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(The Raw Story)   Director of American Family Association says not using oil is "enormously insensitive" and "hurts God's feelings." Wonder what he got Jesus for his birthday this year   (rawstory.com) divider line 217
    More: Dumbass, Bryan Fischer, American Family Association, god, family association, celebrations  
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4394 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Dec 2012 at 5:45 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-12-01 10:06:19 AM
The AFA really should look for a new deity to worship that does not have the temperament of a petulant teenage goth girl.
 
2012-12-01 10:18:51 AM
The more people talk about how whiney and immature God is, the more attractive Satan looks. No one talks about Satan being an egotistical crybaby. He's out having fun.
 
2012-12-01 10:28:21 AM
That is the stupidest thing I've heard Bryan Fischer say since the last time I read something he said.
 
2012-12-01 10:31:58 AM

ToxicMunkee: The more people talk about how whiney and immature God is, the more attractive Satan looks. No one talks about Satan being an egotistical crybaby. He's out having fun.

 

t.qkme.me
 
2012-12-01 10:39:26 AM
Further evidence organised religion is the best tool the oligarchy has.

I really wish there was a god who sent angels down to smite asshats like this.
 
2012-12-01 10:40:31 AM
I think I just lost a few brain cells watching that.
 
2012-12-01 10:54:31 AM
I wonder how he feels about "God's" marijuana. Is he insulted when we don't use that, too?
 
2012-12-01 11:02:36 AM
In that game of "who's in bed with who?", this has to be a big, big, clue.
 
2012-12-01 11:11:15 AM
Further proof that god is like an arsehole who puts a gift inside 20 boxes all wrapped up with duct tape and thinks he's being clever..
 
2012-12-01 11:20:04 AM

dickfreckle: I wonder how he feels about "God's" marijuana. Is he insulted when we don't use that, too?


I am honoring God right now by using his psychodelic mushrooms hump donkey dipstick hip hugger badger spit banana bread praise Jesus foot odor flu paper.
 
2012-12-01 11:36:25 AM

This About That: In that game of "who's in bed with who?", this has to be a big, big, clue.


A Christian "family" organization that is really just a money dump? Say it isn't so! Oh dear, the supposed majority of Christians who fundamentally oppose this kind of thing but are somehow nowhere to be found will be quite sad about this.
 
2012-12-01 12:10:29 PM
Is black lung a present from God too?
 
2012-12-01 12:11:31 PM

GAT_00: This About That: In that game of "who's in bed with who?", this has to be a big, big, clue.

A Christian "family" organization that is really just a money dump? Say it isn't so! Oh dear, the supposed majority of Christians who fundamentally oppose this kind of thing but are somehow nowhere to be found will be quite sad about this.


As per the OT, humans were given stewardship of the planet. We aren't living up to that very well.
 
2012-12-01 12:16:59 PM
Aww, was God's pwecious widdle fweewings hurt? Hey God....your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. I blow my nose at you, so-called "Omnipresent, omnipotent being", you and all your silly Christian followers.
 
2012-12-01 12:17:18 PM

simplicimus: GAT_00: This About That: In that game of "who's in bed with who?", this has to be a big, big, clue.

A Christian "family" organization that is really just a money dump? Say it isn't so! Oh dear, the supposed majority of Christians who fundamentally oppose this kind of thing but are somehow nowhere to be found will be quite sad about this.

As per the OT, humans were given stewardship of the planet. We aren't living up to that very well.


I always liked that kind of logic. God made everything and everyone. We are who God made us. So we should kill the gays because they're evil. It's how God would want it.
 
2012-12-01 12:22:23 PM

GAT_00: simplicimus: GAT_00: This About That: In that game of "who's in bed with who?", this has to be a big, big, clue.

A Christian "family" organization that is really just a money dump? Say it isn't so! Oh dear, the supposed majority of Christians who fundamentally oppose this kind of thing but are somehow nowhere to be found will be quite sad about this.

As per the OT, humans were given stewardship of the planet. We aren't living up to that very well.

I always liked that kind of logic. God made everything and everyone. We are who God made us. So we should kill the gays because they're evil. It's how God would want it.


God made gays, too. Who are we to interfere with God's wishes?
 
2012-12-01 12:23:57 PM
I'm still laughing.
 
2012-12-01 12:25:36 PM

simplicimus: GAT_00: simplicimus: GAT_00: This About That: In that game of "who's in bed with who?", this has to be a big, big, clue.

