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(IT World)   Ten obviously untrue things programmers tell themselves, aside from "That chick in accounting totally wants me"   (itworld.com) divider line 11
    More: Misc, software engineers  
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7222 clicks; posted to Geek » on 29 Nov 2012 at 9:56 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2012-11-29 10:38:17 AM
3 votes:
I once got a requirement to make an application backward and forward compatible.

I have to admit, I was a bit stymied on how to develop precognitive code.
2012-11-29 11:04:49 AM
2 votes:

UberDave: Most programmers aren't that stupid. We know you are running in a different environment (sometimes radically). If you can't do something, you need to either provide the error you are getting or give the sequence that led to the error or both.


That's better than what I get most of the time. Usually I have to troubleshoot "This no workey!" "Well, what's not working?" "it doesn't work!" "Ok, but what about it doesn't work?" "Everything. It's just all not working!"

So I go out to the floor and cannot identify any problems. I go back to my office and I never hear another peep.

FuryOfFirestorm: What a bunch of idiots, am I right? They should have totally asked for a mauve or chartreuse screen. Dumbasses.


I think mauve has the most RAM.
2012-11-29 10:15:01 AM
2 votes:

Leeds: I take offense to this one: "I know what the client wants - I know what the client said, but that's not really what they want."

Because knowing how to tease out the real requirements is one of the main keys to success in this business.


My initial training was heavily focused on "Requirements Gathering." And yes, it is a technical skill. Filtering the nonsense out and preserving the required business logic to be implemented is a real skill. And sorely lacking in the industry.

CSB: I had to reengineer a tax compliance system for AT&T. So I interviewed the users. "How do you calculate this tax?" I asked.

"Well, we go into the legacy system, enter this number, and hit this button."

"No, I mean, what is the formula? What are the tax regs? If you had to calculate it with pencil and paper how would you do it?"

"Can you make the new screen light blue?"

[head banging on desk]
2012-11-29 09:19:08 AM
2 votes:
Wow. Author didn't put alot of thought into that list. I wonder if he was playing Halo while writing.
2012-11-29 09:06:47 PM
1 votes:

QT_3.14159: As the former IT girl in Accounting, I did, I totally wanted you. Yes, you, balding, pudgy average-looking network guy. Didn't you notice our instant rapport? I even called you from my cell phone when we needed you... but did you ever call me back sent you an email? No. I had to go find a different geek to hook up with and eventually become deliriously happy with.

 

/Maybe Exchange was down
2012-11-29 08:33:23 PM
1 votes:

QT_3.14159: As the former IT girl in Accounting, I did, I totally wanted you. Yes, you, balding, pudgy average-looking network guy. Didn't you notice our instant rapport? I even called you from my cell phone when we needed you... but did you ever call me back? No. I had to go find a different geek to hook up with and eventually become deliriously happy with.


I'll tell Mom. Then we can set the wedding date.
2012-11-29 07:43:48 PM
1 votes:
As the former IT girl in Accounting, I did, I totally wanted you. Yes, you, balding, pudgy average-looking network guy. Didn't you notice our instant rapport? I even called you from my cell phone when we needed you... but did you ever call me back? No. I had to go find a different geek to hook up with and eventually become deliriously happy with.
2012-11-29 03:07:33 PM
1 votes:

verbaltoxin: /Office Space had it right. Engineers are terrible at dealing with people.


Actually, it's people who are terrible at dealing with engineers.
2012-11-29 01:05:59 PM
1 votes:

mcreadyblue: Marine1: The self-documenting one... eh, it's sort of true. More and more languages are being developed as to make them read more like English, and this makes it easier to understand sans-comments. C# is an example.

C, on the other hand... if uncommented, is a nightmare.

C# always reads like the Gettysburg address:

namespace Monotalk.Indexer{using System;using System.IO;using
System.Collections;using Monotalk;using Monotalk.CSharp;public class Indexer{
public SourceDB db=new SourceDB();Hashtable fileIDs=new Hashtable();Hashtable
fileNames=new Hashtable();int files=0;public string this[int ID]{get{return(
string)fileNames[ID];}}public void Parse(string filename){CSharpParser parser;
ArrayList defines=new ArrayList();Stream input;int id;if(fileIDs[filename]==
null){fileIDs[filename]=(object)files; id=(int)fileIDs[filename];fileNa mes[id]=
filename;files++;}else id=(int)fileIDs[filename];try{input=Fi le.OpenRead(
filename);}catch{Console.WriteLine("So urce file '"+filename+
"' could not be opened");return;}StreamReader reader=new StreamReader(input);
parser=new CSharpParser(reader,filename,defines,d b,id);try{parser.parse();}
catch(Exception ex){Console.WriteLine("Compilation aborted: "+ex);}finally{
input.Close();}}}}


Four score and seven semicolons ago ...
2012-11-29 10:14:41 AM
1 votes:

Diogenes: Wow. Author didn't put alot of thought into that list. I wonder if he was playing Halo while writing.


Well, yeah, but he was totally thinking about the article while doing so.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2012-11-29 09:45:50 AM
1 votes:
I had to deal with rewriting this awful unmaintainable program where "correct" behavior was defined as "whatever version XYZ of this program did on some large input." New version never did work "correctly." The closest thing to a spec was an attempt to define the grammar, but not the semantics, of the input language. Other than Halo I could point to most of the things in that article.
 
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