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(JackFM)   Walmart called, your family Christmas photos are in   (sandiegojack.com) divider line 139
    More: Scary, Merry Christmas, Baby Jesus  
•       •       •

36913 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Dec 2012 at 4:12 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



139 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-12-01 06:58:33 PM  
+1 for the proper tag
 
2012-12-01 07:38:10 PM  
At turns hilarious and disturbing, I think this should go green to inspire all Farkers to create their own holiday memories.
 
2012-12-02 02:27:33 PM  
ugh!

/reaches for the eye bleach
 
2012-12-02 02:52:26 PM  
I suddenly feel better about my family. Thanks, Fark!
 
2012-12-02 02:55:43 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

This week on Doomsday Preppers......
 
2012-12-02 03:17:39 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

everybodys got something to hide except for me and my monkey
 
2012-12-02 03:35:12 PM  
I don't know what's more terrifying -- that people took pictures like those, or that they thought that they should put them online where someone could find them and collect them in such an article. Or that they sent them to loved ones, who then turned around and put them online for the lulz.

At any rate, I'm really glad our family didn't do posed Christmas pictures. My hideous horn-rimmed pudgy teen visage was bad enough without being stuffed into a festive turtleneck and posed with a senile family member or pet.
 
2012-12-02 04:17:35 PM  
The fig leaf and coconut one was the most disturbing one for me.
 
2012-12-02 04:22:53 PM  
It's a shame they took our Kodachrome away.
 
2012-12-02 04:23:06 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Is that a Hannah Anderson catalog picture?
 
2012-12-02 04:23:42 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

Jesus Curist died for your steak.
 
2012-12-02 04:24:41 PM  
I bet with a little effort, you could date those right down to the second. Based on clothing, hairstyles, and hideous furry sofas.
 
2012-12-02 04:25:14 PM  
The boy has a future.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-02 04:27:46 PM  
www.billdoskoch.ca
 
2012-12-02 04:28:04 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Dog: "Dear God, help me! I'm so afraid!"
 
2012-12-02 04:30:05 PM  
Does the writer also work for the Daily Mail? That's the only other place I've seen such unnecessary, insipid comments (besides Fark).
 
2012-12-02 04:30:06 PM  
Christmas sweaters are a polite way of saying "I hate you"
 
2012-12-02 04:31:04 PM  
The worse family photos are the ones with the entire extended family dressed in jeans and white sweaters, taken beneath the boughs of some majestic oak tree. Could you get any more narcissistic?
 
2012-12-02 04:31:15 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
Clockwise from the man:

"LOL, mom"
"LOL grandma"
"LOL grandma"
"LOL mother in law"

"I, in fully sound state of mind, declare this to be my last will and testament. Burn all of my money and property in front of my only son, his biatch wife and their smelly daughters. Then stick a fan behind the ashes and trap them on the other side of the ash pile. Then turn the fan on and let the ashes blow all over their stupid clothes. But don't burn my stupid hat. That, you give back to my son, and say sternly, 'THIS IS WHY.' Then free them."
 
2012-12-02 04:31:36 PM  
Excuse me while i print some of these out and put them in my neighbor's mailbox...
 
2012-12-02 04:32:32 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com: Jews did it
 
2012-12-02 04:32:33 PM  
What, no Mike Huckabee Family Christmas Photos?

24.media.tumblr.com

I mean, they had to have gotten them at Wal-Mart. It's one of those Major Dad things.
 
2012-12-02 04:33:59 PM  
I learned quite a bit when I managed a Walmart photo lab, like:

- Sunsets all look the same
- Crossdressers are who you least expect
- People like taking pictures of their junk (and I don't mean their messy houses)
- Clowns are extremely miserable people
- Taking photos of the Las Vegas Strip at night through your windshield is an awful idea
- People have no idea how to read negative numbers (or file names for that matter)
- Chances are someone, somewhere will see even your most "private" photos if you decide to have them printed outside your home

Keep in mind that this was in the days before digital photography so...there you go.
 
2012-12-02 04:34:22 PM  
image.spreadshirt.net
 
2012-12-02 04:35:59 PM  

Deathfrogg: The boy has a future.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 414x600]


You realize that's a GIRL, right?
 
2012-12-02 04:36:48 PM  
That figleaf one will end up being Exhibit A in one of those kids defense lineup one day, mark my words....
 
2012-12-02 04:37:14 PM  
Struggling to find anything that WOULDN'T embarass me.
3.bp.blogspot.com4.bp.blogspot.com1.bp.blogspot.com
OTOH this looks like my parents when I was a baby, so I know what their problem is:
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-02 04:37:41 PM  

Artcurus: Deathfrogg: The boy has a future.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 414x600]

You realize that's a GIRL, right?


