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(Daily Mail)   You just got married. Do you C) Drive across state lines to pick up a 17-year-old girl for your cute wife to have sex with (w/mugshots)   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Charla Nash, sexual exploitation, Windermere, Amanda McCarell  
•       •       •

48006 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2012 at 1:05 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-29 11:46:25 PM  
11 votes:
I just wanted to say I don't have a wife half my age who helps me bring home girls one third my age. And now my day is ruined because I know somebody out there does. Good thing there are only 15 minutes left in the day. Time to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow I'll get lucky.
2012-11-29 11:32:45 PM  
10 votes:
I was not offered that option.
2012-11-30 02:47:40 AM  
9 votes:
i126.photobucket.com
2012-11-30 01:53:12 AM  
8 votes:

Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?


The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.
2012-11-30 12:23:33 AM  
6 votes:
i.imgur.com
2012-11-30 06:48:14 AM  
5 votes:

styckx: Spartacus Outlaw: styckx: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]

I guess her face looks about 27, although I probably would have guessed 32 to 35, but her body is 40's to 50's. Matronly.

Yeah close up her face is 27 and "cute". Zoom out and she instantly gains an extra chromosome.


The camera adds 10 chromosomes.
2012-11-30 05:15:54 AM  
5 votes:
The arresting officer:
i430.photobucket.com
2012-11-30 03:38:42 AM  
5 votes:
This marks the first time in history anyone has ever thought, "I should have stayed in Kentucky."
2012-11-30 02:07:49 AM  
5 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?

The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.


I have the most confused boner right now.
2012-11-30 01:17:36 AM  
5 votes:
Dude is 47, looks 67, marries 27 and tries to fark 17. He's got a lot of range.
2012-11-30 12:24:07 AM  
5 votes:
And I can't even find a girlfriend who will do the dishes.
2012-11-30 01:20:38 AM  
4 votes:

Spartacus Outlaw: styckx: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]

I guess her face looks about 27, although I probably would have guessed 32 to 35, but her body is 40's to 50's. Matronly.


Yeah close up her face is 27 and "cute". Zoom out and she instantly gains an extra chromosome.
2012-11-30 07:10:26 AM  
3 votes:
I remeber when the wife and I were newlyweds and we would cross state lines to meet underaged girls...what happened to the romance?
2012-11-30 03:03:02 AM  
3 votes:

styckx: Spartacus Outlaw: styckx: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]

I guess her face looks about 27, although I probably would have guessed 32 to 35, but her body is 40's to 50's. Matronly.

Yeah close up her face is 27 and "cute". Zoom out and she instantly gains an extra chromosome.


Looks like that extra chromosome weighs about 30 lbs.
2012-11-30 11:43:29 AM  
2 votes:
maggoo: tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?


I think she looks like Angie Harmon

Well, they both have ears and two eyes, so I guess you're right...
2012-11-30 09:54:03 AM  
2 votes:
I can't quite tell if those are her upper teeth or her lower teeth...

i.dailymail.co.uk
2012-11-30 08:50:57 AM  
2 votes:
One day, a zookeeper at a state zoo was looking out at the aquatic exhibit, and saw that all the dolphins were basically having a huge orgy out in the middle of the water. Faced with 10 school trips coming that day, he couldn't have them all getting it on in the water. He remembered reading somewhere that a lunch of baby seagulls would usually pull dolphins out of their amorous condition, so he called for his assistant. He told his assistant what he needed, and off he went to go and get baby seagulls. His trip to the aviary went smoothly enough, but on the way back, he decided to take a shortcut through the lion exhibit. While cutting through a narrow stretch, he came upon a lion sleeping across the path. He thought for a moment, then very carefully stepped over the snoozing feline. He continued through the lion exhibit, and came out the other side. Just then, a police officer runs up and tells him he's under arrest. The assistant asks what the charge is. The police officer replies: "Transporting young gulls across the state's lion for immoral porpoises."

/Thanks, I'll be here all week.
2012-11-30 07:50:45 AM  
2 votes:
I'll just leave this here... 

blog.zap2it.com
2012-11-30 06:58:31 AM  
2 votes:

tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?



I think she looks like Angie Harmon

i.dailymail.co.ukwww.film.com
2012-11-30 06:06:40 AM  
2 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.


Now, there's a reality tv program I would watch.
2012-11-30 06:03:03 AM  
2 votes:
2012-11-30 03:55:22 AM  
2 votes:
They met each other through an online dating site
2012-11-30 02:44:27 AM  
2 votes:
Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?

i.dailymail.co.uk = www.marieclaire.com
2012-11-30 02:01:07 AM  
2 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?

The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.


And you just described my former roommate and her girlfriend.
2012-11-30 01:39:46 AM  
2 votes:

doglover: And I can't even find a girlfriend who will do the dishes.


