If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Gawker)   Protip: If you're going to offer a $1 million reward, be prepared to pay it   (gawker.com) divider line 77
    More: Fail  
•       •       •

26961 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2012 at 9:19 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



77 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2012-11-30 08:27:21 AM
I've never even heard of this singer guy. I'm feeling lazy, so I'll pay a million dollars* to the first person who can post links to some of his songs in here.

*dollars will be internet representations of actual dollars with no monetary value
 
2012-11-30 08:36:14 AM
That reminds me, I should cash in those Pepsi points for the jet in that commercial...
 
2012-11-30 09:06:38 AM

Pocket Ninja: *dollars will be internet representations of actual dollars with no monetary value


Well everyone take a gander at Rich Uncle Skeleton over here.
 
2012-11-30 09:17:04 AM
www.sptimes.com
/is not amused
 
2012-11-30 09:17:22 AM
7460661 vs 7460600

Is this the quickest repeat ever?
 
2012-11-30 09:24:49 AM

DammitIForgotMyLogin: 7460661 vs 7460600

Is this the quickest repeat ever?


All this proves is that: it would be a full-time job for all the mods to read every submitted link and have a memory good enough to know when an article is a duplicate.

/Cheerleading for mods!
//for this thread anyway
 
2012-11-30 09:26:51 AM
1.bp.blogspot.com

Dottie: Pee-wee, how are you ever going to pay a reward like that?
Pee-wee: It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!
 
2012-11-30 09:28:07 AM
Great story with a kicker ending. A rapper. Who's a complete cheapskate assh*&%. What a surprise.
 
2012-11-30 09:28:18 AM
LOL, yeah, he "found" the laptop
 
2012-11-30 09:32:04 AM

trappedspirit: LOL, yeah, he "found" the laptop


Unless they had proof he stole it, guy had to pay the reward. In this country, it wouldn't matter if they guy had stolen it; Rapper offered a reward for its return. No stipulations.

/Crime pays.. get on board
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-30 09:34:44 AM
U.S. federal law specifically prohibits suing the government over promises of rewards. So if you know the president have him appoint you Attorney General and stop worrying. 

AG: I offer one billion dollars for pictures of Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, or Scott Brown naked.

Public: Here are one million copies of the June, 1982 Cosmo.

AG: Oh, never mind.
 
2012-11-30 09:36:45 AM
i551.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-30 09:38:14 AM

trappedspirit: LOL, yeah, he "found" the laptop


Rule is No Snitches, right? You found it, but have no idea (wink) where it came from.
 
2012-11-30 09:39:01 AM
See the headline... "please don't be James Randi, please don't be James Randi... Phew."
 
2012-11-30 09:41:49 AM
Ach du lieber Augustein!
 
2012-11-30 09:45:36 AM
that guy augstein sounds like a piece of work, probably deserves to be dropped into a shallow grave
 
2012-11-30 09:46:24 AM
Drake is thinner and dumber than expected.
 
2012-11-30 09:47:45 AM

proteus_b: that guy augstein sounds like a piece of work, probably deserves to be dropped into a shallow grave


The 'supposed thief' didn't make the rapper offer $1 million reward. Rapper gets what he gets.
 
2012-11-30 09:48:29 AM
It probably depends on the circumstances - sometimes the payoff happens whether or not you can pay.

I mean if I offered $1 billion to whoever avenges the death of my daughter* and I couldn't pay up, it still might be worth it to me.

Just skimming the article though, I'm reminded of this:


upload.wikimedia.org

Yes, a pizza delivery guy stole a tape from Jerry Garcia and released it and sold a lot of bootlegs. I have a legit copy - great album.

* I have no daughter and she is not dead and I am not actually offering any money for avenging my hypothetical daughter's hypothetical death.
 
2012-11-30 09:49:58 AM
Man what a nubianrdly attitude . Just pay the money and be done with it
 
2012-11-30 09:50:15 AM

ZAZ: U.S. federal law specifically prohibits suing the government over promises of rewards. So if you know the president have him appoint you Attorney General and stop worrying. 

AG: I offer one billion dollars for pictures of Mitt Romney, Paul Ryan, or Scott Brown naked.


