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(Daily Mail)   You just got married. Do you C) Drive across state lines to pick up a 17-year-old girl for your cute wife to have sex with (w/mugshots)   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 218
    More: Dumbass, Charla Nash, sexual exploitation, Windermere, Amanda McCarell  
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47984 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2012 at 1:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



218 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-29 11:32:45 PM
I was not offered that option.
 
2012-11-29 11:40:01 PM
Violating the Mann Act on your wedding night? Priceless.
 
2012-11-29 11:41:03 PM
Ah Crossville. The land of shiatty wine, old people golfing and absolutely nothing of value.
 
2012-11-29 11:42:24 PM

GAT_00: Ah Crossville. The land of shiatty wine, old people golfing and absolutely nothing of value.


Except hot 17 year old girls apparently.

Ew
 
2012-11-29 11:45:08 PM

R.A.Danny: GAT_00: Ah Crossville. The land of shiatty wine, old people golfing and absolutely nothing of value.

Except hot 17 year old girls apparently.

Ew


No, she was in Glasgow, Kentucky. The creepy 45 year old guy and his 20 years younger wife with a Daddy that never loved her were from Crossville, which confirms every stereotype I assigned to that town basically. I drive through it multiple times per year en route to Nashville.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-29 11:46:25 PM
I just wanted to say I don't have a wife half my age who helps me bring home girls one third my age. And now my day is ruined because I know somebody out there does. Good thing there are only 15 minutes left in the day. Time to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow I'll get lucky.
 
2012-11-29 11:48:48 PM

GAT_00: No, she was in Glasgow, Kentucky.


I find the fact that I wouldn't be able to tell those places apart if my life depended on it comforting.
 
2012-11-29 11:55:57 PM

R.A.Danny: GAT_00: No, she was in Glasgow, Kentucky.

I find the fact that I wouldn't be able to tell those places apart if my life depended on it comforting.


And downstate Illinois is the same as Chicago. What's your point?
 
2012-11-30 12:00:43 AM
To the best of my knowledge, this would be legal in NY, as 17 is the age of consent here.

So, legal here, illegal and probably placed on a sex offender registry there.
 
2012-11-30 12:05:28 AM
Why didn't the wife just have sex with the girl in Kentucky? Why did they need to take her back to Tennessee?

Here I am, a dirty old man, and I just don't understand how these things are supposed to work. I guess it's time to check in at the nursing home. Hopefully they'll be having meatloaf and pudding tonight...
 
2012-11-30 12:18:37 AM
FTFC(omments):

Did she know that two women can't have sex? Regardless, I love the old "I thought she was 18" excuse. That is older than dirt. Also, what type of person is this 17 year old to just drive off with strangers? Strange people in this world.

- Pak31, USA, 29/11/2012 19:57


Hillarious
 
2012-11-30 12:23:33 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-30 12:24:07 AM
And I can't even find a girlfriend who will do the dishes.
 
2012-11-30 12:41:11 AM
That dude must be rich.
 
2012-11-30 01:07:34 AM

R.A.Danny: Violating the Mann Act on your wedding night? Priceless.


She'll always remember it.

Both of them.
 
2012-11-30 01:08:19 AM

Krieghund: That dude must be rich.


Or really hung
 
2012-11-30 01:08:20 AM

R.A.Danny: Violating the Mann Act on your wedding night? Priceless.


Does the Mann Act still exist?
 
2012-11-30 01:10:42 AM

styckx: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]


I guess her face looks about 27, although I probably would have guessed 32 to 35, but her body is 40's to 50's. Matronly.
 
2012-11-30 01:14:51 AM
Note that the "cute/hot" trollbait headline was nullified due to the fact that this wasn't a British chick

i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-11-30 01:15:21 AM
That woman has a serious case of the crazy eyes, my friends.
 
2012-11-30 01:16:37 AM
Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??
 
2012-11-30 01:17:36 AM
Dude is 47, looks 67, marries 27 and tries to fark 17. He's got a lot of range.
 
2012-11-30 01:18:41 AM

filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??


My friend, you have not seen nearly enough porn.
 
2012-11-30 01:18:54 AM

Fano: R.A.Danny: Violating the Mann Act on your wedding night? Priceless.

Does the Mann Act still exist?


Yes, but its originally vague language has been refined to prohibit interstate transport of persons for purposes of prostitution or illegal sex acts... like sex with a minor.
 
2012-11-30 01:19:35 AM
That actually sounds like option A), option C) is getting caught doing it
 
2012-11-30 01:19:51 AM
DO WANT
 
2012-11-30 01:19:59 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Dude is 47, looks 67, marries 27 and tries to fark 17. He's got a lot of range.


He is my new hero
 
2012-11-30 01:20:10 AM

filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??


I don't know, maybe if they scissor
 
2012-11-30 01:20:16 AM
That's the frumpiest 27 year old I've ever seen.
 
2012-11-30 01:20:38 AM

Spartacus Outlaw: styckx: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]

I guess her face looks about 27, although I probably would have guessed 32 to 35, but her body is 40's to 50's. Matronly.


Yeah close up her face is 27 and "cute". Zoom out and she instantly gains an extra chromosome.
 
2012-11-30 01:22:45 AM

log_jammin: That's the frumpiest 27 year old I've ever seen.


you must not get out much, that's about average
 
2012-11-30 01:22:50 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Why didn't the wife just have sex with the girl in Kentucky? Why did they need to take her back to Tennessee?

Here I am, a dirty old man, and I just don't understand how these things are supposed to work. I guess it's time to check in at the nursing home. Hopefully they'll be having meatloaf and pudding tonight...


i love meatloaf and pudding night. always mashed taters & gravy plus corn on the side. choose between vanilla, chocolate or tapioca pudding. meal fit for a king.

/haven't been laid in forever
 
2012-11-30 01:23:01 AM

styckx: Yeah close up her face is 27 and "cute".


cute? Up close her face is 27 and devoid of a soul.
 
2012-11-30 01:23:21 AM
Is it just me or does homeboys wife look like she'd put on a mindblowing performance behind closed doors ??

- Dr. Rod Long , Longwood FL, United States, 30/11/2012 04:25


Awesome
 
2012-11-30 01:24:16 AM

pedobearapproved: you must not get out much, that's about average


I have the internet. that's kinda like getting out.
 
2012-11-30 01:25:25 AM

Fano: R.A.Danny: Violating the Mann Act on your wedding night? Priceless.

Does the Mann Act still exist?


I seem to recall some Viking football members were looking at Mann Act charges, for the party boating activities. Strippers, money, and carnal knowledge oh my!
 
2012-11-30 01:25:30 AM
And why 'DUMBASS' tag?
 
2012-11-30 01:27:26 AM
Never cross borders. If 17 is legal in your state, get someone in your state. And if it's not, they will find something to throw at you.