Forget the dishes. I want a girlfriend who will do me.
2012-11-30 01:24:16 AM  
2 votes:

pedobearapproved: you must not get out much, that's about average


I have the internet. that's kinda like getting out.
2012-11-30 01:18:41 AM  
2 votes:

filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??


My friend, you have not seen nearly enough porn.
2012-11-29 11:40:01 PM  
2 votes:
Violating the Mann Act on your wedding night? Priceless.
2012-11-30 04:56:09 PM  
1 vote:
i.dailymail.co.uk images1.wikia.nocookie.net
2012-11-30 03:11:20 PM  
1 vote:

LL316: There are places where 17 is illegal?


One place comes to mind: The backseat of a Volkswagen.
2012-11-30 02:17:32 PM  
1 vote:

i.dailymail.co.uk



"Almost there, quit squirming!"
2012-11-30 01:22:06 PM  
1 vote:
I'm not endorsing this sort of thing. How did all this happen is my main question. Was there an amber alert out and they didn't hide the willing girl? Was it just a luckly spot by the cop? Who gets pulled over then spills the beans like that? Did it go:
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Whitetrashhick: Because I was transporting a 17 year old for some three way sex.
Officer: No, failure to signal. Please step out of the car
Whitetrashhick: Woops
2012-11-30 12:31:14 PM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.com
2012-11-30 12:09:10 PM  
1 vote:

JerkStore: I can't quite tell if those are her upper teeth or her lower teeth...


upload.wikimedia.org
Has no farkin' clue what you're getting at...
2012-11-30 11:00:01 AM  
1 vote:

Bender The Offender: I once had a 21 year old teacher transport me around Tennessee for immoral purposes when I was 17. She was never charged and is now principal of a Christian elementary school. Where was the government when I was being abused, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, behind krogers, at a tanning salon, in the back of her blazer? We were even caught by the sheriffs department at a rock quarry, yet no one acted to protect me from this vicious criminal. I feel I'm entitled to reparations.


The back of her blazer? I hope the dry cleaners were able to treat that stain.
2012-11-30 10:58:29 AM  
1 vote:
i.dailymail.co.uk

He looks like Turtle Man..."LIVE ACTION" 

st.snimg.com
2012-11-30 10:50:27 AM  
1 vote:
I once had a 21 year old teacher transport me around Tennessee for immoral purposes when I was 17. She was never charged and is now principal of a Christian elementary school. Where was the government when I was being abused, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, behind krogers, at a tanning salon, in the back of her blazer? We were even caught by the sheriffs department at a rock quarry, yet no one acted to protect me from this vicious criminal. I feel I'm entitled to reparations.
2012-11-30 10:42:53 AM  
1 vote:
maggoo

"I think she looks like Angie Harmon"

With a moniker like maggoo, that explains it.
2012-11-30 10:11:51 AM  
1 vote:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Apos: The honeymoon is off to a bumpy start, to say the least.

Because of the genital warts?


Those are love nubs, you know, for her enjoyment.
2012-11-30 09:48:34 AM  
1 vote:

maggoo: tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?


I think she looks like Angie Harmon


You need a goddamn eye transplant.
2012-11-30 09:36:16 AM  
1 vote:
wanderingjew.typepad.com

It Tennessee, that's tradition!
2012-11-30 09:28:42 AM  
1 vote:

PreMortem: I'll just leave this here... 

[blog.zap2it.com image 500x550]


Damn! Look at those pumpkins!
2012-11-30 09:15:00 AM  
1 vote:

pissedoffmick: I was not offered that option.


WEll you're not as sexy as this hunk, obviously.
2012-11-30 08:58:05 AM  
1 vote:
It is Kentucky. Were they related to her?
2012-11-30 08:56:44 AM  
1 vote:

Greek: One day, a zookeeper at a state zoo was looking out at the aquatic exhibit, and saw that all the dolphins were basically having a huge orgy out in the middle of the water. Faced with 10 school trips coming that day, he couldn't have them all getting it on in the water. He remembered reading somewhere that a lunch of baby seagulls would usually pull dolphins out of their amorous condition, so he called for his assistant. He told his assistant what he needed, and off he went to go and get baby seagulls. His trip to the aviary went smoothly enough, but on the way back, he decided to take a shortcut through the lion exhibit. While cutting through a narrow stretch, he came upon a lion sleeping across the path. He thought for a moment, then very carefully stepped over the snoozing feline. He continued through the lion exhibit, and came out the other side. Just then, a police officer runs up and tells him he's under arrest. The assistant asks what the charge is. The police officer replies: "Transporting young gulls across the state's lion for immoral porpoises."

/Thanks, I'll be here all week.


Hurls rotten produce at you.
2012-11-30 07:47:58 AM  
1 vote:
If a woman goes both ways, that's an instant +2 on attractiveness.
2012-11-30 07:38:21 AM  
1 vote:

GAT_00: Ah Crossville. The land of shiatty wine, old people golfing and absolutely nothing of value.


