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(Coed Magazine)   So you didn't win the Powerball jackpot. At least you aren't one of these losers who actually won the lottery   (coedmagazine.com) divider line 145
    More: Sad, Powerball, Erick Dampier, substance dependence  
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17068 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2012 at 8:54 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-30 09:29:08 PM

Transubstantive: Three-Fifty: Popcorn Johnny: The couple in Missouri that won are absolute farking idiots for agreeing to attend a press conference to claim their giant check.

OMG! THIS!!!! With no disguises?? Using both of their legal names? And they had their 6 year old daughter at the press conference!!! Hello?? Not afraid of kidnappers wanting ransoms??

e


True - but if I won and *had* to go on TV/take pics (if I could not claim it through a trust and lawyers) you'd better believe I'd be wearing a wig, false teeth, garish makeup, etc. And I would change my rather common name (which is a bit of a protection in itself) immediately.
 
2012-11-30 09:30:20 PM
#1 Hire an attorney.
#2 Hire an accountant
#3 Hire a financial advisor
#4 Make sure that #'s 1-3 don't know each other
#5 Change phone #'s
#6 Move
#7 make sure all mail to old address goes directly to the trash
#8 then claim the prize.

/Never going to happen. Back to work on Monday.
 
2012-11-30 09:30:47 PM
I would start a brewery...what better way to pay it forward than getting the masses drunk? A man can have his dream
 
2012-11-30 09:31:41 PM

davidphogan: AbbeySomeone: Mercury: Speak for yourself. 7 of us pooled our money on tickets and we won $4.

The only possible thing to do is reinvest your money. 4 bucks ain't good for much else.

It'll get you a burrito. And burritos are delicious.


You boast of your streetcart superiority.
Hey, Seattle one ups you with measure 502 - *spark
 
2012-11-30 09:32:33 PM
I've heard of stores checking their security cameras and posting photos of lotto winners. Once the lotto winner didn't know she won until seeing her photo. It's a bit annoying overall though because if you want to remain anonymous and a store posts your picture and then it ends up on the news.........
 
2012-11-30 09:32:44 PM
AbbeySomeone
Hey, Seattle one ups you with measure 502 - *spark

me thinks sparking up costs more than $4..unless you run the cartel
 
2012-11-30 09:33:15 PM

meintx2001: I hate hearing all these "reasons" not to win. BS. Go ahead give me a shot. I might make a few mistakes, but there's no way I'll end up broke. Farking idiots.


I dunno, 2 or the 5 had a sibling attempt to kill them, and another one had his granddaughter get kidnapped in an attempt to extort him. I'm not sure how much money I'd want to have to deal with those sorts of things. I'm not saying they are a brightest bulbs to begin with, but they definitely walked into a whole new world when they cashed in those tickets.
 
2012-11-30 09:33:26 PM

brantgoose: I plan to use my lottery winnings purely for evil. Anybody who asks me for a cent is in deep, deep, shiat.


I'm stealing this idea. If there is absolutely no way to remain anon if I win, I'll lay it all out there at the press conference. I'll start with "I know some people who know some people who hurt people. Don't make me contact them"

Ask for $1000, and your dog disappears. ask for more, you're tempting fate.
 
2012-11-30 09:34:53 PM

AutumnWind: I've heard of stores checking their security cameras and posting photos of lotto winners. Once the lotto winner didn't know she won until seeing her photo. It's a bit annoying overall though because if you want to remain anonymous and a store posts your picture and then it ends up on the news.........


OMG. Now that means that I must wear a disguises wen I buy my tickets from now on. Crap.
 
2012-11-30 09:35:34 PM
99% of the people that play the lottery are morons. What do you expect?

The odds of the 1% of smart people combined with the odds of winning in general are infinitesimally small.
 
2012-11-30 09:35:59 PM

Atomic Spunk: I often read these types of cautionary tales about a lottery winner blowing all their money and/or having their lives spin out of control after winning. Occasionally, I will read a story about how a winner's life was changed for the better. Overall, though, I wonder if most large jackpot winners feel that the win made their lives better or worse?