Seriously, is there that much of a difference between a 17 year old and an 18 year old? I mean we're talking the difference between someone in fall semester senior year versus spring semester. If it has to be her, hold the wedding after it's not prosecutable.
 
2012-11-30 01:29:53 AM
The honeymoon is off to a bumpy start, to say the least.
 
2012-11-30 01:29:54 AM
I'd be interested to know what "dating" site they used to meet her. In all reality they very well may have believed her to be 18 depending on how they actually met her. Still a really screwed up (and icky) situation, and unless they can prove she deceived them about her age they're screwed.
 
2012-11-30 01:30:05 AM
Oh this begs another question. Is there ANY setting those type of flips flops are acceptable? Flip flops are annoying as shiat but those rubbing shiat ones they've been making since the 70's and sold at dollar stores are gross. The sound of moist scummy peeling off the grimy rubber sole every "flip" and that wet smack with every "flop" just skeeves me out completely.
 
2012-11-30 01:32:43 AM
1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.
 
2012-11-30 01:33:22 AM

Apos: The honeymoon is off to a bumpy start, to say the least.


Because of the genital warts?
 
2012-11-30 01:33:24 AM

filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??


You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.
 
2012-11-30 01:35:14 AM

rko281: 1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.


Whowhatnow?
 
2012-11-30 01:37:12 AM

Spartacus Outlaw: styckx: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]

I guess her face looks about 27, although I probably would have guessed 32 to 35, but her body is 40's to 50's. Matronly.


Wow, I guess you have never seen a real woman naked up close.
 
2012-11-30 01:39:35 AM
Age of consent in Kentucky is 16...
Age of consent in Tennesee is 18...

This couple drove from Tennesee to Kentucky... Picked up a 17 year old (legal in Kentucky) and took her across state lines to Tennesee( Not legal and welcome to the Sex Offenders List)... Were all the shady pay by the hour motels full in Kentucky? These may be some of the dumbest people I have ever read about

/not condoning sex with a minor
//17 can consent IMHO
///You can't fix stupid
 
2012-11-30 01:39:46 AM

doglover: And I can't even find a girlfriend who will do the dishes.


Forget the dishes. I want a girlfriend who will do me.
 
2012-11-30 01:40:01 AM
So, "married last August" is "newlywed?"
 
2012-11-30 01:42:46 AM
Why does the Mail obsess about Americans so much? Aren't there plenty of yobs and chavs to make fun of in the UK?
 
2012-11-30 01:43:18 AM
Ah, good. My town makes the Fark news again. Why they drove all the way to Kentucky to get a girl, I'll never know. There's seems to be an unending supply of slutty teens around here they could have chosen from.
 
2012-11-30 01:44:00 AM
It's always unfortunate when a woman is shaped like a triangle

Damn, those calves are HUGE.
 
2012-11-30 01:45:25 AM

kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.


They wear Conehead rings, right?
 
2012-11-30 01:47:43 AM

TV's Vinnie: Why does the Mail obsess about Americans so much? Aren't there plenty of yobs and chavs to make fun of in the UK?


You must not read the Daily Fail much. They have no bias. What I learned from them myself is that the UK houses the largest population of batshiat insane women allergic to electromagnetic fields.
 
2012-11-30 01:48:03 AM

Maysin: Age of consent in Kentucky is 16...
Age of consent in Tennesee is 18...

This couple drove from Tennesee to Kentucky... Picked up a 17 year old (legal in Kentucky) and took her across state lines to Tennesee( Not legal and welcome to the Sex Offenders List)... Were all the shady pay by the hour motels full in Kentucky? These may be some of the dumbest people I have ever read about

/not condoning sex with a minor
//17 can consent IMHO
///You can't fix stupid


Yeah, I had to check teh Wiki real quick to see the age of consent numbers. Sounds like they should have stayed in Kentucky.
 
2012-11-30 01:48:26 AM

filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??


Penetration with clitdick
 
2012-11-30 01:50:47 AM

MFAWG: rko281: 1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.

Whowhatnow?


Sounds like Mitt Romney's new software upgrade didn't go well.
 
2012-11-30 01:52:00 AM
Some of the other stories on that site *shakes head*


i.dailymail.co.uk

"'Who's f*****g my daughter?': Crazed father turns up at girl's school swinging a chain and threatening students "
 
2012-11-30 01:53:12 AM

Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?


The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.
 
2012-11-30 01:56:56 AM
This had potential to be a hilarious photoplasty. Shame, subbers.
 
2012-11-30 02:01:07 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?

The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.


And you just described my former roommate and her girlfriend.
 
2012-11-30 02:02:38 AM

filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??


Pak31?
 
2012-11-30 02:07:49 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?

The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.


I have the most confused boner right now.
 
2012-11-30 02:09:00 AM
I saw the Amber Alert for the chick on Bowling Green TV last night.......after seeing what these two loosers look like, they musta been some smooth talkers to get her in the car......or the minor was very stupid.....she could have done much better.
 
2012-11-30 02:11:36 AM

fusillade762: MFAWG: rko281: 1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.

Whowhatnow?

Sounds like Mitt Romney's new software upgrade didn't go well.


The built up buthurt from the last two elections caused him to blow a gasket. It's been happening across the Right Wing world.
 
2012-11-30 02:14:11 AM
stuman69.raw

/can't believe it took this long
//yes I do have the file in .raw format
///hahaha no I don't
////it's in an obscure format you've probably never heard of
//over-under-age lesbian sex thread meme hipster
 
2012-11-30 02:18:45 AM
bonus hipster points for the ironically intentional misspelling.

/so hip it hurts, going back to my cave where I'm roasting free-range veal over a spit powered with carbon-neutral fuel to contemplate my mistakes and harvest my tears as seasoning for said veal.
 
2012-11-30 02:28:45 AM

OgreMagi: doglover: And I can't even find a girlfriend who will do the dishes.

Forget the dishes. I want a girlfriend who will do me.


HA HA! It's funny because SEX!
 
2012-11-30 02:38:20 AM

filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??


*icy queenly stare* Women, do not do such things.
 
2012-11-30 02:44:27 AM
Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?

i.dailymail.co.uk = www.marieclaire.com
 
2012-11-30 02:47:40 AM
i126.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-30 02:53:13 AM

1000 Ways to Dye: [i126.photobucket.com image 268x207]


So I guess that means that Danica Patrick and Ryan Styles hooked up?
 
2012-11-30 02:54:17 AM

tgambitg: 1000 Ways to Dye: [i126.photobucket.com image 268x207]

So I guess that means that Danica Patrick and Ryan StylesStiles hooked up?


FTFM, I knew it was wrong as soon as I clicked submit
 
2012-11-30 02:56:25 AM
Dude looks like he got the oxycontin hookup.
 
2012-11-30 03:03:02 AM

styckx: Spartacus Outlaw: styckx: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]

I guess her face looks about 27, although I probably would have guessed 32 to 35, but her body is 40's to 50's. Matronly.

