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(ESPN)   Can Green Bay hold off a Viking onslaught? Could the Rams tie the 49ers a second time? Will anyone survive in Steelers/Ravens II? All this plus the Cards & Jets in an epic suckfest. It's your lucky Week 13 NFL thread   (scores.espn.go.com) divider line 3151
    More: Cool, 'Tis the Season, Rex Grossman, Peyton Hillis, Matt Cassel, key dates, Donovan McNabb, Rashard Mendenhall, Tim Tebow  
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440 clicks; posted to Sports » on 02 Dec 2012 at 12:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-02 09:04:15 AM
Is Seattle wide awake, alert and juiced to be playing in Chicago?
 
2012-12-02 09:58:07 AM
The only game available in the 1:00pm slot here in the NYC metro area is Arizona/NY Jets.

I'm either going to the local pub to get drunk and watch competent football teams or just going back to sleep until 3:30.

I had pretty strong opinions in my best bets this week:
Cardinals +4.5. When you O-Line coach tells the media to fark off, and that the only reason he's playing a certain guy because of instructions from "high above me", your first quarterback has just committed possibly the most notorious NFL play of the decade while your second quarterback went from "injured but active" last week and without playing a single down has been changed to "not injured but inactive"... basically the only way you can be favored is by playing a team on an even more vicious trainwreck. And even then, I'm still picking the Cardinals to outright win.
Panthers -3. Yeah, yeah, but I'd pick this anyway. Carolina's bad, but Kansas City is turrible.
Colts +4.5. The Lions are rightfully devastated by their Thanksgiving loss, but the Colts have put together a good run of games. I think this one is a shootout, probably decided by no more than a field goal.
 
2012-12-02 10:07:07 AM
I'm a homer. I admit it.

Now that that's out of the way, Pittsburgh is STILL going to beat Baltimore today. Why? First off, the Ratbirds beat Pittsburgh two weeks ago on the strength of a single punt return against a second-string quarterback who had broken ribs for almost the entire game. Second, the three picks Batch threw last week had as much to do with the running backs and receivers as they did with him. If the backs hadn't coated their hands with Vaseline He wouldn't have been in the position to throw the ball at the end, and if Wallace weren't laying such an egg this year he might have caught it instead of lofting it up for grabs when the ball hit his stone hands.

Last, they have Troy and Antonio back this week. Mendenhall got the richly deserved demotion, finally, and Wallace is sharing time with Sanders. So much for the "Megatron/Fitzgerald" money for Wallace, eh?

Pittsburgh by 3.
 
2012-12-02 10:52:14 AM
I woke up right before writing this preamble, so forgive me if little of it makes sense any. I'll tell you what does make sense, though: paying heed to my uncanny football instincts and just accepting that every single one of these games will go exactly as I say they will, except for two or three of them. Or maybe five or six; at any rate, heed, damn you, heed (beer; now!).

However, before we get into the fun & games of picking these games and throwing in a little of what I consider wit, we need to get serious for a moment and take note of a tragic occurrence which took place in the National Football League this past week. It's a sad tale of wasted promise and potential which will now never be achieved, one which can't help but cause each of us, the fans, to stop and take note of what's really important when we watch these players duke it out for our entertainment. A story of hope, and sadly, a story of despair which ended all too soon. I'm speaking, of course, of the scratching of Ben Roethlisberger from the starting lineup once again, and of the ensuing death of the Pittsburgh Steelers' playoff chances which is scheduled to be televised live beginning at 4:25pm Eastern today (check local listings).

And now, without further ado, let's get on with the business of soothsaying. "Sooth," I say. Now you try.

Jacksonville Jaguars at Buffalo Bills:
The Jaguars have suddenly become an interesting team, with Chad Henne providing some semblance of an offense and pass-rusher Justin Babin, just claimed on waivers from Philadelphia, looking to provide a sack presence on D. That said, I don't think this team is quite capable of pulling off a road victory just yet, not even against the Bills, and Babin is unlikely to help the 29th-ranked run defense contain C.J. Spiller. Buffalo wins in a squeaker.