Either way though, I think lotteries are bad for society. I can't help but feel that if you sell hundreds of thousands of people (or more) a little piece of hope then yank it away, and you do this over and over again, it can't be good. Also, I've known a few problem gamblers before, and it's a miserable way to live for both them and their families.


There's no way governments would give up lotteries, they pull in way too much easy money. Maybe they should assign them financial advisers and counselors or force them to put a percentage into a trust fund for ten years so there's at least a chance they won't blow it all.
 
2012-11-30 09:36:33 PM
Three-fifty, It's winter so you can wrap a scarf around your face maybe. haha
 
2012-11-30 09:37:39 PM

desertfool: #1 Hire an attorney.
#2 Hire an accountant
#3 Hire a financial advisor
#4 Make sure that #'s 1-3 don't know each other
#5 Change phone #'s
#6 Move
#7 make sure all mail to old address goes directly to the trash
#8 then claim the prize.

/Never going to happen. Back to work on Monday.


That's one that I didn't think of. Good call.

/Never going to happen
 
2012-11-30 09:37:41 PM

AbbeySomeone: You boast of your streetcart superiority.
Hey, Seattle one ups you with measure 502 - *spark


We have some great taquarias around NE, and popping up all over.

As far as 502, I took my dad up there right before the election and we were both amused by the number of times people tried to give us flyers about that.

If I won the lottery, I'd probably buy an island in Washington. Cause hell, if I had a hundred million laying around, why not?
 
2012-11-30 09:37:51 PM

Fissile:

The alternative is worse, you get organized crime back into the gambling biz. My uncle's late father-in-law lost his house playing the ponies at a mob bookie joint back in the 1950s. You may not believe this, but real life mafia guys aren't the suave Marlin Brando Godfather types.

My big objection to US lottery games is the lying bull shiat that goes along with them. In Europe, if you win a million Euros, you have a million Euros paid out to you, no annuities, no present value, and no taxes.


I think the alternatives would be worse for some - particularly the seriously addicted gamblers who have contacts to those in organized crime. But the thing that's so bad about legal lotteries is that they're so ubiquitous, so a much larger segment of the population wastes their money on false hope. If lotteries were illegal, I think most people wouldn't be out searching for an illegal alternative - they'd just choose not to gamble.

I live in Hawaii and we have no legal forms of gambling. I'm aware that there are illegal gambling parlors and sports betting operations here, but I only know of a couple people who participate. Most people here don't even bother to try to find these places because they're illegal. But if lotteries were legal, I'm quite sure that most of the people I know would probably buy a ticket.
 
2012-11-30 09:37:58 PM

kpaxoid: ...After that, once that reaches surviving critical mass, I'd get a place on the Florida gulf side, and a big enough boat so that I could go out into the Gulf, turn off the engine, and listen to the sound of God.


God sounds like oil rigs?
 
2012-11-30 09:38:26 PM

Taleri: It appears one guy who won the recent lottery decided to break the news on facebook.


and promised to give a million to some random person who shared the pic, so I've been seeing his ugly smiling face all day on fb.

/looks shopped to me, I should know...
 
2012-11-30 09:45:57 PM
let's see:

1: pay off my outstanding tickets.
2: get a car that isn't falling apart.
3: buy a house large enough to raise a family in.
4: buy a plot of land and build the restaurant/bar that I've been designing for the last 3 years.
5: kick off my bbq sauce line.
6: buy a round a week at my favorite pub.

Maybe I should start playing...
 
2012-11-30 09:46:35 PM

desertfool: #1 Hire an attorney.
#2 Hire an accountant
#3 Hire a financial advisor
#4 Make sure that #'s 1-3 don't know each other
#5 Change phone #'s
#6 Move
#7 make sure all mail to old address goes directly to the trash
#8 then claim the prize.

/Never going to happen. Back to work on Monday.


and after all that I would pay six 18-year-olds to cosplay as the characters from My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic.
 
2012-11-30 09:46:35 PM

Ronin_S:
There's no way governments would give up lotteries, they pull in way too much easy money. Maybe they should assign them financial advisers and counselors or force them to put a percentage into a trust fund for ten years so there's at least a chance they won't blow it all.


I think the ten year trust fund and a financial adviser idea is really worthwhile.
 
