Sandbags.....
MRE
LOTS and LOTS of BOOZE!!!
 
2012-12-03 01:08:14 PM  
A good towel.
 
2012-12-03 01:10:36 PM  
For some reason I first read the headline as "Subby's going on his honeymoon tomorrow and needs advice". So, maybe the advice would be the same.
 
2012-12-03 01:13:17 PM  

eltejon: A good towel.

this.

don't forget your towel.
 
2012-12-03 01:14:29 PM  
www.onlineworldofwrestling.com

Just run from him, he don't look fast
 
2012-12-03 01:15:10 PM  
Beer
 
2012-12-03 01:16:14 PM  

Gleeman: Pulled into Guam just after a super typhoon hit


We lived 2 years on Guam back in early 90s. We went through 8 typhoons. My advice is mainly the water, garbage pails, bathtubs, whatever you have, fill it. Next up would be the sandbags on the doors. Yes, it stops the doors blowing away I guess, but have your bucket and mop handy, because all you will be doing the next 12-24 hours is mopping water up that leaks through. They should come around with water buffalos to give you drinking water, so I wouldn't worry too much about that. but the toilet will need it most. Remember: If it's brown, flush it down, if it's yellow, let it mellow! good luck!

/oh, we had landlines for 3 days after, because of battery backups. Again this was back in 92-93.
//if you can afford it, stay in a ritzy hotel. They always have power backups, and you'll be livin large.
///again, good luck!
 
2012-12-03 01:16:24 PM  
Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.
 
2012-12-03 01:18:16 PM  
Fill up your bathtub for sanitation water, bucket flush the toilet. Your water heater, if you have one, is a 40 gallon storage tank; shut off the power to it and close the inlet valve to protect it from contamination. Cigarettes are currency.
 
2012-12-03 01:18:45 PM  
My advise to you is you drink heavily.
 
2012-12-03 01:19:21 PM  

ChipNASA: Where are you?
Lived in Okinawa for quite a few years.
/no biggie....the Okinawans walked around with Umbrellas while we were all "EVACUATE!!!"


Where at in Oki? I was on Futenma and Kinser for a couple of years.
 
2012-12-03 01:21:07 PM  
Well, if you're in San Francisco, then, goodbye.
 
2012-12-03 01:24:03 PM  
a.k.a. Pablo?

img835.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-03 01:26:58 PM  
Drunk people tend to bounce off things without injury a lot better than sober people.

"Nuff said
 
2012-12-03 01:27:26 PM  
Throw all you poolside furniture into the pool.
 
2012-12-03 01:29:35 PM  

dprathbun: Throw all you poolside furniture into the pool.


Then throw yourself into the pool.
 
2012-12-03 01:31:48 PM  

Deep Contact: dprathbun: Throw all you poolside furniture into the pool.

Then throw yourself into the pool.


Touche.
 
2012-12-03 01:37:59 PM  
Drink lots of fluids and eat your green veggies.

Ask your doctor about getting a prescription to an antibiotic, such as Ciprofloxacin (or a Ceftriaxone injection if you are pregnant).
 
2012-12-03 01:40:00 PM  
Don't get so very scared.
 
2012-12-03 01:41:40 PM  
This is a Cat 5 storm. Find a VERY heavily reinforced concrete building.
 
2012-12-03 01:44:17 PM  
1 oz vodka
1/4 oz grenadine syrup
1 oz gin
1 oz light rum
1/2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
1 oz amaretto almond liqueur
1 oz triple sec
grapefruit juice
pineapple juice

Pour all but the juices, in order listed, into a hurricane glass three-quarters filled with ice. Fill with equal parts of grapefruit and pineapple juice, and serve.

Because it is a CAT 5 and you will not make it if you don't evacuate.
 
2012-12-03 01:44:39 PM  
Lives on Guam for a bit and iD10ts has the best advice. I would also stock up on food, liqueur Candles and have a couple friends over. Play games... Seriously it can be a good time. For the water get a new Rubbermaid garbage can.. Like yard sized and fill with water for your supply when the aquafina runs out
 
2012-12-03 01:45:27 PM  
It's not that the wind is a bloin...it's WHAT the wind is a bloin
 
2012-12-03 01:45:33 PM  
DON'T!


you'll thank me later.
 
2012-12-03 01:45:46 PM  
Yup

i.qkme.me
 
2012-12-03 01:46:03 PM  
And remember, "It's not THAT the wind is blowing. It's WHAT the wind is blowing."

Don't go out in the wind.
 
2012-12-03 01:46:49 PM  

catdaddywest: Cash. Lots of ice and lots and lots of beer.


I see the important parts are covered. Add to that list: fill propane tank and buy food.
 
2012-12-03 01:47:17 PM  

Ben Enya: It's not that the wind is a bloin...it's WHAT the wind is a bloin


DAMN!

Knew I shouldn't have taken the time to read the thread.
 
2012-12-03 01:49:31 PM  

cduke23: ChipNASA: Where are you?
Lived in Okinawa for quite a few years.
/no biggie....the Okinawans walked around with Umbrellas while we were all "EVACUATE!!!"

Where at in Oki? I was on Futenma and Kinser for a couple of years.


Kadena, 1984 1986...
 
2012-12-03 01:50:30 PM  
Floridian here.
1) LED flashlights, fresh batteries. Weather radio or regular radio.
2) Spare power source for cellphone.
3) Do all laundry, and wash all dishes. Then shower right before the storm. Shut off gas or electric water heater and close inlet (some will allow drainage via spigot at bottom of unit. Get a bunch of drinking water in bottles and such. Keep bathtub water for flushing toilet and light bathing if needed.
4) Prepare a cooler with sandwiches, lots of ice, and stuff you would like to save from your fridge. I also kept a bunch of 2-liter bottles of ice in the freezer and that worked pretty well. Just don't fill them ALL the way up before freezing. Keep a small grill, charcoal, and fluid handy. Be responsible about grilling (don't be an r-tard). kool-aid mix goes a long way as well. hand cranked CAN OPENER!
5) Have grass, cash, and gas handy. Beer can be used with - or substituted for - grass. Cash is handy, gas goes in the car.
6) Disposable camera, and maybe a digital camera so that you can document the events. Makes for fun.
7) Board games or playing cards. CoD won't work when there is no electric.
8) A boat. You might need one.
9) If you have the luxury then have a gun, small generator (around 3500w max will do quite well), window fan or small window A/C, and small TV. I did this during Francis and Jean and it worked out great. Only used about 4 gallons of gas/day total. Being efficient keeps you from having to sit in long lines waiting for gas.