Yeah close up her face is 27 and "cute". Zoom out and she instantly gains an extra chromosome.


Looks like that extra chromosome weighs about 30 lbs.
 
2012-11-30 03:07:14 AM
Scissor me timbers!
 
2012-11-30 03:11:15 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?

The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.


Snerked. Would snerk again.
 
2012-11-30 03:12:40 AM
Evidently, at present the Mann Act only applies to transporting women for purposes of prostitution or "illegal" sexual acts, whatever those are. Basically, it's been superceded by laws relating to sex trafficking and white slavery.

So now the questions are: Did he PAY this 17-year old girl, and did the girl and wifey do anything illegal, like have a three-way with an underage donkey?
 
2012-11-30 03:17:57 AM

Mega Steve: Ah, good. My town makes the Fark news again. Why they drove all the way to Kentucky to get a girl, I'll never know. There's seems to be an unending supply of slutty teens around here they could have chosen from.


Lucky you.

Where I live, our natural resources consist of timber and coal. The slutty teen resource is more valuable then both of those combined!

/I feel cheated
 
2012-11-30 03:25:20 AM
I must say, I do not find lantern jaws on women to be remotely appealing. Nosir, not appealing at all.
 
2012-11-30 03:27:42 AM
Pretty sure a 17 year old trolling the internet and agreeing to get into a car with strangers is not a victim. These laws are stupid.
The guy looks like a real dweeb.
 
2012-11-30 03:38:42 AM
This marks the first time in history anyone has ever thought, "I should have stayed in Kentucky."
 
2012-11-30 03:39:51 AM

buckler: I must say, I do not find lantern jaws on women to be remotely appealing. Nosir, not appealing at all.


No Palin for you in '16!
 
2012-11-30 03:47:45 AM

pissedoffmick: I was not offered that option.


Done in one.
 
2012-11-30 03:55:22 AM
They met each other through an online dating site
 
2012-11-30 05:15:54 AM
The arresting officer:
i430.photobucket.com
 
2012-11-30 05:17:15 AM

Ludovico_D_Technique_Esq: Some of the other stories on that site *shakes head*




"'Who's f*****g my daughter?': Crazed father turns up at girl's school swinging a chain and threatening students "


THIS! So much THIS! or how about the one about the coach congratulating the freshmen soccer players on a successful hazing/anal rape? Really, all the worst things in the world are in the Mail.

I love that pic. He's all "come at me, brotographer!"
 
2012-11-30 05:22:43 AM

TV's Vinnie: Why does the Mail entire world obsess about Americans so much?

 
2012-11-30 05:31:20 AM
OK Sentencing:

Man: 20+ years, register for life as a sex offender.

Woman: probation, and no registration.

And it was the women who admitted she was going to have sex with her.
I bet you 2 internets.
 
2012-11-30 05:32:36 AM
Greetings, Professor Falken
 
2012-11-30 05:51:06 AM

Gyrfalcon: Evidently, at present the Mann Act only applies to transporting women for purposes of prostitution or "illegal" sexual acts, whatever those are. Basically, it's been superceded by laws relating to sex trafficking and white slavery.

So now the questions are: Did he PAY this 17-year old girl, and did the girl and wifey do anything illegal, like have a three-way with an underage donkey?


Falcon, Zombie Mann Act might apply because girl was a minor and purpose for which transported was illegal in Tennessee. TFA highlights crossing of state line but nothing there or the Tennessean piece says they were charged by federal prosecutors under Mann Act. If they were charged only under Tennessee law they are in better shape because no crime under Tennessee law was completed, only attempted -- amirite? -- whereas a Mann Act violation may have been actually completed.
 
2012-11-30 06:03:03 AM
 
2012-11-30 06:03:47 AM
The guy was charged with enviable prowess across state lines.
 
2012-11-30 06:04:58 AM

illannoyin: This just in!

Link to the wedding video


/lol just....just wow.
 
2012-11-30 06:06:40 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.


Now, there's a reality tv program I would watch.
 
2012-11-30 06:21:25 AM

sexorcisst: illannoyin: This just in!

Link to the wedding video

/lol just....just wow.


Is that really them? Looks like she gained 30-40 pounds after they got married and he lost about the same amount, and dyed his hair. She looks a lot better in the video.
 
2012-11-30 06:21:29 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Why didn't the wife just have sex with the girl in Kentucky? Why did they need to take her back to Tennessee?

Here I am, a dirty old man, and I just don't understand how these things are supposed to work. I guess it's time to check in at the nursing home. Hopefully they'll be having meatloaf and pudding tonight...


♫...I would do anything for love, but I won't do that ♫
 
2012-11-30 06:26:22 AM
Is the word "fun" code for something? Every cheating Facebook profile seems to have that word in it.... i'm intrigued.
 
2012-11-30 06:27:18 AM
She is 17, She is legal age. The Mann act is a joke.
 
2012-11-30 06:33:24 AM
listen FARK-wads, subby's was not a rhetorical question and demands an answer and the answer is most assuredly, "YES".
 
2012-11-30 06:36:03 AM

tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423] = [www.marieclaire.com image 300x400]


Not really... although she could be Danica Patrick's retarded Down Syndrome sister I suppose.
 
2012-11-30 06:43:39 AM

4tehsnowflakes: Gyrfalcon: Evidently, at present the Mann Act only applies to transporting women for purposes of prostitution or "illegal" sexual acts, whatever those are. Basically, it's been superceded by laws relating to sex trafficking and white slavery.

So now the questions are: Did he PAY this 17-year old girl, and did the girl and wifey do anything illegal, like have a three-way with an underage donkey?

Falcon, Zombie Mann Act might apply because girl was a minor and purpose for which transported was illegal in Tennessee. TFA highlights crossing of state line but nothing there or the Tennessean piece says they were charged by federal prosecutors under Mann Act. If they were charged only under Tennessee law they are in better shape because no crime under Tennessee law was completed, only attempted -- amirite? -- whereas a Mann Act violation may have been actually completed.


So, crossing that imaginary border somehow makes the crime more serious? What's the logic in that, other than a lame excuse to fill up prisons?

Oh, USA. Land of "freedom". Gotcha.
 
2012-11-30 06:48:14 AM

styckx: Spartacus Outlaw: styckx: [i.imgur.com image 600x800]

I guess her face looks about 27, although I probably would have guessed 32 to 35, but her body is 40's to 50's. Matronly.

Yeah close up her face is 27 and "cute". Zoom out and she instantly gains an extra chromosome.


The camera adds 10 chromosomes.
 
2012-11-30 06:50:15 AM

Day_Old_Dutchie: So, crossing that imaginary border somehow makes the crime more serious? What's the logic in that, other than a lame excuse to fill up prisons?

Oh, USA. Land of "freedom". Gotcha.


If I were the prosecutor I'd kick it, buy the couple a beer and tell the cops to bring me a real crime. But state lines do matter in the US.
 
