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(RealScreen)   AMC greenlights reality show about the divide between men who read the instructions before putting stuff together and men who do not. AMC, listen to me: Stop. You don't have to do this   (realscreen.com) divider line 69
    More: Stupid, AMC, reality shows, state bureau of investigation, digital recording, SVP, documentary series, block programming, Peabody Award-winning  
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1769 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 Nov 2012 at 4:27 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-30 12:27:28 AM

Odd Bird: Has anyone in the programming department seen their logo?
[cdn.realscreen.com image 300x197]


I remember when American Movie Classics used to show movies. They did it just like TCM. They had a guy come on between movies to talk about them. I think George Clooney's dad had the gig for a while, and then John Burke had it up until they started cutting the movies in two for a commercial break. Then they got rid of the host and just began chopping the movies into little 8 minute segments with 4-to-5 minute commercial blocks. It would take three hours to watch a 90-minute movie. Then they started with the original programming WITH LIMITED COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION!!! OMFG!!! What a concept!!! AMC has gotten so screwed up I don't even watch it any more.
 
2012-11-30 03:14:46 AM

Fark Me To Tears: I remember when American Movie Classics used to show movies.


I still remember the first time they showed "Bachelor Party".

A classic to me, at least.
 
2012-11-30 04:41:55 AM
Patton Oswalt was wrong... maybe they won't ever find something they won't film. Coming soon, season nine of World's Most Listless Loiterers!
 
2012-11-30 04:52:38 AM
As long as it doesn't take away from TWD's budget, I don't care what they do!
 
2012-11-30 07:25:50 AM
I really do read the instructions, albeit through a rum haze a lot of times. It goes fairly well most of the time, until I realize the coffee table looks nothing like Peyton Manning, put SI back in the liquor cabinet and pour a fresh one from the bookcase. We should order pizza, but not from that one place - they suck.

Inevitably, wake up on a pile of lumber in the living room and finish hungover.

The g/f never believes me when I try to tell her these things give me a headache.
 
2012-11-30 09:22:32 AM
To quote Jack Donaghy in the most recent 30 Rock: I remember when Bravo used to show operas.
 
2012-11-30 09:23:33 AM
*thinks back to the days of assembling Ikea furniture*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!
 
2012-11-30 09:23:46 AM
Let me know when It's safe to move back to the States. It was going to be this summer, but...
 
2012-11-30 09:32:51 AM
I remember when American Movie Classics used to show movies. They did it just like TCM. They had a guy come on between movies to talk about them. I think George Clooney's dad had the gig for a while, and then John Burke had it up until they started cutting the movies in two for a commercial break. Then they got rid of the host and just began chopping the movies into little 8 minute segments with 4-to-5 minute commercial blocks. It would take three hours to watch a 90-minute movie. Then they started with the original programming WITH LIMITED COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION!!! OMFG!!!

You aren't alone.
I remember this, too.
AMC was the TCM of its day.

It went the way of removing the "M" from "MTV" years ago. At least five or six.
Now when you watch something on AMC, you may as well watch it on the IFC channel or, god forbid, TBS.
So many commercials it's actually faster and easier to find the movie online or rent/buy a DVD copy.

/missing the days of VHS
 
2012-11-30 09:42:04 AM

Fark Me To Tears: Then they started with the original programming WITH LIMITED COMMERCIAL INTERRUPTION!!!


I hate that phrase. Does anyone air programming with unlimited commercial interruption?
 
2012-11-30 09:59:23 AM
This, ladies and germs, is why I only have Netflix.

Still, this sounds several levels better than "Honey Boo Boo".
 
2012-11-30 11:36:55 AM
Does anyone air programming with unlimited commercial interruption?


Yes. Turner Classic Movies, a.k.a. "TCM."
One of the last bastions of television goodness and archived amazements.

What AMC used to be a long time ago.
I respect TCM in the fact that they don't cater to their viewers.
They don't talk down, they don't ad-lib, they don't lie, they don't stage.
TCM respects who watches them and thanks their viewers by providing viewing that might otherwise go unnoticed or forgotten in the vaults.
 
2012-11-30 12:01:27 PM
How set up instructions are created

1. The Geek
The Geek knows everything you need to know except for one thing: you do not know everything the Geek knows. The Geek is responsable for creating the software and the hardware. Typically, the geek's contribution to writing instructions is creating the included set-up sheet that tells you how to take the machine, the cords, and the CD out of the box. This is all that gets through to the reader of the accompanying instructions. The Geek assumes you know all the rest.