The use of the personal "I" means that the person who is the Attorney General, rather than the office or the federal government itself, is on the hook for $1 billion. "We" or "The Justice Department" would be a better noun if you want to invoke the government's immunity.
 
2012-11-30 09:51:42 AM

indarwinsshadow: Great story with a kicker ending. A rapper. Who's a complete cheapskate assh*&%. What a surprise.


He's not a rapper. Hell he even went to Harvard and graduated at 19 Link
 
2012-11-30 09:53:22 AM
Figures he would try to renege.
 
2012-11-30 09:54:33 AM
Dude should have returned the laptop without the hard drive.
 
2012-11-30 09:54:56 AM

Happy Hours: It probably depends on the circumstances - sometimes the payoff happens whether or not you can pay.

I mean if I offered $1 billion to whoever avenges the death of my daughter* and I couldn't pay up, it still might be worth it to me.

Just skimming the article though, I'm reminded of this:


[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x219]

Yes, a pizza delivery guy stole a tape from Jerry Garcia and released it and sold a lot of bootlegs. I have a legit copy - great album.

* I have no daughter and she is not dead and I am not actually offering any money for avenging my hypothetical daughter's hypothetical death.


Reading between the lines of your post, it seems that I might know a guy that could possibly be of some assistance in rectifying your most unusual situation. If you were to contact me, say via email, there is a chance that I could conceivably set up a meeting under the bridge. If the mood strikes you, you might want to bring along a duffle bag filled with some green paper.
 
2012-11-30 09:57:12 AM

drjekel_mrhyde: indarwinsshadow: Great story with a kicker ending. A rapper. Who's a complete cheapskate assh*&%. What a surprise.

He's not a rapper. Hell he even went to Harvard and graduated at 19 Link


This guy just be smarter than anyone on Fark, but goes and do something a GED in Law farker would not do.
 
2012-11-30 10:00:00 AM

diaphoresis: trappedspirit: LOL, yeah, he "found" the laptop

Unless they had proof he stole it, guy had to pay the reward. In this country, it wouldn't matter if they guy had stolen it; Rapper offered a reward for its return. No stipulations.

/Crime pays.. get on board


i89.photobucket.com

You bet your ass crime pays.
 
2012-11-30 10:03:31 AM

diaphoresis: trappedspirit: LOL, yeah, he "found" the laptop

Unless they had proof he stole it, guy had to pay the reward. In this country, it wouldn't matter if they guy had stolen it; Rapper offered a reward for its return. No stipulations.


This.

Caveat your comments or pay the price. 

This is why people have attorneys so they can take care of this kind of thing.
 
2012-11-30 10:06:16 AM

drjekel_mrhyde:
He's not a rapper. Hell he even went to Harvard...


I love how you have made the two mutually exclusive.
 
2012-11-30 10:06:52 AM

diaphoresis: The 'supposed thief' didn't make the rapper offer $1 million reward. Rapper gets what he gets.


Look at it this way---you have something which doesn't belong to you, but does belong to someone else. Rather than accepting his 20,000 dollar "reward" for returning HIS property, you insist that he give you a million dollars (which is clearly more indicative of his state of desperation at the time fo the reward offer than of the real value of the laptop).
Augstein is a sub-human... probably he will get what's coming to him soon...
 
2012-11-30 10:07:20 AM
I'll just put this here...
images.profileengine.com
 
2012-11-30 10:08:08 AM

cyks: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 428x287]

Dottie: Pee-wee, how are you ever going to pay a reward like that?
Pee-wee: It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!


Thank you for this.
 
2012-11-30 10:10:04 AM

TrainingWheelsNeeded: diaphoresis: trappedspirit: LOL, yeah, he "found" the laptop

Unless they had proof he stole it, guy had to pay the reward. In this country, it wouldn't matter if they guy had stolen it; Rapper offered a reward for its return. No stipulations.

/Crime pays.. get on board

[i89.photobucket.com image 320x215]

You bet your ass crime pays.


www.thebigbrownchair.com

Well, it pays a little.
 
2012-11-30 10:12:47 AM
Awww... what a let down. I clicked hoping it was in response to this...