A Christian "family" organization that is really just a money dump? Say it isn't so! Oh dear, the supposed majority of Christians who fundamentally oppose this kind of thing but are somehow nowhere to be found will be quite sad about this.

As per the OT, humans were given stewardship of the planet. We aren't living up to that very well.

I always liked that kind of logic. God made everything and everyone. We are who God made us. So we should kill the gays because they're evil. It's how God would want it.

God made gays, too. Who are we to interfere with God's wishes?


So it makes God sad when we don't have hot gay sex with the gay men he made?

Lack of hot girl on girl action makes me and God sad!
 
2012-12-01 12:26:00 PM

Apos: I'm still laughing.


At?
 
2012-12-01 12:29:39 PM

simplicimus: Apos: I'm still laughing.

At?


Just how petulant Mr. Fischer sounds. I didn't even bother watching the embedded vid; the article was more than enough.
 
2012-12-01 12:38:10 PM
If God loves America bestest of all, and God wants us to use oil, why did He bury it all over in Muslinland?

If this asspipe is right I shouldn't be able to cut my grass on the lowest mower deck setting without triggering a geyser of unleaded premium.
 
2012-12-01 01:02:22 PM
God has some pretty dainty feelings. Man the fark up, dude.
 
2012-12-01 01:05:16 PM

BSABSVR: God has some pretty dainty feelings. Man the fark up, dude.


Well, He got a lot less pissy after He had his Son killed.
 
2012-12-01 01:11:38 PM
Mah, and here I thought the Earth was the gift and by polluting the air and seas while draining it of it's resources to make a profit was hurting God's feelings.

I guess I'm the asshole.
 
2012-12-01 01:15:44 PM
"I opened up a birthday present that I didn't like, and I said it right out, 'Oh, I don't like those,'" the radio host recalled. "And it just crushed - and the person that gave me gift was there. You know, I just kind of blurted it out, 'I don't like those.' And it just crushed that person. It was enormously insensitive of me to do that."

"And you think, that's kind of how we're treating God when he's given us these gifts of abundant and inexpensive and effective fuel sources," Fischer added. "And we don't thank him for it and we don't use it."


So God is kind of like an overly-sensitive aunt who is heartbroken that you don't like the pajamas she picked out just for you?

encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Bryan Fisher, your God sucks ass.
 
2012-12-01 01:17:18 PM
This arsehole has to believe that God's as big of a pathetic, ignorant, hate-filled, self-loathing closet case as he himself is, else he'd kill himself from pure chagrin.

And as to why God put the oil in the Muslin countries:

1. It shows that God wants us to bomb the shiat outta them there brown people
2. It's a test. For idiots like this ANY question that might involve thinking critically is a test.
 
2012-12-01 01:23:53 PM
i915.photobucket.com
 
2012-12-01 01:25:05 PM

Bathia_Mapes: Is black lung a present from God too?


Only legitimate black lung.
 
2012-12-01 01:45:03 PM
Can God ingest poison ivy tea so concentrated that he has no trouble when the oil hits his anus?
 
2012-12-01 01:47:24 PM

Therion: Can God ingest poison ivy tea so concentrated that he has no trouble when the oil hits his anus?


images.sodahead.com
 
2012-12-01 02:02:07 PM
Can god get into a funk so deep that only he can lift it?
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2012-12-01 02:06:43 PM

dickfreckle: I wonder how he feels about "God's" marijuana. Is he insulted when we don't use that, too?


I'll bet he's using God's rent-boys on the sly.
 
2012-12-01 02:27:02 PM
Wow, that is like drilling into a whole new strata of derptitude.

Any Fark right wingers want to defend this?
 
2012-12-01 02:36:02 PM
Ummmmm, I think I see a problem here....

""The wicked and lazy master was the one who buried his talent in the ground and didn't do anything to multiply it," Beisner explained. "That's essentially what those who say we need to stop using oil, coal and natural gas are telling us to do. Just leave those resources buried in the ground, rather than pulling them out and multiplying their value for human benefit.""

If the oil was the buried 'talent', doesn't that make God the wicked and lazy master?
 
2012-12-01 02:42:33 PM
So, will his minions be emailing the DoE to fine companies who make solar panels for "insensitivity"?
 
2012-12-01 02:48:08 PM
Imma start spitting on anyone who has a V6 or smaller and call them Jesus-haters.
 
