Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(RealScreen)   AMC greenlights reality show about the divide between men who read the instructions before putting stuff together and men who do not. AMC, listen to me: Stop. You don't have to do this   (realscreen.com) divider line 69
    More: Stupid, AMC, reality shows, state bureau of investigation, digital recording, SVP, documentary series, block programming, Peabody Award-winning  
•       •       •

1773 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:27 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2012-11-29 02:25:47 PM  
Ass the motion picture is only a year away. They just started preproduction according to IMDB
 
2012-11-29 02:33:47 PM  
As a RTFM person, I have no interest in this show.
 
2012-11-29 02:40:09 PM  
They're not even trying anymore, are they?
 
2012-11-29 02:44:01 PM  
It's the way of successful TV networks.

Once they make a name for themselves with decent shows, they squat down and unleash the foulest, smelliest, most corn-flecked dump they can... and people generally watch it.
 
2012-11-29 02:49:47 PM  
"Every adult in the world falls into one of two categories. You either read the owner's manual or you don't,"

Sometimes I read the manual, sometimes I don't.

I must be a unique snowflake.
 
2012-11-29 03:49:51 PM  
So, like SyFy, I guess we just get to sit around waiting for the real shows to be cancelled before abandoning the network altogether.
 
2012-11-29 03:50:52 PM  
There was already a show about that, a sitcom even

t1.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-29 04:06:34 PM  
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2012-11-29 04:31:51 PM  
The owner's manual is just the manufacturer's opinion ... nothing more.
 
2012-11-29 04:32:25 PM  
If I have to pick between watching james may and jeremy clarkson, clarkson's going to win. It just makes better television if something goes horribly wrong..
 
2012-11-29 04:42:28 PM  
Having watched too much of this kind of stuff recently, I conclude that these kinds of shows are the only way to reach that elusive group of viewers who have an annuity and need cash now.
 
2012-11-29 04:44:28 PM  
Sigh...why is it that people who want entertainment to be created and performed by talented professionals are the exception and not the norm?
 
2012-11-29 04:47:39 PM  
You cancelled The Killing, for this?
 
2012-11-29 04:48:28 PM  
Produced by Asylum Entertainment...

At first I thought they were talking about "The Asylum", which would be cool, since it would have 100% more CGI snakes/sharks/spiders in it.
 
2012-11-29 04:49:40 PM  
So, where's the show for the guy (like me) who sizes up the project, determines if he'll need the instructions, and then goes from there?

Assembling a paper towel holder? I got this.
Assembling a snow blower? Might want to check the instructions.
Assembling an IKEA bookcase? Learn Swedish hieroglyphs, then read the instructions.
 
2012-11-29 04:52:33 PM  
they are putting a show together without reading your instructions, subby.

meta
 
2012-11-29 04:58:11 PM  
Has anyone in the programming department seen their logo?
cdn.realscreen.com
 
2012-11-29 04:59:22 PM  
I don't follow the instructions per se, but I do read them. Some of that stuff is optional. I'm not screwing the top of my bookcase to the wall, Ikea.
 
2012-11-29 05:01:40 PM  
The biggest question is why are these shows called 'unscripted'. Is it because the only writers, er I mean dialog consultants, they have are non-union
 
2012-11-29 05:03:50 PM  
Great, another show I'll have to suffer through in order to see one minute of next week's Breaking Bad
 
2012-11-29 05:07:12 PM  
So I am to believe the AMC programming meeting where execs wanted to find something to replace Breaking Bad was met only with screams, clawing, and general insanity?
 
2012-11-29 05:10:09 PM  

Treygreen13: So, where's the show for the guy (like me) who sizes up the project, determines if he'll need the instructions, and then goes from there?

Assembling a paper towel holder? I got this.
Assembling a snow blower? Might want to check the instructions.
Assembling an IKEA bookcase? Learn Swedish hieroglyphs, then read the instructions.


This.

/General Order for me seems to be: Try to do it, fark it up royally, read instuctions to figure out what I should have done, and how to fix it.
 