/hope this helps
 
2012-12-03 01:50:38 PM  
I guess I'll throw this out here. I've been through the eye of 1 hurricane and within 50 miles of the eye of 3 others. Plus more times than I can remember for outer rain bands and effects of other hurricanes/ tropical storms.

1. At the start of hurricane season - I check my generator (bought a used one for $60 off season that can run my fridge and a fan / window AC - and it has for 5 days before) and grab some 5 gallon bottles of water. You want to go off the plan of 1 gallon per person per day. Plan for a week. You probably won't need that much, but it's better to have too much than not enough. I check my flashlight batteries and candle supply. I get some extras of both and stash them as I'm sure my kid will find some of the flashlights and kill the batteries during the season. I also check out my first aid kit and have a police scanner.

Also, check the trees around your house. If any look like they're dead or rotting, or if you have some limbs going over your house then trim them. Do it before the storm is coming.

if you're in a new or unfamiliar area, ask the people who've been there for a while about flooding. You're just trying to figure out places that have creeks/rivers that can flood or areas where ponding is already a problem. Avoid those areas during a hurricane.

I also check my ammo. During the last couple of hurricanes the police scanner was full of some pretty nasty stuff going down. Plus I know people who've had to draw (but never fired) to protect themselves from looters (a generator in a world without power is a noisy beacon). If you do have to draw, even if nothing happens you have to call the police immediately Don't try to be Rambo or John Wayne. But it is something that's better to have and not need than to need and not have. It's not going to be a full on state of anarchy and you'll find most people banding together to help each other, but there are also opportunists who will try to take advantage of the situation. And remember, if you have to pull it out in defense, you're also pulling out your check book for a lawyer.

2. if a storm is within 5 days of possible landfall at my location I start filling my wife's car and my truck up at 3/4 of a tank instead of letting it get down to the usual nothing. I also go grocery shopping and plan on a week of can stores following the storm. I only get stuff I don't mind eating if the storm doesn't come this way. I also filly my 5 gallon gas cans up. I check my flashlights and candle supply.

3. If a storm is within 3 days of landing then I start paying attention to storm surge and wind information. If the winds are under 100 mph and / or you're over 30 - 40 miles inland you should be pretty much OK in newer structures. if they're over 100 mph you might want to look into a shelter or a newer structure to stay in. Hopefully the area you're in has building standards that require the use of hurricane straps during construction.

If you don't know, put you're head in the attic and see if you see any of these:

shop1.mailordercentral.com

if you don't, then you're house can have the roof blow off in high winds. I wouldn't stay in a place like that with any hurricane force winds. It may be safe, but if you can be cautious why not be.

4. At 48 hours it's time to decide to evacuate. Run from water, hide from wind. That means if you're in a flood prone area, you should look at evacuating. Also pay attention as the media will be going crazy about it. If you start seeing out of area news crews you may want to leave. Pay attention to authorities as well. If they're begging you to leave or asking you to put a toe tag on say they can identify the body, you may want to leave.

If you're not leaving and you're going to hide from the wind, then it's time to board up. Get some 3/4" plywood and screw them to the window frame. However, doing this is up to you. I don't board my house up as it's new enough and I'm far enough inland that it shouldn't be a problem.

This is also when you double check everything that's before this. You'll also want to get at least a few hundred dollars in cash.

5. At 24 hours it's time to take it easy. You don't go to work. You don't do much. I usually do some online gaming as it may be a while before I get to do that again. Make sure all of your cell phones are charged up. I usually plugged in until the power goes out. We only eat things that are in the fridge.

6. During the storm just stay in and relax. The power will probably go out. You will probably hear some transformers exploding and power lines arcing. The wind gets really loud and it rains a lot. Keep an eye out at least every 30 - 60 minutes to check to make sure you're not getting flooded. Don't try to drive around. Depending on the size and speed of the storm it may be over in anywhere from 8 to 24 hours.

If you start to see it flooding you can either try to ride out the flooding if you don't think it'll be that bad or call the authorities for a rescue. But the odds of a rescue during a storm are pretty low. That's why the decision to evacuate early on is so important.

7. After the storm for me it's just been a matter of hanging out for a while. Read a book. Play board / card games with your neighbors. Conserve gas as it may be a while before you can get more.

After Ike I wouldn't go back to work until they got a fuel truck there and had gas to give back to me for driving up there. Don't go driving around gawking at the damage.

The longest I've gone without power was 8 days Rita. But I knew someone that had power so I stayed with them. But during Ike it was only 2 days. During that time I just hung out and cleaned. You'll figure out stuff to do to keep busy.

if your house was damaged then FEMA sets up these locations that you can go to that also have appraisers on hand from the major insurance carriers for the area. During Ike they had them at the Lowes and Home Depots parking lots. It's a nice 1 stop streamlined process to get the ball rolling on repairs. If your house in uninhabitable FEMA was also picking up the tab on hotels. Believe it or not, during a major event like this FEMA is somewhat useful. I've hear horror stories from people who were in NO after Katrina, but they've definitely gotten their shiat together since then.

After that life slowly returns to normal. About 2 weeks after fuel supplies are coming in to the point that most gas stations are open and the power's generally back on. if your house has damage the insurance appraiser has been by and an initial work crew has come to make it habitable until you can get it repaired. You may have to fight with the insurance company on the amounts for months afterward, but you're not homeless. After a month to 6 weeks it's pretty much business as usual.

I hope this helps someone a little bit. I know it's rambling and a lot of stuff, but it's what I've learned. Take what you want from it, but I'm just throwing it out as some help from someone who's been there.
 
2012-12-03 01:52:14 PM  
OH, Cat-5 storm. GTFO. That is all. Just go.
 