2. The Writer
The writer doesn't understand a word that the Geek says, therefore they do not bother to write any of it down. Instead the write a manual which tells you the basics of the device, such as a helpful number that tells you the button that says "On" is the On Button (number 5).

3. The Software Disc.
The Software Disc contains all the files that will be installed from the software disc. Unfortunately it does not tell you where to start or where the files are located in the 75 directories on the disc. As a result you will try to start up with at least seven different files before you discover the Read Me file, let alone the start-up file that tells you that you should go to the prouduct website for the real instructions, which like the user manual, were too big to include on the start-up disk. Oh, and half the files that will be downloaded to your computer are on the website as well, along with 800,000 files for 8000 products that look a lot like the one you actually bought.

4. The website
There is an old saying that God gave man tongues to conceal his thoughts. This is no longer true. Websites now fulfill this purpose even better.

5. Bringing it altogether.
If you have not yet gone psychotic, you will eventually find the hidden instruction that tells you where to find the hidden instructions that hide the real instructions for clicking on the right button or file that will eventually take you through the correct start up procedure instead of the 500 wrong procedures you have systematically experimented with. Instead of plug-and-play, you have been gang-raped by forty gangbangers with a collective IQ of 2,000,000 and the social and communication skills of an autistic wood louse.

6. Once you have brought all the information you need together
You will be able to set up your plug-and-play device in under three hours.

I recently bought an HP laser printer. This is exactly the process that I went through except for one small detail: the part of the machine that holds the cartridges was ALSO hidden. There was not a single indication that it existed on any of the paper that came in the box, nor was it readily visible when you had removed all the plastic bits and tape that you had to remove. Also hidden was the fact that you should NOT plug in the USB cord until told to do this. Naturally, plugging in the USB cord was one of the first things I did because it is necessary for the software disc to communicate with the hardware so it is perfectly logical and intuitive to do this.

Allow me to finish with one of the most important ideas that you will ever learn:

"The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place."
-- George Bernard Shaw

This is my touchstone. It covers so many of the problems that I have at work that it is in my signature block. People think it is funny. It is not funny. It is the Law of Farking Entropy at work. This may be a witty and wise thing to say, but it is not funny. Well, not as funny as Death or Mass Extinction at least.

Never attempt to do anything by email. Send the email for information and then walk to the idjit who will fail to read the email and tell them what you have asked them to do in the email and everything else they could conceivably need to know, such as who, what, when, where, why and DON'T SEND ANOTHER EMAIL and think you are done.
 
2012-11-30 12:03:11 PM

cman: Ass the motion picture is only a year away. They just started preproduction according to IMDB


Ass the Motion Picture? Do you mean Ass Disaster IX? I am looking forward to that one. I've heard great things.
 
2012-11-30 12:29:44 PM
According to polls, 35% of the people who watch Honey Boo Boo think they are watching Yogi Bear and Friends.
 
2012-11-30 01:18:48 PM
Rubicon lasts only one season and they come out with this? What is wrong with them?
 
2012-11-30 02:20:36 PM

zombiegoat: Patton Oswalt was wrong... maybe they won't ever find something they won't film. Coming soon, season nine of World's Most Listless Loiterers!


I hear that's on the table once Rape Stove: The Stove That Rapes People is wrapped up
 
2012-11-30 04:38:58 PM
I talk to people all day long that refuse to read manuals. Job security

/won't watch though
//enough of those dummies 8 hrs a day
 
2012-12-01 09:15:03 AM
Hey complainers. One simple question. What do you watch on AMC Thursday nights?

Oh, nothing? That's right nothing. You currently do not watch AMC Thursday nights.

Everybody acts like these droves of reality shows are taking away from the "quality" shows that AMC (or any other easily-bashable network) runs, but these shows actually fund those shows by assuring these networks can even stay afloat in order to buy the shows you love. You have a show like Mad Men, Walking Dead or whatever else. Those shows air ~13 episode a year AT BEST, one hour a week for three months plus whatever reruns they can squeeze out of them, and then it's back to hiatus.

Mad Men isn't going to go away. Walking Dead will continue airing until the actual zombie apocalypse. Don't get your panties in a wad. A 2 hour block of time full of shows you don't care about, on a night you more than likely already aren't watching the network in the first place isn't some sign that they're abandoning quality programming for reality schlock like TLC. It's a sign that they are looking for cheaply produced content to fill primetime slots on off nights in the hope that they will be profitable.
 
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