2012-11-29 05:15:18 PM  

DanZero: There was already a show about that, a sitcom even

[t1.gstatic.com image 341x148]


This is what I was going to add,

Tim was the guy who didn't read the manual, Al was the guy who did
 
2012-11-29 05:22:20 PM  
I hope they do little montages like "people using tape".
 
2012-11-29 05:24:19 PM  
I can't wait until TLC comes out with the little people version.
 
2012-11-29 05:34:40 PM  
Freakshow?

Really??

After Madmen is done AMC is done for.
 
2012-11-29 05:49:16 PM  

meyerkev: Assembling a paper towel holder? I got this.
Assembling a snow blower? Might want to check the instructions.
Assembling an IKEA bookcase? Learn Swedish hieroglyphs, then read the instructions.

This.

/General Order for me seems to be: Try to do it, fark it up royally, read instuctions to figure out what I should have done, and how to fix it.


General Order for me seems to be: Try to do it. Flip through manual to find which of 2 slightly different screws to use. Finish. Consult manual to find out where all the left over pieces were supposed to go.
 
2012-11-29 06:06:42 PM  
When TCM starts showing reality shows I will know the end is near
 
2012-11-29 06:16:53 PM  

Kanemano: You cancelled The Killing, for this?


And for Comic Book Men. God that show is painful.
 
2012-11-29 06:24:49 PM  
"...AMC greenlights reality show..."

RED ALERT... RED ALERT... AMC is about to shut down as an entertainment network. Enjoy Walking Dead while you still can.
 
2012-11-29 06:38:39 PM  
When I worked at an electronics store years ago, invariably someone would bring an item back in, claiming it would not work. The salesmen, a young and brash crew, would take on a serious tone, feigning concern for the customer's dilemma, and examine the item. Soon after they started their exam, they would have an over-the-top "aha" moment, and proclaim to the customer that the problem was that tricky "RTFM switch," which was now fixed and the item was working properly.

The customer, now satisifed, walked happily out of the store, not realizing that "RTFM" stood for "Read the F(ar)king Manual."
 
2012-11-29 06:50:05 PM  
Thanks a lot, "Survivor". You see what a flood of horseshiat you've caused to deluge on us? Fark that show, and all of the garbage it spawned.

Also, you're supposed to be AMERICAN MOVIE CLASSICS, AMC. This is not a movie, nor is it classic. I hate when stations think they need to mimic the latest craze.
 
2012-11-29 06:51:47 PM  
Are you farking kidding me?

We're two farking steps away from "Ow! My Balls!" actually making it onto the air, and assholes who watch "reality shows" are the reason.
 
2012-11-29 07:01:06 PM  

Keizer_Ghidorah: Thanks a lot, "Survivor". You see what a flood of horseshiat you've caused to deluge on us? Fark that show, and all of the garbage it spawned.

Also, you're supposed to be AMERICAN MOVIE CLASSICS, AMC. This is not a movie, nor is it classic. I hate when stations think they need to mimic the latest craze.


They haven't played American Movie Classics in over a decade.
 
2012-11-29 07:01:14 PM  
You don't have to do this
 

arbitrarynonsense.files.wordpress.com

People always say the same thing.
 
2012-11-29 07:01:58 PM  
Remember how Small Town Security came on after Breaking Bad?

It bears mentioning that there was always a HUGE drop in ratings for AMC right after Breaking Bad ended, even with the promise of Breaking Bad previews during Small Town Security.

All that to say this: the reality programming on the network is, by far and by large, horseshiat.
 
2012-11-29 07:09:48 PM  

mcreadyblue: Freakshow?

Really??

After Madmen is done AMC is done for.


Nah, they still have Walking Dead.

But seriously... Breaking Bad is gone in 2013, Mad Men in 2014, Walking Dead is all they're going to have left unless they start putting together some real shows. The reality crap always fails.
 
2012-11-29 07:13:36 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: They haven't played American Movie Classics in over a decade.