Woosh....
 
2012-12-02 04:37:49 PM  

CaesarSneezy: Does the writer also work for the Daily Mail? That's the only other place I've seen such unnecessary, insipid comments (besides Fark).


And yet, here you are.
 
2012-12-02 04:37:55 PM  
"Holy Christmas Batman, Batgirl, Batdog and Robin."

That's not Batman, it's Booster Gold--err, I mean, Green Lantern.
 
2012-12-02 04:40:50 PM  
How long before a fark family christmas photo photoshop contest ?
 
2012-12-02 04:42:10 PM  

grimlock1972: How long before a fark family christmas photo photoshop contest ?


It's been ongoing.
 
2012-12-02 04:47:41 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 427x600]

everybodys got something to hide except for me and my monkey


Interracial adoptions are so cute.
 
2012-12-02 04:48:12 PM  
If it is wrong to pose naked with children in photographs, then I don't want to be right...
 
2012-12-02 04:50:07 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
i233.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-02 04:52:11 PM  

safeinsane: I learned quite a bit when I managed a Walmart photo lab, like:

- Sunsets all look the same
- Crossdressers are who you least expect
- People like taking pictures of their junk (and I don't mean their messy houses)
- Clowns are extremely miserable people
- Taking photos of the Las Vegas Strip at night through your windshield is an awful idea
- People have no idea how to read negative numbers (or file names for that matter)
- Chances are someone, somewhere will see even your most "private" photos if you decide to have them printed outside your home

Keep in mind that this was in the days before digital photography so...there you go.


img.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-02 04:58:29 PM  

SoxSweepAgain:
[img.photobucket.com image 160x100]


Heh. If anything, I wanted to run away from the people I encountered at the photo lab.
 
2012-12-02 05:01:42 PM  
Not scary, terrifying, epic or awkward. Maybe the thrill has worn off after seeing these pictures for 8 christmases in a row.
 
2012-12-02 05:04:26 PM  

DiRF: "Holy Christmas Batman, Batgirl, Batdog and Robin."

That's not Batman, it's Booster Gold--err, I mean, Green Lantern.


Glad to see this has been covered.

Some people should not be allowed in front of cameras.

/still scarred by the non-Christmas Stack O' Nudists
 
2012-12-02 05:06:15 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-02 05:08:17 PM  

basemetal: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x373]

This week on Doomsday Preppers......


Whenever I see a picture like this, it never fails: bad trigger control.
 
2012-12-02 05:08:21 PM  

Dead for Tax Reasons: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 427x600]

everybodys got something to hide except for me and my monkey


Come on come on come on come on
 
2012-12-02 05:09:22 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com

What I always wanted to do in my early 'mall goth/babybat stage'.

/now that I am older and wiser, I still want to do that!
//I will even trade hats. I get the red hat, he gets my yarmukle!
 
2012-12-02 05:09:35 PM  

Fish in a Barrel: basemetal: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x373]

This week on Doomsday Preppers......

Whenever I see a picture like this, it never fails: bad trigger control.


Heh, it was the first thing I spotted.
 
2012-12-02 05:14:17 PM  
Most of these are horrifying accidents and stupidities, but a few of them just struck me as committed performers.
 
2012-12-02 05:15:58 PM  
This girl at my church decided to go goth and embarrassed her family for a while by coming to church like that. One weekend her parents dragged her there and they were dressed up like that too. Cured it in one weekend.
 
2012-12-02 05:16:18 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 353x432]
4.bp.blogspot.com
What I always wanted to do in my early 'mall goth/babybat stage'.

/now that I am older and wiser, I still want to do that!
//I will even trade hats. I get the red hat, he gets my yarmukle!


Alright, you know the rule, Goth kids on my right, Emo kids on the left, and Vampire kids can GTFO and go to hell.
 
2012-12-02 05:20:38 PM  
Were these all ripped off from Awkward Family Photos by a lame shock-jock morning radio show? Or just the first one?
 
2012-12-02 05:22:25 PM  

Enigmamf: Were these all ripped off from Awkward Family Photos by a lame shock-jock morning radio show? Or just the first one?


"ripped" off like AFP created them.
 
2012-12-02 05:25:11 PM  

Enigmamf: Were these all ripped off from Awkward Family Photos by a lame shock-jock morning radio show? Or just the first one?


They couldn't even bother to crop the logo out of most of them. Pretty bad form.
 