Seattle Seahawks at Chicago Bears:
Seattle is just 6-5 overall, despite being 5-0 at home. All you math majors out there can probably deduce that this means the team reverts back to Seachicken form when on the road, and it's tough to think of many road venues less hospitable in early December than Chicago. Look for this one to return the Seahawks to their natural habitat: .500.

Indianapolis Colts at Detroit Lions:
Anybody think Jim Schwartz is going to be cavalier about throwing a challenge flag this week? Indy is shockingly at the top of the AFC Wild Card leaderboard while the Lions are looking forward to this season's end, but Detroit was only one play (or one ill-advised toss of a red hankie) away from pulling off a monumental upset of the Houston Texans last week, and the three losses in their current losing streak have been by a combined 17 points. The Colts still have to be considered a favorite for a playoff berth, but they'll have to win some other games to cement that.

Minnesota Vikings at Green Bay Packers:
Ahhh, another chance for Chris Berman to wax nostalgic about the NFC Norris division and this epic battle on the frozen tundra of Lambeau Field. All that aside, though, both teams are in do-or-die mode right now, and it's tough to picture Minnesota (1-4 on the road) coming in and defeating Aaron Rodgers and the Pack (4-1 at home and also a great band name) in Green Bay. Assuming, that is, that Rodgers can survive another week behind his offensive sieve, err, line.

Carolina Panthers at Kansas City Chiefs:
Note: I made this pick and wrote this up before the events which transpired in Kansas City yesterday, but now more than ever I can see this club finally rallying together and earning a home victory against a very beatable foe.
What the fark am I doing picking the Chiefs to win a game? Two reasons: one, it's against Carolina, who can't possibly muster a two-game winning streak (Einstein proved it). Two, and more importantly: the best thing Kansas City can possibly do at this point is lose out and lock up the #1 draft pick, and when was the last time a Chiefs team did what was best for them? Throw the stats out the window for this one, because we're just going with the simple laws of nature here.

New England Patriots at Miami Dolphins:
Finally, I'm picking a road team to win. This one seems like a no-brainer, though: New England is riding a five-game winning streak, during which the fewest points they've scored in a game was 29 (in week 7, the first win of that string). Miami has topped 29 points only twice this season: week two against Oakland (like that's an achievement), and week 8 vs. the Jets (ditto). Bill Belichick gets another chance to run up the score this week, and takes it.

Arizona Cardinals at New York Jets:
Ugh...I wish I could pick both teams to lose. The Cardinals have a chance to make NFL history by becoming the first team to start a season 4-0 and then lose the remaining 12 games (I didn't look that one up, but I'm confident they'd be the first), while four of the Jets' seven losses this season have been by more than 20 points apiece. At least Mark Sanchez will finally get to play a game where he's the best quarterback on the field. Maybe.

San Francisco 49ers at St. Louis Rams:
Finally, we get to break the tie. Fresh off of convincing victories over the 8-2 Bears and in New Orleans, the Niners set their sights on the 4-6-1 Rams in what might be the first-ever week 13 meeting between division rivals who are both still unbeaten within that division (technically true!). Sadly for St. Louis, I think they used up all their miracles in week 10.

Houston Texans at Tennessee Titans:
Prior to their last two games, the Titans had held only two opponents under 30 points this season. Prior to their last two games, the Texans had allowed only one opponent to break the 30 barrier. Since then, Tennessee has allowed only 27 points in total, while Houston has coughed up 68 combined to Jacksonville and Detroit. What...the...fark? Did these two teams secretly trade defenses as part of some vast conspiracy to sell coffee or Walmart steaks? I have no idea if this one will be 45-41 or 13-9, but I still have faith in the Texans to win it.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Denver Broncos:
Once again, the Bucs' inability to stop the pass will keelhaul them. If Tampa can play perfectly on offense and win the turnover battle then they stand a shot here, but...I don't know that Tampa can play perfectly on offense or win the turnover battle. Another week, another second-half, come-from-behind win for the Broncos. Hey, maybe it wasn't that Tebow guy last season after all.