2012-11-30 09:46:56 PM

Atomic Spunk: I think the alternatives would be worse for some - particularly the seriously addicted gamblers who have contacts to those in organized crime. But the thing that's so bad about legal lotteries is that they're so ubiquitous, so a much larger segment of the population wastes their money on false hope. If lotteries were illegal, I think most people wouldn't be out searching for an illegal alternative - they'd just choose not to gamble.

I live in Hawaii and we have no legal forms of gambling. I'm aware that there are illegal gambling parlors and sports betting operations here, but I only know of a couple people who participate. Most people here don't even bother to try to find these places because they're illegal. But if lotteries were legal, I'm quite sure that most of the people I know would probably buy a ticket.


I'm in Oregon, and pretty much every bar and cigarette store in the state has video poker/slots and Keno. We had sports better here until 2007, but they took that away. Anyway, it gets split 59% for education, 25% for economic development, 15% for state parks, and 1% for problem gambling treatment. It's only about a billion dollars for the state.

And maybe people in Hawaii don't illegally gamble online, but I know a number of people who bet on sports and play poker online.
 
2012-11-30 09:50:29 PM

Atomic Spunk: If lotteries were illegal, I think most people wouldn't be out searching for an illegal alternative - they'd just choose not to gamble.


That's true, but the average person doesn't have a gambling problem. People with gambling problems will find the illegal alternatives anyway if no legal one is available. Making it illegal doesn't protect anyone, it just changes gambling addicts from people with a problem into criminals. Making gambling illegal is exactly the same as prohibition or the war on drugs.
 
2012-11-30 09:50:40 PM
Giving a radom person a large sum of money often ends with very stupid decisions? No way
 
2012-11-30 09:51:06 PM

desertfool:
#0 Don't tell ANYBODY you won - especially spouse
#1 Hire an attorney.
#2 Hire an accountant
#3 Hire a financial advisor
#4 Make sure that #'s 1-3 don't know each other
#5 Change phone #'s
#6 Open bank account in Switzerland with $300
#7 make sure all mail to old address goes directly to the trash
#8 then claim the prize.
#9 Have money transferred directly into Swiss bank account
#10 Move to Switzerland (with spouse if u must)


 
2012-11-30 09:55:19 PM
So how long until someone kidnaps the Missouri people's kid? These people are retarded. They clearly did not do anything but call the lottery commission saying they won and when can they get their money.
 
2012-11-30 09:57:24 PM
I knew a big lotto winner (60mil + / - ) from a marina I was at for a time. He had his brand new giant ugly-ass houseboat on the same pier as I had my boat.

He was your garden variety mulleted redneck that toiled on a production line at a cardboard factory somewhere in Western Wisconsin prior to winning.

He was by far the richest person in the entire marina but never really interacted with anyone else because he had nothing much to say beyond what he was buying/spending money on this week.

He ended up at our marina because the snooty one down river populated by a bunch of Shooter McGavins had thrown him out for bieng too trashy (not in so many words though).

I actually felt kind of sorry for the guy.
 
2012-11-30 09:57:25 PM
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net

I feel like this needs to be shopped.
 
2012-11-30 09:57:32 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: Atomic Spunk: If lotteries were illegal, I think most people wouldn't be out searching for an illegal alternative - they'd just choose not to gamble.

That's true, but the average person doesn't have a gambling problem. People with gambling problems will find the illegal alternatives anyway if no legal one is available. Making it illegal doesn't protect anyone, it just changes gambling addicts from people with a problem into criminals. Making gambling illegal is exactly the same as prohibition or the war on drugs.


I don't know if that's a fair comparison. I recall reading that when drugs were decriminalized in Portugal and the Netherlands, abuse as well as overall usage didn't change significantly. However, if lotteries were made legal in my state, I'm quite certain that a lot of people I know who never gamble at all would probably buy a ticket or two. So I think that keeping it illegal is probably protecting a lot of people from gambling their money away. I'm just speculating, of course.
 
2012-11-30 10:00:14 PM
Shamelessly bookmarking cause the links on the site look very interesting for when my wife is not looking over my shoulder.

coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com 

coedmagazine.files.wordpress.com
 
2012-11-30 10:06:16 PM

Atomic Spunk: So I think that keeping it illegal is probably protecting a lot of people from gambling their money away.