2012-12-03 01:53:06 PM  

rooftop235: Floridian here.
1) LED flashlights, fresh batteries. Weather radio or regular radio.
2) Spare power source for cellphone.
3) Do all laundry, and wash all dishes. Then shower right before the storm. Shut off gas or electric water heater and close inlet (some will allow drainage via spigot at bottom of unit. Get a bunch of drinking water in bottles and such. Keep bathtub water for flushing toilet and light bathing if needed.
4) Prepare a cooler with sandwiches, lots of ice, and stuff you would like to save from your fridge. I also kept a bunch of 2-liter bottles of ice in the freezer and that worked pretty well. Just don't fill them ALL the way up before freezing. Keep a small grill, charcoal, and fluid handy. Be responsible about grilling (don't be an r-tard). kool-aid mix goes a long way as well. hand cranked CAN OPENER!
5) Have grass, cash, and gas handy. Beer can be used with - or substituted for - grass. Cash is handy, gas goes in the car.
6) Disposable camera, and maybe a digital camera so that you can document the events. Makes for fun.
7) Board games or playing cards. CoD won't work when there is no electric.
8) A boat. You might need one.
9) If you have the luxury then have a gun, small generator (around 3500w max will do quite well), window fan or small window A/C, and small TV. I did this during Francis and Jean and it worked out great. Only used about 4 gallons of gas/day total. Being efficient keeps you from having to sit in long lines waiting for gas.

/hope this helps


OR you could book a room in Atlanta.
 
2012-12-03 01:54:23 PM  
Call your weed guy BEFORE you run out!
 
2012-12-03 01:57:08 PM  

chuckufarlie: rooftop235: Floridian here.
1) LED flashlights, fresh batteries. Weather radio or regular radio.
2) Spare power source for cellphone.
3) Do all laundry, and wash all dishes. Then shower right before the storm. Shut off gas or electric water heater and close inlet (some will allow drainage via spigot at bottom of unit. Get a bunch of drinking water in bottles and such. Keep bathtub water for flushing toilet and light bathing if needed.
4) Prepare a cooler with sandwiches, lots of ice, and stuff you would like to save from your fridge. I also kept a bunch of 2-liter bottles of ice in the freezer and that worked pretty well. Just don't fill them ALL the way up before freezing. Keep a small grill, charcoal, and fluid handy. Be responsible about grilling (don't be an r-tard). kool-aid mix goes a long way as well. hand cranked CAN OPENER!
5) Have grass, cash, and gas handy. Beer can be used with - or substituted for - grass. Cash is handy, gas goes in the car.
6) Disposable camera, and maybe a digital camera so that you can document the events. Makes for fun.
7) Board games or playing cards. CoD won't work when there is no electric.
8) A boat. You might need one.
9) If you have the luxury then have a gun, small generator (around 3500w max will do quite well), window fan or small window A/C, and small TV. I did this during Francis and Jean and it worked out great. Only used about 4 gallons of gas/day total. Being efficient keeps you from having to sit in long lines waiting for gas.

/hope this helps

OR you could book a room in Atlanta.


In which case you will definitely need the gun.
 
2012-12-03 01:57:31 PM  
I used to live in southern Louisiana. The day before a hurricane hit, we'd go to Grand Island and play in the really fun waves. Then we'd drive home and ride out eh storm. The day after the storm, we'd go inland a bit and go tubing down the raging torrents of the local smaller rivers. Yes, some moron would actually rent us tubes! Good times. Good times.

My advice to you? Surfboard.
 
2012-12-03 01:59:47 PM  
Duck and cover.

/works against nuclear bombs too
 
2012-12-03 02:00:03 PM  
1. Keep your pants on while sitting in slatted chairs.

2. Make sure you have a large plastic tub handy for gathering beers after the storm passes.

3. Stay away from patio furniture. It has a tendency to tip over during sever storm events.
 
2012-12-03 02:00:25 PM  
Set up a webcam for us to watch until the internet or power goes out.
 
2012-12-03 02:01:24 PM  

rooftop235: chuckufarlie: rooftop235: Floridian here.
1) LED flashlights, fresh batteries. Weather radio or regular radio.
2) Spare power source for cellphone.
3) Do all laundry, and wash all dishes. Then shower right before the storm. Shut off gas or electric water heater and close inlet (some will allow drainage via spigot at bottom of unit. Get a bunch of drinking water in bottles and such. Keep bathtub water for flushing toilet and light bathing if needed.
4) Prepare a cooler with sandwiches, lots of ice, and stuff you would like to save from your fridge. I also kept a bunch of 2-liter bottles of ice in the freezer and that worked pretty well. Just don't fill them ALL the way up before freezing. Keep a small grill, charcoal, and fluid handy. Be responsible about grilling (don't be an r-tard). kool-aid mix goes a long way as well. hand cranked CAN OPENER!
5) Have grass, cash, and gas handy. Beer can be used with - or substituted for - grass. Cash is handy, gas goes in the car.
6) Disposable camera, and maybe a digital camera so that you can document the events. Makes for fun.
7) Board games or playing cards. CoD won't work when there is no electric.
8) A boat. You might need one.
9) If you have the luxury then have a gun, small generator (around 3500w max will do quite well), window fan or small window A/C, and small TV. I did this during Francis and Jean and it worked out great. Only used about 4 gallons of gas/day total. Being efficient keeps you from having to sit in long lines waiting for gas.

/hope this helps

OR you could book a room in Atlanta.

In which case you will definitely need the gun.


you are going to the wrong part of Atlanta. But then again, you hang around the house waiting for hurricanes to come by.
 
2012-12-03 02:02:15 PM  
Our routine is to clean the carburetor on the generator, get an extra tank of propane for the grill, tie the boat to a light pole using a very long lead and a slip hitch, take the strap off the boat trailer so the boat can elevate if necessary, and then start planning the party. But we live in south Louisiana. We are professionals.
 
2012-12-03 02:04:10 PM  
I've seen about 40 of these bad boys come through Kodiak. Best advice is don't walk the dog in the middle of it. Winter typhoons are frigging cold
 
2012-12-03 02:04:33 PM  
Be as mysterious as the dark side of the moon.
 
2012-12-03 02:05:46 PM  
Is this "5" similar (or the same) as a cat 5 hurricane?  If so, you need to evacuate.  That is all.
 
I understand that may be difficult this far out, as you're on an island.
 
If you must stay, the obvious stuff has been covered.  But:
 
Make sure you have as much medication (if you're perscribed anything) as legally possible.  (Like, if you're on Xanax here in the States, you can only have one month's supply.)
 
Not the most critical thing, but a battery operated fan or two.
 
2012-12-03 02:06:19 PM  
(1) invent time machine. (2) set machine to 1 week ago. (3) get in, get out when done. (3) get your heinie to the airport and go to Sydney.
 
2012-12-03 02:06:24 PM  
1. Emergency supplies etc...
2. Board games / candles / wine / friends
3. Fill up all your vehicles (so you can use them to charge your electronics if need

** I grew up in hurricane area and depending on the severity of destruction and limited goods available cigarettes and steaks are the best bartering tokens. Also, minimize opening your refrigerator if the electricity goes out.
 