Pittsburgh Steelers at Baltimore Ravens:
Lost in all the talk of their offensive woes on the road and the decline of their defenses' statistics is the fact that in the four games since their bye week, Baltimore has held all four opponents to 20 or fewer points. Okay, so those four opponents were Cleveland, Oakland, San Diego, and the Batchburg Steelers, it's still something to build off of. The Ravens' home win streak now rests at 15, while their AFC North winning streak is up to 12. Even with Roethlisberger I doubt Pittsburgh could get the win in B-more; with Batch at the helm again, no way.

Cleveland Browns at Oakland Raiders:
Both teams come in to this game at 3-8. The Browns have been outscored by 39 points in total on the season. Oakland has been outscored by 138. A bit of an upset, what with Cleveland being the only team in the NFL still looking for their first road win of 2012, but I have faith in the Raiders' ability to make that happen.

Cincinnati Bengals at San Diego Chargers:
It's that time of the year again: Salvation Army bells are clattering outside every mall entrance, Santa Claus is doing his best to convince us that we all need a new car for the holidays, and the San Diego Chargers will be doing just enough to force their fans to endure another season of Norvball. And that's really all that needs to be said here.

Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys:
Every single week, the Dallas Cowboys play so poorly that I'm convinced they can't possibly win another game. And then every single week after that, they draw an opponent so weak that it's difficult not to pick them. Against the Nick Foles-led, Justin Babinless Eagles, I'd pick the Dallas Vigilantes to win, let alone the Cowboys. The Vigilantes were an arena league team. Were.

New York Giants at Washington Redskins:
So the Giants utterly dominated Green Bay last weekend while the Redskins did the same to Dallas (before allowing a trademark Tony Romo not-quite-comeback). Anything is possible when it comes to the NFC East, but I think New York can maintain focus for long enough to end Robert Griffin's string of four touchdown performances and drop Washington back below the Cowboys in the standings.
 
2012-12-02 11:52:22 AM

Harv72b: I woke up right before writing this preamble, so forgive me if little of it makes sense any.
.


What would make sense is you got yourself a sports blog and had at it, fark is for quips and snarks, not some wanna be prognosticator. You're both good enough at this to be doing it for reals, and you also are good enough at this to be annoying as eff to people that read Fark specifically to avoid this crap on ESPN, or to mock it.

Up to you though, snowflake.
 
2012-12-02 11:58:49 AM
mistical.com
 
2012-12-02 12:02:03 PM
Wait, Martz is doing color now? Totally didn't know that.
 
2012-12-02 12:07:27 PM
Go Cowboys!!!

/We get Murray back :)
 
2012-12-02 12:07:56 PM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: I'm a homer. I admit it.

Now that that's out of the way, Pittsburgh is STILL going to beat Baltimore today. Why? First off, the Ratbirds beat Pittsburgh two weeks ago on the strength of a single punt return against a second-string quarterback who had broken ribs for almost the entire game. Second, the three picks Batch threw last week had as much to do with the running backs and receivers as they did with him. If the backs hadn't coated their hands with Vaseline He wouldn't have been in the position to throw the ball at the end, and if Wallace weren't laying such an egg this year he might have caught it instead of lofting it up for grabs when the ball hit his stone hands.

Last, they have Troy and Antonio back this week. Mendenhall got the richly deserved demotion, finally, and Wallace is sharing time with Sanders. So much for the "Megatron/Fitzgerald" money for Wallace, eh?

Pittsburgh by 3.

imageshack.us
 
2012-12-02 12:08:50 PM
Is the league office going to fine Kansas City for resting a starter?
 
2012-12-02 12:09:16 PM
www.majhost.com

It's to the point that this post is being made half-heartedly
Go Cards!
 
2012-12-02 12:09:25 PM

Generation_D: What would make sense is you got yourself a sports blog and had at it, fark is for quips and snarks, not some wanna be prognosticator. You're both good enough at this to be doing it for reals, and you also are good enough at this to be annoying as eff to people that read Fark specifically to avoid this crap on ESPN, or to mock it.


It's easy enough to skip over or block me if you don't enjoy reading it. But thanks for the compliment. :)

/If I got my own blog I'd be part of the system.
//The system is evil.
///Apple proved it in that Super Bowl ad.
 
2012-12-02 12:10:11 PM
Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...
 
2012-12-02 12:10:28 PM
9-7!!!

*cardilulz.jpg*

I have faith!