Why shouldn't people be able to spend their money in the way they want to?
 
2012-11-30 10:07:08 PM

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: Mercury: Speak for yourself. 7 of us pooled our money on tickets and we won $4.

WE'RE GOING TO TIJUANA!!!!!


winnow.veeshanvault.org
 
2012-11-30 10:09:40 PM
A man rushed into his house and yelled to his wife, "Susan, pack your things. I just won the National Lottery!'
'Brilliant,' replied Susan, 'shall I pack for warm weather or cold?'
'I don't care.' the man said, 'just so long as you're out of the house by noon!'
 
2012-11-30 10:11:11 PM

Taleri: Link

It appears one guy who won the recent lottery decided to break the news on facebook.


fake
 
2012-11-30 10:14:26 PM
If you can't collect the prize anonymously, then don't collect for a few weeks if you can (no risk of someone stealing your ticket, etc.). Better yet if the pot is split; the other suckers will get most of the press and you collecting it will be buried further down in the news.

I promised myself I'd still work for a year, just to get used to the money. You want to also be able to live off the interest of your money (1% of $100 million is $1 millon...if you can't figure out how to live off of $3 million, then you get what you deserve).
 
2012-11-30 10:15:25 PM

Popcorn Johnny: Transubstantive: In most states you must publicly come forward.

Not true at all, you can start a trust and have an attorney claim the money in its name.


This.

Step 1: Put the the ticket in a safety deposit box, do NOT sign it

Step 2: Contact a large national law that has an office in your state with Corporate Trust and Structured Finance practices.

Not only will you stay anonymous, you'll also minimize your tax burden.
 
2012-11-30 10:16:00 PM

balki1867: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x636]

I feel like this needs to be shopped.


it already is
 
2012-11-30 10:18:32 PM

YouSirAreAMaroon: Popcorn Johnny: Transubstantive: In most states you must publicly come forward.

Not true at all, you can start a trust and have an attorney claim the money in its name.

This.

Step 1: Put the the ticket in a safety deposit box, do NOT sign it

Step 2: Contact a large national law that has an office in your state with Corporate Trust and Structured Finance practices.

Not only will you stay anonymous, you'll also minimize your tax burden.


Can that still work even though they pull video surveillance at the time the winning ticket was purchased? There are people who will know who you are.
 
2012-11-30 10:20:07 PM
First order of business, pay off all existing debts. home..car..etc.
second order of business, sell home and move
change name
Send money to your IMMEDIATE relatives and tell them this is a one time thing, and if they blow it all, its gone.
move to a different state, if not country
keep the bulk of your cash in off shore bank accounts to avoid paying taxes on it.

get a nice home wherever you settle down, pay it in full, work out a nice solid financial plan that will allow you to live comfortably with a nice car and house, and able to pay;taxes on it. And vacations.
 
2012-11-30 10:30:04 PM

tweek46420: balki1867: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x636]

I feel like this needs to be shopped.

it already is


Yeah I know, but I meant in a funny way.
 
2012-11-30 10:30:36 PM

davidphogan: Atomic Spunk: So I think that keeping it illegal is probably protecting a lot of people from gambling their money away.

Why shouldn't people be able to spend their money in the way they want to?


I'm torn on this issue. While I generally agree with what you've said, sometimes society must look beyond an individual's right and instead look at what's good for society as a whole. Although my state doesn't allow gambling, I wouldn't oppose efforts to legalize it. But at the same time, I also believe that it would create a whole mess of problems if it were legalized.
 
2012-11-30 10:30:45 PM

diaphoresis: YouSirAreAMaroon: Popcorn Johnny: Transubstantive: In most states you must publicly come forward.

Not true at all, you can start a trust and have an attorney claim the money in its name.

This.

Step 1: Put the the ticket in a safety deposit box, do NOT sign it

Step 2: Contact a large national law that has an office in your state with Corporate Trust and Structured Finance practices.

Not only will you stay anonymous, you'll also minimize your tax burden.

Can that still work even though they pull video surveillance at the time the winning ticket was purchased? There are people who will know who you are.