2012-12-03 02:08:05 PM  

Agent Smiths Laugh: Duck and cover.

/works against nuclear bombs too


this.

If there is an elementary school nearby, go there and hide under one of the desks. I am sure you will be fine. I saw something about it in a movie once when I was a kid. Seemed legit.
 
2012-12-03 02:08:11 PM  
No time machine? Sorry, I got nothing.
 
2012-12-03 02:08:26 PM  
Be happy that you'll be able to scoff at all the weenies
that freak-out over hurricanes.
Been thru several 175mph typhoons in Okinawa.

Tips:
Don't waste your time with taping the windows.
Fill the bathtub (flushing water).
Stock up on Beenie Weenies (edible cold).
Fresh batteries for the radio.
Booze (so you can sleep thru most of it).
 
2012-12-03 02:08:32 PM  
By all means, spend time posting a thread and reading the replies on Fark instead of, you know, evacuating or filling sandbags or otherwise preparing yourself
 
2012-12-03 02:09:35 PM  
Lived through a ton of typhoons growing up. Preparation specifics are all dependent on where you live and what the infrastructure is like. But in general:

1) Stock up on food and water. Don't forget a can opener.
2) Board the windows. I don't care if you have the typhoon proof/bullet proof windows. I've seen them break, I've seen whole window fixtures blow in.
3) stock up on batteries to power any radios, flashlights, lamps, etc.
4) have something to do if you suspect power will be out for awhile. books, crosswords, hand held game devices etc. It can get really boring on the second day of a typhoon if you cant leave the house and are just sitting around in the dark.
5) Secure anything around your home that might shift in high winds, including boats, motorcycles, outdoor furniture etc.
6) Bring the pets in if you have any.
7) Fill the bathtubs and use that water to flush toilets.
8) Stay calm and be safe.
 
2012-12-03 02:09:39 PM  
Make sure your swimming suit doesn't have any metal or they won't let you go down summit plummit.
 
2012-12-03 02:09:51 PM  
Well if you're in the Philippines (which i guess you are), go to the market get some fresh veggies, go to the store, get canned foods (you won't have electricity, it'll go out) an hit up the sari-sari stores for beer, water or whatever else. Stay away from the roads, they flood. Pay attention to any flood evacuation notices and do what they suggest. Be prepared for any roads to be flooded for a least 2 days. Cheers.
 
2012-12-03 02:14:27 PM  
You guys DO realize this is in the Philippines, not the US or any of its territories, right?
Subby:
Find some locals there that are non-religious, level-headed, and cautious what the best course of action is. They will better be able to explain areas that are prone to flooding, wind damage, etc.
This is a serious storm and should not be taken lightly. If your area goes under evacuation warning, I would high tail it out of there. I don't know what sort of structure you are living in, but as another farker recommended, if it is not extremely well built: leave. It is not worth risking your life.
Stock up on gasoline, non-perishable food (MREs keep really well, even if the area becomes flooded they are still able to be eaten), propane or any gas used for grilling/cooking out doors, generator (if possible), handheld radio preferably the kind that use a crank to generate power, and bottle/jugs of water are crucial. Remember, the human body cannot live for very long without fresh water. If things are getting really bad, fill up ALL tubs and sinks in the house with fresh water. That way, should you run out of water for an extended period of time, you have a source to drink from. You can also drink from the TANK on the toilet as that is freshwater (NOT THE BOWL OR YOU MAY GET VERY SICK). If your house/structure floods, DO NOT DRINK ANY WATER THAT IS UNSEALED. Avoid ALL floodwater and seek high ground as the floodwater carries loads of bacteria and can make you very, very sick. Stay tuned into local broadcasts for possible evacuation orders.
 
2012-12-03 02:16:25 PM  
everyone is mentioning charge your batteries and have gas to charge your devices. but, don't expect your cell phone or other devices to work. it doesn't take a massive storm to knock out a cell tower, in which case, you're fully charged phone will be useless.

/ just make a plan that expects everything possible to fail, not only in your home but in your society/infrastructure. rarely will everything fail, but you never know precisely which things will fail. at this point you want to rely on nothing save your non-perishable food goods, your many gallons of water, the bath tub full of water so you can flush the toilet... oh yeah, and a lot of people forget to get enough toilet paper.
// and don't ever approach downed power lines. don't drive in moving water... a very low level of water is enough to wash a car away (it's also very difficult to gauge the depth of the water)
 
2012-12-03 02:17:45 PM  
Water
Cash
Can food
Propane
Gasoline
radio
flash light
Lots of batteries
Move out of low laying areas and areas prone to landslides
Move outdoor items inside
Board up windows or at least duct tape them in a X on the inside.
Get some books to read and board games to play if you are not alone.
expect a full day of stormy weather
Do not go outside for any reason until it has passed
 
2012-12-03 02:17:47 PM  
I was just reading about this typhoon.

162mph winds? Hope you live underground.
 
2012-12-03 02:18:05 PM  
Many Bophans died to bring us this information.
 
2012-12-03 02:25:13 PM  
Assuming it's like a hurricane:

It's going to rain for three days or so. Have some books and candles just in case. Basketball is more fun when you have to judge for the wind, but it might be a bit cold for that. Hard alcohol is better than beer, in case the power goes out.
 
2012-12-03 02:28:36 PM  
The producers for preparing for a typhoon are exactly the same as preparing for a hurricane. There's a lot of things to get done including preparing your house (boarding windows and doors), stocking up on non-perishable food, flashlights and batteries, candles/lanterns, getting tarps (and even tents), BBQ grill, camp stove, a battery powered radio, filling the bathtub with water (for drinking), gassing up the car and putting it in a shelter on high ground, etc., etc., etc. There are a lot of good guides on the net. But if this storm is going to hit tomorrow and you haven't started these preparations, you probably do not have time.
 
GBB
2012-12-03 02:28:46 PM  
Secure your lawn furniture. Or else: 

brandimpact.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-03 02:32:59 PM  

JackieRabbit


The producers for preparing for a typhoon are exactly the same as preparing for a hurricane.


Wow, really? It's almost as if typhoons and hurricanes are the same thing.

:-|
 
2012-12-03 02:34:19 PM  

JackieRabbit: filling the bathtub with water (for drinking),


although you definitely 'can' drink the water in your tub, this should only be a last resort. get bottled water. drink bottled water. the water in the tub is to fill up the reservoir in your toilet so that it can flush even if you've lost water. you will have to go to the bathroom, and your toilet will not flush without water.
 