2012-12-02 05:28:44 PM  

JonZoidberg: This girl at my church decided to go goth and embarrassed her family for a while by coming to church like that. One weekend her parents dragged her there and they were dressed up like that too. Cured it in one weekend.


Would have done the opposite to me, would have been happy to not be bothered all the time about the way I dress from my parents. My argument for them back then (and still is today, strangely enough), "I don't dress like this at work, I dress how I feel during 'my time'; because no common person who sees me and is opposed to me dressing how I feel in public has any personal bearing on my life. I should not change myself to comfort the assumed personal opinions of complete strangers."

I am curious of what that girl is like now, after she got "cured" and do you have any pics of the "Goth Family" handy?! :)
 
2012-12-02 05:29:53 PM  

LazarusLong42: Enigmamf: Were these all ripped off from Awkward Family Photos by a lame shock-jock morning radio show? Or just the first one?

They couldn't even bother to crop the logo out of most of them. Pretty bad form.


it's a Jack format station. It's pretty remarkable they went as far as they did.
 
2012-12-02 05:30:25 PM  

GreatGlavinsGhost: 1.bp.blogspot.com


I'm fairly certain that's a parody.

Please say it is.
 
2012-12-02 05:37:25 PM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: GreatGlavinsGhost: 1.bp.blogspot.com

I'm fairly certain that's a parody.

Please say it is.


Na I am pretty sure thats my cousin Dave, he still lives in his doublewide up in East Tennessee, just past the Cumberland gap.
 
2012-12-02 05:38:43 PM  
How does the article author not know who Bozo the Clown is? I mean, it's motherf♥ckin' BOZO. Isn't he essentially the high king or Pope of clowns?!?!
 
2012-12-02 05:39:48 PM  
New!
 
2012-12-02 05:43:09 PM  
In-laws owned a photo lab years ago. Closed around the early start of the internet. They would make copies of every stupid or raunchy pic that came in for developing. They had a huge box of pictures and would laugh and laugh at all the loser pics and homemade porn that came in. Wish they had saved them. I could own a massive website today with all those pics.
 
2012-12-02 05:45:30 PM  
I'll admit it, I kinda liked that sofa.
 
2012-12-02 05:49:59 PM  
Ha! These are just as funny as last year!

/and the year before
 
2012-12-02 05:50:34 PM  

whidbey: What, no Mike Huckabee Family Christmas Photos?

[24.media.tumblr.com image 468x376]

I mean, they had to have gotten them at Wal-Mart. It's one of those Major Dad things.


Later, they all went to the roof of the local Winn-Dixie and yelled out, "We are the beef people!"
 
2012-12-02 05:53:26 PM  

ZeroCorpse: How does the article author not know who Bozo the Clown is? I mean, it's motherf♥ckin' BOZO. Isn't he essentially the high king or Pope of clowns?!?!


SO Glad this was covered by someone.
 
2012-12-02 05:55:29 PM  

JonZoidberg: This girl at my church decided to go goth and embarrassed her family for a while by coming to church like that. One weekend her parents dragged her there and they were dressed up like that too. Cured it in one weekend.


Heh, a coworker of mine used to tell the story about when her daughter's boyfriend pulled up to the house to pick her up, and there was a little pair of lace panties hanging from his rearview. (Yes, sadly this was a thing at one time.) My coworker's husband pulled his car out front of the house, went and got a pair of her XXL grannie panties and hung them from his mirror. They waited up for boyfriend to drop the daughter off. They say you could hear her scream for miles.

Yeah, boyfriend never showed up with the panties on the mirror again.

geoduck42: I'll admit it, I kinda liked that sofa.


It needs eyes. And teeth.
 
2012-12-02 05:55:58 PM  

whidbey: What, no Mike Huckabee Family Christmas Photos?



I mean, they had to have gotten them at Wal-Mart. It's one of those Major Dad things.


Which one is the animal torturer?
 
2012-12-02 05:56:00 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 353x432]

What I always wanted to do in my early 'mall goth/babybat stage'.

/now that I am older and wiser, I still want to do that!
//I will even trade hats. I get the red hat, he gets my yarmukle!


I used to live in Monmouth County. Do you honestly have any business? It's rich and conservative. How do you survive with your goth DJ business?
 
2012-12-02 05:57:09 PM  
i.telegraph.co.uk

When I think of Christmas, nothing like scantily kids...(definitely scary)

2.bp.blogspot.com

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-02 05:59:24 PM  

JonZoidberg: This girl at my church decided to go goth and embarrassed her family for a while by coming to church like that. One weekend her parents dragged her there and they were dressed up like that too. Cured it in one weekend.


