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(Huffington Post)   Good news for all you laid off Hostess employees, the top executives bonuses totaling up to $1.8 million will most likely to be approved by a judge today   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 46
    More: Asinine, twinkies, white-breads, Ho Hos, liquidation, ding dongs, blueberries  
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7006 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2012 at 2:23 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2012-11-29 10:46:28 AM  
6 votes:
They need that money so they can go out and create all the jobs. You'll see.
2012-11-29 01:00:11 PM  
5 votes:

doyner: AlwaysRightBoy: basemetal: Bunch of farking ding dongs......

I prefer to call them Ho Ho's.

Or Snowballers.


All right you guys, stop it with the Zingers.
2012-11-29 02:42:53 PM  
4 votes:
That's an awful high salary just for liquidizing twinkies, I mean, I was able to do that with just a blender and a bunch of rum.

Not really sure what happened after that, but from what I'm told I threw up on someone's dog.
2012-11-29 11:09:44 AM  
3 votes:
I think we can all agree that the top executives had an awesome union.
2012-11-29 10:35:27 AM  
3 votes:
Thank God! I was worried about those guys!
2012-11-29 10:32:34 AM  
3 votes:
And remember - this is ALL the union's fault!
2012-11-29 02:38:27 PM  
2 votes:
This is $1.8 million. About a hundred grand per executive. It's nothing.

If this union had played ball, they'd all still have jobs. I feel no pity for this (or any other union). Unions lost their relevance 200 years ago.
2012-11-29 12:14:24 PM  
2 votes:

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Makh: They just couldn't compete in this economy. Little Debbie is still selling cloud cakes. Link

Pfft! No one bakes a cake as tasty as Tastykake.


They make delicious Kandy Kakes. Everyone knows white Krispy Kandy Kakes do very well in the south.
2012-11-29 11:13:35 AM  
2 votes:
I think I'm going to open a business selling pitchforks and torches to these l aid off workers. i'll make a killing.
2012-11-29 10:59:10 AM  
2 votes:

AlwaysRightBoy: basemetal: Bunch of farking ding dongs......

I prefer to call them Ho Ho's.


Or Snowballers.
2012-11-29 10:37:09 AM  
2 votes:
Bunch of farking ding dongs......
2012-11-29 09:07:11 PM  
1 votes:
Can't blame the owners for getting what's left of their company after the union destroyed it. Management was ready to deal but the union thugs wanted more money. Doors closed, gates locked and workers not working. Way to go union.
A good wake up call to other workers being pressured into joining unions.
2012-11-29 05:41:30 PM  
1 votes:
This wouldn't have happened if Romney was elected.
2012-11-29 05:36:23 PM  
1 votes:

vernonFL: The bonuses do not include pay for CEO Gregory Rayburn, who was brought on as a restructuring expert earlier this year. Rayburn is being paid $125,000 a month.

Does he shiat out gold twinkies? What could he possibly be doing to earn $125,000 a month?


Talk to to corporate (like a boss)
Approve memos (like a boss)
Lead a workshop (like a boss)
Remember birthdays (like a boss)
Direct workflow (like a boss)
My own bathroom (like a boss)
Micromanage (like a boss)
Promote Synergy (like a boss)
Hit on Debra (like a boss)
Get rejected (like a boss)
Swallow sadness (like a boss)
Send some faxes (like a boss)
Call a sex line (like a boss)
Cry deeply (like a boss)
Demand a refund (like a boss)
Eat a bagel (like a boss)
Harrassment lawsuit (like a boss)
No promotion (like a boss)
Fifth of vodka (like a boss)
shiat on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Buy a gun (like a boss)
In my mouth (like a boss)

Oh fark man I can't farking do it... shiat!

Pussy out (like a boss)
Puke on Debra's desk (like a boss)
Jump out the window (like a boss)
Suck a dude's dick (like a boss)
Score some coke (like a boss)
Crash my car (like a boss)
Suck my own dick (like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips (like a boss)
Chop my balls off (like a boss)
Black out in the sewer (like a boss)
Meet a giant fish (like a boss)
fark its brains out (like a boss)
Turn into a jet (like a boss)
Bomb the Russians (like a boss)
Crash into the sun (like a boss)
Now I'm dead (like a boss)
2012-11-29 04:51:40 PM  
1 votes:

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Joe Blowme: HAHAHAHA the jealousy in this thread is awsome

There's no shame in being jealous of people earning $1.8 mil to mismanage a company. shiat, I'd do it for half that.