2012-11-30 06:58:31 AM

tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?



I think she looks like Angie Harmon

i.dailymail.co.ukwww.film.com
 
2012-11-30 07:00:19 AM

TV's Vinnie: Why does the Mail obsess about Americans so much? Aren't there plenty of yobs and chavs to make fun of in the UK?


Because the MailOnline is the world's most visited "news" site. A lot of its US coverage comes from its NY and LA offices.
 
2012-11-30 07:10:26 AM
I remeber when the wife and I were newlyweds and we would cross state lines to meet underaged girls...what happened to the romance?
 
2012-11-30 07:17:03 AM
1. Depends on the state(s) involved. Some places, 17 is legal.
2. If you so much as think you might be committing a crime, don't cross state lines.
 
2012-11-30 07:23:49 AM
If any story deserves the Hero tag, it's this one.
 
2012-11-30 07:32:37 AM

log_jammin: styckx: Yeah close up her face is 27 and "cute".

cute? Up close her face is 27 and devoid of a soul.


That's the definition of "cute" in my dictionary.
 
2012-11-30 07:33:25 AM

Ludovico_D_Technique_Esq: Some of the other stories on that site *shakes head*


[i.dailymail.co.uk image 308x425]

"'Who's f*****g my daughter?': Crazed father turns up at girl's school swinging a chain and threatening students "


i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2012-11-30 07:38:21 AM

GAT_00: Ah Crossville. The land of shiatty wine, old people golfing and absolutely nothing of value.


You know enough about Crossville to have beliefs about it? I'm flattered. Also relieved I didn't recognize either of these people, although statistically speaking I had to have been in the same room with one or the other of them at some point in my life.

/former manager of the only cinema in the town
 
2012-11-30 07:47:58 AM
If a woman goes both ways, that's an instant +2 on attractiveness.
 
2012-11-30 07:49:37 AM

sexorcisst: They met each other through an online dating site


That site has more Trojans than homeboy on his wedding night
 
2012-11-30 07:50:45 AM
I'll just leave this here... 

blog.zap2it.com
 
2012-11-30 07:54:34 AM

PreMortem: I'll just leave this here... 

[blog.zap2it.com image 500x550]


thanks, whew!

Banjo's everywhere
 
2012-11-30 08:00:33 AM

I AM THE GOAT: Krieghund: That dude must be rich.

Or really hung


Or a drug dealer
 
2012-11-30 08:03:46 AM

PreMortem: I'll just leave this here... 

[blog.zap2it.com image 500x550]


Ha! Good point
 
2012-11-30 08:04:14 AM

ongbok: fusillade762: MFAWG: rko281: 1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.

Whowhatnow?

Sounds like Mitt Romney's new software upgrade didn't go well.

The built up buthurt from the last two elections caused him to blow a gasket. It's been happening across the Right Wing world.


LOL, I see someone is mentally suppressing the 2010 elections. Experts estimate you'll need to suppress that for a couple of decades.
 
2012-11-30 08:17:14 AM

Turbo Cojones: sexorcisst: They met each other through an online dating site

That site has more Trojans than homeboy on his wedding night


If that is the case-mods please delete post.
 
2012-11-30 08:19:26 AM
I'm old and married nOw, but if I was online dating again and saw the line " I like having fun " in a prOfile , I'd send them grumpy cat " I had fun once . It was awful".

/ csb
 
2012-11-30 08:23:26 AM

rko281: 1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.


derp harder.
 
2012-11-30 08:30:23 AM
When I was 17, I dated a 21 year old. Whose last name was Mann.

There were some jokes made.
 
2012-11-30 08:34:02 AM

4tehsnowflakes:

Is that really them? Looks like she gained 30-40 pounds after they got married and he lost about the same amount, and dyed his hair. She looks a lot better in the video.


Drugs
 
2012-11-30 08:36:30 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

userserve-ak.last.fm
 
2012-11-30 08:40:26 AM

phaseolus: I AM THE GOAT: Krieghund: That dude must be rich.

Or really hung

Or a drug dealer


3 C's rule:

Cock
Cash
Cocaine

You got at least 2 of the 3 and she'll marry you...
 
2012-11-30 08:49:12 AM

ckevinc: The arresting officer:
[i430.photobucket.com image 481x256]


Bank robbery is baby shiat alongside of what this dude is doin'!
 
2012-11-30 08:49:25 AM

PreMortem: I'll just leave this here... 

[blog.zap2it.com image 500x550]


It's sad that such a pretty girl/woman messed herself up enough so that she looks much older and skankier.
 
2012-11-30 08:50:57 AM
One day, a zookeeper at a state zoo was looking out at the aquatic exhibit, and saw that all the dolphins were basically having a huge orgy out in the middle of the water. Faced with 10 school trips coming that day, he couldn't have them all getting it on in the water. He remembered reading somewhere that a lunch of baby seagulls would usually pull dolphins out of their amorous condition, so he called for his assistant. He told his assistant what he needed, and off he went to go and get baby seagulls. His trip to the aviary went smoothly enough, but on the way back, he decided to take a shortcut through the lion exhibit. While cutting through a narrow stretch, he came upon a lion sleeping across the path. He thought for a moment, then very carefully stepped over the snoozing feline. He continued through the lion exhibit, and came out the other side. Just then, a police officer runs up and tells him he's under arrest. The assistant asks what the charge is. The police officer replies: "Transporting young gulls across the state's lion for immoral porpoises."

/Thanks, I'll be here all week.
 
2012-11-30 08:55:46 AM
Came to see an Angie Harmon pic. Thank you Fark peeps! You always satisfy.
 
2012-11-30 08:56:44 AM

Greek: One day, a zookeeper at a state zoo was looking out at the aquatic exhibit, and saw that all the dolphins were basically having a huge orgy out in the middle of the water. Faced with 10 school trips coming that day, he couldn't have them all getting it on in the water. He remembered reading somewhere that a lunch of baby seagulls would usually pull dolphins out of their amorous condition, so he called for his assistant. He told his assistant what he needed, and off he went to go and get baby seagulls. His trip to the aviary went smoothly enough, but on the way back, he decided to take a shortcut through the lion exhibit. While cutting through a narrow stretch, he came upon a lion sleeping across the path. He thought for a moment, then very carefully stepped over the snoozing feline. He continued through the lion exhibit, and came out the other side. Just then, a police officer runs up and tells him he's under arrest. The assistant asks what the charge is. The police officer replies: "Transporting young gulls across the state's lion for immoral porpoises."

/Thanks, I'll be here all week.


Hurls rotten produce at you.
 
2012-11-30 08:58:05 AM
It is Kentucky. Were they related to her?
 
2012-11-30 09:03:28 AM

BolloxReader: Never cross borders. If 17 is legal in your state, get someone in your state. And if it's not, they will find something to throw at you.