2012-12-03 02:34:26 PM  
Stay away from the shore.

In many parts of Asia, this means moving several hundred miles in-land. You better put on your PF Flyers and start beating cheeks.
 
2012-12-03 02:34:35 PM  
Subby: Don't live in a shack, don't live right near sea the sea at sea level, stay away from the windows, don't go outside. That's about it. Been through many typhoons myself, the strongest of them being Hope (1979; 115 mph sustained, maximum gust 150 mph) and Ellen (1983; 104 mph sustained, maximum gust 148 mph). I was fine. You'll be fine.

I'd take a typhoon any day over a tornado. You get days of warning to prepare, which makes them far easier to deal with.
 
2012-12-03 02:40:50 PM  

Gilligann: I was just reading about this typhoon.

162mph winds? Hope you live underground.


as a wide man once said - it is not THAT the wind is blowing at 162MPH, it is WHAT it is blowing at 162MPH.
 
2012-12-03 02:42:24 PM  

gweilo8888: Subby: Don't live in a shack, don't live right near sea the sea at sea level, stay away from the windows, don't go outside. That's about it. Been through many typhoons myself, the strongest of them being Hope (1979; 115 mph sustained, maximum gust 150 mph) and Ellen (1983; 104 mph sustained, maximum gust 148 mph). I was fine. You'll be fine.

I'd take a typhoon any day over a tornado. You get days of warning to prepare, which makes them far easier to deal with.


I agree. It has been my experience that we are told about a tornado in the neighborhood the day after it hits.
 
2012-12-03 02:44:24 PM  
GO FINA AN EMPTY CAVE ON THE HIGH GROUND.
/it's your only chance.
 
2012-12-03 02:46:44 PM  

ChipNASA: Gleeman: ChipNASA: Where are you?
Lived in Okinawa for quite a few years.
/no biggie....the Okinawans walked around with Umbrellas while we were all "EVACUATE!!!"

Pulled into Guam just after a super typhoon hit, saw a tugboat from the harbor sitting in the middle of a road. A friend of mine was there on a ship that couldn't get underway to avoid the storm, so they moored to the pier with double steel wire moorings. When the storm cleared they were aground on the far side of the harbor. Also found out why the base housing was built with re-bar reinforced poured concrete walls.

/beautiful place
//wouldn't want to be there for a typhoon

We had the same typhoon hit us twicein 96 hours.....
Sandbags.....
MRE
LOTS and LOTS of BOOZE!!!


Okinawa builds shait right. I don't even remember losing power or internet on Camp Hansen during Super Typhoon Bart. The Air Force got hammered, and there was some damage, but it really wasn't that bad. And the Okinawians just sort of shrugged and went about their business. 160 MPH winds, and it didn't seem like damage was much worse than a bad thunderstorm in the States.
 
2012-12-03 02:58:58 PM  

pute kisses like a man: JackieRabbit: filling the bathtub with water (for drinking),

although you definitely 'can' drink the water in your tub, this should only be a last resort. get bottled water. drink bottled water. the water in the tub is to fill up the reservoir in your toilet so that it can flush even if you've lost water. you will have to go to the bathroom, and your toilet will not flush without water.


Bottled water is one of the first commodities to run out at the stores. When I lived in a storm-proned area, when a storm was still several days away, the bottled water was gone. One can stock up on it in advance, of course. Weather or not you drink the water out of the tub, using it to flush the toilet is certainly an option, but you have to ration it for this purpose or you'll run out fast. It can also be used for cooking. Bottled water is not the best option for cooking, since it is relatively expensive and you can exhaust your supply fast. We always scrubbed and sanitized the tub, tilled it with water and covered it. We also had a hurricane kit, which, if he had to evacuate, we took with us. We'd bring more food and supplies back with us.
 
2012-12-03 03:08:12 PM  
Twombly: You're not gonna need that, either. Might as well take dope and beer instead.
Grimes: What?
Twombly: Ammo, dude. Take ammo.
 
2012-12-03 03:10:44 PM  
How about don't be an annoying asshole hipster who feels he needs to move to another country to prove something to himself. Stay in America where we don't get typhoons, idiot.
 
2012-12-03 03:24:56 PM  
Run or you will be doomed.
imageshack.us
 
2012-12-03 03:34:54 PM  
CSB:
 
During Hurrican Issac this year, our electricity went out.  We had this old wind-up/battery operated weather radio we were trying to get updates on.  It sucked, never quite got any channels.
 
After 1 day with no contact with news of any sort... I turned to my wife and said:  "Ummm, isn't the clock radio we're staring at right now operated with batteries??"
 
/Facepalm
 
Get a battery-operated radio for news alerts.  And don't forget you have a battery-operated radio for news alerts.  
 
2012-12-03 03:38:10 PM  
Packing winds to 160 mph, equivalent to category 5 hurricane, super typhoon Bopha is hours away from landfall in the southern Philippines.

CAT 5, GTFO. Do not try to "ride it out", you will regret it if you do.
 
2012-12-03 03:40:58 PM  
Leave a spectacular corpse.
 
2012-12-03 03:43:47 PM  
Hold on to your coconuts, this isn't going to be your average blowjob.
 
2012-12-03 03:49:45 PM  
Uhm, GTFO. Best advice ever when mother nature decides to be pissy.
 
2012-12-03 03:53:34 PM  
Call these guys; I've heard they're pretty effective in typhoons.
www.flix66.com
 
2012-12-03 04:37:01 PM  
Stay away from trailer parks....

Oh wait, that's tornadoes...
 
2012-12-03 04:40:18 PM  
I went through a Cat 2 in a ferroconcrete apartment building in Osaka and there is nothing like watching those ferroconcrete utility poles whipping around like fishing rods to put the fear of Buddha in you.
 
2012-12-03 05:15:56 PM  
If, per chance, the eye of the typhoon goes over you, go outside. It's an incredible view looking straight up to the blue sky, while the clouds are all around you. That happened in Okinawa while I was there. It was really cool. Good memory.
 
2012-12-03 05:26:51 PM  

CrscntBufS: If, per chance, the eye of the typhoon goes over you, go outside. It's an incredible view looking straight up to the blue sky, while the clouds are all around you. That happened in Okinawa while I was there. It was really cool. Good memory.


It's also a really cool way to get yourself killed. People come out to see the eye, don't get back to shelter in time, and potentially find that areas which were safe previously are now the most exposed of all because the wind direction has just radically changed.