I'd do it for a quarter of that! I'M MORE COMPETITIVE, HIRE MEEEEEE
2012-11-29 04:34:51 PM  
1 votes:

Mattoon: Since the unions were offered 25% of the company, board membership, and a $100 million IOU from management


That and a buck will get you a cup of coffee.
2012-11-29 04:13:45 PM  
1 votes:

JeffreyScott: While $1.8 million sounds like a large chunck of money, it is within a 3.5 to 1 ratio and is very reasonable.


It also incites calls for violence from internet basement dwellers.
2012-11-29 04:08:08 PM  
1 votes:

whidbey: Ah, capitalism.

I love how we still suck its dick in the supposedly enlightened 21st century.

Can't talk about being out of work, or hating on corporations that treat workers like shiat.

Because it would be rude, or something.


Please enlighten us on how your Utopia would be structured. Would everyone get a unicorn? Would decisions be made only if 100% of the population agree? The world waits with bated breath.
2012-11-29 04:06:07 PM  
1 votes:
vulture caps look at a company's annual net revenue and then use that figure to determine how much money can be borrowed where the annual interest payment on the new loan is equal to the annual net revenue.

Say, 10 million in revenue and a 10% interest rate ... the raiders would borrow 100 million, and then use the revenue to pay that note. they just got 100 million to pay themselves bonuses with. and the company has a 100 million bill that they can never repay (because their former total net revenue is only enough to pay the interest).
2012-11-29 04:01:22 PM  
1 votes:
Boy the Unions got the last laugh on this one!! 

www.friendlyflutes.co.uk
2012-11-29 03:55:35 PM  
1 votes:
@TV's Vinnie: Hate to break it to you, but you're "rich" to that vast majority of the worlds population. Get in line for your loppin'.  http://www.globalrichlist.com/
2012-11-29 03:46:27 PM  
1 votes:

fickenchucker: That's just stupid.

But place yourself in those striking employees' shoes. I cannot for the life of me figure out why they would strike and become jobless at the end. I would vote to keep working and look for another job with at least something coming in. Unemployment can't be as much as the reduced pay rate, can it?


It sounds like the average intelligence level for a union worker is starting to dawn on you.

Pressing a button on an assembly line shouldn't merit any pay, much less the $80-$100 an hour most union workers get.
2012-11-29 03:45:02 PM  
1 votes:

Magorn: As if there WERE other jobs avaialble right then in a financial secotr in which investment banks were falling like dominoes, and as if anyone would (or should) hire someone with the stink of AIG's FAIL still lingering on them.


Intelligent people will always have/find jobs.

#inconvenienttruth
2012-11-29 03:31:02 PM  
1 votes:
If Twinkies went the way of the Dodo, wouldn't we be better off in the long run?

Capitalism is trying to help your fat asses, and you don't see it.
2012-11-29 03:27:58 PM  
1 votes:

Magorn: I'd lay money that everything's gonna get bought up by the Mexican baking giant Bimbo.


Looking forward to the first Mexican Twinkie with a severed finger from a dismembered drug cartel member in it.

i.ytimg.com
"WE HAVE A WINNER!"
2012-11-29 03:23:00 PM  
1 votes:
And this is what happens when the People refuse to round up and decapitate the rich.

www.herodote.net
2012-11-29 03:09:13 PM  
1 votes:
That's a big Twinkie
2012-11-29 02:51:52 PM  
1 votes:

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Makh: They just couldn't compete in this economy. Little Debbie is still selling cloud cakes. Link

Pfft! No one bakes a cake as tasty as Tastykake.


I clicked on the link expecting:
Lazy town featuring lil jon NSFW 
2012-11-29 02:50:59 PM  
1 votes:

unlikely: I am constantly amazed that there hasn't been a torches-and-pitchforks uprising yet.


What? And miss American Idol?