Inspired parenting! +1
 
2012-12-02 06:02:08 PM  
TAKE IT AWAY UGLYCAT
 
2012-12-02 06:02:37 PM  
White people.

Just... white people.

Damn.
 
2012-12-02 06:02:39 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com 

Screw the balloon willy, what about the blood spatters on the wall and on Santa's right glove?
 
2012-12-02 06:02:42 PM  

laid back w/bud light: In-laws owned a photo lab years ago. Closed around the early start of the internet. They would make copies of every stupid or raunchy pic that came in for developing. They had a huge box of pictures and would laugh and laugh at all the loser pics and homemade porn that came in. Wish they had saved them. I could own a massive website today with all those pics.


A friend of mine worked at a one hour photo lab at our mall years ago. Me & a buddy saw him working & went to talk to him. He goes in back & brings a couple a pics out, slides them to us face down. "Keep 'em, we got copies. You didn't get them from me." They were each pics of a guy & gal naked tied to a bedpost. We walked around the mall and they had home improvement week with local businesses pedaling their stuff. One of the area home siding places was there with a couple of folding tables with pictures of homes they did. While my partner-in-crime distracted the siding expert, I slid the pics under the plexiglas topped table for the public to enjoy. After 5 minutes or so some old lady screamed in holy terror when she saw the pictures.
/CSB
 
2012-12-02 06:08:06 PM  

offmymeds: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 401x600]

Dog: "Dear God, help me! I'm so afraid!"


This looks extremely shopped for me. The guy is at an angle and the words on his shirt are so perfectly straight.

The one with the whole family blinking is great.
 
2012-12-02 06:15:08 PM  
YIKES!!
 
2012-12-02 06:15:23 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: JonZoidberg: This girl at my church decided to go goth and embarrassed her family for a while by coming to church like that. One weekend her parents dragged her there and they were dressed up like that too. Cured it in one weekend.

Would have done the opposite to me, would have been happy to not be bothered all the time about the way I dress from my parents. My argument for them back then (and still is today, strangely enough), "I don't dress like this at work, I dress how I feel during 'my time'; because no common person who sees me and is opposed to me dressing how I feel in public has any personal bearing on my life. I should not change myself to comfort the assumed personal opinions of complete strangers."

I am curious of what that girl is like now, after she got "cured" and do you have any pics of the "Goth Family" handy?! :)


Nah, that was the mid '90s, when nobody had cameras handy. She was a few years younger than me so I was off to college not long after. Also, I doubt she hated getting hassled. I think kids dress like that because they want the negative attention because they can't get the kind of attention that they really want. I think if nobody laughed at gothapotamus they'd be even more emo.
 
2012-12-02 06:15:29 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: DarkSoulNoHope: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 353x432]

What I always wanted to do in my early 'mall goth/babybat stage'.

/now that I am older and wiser, I still want to do that!
//I will even trade hats. I get the red hat, he gets my yarmukle!

I used to live in Monmouth County. Do you honestly have any business? It's rich and conservative. How do you survive with your goth DJ business?


I get business by heading to the places that aren't so boringly conservative like Newark and New York City (currently working to get gigs in Philadelphia). Mainly surviving due to day jobs. The only place that isn't a Conservative hellhole is Asbury Park, unfortunately for me it's also a Hipster hellhole. (The Saint only does live shows, Asbury Lanes has been a hipster/rockabilly paradise since 2003, and the yuppified boardwalk isn't much help either!) I always have that fantasy that one day I'll win the lottery and take one of the ancient designed churches here with the small congregation and turn it into my own personal Goth club, but it's only a dream to keep me going. :)
 
2012-12-02 06:16:06 PM  

whidbey: What, no Mike Huckabee Family Christmas Photos?

gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net


Stripes are slimming!

/so they're even bigger
 
2012-12-02 06:17:20 PM  

JohnCarter: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x288]

When I think of Christmas, nothing like scantily kids...(definitely scary)

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 456x600]


YATTA!!! 
 
2012-12-02 06:18:58 PM  

JohnCarter: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x288]

When I think of Christmas, nothing like scantily kids...(definitely scary)

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 451x600]


Mom and Dad look like real estate agents.
 
2012-12-02 06:19:05 PM  
lh3.ggpht.com

Hawt girl-on-girl action


/3 GILFs, 2 MILFs, 1 cup
 
HBK
2012-12-02 06:22:18 PM  

Mad Mark: laid back w/bud light: In-laws owned a photo lab years ago. Closed around the early start of the internet. They would make copies of every stupid or raunchy pic that came in for developing. They had a huge box of pictures and would laugh and laugh at all the loser pics and homemade porn that came in. Wish they had saved them. I could own a massive website today with all those pics.