You know enough about Crossville to have beliefs about it? I'm flattered. Also relieved I didn't recognize either of these people, although statistically speaking I had to have been in the same room with one or the other of them at some point in my life.

/former manager of the only cinema in the town
2012-11-30 07:33:25 AM  
1 vote:

Ludovico_D_Technique_Esq: Some of the other stories on that site *shakes head*


[i.dailymail.co.uk image 308x425]

"'Who's f*****g my daughter?': Crazed father turns up at girl's school swinging a chain and threatening students "


i0.kym-cdn.com
2012-11-30 06:36:03 AM  
1 vote:

tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423] = [www.marieclaire.com image 300x400]


Not really... although she could be Danica Patrick's retarded Down Syndrome sister I suppose.
2012-11-30 06:21:29 AM  
1 vote:

Fark Me To Tears: Why didn't the wife just have sex with the girl in Kentucky? Why did they need to take her back to Tennessee?

Here I am, a dirty old man, and I just don't understand how these things are supposed to work. I guess it's time to check in at the nursing home. Hopefully they'll be having meatloaf and pudding tonight...


♫...I would do anything for love, but I won't do that ♫
2012-11-30 06:03:47 AM  
1 vote:
The guy was charged with enviable prowess across state lines.
2012-11-30 05:32:36 AM  
1 vote:
Greetings, Professor Falken
2012-11-30 03:11:15 AM  
1 vote:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?

The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.


Snerked. Would snerk again.
2012-11-30 02:56:25 AM  
1 vote:
Dude looks like he got the oxycontin hookup.
2012-11-30 02:14:11 AM  
1 vote:
stuman69.raw

/can't believe it took this long
//yes I do have the file in .raw format
///hahaha no I don't
////it's in an obscure format you've probably never heard of
//over-under-age lesbian sex thread meme hipster
2012-11-30 01:50:47 AM  
1 vote:

MFAWG: rko281: 1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.

Whowhatnow?


Sounds like Mitt Romney's new software upgrade didn't go well.
2012-11-30 01:47:43 AM  
1 vote:

TV's Vinnie: Why does the Mail obsess about Americans so much? Aren't there plenty of yobs and chavs to make fun of in the UK?


You must not read the Daily Fail much. They have no bias. What I learned from them myself is that the UK houses the largest population of batshiat insane women allergic to electromagnetic fields.
2012-11-30 01:45:25 AM  
1 vote:

kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.


They wear Conehead rings, right?
2012-11-30 01:44:00 AM  
1 vote:
It's always unfortunate when a woman is shaped like a triangle

Damn, those calves are HUGE.
2012-11-30 01:42:46 AM  
1 vote:
Why does the Mail obsess about Americans so much? Aren't there plenty of yobs and chavs to make fun of in the UK?
2012-11-30 01:33:22 AM  
1 vote:

Apos: The honeymoon is off to a bumpy start, to say the least.


Because of the genital warts?
2012-11-30 01:30:05 AM  
1 vote:
Oh this begs another question. Is there ANY setting those type of flips flops are acceptable? Flip flops are annoying as shiat but those rubbing shiat ones they've been making since the 70's and sold at dollar stores are gross. The sound of moist scummy peeling off the grimy rubber sole every "flip" and that wet smack with every "flop" just skeeves me out completely.
2012-11-30 01:23:21 AM  
1 vote:
Is it just me or does homeboys wife look like she'd put on a mindblowing performance behind closed doors ??

- Dr. Rod Long , Longwood FL, United States, 30/11/2012 04:25


Awesome
2012-11-30 01:20:16 AM  
1 vote:
That's the frumpiest 27 year old I've ever seen.
2012-11-30 01:20:10 AM  
1 vote:

filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??


I don't know, maybe if they scissor
2012-11-30 01:19:59 AM  
1 vote:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Dude is 47, looks 67, marries 27 and tries to fark 17. He's got a lot of range.


He is my new hero
2012-11-30 01:19:35 AM  
1 vote:
That actually sounds like option A), option C) is getting caught doing it
2012-11-30 01:14:51 AM  
1 vote:
Note that the "cute/hot" trollbait headline was nullified due to the fact that this wasn't a British chick

i2.kym-cdn.com
2012-11-30 12:41:11 AM  
1 vote:
That dude must be rich.
2012-11-30 12:18:37 AM  
1 vote:
FTFC(omments):

Did she know that two women can't have sex? Regardless, I love the old "I thought she was 18" excuse. That is older than dirt. Also, what type of person is this 17 year old to just drive off with strangers? Strange people in this world.

- Pak31, USA, 29/11/2012 19:57


Hillarious
2012-11-29 11:48:48 PM  
1 vote:

GAT_00: No, she was in Glasgow, Kentucky.


I find the fact that I wouldn't be able to tell those places apart if my life depended on it comforting.
 
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