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(ESPN)   If you wear a Johnny Football haircut to school in Johnny's home town, then you will be suspended   (espn.go.com) divider line 53
    More: Stupid, Matt Bonner  
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14274 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2012 at 4:22 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-30 02:02:05 PM
That is truly the most hideous haircut I have ever seen, I am strangely impressed by the attention to detail.
 
2012-11-30 04:05:11 PM
If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!
 
2012-11-30 04:23:29 PM

OSULugan: If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!


You sound popular.
 
2012-11-30 04:26:03 PM
Who the fark is Johnny Football?
 
2012-11-30 04:27:08 PM
I find that to be more interesting than most of what passes for art these days.
 
2012-11-30 04:27:19 PM

you have pee hands: OSULugan: If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!

You sound popular.


He's head of the class...
 
2012-11-30 04:28:41 PM

Moron Police: you have pee hands: OSULugan: If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!

You sound popular.

He's head of the class...


His mom says he's a catch...
 
2012-11-30 04:31:39 PM

Rahsa Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy: Moron Police: you have pee hands: OSULugan: If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!

You sound popular.

He's head of the class...

His mom says he's a catch...


He's never last picked
 
2012-11-30 04:33:37 PM
Texas seems to be in a race to the bottom with Florida.
 
2012-11-30 04:33:52 PM

God-is-a-Taco: Rahsa Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy: Moron Police: you have pee hands: OSULugan: If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!

You sound popular.

He's head of the class...

His mom says he's a catch...

He's never last picked


He's got a cheerleader chick
 
2012-11-30 04:36:03 PM
It is ridiculous we still give a rat's ass how kids have their hair in school. Is it standing up high enough to obstruct someone's view? Does it exude flammable vapors? Then STFU. These kids care more about tonight's party than that kids hair.
 
2012-11-30 04:36:57 PM
OK, I've asked 5 gay guys here at work about this and specifically if it resembles homoerotic activty.
Unanimous answer? Not sure about homoerotic, but damned sure creepy.
 
2012-11-30 04:40:13 PM
Fails' statement said Chavez "was placed in an area of the school where he would not distract the learning of other students. He left school early today, but it was on his own accord and done at an appropriate time and in an appropriate manner" adding that Chavez's claim he was "kicked out of school" was "not true."

He might have been on school ground immediately before he left, but he'd already been kicked out of "school" in the sense that he'd been removed from his regular classes.

Fails fails and lies, too.
 
2012-11-30 04:40:34 PM
Should have gone with Johnny Utah.
 
2012-11-30 04:42:15 PM
You know what's printed on every Aggie's ass?

"Barber: cut other end"
 
2012-11-30 04:42:52 PM

vudukungfu: Not sure about homoerotic, but damned sure creepy.


The haircut or Nada Surf?
 
2012-11-30 04:48:39 PM
I care exactly zero about this Johnny person and this high school kid... but I am pretty impressed with the skilled execution of the haircut. Serious barber chops, good man!
 
2012-11-30 04:50:22 PM

OSULugan: If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!


...then give him a hummer in the broom closet. Be sure not to mistake him for the janitor, as the janitor is a minority, and if you touch one you make Jesus cry.

/I have no idea where this was going. My brain hates me.
 
2012-11-30 05:06:21 PM
Came in for the Nada Surf references. Did not leave disappointed.

/they played Cleveland twice in the last year
//sadly missed both gigs
 
2012-11-30 05:07:44 PM
animehistory.files.wordpress.com

Can you set your watch too it?
 
2012-11-30 05:07:59 PM
No mention of the school's PR guy being named Fails yet?
Fark I am disappoint
 
2012-11-30 05:17:43 PM

Rapmaster2000: Should have gone with Johnny Utah.


images2.static-bluray.com

'Let's rock and roll!'
 
2012-11-30 05:19:00 PM

NannyStatePark: It is ridiculous we still give a rat's ass how kids have their hair in school. Is it standing up high enough to obstruct someone's view? Does it exude flammable vapors? Then STFU. These kids care more about tonight's party than that kids hair.


I wish schools had banned afro-sheen back in my day. That shiat was nasty.
 
2012-11-30 05:29:01 PM
I hate this haircut as much as the next girl, but I hate schools telling people what they can and can't do with their hair even more. Especially that "natural hair colors only" rule. If you can't dye your hair purple in high school, when the hell can you? If someone's weird hair distracts you to the point that you can't focus on your work, you were going to get distracted by something else.
 