Are you implying that Catwoman and Halloween 4 are not, in fact, American movie classics?
 
2012-11-29 07:15:50 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: The reality crap always fails.


Funny. TLC is bathing in cash. Turns out Honey Boo Boo gets eyeballs.
 
2012-11-29 07:31:03 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: All that to say this: the reality programming on the network is, by far and by large, horseshiat.

 
2012-11-29 08:21:00 PM  

meyerkev: Treygreen13: So, where's the show for the guy (like me) who sizes up the project, determines if he'll need the instructions, and then goes from there?

Assembling a paper towel holder? I got this.
Assembling a snow blower? Might want to check the instructions.
Assembling an IKEA bookcase? Learn Swedish hieroglyphs, then read the instructions.

This.

/General Order for me seems to be: Try to do it, fark it up royally, read instuctions to figure out what I should have done, and how to fix it.


this is generally my experience. *to gf* no, i know how this works, i'm good. um...you can go inside now, i got this. *frantically looks at instruction pictures so i can unfark this mess i just made* gf comes back, "yep, i got it. first try. no, these broken pieces came this way. crappy company if you ask me. never buying from them again!"
 
2012-11-29 08:32:16 PM  
AMC: Story No Longer Matters Here
 
2012-11-29 08:36:37 PM  

FishyFred: FirstNationalBastard: The reality crap always fails.

Funny. TLC is bathing in cash. Turns out Honey Boo Boo gets eyeballs.


When a network only goes half-derp, it fails (See:Siffy or Game Show Network)

However, when a network goes full derp, like TLC or MTV, it can be successful.
 
2012-11-29 08:36:50 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: The reality crap always fails.


Let me preface my comment by saying that I don't defend reality shows:

You underestimate the power of the lowest common denominator.


Apos: AMC: Story No Longer Matters Here


I'd like to make a "NOT AVAILABLE ON DISH" wisecrack, but AMC screwed *that* up for me, too.


The Slush: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: reality programming is, by far and by large, horseshiat.


I can live with that editing.
 
2012-11-29 08:51:22 PM  

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: FirstNationalBastard: The reality crap always fails.

Let me preface my comment by saying that I don't defend reality shows:

You underestimate the power of the lowest common denominator.


Apos: AMC: Story No Longer Matters Here

I'd like to make a "NOT AVAILABLE ON DISH" wisecrack, but AMC screwed *that* up for me, too.


The Slush: Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: reality programming is, by far and by large, horseshiat.

I can live with that editing.


I hear ya.
 
2012-11-29 08:56:58 PM  
Still waiting on Hillbilly handjobs.
 
2012-11-29 09:03:39 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Still waiting on Hillbilly handjobs.


Well, Taryn Manning is available and doing some desperate things for cash. Cant get much more Hillbilly than that
 
2012-11-29 09:54:58 PM  

wiredroach: You don't have to do this


25.media.tumblr.com
 
2012-11-29 10:47:21 PM  
I never understood why it's considered "manly" to ignore instructions. It just seems dumb to me to buy something in kit form, and then pretend you're building it from scratch. I figure that the people who designed and fabricated the thing wrote a document telling me how it works or how to put it together, so it's worthwhile to at least read said document.
 
2012-11-29 11:49:37 PM  

cman: Ass the motion picture is only a year away. They just started preproduction according to IMDB


How many people googled that to see if it was true?
 
2012-11-30 12:27:28 AM  

Odd Bird: Has anyone in the programming department seen their logo?
[cdn.realscreen.com image 300x197]


I remember when American Movie Classics used to show movies. They did it just like TCM. They had a guy come on between movies to talk about them. I think George Clooney's dad had the gig for a while, and then John Burke had it up until they started cutting the movies in two for a commercial break. Then they got rid of the host and just began chopping the movies into little 8 minute segments with 4-to-5 minute commercial blocks. It would take three hours to watch a 90-minute movie. Then they started with the original programming WITH LIMITED COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION!!! OMFG!!! What a concept!!! AMC has gotten so screwed up I don't even watch it any more.
 
