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(WZZM 13 Grand Rapids)   It's that time of year again...Top 100 baby names of 2012 released. (Bonus: All on one page)   (wzzm13.com) divider line 26
    More: Interesting, baby names, Rochester Hills, Babycenter  
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11820 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2012 at 11:30 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-30 11:36:34 PM  
8 votes:

Coco LaFemme: No Adam in the Top 50? That's kind of surprising. My boyfriend and I are really boring, milquetoast people so if we ever have kids, they're going to have really traditional, boring Jewish names. We flipped a coin on who got to name the kids, heads it was me, tails it was him....and it came up tails.


Him is a lovely first name. Congratulations.
2012-11-30 08:57:53 PM  
8 votes:
I've annotated the first fifty. If I've offended you by making fun of your son's name, or your name, that was pretty much the point. I'll try to get the first fifty girls names done too.


1. Aiden
Give me a farking break. Number one is this mess?

2. Jackson
This is a last name.

3. Ethan
Tom Cruise character

4. Liam
Wouldn't be on chart without Neeson

5. Mason
This is a jar, not a first name.

6. Noah
Hi, my son is named after a drunk boat builder whose daughters got him drunk and farked him.

7. Lucas
This is a last name.

8. Jacob
OK, fine.

9. Jayden
what

10. Jack
This is the nickname for John. It's not a name.

11. Logan
Only OK if your son is never, ever a runner.

12. Ryan
Why? Jack Ryan? Ryan Seacrest? Why, people?

13. Caleb
You're not Irish. Why are you trying to be Irish?

14. Benjamin
OK. Tends to be a set up for an "all about" joke, but whatever.

15. William
Number fifteen, we finally get our first fairly traditional name.

16. Michael
And again, traditional name.

17. Alexander
Unless you're expecting extraordinary things from this boy, shy away from this name.

18. Elijah
Will go bald early, cause 42 children to be torn to pieces by bears after they tease him.

19. Matthew
Nice biblical name. Also, along with Michael, a name that has been associated with gay friends more often than any other names on this list. NTTAWWT.

20. Dylan
Last name. If you must do this to your boy, please teach him to speak in poetic mumbles.

21. James
Only works with Tiberius.

22. Owen
Heeeeeeeee....Hawwwwwww!

23. Connor
There should be only one. But it's 23rd.

24. Brayden
Go fark yourselves.

25. Carter
If named after the president, OK. If named after the ER character, meh. If named after the Backstreet Boy, shame.

26. Landon
If named after Alf, good on ya. If named after Michael, please go live in a little house on a prairie.

27. Joshua
I have never known a good person named Joshua. I imagine there are statistically people out there named Joshua who weren't assholes, but I've not met one.

28. Luke
If you must go Biblical, OK. If named after Mr. Perry, go maim yourself.

29. Daniel
I named my son this one. So it's OK.

30. Gabriel
If named after Peter, OK. If named after Mr. Kotter, even more so. If named after the archangel, your son will truly be a hellion by age 3.

31. Nicholas
Son will always be Romanoff.

32. Nathan
Really? A hot dog?

33. Oliver
Make his middle name "Clothesoff" and you have a deal.

34. Henry
Old fashioned, vaguely scary. Might not only marry once.

35. Andrew
Fairly normal name unless you live in South Florida.

36. Gavin
Only if you have a Love Boat fetish and wanted the captain really bad.

37. Cameron
It's a last name, or the name of a Terminatrix. As a last name, it's the name of a seriously douchey fundamentalist. Don't.

38. Eli
Only if you're Jewish. Only.

39. Max
Dog name. Only acceptable if you have another son named Min.

40. Isaac
Again, only if you were really into the Love Boat

41. Evan
Will be odd.

42. Samuel
OK bible name, but if he gets nicknamed Sammy, bad things may occur to him.

43. Grayson
No. Just no. I don't care how much you like the congressman from Central Florida.

44. Tyler
Only if first child was named Tippecanoe

45. Zachary
He'll be called "Zack", which sounds a bit too informal and a touch lacking in respect.

46. Wyatt
If there is any humor in the world, he will be nicknamed "Derp"

47. Joseph
Blah blah dreamcoat.

48. Charlie
OK, if a bit old. People who know about the unicorn videos may get a weirdly high level of amusement from your kid's name.

49. Hunter
Last name. Description. Not a first name

50. David
And fairly normal to round out the fifty.
2012-11-30 11:56:09 PM  
7 votes:

Mugato: No black girl's names? That's where the comedy lies.


o.onionstatic.com

/oblig
2012-11-30 10:55:14 PM  
5 votes:
I knew this guy whose cousin's friend knew a girl who named her twins Lamonjelo and Oranjelo. Get it? Crazy stuff. And there was this other woman I heard about from this guy I know whose friend works in the hospital who knew a doctor who delivered a baby to a woman who named her daughter Chlamydia because she saw it on a poster and thought it sounded pretty. Chlamydia, ha! Next you know someone will be naming their kid Herpes.
2012-11-30 10:49:44 PM  
3 votes:
Thank goodness only white kids are being born.
2012-11-30 09:31:31 PM  
3 votes:
51. dahmers love zombie
Has WAY too much times on his hands.
2012-12-01 02:05:57 AM  
2 votes:
My dog's name is "Cateylinneishia". Pronounced "Fido."
2012-12-01 12:20:55 AM  
2 votes:

thisispete: Hiliarius is just awful.