A friend of mine worked at a one hour photo lab at our mall years ago. Me & a buddy saw him working & went to talk to him. He goes in back & brings a couple a pics out, slides them to us face down. "Keep 'em, we got copies. You didn't get them from me." They were each pics of a guy & gal naked tied to a bedpost. We walked around the mall and they had home improvement week with local businesses pedaling their stuff. One of the area home siding places was there with a couple of folding tables with pictures of homes they did. While my partner-in-crime distracted the siding expert, I slid the pics under the plexiglas topped table for the public to enjoy. After 5 minutes or so some old lady screamed in holy terror when she saw the pictures.
/CSB


Lol.

Reminds me a my own CSB: I knew a person who tore a page out of a porno mag and slid it through the glass in a trophy case at our high school. It stayed there for months because nobody had a key. And it was a Catholic school.
 
2012-12-02 06:27:00 PM  

JonZoidberg: Nah, that was the mid '90s, when nobody had cameras handy. She was a few years younger than me so I was off to college not long after. Also, I doubt she hated getting hassled. I think kids dress like that because they want the negative attention because they can't get the kind of attention that they really want. I think if nobody laughed at gothapotamus they'd be even more emo.


You're probably right, for some Goths it's a cry for attention, for others it's a coping mechanism. (like me. at least it started out that way, I think, and turned into a kind of lifestyle later on) For Emo kids though, it's just an excuse to find a way to be sad! Vampire kids on the other hand just plain suck!
 
2012-12-02 06:30:28 PM  

HBK: Reminds me a my own CSB: I knew a person who tore a page out of a porno mag and slid it through the glass in a trophy case at our high school. It stayed there for months because nobody had a key. And it was a Catholic school.


Actually they didn't take it out because the priest didn't think it was pornography. Now if it was a picture of an altar boy in his robes, the priest would snatch it out of your hands saying "THIS IS TOO DIRTY FOR YOU TO SEE AT YOUR AGE!"
 
2012-12-02 06:30:49 PM  

LewDux: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 450x600]: Jews

GAT_00 did it
 
HBK
2012-12-02 06:33:41 PM  

safeinsane: I learned quite a bit when I managed a Walmart photo lab, like:

- People like taking pictures of their junk (and I don't mean their messy houses)
- Chances are someone, somewhere will see even your most "private" photos if you decide to have them printed outside your home

Keep in mind that this was in the days before digital photography so...there you go.


Before digital cameras, a good party prank was to take a picture of your junk with a camera somebody left laying around. Then when they get the pictures developed... BAM, random dick. I learned about that one in 8th grade.

Nowadays people have digital cameras, so it's not so funny.
 
2012-12-02 06:38:30 PM  

HBK: safeinsane: I learned quite a bit when I managed a Walmart photo lab, like:

- People like taking pictures of their junk (and I don't mean their messy houses)
- Chances are someone, somewhere will see even your most "private" photos if you decide to have them printed outside your home

Keep in mind that this was in the days before digital photography so...there you go.

Before digital cameras, a good party prank was to take a picture of your junk with a camera somebody left laying around. Then when they get the pictures developed... BAM, random dick. I learned about that one in 8th grade.

Nowadays people have digital cameras, so it's not so funny.


Best King of Queens episode ever - Doug uses the disposable camera at friend's wedding to take "penis with top hat" photo.
 
ecl
2012-12-02 06:38:36 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn , Duuuuhuhuhuh, and GGGRRRRRrrrrrr wish you a happy Holiday!


1.bp.blogspot.com

God. Damn.

3.bp.blogspot.com

Who here wasn't raped by a clown(s) and/or Santa(s)?

1.bp.blogspot.com

Welcome to fark.
 
2012-12-02 06:52:37 PM  
Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 


Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 

www.joeydevilla.com
 
2012-12-02 06:56:05 PM  
Xxxx



Xxxx

dlisted.com
 
2012-12-02 06:58:47 PM  
Another Cringley

Another Cringley


www.cringely.com
 
2012-12-02 07:08:34 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

They have got to be aliens attempting to act human.
 
2012-12-02 07:16:37 PM  
Why not post all the pics from the site you stole them from?

Link
 
2012-12-02 07:27:03 PM  
farm9.staticflickr.com

The one on the right is showing signs of crazy eyes already.
 
2012-12-02 07:32:42 PM  

FunkOut: [3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x334]

They have got to be aliens attempting to act human.