2012-11-30 05:31:53 PM
Love that vague, catch-all excuse of "distraction". As if kids are going to fail tests or not be able to pay attention to their teacher just because some kid got a weird haircut. Such BS.
 
2012-11-30 05:32:19 PM

MaverickRL: No mention of the school's PR guy being named Fails yet?
Fark I am disappoint


AndreMA kinda did, but really, he deserves a proper introduction:

"School District public relations specialist Jamie Fails"

I couldn't stop snickering.
 
2012-11-30 05:33:37 PM

Rahsa Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy: God-is-a-Taco: Rahsa Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy: Moron Police: you have pee hands: OSULugan: If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!

You sound popular.

He's head of the class...

His mom says he's a catch...

He's never last picked

He's got a cheerleader chick


He fosters an atmosphere of sports hero worship and rhythmic slapping sounds.
 
2012-11-30 05:36:20 PM
"was inappropriate for school policy."

If the school really does have such a policy about such things, the administrators do not have a solid conceptual handle on managing a school, and are instead relying instead on a policy of Zero Intelligence.
 
2012-11-30 05:41:02 PM
It's Kerrville. Not a lot to do out there.
 
2012-11-30 05:46:27 PM
Next time he should just write "Douchecanoe" on his head and be done with it.
 
2012-11-30 05:47:05 PM

trappedspirit: Rahsa Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy: God-is-a-Taco: Rahsa Naba Doe-ah Gola Wookiee Nipple Pinchy: Moron Police: you have pee hands: OSULugan: If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond, you have to be as attractive as possible. Make sure to keep your hair spotless and clean. Wash it at least every two weeks. Once, every two weeks. And if you see Johnny Football hero in the hall, tell him he played a great game. Tell him that you liked his article in the newspaper!

You sound popular.

He's head of the class...

His mom says he's a catch...

He's never last picked

He's got a cheerleader chick

He fosters an atmosphere of sports hero worship and rhythmic slapping sounds.


He's the first in line to administer an UFIA.
 
2012-11-30 05:48:52 PM

Chinchillazilla: I hate this haircut as much as the next girl, but I hate schools telling people what they can and can't do with their hair even more. Especially that "natural hair colors only" rule. If you can't dye your hair purple in high school, when the hell can you? If someone's weird hair distracts you to the point that you can't focus on your work, you were going to get distracted by something else.


Did you look at the hair? I would be staring at that, too, and distracted from pretty much whatever I was supposed to be doing.

I mean it is an amazing hair cut. His barber is truly a master of the medium.
 
2012-11-30 05:50:49 PM

vudukungfu: OK, I've asked 5 gay guys here at work about this and specifically if it resembles homoerotic activty.
Unanimous answer? Not sure about homoerotic, but damned sure creepy.


5 Gay guys at work? What do they have a club or something? You either work at a gay bar, or in a church.

Or in Canadian government I suppose.
 
2012-11-30 05:52:06 PM

Maud Dib: It's Kerrville. Not a lot to do out there.


Well, you can go there and be arrested just for being from out of town. That's always a sure thing. No way is on my "shiat to do" list though. In fact, it's kind of ruined the whole folk festival camping thing for me as late. The whole town is nothing but snake handlers, and cops that are snake handlers.

/Kerrville Kops Kcus
 
2012-11-30 06:10:27 PM
If the school's stated dress code doesn't even allow messy or dyed hair, I dunno how he thought he'd get away with a friggin' portrait on his head.
 
2012-11-30 06:21:53 PM
FTFA: A written statement from Kerrville Independent School District public relations specialist Jamie Fails said Chavez's hair style violated the school's dress code, which states: "Hair must be clean and neatly groomed. Only natural hair colors are acceptable. Hairstyles that are distracting are not acceptable."

From Wiki definition of the Borg:

"force into the collective and connect them to "the hive mind"; the act is called assimilation"


Oh Texas, you used to be cool.
 
2012-11-30 06:25:33 PM
Ridiculous on the school's part. I teach...that would cause interest for about 10 minutes of the day, then it would be back to business as usual. And I teach middle school.

/Have no idea of Johnny Football is, but it seems a shame to remove such a detailed haircut
 
2012-11-30 06:29:35 PM

Mark Ratner: I wish schools had banned afro-sheen back in my day. That shiat was nasty.


imageshack.us

Is that the same as Soul Glo?
 