Seriously, is there that much of a difference between a 17 year old and an 18 year old? I mean we're talking the difference between someone in fall semester senior year versus spring semester. If it has to be her, hold the wedding after it's not prosecutable.


I think they call that difference a "year."
 
2012-11-30 09:04:23 AM
So, how did they get caught?
 
2012-11-30 09:06:49 AM

Rev. Skarekroe: [i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]

[userserve-ak.last.fm image 252x367]


Yikes! You just know her coochie is rather smelly and unkempt........
 
2012-11-30 09:09:06 AM

david_gaithersburg: ongbok: fusillade762: MFAWG: rko281: 1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.

Whowhatnow?

Sounds like Mitt Romney's new software upgrade didn't go well.

The built up buthurt from the last two elections caused him to blow a gasket. It's been happening across the Right Wing world.

That was amusing. The joke America played on the world's economy. It looks like they are planning to repeat the punch line in a few weeks, in case anyone didn't get it the first time.
Look out for that cliff, Wile E.!

LOL, I see someone is mentally suppressing the 2010 elections. Experts estimate you'll need to suppress that for a couple of decades.

 
2012-11-30 09:10:29 AM
Could they not have made up another story?
1. Going to a Church Retreat.
2. Staying with us for a job interview.
3. Taking her to see relatives?

Why did the guy give the cops his phone?

So many questions.
 
2012-11-30 09:11:17 AM

ZAZ: I just wanted to say I don't have a wife half my age who helps me bring home girls one third my age. And now my day is ruined because I know somebody out there does. Good thing there are only 15 minutes left in the day. Time to go to bed. Maybe tomorrow I'll get lucky.


even worse.. he looks like that dude.
 
2012-11-30 09:12:55 AM

Greek: One day, a zookeeper at a state zoo was looking out at the aquatic exhibit, and saw that all the dolphins were basically having a huge orgy out in the middle of the water. Faced with 10 school trips coming that day, he couldn't have them all getting it on in the water. He remembered reading somewhere that a lunch of baby seagulls would usually pull dolphins out of their amorous condition, so he called for his assistant. He told his assistant what he needed, and off he went to go and get baby seagulls. His trip to the aviary went smoothly enough, but on the way back, he decided to take a shortcut through the lion exhibit. While cutting through a narrow stretch, he came upon a lion sleeping across the path. He thought for a moment, then very carefully stepped over the snoozing feline. He continued through the lion exhibit, and came out the other side. Just then, a police officer runs up and tells him he's under arrest. The assistant asks what the charge is. The police officer replies: "Transporting young gulls across the state's lion for immoral porpoises."

/Thanks, I'll be here all week.


Nice attempt at a spentmiles post, but you failed, massively.
 
2012-11-30 09:15:00 AM

pissedoffmick: I was not offered that option.


WEll you're not as sexy as this hunk, obviously.
 
2012-11-30 09:17:36 AM

styckx: Oh this begs another question. Is there ANY setting those type of flips flops are acceptable? Flip flops are annoying as shiat but those rubbing shiat ones they've been making since the 70's and sold at dollar stores are gross. The sound of moist scummy peeling off the grimy rubber sole every "flip" and that wet smack with every "flop" just skeeves me out completely.


they only do that if they are moist.
 
2012-11-30 09:19:29 AM

boinkingbill: She is 17, She is legal age. The Mann act is a joke.


Get up, get, get, get down.
 
2012-11-30 09:22:23 AM
It seems to me that just ignoring the specifics of age of consent laws, and assuming that it's ALWAYS 18 would probably serve most folks well.

Better safe than sorry.
 
2012-11-30 09:28:42 AM

PreMortem: I'll just leave this here... 

[blog.zap2it.com image 500x550]


Damn! Look at those pumpkins!
 
2012-11-30 09:32:54 AM
4.bp.blogspot.com

Damn, If Only...

I also wanted to add that Im assuming that neither ome of them has a younger sister.
 
2012-11-30 09:36:16 AM
wanderingjew.typepad.com

It Tennessee, that's tradition!
 
2012-11-30 09:42:44 AM

big sugi: So, "married last August" is "newlywed?"


I agree with you, but I have heard newlywed used for the first year. I think because it starts getting shiatty after that.
 
2012-11-30 09:44:26 AM
This dude blew his threeway because he forgot to use his turn signal. Holy hell does that suck.

/Are TN cops so bored they need to go after turn signal scofflaws?
//In the northeast, using a turn signal is considered a sign of weakness
 
2012-11-30 09:46:50 AM
If I ever get married I doubt my wife will be as cool as that.

/Has a sad
 
2012-11-30 09:48:34 AM

maggoo: tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?


I think she looks like Angie Harmon


You need a goddamn eye transplant.
 
2012-11-30 09:48:52 AM
Why do I hear banjo music?
 
2012-11-30 09:49:09 AM

big sugi: So, "married last August" is "newlywed?"


The Newlywed Game gives you two years to be called "newlywed". I believe they are the official arbiter.
 
2012-11-30 09:52:13 AM
Nashville police pulled Michael McCarrell over Wednesday on Murfreesboro Road for failing to use his turn signal

Do police actually do that? They could fund the entire department if they started doing that in Memphis. I'm thinking something is fishy here.
 
2012-11-30 09:54:03 AM
I can't quite tell if those are her upper teeth or her lower teeth...

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-30 09:57:36 AM
trappedspirit

I thought it was obviously a pretext stop. Cop saw three people acting funny and decided to check them out. Where I live the law says keep right except to pass. That law is strictly enforced against people who look like drug dealers and not against sloppy drivers in general.  (Serious advice here: If you look like a drug dealer, drive 64 mph in the right lane when entering Massachusetts on I-84. The cop in the median will have to work harder to come up with an excuse to stop you and it might not be worth his while. Once you get past the tolls you can go 70 in the middle lane.)
 
2012-11-30 10:00:18 AM

trappedspirit: Nashville police pulled Michael McCarrell over Wednesday on Murfreesboro Road for failing to use his turn signal

Do police actually do that? They could fund the entire department if they started doing that in Memphis. I'm thinking something is fishy here.


It gives them the opportunity to check you out for other things. Many drug busts are the result of being stopped for a very minor traffic infraction. A guy in a business suit rolling through a stop sign? He gets a pass, but somebody that looks like this dude isn't so lucky.
 
2012-11-30 10:02:59 AM

rocketpants: maggoo: tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?

I think she looks like Angie Harmon


You both need a goddamn eye transplant.


FTFM
 
2012-11-30 10:04:39 AM
DJ Qualls is looking pretty rough these days
 
2012-11-30 10:11:51 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Apos: The honeymoon is off to a bumpy start, to say the least.

Because of the genital warts?


Those are love nubs, you know, for her enjoyment.
 
2012-11-30 10:13:08 AM

Maysin: Age of consent in Kentucky is 16...
Age of consent in Tennesee is 18...