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-30 10:20:24 AM

Cyno01: See the headline... "please don't be James RandiOmarion, please don't be James RandiOmarion... Phew."


FTFY
 
2012-11-30 10:25:07 AM

Apos: Drake is thinner and dumber than expected.


That's exactly who I thought it was.
 
2012-11-30 10:27:58 AM
philosopedia.org

Is tired of these shenanigans.

/and he knows nobody will be able to collect
//has the foundation to pay anyway 
 
2012-11-30 10:29:19 AM

Dissociater: I'll just put this here...
[images.profileengine.com image 200x342]


First thing I thought of too. I'm guessing making a point of putting it in writing meant that it wasn't considered "mere puff"
 
2012-11-30 10:29:57 AM

ChrisDe: Reading between the lines of your post, it seems that I might know a guy that could possibly be of some assistance in rectifying your most unusual situation. If you were to contact me, say via email, there is a chance that I could conceivably set up a meeting under the bridge. If the mood strikes you, you might want to bring along a duffle bag filled with some green paper.


It's a trap. Anyone trying to sound so much like a police officer must be a fourteen year old girl looking for sex.

/It's how the internet works.
 
2012-11-30 10:32:26 AM

Cyno01: See the headline... "please don't be James Randi, please don't be James Randi... Phew."


I'd love for someone to be able to get a million from Randi. Not because I believe in ESP, spoonbending or other crap, but because of what it would mean if someone did get it legitimately.
 
2012-11-30 10:36:45 AM

Happy Hours: It probably depends on the circumstances - sometimes the payoff happens whether or not you can pay.

I mean if I offered $1 billion to whoever avenges the death of my daughter* and I couldn't pay up, it still might be worth it to me.


I have have killed everybody responsible for your daughter's death.

Do you want to pay that all at once or in installments?
 
2012-11-30 10:40:33 AM

cyks: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 428x287]

Dottie: Pee-wee, how are you ever going to pay a reward like that?
Pee-wee: It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!


Came in to post the same thing! Awesome job!
 
2012-11-30 10:41:22 AM

Cyno01: See the headline... "please don't be James Randi, please don't be James Randi... Phew."


Thought this at first as well...except Randi (his foundation) most definitely has the cash.

But of course, he'll absolutely never have to pay out.
 
2012-11-30 10:45:20 AM

cyks: [1.bp.blogspot.com image 428x287]

Dottie: Pee-wee, how are you ever going to pay a reward like that?
Pee-wee: It's simple. Whoever returns the bike is obviously the person who stole it. So they don't deserve any reward!


I bought this pen exactly one hour before my bike was stolen. Why? What's the significance? I DON'T KNOW!
 
2012-11-30 10:47:25 AM
I cant imagine any rap on that laptop would be worth more than ....well..nothing.
 
2012-11-30 10:51:31 AM
 
2012-11-30 11:07:46 AM

Arnprior Joe: Cyno01: See the headline... "please don't be James Randi, please don't be James Randi... Phew."

I'd love for someone to be able to get a million from Randi. Not because I believe in ESP, spoonbending or other crap, but because of what it would mean if someone did get it legitimately.


I think even Randi would like to see someone collect. Worse case is his foundation helped discover and quantify a new human ability.

/meanwhile, it helps prevent scam artists from being taken too seriously.
 
2012-11-30 11:10:04 AM

diaphoresis: /Cheerleading for mods!



They still won't have sex with you.
 
2012-11-30 11:12:04 AM

The Jami Turman Fan Club: Happy Hours: It probably depends on the circumstances - sometimes the payoff happens whether or not you can pay.

I mean if I offered $1 billion to whoever avenges the death of my daughter* and I couldn't pay up, it still might be worth it to me.

I have have killed everybody responsible for your daughter's death.

Do you want to pay that all at once or in installments?


I'll pay it in the form of TF subscriptions - starting next month

luckily for me, next month is always 30 days away
 
2012-11-30 11:12:26 AM

proteus_b: that guy augstein sounds like a piece of work, probably deserves to be dropped into a shallow grave


yeah, after all... nobody deserves any reward they were offered... just dump em in a shallow grave and be done with it.
 
Displayed 50 of 77 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report