2012-12-01 03:04:49 PM
I think we should all follow the lead of the Southern Poverty Law Center and start thinking of the "American Family Association" the same way we think of the KKK and the Aryan Nation. The fact that these scumbags have any political influence at all and aren't just putting out crudely mimeographed hate screeds like those other groups shows how farked up our political landscape is.
 
2012-12-01 03:18:58 PM

OtherLittleGuy: So, will his minions be emailing the DoE to fine companies who make solar panels for "insensitivity"?


Exactly, because God didn't make the sun or wind, just oil and coal.

/You can't explain that.
 
2012-12-01 03:24:21 PM
FTA: "And you think, that's kind of how we're treating God when he's given us these gifts of abundant and inexpensive and effective fuel sources," Fischer added. "And we don't thank him for it and we don't use it."

Our civilization has plowed through half of the available oil in just over a century. This sounds like a good time to start appreciating the energy sources that don't involve consumption of fossil fuels. Otherwise we come off looking like addicts, and I'm sure God doesn't want to think of us that way...
 
2012-12-01 03:30:32 PM
www.graphicdesignforums.co.uk

Oh brave new world that has such idiots in it
 
2012-12-01 03:38:58 PM
So, how does burning fossil fuels "multiply" them?
 
2012-12-01 03:47:05 PM
Director of the AFA said what now?

*click*

Yeesh.

Well in a weird sort of way this story makes nothing but sense. By which I mean the two indisputable truths about the GOP are A) The GOP are *the* theocratic wing of American politics and B) The GOP are now and have been for generations Big Oil's (Coal, etc) biatch. So looked at from that perspective a preacher man from the AFA equating appeasing God with appeasing Big Oil makes a certain, sad, sick, inevitable sense.

His entire point is utter nonsense, of course, just saying I can see how this happened.
 
2012-12-01 03:48:08 PM

abb3w: So, how does burning fossil fuels "multiply" them?


If we burned them faster then God would see how much we love oil, and Him. Seeing us express our love of Him through oil consumption, he will aid us by creating new dinosaurs, killing them, then making them appear millions of years older than they really are by burying them underground in the form of oil.

It's so simple, I don't see how you libtards can't understand.
 
2012-12-01 03:48:53 PM

jake_lex: I think we should all follow the lead of the Southern Poverty Law Center and start thinking of the "American Family Association" the same way we think of the KKK and the Aryan Nation. The fact that these scumbags have any political influence at all and aren't just putting out crudely mimeographed hate screeds like those other groups shows how farked up our political landscape is.


Until/unless we completely divest ourselves of the ludicrous notion that "your beliefs are as relevant as my facts", this will not happen.
 
2012-12-01 03:58:17 PM
How long until someone discovers that he has a Prius?
 
2012-12-01 03:59:46 PM

themindiswatching: How long until someone discovers that he has a Prius?



Hah! +1
 
2012-12-01 04:05:35 PM

simplicimus: Well, He got a lot less pissy after He had his Son killed.


God saw his psychiatrist and got on some lithium. He's better now.

simplicimus: Tupelo? Isn't that where Elvis was born? And where the floating casino decided to float away?


Born there, but moved to Memphis where his career rocketed off. And where he died on his throne. The funny thing is, the Presley family up until the late 80s paid the Firefighters and Paramedics on Memphis Fire that came to his house the night he died a yearly stipend to keep them from selling their stories to the media.

As for the floating casino, I dunno. Sounds like some crap that would go down in Tunica. You can only have casinos in Mississippi on rivers or large bodies of water, so they build the big hotels and everything on the shore, and have the gambling on a barge tethered to the shore.
 
2012-12-01 04:07:12 PM

Mr. Coffee Nerves: If God loves America bestest of all, and God wants us to use oil, why did He bury it all over in Muslinland?

If this asspipe is right I shouldn't be able to cut my grass on the lowest mower deck setting without triggering a geyser of unleaded premium.


Holy crap! If its all in Muslimland that means Allah is better than Yeweh, God and The trinity!

Convert! Convert!
 
2012-12-01 04:09:46 PM
C'mon guys. It's not nice making fun of people with mental disabilities.
 
2012-12-01 04:11:46 PM

Godscrack: C'mon guys. It's not nice making fun of people with mental disabilities.


You need to be more specific. That statement covers most of Fark.
 
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