This couple drove from Tennesee to Kentucky... Picked up a 17 year old (legal in Kentucky) and took her across state lines to Tennesee( Not legal and welcome to the Sex Offenders List)... Were all the shady pay by the hour motels full in Kentucky? These may be some of the dumbest people I have ever read about

/not condoning sex with a minor
//17 can consent IMHO
///You can't fix stupid


Hotels cost money. And if they did it at the 17-year-old's house, her daddy would probably want to join in.

Is there a dumber and less meaningful border than a state line? These rednecks probably have no idea that Tennessee and Kentucky have different laws.
 
2012-11-30 10:15:31 AM

myspamhere: OK Sentencing:

Man: 20+ years, register for life as a sex offender.

Woman: probation, and no registration.

And it was the women who admitted she was going to have sex with her.
I bet you 2 internets.


That would be a sucker bet...mostly because you are correct.
 
2012-11-30 10:17:42 AM
This just seems like one of those states rights issues.

The Age of consent is 16 is Kentucky (where they got the chick) but it's 18 in Tennessee (where they took the chick).

If they had stayed in Kentucky they would have been able to fark her with no strings attached. Ropes maybe, but not strings.
 
2012-11-30 10:21:14 AM
Because NONE of you would bang a 17 years old. But 365 five days later...well...NOW they're hot!
 
2012-11-30 10:21:57 AM
As you can see from my comment above, it's too early to be typing. Good day everyone.
 
2012-11-30 10:23:04 AM

BeezyBates: Because NONE of you would bang a 17 years old. But 365 five days later...well...NOW they're hot!


There are plenty of very VERY good looking and more mature looking 16 and 17 year old women that I would just drool over. I'd rather spend a year waiting than spend 10 in prison though.
 
2012-11-30 10:23:48 AM

Generation_D: When I was 17, I dated a 21 year old. Whose last name was Mann.

There were some jokes made.


Was her first name "Ima"?
 
2012-11-30 10:25:40 AM

BarkingUnicorn: Fano: R.A.Danny: Violating the Mann Act on your wedding night? Priceless.

Does the Mann Act still exist?

Yes, but its originally vague language has been refined to prohibit interstate transport of persons for purposes of prostitution or illegal sex acts... like sex with a minor.


So I can pick up white girls in my convertible and drive anywhere I want now?

///Black boxer
 
2012-11-30 10:26:32 AM

illannoyin: This just in!

Link to the wedding video


*Jaw drops*
 
2012-11-30 10:26:36 AM

R.A.Danny: BeezyBates: Because NONE of you would bang a 17 years old. But 365 five days later...well...NOW they're hot!

There are plenty of very VERY good looking and more mature looking 16 and 17 year old women that I would just drool over. I'd rather spend a year waiting than spend 10 in prison though.


There are 30 states where the age of consent is as low as 16. Just saying you might not have to wait.......
 
2012-11-30 10:27:31 AM

KrispyKritter: Fark Me To Tears: Why didn't the wife just have sex with the girl in Kentucky? Why did they need to take her back to Tennessee?

Here I am, a dirty old man, and I just don't understand how these things are supposed to work. I guess it's time to check in at the nursing home. Hopefully they'll be having meatloaf and pudding tonight...

i love meatloaf and pudding night. always mashed taters & gravy plus corn on the side. choose between vanilla, chocolate or tapioca pudding. meal fit for a king.

/haven't been laid in forever


Yesterday you were spending all your money on pussy and drugs. What's the deal?

////This is the first time I've been a Fark stalker so I'm not sure I'm doing it right.
 
2012-11-30 10:28:45 AM

RodneyToady: o the best of my knowledge, this would be legal in NY, as 17 is the age of consent here.

So, legal here, illegal and probably placed on a sex offender registry there.


It isn't legal in NY to transport a minor across state lines for sexual purposes, even if they are 17.
 
2012-11-30 10:38:00 AM

rko281: 1) How can it be we elected Hussein Dumbass, 2) We must hold the straight up morons accountable for their stupidity, 3) Yes, they must go first - layoffs, pink slips, downsizing, etc - they must be held accountable.


"Anger leads to hate, hate leads to fear and fear leads to asshatness." Yoda.
 
2012-11-30 10:39:08 AM

tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423] = [www.marieclaire.com image 300x400]


No. No one. May I have some of your drugs, though? I'm hoping to make sexy time with Adriana Lima tonight but the only person in my bed will be my wife. Again.
 
2012-11-30 10:41:05 AM

trappedspirit: Nashville police pulled Michael McCarrell over Wednesday on Murfreesboro Road for failing to use his turn signal

Do police actually do that? They could fund the entire department if they started doing that in Memphis. I'm thinking something is fishy here.


my right rear turn signal has gone out, I couldn't get the casing to pop to replace it so I'll probably have to take it to the dealership to have them do it for me. But seeing as how I'm in Memphis I haven't bothered, not like anyone else uses their turn signals anyways. (always use my signals before... now I fit right in)
 
2012-11-30 10:42:53 AM
maggoo

"I think she looks like Angie Harmon"

With a moniker like maggoo, that explains it.
 
2012-11-30 10:44:20 AM
I am trying to figure out why this would be a crime and who was a victim. So far I have got nothing.
 
2012-11-30 10:48:40 AM
Look, they met this girl on okcupid which has a age limit of 18+. She had to lie about her age to get on there. They advertised as "couple looking for girl for sex with wife while husband watches" or something like that. They posted photos probably around their wedding time where the wife looked hotter. So this girl answers, they exchange more photos and "across state lines" is probably what, without looking at a map, 20 miles each way? So they make plans to pick her up, bring her home for the night and take her back in the morning. Sounds simple enough.

So no turn signal, cop pulls them over, gets everyone out of the car so he could look for drugs or whatever, asks everyone for ID. He sees she is an unrelated minor from another state. What is going on here? He asks what their purpose was, they start out with a lie. She's my cousin, uh she is or baby sitter, uh, she is uh... they end up telling the truth and are taken to jail. Seems pretty straight forward. If I was on that Jury I would find them not guilty. If I was the prosecutor I would throw the case out and admonish the officer for wasting my time. But I guess that isn't going to happen for whatever reason.

Oh well.
 
2012-11-30 10:48:45 AM

Profedius: I am trying to figure out why this would be a crime and who was a victim. So far I have got nothing.


The state of Kentucky is the victim because one of their chicks was taken to Tennessee.
 
2012-11-30 10:50:27 AM
I once had a 21 year old teacher transport me around Tennessee for immoral purposes when I was 17. She was never charged and is now principal of a Christian elementary school. Where was the government when I was being abused, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, behind krogers, at a tanning salon, in the back of her blazer? We were even caught by the sheriffs department at a rock quarry, yet no one acted to protect me from this vicious criminal. I feel I'm entitled to reparations.
 