No, that's just how it was in the 70's.
 
2012-12-02 07:36:33 PM  
Hey, modmins, thanks for green lighting a link to content stolen from another website. That's pretty swell.

/sigh
//at least they wrote new captions, I guess.
 
2012-12-02 07:39:35 PM  

HempHead: Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 


Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 

[www.joeydevilla.com image 600x904]


Great now I have to smash my HDD with a hammer before the FBI shows up.
 
2012-12-02 07:47:01 PM  
www.thepublicityfirm.com
/ours from last year.
 
2012-12-02 07:52:14 PM  

cleofus: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 414x600] 

Screw the balloon willy, what about the blood spatters on the wall and on Santa's right glove?


The last child must have been "naughty".
 
2012-12-02 07:55:50 PM  
People are insanely stupid.
 
2012-12-02 07:59:59 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2012-12-02 08:07:31 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com

I want this hat. Go, Granny!
 
2012-12-02 08:14:20 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: I always have that fantasy that one day I'll win the lottery and take one of the ancient designed churches here with the small congregation and turn it into my own personal Goth club, but it's only a dream to keep me going. :)


You say it's "just" a dream, but if you really want it: Everything you do from now on should be with that goal in mind. Think of one thing you can do tomorrow toward making it happen, and do it. Do that every day, and someday, people might have a cool place to go, because of you.
 
2012-12-02 08:15:21 PM  

gerbilpox: whidbey: What, no Mike Huckabee Family Christmas Photos?

[gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net image 374x301]

Stripes are slimming!

/so they're even bigger


The elbow patches really make that shirt pop!
 
2012-12-02 08:15:48 PM  

Spanky McStupid: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 500x332]

I want this hat. Go, Granny!


GO GO GADGET GRANNY!
images3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-12-02 08:24:24 PM  

100 Watt Walrus: [i.imgur.com image 600x450]


i.imgur.com



She was a virgin when they got the dog.
 
HBK
2012-12-02 08:28:20 PM  

brianbankerus: [www.thepublicityfirm.com image 600x665]
/ours from last year.


Is it supposed to be a family of Borats and a baby Hitler?
 
HBK
2012-12-02 08:29:11 PM  

HempHead: Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~


Momma's got some nice cans.
 
2012-12-02 08:33:45 PM  
I'm not saying which picture, but I know some of those people.
 
2012-12-02 08:35:33 PM  

dwade: HempHead: Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 


Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 

[www.joeydevilla.com image 600x904]

Great now I have to smash my HDD with a hammer before the FBI shows up.


Here is Cringely's story of how FedEx Kinkos wouldn't print that photo on his Xmas card:

Link
 
2012-12-02 08:43:40 PM  

HempHead: Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~


When I'd only scrolled enough to see the top half, I thought "Mmmm, nice sideboob."

i.imgur.com

But then I scrolled down further and saw it all...


/"Mmmm, nice sidebutt."
 
2012-12-02 08:45:19 PM  

HBK: Is it supposed to be a family of Borats and a baby Hitler?


Yep. That's what we were going for.
 
2012-12-02 08:47:23 PM  

HempHead: dwade: HempHead: Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 


Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 

[www.joeydevilla.com image 600x904]

Great now I have to smash my HDD with a hammer before the FBI shows up.

Here is Cringely's story of how FedEx Kinkos wouldn't print that photo on his Xmas card:

Link


Well, gee, I wonder why some company would have issues printing out pics of naked boys.

He's lucky they didn't print them...and then call the cops on him, like Walmart and other companies have done.
 
2012-12-02 08:48:24 PM  
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net
 
2012-12-02 08:56:06 PM  

safeinsane: I learned quite a bit when I managed a Walmart photo lab, like:

- Sunsets all look the same
- Crossdressers are who you least expect
- People like taking pictures of their junk (and I don't mean their messy houses)
- Clowns are extremely miserable people
- Taking photos of the Las Vegas Strip at night through your windshield is an awful idea
- People have no idea how to read negative numbers (or file names for that matter)
- Chances are someone, somewhere will see even your most "private" photos if you decide to have them printed outside your home

Keep in mind that this was in the days before digital photography so...there you go.


Heh, I managed a Walmart photo too. *high five* I found any roll of film of a group of girls will include at least or Charlie's Angels pose.
 
HBK
2012-12-02 09:07:43 PM  

brianbankerus: HBK: Is it supposed to be a family of Borats and a baby Hitler?

Yep. That's what we were going for.


VERY NICE!!!!!
 