2012-11-30 06:34:24 PM
i26.photobucket.com
/Raises awarness
 
2012-11-30 06:39:59 PM
Suspension. The magical, wonderful cure-all for tiny-dicked school officials.
 
2012-11-30 06:41:51 PM

Nothing_Happens: Mark Ratner: I wish schools had banned afro-sheen back in my day. That shiat was nasty.

[imageshack.us image 300x168]

Is that the same as Soul Glo?


Yep. So glad that fad went away, and hopefully black hipsters won't try to make it cool again. That shiat stank and dripped on their collar and shoulders.

That said, I really do think schools have more important issues to worry about than judging kids' hair styles.
 
2012-11-30 06:57:17 PM
This happens because parents put up with it. It doesn't cost much to use Pre-Paid Legal. I had it when my son was in school just so I could have an attorney send a letter to the school and school board any time they made up random "rules" like this. Worked like a charm. If the school does not discriminate against the bleach blonde or highlighted hair they can't restrict how you child colors or cuts his/her hair. Many schools have been sued for that. One letter made them leave my son alone and stop telling him how to look and what to wear for four years of high school. Best fifteen dollars I ever spent.

Schools are also very bad about restricting bodily functions. Teachers love to deny students the right to bathroom breaks as needed. My sons teacher tried to get my son suspended because she denied him a break and he went anyway. Turns out that they were also locking all the bathrooms because their had been vandalism. The whole school was using a single teachers bathroom that was kept locked. They had signs up telling students how to "earn" bathroom breaks. I took care of all that real fast. Thanks Pre-Paid Legal! Using the bathroom is a right, not a privilege.
 
2012-11-30 07:03:18 PM

Mark Ratner: Nothing_Happens: Mark Ratner: I wish schools had banned afro-sheen back in my day. That shiat was nasty.

[imageshack.us image 300x168]

Is that the same as Soul Glo?

Yep. So glad that fad went away, and hopefully black hipsters won't try to make it cool again. That shiat stank and dripped on their collar and shoulders..


Gimme my Activator, Man  possibly NSFW
 
2012-11-30 07:09:01 PM

Mija:
Schools are also very bad about restricting bodily functions. Teachers love to deny students the right to bathroom breaks as needed. My sons teacher tried to get my son suspended because she denied him a break and he went anyway. Turns out that they were also locking all the bathrooms because their had been vandalism. The whole school was using a single teachers bathroom that was kept locked. They had signs up telling students how to "earn" bathroom breaks. I took care of all that real fast. Thanks Pre-Paid Legal! Using the bathroom is a right, not a privilege.


I know the military isnt' High School, but my drill sgt told me to tie a knot in it. I have a prostate the size of a honey dew but I can hold my farking water.

/Jokes aside, thanks for the legal tips. I didn't know you could do that.
 
2012-11-30 07:19:01 PM

Onkel Buck: Mark Ratner: Nothing_Happens: Mark Ratner: I wish schools had banned afro-sheen back in my day. That shiat was nasty.

[imageshack.us image 300x168]

Is that the same as Soul Glo?

Yep. So glad that fad went away, and hopefully black hipsters won't try to make it cool again. That shiat stank and dripped on their collar and shoulders..

Gimme my Activator, Man  possibly NSFW


Hilarious. Thanks.
 
2012-11-30 08:07:26 PM
Feels your pain

funnylifestyle.com
 
2012-11-30 08:41:12 PM
I went to a high school with a uniform and grooming code. We were all well aware of what it was, so I'm reasonably sure this kid knew his too. Likely he said "oh they'll never make me cut something this detailed and cool." He called their bluff and lost. No sympathy.

/yes I believe kids need the freedom to experiment.
/I also believe you need to factor in where you're at.
 
2012-11-30 09:28:41 PM
Prepaid legal is a scam.
 
2012-11-30 10:07:46 PM
This thread is displaying a shocking lack of Aggie Jokes.

Did you hear about the Al Qaeda Aggie who tried to blow up a bus?

He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe.
 
2012-11-30 10:57:16 PM
Christian Chavez of Kerrville, Texas, was sent home from school for this haircut depicting Texas A&M freshman Johnny Manziel.

The war on Christians continues.
 
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