2012-11-30 10:50:37 AM

mpfjr: Look, they met this girl on okcupid which has a age limit of 18+. She had to lie about her age to get on there. They advertised as "couple looking for girl for sex with wife while husband watches" or something like that. They posted photos probably around their wedding time where the wife looked hotter. So this girl answers, they exchange more photos and "across state lines" is probably what, without looking at a map, 20 miles each way? So they make plans to pick her up, bring her home for the night and take her back in the morning. Sounds simple enough.

So no turn signal, cop pulls them over, gets everyone out of the car so he could look for drugs or whatever, asks everyone for ID. He sees she is an unrelated minor from another state. What is going on here? He asks what their purpose was, they start out with a lie. She's my cousin, uh she is or baby sitter, uh, she is uh... they end up telling the truth and are taken to jail. Seems pretty straight forward. If I was on that Jury I would find them not guilty. If I was the prosecutor I would throw the case out and admonish the officer for wasting my time. But I guess that isn't going to happen for whatever reason.

Oh well.


/CSB/

The first two chicks I met on OKC were both 16 ... I was 21 ... after being skeeved just a little bit, I realized Ohio was a Age 16 state ... NFG, I suppose ... O_o
 
2012-11-30 10:54:36 AM

JerkStore: I can't quite tell if those are her upper teeth or her lower teeth...

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 306x423]


Upper. Note curve at top where they would meet the gums.
 
2012-11-30 10:58:29 AM
i.dailymail.co.uk

He looks like Turtle Man..."LIVE ACTION" 

st.snimg.com
 
2012-11-30 10:59:35 AM

ChrisDe: R.A.Danny: BeezyBates: Because NONE of you would bang a 17 years old. But 365 five days later...well...NOW they're hot!

There are plenty of very VERY good looking and more mature looking 16 and 17 year old women that I would just drool over. I'd rather spend a year waiting than spend 10 in prison though.

There are 30 states where the age of consent is as low as 16. Just saying you might not have to wait.......


Wasn't really my point, but yeah.
 
2012-11-30 11:00:01 AM

Bender The Offender: I once had a 21 year old teacher transport me around Tennessee for immoral purposes when I was 17. She was never charged and is now principal of a Christian elementary school. Where was the government when I was being abused, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, behind krogers, at a tanning salon, in the back of her blazer? We were even caught by the sheriffs department at a rock quarry, yet no one acted to protect me from this vicious criminal. I feel I'm entitled to reparations.


The back of her blazer? I hope the dry cleaners were able to treat that stain.
 
2012-11-30 11:04:37 AM
Sweet Barking Buddha, standards have lowered
 
2012-11-30 11:05:45 AM

mpfjr: Look, they met this girl on okcupid which has a age limit of 18+. She had to lie about her age to get on there. They advertised as "couple looking for girl for sex with wife while husband watches" or something like that. They posted photos probably around their wedding time where the wife looked hotter. So this girl answers, they exchange more photos and "across state lines" is probably what, without looking at a map, 20 miles each way? So they make plans to pick her up, bring her home for the night and take her back in the morning. Sounds simple enough.

So no turn signal, cop pulls them over, gets everyone out of the car so he could look for drugs or whatever, asks everyone for ID. He sees she is an unrelated minor from another state. What is going on here? He asks what their purpose was, they start out with a lie. She's my cousin, uh she is or baby sitter, uh, she is uh... they end up telling the truth and are taken to jail. Seems pretty straight forward. If I was on that Jury I would find them not guilty. If I was the prosecutor I would throw the case out and admonish the officer for wasting my time. But I guess that isn't going to happen for whatever reason.

Oh well.


Stop trying to apply common sense to the legal system. You'll only drive yourself mad.
 
2012-11-30 11:06:20 AM

TheHappTroll: So, how did they get caught?


Apparently they not only were horny but criminally gabby as well. Doesn't anyone remember how to deal with the police? Don't talk to them. EVER!

How the stop should have gone:

Dude: After rolling window down: Hello Offficer. What can I do for you?
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Dude: No.
Officer : I pulled you over due to failure to signal (or whatever it was).
Dude: I'm sorry officer.
Officer: Please give me your licence, registration and insurance
Dude:
Officer: Thank you
Officer: Here's your ticket
Dude:

If the officer gets nosy about the 2 chicks "This is my wife and a/her friend - we just got married".

Note: Never volunteer anything. Ever.

Anything else beyond that you say "Am I under arrest?" followed by "Can I go now?"

Dumbasses. 

I mean how does "This is some 17 year old chick we picked up for muffin munching next state over" ever come up in a traffic stop?
 
2012-11-30 11:08:38 AM
She is cute? She has a body like a pear and the face of a 45 year old. Eww.

Although sounds like hubby was just gonna get to watch
 
2012-11-30 11:13:13 AM
That girl looks like prime time cult material. If I had a cult, I could totally get her....
 
2012-11-30 11:15:41 AM
Kentucky. Tennessee. Whatever. It's what they do there. Leave it be.
 
2012-11-30 11:16:25 AM

I AM THE GOAT: Krieghund: That dude must be rich.

Or really hung


He must work out.
 
2012-11-30 11:19:05 AM

Rex Kramer - Danger Seeker: That girl looks like prime time cult material. If I had a cult, I could totally get her....


I have a feeling a six pack of bud light would be a simpler way to earn her favors.
 
2012-11-30 11:29:30 AM

MadHatter500: Note: Never volunteer anything. Ever.

Anything else beyond that you say "Am I under arrest?" followed by "Can I go now?"

Dumbasses. 

I mean how does "This is some 17 year old chick we picked up for muffin munching next state over" ever come up in a traffic stop?


He was probably telling *everybody*.
 
2012-11-30 11:36:56 AM
Do you even have to ask?
 
2012-11-30 11:43:29 AM
maggoo: tgambitg: Anyone else think she looks like Danica Patrick?


I think she looks like Angie Harmon

Well, they both have ears and two eyes, so I guess you're right...
 
2012-11-30 11:47:04 AM

mpfjr: Look, they met this girl on okcupid which has a age limit of 18+. She had to lie about her age to get on there. They advertised as "couple looking for girl for sex with wife while husband watches" or something like that. They posted photos probably around their wedding time where the wife looked hotter. So this girl answers, they exchange more photos and "across state lines" is probably what, without looking at a map, 20 miles each way? So they make plans to pick her up, bring her home for the night and take her back in the morning. Sounds simple enough.

So no turn signal, cop pulls them over, gets everyone out of the car so he could look for drugs or whatever, asks everyone for ID. He sees she is an unrelated minor from another state. What is going on here? He asks what their purpose was, they start out with a lie. She's my cousin, uh she is or baby sitter, uh, she is uh... they end up telling the truth and are taken to jail. Seems pretty straight forward. If I was on that Jury I would find them not guilty. If I was the prosecutor I would throw the case out and admonish the officer for wasting my time. But I guess that isn't going to happen for whatever reason.

Oh well.


This.
 