2012-11-30 03:14:46 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: I remember when American Movie Classics used to show movies.


I still remember the first time they showed "Bachelor Party".

A classic to me, at least.
 
2012-11-30 04:41:55 AM  
Patton Oswalt was wrong... maybe they won't ever find something they won't film. Coming soon, season nine of World's Most Listless Loiterers!
 
2012-11-30 04:52:38 AM  
As long as it doesn't take away from TWD's budget, I don't care what they do!
 
2012-11-30 07:25:50 AM  
I really do read the instructions, albeit through a rum haze a lot of times. It goes fairly well most of the time, until I realize the coffee table looks nothing like Peyton Manning, put SI back in the liquor cabinet and pour a fresh one from the bookcase. We should order pizza, but not from that one place - they suck.

Inevitably, wake up on a pile of lumber in the living room and finish hungover.

The g/f never believes me when I try to tell her these things give me a headache.
 
2012-11-30 09:22:32 AM  
To quote Jack Donaghy in the most recent 30 Rock: I remember when Bravo used to show operas.
 
2012-11-30 09:23:33 AM  
*thinks back to the days of assembling Ikea furniture*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
 
2012-11-30 09:23:46 AM  
Let me know when It's safe to move back to the States. It was going to be this summer, but...
 
2012-11-30 09:32:51 AM  
I remember when American Movie Classics used to show movies. They did it just like TCM. They had a guy come on between movies to talk about them. I think George Clooney's dad had the gig for a while, and then John Burke had it up until they started cutting the movies in two for a commercial break. Then they got rid of the host and just began chopping the movies into little 8 minute segments with 4-to-5 minute commercial blocks. It would take three hours to watch a 90-minute movie. Then they started with the original programming WITH LIMITED COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION!!! OMFG!!!

You aren't alone.
I remember this, too.
AMC was the TCM of its day.

It went the way of removing the "M" from "MTV" years ago. At least five or six.
Now when you watch something on AMC, you may as well watch it on the IFC channel or, god forbid, TBS.
So many commercials it's actually faster and easier to find the movie online or rent/buy a DVD copy.

/missing the days of VHS
 
2012-11-30 09:42:04 AM  

Fark Me To Tears: Then they started with the original programming WITH LIMITED COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION!!!


I hate that phrase. Does anyone air programming with unlimited commercial interruption?
 
2012-11-30 09:59:23 AM  
This, ladies and germs, is why I only have Netflix.

Still, this sounds several levels better than "Honey Boo Boo".
 
2012-11-30 11:36:55 AM  
Does anyone air programming with unlimited commercial interruption?


Yes. Turner Classic Movies, a.k.a. "TCM."
One of the last bastions of television goodness and archived amazements.

What AMC used to be a long time ago.
I respect TCM in the fact that they don't cater to their viewers.
They don't talk down, they don't ad-lib, they don't lie, they don't stage.
TCM respects who watches them and thanks their viewers by providing viewing that might otherwise go unnoticed or forgotten in the vaults.
 
2012-11-30 12:01:27 PM  
How set up instructions are created

1. The Geek
The Geek knows everything you need to know except for one thing: you do not know everything the Geek knows. The Geek is responsable for creating the software and the hardware. Typically, the geek's contribution to writing instructions is creating the included set-up sheet that tells you how to take the machine, the cords, and the CD out of the box. This is all that gets through to the reader of the accompanying instructions. The Geek assumes you know all the rest.

2. The Writer
The writer doesn't understand a word that the Geek says, therefore they do not bother to write any of it down. Instead the write a manual which tells you the basics of the device, such as a helpful number that tells you the button that says "On" is the On Button (number 5).

3. The Software Disc.
The Software Disc contains all the files that will be installed from the software disc. Unfortunately it does not tell you where to start or where the files are located in the 75 directories on the disc. As a result you will try to start up with at least seven different files before you discover the Read Me file, let alone the start-up file that tells you that you should go to the prouduct website for the real instructions, which like the user manual, were too big to include on the start-up disk. Oh, and half the files that will be downloaded to your computer are on the website as well, along with 800,000 files for 8000 products that look a lot like the one you actually bought.