/someone post pic please
//on mobile, doing recording session during the first half
///slashies come in threes
 
2012-12-02 12:11:59 PM
img651.imageshack.us
 
2012-12-02 12:12:24 PM

UNC_Samurai: Is the league office going to fine Kansas City for resting a starter?


Is Charles sitting today? His family has to be going through hell right now.

/Yes, I get the joke. Belcher is the starter.
 
2012-12-02 12:12:34 PM

TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...


The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?
 
2012-12-02 12:14:42 PM

cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?


Do you ever hang out at Cowboys forums? I'm a regular at Cowboyszone.com, and i think about half of them expect us to lose today. Really, it's one of the most pessimistic fan bases in sports.
 
2012-12-02 12:15:38 PM

cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?


It's happened before. Like on xmas day even. They will find a way to make the Eagles look good.
 
2012-12-02 12:16:30 PM
LETS GO PATS

0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2012-12-02 12:17:31 PM

muck4doo: cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?

Do you ever hang out at Cowboys forums? I'm a regular at Cowboyszone.com, and i think about half of them expect us to lose today. Really, it's one of the most pessimistic fan bases in sports.


Lt. Cheese Weasel: cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?

It's happened before. Like on xmas day even. They will find a way to make the Eagles look good.


See what I mean?
 
2012-12-02 12:18:15 PM
Uhhhhh.

Someone talk me out of taking the Rams at home at +7.5 vs SF
 
2012-12-02 12:19:16 PM
According to the Fox pregame, the Chiefs were given several opportunities to back out, but voted unanimously to play and try and get their minds off it for a little bit.

CBS, apparently, led off with a breakdown of the AFC playoff picture and took five minutes to get around to Arrowhead.
 
2012-12-02 12:19:22 PM

4NSpy: Uhhhhh.

Someone talk me out of taking the Rams at home at +7.5 vs SF


lulz. Go for it. No guts, no glory.
 
2012-12-02 12:19:27 PM
Are they gonna really air a Rob Riggle comedy skit seeing as he's such a big chiefs fan?
 
2012-12-02 12:19:39 PM
Hopefully the Chiefs don't shoot themselves with unnecessary penalties this week.
 
2012-12-02 12:20:01 PM

4NSpy: Uhhhhh.

Someone talk me out of taking the Rams at home at +7.5 vs SF


No. If you think that, you deserve the loss. :P
 
2012-12-02 12:20:32 PM

muck4doo: muck4doo: cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?

Do you ever hang out at Cowboys forums? I'm a regular at Cowboyszone.com, and i think about half of them expect us to lose today. Really, it's one of the most pessimistic fan bases in sports.

Lt. Cheese Weasel: cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?

It's happened before. Like on xmas day even. They will find a way to make the Eagles look good.

See what I mean?


Guess I missed the part that would give me some hope or optimism.
 
2012-12-02 12:20:34 PM
or no money....
 
2012-12-02 12:20:37 PM

cookiefleck: Are they gonna really air a Rob Riggle comedy skit seeing as he's such a big chiefs fan?


If they cancel it, then the terrorists have won.
 
2012-12-02 12:20:45 PM
I get Cards/Jets aka ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
2012-12-02 12:20:54 PM
This VS model has a weird face.
 
2012-12-02 12:21:17 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: muck4doo: muck4doo: cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?

Do you ever hang out at Cowboys forums? I'm a regular at Cowboyszone.com, and i think about half of them expect us to lose today. Really, it's one of the most pessimistic fan bases in sports.

Lt. Cheese Weasel: cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?

It's happened before. Like on xmas day even. They will find a way to make the Eagles look good.

See what I mean?

Guess I missed the part that would give me some hope or optimism.


We're both Cowboys fans. I understand.
 
2012-12-02 12:21:47 PM

Gosling: According to the Fox pregame, the Chiefs were given several opportunities to back out, but voted unanimously to play and try and get their minds off it for a little bit.

CBS, apparently, led off with a breakdown of the AFC playoff picture and took five minutes to get around to Arrowhead.


And they're now talking to a Vicky's model.
 
2012-12-02 12:22:11 PM
Haven't pulled the trigger on Rams +7.5.....yet

Got Under 37 in SEA/CHI.
 