2012-12-02 09:23:19 PM  

Hobodeluxe: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 457x500]


Now that is a perfect example of the spirit of Christmas.
 
2012-12-02 09:28:00 PM  

HempHead: dwade: HempHead: Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 


Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 

[www.joeydevilla.com image 600x904]

Great now I have to smash my HDD with a hammer before the FBI shows up.

Here is Cringely's story of how FedEx Kinkos wouldn't print that photo on his Xmas card:

Link


I can't help but wonder if the naked-card phenomenon is at all related to the naked-protester and naked-criminal phenomena.
 
2012-12-02 09:43:26 PM  
i.imgur.com 

I love this thread so much.
 
2012-12-02 10:07:55 PM  
Pics? So much fail.

Thread? So much win.

/It's getting all merry up in this place.
 
2012-12-02 10:14:51 PM  
Best link and thread of the year...I am in tears with laughter. At humanity, no less.
 
2012-12-02 10:40:49 PM  
artsyswag.com
 
2012-12-02 10:42:40 PM  
artsyswag.com
 
2012-12-02 10:54:26 PM  

Seth'n'Spectrum: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 500x393]

Is that a Hannah Anderson catalog picture?


I was wondering the name of the 16-year-old boy that dad married.
 
2012-12-02 10:57:57 PM  

Hobodeluxe: [artsyswag.com image 457x600]


artsyswag.com

[L to R] A hipster, Dana Carvey, and late-70s teenager.

/did I get it right?
 
2012-12-02 11:07:54 PM  

Towall: whidbey: What, no Mike Huckabee Family Christmas Photos?



I mean, they had to have gotten them at Wal-Mart. It's one of those Major Dad things.

Which one is the animal torturer?


Yeah, I was wondering that too... Whole family seems bizarre.
 
2012-12-02 11:56:25 PM  

basemetal: trigger


Great minds, etc.
 
2012-12-02 11:57:23 PM  

Berz: basemetal: trigger

Great minds, etc.


Not fully quoting someone et
 
2012-12-03 01:34:48 AM  

Wayne 985: Towall: whidbey: What, no Mike Huckabee Family Christmas Photos?



I mean, they had to have gotten them at Wal-Mart. It's one of those Major Dad things.

Which one is the animal torturer?

Yeah, I was wondering that too... Whole family seems bizarre.


I am pretty sure its the middle one.
 
2012-12-03 02:47:48 AM  
Shiat! Our family is looking pretty naked in this year's card.... a pool shot taken in Mallorca. We are in the water...
 
2012-12-03 05:17:38 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2012-12-03 06:07:58 AM  
This is why Jerry Springer never runs out of dim wits.
 
2012-12-03 06:11:42 AM  
What really scares me is that some of these people have procreated, and they're allowed to vote
 
2012-12-03 07:17:33 AM  

Hobodeluxe: [artsyswag.com image 425x640]


That's gotta be one of the creepiest things I've ever seen.

Is that an oxygen line?
 
2012-12-03 08:06:44 AM  

DarkSoulNoHope: unfarkingbelievable: DarkSoulNoHope: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 353x432]

What I always wanted to do in my early 'mall goth/babybat stage'.

/now that I am older and wiser, I still want to do that!
//I will even trade hats. I get the red hat, he gets my yarmukle!

I used to live in Monmouth County. Do you honestly have any business? It's rich and conservative. How do you survive with your goth DJ business?

I get business by heading to the places that aren't so boringly conservative like Newark and New York City (currently working to get gigs in Philadelphia). Mainly surviving due to day jobs. The only place that isn't a Conservative hellhole is Asbury Park, unfortunately for me it's also a Hipster hellhole. (The Saint only does live shows, Asbury Lanes has been a hipster/rockabilly paradise since 2003, and the yuppified boardwalk isn't much help either!) I always have that fantasy that one day I'll win the lottery and take one of the ancient designed churches here with the small congregation and turn it into my own personal Goth club, but it's only a dream to keep me going. :)


Wow, good for you. How about New Brunswick? Is that a good area for you? I visited your website and I think you have a great niche because it is a culture you totally believe in, and it's pretty vibrant. Your idea is a good one if done right. I can see it. Best of luck!
 
2012-12-03 10:19:56 AM  
These exact pictures (same order and everything) were sent to me 4 days ago in one of those 'forward to all' emails my parents like to send. Some lazy asshat decided to make it into an article.

News? more like olds ...
 
2012-12-03 10:33:43 AM  

HempHead:
Robert Cringeley's Xmas card~ 

[www.joeydevilla.com image 600x904]


The creepiest part is that dad seems to be staring at the son's package.
 