2012-11-30 12:09:10 PM

JerkStore: I can't quite tell if those are her upper teeth or her lower teeth...


upload.wikimedia.org
Has no farkin' clue what you're getting at...
 
2012-11-30 12:15:56 PM
APparently they forgot to bring their "1 Year off" coupon...
 
2012-11-30 12:31:14 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2012-11-30 12:37:50 PM

IamAwake: It isn't legal in NY to transport a minor across state lines for sexual purposes, even if they are 17.


Age of consent in NJ and CT appears to be 16. So you're saying it's illegal for a NYer to pick up a 17 year old in CT for sexual purposes?
 
2012-11-30 01:19:54 PM

IamAwake: It isn't legal in NY to transport a minor across state lines for sexual purposes, even if they are 17.


I think you mean, "in America". Once you cross state lines federal laws apply.

You guys keep forgetting to mention that you aren't lawyers! Lying may be fun but how will you feel when someone spends their life in jail because of some dumb thing you said to look smart but actually parades your ignorance.
 
2012-11-30 01:22:06 PM
I'm not endorsing this sort of thing. How did all this happen is my main question. Was there an amber alert out and they didn't hide the willing girl? Was it just a luckly spot by the cop? Who gets pulled over then spills the beans like that? Did it go:
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Whitetrashhick: Because I was transporting a 17 year old for some three way sex.
Officer: No, failure to signal. Please step out of the car
Whitetrashhick: Woops
 
2012-11-30 01:43:39 PM

justanotherfarkinfarker: I'm not endorsing this sort of thing. How did all this happen is my main question. Was there an amber alert out and they didn't hide the willing girl? Was it just a luckly spot by the cop? Who gets pulled over then spills the beans like that? Did it go:
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Whitetrashhick: Because I was transporting a 17 year old for some three way sex.
Officer: No, failure to signal. Please step out of the car
Whitetrashhick: Woops

How many vehicles have a middle seat nowadays? I am wondering if she did not have a seat belt on or maybe not even a real seat to sit in?
 
2012-11-30 02:17:32 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk


"Almost there, quit squirming!"
 
2012-11-30 02:22:10 PM

kisseswookies: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?

The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.

And you just described my former roommate and her girlfriend.


This sounds like the definition to your Fark handle. I should hop over to urbandictionary.com and write it up ;)
 
2012-11-30 02:24:42 PM

4nik8tor: kisseswookies: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Fano: kisseswookies: filter: Huh?! How can a woman have 'sex' with another woman? How is that even possible??

You have a very limited view of what sex is. I'm sorry.

They wear Conehead rings, right?

The butchier one uses her gnarled fist as a makeshift erection and thrusts it into the less butchy one's hole, while they argue with each other about who has the best flat-top.

And you just described my former roommate and her girlfriend.

This sounds like the definition to your Fark handle. I should hop over to urbandictionary.com and write it up ;)


Quoted the wrong one...meant to quote The Angry Hand of God post

/oops
 
2012-11-30 02:45:07 PM
Drivin' through people's backyards, knockin' down mailboxes.
He's got a broad in the car,took her across the state line. That's the Mann Act.
I don't think he's got her permission, and that's kidnapping.

a2.twimg.com
 
2012-11-30 02:51:00 PM
HERO tag should have been used.
 
2012-11-30 02:56:50 PM

ZAZ: trappedspirit

I thought it was obviously a pretext stop. Cop saw three people acting funny and decided to check them out. Where I live the law says keep right except to pass. That law is strictly enforced against people who look like drug dealers and not against sloppy drivers in general.  (Serious advice here: If you look like a drug dealer, drive 64 mph in the right lane when entering Massachusetts on I-84. The cop in the median will have to work harder to come up with an excuse to stop you and it might not be worth his while. Once you get past the tolls you can go 70 in the middle lane.)


And *that* is why I bought a minivan. Now I can go 80 with a hundred pounds of black tar heroin with no fear of getting pulled over.
(Seriously, minivan plus kids means I no longer even get held up for 30 seconds coming down from Montreal to Boston, where they once would pull the spare out from the trunk-well to search it.)
 
2012-11-30 03:08:57 PM
There are places where 17 is illegal?
 
2012-11-30 03:11:20 PM

LL316: There are places where 17 is illegal?


One place comes to mind: The backseat of a Volkswagen.
 
2012-11-30 03:35:20 PM
I'll bet he was planning on eating an ice cream cone while he watched them. If he timed it just right, the cone would be empty while they came.
 
2012-11-30 03:55:05 PM
i.imgur.com


Now nobody's saying the Chatsworth Estates is the Garden of Eden. At least I don't think they are. But it has been a good home to us. To me Frank Gallagher and me kids who I'm proud of cause every single one them reminds me a little of me. They can all think for themselves which they've got me to thank for.

Fiona who's a big help. A massive help.

Lip who's a bit of a gob shiate which is why nobody calls him Phillip anymore.

Ian a lot like his mom which is handy for the others because she's disappeared into thin air and good luck to her.

And Carl we daren't let him grow his hair for two reasons. One it makes it stands on ends and looks like Toyah and two the nits love it.

Debbie sent by God. Total angel. You have to check your change but she'll go miles out of her way to do you a favor.

Plus Liam. Little rock and roller. Going to be a star. Once we've got the fits under control.

Steve. Fiona's boyfriend. The truth is out there. Not.
 
2012-11-30 04:03:46 PM

MadHatter500: TheHappTroll: So, how did they get caught?

Apparently they not only were horny but criminally gabby as well. Doesn't anyone remember how to deal with the police? Don't talk to them. EVER!

How the stop should have gone:

Dude: After rolling window down: Hello Offficer. What can I do for you?
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Dude: No.
Officer : I pulled you over due to failure to signal (or whatever it was).
Dude: I'm sorry officer.
Officer: Please give me your licence, registration and insurance
Dude:
Officer: Thank you
Officer: Here's your ticket
Dude:

If the officer gets nosy about the 2 chicks "This is my wife and a/her friend - we just got married".

Note: Never volunteer anything. Ever.

Anything else beyond that you say "Am I under arrest?" followed by "Can I go now?"

Dumbasses. 

I mean how does "This is some 17 year old chick we picked up for muffin munching next state over" ever come up in a traffic stop?




I wondered the same thing.
How high must the driver have been to go, "Sorry about the turn signal officer. It's just that we are in a rush you see. It's our wedding night and we found this here 17 year old to screw around with ... "
 
2012-11-30 04:56:09 PM
i.dailymail.co.uk images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2012-11-30 05:08:15 PM
I know I'm a bit old fashioned but I don't think I want a wife who likes to eat pussy. *adjusts onion on belt*
 
2012-11-30 05:57:32 PM
YouYall just got married. Do youyall C) Drive across state lines to pick up a 17-year-old girl for youryalls cute wife to have sex with (w/mugshots)
 
2012-11-30 09:25:10 PM
i'm just takin her for a test drive
 
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