If you come more than about two feet outside your door during the eye, you're an idiot.
 
2012-12-03 05:36:43 PM  
Be sure you have a good modern cellphone charged and at the ready. People will be so jealous when you are able to post the best typhoon video ever on Youtube.
 
2012-12-03 05:54:39 PM  

JackieRabbit: pute kisses like a man: JackieRabbit: filling the bathtub with water (for drinking),

although you definitely 'can' drink the water in your tub, this should only be a last resort. get bottled water. drink bottled water. the water in the tub is to fill up the reservoir in your toilet so that it can flush even if you've lost water. you will have to go to the bathroom, and your toilet will not flush without water.

Bottled water is one of the first commodities to run out at the stores. When I lived in a storm-proned area, when a storm was still several days away, the bottled water was gone. One can stock up on it in advance, of course. Weather or not you drink the water out of the tub, using it to flush the toilet is certainly an option, but you have to ration it for this purpose or you'll run out fast. It can also be used for cooking. Bottled water is not the best option for cooking, since it is relatively expensive and you can exhaust your supply fast. We always scrubbed and sanitized the tub, tilled it with water and covered it. We also had a hurricane kit, which, if he had to evacuate, we took with us. We'd bring more food and supplies back with us.


well, obviously every location is different. if you can't buy water, then fill every possible receptacle that you can find with water. bathtubs, sinks, large vessels. everything. but, I've never had a problem buying water for a couple weeks for a couple people. you usually have a pretty good notice that a storm is coming. and by bottled water, i don't mean evian, i mean the crap that comes in gallon sizes or larged (but do not get distilled water! it's no good! or at least, someone told me so)

/ own a french press, some way to heat food, and pre-grind your coffee. it's really depressing to not be able to make coffee.  once i ground coffee beans in a mortar and pestle... it didn't work that great in the french press. unless you like mud coffee.
 
2012-12-03 05:55:25 PM  

rooftop235: chuckufarlie: rooftop235: Floridian here.
1) LED flashlights, fresh batteries. Weather radio or regular radio.
2) Spare power source for cellphone.
3) Do all laundry, and wash all dishes. Then shower right before the storm. Shut off gas or electric water heater and close inlet (some will allow drainage via spigot at bottom of unit. Get a bunch of drinking water in bottles and such. Keep bathtub water for flushing toilet and light bathing if needed.
4) Prepare a cooler with sandwiches, lots of ice, and stuff you would like to save from your fridge. I also kept a bunch of 2-liter bottles of ice in the freezer and that worked pretty well. Just don't fill them ALL the way up before freezing. Keep a small grill, charcoal, and fluid handy. Be responsible about grilling (don't be an r-tard). kool-aid mix goes a long way as well. hand cranked CAN OPENER!
5) Have grass, cash, and gas handy. Beer can be used with - or substituted for - grass. Cash is handy, gas goes in the car.
6) Disposable camera, and maybe a digital camera so that you can document the events. Makes for fun.
7) Board games or playing cards. CoD won't work when there is no electric.
8) A boat. You might need one.
9) If you have the luxury then have a gun, small generator (around 3500w max will do quite well), window fan or small window A/C, and small TV. I did this during Francis and Jean and it worked out great. Only used about 4 gallons of gas/day total. Being efficient keeps you from having to sit in long lines waiting for gas.

/hope this helps

OR you could book a room in Atlanta.

In which case you will definitely need the gun.


I live in a downtown high-rise on Peachtree Street. I promise you, I can walk home from the Hyatt bar drunk as a bicycle at 2:30am with a $100 bill stapled to my sleeve and not a soul would approach me. It is that safe. Other parts of the city might be a combat zone, but downtown where the hotels are is well protected.
 
2012-12-03 06:03:06 PM  

Wrath of Heaven: If he's just going through the engine, I'd recommend he take of his clothes, hardhats, etc, in order to limit damage to the turbines.

Pink slime


Pink mist, not slime.
 
2012-12-03 06:25:36 PM  
Find a cement apartment building and hang out in the stair well above the fifth floor. Watch the show for as long as it's safe though, the higher off the ground the better, because you'll have some great stories to tell.

Survived Iniki, my second of three hurricanes and that was only a cat 4. Watching a washing machine (I think) fly by the window, 7th floor, isn't something I saw every day. Watching a car float into the side of an apartment building is surreal. Watching trees become projectiles got me into the stair well.

Stockpile essentials. Don't expect power for a while...or police.
 
2012-12-03 06:25:40 PM  
Just act like its a hurricane
 
2012-12-03 06:32:12 PM  
i.imgur.com

Watch out for Crazy Ivans.
 
2012-12-03 07:21:01 PM  
Typhoons are easy. Preparation is the key.

1. Live in a concrete house. Don't live in a wooden house. If you're not in a concrete house, you're farked. Go to a shelter and disregard the rest of this post if you're too dumb to live in a concrete house.
2. Your power should be provided via underground lines. Power lines are bound to fail, either because they snapped or the poles fell and the wires snapped.
3. Fill up your tub with water. This is how you will bathe and and flush your toilet if you couldn't get a place to live that had proper underground power lines. Power runs the water pumps, so if the power to the substation goes, you're out of water too.
4. Buy several 5 gallon bottles of water and a hand pump.
5. Buy batteries for your flashlight. Buy a goddamned flashlight if you don't have one.
6. Put boards on the outside of your windows. You have hooks above and below the window to attach boards, right? You're not going to get nails to hold boards in concrete very long.
7. Get snacks. Lots of snacks.
8. Don't run your generator unless the power goes out, and only run it outside. People die because they run their generator indoors. Probably for the best, genetically-speaking.
9. Charge your iPhone
10. Gas your car
11. Get some buckets to catch any leaky spots in the ceiling
12. Get some rags ready to soak up water seeping in under doors. Don't worry about replacing them throughout the storm, once they are saturated, they'll become nice little dams.

Pretty simple.
 
2012-12-03 07:24:45 PM  
Oh, FEMA doesn't operate in the Philippines. They do, however, have plenty of cheap booze and even cheaper hookers.
 
2012-12-03 07:45:23 PM  

ChipNASA: Where are you?
Lived in Okinawa for quite a few years.
/no biggie....the Okinawans walked around with Umbrellas while we were all "EVACUATE!!!"


Vodka, lots and lots of vodka. Drink until you can't remember, then drink some more.