/fat people don't revolt
2012-11-29 02:49:47 PM  
1 votes:

chrisco123: tricycleracer

+1 for calling $100k a pittance.
+1 for bashing unions.
+1 for brevity.

3/10.

We have junior traders on our desk, all of 22 years-old, who will be seriously pissed if they don't get a $400K bonus. $100K for an executive is a pittance.


no you don't, brah
2012-11-29 02:48:18 PM  
1 votes:

minoridiot: The suitors now include at least five national retailers such as supermarkets, a financial adviser for the company said in bankruptcy court.

I wonder if Walmart will try to purchase the brand.


Baked goods made in China? hmmmm. I can taste the sawdust and formaldehyde now.
2012-11-29 02:46:56 PM  
1 votes:
ya we get it, you're bitter because the best job you could muster involves saying "would you like fries with that?" it's not the rest of the worlds problem you didn't play your cards right or get a decent education, maybe you should've taken a real course instead of getting a degree in literature or arts.
2012-11-29 02:43:39 PM  
1 votes:

doyner: Thank God! I was worried about those guys!


I see we're done here.
2012-11-29 02:40:30 PM  
1 votes:
$1.8 million split between what nineteen people in top management for a company that takes in nearly $3 billion in revenues? Many of these execs only make $1 salary and rely on bonuses and stock options for payment. Obviously it was the $1.8 million in bonuses and not the $700 million a year being paid out to retired people for pension and health benefits. That is $700 million in costs to people who are no longer producing for your company. On top of that you gotta pay all the bills as well as salary. I guess if they gave that money back they could write a check to all the employees for $100.
2012-11-29 02:37:34 PM  
1 votes:
If they needed incentives to keep high-level managers on to help close down the company, I really can't see a problem with this and predict the judge most likely won't either. From other companies that I am aware of that have liquidated, as long as they can justify the costs and no one did anything illegal or individually caused the problem, the courts allow it.
2012-11-29 02:36:55 PM  
1 votes:

Click Click D'oh: Uh... the bonuses are to retain management members who will be involved in the liquidation process, and who would likely jump ship otherwise. Farkers do realize that qualified executives would flee Hostess without retention bonuses right? Well, that actually could explain a lot around Fark if the average Farker would stay with a dieing company instead of seeking alternative employment...


Shh, you're interrupting the circle derp.
2012-11-29 02:36:11 PM  
1 votes:
$1,800,000 divided by 16,000 employees = $112.50

Or, a little more than half a day's wages.

BIG FARKIN' DEAL!!!!!
2012-11-29 02:35:45 PM  
1 votes:
Not to worry. I'm sure it will all trickle down.
2012-11-29 02:35:37 PM  
1 votes:
Ah, this thread again. People still not understanding employment contracts.
2012-11-29 02:35:14 PM  
1 votes:
The payment is part of thier employment contact.. What is wrong with that?
They signed the contract agreeing to stay on while the company was going under instead of going to look for another job.
Zoh my god, the company is fulfilling the contract they made with these employees...
2012-11-29 02:34:06 PM  
1 votes:
Uh... the bonuses are to retain management members who will be involved in the liquidation process, and who would likely jump ship otherwise. Farkers do realize that qualified executives would flee Hostess without retention bonuses right? Well, that actually could explain a lot around Fark if the average Farker would stay with a dieing company instead of seeking alternative employment...
2012-11-29 02:28:18 PM  
1 votes:
Well, why don't the union workers become executives then? Problem solved
2012-11-29 02:27:33 PM  
1 votes:
Good.

Those Hostess employees brought about the companies' collapse. They deserve dirt in their eye.

Exec bonuses tied to how well they handle the liquidation. Sounds reasonable.

Unions suck.
2012-11-29 10:40:19 AM  
1 votes:

Weaver95: And remember - this is ALL the union's fault!


How does a cupcake company build up $1 billion in debt? DAMN YOU UNIONS!!!!
2012-11-29 10:37:03 AM  
1 votes:
The Vulture Capitalists get their pound of flesh, the executives get their golden parachutes, and the employees get shafted big time.

That's the Bain Way!
2012-11-29 10:37:00 AM  
1 votes:

raerae1980: T What are the grounds for allowing these bonuses for Hostess execs to be approved?


because they're rich! plus, ya know, unions.
 
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