I have a vewwy good fwiend in Wome named Hiwawious...

costumenetwork.com
2012-12-01 12:20:50 AM  
2 votes:
So how popular a name is 'Thrust Hipcrusher, devourer of virgins?' I wouldn't want my kid to have to use a nickname at preschool.
2012-12-01 08:36:53 AM  
1 votes:

Mugato: No black girl's names? That's where the comedy lies.


Checked list for a Boniva, Lunesta, or a Valtrexia leaving disappointed.


/ I will name my son Completrius and he will be a NFL wide reciever.
2012-12-01 03:56:12 AM  
1 votes:

Paleorific: Aiden, for some reason that name just bugs the hell out of me, it sounds awful to the ear.


Don't know why Aiden makes me think of AIDS like hanging out with Aiden might Aidsen you.
2012-12-01 02:58:14 AM  
1 votes:
Hey, Mckenna as a girl's name:

Your parents named you "son of kenna."
2012-12-01 02:45:10 AM  
1 votes:
If you really want your child's name to stand out from the pack in the next 20 years, here's a list.

Steven
Mary
James
John
Robert
Margaret
Sally
William
Paula
Lisa
Arthur
Daniel
Paul
Evelyn
Melinda
Susan
Richard


Ta da.
2012-12-01 02:19:01 AM  
1 votes:

Tenatra: bunner: My dog's name is "Cateylinneishia". Pronounced "Fido."

My dad's friend named his dog "Deeohgee" and his cat "Seeaytee"


And, yeah, with domesticated animals, that's sort of cute. It makes your kids look like their raison 'd etre is to be a private joke for their parents, though
2012-12-01 02:15:24 AM  
1 votes:

bunner: My dog's name is "Cateylinneishia". Pronounced "Fido."


My dad's friend named his dog "Deeohgee" and his cat "Seeaytee"
2012-12-01 01:59:49 AM  
1 votes:
Just put "gh" in every syllable.

Saghmaghnthaugh
Eighlighzaghbeghth
Kaghtheighrighne
etc.
2012-12-01 01:33:41 AM  
1 votes:
From Wiki:

Historically, only the spellings Caitlín and Caitlin (anglicised) were used. In the 1970s, however, people began pronouncing the name as kayt-lin, which led to numerous variations in spelling, including (in alphabetical order): Caitlan, Caitlin, Caitlyn, Caitlynn, Caittlyn, Catelyn, Catlyn, Caytelyn, Caytlin, Kaetlynn, Kaitlin, Kaitlyn, Kaitlyne, Kaitlynn, Katelin, Katelyn, Katelynn, Kate Lynn, Katlin, Katlyn, Katlynne, Kaytelin, Kaytelinn, Kaytlynn, and Quatlin.

Quatlin? Jesus farking Christ. 

If you want to call your daughter Kathleen, call her farking Kathleen.
2012-12-01 01:20:49 AM  
1 votes:
I take it "Weedlord" didn't make the cut?
2012-12-01 12:33:53 AM  
1 votes:
/checks the list to see where "Bella" ends up..
//#4. Good Job, Twitards.
2012-12-01 12:16:17 AM  
1 votes:

laid back w/bud light: I named my daughter Kaitlyn 11 years ago and she's the most loving polite girl you could ever meet. Of course it wasn't popular back then either.


Kaitlyn reached peak popularity (AKA peak annoying) 11 years ago

Link
2012-11-30 11:58:35 PM  
1 votes:

Obscure Login: Pocket Ninja: I knew this guy whose cousin's friend knew a girl who named her twins Lamonjelo and Oranjelo. Get it? Crazy stuff. And there was this other woman I heard about from this guy I know whose friend works in the hospital who knew a doctor who delivered a baby to a woman who named her daughter Chlamydia because she saw it on a poster and thought it sounded pretty. Chlamydia, ha! Next you know someone will be naming their kid Herpes.

My sister's friend's brother knew this guy who was a teacher. So this guy was going through the new class attendance and came across "Le-ah" so he pronounced her name "lee uh". Now here's where it gets wild, the girl corrects him and says her name is pronounced "Le dash ah". Le dash ah! Can you believe it?!?


No, no you missed the best part, she said "The dash don't be silent!" It's important to retell our racist urban legends the right way.
2012-11-30 11:56:11 PM  
1 votes:

pck: 51. dahmers love zombie



LOLOLOLOLOL Thanks!!! But what if Nathan was named after Nate Silver, not Nathan's hot dogs. Just to underline that the ridiculous names need more ridicule.
2012-11-30 11:52:25 PM  
1 votes:
Nice list dahmer's love zombie, but I thought it was Lot who had his daughters get him drunk and pork him, not Noah.

Lot seems like a pretty cool name. Sounds like a good name for one of those badass angels who come down to earth and wear trenchcoats and shoot up demons in a post apocalyptic urban landscape while trying to save the last straggling masses of humanity . And who are played by Denzel Washington in the movie which isn't quite as good as the comic book it's based on but a whole hell of a lot better than the crappy video game tie in that was slapped together in the three months before the movie's opening.

...I need sleep.......
2012-11-30 11:34:49 PM  
1 votes:

Mugato: No black girl's names? That's where the comedy lies.


Too many different spelling for any one to make the list.
2012-11-30 08:46:51 PM  
1 votes:
No black girl's names? That's where the comedy lies.
2012-11-30 08:34:34 PM  
1 votes:
not as ridiculous as i thought it would be. i have hope.
 
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