4. The website
There is an old saying that God gave man tongues to conceal his thoughts. This is no longer true. Websites now fulfill this purpose even better.

5. Bringing it altogether.
If you have not yet gone psychotic, you will eventually find the hidden instruction that tells you where to find the hidden instructions that hide the real instructions for clicking on the right button or file that will eventually take you through the correct start up procedure instead of the 500 wrong procedures you have systematically experimented with. Instead of plug-and-play, you have been gang-raped by forty gangbangers with a collective IQ of 2,000,000 and the social and communication skills of an autistic wood louse.

6. Once you have brought all the information you need together
You will be able to set up your plug-and-play device in under three hours.

I recently bought an HP laser printer. This is exactly the process that I went through except for one small detail: the part of the machine that holds the cartridges was ALSO hidden. There was not a single indication that it existed on any of the paper that came in the box, nor was it readily visible when you had removed all the plastic bits and tape that you had to remove. Also hidden was the fact that you should NOT plug in the USB cord until told to do this. Naturally, plugging in the USB cord was one of the first things I did because it is necessary for the software disc to communicate with the hardware so it is perfectly logical and intuitive to do this.

Allow me to finish with one of the most important ideas that you will ever learn:

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."
-- George Bernard Shaw

This is my touchstone. It covers so many of the problems that I have at work that it is in my signature block. People think it is funny. It is not funny. It is the Law of Farking Entropy at work. This may be a witty and wise thing to say, but it is not funny. Well, not as funny as Death or Mass Extinction at least.

Never attempt to do anything by email. Send the email for information and then walk to the idjit who will fail to read the email and tell them what you have asked them to do in the email and everything else they could conceivably need to know, such as who, what, when, where, why and DON'T SEND ANOTHER EMAIL and think you are done.
 
2012-11-30 12:03:11 PM  

cman: Ass the motion picture is only a year away. They just started preproduction according to IMDB


Ass the Motion Picture? Do you mean Ass Disaster IX? I am looking forward to that one. I've heard great things.
 
2012-11-30 12:29:44 PM  
According to polls, 35% of the people who watch Honey Boo Boo think they are watching Yogi Bear and Friends.
 
2012-11-30 01:18:48 PM  
Rubicon lasts only one season and they come out with this? What is wrong with them?
 
2012-11-30 02:20:36 PM  

zombiegoat: Patton Oswalt was wrong... maybe they won't ever find something they won't film. Coming soon, season nine of World's Most Listless Loiterers!


I hear that's on the table once Rape Stove: The Stove That Rapes People is wrapped up
 
2012-11-30 04:38:58 PM  
I talk to people all day long that refuse to read manuals. Job security

/won't watch though
//enough of those dummies 8 hrs a day
 
2012-12-01 09:15:03 AM  
Hey complainers. One simple question. What do you watch on AMC Thursday nights?

Oh, nothing? That's right nothing. You currently do not watch AMC Thursday nights.

Everybody acts like these droves of reality shows are taking away from the "quality" shows that AMC (or any other easily-bashable network) runs, but these shows actually fund those shows by assuring these networks can even stay afloat in order to buy the shows you love. You have a show like Mad Men, Walking Dead or whatever else. Those shows air ~13 episode a year AT BEST, one hour a week for three months plus whatever reruns they can squeeze out of them, and then it's back to hiatus.

Mad Men isn't going to go away. Walking Dead will continue airing until the actual zombie apocalypse. Don't get your panties in a wad. A 2 hour block of time full of shows you don't care about, on a night you more than likely already aren't watching the network in the first place isn't some sign that they're abandoning quality programming for reality schlock like TLC. It's a sign that they are looking for cheaply produced content to fill primetime slots on off nights in the hope that they will be profitable.
 
Displayed 69 of 69 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report