2012-12-03 11:01:41 AM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Hobodeluxe: [artsyswag.com image 457x600]

[artsyswag.com image 457x600]

[L to R] A hipster, Joel from MST3k, and late-70s teenager.

/did I get it right?


FTFY...
 
2012-12-03 11:18:30 AM  

unfarkingbelievable: DarkSoulNoHope: unfarkingbelievable: DarkSoulNoHope: [4.bp.blogspot.com image 353x432]

What I always wanted to do in my early 'mall goth/babybat stage'.

/now that I am older and wiser, I still want to do that!
//I will even trade hats. I get the red hat, he gets my yarmukle!

I used to live in Monmouth County. Do you honestly have any business? It's rich and conservative. How do you survive with your goth DJ business?

I get business by heading to the places that aren't so boringly conservative like Newark and New York City (currently working to get gigs in Philadelphia). Mainly surviving due to day jobs. The only place that isn't a Conservative hellhole is Asbury Park, unfortunately for me it's also a Hipster hellhole. (The Saint only does live shows, Asbury Lanes has been a hipster/rockabilly paradise since 2003, and the yuppified boardwalk isn't much help either!) I always have that fantasy that one day I'll win the lottery and take one of the ancient designed churches here with the small congregation and turn it into my own personal Goth club, but it's only a dream to keep me going. :)

Wow, good for you. How about New Brunswick? Is that a good area for you? I visited your website and I think you have a great niche because it is a culture you totally believe in, and it's pretty vibrant. Your idea is a good one if done right. I can see it. Best of luck!


Problem about "doing it right" is that I am pretty set in my ways, though I do break out many songs that would be different than what I would want to play, in order to get more people on the dance floor. The subculture I ascribe myself to has changed from what I would have enjoyed it as from the late 70s to the late 90s. (I say "would have" as I started out in the scene in the year 2000, just a year after graduating high school. Yes, *after* high school, which means it wasn't a rebellious fad for me, though I was still "weird" in high school! lol) Mainly the scene these days is more electronic oriented, run by people who have tubes in their hair (and are most likely on Ecstasy when they're dancing!) and they're usually the last ones who would hire a guy to DJ for them that would play Bauhaus, Siouxsie and the Banshees, London After Midnight, and others of similar style. So for a guy like me to function, I have to find places that either are part of my niche of "Old School Goth" or are willing to have a side room for that style that would cater to guys like me. It's not impossible, but difficult, and of course I do not yet have the funding to create a night of my own yet.

As for New Brunswick, I'll have to secure funding somehow and at the same time try to find some way to figure out if Goths are willing to come to a club from Rutgers (and other places) to listen to my style of music (or somehow able to get multiple DJs including myself in the same club) and which places in NB are willing to host a night like that. It's a long shot, but worth a shot!

To MadAzza I am working to get a more decent job that would pay enough that I might be able to fulfill that dream. Hopefully it will work out, if not, I'll just do the same as I always do. But if you're enthusiastic about it as I am and somehow win the lottery (or are already wealthy with so much money you don't know what to do with some of it!), give some of those winnings to me and I'll be able to fulfill my dream alot quicker and have you come in as the star who made it happen! ;-)
 
2012-12-03 11:51:19 AM  

DarkSoulNoHope: To MadAzza I am working to get a more decent job that would pay enough that I might be able to fulfill that dream. Hopefully it will work out, if not, I'll just do the same as I always do. But if you're enthusiastic about it as I am and somehow win the lottery (or are already wealthy with so much money you don't know what to do with some of it!), give some of those winnings to me and I'll be able to fulfill my dream alot quicker and have you come in as the star who made it happen! ;-)


Sounds like a deal! I'm still recovering from being laid off a couple of years ago, so no wealth here to speak of, but I'd back you at least a little, if I could.
It sounds like what you're doing isn't really my scene, although I certainly don't hate it or anything (I'm just ancient), but it sounds really cool. And we need more of as many creative endeavors as we can get.
You've got my support as much as a stranger on the Internet can give it. What you're already doing sounds fantastic. Best of luck.
 
2012-12-03 12:55:49 PM  

cleofus: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 414x600] 

Screw the balloon willy, what about the blood spatters on the wall and on Santa's right glove?


He also plays Chief Slapaho in the towns Thanksgiving play.
 
2012-12-03 02:00:35 PM  

Day_Old_Dutchie: JohnCarter: [i.telegraph.co.uk image 460x288]

When I think of Christmas, nothing like scantily kids...(definitely scary)

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 456x600]

YATTA!!!


Equals 3 reference?
 
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