Stay away from windows, cars, trees, and coke cans. Got hit with a can of coke, while on storm watch, and it drove the edges of a flak jacket plate into my ribs. Glad we had the old jackets for that, a fiber one would have broken ribs.
 
2012-12-03 08:00:20 PM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy: Wrath of Heaven: If he's just going through the engine, I'd recommend he take of his clothes, hardhats, etc, in order to limit damage to the turbines.

Pink slime

Pink mist, not slime.


Maybe it's the helmet that saved him, but this guy didn't get hurt too bad, despite being sucked through an A-6's engine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_gpPbpONK4
 
2012-12-03 08:26:40 PM  

MadMattressMack: I hope this helps someone a little bit. I know it's rambling and a lot of stuff, but it's what I've learned. Take what you want from it, but I'm just throwing it out as some help from someone who's been there


That was actually very well written. Nice jorb
 
2012-12-03 08:55:44 PM  
Be rich, live in a mansion, flood won't get you.
 
2012-12-03 09:28:32 PM  
Go outside and scream at the rain at the top of your lungs. No one will hear you!

Get in a car and listen to the big fat juicy drops splat onto the windshield. Turn the wipers on high and remark on how they do nothing. Feel forever superior to anyone else who ever complains about that drizzle they call rain.

Get a bicycle and go cruising through the flooded streets. It's almost as awesome as jetskiing.

You'll absorb some nematodes through your bare feet, which will migrate through your bloodstream and take residence in your gut. Since they're higher on the food chain than fungus, you'll never have to worry about infections or allergies ever again, they'll take care of you and let you eat whatever you want without gaining weight.

Ah, the good times of monsoon season...
 
2012-12-03 10:12:51 PM  
Chin up... You'll get through it okay with PEOPLE POWER!!! (Be sure to wear yellow)
 
2012-12-03 10:58:44 PM  
Subby here. I'm in Cebu, Philippines. Luckily the storm's center is passing by well to the south of us. But it's rated a "super typhoon", cat 4 when it made landfall this morning, so it's a BIG system. We're just starting to get the rain from it now (though it's been showery/sprinkling all morning.)

We have a week's supply of food including canned goods and instant noodles- just happened to do the week's grocery shopping yesterday, before we even knew the typhoon was coming. We just got four -gallon bottles of drinking water, and I filled three buckets with tapwater for washing/flushing in case we lose water. I got new flashlight batteries for my mini-maglite, and we have three cell phones with flashlights, all charged.

I'm prepared to evacuate our seven (!) dogs and a few perishable supplies (like the dry dog & cat food) upstairs if need be, just in case our yard floods so much it starts coming into the house. Our house is reinforced concrete pillars with hollow-block walls, so we should be OK regarding any structural damage, unless the jackfruit tree happens to fall on it which would suck.

I'll text my wife to hit up an ATM and withdraw some cash- thanks for the advice and all the laughs! I needed that. :)
 
2012-12-03 11:03:22 PM  

Stone Meadow: catdaddywest: Cash. Lots of ice and lots and lots of beer.

I see the important parts are covered. Add to that list: fill propane tank and buy food.


I just bought three grandes (liters) of San Mig, so I'm covered there. Also, we cook with LPG anyway and I just got a new tank a couple of weeks ago- a tank usually lasts 2 to 3 months. So we're good.
 
2012-12-03 11:04:17 PM  

vinniethepoo: I filled three buckets with tapwater for washing/flushing in case we lose water


This is not enough. Fill your bath tub.

You will be using those buckets to flush, so you'll be out of water after ~6 flushes. FILL YOUR BATHTUB.

We just got four -gallon bottles of drinking water

This is not enough. You will want 4 5-gallon bottles of water.

we have three cell phones with flashlights

Turn two of them off. Save the batteries.

I'm prepared to evacuate our seven (!) dogs

Dogs make good BBQ if worse comes to worst.

You haven't mentioned whether your storm shutters are up yet. If not, do it now. TAPE WILL NOT HELP YOUR WINDOWS.
 
2012-12-03 11:35:21 PM  
Subby, are you in Dumaguete by any chance? If so, send me an email.
 
2012-12-03 11:43:30 PM  

Z-clipped: Subby, are you in Dumaguete by any chance? If so, send me an email.


Nope. Near Cebu City. :)
 
2012-12-04 12:23:04 AM  
anansisweb.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-12-04 12:25:12 AM  
 
2012-12-04 01:08:28 AM  
Is it a Cat 5?

GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

Not joking.
 
2012-12-04 01:10:25 AM  
I have a good friend in Misamis Orientall who'll look after you, subby
 
2012-12-04 02:10:30 AM  
I can't believe the crappy advice being offered here. Cebu City is well out of the typhoon's path; the most that subby will see is some wind and rain. Nothing to panic about, not a crisis at all. All he needs to do to be prepared is make sure the loose stuff in the yard is gathered up - and to make sure the windows are closed.

The folks living on Mindano will have a tough time and I wish them well. But Cebu City, like Metro Manila where I live, are not going to be hit by this monster storm.

If it was coming your way, I'd strongly recommend taking a trike or taxi to the closest bus stop and getting well out of the area before the storm arrives. Category 5 typhoons are nothing to mess with; they tend to leave nothing more than bare earth where they pass. There's NOTHING you can do to defend yourself against one of these - other than to grab the fastest possible transportation out of the target area. Best advance preparation? A few thousand pesos in an emergency fund that you can use to get out of the storm's path and support yourself until life gets back to normal.
 
2012-12-04 05:18:13 AM  
Yeah, this turned out to be a non-event. I've seen thundershowers from the regular monsoons that were a lot worse.

Boring is good wrt unfamiliar weather in another part of the world. Much better than "interesting times", which was what I was half expecting.
 
2012-12-04 07:35:14 AM  

99.998er: rooftop235: chuckufarlie: rooftop235: Floridian here.
1) LED flashlights, fresh batteries. Weather radio or regular radio.
2) Spare power source for cellphone.
3) Do all laundry, and wash all dishes. Then shower right before the storm. Shut off gas or electric water heater and close inlet (some will allow drainage via spigot at bottom of unit. Get a bunch of drinking water in bottles and such. Keep bathtub water for flushing toilet and light bathing if needed.
4) Prepare a cooler with sandwiches, lots of ice, and stuff you would like to save from your fridge. I also kept a bunch of 2-liter bottles of ice in the freezer and that worked pretty well. Just don't fill them ALL the way up before freezing. Keep a small grill, charcoal, and fluid handy. Be responsible about grilling (don't be an r-tard). kool-aid mix goes a long way as well. hand cranked CAN OPENER!
5) Have grass, cash, and gas handy. Beer can be used with - or substituted for - grass. Cash is handy, gas goes in the car.
6) Disposable camera, and maybe a digital camera so that you can document the events. Makes for fun.
7) Board games or playing cards. CoD won't work when there is no electric.
8) A boat. You might need one.
9) If you have the luxury then have a gun, small generator (around 3500w max will do quite well), window fan or small window A/C, and small TV. I did this during Francis and Jean and it worked out great. Only used about 4 gallons of gas/day total. Being efficient keeps you from having to sit in long lines waiting for gas.