2012-12-02 12:22:24 PM
Today we get to see just how much depth the Texans defense actually has. The linebackers are down to backups and Joseph is out. Supposed to be trying out Brian Braman, who was that dude on special teams who made the head first, helmetless tackle earlier in the year. They should pull it off though.

Farking killing me that I'm going to be out of town for the playoffs and Super Bowl. Been waiting my whole life for a Houston appearance in the big show and I'll be deep in Patriots country if they make it.
 
2012-12-02 12:23:03 PM

4NSpy: Haven't pulled the trigger on Rams +7.5.....yet

Got Under 37 in SEA/CHI.


Now THAT is a keeper.
 
2012-12-02 12:23:09 PM
CBS wants to get stuff done with no distractions I guess.
 
2012-12-02 12:24:40 PM

alwaysjaded: Farking killing me that I'm going to be out of town for the playoffs and Super Bowl. Been waiting my whole life for a Houston appearance in the big show and I'll be deep in Patriots country if they make it.


Look on the bright side - if the Patriots make it again, and fail yet again due to their D, you'll be in the perfect place.
 
2012-12-02 12:25:56 PM
Vikes play another division foe coming off a terrible loss. Away. Going to be a long day for the purple.
 
2012-12-02 12:26:36 PM

4NSpy: Haven't pulled the trigger on Rams +7.5.....yet

Got Under 37 in SEA/CHI.


Don't. The Niners are gonna win by at least 10.
 
2012-12-02 12:27:17 PM
If Niners/Rams go to another tie, it'll throw the earth off it's axis.
 
2012-12-02 12:27:34 PM

jackiepaper: 4NSpy: Haven't pulled the trigger on Rams +7.5.....yet

Got Under 37 in SEA/CHI.

Don't. The Niners are gonna win by at least 10.


I think I'll stay away. Hard to with a home dog in a divisional game with a > TD spread.
 
2012-12-02 12:28:16 PM

muck4doo: Lt. Cheese Weasel: muck4doo: muck4doo: cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?

Do you ever hang out at Cowboys forums? I'm a regular at Cowboyszone.com, and i think about half of them expect us to lose today. Really, it's one of the most pessimistic fan bases in sports.

Lt. Cheese Weasel: cookiefleck: TheMaskedArmadillo: Subby - I am betting Cowboys v Iggles is going to be a bigger suckfest than Cards/Jets. The wife is dragging me to the Deathstar tonight to be a part of that swirling vortex...

The cowboys will probably win tonight, but can you imagine what would happen if the cowboys lost at home to the iggles?

It's happened before. Like on xmas day even. They will find a way to make the Eagles look good.

See what I mean?

Guess I missed the part that would give me some hope or optimism.

We're both Cowboys fans. I understand.


I predicted that if by game 5 (Baltimore) if the running game could get untracked and the O line would gel, they could have something. Well, it did, for that game, and they lost and they don't.
Tony is running for his life every time is more than a 3 step drop or hot route, Murray has once again made a mid season career decision and this offensivle line is a hopeless bunch of bums who couldn't block the nuns of Our Saints of the Worthless Miracle monastery.
 
2012-12-02 12:28:58 PM

eddievercetti: If Niners/Rams go to another tie, it'll throw the earth off it's axis.


Cool.
 
2012-12-02 12:29:22 PM
It's going to suck later today when the Raiders get blown out at home....by the Browns.
 
2012-12-02 12:30:37 PM
Prediction in a game that nobody cares about:

Bills run up the score on the Jags.
 
2012-12-02 12:31:21 PM
What's Trending in the NFL? Not the elephant in the room.
 
2012-12-02 12:31:25 PM

4NSpy: It's going to suck later today when the Raiders get blown out at home....by the Browns.


And then see, I get pulled back to reality. It's always worse in Oakland. And I smile.
 
2012-12-02 12:31:37 PM

Lt. Cheese Weasel: I predicted that if by game 5 (Baltimore) if the running game could get untracked and the O line would gel, they could have something. Well, it did, for that game, and they lost and they don't.


Our run defense (Baltimore) sucks, though. But it's somehow gotten better since Ray Lewis has been sidelined...
 
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