I'm not sure there's any avoiding that apart from altering your appearance. Best you can do is get out of the press conference, etc. Probably still have plausible deniability assuming there's no exterior video from the store.
 
2012-11-30 10:34:02 PM

balki1867: tweek46420: balki1867: [sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x636]

I feel like this needs to be shopped.

it already is

Yeah I know, but I meant in a funny way.


well...it kind of is already
 
2012-11-30 10:35:15 PM
"He also "donated" a lot of money to casinos, bars and hookers."

What's Dionie Reyes' Fark handle?
 
2012-11-30 10:36:28 PM

YouSirAreAMaroon: Popcorn Johnny: Transubstantive: In most states you must publicly come forward.

Not true at all, you can start a trust and have an attorney claim the money in its name.

This.

Step 1: Put the the ticket in a safety deposit box, do NOT sign it

Step 2: Contact a large national law that has an office in your state with Corporate Trust and Structured Finance practices.

Not only will you stay anonymous, you'll also minimize your tax burden.


This is not true everywhere. In Florida, all benefactors of any trust must be made public when collecting lottery winners. If you win the lottery here and collect any portion of it, you will be made public.
 
2012-11-30 10:41:57 PM
I am seriously excited to read the sob story for these Missouri idiots in a year. Just no chance in hell it ends well for them. They are the definition of naive.
 
2012-11-30 10:49:45 PM
"I know you've never made a good decision in your life but here's a few hundred million dollars so now money is no object"

Yeah that won't end well.
 
2012-11-30 10:50:07 PM

Atomic Spunk: I'm torn on this issue. While I generally agree with what you've said, sometimes society must look beyond an individual's right and instead look at what's good for society as a whole. Although my state doesn't allow gambling, I wouldn't oppose efforts to legalize it. But at the same time, I also believe that it would create a whole mess of problems if it were legalized.


We have gambling here. It creates a mess of problems.

If I won the lottery, I would.....you would never find me. I'd just keep moving.
 
2012-11-30 10:51:39 PM

kpaxoid: If I won a major lottery I would:

First, I would split down the middle with my wife and I each getting half.

Second, I would negotiate with my wife so each of us contributes 50% to the existing debt and credit load and removes that.

Third, negotiate with my wife so we bilaterally wipe out all of our children's existing debt.

What the fark kind of debts do you have that would even make a dent in a multi-million lottery winning?
 
2012-11-30 10:57:12 PM

FuManchu7: YouSirAreAMaroon: Popcorn Johnny: Transubstantive: In most states you must publicly come forward.

Not true at all, you can start a trust and have an attorney claim the money in its name.

This.

Step 1: Put the the ticket in a safety deposit box, do NOT sign it

Step 2: Contact a large national law that has an office in your state with Corporate Trust and Structured Finance practices.

Not only will you stay anonymous, you'll also minimize your tax burden.

This is not true everywhere. In Florida, all benefactors of any trust must be made public when collecting lottery winners. If you win the lottery here and collect any portion of it, you will be made public.


What if the benefactor of the trust is an LLC?
 
2012-11-30 11:02:10 PM
Some time ago my father passed away and left me half interest in his house, which netted $143K and change after all fees were paid.

It was one of these Florida real estate deals: on again--off again, they keep you on pins and needles for months. But it finally went through and---------BLAM! Big stack of money in the bank account, I was sitting at the computer at the time, calling the agent on the phone to verify receipt.

I had made up my mind in advance, I would blow $5k on frivolous self--indulgences, spend $5K more on practical items I would need over time, and save the rest.

Well, 4 hours later I spotted a 250 Virago on craigslist, 5000 miles and showroom condition,only $1500. That is light by a factor of 2 to one, so I grabbed it. After a week or so, I jumped on the bike and spent $1800 on a 5200--mile joyride through 13 States, and then I blew a few hundred here and there, mostly on practical items.

I do not count the bike as frivolous, not when I can ride it 5 years and 60,000 miles, and sell it for about $1000 or so; works out to about 27 cents a day. When the score was tallied up, I had only spent $5K of the $10K I had intended to blow; I still had plenty left over.

The secret here is, plan well in advance what you will do, and give your weaknesses a chance to work themselves out; set a fixed sum to waste, waste it---and quit.
 
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