/hope this helps

OR you could book a room in Atlanta.

In which case you will definitely need the gun.

I live in a downtown high-rise on Peachtree Street. I promise you, I can walk home from the Hyatt bar drunk as a bicycle at 2:30am with a $100 bill stapled to my sleeve and not a soul would approach me. It is that safe. Other parts of the city might be a combat zone, but downtown where the hotels are is well protected.


HA. You talking about the bar at the top of the Hyatt? I love that place. Haven't been there in years. And while walking down the street in the evening I had a guy start following me around like a puppy. I gave him a couple dollars and the next friggin evening he was in the hotel at the pool table. Once he saw me he started telling everyone we were old friends and began drinking on my tab. lol. Good times.
I just went through ATL before turkey day. At night. At about 100MPH. Maybe...
 
2012-12-04 07:44:19 AM  

mr intrepid: (1) invent time machine. (2) set machine to 1 week ago. (3) get in, get out when done. (3) get your heinie to the airport and go to Sydney.


If you can't find Syndey, look for his brother Tyrone, he'll set you up.
 
2012-12-04 08:11:04 AM  

rooftop235: 99.998er: rooftop235: chuckufarlie: rooftop235: Floridian here.
1) LED flashlights, fresh batteries. Weather radio or regular radio.
2) Spare power source for cellphone.
3) Do all laundry, and wash all dishes. Then shower right before the storm. Shut off gas or electric water heater and close inlet (some will allow drainage via spigot at bottom of unit. Get a bunch of drinking water in bottles and such. Keep bathtub water for flushing toilet and light bathing if needed.
4) Prepare a cooler with sandwiches, lots of ice, and stuff you would like to save from your fridge. I also kept a bunch of 2-liter bottles of ice in the freezer and that worked pretty well. Just don't fill them ALL the way up before freezing. Keep a small grill, charcoal, and fluid handy. Be responsible about grilling (don't be an r-tard). kool-aid mix goes a long way as well. hand cranked CAN OPENER!
5) Have grass, cash, and gas handy. Beer can be used with - or substituted for - grass. Cash is handy, gas goes in the car.
6) Disposable camera, and maybe a digital camera so that you can document the events. Makes for fun.
7) Board games or playing cards. CoD won't work when there is no electric.
8) A boat. You might need one.
9) If you have the luxury then have a gun, small generator (around 3500w max will do quite well), window fan or small window A/C, and small TV. I did this during Francis and Jean and it worked out great. Only used about 4 gallons of gas/day total. Being efficient keeps you from having to sit in long lines waiting for gas.

/hope this helps

OR you could book a room in Atlanta.

In which case you will definitely need the gun.

I live in a downtown high-rise on Peachtree Street. I promise you, I can walk home from the Hyatt bar drunk as a bicycle at 2:30am with a $100 bill stapled to my sleeve and not a soul would approach me. It is that safe. Other parts of the city might be a combat zone, but downtown where the hotels are is well protected.

HA. You talking about the bar at the ...


The old bar at the top of Hyatt is long gone. Now they have 3 bars, two on the lobby level and one downstairs. Just so you know, the golden rule is to never give a dime to the beggars. If you do, well they will follow you around like a puppy. I had a beggar come sit next to me when I was at the bar in Hooter's up from the Hyatt. He asked for a few bucks to get a burger at McDonald's. I told him there was a mission about 8 blocks north on Peachtree. He said he had already been there and didn't like the food, it was too bland!
 
2012-12-04 09:50:07 AM  

alienated: MadMattressMack: I hope this helps someone a little bit. I know it's rambling and a lot of stuff, but it's what I've learned. Take what you want from it, but I'm just throwing it out as some help from someone who's been there

That was actually very well written. Nice jorb


if you don't have a generator for the fridge, I would add: get as much ice as you can store. after you lose power, put all your perishable foods on ice in coolers. it's no fun throwing away your nice groceries. this way, for the first couple days, you can eat like a normal human before entering survival mode.
 
2012-12-04 11:19:17 AM  
 
2012-12-04 05:04:03 PM  
The worst part is if the electricity is out for a long time. Take a shower while you can
 
2012-12-04 05:54:56 PM  
If you own your place and the water does get in and you have carpeting: Float your carpet out at your earliest convenience.
 
2012-12-05 01:04:11 PM  

Medic Zero: Maybe it's the helmet that saved him, but this guy didn't get hurt too bad, despite being sucked through an A-6's engine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_gpPbpONK4


He didn't go 'through'. Like a cork in a bottle, he got jammed in the intake.
 
2012-12-05 01:06:24 PM  

pute kisses like a man: if you don't have a generator for the fridge, I would add: get as much ice as you can store. after you lose power, put all your perishable foods on ice in coolers. it's no fun throwing away your nice groceries. this way, for the first couple days, you can eat like a normal human before entering survival mode.


What works better than ice is simply a bunch frozen bottles of water. Works the same (giant ice cubes), and you have drinking water as it thaws.
 
2012-12-05 02:24:31 PM  

YouPeopleAreCrazy: pute kisses like a man: if you don't have a generator for the fridge, I would add: get as much ice as you can store. after you lose power, put all your perishable foods on ice in coolers. it's no fun throwing away your nice groceries. this way, for the first couple days, you can eat like a normal human before entering survival mode.

What works better than ice is simply a bunch frozen bottles of water. Works the same (giant ice cubes), and you have drinking water as it thaws.


thanks for adding that. i was going to mention it, but then i deleted it for some reason. just make sure not to overfill the bottles/jugs as they may burst

/ i had a friend who filled up large plastic bags of water, shaped them how he wanted, and let them freeze. takes some planning, but really worked out well
 
2012-12-05 03:14:58 PM  
Has anyone heard from subby? Lots of people died in that typhoon, so far 280+ Hope subby's aight.
 
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